I did like Ātsio, he was a very fun character to write, his own sort of honour, his hunts. Perhaps, were Tobor not matched with him, they could have been comrades, even friends. Hmm interesting theory about impressing potential buyers. I can confirm that some people were indeed very very impressed with the little Westerosi boy who killed the huge hulk of a man. Although, I'm curious if Reznar is willing to part with Tobor.
[Say goodbye to Edric]
Well, this is his father we're talking about. Differences or not, he's family and I am sure if Tobor leaves withou… moret a goodbye, both are forever going to regret parting like this. Sure, he does not know yet what danger he is truly going to get into, but even then, I think it's only right to say goodbye to family before leaving forever.
[Talk to Bradon]
I got no doubt Bradon is involved in this, that shit. Thing is, confronting Reznar, what good could it bring? Worse than that, what could Tobor possibly achieve? If Reznar wants to, he could always just kill Tobor openly and nobody could do a thing to stop him. So, he ordered to give him a blunt sword, what's Tobor going to do about it? I bet he'd just admit it and then continue to think of a better way to trick Tobor next time. Bradon meanwhile, he is the tool Reznar relies on. I doubt we will get through to him, but if we manage to turn him back to Tobor's side,… [view original content]
Hey guys, just wondering if you guys enjoy having 3 choices in the same passage or whether it just makes the story a bit clunky and less flowing. Also what about a choice within a flashback?
One last thing, how do you guys like my writing in regards to the combat. That's one thing I'm unsure about, I don't know if its good, or if it just feels a bit like "and then this happened, and then this happened! and then this happened! and then THIS happened!" Any thoughts on anything? Thanks
That is very much the question, I am not sure if what we have seen of Reznar makes this a likely possibility. However, despite being a psychopathic piece of shit, I still consider him to be primarily a businessman. If Tobor manages to impress a master enough, my hope is that this master will offer enough coin to Reznar for him to accept despite his grudge. After all, that way he'd achieve his main goal of removing Tobor's influence from Tazhyn's life, as well as getting even richer in the process. Unless Tazhyn comes up with some surprise rescue plan (which you already pointed out is an unlikely step even for her), this is the best chance I see for Tobor.
All very good points.
I did like Ātsio, he was a very fun character to write, his own sort of honour, his hunts. Perhaps, were Tobor not … morematched with him, they could have been comrades, even friends. Hmm interesting theory about impressing potential buyers. I can confirm that some people were indeed very very impressed with the little Westerosi boy who killed the huge hulk of a man. Although, I'm curious if Reznar is willing to part with Tobor.
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 1
Tobor had been awake for hours. After Reznar had left the previous night, he’d had a guard posted outs… moreide Tobor’s cell that struck his cudgel on the bars every few minutes, pulling Tobor from what little sleep he managed to get in the interval between the waking. As time passed, the hour of the bat blurred into the hour of the wolf and still, Tobor got little rest.
As the sun rose in the early hours of the morning, shining over the city of the harpy, light glinted off the street and into Tobor’s little window. Tobor Hightower woke with a start, he felt awful. The guard posted must have gotten bored at some point, or been relieved, as Tobor had finally managed to sleep. Tiredness clung to him like a frightened child as he dragged himself from the straw mattress and blearily rubbed his eyes, yawning widely.
With a start of realisation, Tobor’s stomach curled up and felt like an empty pit as he remembe… [view original content]
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 1
Tobor had been awake for hours. After Reznar had left the previous night, he’d had a guard posted outs… moreide Tobor’s cell that struck his cudgel on the bars every few minutes, pulling Tobor from what little sleep he managed to get in the interval between the waking. As time passed, the hour of the bat blurred into the hour of the wolf and still, Tobor got little rest.
As the sun rose in the early hours of the morning, shining over the city of the harpy, light glinted off the street and into Tobor’s little window. Tobor Hightower woke with a start, he felt awful. The guard posted must have gotten bored at some point, or been relieved, as Tobor had finally managed to sleep. Tiredness clung to him like a frightened child as he dragged himself from the straw mattress and blearily rubbed his eyes, yawning widely.
With a start of realisation, Tobor’s stomach curled up and felt like an empty pit as he remembe… [view original content]
The three choices worked well, didn't take away from the part at all. I enjoyed the combat! Though I understand what you're saying, I constantly fear that's how my writing appears.
Hey guys, just wondering if you guys enjoy having 3 choices in the same passage or whether it just makes the story a bit clunky and less flo… morewing. Also what about a choice within a flashback?
One last thing, how do you guys like my writing in regards to the combat. That's one thing I'm unsure about, I don't know if its good, or if it just feels a bit like "and then this happened, and then this happened! and then this happened! and then THIS happened!" Any thoughts on anything? Thanks
The Night is dark and full of Terrors
Tobor would regret it forever if he didn't as others have mentioned but I also feel like it could be in his innermost thoughts that his father may ask him to stay and while we know that won't happen Tobor doesn't! =p
[Talk to Reznar]
Making peace with Reznar, even if the intention of speaking with the man is to confront him about the blunted weapon, is essential. I think by talking to Reznar they might be able to make an uneasy peace since the Wise Master may not want to war against his daughter, and keep losing good money making gladiators.
[Throw the Sword Away]
This goes back to my previous answer, in that making Reznar somewhat happy will do good things for Tobor in the long run. If he ravishes this obviously skilled Glad by beheading without permission, who sold out the entire coliseum Reznar is less inclined to do anything but attempt to kill Tobor. In the arena or in his cell.
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 1
Tobor had been awake for hours. After Reznar had left the previous night, he’d had a guard posted outs… moreide Tobor’s cell that struck his cudgel on the bars every few minutes, pulling Tobor from what little sleep he managed to get in the interval between the waking. As time passed, the hour of the bat blurred into the hour of the wolf and still, Tobor got little rest.
As the sun rose in the early hours of the morning, shining over the city of the harpy, light glinted off the street and into Tobor’s little window. Tobor Hightower woke with a start, he felt awful. The guard posted must have gotten bored at some point, or been relieved, as Tobor had finally managed to sleep. Tiredness clung to him like a frightened child as he dragged himself from the straw mattress and blearily rubbed his eyes, yawning widely.
With a start of realisation, Tobor’s stomach curled up and felt like an empty pit as he remembe… [view original content]
[Say Goodbye to Edric]
Tobor would regret it forever if he didn't as others have mentioned but I also feel like it could be in his innerm… moreost thoughts that his father may ask him to stay and while we know that won't happen Tobor doesn't! =p
[Talk to Reznar]
Making peace with Reznar, even if the intention of speaking with the man is to confront him about the blunted weapon, is essential. I think by talking to Reznar they might be able to make an uneasy peace since the Wise Master may not want to war against his daughter, and keep losing good money making gladiators.
[Throw the Sword Away]
This goes back to my previous answer, in that making Reznar somewhat happy will do good things for Tobor in the long run. If he ravishes this obviously skilled Glad by beheading without permission, who sold out the entire coliseum Reznar is less inclined to do anything but attempt to kill Tobor. In the arena or in his cell.
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 1
Tobor had been awake for hours. After Reznar had left the previous night, he’d had a guard posted outs… moreide Tobor’s cell that struck his cudgel on the bars every few minutes, pulling Tobor from what little sleep he managed to get in the interval between the waking. As time passed, the hour of the bat blurred into the hour of the wolf and still, Tobor got little rest.
As the sun rose in the early hours of the morning, shining over the city of the harpy, light glinted off the street and into Tobor’s little window. Tobor Hightower woke with a start, he felt awful. The guard posted must have gotten bored at some point, or been relieved, as Tobor had finally managed to sleep. Tiredness clung to him like a frightened child as he dragged himself from the straw mattress and blearily rubbed his eyes, yawning widely.
With a start of realisation, Tobor’s stomach curled up and felt like an empty pit as he remembe… [view original content]
Tobor will [Say Goodbye to Edric], [Talk to Bradon] and [Send a Message]
I'm surprised about the vote to Send a Message, I would have guessed most of you wouldn't want Tobor to decapitate one of his already dead opponents as it is quite a dishonourable thing to do, even if it will be a huge middle finger to Reznar. I would have chosen to send a message but still, Tobor will regret it a bit. Talking to Bradon/Reznar was another one that I wasn't to sure about, even now I don't know which I'd do. Most likely Bradon since Reznar is a risk since hes powerful, and its more likely that Bradon was involved than Reznar.
Next part is almost done, perhaps two or three days until I post it (Edit: actually probably more like 1 day, this part is going quick!). Tobor says goodbye to his father and confronts Bradon about the sword in the next part. Can't wait!
Ok. But does he need permission to kill his opponent in a battle to the death? I don't recall him looking at rheznar for a sign to kill his opponent last time. Edit: Well the voting is closed now anyway so forget it.
No, fighting pits are not like gladiator fights in the sense that fighters don't need permission to kill their opponents. It's just a fight to the death.
Ok. But does he need permission to kill his opponent in a battle to the death? I don't recall him looking at rheznar for a sign to kill his opponent last time. Edit: Well the voting is closed now anyway so forget it.
Fuck Reznar, Tobor thought, here’s your hunt Master. With that thought he raised the shortsword high above his head. His chest burned with pain, his hand throbbed from the wound and his cheek hurt like seven hells but Tobor Hightower found the strength to bring down the blade with all his might onto the partially severed head of Ātsio hen Gryves. The edge of the sword sheered through bone, sinew and muscle; causing blood to leak slowly into the already drenched sand.
The Bear’s head fell to the sand and rolled onto it’s side, it’s broken face holding glassy eyes that stared towards the Master’s box. Tobor stepped forwards and grasped the scalp of the severed head. He looked at the beaten, broken and bloody face that used to be Ātsio hen Gryves and raised it high into the air. Holding it aloft, Tobor showed the crowd the head and listened to their cries. It was an ugly mix of cheers and cries for Tobor’s own head.
Tobor switched his grip to hold the braid of hair. Like a flail, Tobor swung the head around once, blood leaping from the neck, and let go. The head flew towards the Master’s box and landed. It bounced and rolled coming to a standstill, yards from Reznar. The Master was stood up now, distraught at Tobor’s defiance. Tazhyn sat frozen still, Tobor didn’t know if it was anger, sadness or shock.
