Stealing your womenfolk would be easy, if you had any!
Womenfolk? Nay. Wenches? Aye. And my wenches would steal YOU if they thought anyone would actually pay the ransom.
The Carribbean Seas be my personal playground, and ye and yer ship but toys in my hands!
EDIT: IMHestofOs, Insult Swordfighting works best when the true "insult" lies in the reply, or "comeback." Ideally, the opening dis is self-aggrandizing in nauture, thus ripe for ridicule. Think of yourself and the responder as a comedy duo and try to set them up for the juiciest punchline! See above, think I left myself wide open here!
The sound of my voice makes womens' heart beat and mens' heart stop!
Oh, so you got the job after all as spokespirate for Captain Blondebeard's new "Artery Clogger Deluxe" chicken sandwich, double-deep-fried in a heapin' glob o' lard?
I'll skin ye alive, stretch yer hide into a canvas, and have the finest artiste in the tri-island area paint my portrait on it!
If you use my arse instead, you wouldn't need a painter!
And I don't particularly get this one :P In any case, I know (or I think I know, correct me if I'm wrong) an animal's hide is normally just it's skin but when people talk about the hide's of other people aren't they talking about their arses anyway? Because saying "I'll tan your hide" wouldn't have as much of a kick to it if wasn't about bottoms.
And... saying that using your arse instead of a canvas wouldn't require a painter... Do you have a nice tattoo there? Or maybe some kind of rash that seems to look like a person's face?
And... saying that using your arse instead of a canvas wouldn't require a painter... Do you have a nice tattoo there? Or maybe some kind of rash that seems to look like a person's face?
No, I'm saying that your face looks like my arse, so you wouldn't require a painter to paint a portrait of you on it since it already represents your face.
No, I'm saying that your face looks like my arse, so you wouldn't require a painter to paint a portrait of you on it since it already represents your face.
I got it, and it was definitely wittier than the first one. But this confused back and forth is even better. I guess trying to explain jokes CAN be funny!
well, if we stick to MI rules there's 1 come back to every insult but each come back can be used on multiple insults (ie, responses learned in 'practise' fights can be used in 'boss' fights). I haven't made this a rule and I'm not convinced I should, though I'm still considering it.
If it was to be a rule then this would be the correct come back but only if it won the round. I shall leave this for debate.
(I decided to do this SMI style and stick with an response already given, though I was hoping somebody might have come up with something better). (I have nothing).
It won't have to be, it's going to be wiki'd!
You've never had an intelligent thought in your life!
Comments
How appropriate, since your insults are the cheesiest I've caught.
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None have survived my onslaught!
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Your moves are as good as a grandmothers!
How appropriate, you resemble one.
You are slow as dial-up!
And yer as noisy!
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Please get off me ship, ye attract vermin.
That's your family reunion, you must be filled with chagrin!
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With a wit like yours, you couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag.
Why, do you need one? You do appear to be hyperventilating.
My cutlass will make shark chum out of you!
You're about as fearsome as a doorstop. (he-he-he)
{Is it a particularly EVIL looking doorstop?}
And you're about as fearsome as a band-aid!
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When I smell your breath, I wish Jehovas witnesses were right!
{Monkey Island has JWs too, right?
Right about what? Sorry I don't know much about the JW's as they're not allowed to come to my house on account of believing my mother is a witch.
I have heard that they believe that only 140,000 people will go to heaven (or some figure like that).
You are so weak that I could beat you with a piece of paper.
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I've seen better fightin' from my Great Grandmother!!!
Every enemy I've met I've decapitated!
JWs stereotypically believe the end of the world is just around the corner. When I smell his breath, it's so bad I wish the world would just end!
That's because you're so slow you wouldn't notice a tortoise which has been heavily sedated.
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You're the weakest whelp ever created!
Oh no! Does that mean we're related?
The Reaper wretch in disgust when he takes your soul!
Your A Disgrace to Apekind!!!
Yer a Disgrace to Slugkind!!!
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I've seen jellyfish wit' more brains then ye.
You're the least creative bohemian I've ever met.
At least my piracy means I can afford new clothes, unlike you by the smell of it!
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If your cricket were as bad as your swordsplay, you would be out for a golden duck!
At least I can tell the difference between swordplay and cricket.
Your face looks like it's been digested by a narwhal!
Stealing your womenfolk would be easy, if you had any!
Womenfolk? Nay. Wenches? Aye. And my wenches would steal YOU if they thought anyone would actually pay the ransom.
The Carribbean Seas be my personal playground, and ye and yer ship but toys in my hands!
EDIT: IMHestofOs, Insult Swordfighting works best when the true "insult" lies in the reply, or "comeback." Ideally, the opening dis is self-aggrandizing in nauture, thus ripe for ridicule. Think of yourself and the responder as a comedy duo and try to set them up for the juiciest punchline! See above, think I left myself wide open here!
How? Are you going to open a shoe outlet?
Your sword is as dangerous as a toy in your hands as well.
The sound of my voice makes womens' heart beat and mens' heart stop!
Oh, so you got the job after all as spokespirate for Captain Blondebeard's new "Artery Clogger Deluxe" chicken sandwich, double-deep-fried in a heapin' glob o' lard?
I'll skin ye alive, stretch yer hide into a canvas, and have the finest artiste in the tri-island area paint my portrait on it!
Save your trouble, my hide is ALREADY a portrait of you!
I feel sorry for your mother to have ever given you birth!
I know it's never funny when you have to explain it, but I don't get this one.
Okay, my reply sucks. Let me think of another...
If you use my arse instead, you wouldn't need a painter!
There.
Anyway;
I feel sorry for your mother to have ever given birth to you!
And... saying that using your arse instead of a canvas wouldn't require a painter... Do you have a nice tattoo there? Or maybe some kind of rash that seems to look like a person's face?
No, I'm saying that your face looks like my arse, so you wouldn't require a painter to paint a portrait of you on it since it already represents your face.
I got it, and it was definitely wittier than the first one. But this confused back and forth is even better. I guess trying to explain jokes CAN be funny!
How appropriate. Me and your mother feel sorry for giving YOU birth.
After I´m done with you, you will wish you´d be dead!
At least I'll still be alive when this battle is over!
or
True, anything is better than encountering the likes of you!
or
So that's why your girlfriend attempted suicide!
The term 'the pen is mightier than the sword' is literally correct, when you are holding the sword.
Aye, but at least me grammer be correc' in me writin's and I be usin' me commas in pro'er fashion!
What did yer last opponent die o'? Boredom?
Only after telling my stories about you.
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Your so pale, you make snow look tan in comparison. (CoMI reference)
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YER the reason this thread ain't stickied!
If it was to be a rule then this would be the correct come back but only if it won the round. I shall leave this for debate.
You've never had an intelligent thought in your life!
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You wish you were as powerful as me!
So you're still not using that deodorant I bought you for Christmas?
No, I really don't like "Eau de LeGuitarsAreBoring".
Your face remarkably resembles the back-side of a ship!
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When I'm done with you, not even your mother will be able to identify your corpse.