Insult Sword Fighting! (Create your own insults!)

1568101125

Comments

  • edited July 2009
    When I'm done with you, not even your mother will be able to identify your corpse.
    When I'm done with you, there will be nothing left of you for even trying.

    You won't even hit a barn with your fumbling.
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    When I'm done with you, there will be nothing left of you for even trying.

    You won't even hit a barn with your fumbling.

    You wouldn't even frighten a cow with all your mumbling.

    You're as welcome as a fart on a warm summers day.
  • edited July 2009
    Azure wrote: »
    You wouldn't even frighten a cow with all your mumbling.
    You're as welcome as a fart on a warm summers day.

    And you, for a start, like the smell of decay!

    Is your brain as tiny as that knife you call 'sword'?
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    And you, for a start, like the smell of decay!

    Is your brain as tiny as that knife you call 'sword'?

    It's bigger than the one in that wife of yours.

    Was your father a gorilla, or did you just have an incurable bad hair day?
  • edited July 2009
    Azure wrote: »
    You're as welcome as a fart on a warm summers day.

    Even fart would be enough to blow you away!
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    Is your brain as tiny as that knife you call 'sword'?

    And that wooden stick was all YOU could afford?

    ok one more
    Was your father a gorilla, or did you just have an incurable bad hair day?

    Umm.. you will.. uh, pay? For such a lousy insulting i mean, i will make you pay and all that.. u got it, right? Oh, come on, it wasnt that bad?

    I can jump the coconut tree with no strain at all!
  • edited July 2009
    I can jump the coconut tree with no strain at all!

    Aye, but you jumped the shark when you decided to take ME on!


    Arr, I be noddin' off here! Tell one o' these witnesses to wake me when I've killed ye.
  • edited July 2009
    Your face remarkably resembles the back-side of a ship!
    Rather a STERN face than yours, you squib!
    Arr, I be noddin' off here! Tell one o' these witnesses to wake me when I've killed ye.
    Noddin' off, eh? So no wonder yer fighting style is a nightmare.

    I've slain more people than I can even count.
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    I've slain more people than I can even count.

    Since you can't count at all, it's not such a big amount!

    I catch cannonballs with my bare hand!
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    I've slain more people than I can even count.

    But you can’t count to ten; so a measly amount!



    My blade is so sharp it can slice solid rock.
  • edited July 2009
    Since you can't count at all, it's not such a big amount!

    I catch cannonballs with my bare hand!

    Just to make the others think you're a man!

    Please let me show your new home: fresh, quiet and underground!
  • edited July 2009
    My blade is so sharp it can slice solid rock.

    But NOTHING could penetrate that thick skull of yours!
    Please let me show your new home: fresh, quiet and underground!

    I've been WONDERING who took over for Stan at the Used Coffin Emporium!


    In my hold lies a crate of "I defeated Jucius Maximus and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" t-shirts. Mint in box, never been worn...and never will be!
  • edited July 2009
    My blade is so sharp it can slice solid rock.
    That you cannot use it must have been a shock.
    In my hold lies a crate of "I defeated Jucius Maximus and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" t-shirts. Mint in box, never been worn...and never will be!
    That's because no one wants anything from you!

    I am quite sure you don't know what you're doing.
  • edited July 2009
    My blade is so sharp it can slice solid rock.

    But NOTHING could penetrate that thick skull of yours!

    That you cannot use it must have been a shock.

    = Mad Mary win. Looking back, I realized we were on a rhyming run and I totally disregarded it.

    EDIT: Oh, and...
    I am quite sure you don't know what you're doing.

    It might serve you to recall that you're fleeing and I'm persuing.
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    I am quite sure you don't know what you're doing.

    Oh sure you do - i m giving you some cutlass hewing.
  • edited July 2009
    I'm shivering, I'm shivering... ;)
    Both answers are great, guys, but where's the next insult??? :confused:
  • edited July 2009
    oh well i guessed to let jucius post a new insult since he was faster, but now that i m here

    You cant tell the cheese from gol', and ye'r think to plunder ship and all?
  • edited July 2009
    You cant tell the cheese from gol', and ye'r think to plunder ship an all?

    I AM thinking, yes and you'll fall, 'cause yer lack of brain use'll take its toll.

    (That was not easy...)

    You can't imagine how good I am fighting.
  • edited July 2009
    If it t'were true you would stop moonlighting!

    All of my foes end up impaled on a doorhinge.
  • edited July 2009
    PariahKing wrote: »
    If it t'were true you would stop moonlighting!