With no response from anyone in the box, Tobor stumbled away towards the door to the exit. It was open and inside Tobor could see Miro’s familiar golden eyes. As he struggled to the door he heard the crowd chanting, “Arghurys. Arghurys.” Over and over again. He mumbled to himself, “W-what do you mean?” But nobody heard. The boy limped through the doorway and collapsed into Miro’s arms who caught him with a gasp of pain from both boys. Tobor Hightower saw the ceiling of the weapons room. Then black.
“Well? Will you talk to father?” Kallum asked. Tobor groaned, “Kal, I’m sorry I need to go, the ship leaves soon.” Kallum furrowed his eyebrows, “Tobor…” He said warningly. Tobor sighed, “Very well, I will talk to him.” He said begrudgingly. Kallum clapped him on the shoulder, “There you go, that wasn’t so hard, was it? He asked. Tobor rolled his eyes, “This wasn’t the hard part.” He muttered beneath his breath.
Edwin piped up, “If you wee off the wall will it turn into icicles and hit people?” He pondered philosophically. Tobor and Kallum laughed, “Only if the Others are there. Careful or they’ll eat you up and turn you into a little ice monster!” Kallum growled playfully. Edwin squealed and ran off as Kallum chased him yelling about the Long Night.
Mace turned around at the noise and scowled, “Kallum, if you aren’t going to train your skills like I told you to, at least keep quiet while I practice.” He ordered. Kallum stuck his tongue out and flipped his middle finger up before continuing chasing Edwin. Mace sighed exasperatedly and strolled up to Tobor.
“Hello brother, how are you?” He asked. Tobor smiled, that was unusually polite for Mace. “I’m alright thanks. Mace, I have something to tell you.” Tobor said. Mace cut him off briskly, “I know, you’re leaving. I heard you.” He said. Tobor looked surprised. “Oh, but I thought you were training.” He asked. Mace nodded, “I was. But a good leader should always be aware of what’s going on around him.” He said tersely.
Mace had been this way for most of Tobor’s life. He was a born leader, commanding respect and fear from all who served with him. Tobor nodded, “Mace listen, I know you probably think I’m running or abandoning you but…” Mace interrupted, “No of course not Tobor. The Night’s Watch is an ancient order that you will find honour in. I regret that we will not fight together but I am not father. You must find your own path in life, not one that father orders you on.” He said. Tobor was taken aback, Mace was never this supportive of anything Tobor had done.
Mace had been an arse Tobor’s whole life; he was stubborn, rude and always distant with him. Tobor was confused but pleased. “Thank you, Mace, I appreciate that.” He said cautiously. Mace nodded quickly. “I hope to see you again Tobor, perhaps we will meet one day.” He said bluntly. Tobor held out his hand for Mace to shake. The two brothers grasped hands. “Good fortune in the Riverlands, Mace.” Tobor said.
The two brothers walked away from each other. Mace to continue training, and Tobor to see his father. Tobor had little time so ran through the cobbled streets of Oldtown. He dashed through the crowds of traders, sailors, whores, novices who were studying at the Citadel to become Maesters and myriads of other people. Tobor turned a corner and ran into a solid metal wall of armour. Crashing off the person Tobor raced to apologise. “Ah Tobor.” Said the armoured man. “Off somewhere in a hurry, are we?”
“Sorry Ser Moryn, I didn’t see you. Please excuse me.” Tobor said. Ser Moryn Tyrell, the Commander of Oldtown’s city watch shook his head, “No matter, where are you headed?” He asked. “I’m looking for my father, do you know where he is?” Tobor responded. Ser Moryn stroked his beard. “Hmm, I heard he was at the Citadel talking to Archmaester Walgrave on the Bloody Isle. But that was a half hour ago. Many and much could have changed. I hope you find him.” He said kindly. “Thank you, Ser. I suppose I ought to bid you farewell also. I leave to join the Night’s Watch soon.” Tobor said.
“Is that so? I wish you luck there. Many a brave man would cower at the thought of the Wall, and wildlings. It would be a fair sight colder in your Watch than mine!” He joked. Tobor chuckled, “That it will be. And all is well with you?” He asked. Ser Moryn frowned. “My son, Leo, is still messing around at the Citadel and lives for gambling. Why he’s still wasting his time there when he could be squiring for a knight or something like that, I don’t know. If only he hadn’t been confined to the Citadel for… Well you don’t want to hear about that. I expect you’re busy. When do you leave for the Watch?” He asked.
“About now, actually, I wanted to speak with my father before I left. I hope I don’t miss the ship.” He worried. Ser Moryn winked, “I don’t have much else to do here, why don’t I go and make sure your ship stays firmly in the dock until you’re good and ready.” He promised. What’s she called?”
“The Stag’s Fury, thank you Ser Moryn. Seven blessings.” Tobor smiled. Ser Moryn clapped him on the shoulder, “And to you, a good voyage to you and The Stag’s Fury! Farewell Tobor Hightower, serve well at the Wall.” He said. Tobor waved as Ser Moryn ambled away to the docks, the boy continued to the Citadel up the river road winding behind the Honeywine. The path took him through the heart of the old city until he saw the Citadel.
Tobor had seen the Citadel many times before; he’d had those gates staring down at him many times before. The gates were guarded by two sphinxes, one with the face of a man, the other a woman. Eagled-winged, bodies of lions and serpent tails. Tobor strolled through the gates, nodding to scribes he recognized. Tobor passed the statue in the likeness of King Daeron the First, the Young Dragon who conquered Dorne, bringing it into the Seven Kingdoms where Aegon the Conqueror had failed. When told Aegon had dragons and failed to conquer Dorne, he famously replied, “You have a dragon. He stands before you.”
Tobor took the left fork of the path that led him aside the river. When he reached the Weeping Dock he paid the acolyte a stag to transfer him across the river for the short voyage to the Bloody Isle. Tobor thanked the acolyte and exited the boat, walking the path to the building on the middle of the isle.
Tobor entered the building, proceeding to Archmaester Walgrave’s office. Once there he knocked on the door once and sat on the bench outside. Walgrave was a nice man, but frightfully forgetful, old and more comfortable with ravens than people. After a matter of minutes, the door was unbolted and creaked open. Archmaester Walgrave’s white whiskers poked out and he saw Tobor. His face lit up, “Ah Baelor. Very good to see you again, h-how is Rhonda?” He asked, believing Tobor to be his father’s brother, Baelor.
Tobor, not wanting to waste time, didn’t correct Walgrave. “She’s fine, Archmaester. I was wondering if you knew where my brother Edric was? I heard you were talking to him.” Tobor asked. Walgrave mumbled a bit, stroking his whiskers. “I-I believe he went to see Archmaester Ebrose, something about sending a raven to Qarth, something about an apology, or saying sorry. My apologies, Baelor, my mind is not as strong as it used to be. A mind is like a sword, the old ones go rusty.” He said.
Tobor laughed, “No need to apologise Archmaester, thank you for your help.” Walgrave mumbled goodbye and returned to his office. Tobor left to seek out Archmaester Ebrose. On the way he passed his uncle Humfrey who smiled at him. “Sorry Tobor I have no time to talk now, good luck at the Wall. Make House Hightower proud!” Tobor thanked him as he rushed away. Tobor stopped outside Ebrose’s office just as his father exited, talking to Ebrose.
Edric Hightower was a tall man, built fairly thin but muscular. He had dark golden hair, streaked with grey that fell to his shoulders. Blue kind eyes had become bloodshot and angry since his hunting accident, the effects of milk of the poppy. Edric was slightly hunched over and he looked weak, with a twitching right hand. His sallow skin was stretched tight over his sharp cheap bones with a sickly hue. “Just send the raven then, you old fool. I don’t care what they say. I paid a lot of dragons for this. They will change the location of…” Edric was saying.
When he saw Tobor, he stopped talking, looked surprised and waved away the Maester he was talking to. “Tobor. I hadn’t thought to see you here.” He said abruptly. Tobor sighed and forced a smile. “I came to say goodbye, father.” He said. Edric frowned. “Where are you going?”
Tobor took a deep breath. “I’m going to join the Night’s Watch, I bring you dishonour by not continuing my squiring at King’s Landing and since I am not wanted here I will leave for the Wall. I do not wish to argue about this, there is a ship, the Stag’s Fury, waiting.” Edric looked furious. “It’s that bastard Gethrys, isn’t it? He’s put ideas of grandeur in your tiny little head, hasn’t he?” He barked. Tobor shook his head. “He put no ideas in my head, I believe the Watch is the place for me.” He said.
“Well you’ve got one thing right, you do dishonour me. If only you’d stayed in King’s Landing. Everything would be fine.” He said bitterly. The effects of constant milk of the poppy were clear.
Tobor let none of his hurt show in his face. “Very well Edric. I should go now. If mother could see what you’ve become then she’d curse you.” He said cooly. Anger flashed in Edric’s bloodshot eyes. “Careful Tobor, I loved Fraya, but she would understand the things I do, the things I’ve done. She would.” He said angrily. Tobor scoffed and turned to walk away. “Goodbye Edric.” He said as he walked away. Tobor could hear his father tell Ebrose to send another letter, the boy felt tears spring to his eyes. Edric didn’t care. He was right back to business after telling his son that he dishonoured Edric.
The journey to the docks passed in a blur, Tobor paid no attention to the Young Dragon statue, or the Gates to the Citadel, or the Sailor’s sept and Starry Sept. All he could think of was the anger in Edric’s eyes. Reaching the docks, he saw Gethrys stood with his arms folded, leaning against a post while talking with Ser Moryn.
“Come on Gethrys let’s go.” Tobor said quickly. “Thanks Ser Moryn, farewell.” He said. The commander waved him off and winked at him. Gethrys said goodbye and then put a hand on the back of Tobor as they walked up the gangplank to the Stag’s Fury. “Everything alright Tobor?” The boy nodded.
As the Stag’s Fury was untied from it’s moorings and set adrift. Tobor Hightower stood at the stern of the ship, staring back at the city of Oldtown sprawled in front of him. He could see the Starry Sept, the Citadel and rising up from the centre; the majestic Hightower.
“Just as the High Tower rises in the sky and it’s flame shines out to every ship in a stormy sea. We must rise and light the way for all men. We light the way.” Tobor muttered to himself. As the ship sailed on, Oldtown became smaller, eventually the city disappeared, the tower disappeared. All that remained was the small yellow dot, that was the beacon. A minute later; the beacon, too, was gone.
