I'm also eagerly anticipating the continuance of this let's play. I loved the format of this one and I'm looking forward to the sure to come hardcover book once the let's play is complete.
I think Puzzlebox probably has one of the least bland existences on the board. However, I, too, was thinking about this the other day and wondering if it would ever resume.
Ok, my statement was somewhat hyperbolic. Life is pretty awesome, but the net level of awesome would be increased with another installment of this.
Aww, screw it! I might as well play a decent game for a change... " I arrive at the look-out post and an old geezer listens to my inane ramblings. I can feel my lifelong desire to finish this 'Let's Play' be a pirate, ebbing ever closer...
... Seriously though, I'm moving to a new apartment soon and therefore I can't update this 'Let's Play' as much as I'd like to. However, the next installment is forthcoming within the next month or so. I promise. Pinky swear!
OMG i loved this game (or at least the demo i got free with win 95) but i forgot what it was called and it had been a lingering mystery that i have had for years but now i know what it was called
OMG i loved this game (or at least the demo i got free with win 95) but i forgot what it was called and it had been a lingering mystery that i have had for years but now i know what it was called
You (and a few others) may be pleased to know that a new installment in my let's play will be uploaded tomorrow.
Awesome! I'm really looking forward to it, and I usually have zero interest in Let's Plays.
Thank you kindly to you both. Making these let's play installments is nothing short of a headache but comments like these make it all worthwhile (and then some).
Whilst you are all waiting for me to finish the tedious workload on my new installment, I thought that I'd just let you know that I've updated Part 4 of this let's play (on page two of this thread).
I was never particularly happy with Part 4 and whilst one can only do so much with the material provided, I do think that it makes for a far more entertaining read now. So, you may want to revisit it. If nothing else, it'll make for a good refresher of where we last left of, prior to tomorrows update.
Let's Play 'Flight of the Amazon Queen'
Part 5: 'Life's a Glitch'
It's been quite some time since the last update so please watch this video prior to reading on.
Done that? Good. Let's continue...
You may recall this complete and utter bastard; the Jar Jar Binks of this game. Well, during the last installment of this let's play I couldn’t figure out how to get past the git but I figure that I might as well attempt the same tactic as before by causing a paradox (regarding Robin Williams’ blatant non-existence within reality)…
"I do believe in fairies. I do not believe in myself."
It’s worth a shot but surely there’s no way the developers would bring back this waking turd of a character just to repeat exactly the same puzzle as before is there?!
(clue: yes, of course they fucking would because they’re sadists).
No comment.
As I enter the area that the gorilla was previously blocking, I suddenly think that I’m playing a King’s Quest game. Are those supposed to be rocks or are they what they look like; gigantic freakin’ pumpkins?!
A man pushing a giant rock.
A delicious pumpkin.
I notice a dodgy glitch an interesting detail in the graphics (which I’ve circled for you). It’s some kind of black bar in the water.
Whilst I’m sure that I’ll be needing that orchid, it also occurs to me that the wasps may be the “something with a buzz” ingredient that I need for Bud’s knob lotion. I guess that I was wrong to have assumed that it was the beetle that I would be needing for that - you win this round game.
I vacuum up the wasps and collect the orchid.
Henry the Hoover; arch nemesis to wasps.
I proceed on and come across what appears to be an entrance to a temple but before I can investigate, Joe hears the sound of someone approaching.
Well do it then! Don’t just stand there speaking to yourself and therefore drawing even more attention to your position. Hide man, hide!
Amazingly, the approaching Amazonian women is unable to spot the man shaped blob, wearing a baseball cap that’s crouched right in front of her and walks right past.
“At last, I’ve done it! At last I’ve discovered the secret of invisibility!”
The Amazonian enters by pushing the left booby of the statue (heh heh… more boobies), enters and the door closes behind her.
Oh Lord! Not again, Joe. Why do you find it so hard to believe that there’s such a thing as Amazonian women?!
I walk up to the entrance and examine it…
NEVER?! Breasts?! Really?!
Ban this sick filth!
Ah, that famous Amazonian saying; “mister”.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN
Why? Didn’t you read the previous ‘later in…’ screen, Joe? Anyway, I best try and make my escape…
Uhhhhh... why can’t Joe fit through the bars exactly? You could fit the entire Chinese population through there at the same time (and a few giant pandas to boot).
Maybe if I try pulling on the torch on the wall, it will open up a secret doorway or something…
Good for you, Joe. Now how about pulling on the non-sentient torch like I asked you to, you fucking lemon.
Can a jail cell really be “stupid”? Is it really fair to judge a inanimate object by it’s lack of intelligence?
