I just bought the Earth
The world map
Some guy with a big hat and a plaid jacket sold me the planet Earth for a couple pieces o' eight a couple days back. I only now realise I have no idea what to do with the thing, so I've decided to give it all away. Not all to one person of course, there'd be no fun in that. Instead, I will give away parts of it to different people and watch them rule their country as they see fit and warring between them and stuff.
So in this thread you can ask for a region of the world.
You cannot rule more than 50 million people so some countries will have to be broken up and some will be joined together. The largest cities can be city-states.
Tell me how you will rule your 'kingdom' (empires welcome too), how you will develop it and how you will treat your peasants and stuff You can rename your countries if you like.
You cannot request the Caribbean, however. I'm keeping that for myself.
EDIT: It is recommended, especially if you want a region that is in high demand (Like New York or Britain), that you give me good reasons to give it to you (Think 50 metre high statues of me).
EDIT2: I got Mr. Winslow to make me a map of the world as it is now. Please check the map before trying to claim a country, because it may already be claimed by someone else.
Some guy with a big hat and a plaid jacket sold me the planet Earth for a couple pieces o' eight a couple days back. I only now realise I have no idea what to do with the thing, so I've decided to give it all away. Not all to one person of course, there'd be no fun in that. Instead, I will give away parts of it to different people and watch them rule their country as they see fit and warring between them and stuff.
So in this thread you can ask for a region of the world.
You cannot rule more than 50 million people so some countries will have to be broken up and some will be joined together. The largest cities can be city-states.
Tell me how you will rule your 'kingdom' (empires welcome too), how you will develop it and how you will treat your peasants and stuff You can rename your countries if you like.
You cannot request the Caribbean, however. I'm keeping that for myself.
EDIT: It is recommended, especially if you want a region that is in high demand (Like New York or Britain), that you give me good reasons to give it to you (Think 50 metre high statues of me).
EDIT2: I got Mr. Winslow to make me a map of the world as it is now. Please check the map before trying to claim a country, because it may already be claimed by someone else.
Sign in to comment in this discussion.
Comments
Current status: 5 seperate countries, and those that aren't from Finland tend to make jokes about how the Finns are disordered, foul smelling, and don't use sat nav.
Significant Miscellaneous Activities
That's no way to talk to the ruler of the world. I'd refuse your request, except you're requesting Scandinavia. I could use someone with your attitude in charge of the former Vikings. Speaking of which, Scandinavia has been lacking in the "sailing to distant shores and plundering them" department the past millenium. I sure hope your ideas will include pillaging.
EDIT: I like it. When Winslow drew up the current version of the world map, he forgot Iceland and Denmark are parts of Scandinavia too, but he'll remedy it in a future version of the map. Secret government base in one of Iceland's volcanoes is a great idea. Just don't forget I want to see Longboats show up on Europe's shores again.
I'm not giving you the oceans. While they stay under the population limit, it would mess up my map. You can get a package deal of a couple of seas, though, if you want water.
Johto.
Now, in all seriousness, I can't think of one for Japan, so Scotland.
Very well, Scotland is yours.
This is one of the most ridiculous threads I've ever seen on this forum.
Furthermore, heavily armed naval bases will be set up all along the north coast to protect against the treacherous Chinese.
I'll think of more things that will need doing.
We will also be carefully breeding Siberian Tigers for use in obscure military operations...
See, I was going to say Kanto, but I didn't remember if Kanto was the one based on a region of the same name
Meh, I like to think of it as Kanto = Japan to Johto's Europe, Hoenn = Australia, Sinnoh= Russia even though it isn't a continent, and New One is North America apparently. So we still need some Africa and South America.
Also, I will have a monopoly over the exclusive market of crazy mountain-climber-tourists.
As new ruler of Canada, I would put into effect the following laws:
1. All people must, at all times, be wearing a condom. This will prevent disease, illness and babies.
2. Every 23 year old in the country is a part of the military. Before 23, citizens will dedicate their lives solely to training how to be killers. After 23, they are killed. This is the highest Honour a New Canadian can receive.
3. The military's main weapon is a unicorn that shoots exploding rainbows from its horn and has ammo strapped to its sides (every marine gets one of these).