Tobor woke with a groan, he was back in his cell. Looking down he could see his entire torso was strapped up with linen bandages, some stained red. With a start he realised he could only see out of one eye. Tobor panicked. Was he blind? He sat up quickly, immediately feeling a tightness in the wounds on his chest. He put a hand up to his eye, then sighed in relief as he felt a bandage over it. Panic subsided as he deduced it was for the wound on his cheek. He removed the bandage from over his eye, the linen stuck to the wound on his cheek, so Tobor wrapped it around his head once more. But so it didn’t restrict his sight.
Looking at his hand he turned it over, it was bandaged around the palm. Tobor wondered if there would be a hole in his hand after it healed. He looked out of the window. It was dark. Tobor wondered how long he’d been asleep, and who’d bandaged him. It couldn’t have been Tazhyn could it? Reznar wouldn’t have let her.
Tobor stood up and paced around the room. He needed to see Bradon. That bastard had set him up to die. But how could Tobor get to Bradon? He was stuck in this cell. Bradon was supposed to live in this cell too, but Tobor hadn’t seen Bradon in this cell for weeks now. He’d most likely been moved. Tobor’s only chance was to wait for Miro.
Tobor walked to the door of his cell, and looked up and down the hallway. There was nobody there except for a guard. Perhaps he could help, Tobor thought. “Hello, excuse me Ser. Can I talk to you a second?” Tobor asked. The guard looked at Tobor, then sighed. “What do you want?” He asked, bored. “I wanted to see if you could take me somewhere.” Tobor asked hesitantly, this guard could just beat him for asking such a question but this was urgent. “What am I? Your fucking squire?” the guard asked.
“No, no of course not. I don’t want to cause offense Ser. I just wanted to see another slave, I think he would be in the quarters where the slaves who work in weapons room are.” Tobor said politely. “Hmm, that’s not far from here. There aren’t many of them so they all sleep by the cleaning slaves. But why should I do a damn thing for you?” The guard asked. “I-I don’t know. Listen, this other slave tried to kill me. I need to talk to him.” Tobor said desperately, trying one last time.
The guard snorted, “So you want me to take you somewhere so you can cause trouble by killing another slave!” he laughed. “Why the fuck would I do that?” Tobor protested. “No I don’t want to kill him, just talk.” He said. The guard nodded sarcastically, “Of course. Now, I’m not going to beat you halfway back to Westeros because you’re funny. But shut the fuck up if you know what’s good for you.” Tobor resigned to defeat, and sat on his bed. The guard faced away from the cell.
Tobor looked at the guard, he had his cudgel and keys in his belt. Tobor could easily sneak up behind, grab the cudgel, whip it around the guard’s throat and pull until he stopped breathing, then take the keys and leave. It would be so easy. Tobor stood up slowly. He started walking quietly towards the guard. Easy does it, Tobor. He thought. Slow and quiet.
Just a foot away from the guard now, Tobor slipped a hand through the bar.
“Arghurys! This is where you live little man!” Came a booming voice. The guard jumped and drew his cudgel. Tobor withdrew his hand and leapt backwards, startled. “Stop there, Se Dyni.” The guard stuttered. “Piss off, Dakloz. This is my friend.” The Beast said. Tobor grinned. Friend? He thought. The guard looked between Tobor and the Beast.
“Are you pissing my friend off, Dakloz?” The Beast growled. Dakloz whimpered. “No, I-I’ll tell Herazal about you.” He moaned. The Beast laughed. “Herazal is in the pit, I saw him go myself. I do hope I face him, I’m sure he tastes like beef.” He smiled at Dakloz. Tobor rested his elbows on the bars. “Now, Dakloz, I was wondering. Would you be happy to take me where we were discussing before my friend arrived?” He asked charismatically. Dakloz scowled at Tobor, then looked at the Beast and all fight fled his eyes. “Yes.” He said nervously.
The guard let Tobor out of his cell and told Tobor to follow him. The Beast elected to join them, when asked why, he replied Tobor was more interesting than beating down someone he called Bloodsong. “That prick always annoyed me, twirling around like a little girl. He’s lucky he never fought me. I’d kill him then eat him.” The Beast promised.
Tobor grinned, “Earlier, why did you call me Arghurys? Ātsio hen Gryves said it a lot in the pit.” The Beast slapped his belly. “I would have liked to face Ātsio in the pit. He was worthy enemy. The finest fighter I have seen in many years. Except Amaya of course. It is a great surprise that you have beaten him. I was certain you would be dead.” He said roughly. Tobor frowned, “Thank you. I think. But why did you call me Arghurys?” He asked.
“Arghurys in Low Valyrian means a hunter. Ātsio hen Gryves means Tooth of the Bear and he calls every person he fights his hunter. He has faced ninety people so you would have been his ninetieth hunter maybe.”
“No, he said seventy-nine. So, I’m Jēnqῑblie Arghurys, that’s what he called me. That’s eightieth hunter, isn’t it?” Tobor asked. The Beast nodded his tattooed bald head. “After other pit fighters heard that you killed Ātsio we all call you Arghurys. Because you are the first hunter to kill your prey.” He said. Tobor smiled, “Arghurys. The Hunter. I like it. Just wait until my brother hears this.” The Beast laughed.
The guard turned around and told them that the weapon room slaves were held here, he pointed to a corridor of cells. The Beast and Tobor walked down the corridor looking for Bradon. “He’s the one that was in the weapons room that day.” Tobor explained. They found his cell, he was asleep. Tobor told the guard to unlock the door. Dakloz did so, and then retreated down the corridor.
“I’ll stay here. After you’ve killed him, please come straight back. I’ll see if you don’t.” He said. “I’m not going to kill him.” Tobor replied firmly.
Tobor took a deep breath, unsure of what he was going to say. He opened the door and went inside, the Beast followed. Tobor shut the door behind him with a loud clang. Bradon sat bolt upright. “Tobor!” He said, surprised. “Hello Bradon, it is a surprise to see you.” Tobor said dryly.
Bradon stood up, “Who’s your… friend?” He asked anxiously. “His name’s the Beast. He eats people who annoy him. Don’t you?” Tobor said. The Beast nodded and licked his lips. Bradon went to talk. “No!” Tobor shouted. “This isn’t how this is going to go. You tried to kill me Bradon.” He said accusingly. Tobor’s anger was filling up inside him.
Bradon looked shocked. “Tobor, I didn’t do anything.” He said weakly. Tobor had had enough. He pointed to his chest, hand and eye. “This is what you’ve done, you’re unlucky that I survived it because I know it was you. Perhaps you did it on Reznar’s orders, perhaps you’re bitter about your hand. Well look, we’re matching now.” He ripped the bandage off his left hand, showing Bradon the ugly wound. There wasn’t a hole in his hand, but it was a red raw mess on his palm. Bradon winced, “Tobor I know you’re upset but I have to protest. I did nothing!” He said.
Tobor shouted in anger. He grabbed Bradon by the throat with his good hand and pushed him backward, slamming him against the wall. “Bradon I know you did it!” he yelled. “You sort out the weapons for the fights, I know you do. I saw you doing it before. And so did he. I can’t believe you’d betray me. I can’t believe you’d try to kill me for your own freedom. That’s what Reznar promised you wasn’t it? He promised you freedom.” Tears sprang to Tobor’s eyes now, he wiped them away angrily.
Bradon looked away from Tobor. He looked down at the ground. “Yes.” He whispered. Tobor let go, struck by the word as if with a hammer. He’d suspected, he’d known it, but the confirmation hurt like a thousand swords. “Bradon. Why?” He said simply. Bradon hung his head.
“It started about after Herazal cut my fingers off. I was marched to Reznar’s office and when I got in there, Reznar was sat with some Westerosi. I couldn’t see much of his face, he wore a hood. He and Reznar told me that they wanted you dead, and that I would help or I would die. Reznar said that you couldn’t be killed outside of the pit, because his daughter is sweet on you or some shit like that. So, you had to be killed in the pit. They said that the hooded man had paid Reznar a lot of gold to kill you, and that if you died, I would be set free. I think that’s what you overheard yesterday.
“On the night before the fight against the dothraki I was supposed to put a slow acting potion in your food, that disorientates and confuses the drinker. But I didn’t, and because of that they beat and whipped me.” Bradon turned around and showed Tobor his back, angry red lines crossed over his back, half healed. When Tobor made no reply, he continued.
“I’ve been receiving notes from the hooded man, at least I think it’s from him. If it was Reznar he would just talk to me, wouldn’t he? I think that the hooded man is in charge of Reznar, and I don’t think he completely trusts him. Because Reznar wasn’t aware of the plan for... for when you fought Ātsio hen Gryves.”
Tobor interrupted, “What’s in the notes?” He asked. “Instructions mainly; ‘do this’, ‘do that’, ‘swap his weapon in his next fight’. I reported to him and told him everything that happened. I told him when you found out I could be set free, I told him when I heard about the incident last night. I wake up and there's a message. Then I write my response and leave it on the window then by the time I get back from my duties it's gone.”
“So, you haven’t seen him since the first time?” Tobor asked. Bradon nodded. “That’s right, he only uses messages. I sent one to him this morning.” He said. Tobor swore, “What did it say?”
“I told him you’d survived the pit, and asked him what to do.” Bradon said. Tobor ran a hand through his long, dirty hair. “Do you know why the hooded man wants to kill me?” Tobor asked. “I don’t know, only that he thinks it is worth a lot of gold.” Bradon replied.
“Wait, did you say that Reznar didn’t know about the sword being swapped?” Tobor said. Bradon shook his head, “The note came directly to me. I assumed Reznar knew, but after the fight, once I’d sent my note I was taken to his office and he asked me what I’d done. Once I’d explained that it was the hooded man he was angry and let me go, so I assume he’s angry at the hooded man.”
Tobor nodded. The Beast looked at him. “Arghurys, this little man has betrayed you, shall I kill him for you?” Bradon looked shocked, “No Tobor, you can’t kill me. Please, I only did this so I can be free and see my wife and little boy again.”