“Look at that shelving unit, the moronic bastard. Sitting there, thinking that it’s so much better than the rest of us. The cheeky shit.”
Okay, I take it back. That thing is pretty fucking stupid.
I decide to talk to the crazy looking sod in the corner…
Um, Joe. Do you not remember? Bud and Skip already explained to you that they rape men.
See. Told you.
Joe asks whether he’s in any danger of being killed…
The return of Joe “adorably sexist” King!
“Aye, I’ve got another one down me pants, laddie. Would you care to slip your hand down there and try it on for size?”
It’s incredibly tempting to choose the last dialogue option but in the interest of finishing this let’s play sometime before I die, I decide to go for the first option.
States the old man.
Replies Joe.
Interrupts Crocodile Dundee, before going back to not having a career anymore.
The old man offers Joe his puppet with a stick baseball bat.
Not this again. For Christ’s sake! Just take the fucking thing, you dingle berry.
Yes, take it. It’s sure to be useful at some point considering that this is an adventure game. If someone offers you a punch in the face in an adventure game; you best accept it!
Don’t even start, you walking bucket of bile.
TAKE IT!
There’s only one stupid thing here, Joe and that’s you.
TAKE IT, TAKE IT, TAKE IT. FUCKING TAKE THE BLOODY THING ALREADY.
I don’t particularly want to play an adventure game where I get to control a characterless simpleton like you either but needs must. NOW TAKE THE BASTARD BAT, YOU MASSIVE TIT!
Exactly! How dare you hurt the batshit crazy old git who smells of piss’ feelings, you insensitive asshole.
Finally! The next time you do that, I’m wiping your sorry artificial ass from my hard drive. Let that be a warning to you.
Oh great, look who’s here. It’s little miss prissy knickers. Whoop de do.
If you want to find help for yourself then why don’t you book yourself into a shrink, you self-absorbed bitch!
Yes. Yes, they really are Amazonian women, Joe. Let’s settle this thing right now; what is it that you can’t grasp about women living in the Amazon? Why is an easy to grasp fact so difficult for you to comprehend?
I mean did you get a book for your birthday as a kid called ‘Mythical Creatures of the Ages’ or something? Had that book got melded together with pages from another book titled ‘Women of the Amazon’ due to some freak mishap at the publishers factory?
I just don’t get you, Joe. You’re a bloody imbecile and if I have to listen to you harping on with amazement every time you see or hear about an Amazonian women again, then I’m going to pick up my computer and chuck it (and thus you) out of the God damned window.
You stupid, dumbass, ignorant, poorly written son of a bitch. I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!
I do apologise, folks. Normal service has now been resumed.
And I’d like to see them just as soon as I’m done rubbing your nips with my mouse cursor.
Hmm. I could swear that I’ve seen this woman somewhere before…
Ah, the recycling of sprites. Lazy developers everywhere, I hate salute you.
Ms. “I fully endorse recycling” informs me that the evil Dr. Fruitloop has kidnapped their tribe’s Princess. That’s the third person/bird who’s told me, following on from the parrot and Trader Slob.
Did the developers figure that players would suffer from short term memory loss or something? I know that my mission is to put a stop to Dr. Fruitloop and to save the Princess. I really don’t need to be reminded of the fact by every other person (and animal) I come across. The next animal I come across will probably remind me to wipe my own ass!
“Remember; always wipe front to back, Joe.”
The main one being that you’re quite handy when it comes to D.I.Y. because you’re a complete and utter tool. Joe agrees to help the tribe by… yadda yadda yadda, fruitloop, blah, blah, blah princess… and off he goes.
Joe exits to the pool area of the temple and immediately starts leering at the ladies.
“Awight darlin’. Wanna see my love stick? It’s nine and a half pixels long."
Oh stop it, you dirt merchant!
The less said about your appalling chauvinistic attitude the better I think.
LOOK AT WATER
How can the water be full?!
Oh no, not the naked lady taking a shower! Come one man, have some respect.
No you’re not.
That’s not going to stop a complete wanker young buck like Joe, right fellows?
Great it’s Asshole Simulator ’95 and Rapist Simulator ’95 available together in a double pack for the first ever time! Little Jimmy will be pleased when he unwraps that present from under the Christmas tree.
Still, the showering Amazonian decides to hold off slapping Joe for a while and instead explains to him why their tribe doesn’t let men walk around the temple freely…
I leave the temple (noticing that the entrance to the secret temple has been left wide open) and head out to give the orchid to Trader Slob because I have a great memory and distinctly remember him saying he needed to find a present for Naomi.
Shut up!
In return for the orchid, Trader Slob gives me a net.
I attempt to be cheeky by grabbing another net but to no avail…
There’s no need for ‘Take That’, period.