4. If you do not name your unicorn something awesome, you are killed immediately.
5. The military's uniform is a suit made of knives and explosions
6. The Currency is the New Canadian Fistpunch. It is a punch administered from the fist to the face. Rather than saying, for instance, "You can have this HDTV for $250", a shop assistant would now say "You can't have this HDTV *fistpunch*", to which the response would be "Give me the TV, [preferred expletive] *fistpunch", and whoever is conscious by nightfall gets to keep the HDTV.
7. The national religion is Bacon. I am the deity. I will eat only bacon, as will all of my followers. The three commandments are: 1. Eat Bacon 2. (see 1) 3. DON'T NOT BE EATING BACON. The punishment for not adhering to the commandments is death.
8. The punishment for every crime, in fact, is death. If you are so much accused of being even tangentially involved in any crime, you are put to death. The only exception to this is if the crime in question is considered badass enough by a panel of jurors. For instance,
if a person blew up an orphanage with a huge explosion and then put it out with a waterfall, they would not be punished. If they just kicked an orphan to death, however, they might well be punished a little bit (i.e., death).
Replace Demomen with Heavy Weapons Guys.
Please, Wear something underneath the kilt.
Sean Connery must read all announcements from the ruler
Bother, too late! Maybe I could share with you and have the western bit?:D If I only have a part, can I also have Brighton in England? I'm happy to share the rest of England with someone else, I just want the seaside...
Since we have two requests for France, and it is too populous to be ruled by one person anyway, I'll cut it in two. Avistew, you get the northern half, and StLouisRibs gets the southern half.
Sure. The Pacific Northwest is yours.
Very well, you're now the ruler of the city state of Tokyo.
caeska, I'm giving you most of Australia. skeeter, you get the west coast and a colony in Brighton.
While Siberia is kind of big, I like your idea with the Siberian tigers. It's yours.
Ok.
Good policies for a happier Canada. I'm throwing in part of the USA's Midwest too. They could use you there.
My friend has requested Congo, saying he'll use it's natural resources to become an Evil Overlord and eventually take over the world. He decided to name it after Blofeld himself.
did I mention all prisoners and dead-weights will be fed to the tigers? saves a fortune on kitty kibble!
Can I get the Coral Sea then? Or the part of Australia with the Great Barrier Reef attached? Please.
Eastern Australia is caeska's, so you'll have to take that up with him, but I can give you New Zealand and the Coral Sea.
Norway is part of doodinthemood's Scandinavia: Land of Delight. Kentucky or Istanbul would be okay, though.
What are you going to do with it?
I don't know, really. Maybe I'd change Rhode Island into Telltaletopia or something.
Hey apenpaap, lrn 2 geography.
Okay, it's yours. I hope you'll execute all professional Dutch singers.
Good enough.
Whoops.
Nice. Brighton is skeeter's colony, but you can have the rest.
Already wrote this once... my computer deleted it. Here I go again:
Nice! I'll take them! But since New Zealand is a population of about 4 million, can I also have Easter Island? If I cannot have both then the Easter Island and the Coral Sea will do very nicely.
Now then, for Easter Island I would make it my home. I would also introduce a holiday whereby someone hides a hundred easter eggs in varying location throughout the Island on Easter day. This will then make the name Easter Island more appropriate. Every local and tourist will have to take part in this yearly event.
For the Coral Sea, as I said before, I will send out my trained specialists, the sharks, to anyone who dares try and pollute the area.
And if I am granted New Zealand, then I will begin by changing it's name to Zealand. It's not very new afterall. It's been around for a while now. I would then give more land to the Maori, who are the local tribes people. My understanding is that they just don't have enough room. Everything else seems to be doing just fine in Zealand. It's even a hotspot for film makers!
WTH DUDE I WANT NORWAY. Without Norway, having Kentucky or Istanbul would be MEANINGLESS. The only reason I want those two is that I'll treat them like step children and they'll always be jealous of Norway.
Rock-Paper-Scissors or I'll gather an army to overthrow apenpaap.
Very well. You can have the Coral Sea,
Sorry, I have already given it away gathering an army against me would be useless, as Scandinavia is no longer mine. Gathering it against doodinthemood would be a much better idea. I'll give you Svalbard. It'll be a nice place to stage an attack on Norway from, and I hear it's not completely frozen over yet at this time of year.
Should you decide to raise that army against me, though:
Naw, I need them to fund the video gaming industry, to create one of the baddest video game console: The Dutchpad. Or something.