Tobor grew angry, “So my life is worth the chance for you to see your family? And what about my family Bradon?” He demanded. “You know that’s not what I meant.” Bradon retorted. Tobor laughed bitterly, “I thought I knew that you were my friend once, Bradon. I thought that you wouldn’t betray me and we would survive slavery together. But I don’t know what I know anymore.” He said.
Bradon sighed, “I only meant…” Tobor interrupted, “What did you mean? I’m less important than you?” Bradon shook his head, “No, I didn’t…”
“I trusted you! You were my friend. You’ve tried to kill me. And you’ll try to kill me again in the future unless I stop this now.” Tobor shouted. Bradon put both his hands up in front of him. “Tobor, calm down, little brother. Don’t act rashly.” He warned. “No! You do not call me little brother. Not anymore!” Tobor screamed.
The Beast walked forwards and grabbed Bradon by the throat, hoisting him off his feet and smashing him back against the wall. “Say the word little man and I will crush the life from him.” He snarled.
“No, Tobor, there’ll be a message tonight. Here. Soon. With my instructions. You need me alive for it.” Bradon choked. Tobor was silent, petrified. He could sentence Bradon to death. He deserved it, but Tobor didn’t know if he could do it. “Little man, what do you want?” The Beast asked. “Tobor, f-forgive me.” Bradon pleaded.
Tobor stuttered.
[Forgive him] [Crush his Throat] [Don’t Forgive him]
[Don't forgive him] As much as I love when Tobor goes dark, I can't vote to kill Bradon, but neither has he earned forgiveness. So I think Tobor should just leave. Focus on his true enemy.
A Westerosi that wants Tobor dead? I can't think of anyone who'd have such a grudge against him. But I love a good mystery!
EDIT: I'm beginning to worry that we might've ruined Tobor and Tazhyn's relationship.
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 2
Fuck Reznar, Tobor thought, here’s your hunt Master. With that thought he raised the shortsword high a… morebove his head. His chest burned with pain, his hand throbbed from the wound and his cheek hurt like seven hells but Tobor Hightower found the strength to bring down the blade with all his might onto the partially severed head of Ātsio hen Gryves. The edge of the sword sheered through bone, sinew and muscle; causing blood to leak slowly into the already drenched sand.
The Bear’s head fell to the sand and rolled onto it’s side, it’s broken face holding glassy eyes that stared towards the Master’s box. Tobor stepped forwards and grasped the scalp of the severed head. He looked at the beaten, broken and bloody face that used to be Ātsio hen Gryves and raised it high into the air. Holding it aloft, Tobor showed the crowd the head and listened to their cries. It was an ugly mix of cheers and cries for Tobor’… [view original content]
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 2
Fuck Reznar, Tobor thought, here’s your hunt Master. With that thought he raised the shortsword high a… morebove his head. His chest burned with pain, his hand throbbed from the wound and his cheek hurt like seven hells but Tobor Hightower found the strength to bring down the blade with all his might onto the partially severed head of Ātsio hen Gryves. The edge of the sword sheered through bone, sinew and muscle; causing blood to leak slowly into the already drenched sand.
The Bear’s head fell to the sand and rolled onto it’s side, it’s broken face holding glassy eyes that stared towards the Master’s box. Tobor stepped forwards and grasped the scalp of the severed head. He looked at the beaten, broken and bloody face that used to be Ātsio hen Gryves and raised it high into the air. Holding it aloft, Tobor showed the crowd the head and listened to their cries. It was an ugly mix of cheers and cries for Tobor’… [view original content]
The hooded man is actually a future version of Tobor from the year 4578 who travels back in time to murder Tobor before he can make the mistake of telling Jon Snow a fact so that Jon Snow, does in fact, know something. Jokes aside, I'm really looking forward to telling this story!
Hmm, yes Tazhyn isn't too happy with Tobor at the moment. Not sure if they'll reconcile but Tobor definitely wants to
[Don't forgive him] As much as I love when Tobor goes dark, I can't vote to kill Bradon, but neither has he earned forgiveness. So I think T… moreobor should just leave. Focus on his true enemy.
A Westerosi that wants Tobor dead? I can't think of anyone who'd have such a grudge against him. But I love a good mystery!
EDIT: I'm beginning to worry that we might've ruined Tobor and Tazhyn's relationship.
There are some things you can't forgive [Don’t Forgive him] we still should not kill him. Those handicaps only make Tobor stronger. Also Tobor is gonna be a walking scar when he comes free.
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 2
Fuck Reznar, Tobor thought, here’s your hunt Master. With that thought he raised the shortsword high a… morebove his head. His chest burned with pain, his hand throbbed from the wound and his cheek hurt like seven hells but Tobor Hightower found the strength to bring down the blade with all his might onto the partially severed head of Ātsio hen Gryves. The edge of the sword sheered through bone, sinew and muscle; causing blood to leak slowly into the already drenched sand.
The Bear’s head fell to the sand and rolled onto it’s side, it’s broken face holding glassy eyes that stared towards the Master’s box. Tobor stepped forwards and grasped the scalp of the severed head. He looked at the beaten, broken and bloody face that used to be Ātsio hen Gryves and raised it high into the air. Holding it aloft, Tobor showed the crowd the head and listened to their cries. It was an ugly mix of cheers and cries for Tobor’… [view original content]
There are some things you can't forgive [Don’t Forgive him] we still should not kill him. Those handicaps only make Tobor stronger. Also Tobor is gonna be a walking scar when he comes free.
Well he already got two wounds that will defenitly become scars and I imagine those wont be the last he gets. I can already imagine how badass he will become when he is grown up. If Tobor ever wants to loose the awsome name the hunter ( I don't know why he would) he could propably easily establish the walking scar as his nickname.
Just while the vote for this section is going on, I was wondering if people would be interested in my introducing multiple POV characters? The thing is, more characters mean more stories going on and I think that would be a lot more fun to read than just one person. Next part there's actually a small POV from someone else and that was originally going to be a one off, but if people want more than I could start introducing multiple POV characters.
What is everyone's opinions on this? It'll mean my writing slows down for a little while, as I work out storylines for them all. But in the long run it could be a better story for it.
If you think you'll have more fun writing different characters I say go for it. It's pretty standard for Game of Thrones but overall I think it should come down to your own feelings. Perhaps try it for a bit and see how you like it and then make your final decision after that.
Just while the vote for this section is going on, I was wondering if people would be interested in my introducing multiple POV characters? T… morehe thing is, more characters mean more stories going on and I think that would be a lot more fun to read than just one person. Next part there's actually a small POV from someone else and that was originally going to be a one off, but if people want more than I could start introducing multiple POV characters.
What is everyone's opinions on this? It'll mean my writing slows down for a little while, as I work out storylines for them all. But in the long run it could be a better story for it.
Thoughts?
If you think you'll have more fun writing different characters I say go for it. It's pretty standard for Game of Thrones but overall I think… more it should come down to your own feelings. Perhaps try it for a bit and see how you like it and then make your final decision after that.
Just while the vote for this section is going on, I was wondering if people would be interested in my introducing multiple POV characters? T… morehe thing is, more characters mean more stories going on and I think that would be a lot more fun to read than just one person. Next part there's actually a small POV from someone else and that was originally going to be a one off, but if people want more than I could start introducing multiple POV characters.
What is everyone's opinions on this? It'll mean my writing slows down for a little while, as I work out storylines for them all. But in the long run it could be a better story for it.
Thoughts?
So in this next part would you prefer it if instead of POV the character just tells Tobor what happens instead?
At the moment a character will go and do something, and I was going to write it from their point of view. Should I just have it so the character comes and tells Tobor what's going on? Would you rather that?
I very much agree with what Agent has said on the matter. Bradon shouldn't be killed for his actions, even if that might be the safest option for Tobor, but well, forgiveness is nothing that should be granted just like that. If he is honest about this, he can earn forgiveness, but I don't want to let him off the hook so easily. If he means what he says, he can earn it though, but well, that is going to be quite some work.
And damn it, just as I warmed up to Tazhyn, can it be we really soured her opinion on Tobor already? That was not at all what I had thought of when picking that choice, but in retrospect, it is something I absolutely should have seen coming Can't even blame her, Tobor was super brutal there. Might have been good for him and badass, but surely nothing that improves her opinion on him. We might have to be more careful there, because as long as she remains on Tobor's side, he has a chance. If she stops liking him due to our choices, well, let's just say at the moment she is the only one that prevents Reznar from just killing him and getting it over with.
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 2
Fuck Reznar, Tobor thought, here’s your hunt Master. With that thought he raised the shortsword high a… morebove his head. His chest burned with pain, his hand throbbed from the wound and his cheek hurt like seven hells but Tobor Hightower found the strength to bring down the blade with all his might onto the partially severed head of Ātsio hen Gryves. The edge of the sword sheered through bone, sinew and muscle; causing blood to leak slowly into the already drenched sand.
The Bear’s head fell to the sand and rolled onto it’s side, it’s broken face holding glassy eyes that stared towards the Master’s box. Tobor stepped forwards and grasped the scalp of the severed head. He looked at the beaten, broken and bloody face that used to be Ātsio hen Gryves and raised it high into the air. Holding it aloft, Tobor showed the crowd the head and listened to their cries. It was an ugly mix of cheers and cries for Tobor’… [view original content]
I don't think agent wants to kill bradon, he voted the same as you! I agree with you anyhow, forgiveness shouldn't just be handed out.
haha, poor Tazhyn. Just as liquid started to like her! Yeah Tobor didn't stop to consider what she might think about him because of what he did. Yes, lets hope Tazhyn doesn't go running to Reznar about it, Tobor could find himself in another sticky situation
[Don’t Forgive him]
I very much agree with what Agent has said on the matter. Bradon shouldn't be killed for his actions, even if that mi… moreght be the safest option for Tobor, but well, forgiveness is nothing that should be granted just like that. If he is honest about this, he can earn forgiveness, but I don't want to let him off the hook so easily. If he means what he says, he can earn it though, but well, that is going to be quite some work.