I head off to use the net to grab the bottle of perfume floating in the piranha infested waters…
“Oi, where’s our shrubbery?”
I also make use of the net by capturing the beetle…
I hand the perfume over to Naomi.
He sure is. Also, black is white and Hitler was an absolute darling.
Well, whoopee-shit.
Here I am, giving a sloth a haircut.
Definition of 'Exciting' - Causing excitement, stirring, stimulating, Giving a three-toed sloth a perm.
Not long ago, Joe was asking the missionary whether a sloth was a human. Now he’s suddenly David fucking Attenborough!
Now that I have the necessary ingredients for the potion (hair of a sloth and wasps), I make my way back to the Bitch Doctor...
Yeahhhh… I wouldn’t point the nuzzle of that vacuum at her, Joe. There’s around 50 seriously cheesed off wasps in there right now.
Great, I’m so very, very happy. Let’s all celebrate like it’s 1999 again. I’ll crack open a bottle of bubbly. At last, Bud’s knob-rot can be cured. Huzzah!
The Bitch Doctor starts mixing together the lotion and chanting…
I don’t even want to know what that is!
I take the lotion to Bud and attempt to hand it to him but it won’t work for some reason, so I try taking to him…
Only to find that the game has glitched and it doesn’t remember me already having talked to these two before, So I wade through the exact same conversation for the second time in a single playthrough…
It also means having to listen to this line again…
GAHHHHHHH!!!!
Having entered the Twilight Zone and come back through the other side, I hand Bud the lotion… "Now let’s never speak of this again."
Great, I can go and buy myself an adventure game that’s actually halfway decent.
Can you die in this adventure game? I'm starting to feel that Joe needs an... accident to happen to him soon. Maybe then you'll get to play a new character who is actually halfway decent (not likely, but hope springs eternal).
It's still funny though the way it's written, especially considering Joe has already met at least two women who live in the Amazon (the witch doctor and Naomi).
Davies, this is awesome! Sat at my desk grinning the whole way through (I think my favourite part in this installment was Paul Hogan). Very much hope you manage to do Part 6 at some point!
Hey all, I'm typing this post on my sister's computer and then I'll be disappearing again into the ether for a while...
Thanks so much for the kind comments as always, folks.
I've got some exciting (well exciting to myself at least) plans for the continuation of this Let's Play. It will be sometime until I'll have access to a computer to upload the next instalment but I'll be working on the gags and whatnot in the meantime.
I hope to catch up with you all within the next couple of months.
Davies, have you never loved again?
Love will live on, oh oh oh...
Life must go on, oh oh oh...
For you cannot spend your life regretting.
Chorus: Davies!
Davies, you must face another day.
Chorus: Davies!
Davies, now your love has gone away.
Once you loved her, whoa-oh...
Now you've lost her, whoa-oh-oh-oh...
But you've lost her for-ever, Davies.
When there are clouds in the skies, and they are grey.
You may be sad but remember that love will pass away.
Oh Davies!
After the showers the sun
Will be shining...
[instrumental solo]
Once you loved her, whoa-oh...
Now you've lost her, whoa-oh-oh-oh...
But you've lost her for-ever, Davies.
When there are clouds in the skies, and they are grey.
You may be sad but remember that love will pass away.
Oh Davies!
After the showers the sun
Will be shining...
Davies!
Oh oh oh Davies!
You must go on,
Oh oh oh Davies...
I've got some exciting (well exciting to myself at least) plans for the continuation of this Let's Play. It will be sometime until I'll have access to a computer to upload the next instalment but I'll be working on the gags and whatnot in the meantime.
Hey all, Part 6 of this let's play is coming along quite nicely. I've done the hard work (playing through the next section of the game, taking screengrabs, reformatting them and uploading them to ImageShack).
Unfortunately there aren't too many opportunities for gags with the material given during this section of the game but I'll do my best and come up with something!
Unfortunately there aren't too many opportunities for gags with the material given during this section of the game but I'll do my best and come up with something!
Oh, that's easy! Just keep putting this guy up every time there's a lull.
Let’s Play ‘Flight of the Amazon Queen’
Part 6: ‘The Part That Comes After Part 5 But Before Part 7
It’s time to make our way over to Floda Inc. The “lederhosen factory” that acts as a cover for the secret lab of Dr. Fruitloop and his crazy experiments. My mission is to gain entry and rescue Princess Azura.
Before entering the main building, I attempt to access the shed to the left. Unfortunately the guard dog won’t allow me to pass. Such an original concept for an adventure game puzzle…
…Like I said; original!
Leaving the plagiaristic pooch for the time being, I enter the main facility.