    All of my foes end up impaled on a doorhinge.

    What a coincidence. All my foes end up balled like an orange.

    I've seen grannies put up more of a fight.
  • edited July 2009
    I've seen grannies put up more of a fight.

    You mean you were beaten up by one?


    I have more fighting skill in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body!
  • edited July 2009
    Marduk wrote: »
    You mean you were beaten up by one?
    I have more fighting skill in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body!

    That's true, your smell is almost impossible to endure.
    (Couldn't find a rhyme for that one.)

    _ _ _ _ _

    People adore my sword art where ever I might sail!
  • edited July 2009
    I've seen grannies put up more of a fight
    .

    But I've never seen a fanny that was more of a blight!


    I'll kill a man if I don't like the way he blinks
  • edited July 2009
    Whoops! Too slow!
    People adore my sword art where ever I might sail!

    Then surely they'll abbhor me when I smite ye without fail!


    The merest mention of my name makes women weep and babies bawl!
  • edited July 2009
    The merest mention of my name makes women weep and babies bawl!
    They pity you, kid, what a shame; I'll make you creep now 'fore me and crawl!


    All over the sea I'm feared and respected.
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    All over the sea I'm feared and respected.

    Too bad at home you're completely neglected


    Me and my sword will one day rule the world!
  • edited July 2009
    Junaid wrote: »
    Me and my sword will one day rule the world!
    Nice dream, but now for me your hair'll be curled!
    You fight like a monkey who's drunk too much grog.
  • edited July 2009
    Junaid wrote: »
    Me and my sword will one day rule the world!

    Rule the world? More likely chances has a chimp with a turd!
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    You fight like a monkey who's drunk too much grog.

    But I don't fight and jump like a rootbeer drinking frog!

    When I step the shores natives run in disarray!
  • edited July 2009
    When I step the shores natives run in disarray!
    In fear of your boasting they rather don't stay.
    You fight like a squirrel, you talk like a donkey.
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    In fear of your boasting they rather don't stay.


    haha a great one :D
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    You fight like a squirrel, you talk like a donkey.

    At least when I fight, I don't look like an ass


    The only thing that could make me cry worse than your fighting style is an onion.
  • edited July 2009
    The only thing that could make me cry worse than your fighting style is an onion

    And that's the way you'll die, by citing style before substance


    By the time I'm finished with ye, even Deadeye Dave's most cutting edge experimental prostheses couldn't piece ye back together!
  • edited July 2009
    haha a great one :D
    Thanx!
    By the time I'm finished with ye, even Deadeye Dave's most cutting edge experimental prostheses couldn't piece ye back together!
    Right you are, for I will laugh until I explode if I have to watch you any longer.
    No one ever challenged me and lived.
  • edited July 2009
    .
    But I've never seen a fanny that was more of a blight!
    Dude, that's disgusting.
  • edited July 2009
    Arrr, by the time I'm done with all of you, even the monkeys won't come near!
  • edited July 2009
    (Guys, you are supposed to answer to an insult first and then write a new one...)
    thatdude98 wrote: »
    Arrr, by the time I'm done with all of you, even the monkeys won't come near!
    That's because even in your family no one wants to be with you.
    I'd rather go to Hell than stay in your company!
  • edited July 2009
    I wasn't answering, I really meant the comment I was replying to was disgusting. Rule number 10.

    I'm sure talk of female genitalia (and male, for that matter) counts. Unless it's a cleverly disguised innuendo, I guess.
  • edited July 2009
    I think in America a "fanny" is actually your butt.
  • edited July 2009
    PariahKing wrote: »
    I think in America a "fanny" is actually your butt.
    Wikipedia wrote:
    Fanny:
    [...]
    * A British slang term for a vagina.
    * An American slang term for the buttocks.
    [...]
    Pretty much looks like Brits and Americans are separated by a common language... discuss.

    np: Tayo - Choppa Riddim (Soul Jazz Records Singles 2008-2009 (Disc 2))
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    (Guys, you are supposed to answer to an insult first and then write a new one...)


    That's because even in your family no one wants to be with you.
    I'd rather go to Hell than stay in your company!

    Give my regards to LeChuck for me!
    How does someone so grog filled and dim even type an insult?
  • vizviz
    edited July 2009
    Leak wrote: »
    Pretty much looks like Brits and Americans are separated by a common language... discuss.

    What language is that then? ;)
    How does someone so grog filled and dim even type an insult?

    The same way someone so duck billed and grim can hype an assault!

    ---

    You need more of your goons to even out the battle!
Sign in to comment in this discussion.