And damn it, just as I warmed up to Tazhyn, can it be we really soured her opinion on Tobor already? That was not at all what I had thought of when picking that choice, but in retrospect, it is something I absolutely should have seen coming Can't even blame her, Tobor was super brutal there. Might have been good for him and badass, but surely nothing that improves her opinion on him. We might have to be more careful there, because as long as she remains on Tobor's side, he has a chance. If she stop… [view original content]
Well, I am a big fan of multiple PoV's. I do enjoy Tobor very much and think he should remain the main PoV, as you surely intend as well, but multiple PoV's can really help with telling the story you want to tell. Like, having another PoV to tell events Tobor cannot be there to witness, or to support Tobor's viewpoint by fleshing out the situation around him, or by further developing certain characters you wish to portray in a different light. One PoV has its advantages, but at the same time, there are disadvantages and in the end, they outweigh these advantages in my opinion. So, if you want multiple PoV's, go for it, you have my fullest support on this
Just while the vote for this section is going on, I was wondering if people would be interested in my introducing multiple POV characters? T… morehe thing is, more characters mean more stories going on and I think that would be a lot more fun to read than just one person. Next part there's actually a small POV from someone else and that was originally going to be a one off, but if people want more than I could start introducing multiple POV characters.
What is everyone's opinions on this? It'll mean my writing slows down for a little while, as I work out storylines for them all. But in the long run it could be a better story for it.
Thoughts?
Haha, I know, that's why I agree with him. Maybe I have worded this a bit confusingly, but I agree that Bradon should not be killed and neither forgiven so easily
And well, now it took me so long to warm up to that girl when she's been perfectly genuine in her motivations all along and just then a careless choice possibly crushes these intentions. That is... I don't even... that is the worst luck At the same time, I hope she realizes what trouble it will cause if she tells her father about this. Though I just had to think, she doesn't actually know that Reznar tries to kill Tobor, right?
I don't think agent wants to kill bradon, he voted the same as you! I agree with you anyhow, forgiveness shouldn't just be handed out.
ha… moreha, poor Tazhyn. Just as liquid started to like her! Yeah Tobor didn't stop to consider what she might think about him because of what he did. Yes, lets hope Tazhyn doesn't go running to Reznar about it, Tobor could find himself in another sticky situation
Sorry mybad, I misread what you wrote! I read that you disagreed with him I think I'm a bit tired!
Hopefully Tobor can claw back their friendship! No she has no idea about how crazy Reznar is, she doesn't know how Reznar deals with Tobor. Also she doesn't want to know. Remember when Tobor told her about Bradon and Herazal. She tried to pin the blame on Herazal not her father. Which is understandable. She loves her father and doesn't see the other side of him.
Haha, I know, that's why I agree with him. Maybe I have worded this a bit confusingly, but I agree that Bradon should not be killed and neit… moreher forgiven so easily
And well, now it took me so long to warm up to that girl when she's been perfectly genuine in her motivations all along and just then a careless choice possibly crushes these intentions. That is... I don't even... that is the worst luck At the same time, I hope she realizes what trouble it will cause if she tells her father about this. Though I just had to think, she doesn't actually know that Reznar tries to kill Tobor, right?
Yeah, thanks for the advice, I think I'll go with what you and Chaos suggested. Have a few different view points but not necessarily main POV characters. Just for what Tobor can't be there for!
Well, I am a big fan of multiple PoV's. I do enjoy Tobor very much and think he should remain the main PoV, as you surely intend as well, bu… moret multiple PoV's can really help with telling the story you want to tell. Like, having another PoV to tell events Tobor cannot be there to witness, or to support Tobor's viewpoint by fleshing out the situation around him, or by further developing certain characters you wish to portray in a different light. One PoV has its advantages, but at the same time, there are disadvantages and in the end, they outweigh these advantages in my opinion. So, if you want multiple PoV's, go for it, you have my fullest support on this
So in this next part would you prefer it if instead of POV the character just tells Tobor what happens instead?
At the moment a character… more will go and do something, and I was going to write it from their point of view. Should I just have it so the character comes and tells Tobor what's going on? Would you rather that?
Thanks I appreciate the feedback
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 2
Fuck Reznar, Tobor thought, here’s your hunt Master. With that thought he raised the shortsword high a… morebove his head. His chest burned with pain, his hand throbbed from the wound and his cheek hurt like seven hells but Tobor Hightower found the strength to bring down the blade with all his might onto the partially severed head of Ātsio hen Gryves. The edge of the sword sheered through bone, sinew and muscle; causing blood to leak slowly into the already drenched sand.
The Bear’s head fell to the sand and rolled onto it’s side, it’s broken face holding glassy eyes that stared towards the Master’s box. Tobor stepped forwards and grasped the scalp of the severed head. He looked at the beaten, broken and bloody face that used to be Ātsio hen Gryves and raised it high into the air. Holding it aloft, Tobor showed the crowd the head and listened to their cries. It was an ugly mix of cheers and cries for Tobor’… [view original content]
I love the idea of multiple POVs but you should only do it if you want to do it and if it feels right for the story. I mean this is ultimately Tobor's story. I'd recommend doing like a bonus POV occasionally, make it a special thing. Just an idea.
Just while the vote for this section is going on, I was wondering if people would be interested in my introducing multiple POV characters? T… morehe thing is, more characters mean more stories going on and I think that would be a lot more fun to read than just one person. Next part there's actually a small POV from someone else and that was originally going to be a one off, but if people want more than I could start introducing multiple POV characters.
What is everyone's opinions on this? It'll mean my writing slows down for a little while, as I work out storylines for them all. But in the long run it could be a better story for it.
Thoughts?
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 2
Fuck Reznar, Tobor thought, here’s your hunt Master. With that thought he raised the shortsword high a… morebove his head. His chest burned with pain, his hand throbbed from the wound and his cheek hurt like seven hells but Tobor Hightower found the strength to bring down the blade with all his might onto the partially severed head of Ātsio hen Gryves. The edge of the sword sheered through bone, sinew and muscle; causing blood to leak slowly into the already drenched sand.
The Bear’s head fell to the sand and rolled onto it’s side, it’s broken face holding glassy eyes that stared towards the Master’s box. Tobor stepped forwards and grasped the scalp of the severed head. He looked at the beaten, broken and bloody face that used to be Ātsio hen Gryves and raised it high into the air. Holding it aloft, Tobor showed the crowd the head and listened to their cries. It was an ugly mix of cheers and cries for Tobor’… [view original content]
I think you should try multiple PoV and I will also like Tobor to be remain the main PoV.Multiple point of view character will give the story a special angle.This story deserves to have Multiple pov.
I will suggest you should try it and see.
Just while the vote for this section is going on, I was wondering if people would be interested in my introducing multiple POV characters? T… morehe thing is, more characters mean more stories going on and I think that would be a lot more fun to read than just one person. Next part there's actually a small POV from someone else and that was originally going to be a one off, but if people want more than I could start introducing multiple POV characters.
What is everyone's opinions on this? It'll mean my writing slows down for a little while, as I work out storylines for them all. But in the long run it could be a better story for it.
Thoughts?
Great, thanks for everyone's thoughts, I'll keep Tobor as the main POV and then when his viewpoint can't explain the story fully, I will use other characters to show the full picture.
Just while the vote for this section is going on, I was wondering if people would be interested in my introducing multiple POV characters? T… morehe thing is, more characters mean more stories going on and I think that would be a lot more fun to read than just one person. Next part there's actually a small POV from someone else and that was originally going to be a one off, but if people want more than I could start introducing multiple POV characters.
What is everyone's opinions on this? It'll mean my writing slows down for a little while, as I work out storylines for them all. But in the long run it could be a better story for it.
Thoughts?
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 2
Fuck Reznar, Tobor thought, here’s your hunt Master. With that thought he raised the shortsword high a… morebove his head. His chest burned with pain, his hand throbbed from the wound and his cheek hurt like seven hells but Tobor Hightower found the strength to bring down the blade with all his might onto the partially severed head of Ātsio hen Gryves. The edge of the sword sheered through bone, sinew and muscle; causing blood to leak slowly into the already drenched sand.
The Bear’s head fell to the sand and rolled onto it’s side, it’s broken face holding glassy eyes that stared towards the Master’s box. Tobor stepped forwards and grasped the scalp of the severed head. He looked at the beaten, broken and bloody face that used to be Ātsio hen Gryves and raised it high into the air. Holding it aloft, Tobor showed the crowd the head and listened to their cries. It was an ugly mix of cheers and cries for Tobor’… [view original content]
Comments
All very good points.
I did like Ātsio, he was a very fun character to write, his own sort of honour, his hunts. Perhaps, were Tobor not matched with him, they could have been comrades, even friends. Hmm interesting theory about impressing potential buyers. I can confirm that some people were indeed very very impressed with the little Westerosi boy who killed the huge hulk of a man. Although, I'm curious if Reznar is willing to part with Tobor.
Hey guys, just wondering if you guys enjoy having 3 choices in the same passage or whether it just makes the story a bit clunky and less flowing. Also what about a choice within a flashback?
One last thing, how do you guys like my writing in regards to the combat. That's one thing I'm unsure about, I don't know if its good, or if it just feels a bit like "and then this happened, and then this happened! and then this happened! and then THIS happened!" Any thoughts on anything? Thanks
The Night is dark and full of Terrors
That is very much the question, I am not sure if what we have seen of Reznar makes this a likely possibility. However, despite being a psychopathic piece of shit, I still consider him to be primarily a businessman. If Tobor manages to impress a master enough, my hope is that this master will offer enough coin to Reznar for him to accept despite his grudge. After all, that way he'd achieve his main goal of removing Tobor's influence from Tazhyn's life, as well as getting even richer in the process. Unless Tazhyn comes up with some surprise rescue plan (which you already pointed out is an unlikely step even for her), this is the best chance I see for Tobor.
[Say goodbye to Edric]
[Talk to Bradon]
[Send a Message]
I'm pretty sure these are the choices that are going to win.
[Say Goodbye to Edric]
[Talk to Brandon]
[Send a message]
The flashback was awesome.The combat was also great
The three choices worked well, didn't take away from the part at all. I enjoyed the combat! Though I understand what you're saying, I constantly fear that's how my writing appears.
[Say Goodbye to Edric]
Tobor would regret it forever if he didn't as others have mentioned but I also feel like it could be in his innermost thoughts that his father may ask him to stay and while we know that won't happen Tobor doesn't! =p
[Talk to Reznar]
Making peace with Reznar, even if the intention of speaking with the man is to confront him about the blunted weapon, is essential. I think by talking to Reznar they might be able to make an uneasy peace since the Wise Master may not want to war against his daughter, and keep losing good money making gladiators.