Inside the lobby of the main building, I walk up to the surly looking receptionist and ask for assistance.
HEY! Don’t be so rude! That “fat guy” has a name you know! It’s ‘Trader Slob the Grotesque’ I’ll thank you to remember.
The receptionist enquires as to whether I’m a fumigator that Floda Inc. is expecting. An Amazonian jungle fumigator service?! I bet the business is just raking in!
Not one to miss an opportunity (unless that opportunity involves being a decent human being), Joe claims to be said fumigator in order to gain access to the staff area of the building. The plan works.
You should have gone to SpecSavers, love. I ain’t carrying shit!
Before proceeding onwards, Joe spies a pencil on the receptionists desk and can’t resist making a quick joke…
With his “joke” told and the sound of crickets still ringing in the air, Joe makes a hasty retreat through the door to the right…
… Only to encounter a glitch in the sytem.
”Joe, let me tell you about the matrix”
Entering the kitchen, Joe is confronted by a chef. Luckily, a quick repeat of the “fumigator” line is enough to satisfy his curiosity.
The chef goes on to explain that he’s having trouble coming up with a meal for a member of staff who’s suffering from sensitive teeth. I hand the banana over from my inventory and explain its virtues…
Joe could almost be describing the chef here. Well, sans the “low on calories” part.
The chef leaves the kitchen to go and deliver the banana. I’m sure that the hungry staff member will be absolutely thrilled when their meal arrives and won’t be disappointed at all that it consists of a solitary piece of fruit.
”Banana Surprise - the surprise is; there’s nothing in it except the banana”
Quick question, why is the table and sink in front of Joe so damn big?! I guess it’s because the developers screwed up the scaling on this screen the sink is the latest model and has a new feature; it doubles up as a bath.
Anyway, before returning to the lobby in order to go through a different door, I grab a tin of dog food (which is sure to be useful for getting past the pooch outside). I also take some cheese snacks because hey, I like cheese snacks.
I enter the library and look at the grandfather clock, only to discover that Joe is apparently an expert on fraudulent antiques. This is sloppy writing on the developers part Antiques must have been Joe's major at University I guess.
Looking down the back of the coach, Joe discovers some cash.
”Nice”
Um, say what, Joe? Just put the money in your pocket, you walking testicle! I simply don’t get it; are you afraid that you won’t be able to carry anymore than you already are? I mean, you’ll lug a fucking vacuum cleaner around half of the fucking Amazon jungle but a couple of coins?! ”Oh no, I couldn’t possibly fit those itsy bitsy little coins in my pocket”.
For fucks sakes, you’re in the process of infiltrating a madman’s lair; time is of the essence and yet you’re under the delusional impression that it’s a guarantee that you’ll just be able to stroll back at anytime you like to pick that money up. You’re a fucking gormless erection, Mr. King.
Reading GameFAQs reminds me that Looking at the record player in the room reminds me that there’s a record for sale at Trader Slob’s. I best go buy it…
I severely doubt that the developers were aware of the irony regarding this remark considering that the background music playing in this location (and throughout most of the game) is essentially elevator muzak. The developers make a clever meta in-joke at this point in the game. It’s very witty.
I’m not sure that “like” is the right word.
I return to the library at Floda Inc. and play the record, which in turn uncovers a secret elevator. Why was the specific record that’s required to reveal the elevator, up for sale at Trader Slob’s? Well, obviously an employee of Floda Inc. must have pawned the record that grants access to the underground laboratory in exchange for some beef jerky. Obviously.
Before descending, I attempt to pick up the cash again (seeming as I’ve now spent some money at Trader Slob’s) and this time little Joey-Woahy obliges. The loveable, little cun…
…ning so-and-so.
The elevator starts to descend, very slowly, down from the top of the screen…
… and 30 seconds later it reaches the bottom of the screen. I shit you not, I timed it; 30 seconds just to get from one end of the screen to the other! THIRTY LONG, TEDIOUS, DRAWN-OUT SECONDS!
Thankfully, Joe is able to reach the bottom of the elevator shaft before dying of starvation. Actually, I’m not so sure that I am all that thankful!
I enter the first door in a long corridor and find myself in the sleeping quarters. I open a nearby mail bag and find a literal ‘Dear John’ letter inside.
Okay, what the heck is that object on top of the locker? It looks like you should be able to interact with it and yet you can’t! Odd.
Inside the locker, Joe finds some kinky paraphernalia.
Yeah, what the heck would a twisted pervert like you want with a bunch of S&M gear, Joe?!
Putting to one side Joe’s absolutely pathetic attempts to appear as a non-sexually perverse creep, I take a squeaky toy from the locker and continue down the main corridor and come across a guard…
As Obnoxious as always honest as always, Joe.