[Throw the Sword Away]
This goes back to my previous answer, in that making Reznar somewhat happy will do good things for Tobor in the long run. If he ravishes this obviously skilled Glad by beheading without permission, who sold out the entire coliseum Reznar is less inclined to do anything but attempt to kill Tobor. In the arena or in his cell.
I think the dude was dead after the first few chops
[Say Goodbye to Edric]
[Talk to Reznar]
[Send a message]
Voting is closed!
Tobor will [Say Goodbye to Edric], [Talk to Bradon] and [Send a Message]
I'm surprised about the vote to Send a Message, I would have guessed most of you wouldn't want Tobor to decapitate one of his already dead opponents as it is quite a dishonourable thing to do, even if it will be a huge middle finger to Reznar. I would have chosen to send a message but still, Tobor will regret it a bit. Talking to Bradon/Reznar was another one that I wasn't to sure about, even now I don't know which I'd do. Most likely Bradon since Reznar is a risk since hes powerful, and its more likely that Bradon was involved than Reznar.
Next part is almost done, perhaps two or three days until I post it (Edit: actually probably more like 1 day, this part is going quick!). Tobor says goodbye to his father and confronts Bradon about the sword in the next part. Can't wait!
Not what I meant, I edited. You don't want to flaunt the victory is the point I was trying to make.
Ok. But does he need permission to kill his opponent in a battle to the death? I don't recall him looking at rheznar for a sign to kill his opponent last time. Edit: Well the voting is closed now anyway so forget it.
No, fighting pits are not like gladiator fights in the sense that fighters don't need permission to kill their opponents. It's just a fight to the death.
Cold Steel and High Stakes
Part 2
Fuck Reznar, Tobor thought, here’s your hunt Master. With that thought he raised the shortsword high above his head. His chest burned with pain, his hand throbbed from the wound and his cheek hurt like seven hells but Tobor Hightower found the strength to bring down the blade with all his might onto the partially severed head of Ātsio hen Gryves. The edge of the sword sheered through bone, sinew and muscle; causing blood to leak slowly into the already drenched sand.
The Bear’s head fell to the sand and rolled onto it’s side, it’s broken face holding glassy eyes that stared towards the Master’s box. Tobor stepped forwards and grasped the scalp of the severed head. He looked at the beaten, broken and bloody face that used to be Ātsio hen Gryves and raised it high into the air. Holding it aloft, Tobor showed the crowd the head and listened to their cries. It was an ugly mix of cheers and cries for Tobor’s own head.
Tobor switched his grip to hold the braid of hair. Like a flail, Tobor swung the head around once, blood leaping from the neck, and let go. The head flew towards the Master’s box and landed. It bounced and rolled coming to a standstill, yards from Reznar. The Master was stood up now, distraught at Tobor’s defiance. Tazhyn sat frozen still, Tobor didn’t know if it was anger, sadness or shock.
With no response from anyone in the box, Tobor stumbled away towards the door to the exit. It was open and inside Tobor could see Miro’s familiar golden eyes. As he struggled to the door he heard the crowd chanting, “Arghurys. Arghurys.” Over and over again. He mumbled to himself, “W-what do you mean?” But nobody heard. The boy limped through the doorway and collapsed into Miro’s arms who caught him with a gasp of pain from both boys. Tobor Hightower saw the ceiling of the weapons room. Then black.
“Well? Will you talk to father?” Kallum asked. Tobor groaned, “Kal, I’m sorry I need to go, the ship leaves soon.” Kallum furrowed his eyebrows, “Tobor…” He said warningly. Tobor sighed, “Very well, I will talk to him.” He said begrudgingly. Kallum clapped him on the shoulder, “There you go, that wasn’t so hard, was it? He asked. Tobor rolled his eyes, “This wasn’t the hard part.” He muttered beneath his breath.
Edwin piped up, “If you wee off the wall will it turn into icicles and hit people?” He pondered philosophically. Tobor and Kallum laughed, “Only if the Others are there. Careful or they’ll eat you up and turn you into a little ice monster!” Kallum growled playfully. Edwin squealed and ran off as Kallum chased him yelling about the Long Night.
Mace turned around at the noise and scowled, “Kallum, if you aren’t going to train your skills like I told you to, at least keep quiet while I practice.” He ordered. Kallum stuck his tongue out and flipped his middle finger up before continuing chasing Edwin. Mace sighed exasperatedly and strolled up to Tobor.
“Hello brother, how are you?” He asked. Tobor smiled, that was unusually polite for Mace. “I’m alright thanks. Mace, I have something to tell you.” Tobor said. Mace cut him off briskly, “I know, you’re leaving. I heard you.” He said. Tobor looked surprised. “Oh, but I thought you were training.” He asked. Mace nodded, “I was. But a good leader should always be aware of what’s going on around him.” He said tersely.
Mace had been this way for most of Tobor’s life. He was a born leader, commanding respect and fear from all who served with him. Tobor nodded, “Mace listen, I know you probably think I’m running or abandoning you but…” Mace interrupted, “No of course not Tobor. The Night’s Watch is an ancient order that you will find honour in. I regret that we will not fight together but I am not father. You must find your own path in life, not one that father orders you on.” He said. Tobor was taken aback, Mace was never this supportive of anything Tobor had done.
Mace had been an arse Tobor’s whole life; he was stubborn, rude and always distant with him. Tobor was confused but pleased. “Thank you, Mace, I appreciate that.” He said cautiously. Mace nodded quickly. “I hope to see you again Tobor, perhaps we will meet one day.” He said bluntly. Tobor held out his hand for Mace to shake. The two brothers grasped hands. “Good fortune in the Riverlands, Mace.” Tobor said.
The two brothers walked away from each other. Mace to continue training, and Tobor to see his father. Tobor had little time so ran through the cobbled streets of Oldtown. He dashed through the crowds of traders, sailors, whores, novices who were studying at the Citadel to become Maesters and myriads of other people. Tobor turned a corner and ran into a solid metal wall of armour. Crashing off the person Tobor raced to apologise. “Ah Tobor.” Said the armoured man. “Off somewhere in a hurry, are we?”
“Sorry Ser Moryn, I didn’t see you. Please excuse me.” Tobor said. Ser Moryn Tyrell, the Commander of Oldtown’s city watch shook his head, “No matter, where are you headed?” He asked. “I’m looking for my father, do you know where he is?” Tobor responded. Ser Moryn stroked his beard. “Hmm, I heard he was at the Citadel talking to Archmaester Walgrave on the Bloody Isle. But that was a half hour ago. Many and much could have changed. I hope you find him.” He said kindly. “Thank you, Ser. I suppose I ought to bid you farewell also. I leave to join the Night’s Watch soon.” Tobor said.
“Is that so? I wish you luck there. Many a brave man would cower at the thought of the Wall, and wildlings. It would be a fair sight colder in your Watch than mine!” He joked. Tobor chuckled, “That it will be. And all is well with you?” He asked. Ser Moryn frowned. “My son, Leo, is still messing around at the Citadel and lives for gambling. Why he’s still wasting his time there when he could be squiring for a knight or something like that, I don’t know. If only he hadn’t been confined to the Citadel for… Well you don’t want to hear about that. I expect you’re busy. When do you leave for the Watch?” He asked.
“About now, actually, I wanted to speak with my father before I left. I hope I don’t miss the ship.” He worried. Ser Moryn winked, “I don’t have much else to do here, why don’t I go and make sure your ship stays firmly in the dock until you’re good and ready.” He promised. What’s she called?”
“The Stag’s Fury, thank you Ser Moryn. Seven blessings.” Tobor smiled. Ser Moryn clapped him on the shoulder, “And to you, a good voyage to you and The Stag’s Fury! Farewell Tobor Hightower, serve well at the Wall.” He said. Tobor waved as Ser Moryn ambled away to the docks, the boy continued to the Citadel up the river road winding behind the Honeywine. The path took him through the heart of the old city until he saw the Citadel.
Tobor had seen the Citadel many times before; he’d had those gates staring down at him many times before. The gates were guarded by two sphinxes, one with the face of a man, the other a woman. Eagled-winged, bodies of lions and serpent tails. Tobor strolled through the gates, nodding to scribes he recognized. Tobor passed the statue in the likeness of King Daeron the First, the Young Dragon who conquered Dorne, bringing it into the Seven Kingdoms where Aegon the Conqueror had failed. When told Aegon had dragons and failed to conquer Dorne, he famously replied, “You have a dragon. He stands before you.”
Tobor took the left fork of the path that led him aside the river. When he reached the Weeping Dock he paid the acolyte a stag to transfer him across the river for the short voyage to the Bloody Isle. Tobor thanked the acolyte and exited the boat, walking the path to the building on the middle of the isle.
Tobor entered the building, proceeding to Archmaester Walgrave’s office. Once there he knocked on the door once and sat on the bench outside. Walgrave was a nice man, but frightfully forgetful, old and more comfortable with ravens than people. After a matter of minutes, the door was unbolted and creaked open. Archmaester Walgrave’s white whiskers poked out and he saw Tobor. His face lit up, “Ah Baelor. Very good to see you again, h-how is Rhonda?” He asked, believing Tobor to be his father’s brother, Baelor.
Tobor, not wanting to waste time, didn’t correct Walgrave. “She’s fine, Archmaester. I was wondering if you knew where my brother Edric was? I heard you were talking to him.” Tobor asked. Walgrave mumbled a bit, stroking his whiskers. “I-I believe he went to see Archmaester Ebrose, something about sending a raven to Qarth, something about an apology, or saying sorry. My apologies, Baelor, my mind is not as strong as it used to be. A mind is like a sword, the old ones go rusty.” He said.
Tobor laughed, “No need to apologise Archmaester, thank you for your help.” Walgrave mumbled goodbye and returned to his office. Tobor left to seek out Archmaester Ebrose. On the way he passed his uncle Humfrey who smiled at him. “Sorry Tobor I have no time to talk now, good luck at the Wall. Make House Hightower proud!” Tobor thanked him as he rushed away. Tobor stopped outside Ebrose’s office just as his father exited, talking to Ebrose.