Hmm. Looks like we’ll need to find a way to distract the guard. I start by introducing myself…
Oh! Well, that really taxed my brain cells. Clearly I must give the ‘Dear John’ letter to John.
I hand the letter over to Johnny boy. Which is achieved through a conversational option which appears automatically, as if the puzzle wasn’t already easy enough!
Who are you kidding, John?! You don't have a girlfriend. It's a letter from your Grandma and you know it.
Well, old Grandma does needs her meds.
Joe enters the now unguarded room, leaving John in tears.
”Are you a wimpy little chicken wuss who bawls their eyes out on a regular basis?
Are you neglectful of vital duties whilst working?
Would you enjoy working for an insane old fucker who says “nyah ha ha haar” after every sentence?
DR. FRUITLOOP NEEDS YOU"
Moving on, I enter the “crate room” from the ending of ’Raiders of the Lost Ark.
The one and only time this setting has been used within an Indiana Jones movie. Shhh! I said the ONE and ONLY!
What do I find inside one of the crates? The Ark of the Covenant perhaps? …No, a sodding left-handed tin opener. Oh well, at least it wasn’t some stupid, out of place alien. Sorry… interdimensional being!
Entering another room, I come across a staff roaster and duly make a mental note of the details. Fun times.
In the next room I move a cabinet to reveal safe, which I can’t open yet. Oh, such fun..
Moving on, I’m halted by this guard.
Using the knowledge of the roaster to my advantage, I send the guard off to the kitchen to report to Colonel Jackson.
Oh, I won’t…
1 MINUTE LATER…
A cutscene kicks in as I leave the room.
Dr. Fruitloop! Yay!
The doc is watching a small dinosaur work it’s way through a maze as it tries to find a piece of cheese.
Dinosaurs; well known for being partial to a bit of cheddar
Mice; feared for their craving of flesh
That terrible cad, Anderson enters the room. I’m assuming that he’s in league with Dr. Fruitloop but I honestly can’t remember if this was ever revealed to the player earlier on in the game or not! I’m almost certain that it wasn’t, which is odd because this cutscene doesn't even bring up the obvious questions of "how?" and "why?" Hmm.
Ohhh, I know, I know! It’s a Dino Rat.
See told you.
Ah, smug mode engaged
The Dino Rat certainly makes for a less scary hybrid than Dr. Fruitloop’s first genetic experiment…
Part woman.
Part horse.
All nightmare
The Dino Rat scarpers off. No doubt ravenous for more cheesy goodness.
Absolutely. After-all, the guards in this facility are truly the crème de la crème…
Oh, right.
…”and is sure to be the number one kid’s toy this Christmas.”
Dr. Fruitloop starts to explain a painful memory from his past.
When they laughed at you did they say “nyah ha ha haar”?
The cutscene ends and we return to Joe, who has now entered a new room and is examining a poster detailing Dr Fruitloop’s master plan. For a master plan, it’s not very masterful is it?!
I spy a book sat on the table and attempt to open it but alas, it’s locked.
Not to worry though, a quick shimmy with my scissors soon opens up the tome, revealing a hidden key inside.
Apparently Dr. Fruitloop’s security measures are equal to those of a 7 year old child.
I leave the room and head towards a fire exit.
Inside the next area is an empty vial that once contained something called ‘Super-Soldier-Serum’. I guess that Dr. Fruitloop truly has the mind of a 7 year old because he names his serums after children’s playthings. Being that it’s empty I leave it be.
However, there is a full vial of the antidote for Super-Soldier-Serum. Because this is an adventure game and it’s not nailed down, I take it and go up stairs to the right.
Upon entering this room, my first thought isn’t “ah ha! It’s Princess Azura, the woman I came to rescue” but rather “the fire exit leads to a fucking dead end! What incredible health and Safety practices!”
”By Azura, by Azura, by Azura. It’s the Princess! I can’t believe it’s you! Standing here! Next to me!”
Joe tells the Princess that he’s the fumigator. Um, why lie to her, Joe? You fucking dolt!
Woah! A ‘Star Wars’ reference! That’s so out there. How do the developers come up with this stuff?
In the process of continuing the tired awesome ‘Star Wars’ reference, Joe finally comes clean with his true identity. He’s still a fucking dolt though.
Let me guess, Joe; along with Amazonian women, you don’t believe in Princesses? Anyway, I proceed to ask about Dr. Fruitloop…
Go on...
Well, you sure seem awfully happy about it!
I get bored of the conversation and initiate another game of ‘nipple rubs’ with my mouse cursor.
Oh, those nips. Those lovely little nips.