Edric Hightower was a tall man, built fairly thin but muscular. He had dark golden hair, streaked with grey that fell to his shoulders. Blue kind eyes had become bloodshot and angry since his hunting accident, the effects of milk of the poppy. Edric was slightly hunched over and he looked weak, with a twitching right hand. His sallow skin was stretched tight over his sharp cheap bones with a sickly hue. “Just send the raven then, you old fool. I don’t care what they say. I paid a lot of dragons for this. They will change the location of…” Edric was saying.
When he saw Tobor, he stopped talking, looked surprised and waved away the Maester he was talking to. “Tobor. I hadn’t thought to see you here.” He said abruptly. Tobor sighed and forced a smile. “I came to say goodbye, father.” He said. Edric frowned. “Where are you going?”
Tobor took a deep breath. “I’m going to join the Night’s Watch, I bring you dishonour by not continuing my squiring at King’s Landing and since I am not wanted here I will leave for the Wall. I do not wish to argue about this, there is a ship, the Stag’s Fury, waiting.” Edric looked furious. “It’s that bastard Gethrys, isn’t it? He’s put ideas of grandeur in your tiny little head, hasn’t he?” He barked. Tobor shook his head. “He put no ideas in my head, I believe the Watch is the place for me.” He said.
“Well you’ve got one thing right, you do dishonour me. If only you’d stayed in King’s Landing. Everything would be fine.” He said bitterly. The effects of constant milk of the poppy were clear.
Tobor let none of his hurt show in his face. “Very well Edric. I should go now. If mother could see what you’ve become then she’d curse you.” He said cooly. Anger flashed in Edric’s bloodshot eyes. “Careful Tobor, I loved Fraya, but she would understand the things I do, the things I’ve done. She would.” He said angrily. Tobor scoffed and turned to walk away. “Goodbye Edric.” He said as he walked away. Tobor could hear his father tell Ebrose to send another letter, the boy felt tears spring to his eyes. Edric didn’t care. He was right back to business after telling his son that he dishonoured Edric.
The journey to the docks passed in a blur, Tobor paid no attention to the Young Dragon statue, or the Gates to the Citadel, or the Sailor’s sept and Starry Sept. All he could think of was the anger in Edric’s eyes. Reaching the docks, he saw Gethrys stood with his arms folded, leaning against a post while talking with Ser Moryn.
“Come on Gethrys let’s go.” Tobor said quickly. “Thanks Ser Moryn, farewell.” He said. The commander waved him off and winked at him. Gethrys said goodbye and then put a hand on the back of Tobor as they walked up the gangplank to the Stag’s Fury. “Everything alright Tobor?” The boy nodded.
As the Stag’s Fury was untied from it’s moorings and set adrift. Tobor Hightower stood at the stern of the ship, staring back at the city of Oldtown sprawled in front of him. He could see the Starry Sept, the Citadel and rising up from the centre; the majestic Hightower.
“Just as the High Tower rises in the sky and it’s flame shines out to every ship in a stormy sea. We must rise and light the way for all men. We light the way.” Tobor muttered to himself. As the ship sailed on, Oldtown became smaller, eventually the city disappeared, the tower disappeared. All that remained was the small yellow dot, that was the beacon. A minute later; the beacon, too, was gone.
Tobor woke with a groan, he was back in his cell. Looking down he could see his entire torso was strapped up with linen bandages, some stained red. With a start he realised he could only see out of one eye. Tobor panicked. Was he blind? He sat up quickly, immediately feeling a tightness in the wounds on his chest. He put a hand up to his eye, then sighed in relief as he felt a bandage over it. Panic subsided as he deduced it was for the wound on his cheek. He removed the bandage from over his eye, the linen stuck to the wound on his cheek, so Tobor wrapped it around his head once more. But so it didn’t restrict his sight.
Looking at his hand he turned it over, it was bandaged around the palm. Tobor wondered if there would be a hole in his hand after it healed. He looked out of the window. It was dark. Tobor wondered how long he’d been asleep, and who’d bandaged him. It couldn’t have been Tazhyn could it? Reznar wouldn’t have let her.
Tobor stood up and paced around the room. He needed to see Bradon. That bastard had set him up to die. But how could Tobor get to Bradon? He was stuck in this cell. Bradon was supposed to live in this cell too, but Tobor hadn’t seen Bradon in this cell for weeks now. He’d most likely been moved. Tobor’s only chance was to wait for Miro.
Tobor walked to the door of his cell, and looked up and down the hallway. There was nobody there except for a guard. Perhaps he could help, Tobor thought. “Hello, excuse me Ser. Can I talk to you a second?” Tobor asked. The guard looked at Tobor, then sighed. “What do you want?” He asked, bored. “I wanted to see if you could take me somewhere.” Tobor asked hesitantly, this guard could just beat him for asking such a question but this was urgent. “What am I? Your fucking squire?” the guard asked.
“No, no of course not. I don’t want to cause offense Ser. I just wanted to see another slave, I think he would be in the quarters where the slaves who work in weapons room are.” Tobor said politely. “Hmm, that’s not far from here. There aren’t many of them so they all sleep by the cleaning slaves. But why should I do a damn thing for you?” The guard asked. “I-I don’t know. Listen, this other slave tried to kill me. I need to talk to him.” Tobor said desperately, trying one last time.
The guard snorted, “So you want me to take you somewhere so you can cause trouble by killing another slave!” he laughed. “Why the fuck would I do that?” Tobor protested. “No I don’t want to kill him, just talk.” He said. The guard nodded sarcastically, “Of course. Now, I’m not going to beat you halfway back to Westeros because you’re funny. But shut the fuck up if you know what’s good for you.” Tobor resigned to defeat, and sat on his bed. The guard faced away from the cell.
Tobor looked at the guard, he had his cudgel and keys in his belt. Tobor could easily sneak up behind, grab the cudgel, whip it around the guard’s throat and pull until he stopped breathing, then take the keys and leave. It would be so easy. Tobor stood up slowly. He started walking quietly towards the guard. Easy does it, Tobor. He thought. Slow and quiet.
Just a foot away from the guard now, Tobor slipped a hand through the bar.
“Arghurys! This is where you live little man!” Came a booming voice. The guard jumped and drew his cudgel. Tobor withdrew his hand and leapt backwards, startled. “Stop there, Se Dyni.” The guard stuttered. “Piss off, Dakloz. This is my friend.” The Beast said. Tobor grinned. Friend? He thought. The guard looked between Tobor and the Beast.
“Are you pissing my friend off, Dakloz?” The Beast growled. Dakloz whimpered. “No, I-I’ll tell Herazal about you.” He moaned. The Beast laughed. “Herazal is in the pit, I saw him go myself. I do hope I face him, I’m sure he tastes like beef.” He smiled at Dakloz. Tobor rested his elbows on the bars. “Now, Dakloz, I was wondering. Would you be happy to take me where we were discussing before my friend arrived?” He asked charismatically. Dakloz scowled at Tobor, then looked at the Beast and all fight fled his eyes. “Yes.” He said nervously.
The guard let Tobor out of his cell and told Tobor to follow him. The Beast elected to join them, when asked why, he replied Tobor was more interesting than beating down someone he called Bloodsong. “That prick always annoyed me, twirling around like a little girl. He’s lucky he never fought me. I’d kill him then eat him.” The Beast promised.
Tobor grinned, “Earlier, why did you call me Arghurys? Ātsio hen Gryves said it a lot in the pit.” The Beast slapped his belly. “I would have liked to face Ātsio in the pit. He was worthy enemy. The finest fighter I have seen in many years. Except Amaya of course. It is a great surprise that you have beaten him. I was certain you would be dead.” He said roughly. Tobor frowned, “Thank you. I think. But why did you call me Arghurys?” He asked.
“Arghurys in Low Valyrian means a hunter. Ātsio hen Gryves means Tooth of the Bear and he calls every person he fights his hunter. He has faced ninety people so you would have been his ninetieth hunter maybe.”
“No, he said seventy-nine. So, I’m Jēnqῑblie Arghurys, that’s what he called me. That’s eightieth hunter, isn’t it?” Tobor asked. The Beast nodded his tattooed bald head. “After other pit fighters heard that you killed Ātsio we all call you Arghurys. Because you are the first hunter to kill your prey.” He said. Tobor smiled, “Arghurys. The Hunter. I like it. Just wait until my brother hears this.” The Beast laughed.
The guard turned around and told them that the weapon room slaves were held here, he pointed to a corridor of cells. The Beast and Tobor walked down the corridor looking for Bradon. “He’s the one that was in the weapons room that day.” Tobor explained. They found his cell, he was asleep. Tobor told the guard to unlock the door. Dakloz did so, and then retreated down the corridor.
“I’ll stay here. After you’ve killed him, please come straight back. I’ll see if you don’t.” He said. “I’m not going to kill him.” Tobor replied firmly.
Tobor took a deep breath, unsure of what he was going to say. He opened the door and went inside, the Beast followed. Tobor shut the door behind him with a loud clang. Bradon sat bolt upright. “Tobor!” He said, surprised. “Hello Bradon, it is a surprise to see you.” Tobor said dryly.
Bradon stood up, “Who’s your… friend?” He asked anxiously. “His name’s the Beast. He eats people who annoy him. Don’t you?” Tobor said. The Beast nodded and licked his lips. Bradon went to talk. “No!” Tobor shouted. “This isn’t how this is going to go. You tried to kill me Bradon.” He said accusingly. Tobor’s anger was filling up inside him.
Bradon looked shocked. “Tobor, I didn’t do anything.” He said weakly. Tobor had had enough. He pointed to his chest, hand and eye. “This is what you’ve done, you’re unlucky that I survived it because I know it was you. Perhaps you did it on Reznar’s orders, perhaps you’re bitter about your hand. Well look, we’re matching now.” He ripped the bandage off his left hand, showing Bradon the ugly wound. There wasn’t a hole in his hand, but it was a red raw mess on his palm. Bradon winced, “Tobor I know you’re upset but I have to protest. I did nothing!” He said.
Tobor shouted in anger. He grabbed Bradon by the throat with his good hand and pushed him backward, slamming him against the wall. “Bradon I know you did it!” he yelled. “You sort out the weapons for the fights, I know you do. I saw you doing it before. And so did he. I can’t believe you’d betray me. I can’t believe you’d try to kill me for your own freedom. That’s what Reznar promised you wasn’t it? He promised you freedom.” Tears sprang to Tobor’s eyes now, he wiped them away angrily.