I’d like to eat them up, like a pair of delicious pips.
As I rub them with my mouse;
I start to feel like a louse.
Think my penis is going to need a serious douse.
*AHEM*
Now that I have finished with your nipples… I shall.
I look at the cabinet to the left but Joe informs me that it’s locked.
However, I can open it without any problems even though it’s “locked”. It's empty though, so the cabinet in fact entirely worthless.
I use the key that I found in the book to open the cell door.
Damn straight.
Azura gives Joe a quick peck on cheek.
That’s not enough for Mr. Rapist King though…
Joe pushes royalty over and goes in for the kill. He shoves his tongue down her throat until he can taste her breakfast.
Look at the terror on her face! This is sick!
I wouldn’t worry about Joe, Sparky. He is a jungle beast; he’s a sexual predator and he currently has his prey pinned down.
Uhhh. Apparently she likes it!
Things That Every Woman Loves * Chocalotes * Flowers * Puppies * Being raped by a creep-a-zoid
As the twosome attempt to make their escape; the alarm is sounded and the exit sealed.
Ooohhhh, cliffhanger. Seems like a good place to save…
Quick question, why is the table and sink in front of Joe so damn big?! I guess it’s because the developers screwed up the scaling on this screen the sink is the latest model and as a new feature; it doubles up as a bath.
Heh, now I'll never be able to see that screen in the same way again.
As you pointed out, the developers were obviously trying to do art in perspective, like LucasArts and Sierra often did with their art. Except in those games, the objects in front of the camera that appeared larger (as if to imply that they were closer to the "lens") were up and out of the reach of the main character (since the characters never walked near the "camera" (else they'd have to scale in size too as they got closer). It really doesn't work when the object is directly in front of the main character, and especially doesn't work when it contains an object that is meant to be picked up.
It's actually a good lesson of what not to do. I remember when I was a child, I always thought that it was a waste of space to not be able to interact with those kinds of objects. Now, I know better in that it's purely aesthetic and having them be interact-able (other than "look" of course), ruins the perspective of the whole thing.
Perfect timing for my Friday afternoon! I lol'ed pretty hard at the "Don't touch anything / 1 minute later" part (yeah, I'm a total juvenile). Again, thanks for continuing with these - I really enjoy them!
Perfect timing for my Friday afternoon! I lol'ed pretty hard at the "Don't touch anything / 1 minute later" part (yeah, I'm a total juvenile). Again, thanks for continuing with these - I really enjoy them!
I laughed pretty hard at that as well.
Davies, I'm electing not to believe your claims that this episode was not going to be as funny as the others. Or believe it only if you were referring to the fact that somehow it got funnier. Well done, good sir.
Hey all, I've just finished updating Part 6 (I've been working on it for the last 20 minutes). I initially posted it in a rough, work-in-progress' state. Some of you may want to reread it, I've made quite a few changes and I think that it's much better now. Sorry for the inconvenience, folks.
It's actually a good lesson of what not to do. I remember when I was a child, I always thought that it was a waste of space to not be able to interact with those kinds of objects. Now, I know better in that it's purely aesthetic and having them be interact-able (other than "look" of course), ruins the perspective of the whole thing.
You're right, it really is a good lesson of what not to do. It's a case of mis-communication between artists and programmers.
Perfect timing for my Friday afternoon! I lol'ed pretty hard at the "Don't touch anything / 1 minute later" part (yeah, I'm a total juvenile). Again, thanks for continuing with these - I really enjoy them!
Aw, thanks. That joke was very much a last minute idea I had when trying to flesh out this part with some actual gags! My first "draft" of Part 6 that I wrote a few days ago was god-awful! I'm so pleased and relieved that you liked it.
Davies, I'm electing not to believe your claims that this episode was not going to be as funny as the others. Or believe it only if you were referring to the fact that somehow it got funnier. Well done, good sir.
Aw, shucks. Thank you kindly. However, if you put gags to one side and look at this section of the let's play in terms of it's actual gameplay; there really aren't a great deal of opportunities to make jokes. Heck, even the 'Dr. Ironstein' cutscene was virtually dry of material to poke fun at! Usually those parts are a hoot to write for.
It was hard work getting this part done but hopefully the next section of the game offers up a few more opportunities in the piss taking department.
On the subject of the continuation of this let's play; I'm worried about the future of this forum (will this let's play be deleted once the switchover to the new layout occurs? Will this style of let's play even function correctly under the new layout?). It is with this in mind that I can announce my plans to start up my own website, which will be devoted to my own unique brand of let's plays.
The 'Flight of the Amazon Queen' let's play will be transferred over to my site and concluded. I will then continue to do let's plays of multiple games (certainly adventure games but possibly also different genres). It's going to take quite some time (read: months) for me to get things sorted (buying web space, an address and setting up the layout etc.) but over the last few days I've been backing up the previous parts of this current let's play, for transfer to my eventual site.
I truly hope that you will all visit my site once I get get things up and running. Without all of your support, I would have no interest in doing these let's plays but you all make it more than worthwhile.
Here's hoping there's not as long a wait for the next part!
I'm afraid there will be. I'm returning back home to my flat tomorrow and will have to bid you all farewell for a few more months. Rest assured though, that there will be a Part 7. I've committed myself to finishing this game, come hell or high water!
On the subject of the continuation of this let's play; I'm worried about the future of this forum (will this let's play be deleted once the switchover to the new layout occurs? Will this style of let's play even function correctly under the new layout?).
The posts from these forums will be transferred over (the beta forum that was open to everyone that didn't transfer any new posts was just a test to see how the forum would handle new accounts).
Posts with lots of images do work, it just required a different markup language than BBCode. The Telltale web staff is still working on the forum software, so hopefully they'll take the suggestions from the beta forum into suggestion and use BBCode instead. It would make the transition a lot smoother (that and getting rid of threaded posts, obviously [I don't think anyone who posted their thoughts about the beta forum liked those]).
I truly hope that you will all visit my site once I get get things up and running. Without all of your support, I would have no interest in doing these let's plays but you all make it more than worthwhile.
If you build it, they will come. (I will at least )
Any suggestions (even though it's early days) for the next adventure game that I should do a let's play of? I'd rather keep it to a ScummVM compatible game for the time being (as I'm used to the process of taking screengrabs via that particular emulator) and it has to be something that lends itself to being able to poke fun at (something that's already highly comedic in nature is entirely unsuitable for this treatment; so that's 'Sam & Max', 'Day of the Tentacle', 'Monkey Island' and it's ilk out of the window).
Perhaps 'Loom' or a 'King's Quest' game?
Oh and by the way; I'll be running a 'CREDITS' section once I complete this let's play and I'll be giving special thanks to those who've been following this thread (plus, a little extra 'special, special thanks' to one particular person...)!
The problem with games running using ScummVM is that most of them are either pretty good or are fairly well known. Not saying that's a bad thing, just that it's stuff that's been covered before, unlike FotAQ, which is fairly new to most of us, which is part of why we're enjoying it so much (the other main reason being your brilliant commentary).
I don't know if Police Quest uses ScummVM, but the level of OCD you need to be able to get ANYWHERE in it would make it ripe for a Let's Play. At one point you can die if you don't check all four tires of a car before driving it.
Outside of ScummVM, there's some pretty awful free Adventure Game Studio-made games you could try, if you want to be really out there.
Otherwise, I've heard bad things about Jazz & Faust, and I distinctly remember a game from my childhood called Chewy: Esc from F5 that wasn't particularly good. If you don't want to tackle it, then I will (at some point).
Other games I know nothing about but don't appear to be very good: Liath, Escape from Delirium, Tlon, Return to Rama, Urban Runner, Dare to Dream, A Fork in the Tale (with Rob Schneider!), Fenimore Filmore's Revenge, and Simon the Sorcerer 3D.
Comments
The bad news is that I'm only able to update this thread when I stay over at my parents house, due to technical reasons.
The good news is that I'm visiting my parents this weekend!
Ok, my statement was somewhat hyperbolic. Life is pretty awesome, but the net level of awesome would be increased with another installment of this.
Hooray for Davies's parents! As if doing us the favour of conceiving and raising you wasn't enough!
Thanks for the mental image.
I arrive at the look-out post and an old geezer listens to my inane ramblings. I can feel my lifelong desire to finish this 'Let's Play' be a pirate, ebbing ever closer...
... Seriously though, I'm moving to a new apartment soon and therefore I can't update this 'Let's Play' as much as I'd like to. However, the next installment is forthcoming within the next month or so. I promise. Pinky swear!
You (and a few others) may be pleased to know that a new installment in my let's play will be uploaded tomorrow.
I shall very much look forward to it.
Thank you kindly to you both. Making these let's play installments is nothing short of a headache but comments like these make it all worthwhile (and then some).
I was never particularly happy with Part 4 and whilst one can only do so much with the material provided, I do think that it makes for a far more entertaining read now. So, you may want to revisit it. If nothing else, it'll make for a good refresher of where we last left of, prior to tomorrows update.
Part 5: 'Life's a Glitch'
It's been quite some time since the last update so please watch this video prior to reading on.
Done that? Good. Let's continue...