Bradon looked away from Tobor. He looked down at the ground. “Yes.” He whispered. Tobor let go, struck by the word as if with a hammer. He’d suspected, he’d known it, but the confirmation hurt like a thousand swords. “Bradon. Why?” He said simply. Bradon hung his head.
“It started about after Herazal cut my fingers off. I was marched to Reznar’s office and when I got in there, Reznar was sat with some Westerosi. I couldn’t see much of his face, he wore a hood. He and Reznar told me that they wanted you dead, and that I would help or I would die. Reznar said that you couldn’t be killed outside of the pit, because his daughter is sweet on you or some shit like that. So, you had to be killed in the pit. They said that the hooded man had paid Reznar a lot of gold to kill you, and that if you died, I would be set free. I think that’s what you overheard yesterday.
“On the night before the fight against the dothraki I was supposed to put a slow acting potion in your food, that disorientates and confuses the drinker. But I didn’t, and because of that they beat and whipped me.” Bradon turned around and showed Tobor his back, angry red lines crossed over his back, half healed. When Tobor made no reply, he continued.
“I’ve been receiving notes from the hooded man, at least I think it’s from him. If it was Reznar he would just talk to me, wouldn’t he? I think that the hooded man is in charge of Reznar, and I don’t think he completely trusts him. Because Reznar wasn’t aware of the plan for... for when you fought Ātsio hen Gryves.”
Tobor interrupted, “What’s in the notes?” He asked. “Instructions mainly; ‘do this’, ‘do that’, ‘swap his weapon in his next fight’. I reported to him and told him everything that happened. I told him when you found out I could be set free, I told him when I heard about the incident last night. I wake up and there's a message. Then I write my response and leave it on the window then by the time I get back from my duties it's gone.”
“So, you haven’t seen him since the first time?” Tobor asked. Bradon nodded. “That’s right, he only uses messages. I sent one to him this morning.” He said. Tobor swore, “What did it say?”
“I told him you’d survived the pit, and asked him what to do.” Bradon said. Tobor ran a hand through his long, dirty hair. “Do you know why the hooded man wants to kill me?” Tobor asked. “I don’t know, only that he thinks it is worth a lot of gold.” Bradon replied.
“Wait, did you say that Reznar didn’t know about the sword being swapped?” Tobor said. Bradon shook his head, “The note came directly to me. I assumed Reznar knew, but after the fight, once I’d sent my note I was taken to his office and he asked me what I’d done. Once I’d explained that it was the hooded man he was angry and let me go, so I assume he’s angry at the hooded man.”
Tobor nodded. The Beast looked at him. “Arghurys, this little man has betrayed you, shall I kill him for you?” Bradon looked shocked, “No Tobor, you can’t kill me. Please, I only did this so I can be free and see my wife and little boy again.”
Tobor grew angry, “So my life is worth the chance for you to see your family? And what about my family Bradon?” He demanded. “You know that’s not what I meant.” Bradon retorted. Tobor laughed bitterly, “I thought I knew that you were my friend once, Bradon. I thought that you wouldn’t betray me and we would survive slavery together. But I don’t know what I know anymore.” He said.
Bradon sighed, “I only meant…” Tobor interrupted, “What did you mean? I’m less important than you?” Bradon shook his head, “No, I didn’t…”
“I trusted you! You were my friend. You’ve tried to kill me. And you’ll try to kill me again in the future unless I stop this now.” Tobor shouted. Bradon put both his hands up in front of him. “Tobor, calm down, little brother. Don’t act rashly.” He warned. “No! You do not call me little brother. Not anymore!” Tobor screamed.
The Beast walked forwards and grabbed Bradon by the throat, hoisting him off his feet and smashing him back against the wall. “Say the word little man and I will crush the life from him.” He snarled.
“No, Tobor, there’ll be a message tonight. Here. Soon. With my instructions. You need me alive for it.” Bradon choked. Tobor was silent, petrified. He could sentence Bradon to death. He deserved it, but Tobor didn’t know if he could do it. “Little man, what do you want?” The Beast asked. “Tobor, f-forgive me.” Bradon pleaded.
Tobor stuttered.
[Forgive him] [Crush his Throat] [Don’t Forgive him]
[Don't forgive him] As much as I love when Tobor goes dark, I can't vote to kill Bradon, but neither has he earned forgiveness. So I think Tobor should just leave. Focus on his true enemy.
A Westerosi that wants Tobor dead? I can't think of anyone who'd have such a grudge against him. But I love a good mystery!
EDIT: I'm beginning to worry that we might've ruined Tobor and Tazhyn's relationship.
[Crush his Throat]
The hooded man is actually a future version of Tobor from the year 4578 who travels back in time to murder Tobor before he can make the mistake of telling Jon Snow a fact so that Jon Snow, does in fact, know something. Jokes aside, I'm really looking forward to telling this story!
Hmm, yes Tazhyn isn't too happy with Tobor at the moment. Not sure if they'll reconcile but Tobor definitely wants to
There are some things you can't forgive [Don’t Forgive him] we still should not kill him. Those handicaps only make Tobor stronger. Also Tobor is gonna be a walking scar when he comes free.
Haha "a walking scar" I love that.
Tobor 'the walking scar' Hightower, the scourge of Westeros.
Well he already got two wounds that will defenitly become scars and I imagine those wont be the last he gets. I can already imagine how badass he will become when he is grown up. If Tobor ever wants to loose the awsome name the hunter ( I don't know why he would) he could propably easily establish the walking scar as his nickname.
Just while the vote for this section is going on, I was wondering if people would be interested in my introducing multiple POV characters? The thing is, more characters mean more stories going on and I think that would be a lot more fun to read than just one person. Next part there's actually a small POV from someone else and that was originally going to be a one off, but if people want more than I could start introducing multiple POV characters.
What is everyone's opinions on this? It'll mean my writing slows down for a little while, as I work out storylines for them all. But in the long run it could be a better story for it.
Thoughts?
If you think you'll have more fun writing different characters I say go for it. It's pretty standard for Game of Thrones but overall I think it should come down to your own feelings. Perhaps try it for a bit and see how you like it and then make your final decision after that.
I mean I don't know if I'll have more fun, it sounds stressful. But I don't know. I might write a couple test chapters
I actually like that you have only one pov.
So in this next part would you prefer it if instead of POV the character just tells Tobor what happens instead?
At the moment a character will go and do something, and I was going to write it from their point of view. Should I just have it so the character comes and tells Tobor what's going on? Would you rather that?
Thanks I appreciate the feedback
[Don’t Forgive him]
I very much agree with what Agent has said on the matter. Bradon shouldn't be killed for his actions, even if that might be the safest option for Tobor, but well, forgiveness is nothing that should be granted just like that. If he is honest about this, he can earn forgiveness, but I don't want to let him off the hook so easily. If he means what he says, he can earn it though, but well, that is going to be quite some work.
And damn it, just as I warmed up to Tazhyn, can it be we really soured her opinion on Tobor already? That was not at all what I had thought of when picking that choice, but in retrospect, it is something I absolutely should have seen coming
Can't even blame her, Tobor was super brutal there. Might have been good for him and badass, but surely nothing that improves her opinion on him. We might have to be more careful there, because as long as she remains on Tobor's side, he has a chance. If she stops liking him due to our choices, well, let's just say at the moment she is the only one that prevents Reznar from just killing him and getting it over with.
I don't think agent wants to kill bradon, he voted the same as you! I agree with you anyhow, forgiveness shouldn't just be handed out.
haha, poor Tazhyn. Just as liquid started to like her! Yeah Tobor didn't stop to consider what she might think about him because of what he did. Yes, lets hope Tazhyn doesn't go running to Reznar about it, Tobor could find himself in another sticky situation
Can always try it and see, or just do various mini POV's inside of TObor's story that way it isn't character taking off like they tend to do.
Well, I am a big fan of multiple PoV's. I do enjoy Tobor very much and think he should remain the main PoV, as you surely intend as well, but multiple PoV's can really help with telling the story you want to tell. Like, having another PoV to tell events Tobor cannot be there to witness, or to support Tobor's viewpoint by fleshing out the situation around him, or by further developing certain characters you wish to portray in a different light. One PoV has its advantages, but at the same time, there are disadvantages and in the end, they outweigh these advantages in my opinion. So, if you want multiple PoV's, go for it, you have my fullest support on this
Haha, I know, that's why I agree with him. Maybe I have worded this a bit confusingly, but I agree that Bradon should not be killed and neither forgiven so easily
And well, now it took me so long to warm up to that girl when she's been perfectly genuine in her motivations all along and just then a careless choice possibly crushes these intentions. That is... I don't even... that is the worst luck
At the same time, I hope she realizes what trouble it will cause if she tells her father about this. Though I just had to think, she doesn't actually know that Reznar tries to kill Tobor, right?
Sorry mybad, I misread what you wrote! I read that you disagreed with him
I think I'm a bit tired!
Hopefully Tobor can claw back their friendship! No she has no idea about how crazy Reznar is, she doesn't know how Reznar deals with Tobor. Also she doesn't want to know. Remember when Tobor told her about Bradon and Herazal. She tried to pin the blame on Herazal not her father. Which is understandable. She loves her father and doesn't see the other side of him.
Yeah that sounds like a good idea. I think I'll try that!
Yeah, thanks for the advice, I think I'll go with what you and Chaos suggested. Have a few different view points but not necessarily main POV characters. Just for what Tobor can't be there for!
It's alright when there are occasionally other povs if it helps you to tell the story but I would prefer it if tobor would stay the only "real" pov
[Don’t Forgive him]
I love the idea of multiple POVs but you should only do it if you want to do it and if it feels right for the story. I mean this is ultimately Tobor's story. I'd recommend doing like a bonus POV occasionally, make it a special thing. Just an idea.
[Don't forgive him]
I don't deserves forgiveness and Hitting him is not the think I like
I think you should try multiple PoV and I will also like Tobor to be remain the main PoV.Multiple point of view character will give the story a special angle.This story deserves to have Multiple pov.
I will suggest you should try it and see.
Great, thanks for everyone's thoughts, I'll keep Tobor as the main POV and then when his viewpoint can't explain the story fully, I will use other characters to show the full picture.
[Don't Forgive him]
At least not yet, anyways.