You may recall this complete and utter bastard; the Jar Jar Binks of this game. Well, during the last installment of this let's play I couldn’t figure out how to get past the git but I figure that I might as well attempt the same tactic as before by causing a paradox (regarding Robin Williams’ blatant non-existence within reality)…
"I do believe in fairies. I do not believe in myself."
It’s worth a shot but surely there’s no way the developers would bring back this waking turd of a character just to repeat exactly the same puzzle as before is there?!
(clue: yes, of course they fucking would because they’re sadists).
No comment.
As I enter the area that the gorilla was previously blocking, I suddenly think that I’m playing a King’s Quest game. Are those supposed to be rocks or are they what they look like; gigantic freakin’ pumpkins?!
A man pushing a giant rock.
A delicious pumpkin.
I notice a dodgy glitch an interesting detail in the graphics (which I’ve circled for you). It’s some kind of black bar in the water.
Whilst I’m sure that I’ll be needing that orchid, it also occurs to me that the wasps may be the “something with a buzz” ingredient that I need for Bud’s knob lotion. I guess that I was wrong to have assumed that it was the beetle that I would be needing for that - you win this round game.
I vacuum up the wasps and collect the orchid.
Henry the Hoover; arch nemesis to wasps.
I proceed on and come across what appears to be an entrance to a temple but before I can investigate, Joe hears the sound of someone approaching.
Well do it then! Don’t just stand there speaking to yourself and therefore drawing even more attention to your position. Hide man, hide!
Amazingly, the approaching Amazonian women is unable to spot the man shaped blob, wearing a baseball cap that’s crouched right in front of her and walks right past.
“At last, I’ve done it! At last I’ve discovered the secret of invisibility!”
The Amazonian enters by pushing the left booby of the statue (heh heh… more boobies), enters and the door closes behind her.
Oh Lord! Not again, Joe. Why do you find it so hard to believe that there’s such a thing as Amazonian women?!
I walk up to the entrance and examine it…
NEVER?! Breasts?! Really?!
Ban this sick filth!
Ah, that famous Amazonian saying; “mister”.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN
Why? Didn’t you read the previous ‘later in…’ screen, Joe? Anyway, I best try and make my escape…
Uhhhhh... why can’t Joe fit through the bars exactly? You could fit the entire Chinese population through there at the same time (and a few giant pandas to boot).
Maybe if I try pulling on the torch on the wall, it will open up a secret doorway or something…
Good for you, Joe. Now how about pulling on the non-sentient torch like I asked you to, you fucking lemon.
Can a jail cell really be “stupid”? Is it really fair to judge a inanimate object by it’s lack of intelligence?
“Look at that shelving unit, the moronic bastard. Sitting there, thinking that it’s so much better than the rest of us. The cheeky shit.”
Okay, I take it back. That thing is pretty fucking stupid.
I decide to talk to the crazy looking sod in the corner…
Um, Joe. Do you not remember? Bud and Skip already explained to you that they rape men.
See. Told you.
Joe asks whether he’s in any danger of being killed…
The return of Joe “adorably sexist” King!
“Aye, I’ve got another one down me pants, laddie. Would you care to slip your hand down there and try it on for size?”
It’s incredibly tempting to choose the last dialogue option but in the interest of finishing this let’s play sometime before I die, I decide to go for the first option.
States the old man.
Replies Joe.
Interrupts Crocodile Dundee, before going back to not having a career anymore.
The old man offers Joe his puppet with a stick baseball bat.
Not this again. For Christ’s sake! Just take the fucking thing, you dingle berry.
Yes, take it. It’s sure to be useful at some point considering that this is an adventure game. If someone offers you a punch in the face in an adventure game; you best accept it!
Don’t even start, you walking bucket of bile.
TAKE IT!
There’s only one stupid thing here, Joe and that’s you.
TAKE IT, TAKE IT, TAKE IT. FUCKING TAKE THE BLOODY THING ALREADY.
I don’t particularly want to play an adventure game where I get to control a characterless simpleton like you either but needs must. NOW TAKE THE BASTARD BAT, YOU MASSIVE TIT!
Exactly! How dare you hurt the batshit crazy old git who smells of piss’ feelings, you insensitive asshole.
Finally! The next time you do that, I’m wiping your sorry artificial ass from my hard drive. Let that be a warning to you.
Oh great, look who’s here. It’s little miss prissy knickers. Whoop de do.
If you want to find help for yourself then why don’t you book yourself into a shrink, you self-absorbed bitch!
Yes. Yes, they really are Amazonian women, Joe. Let’s settle this thing right now; what is it that you can’t grasp about women living in the Amazon? Why is an easy to grasp fact so difficult for you to comprehend?
I mean did you get a book for your birthday as a kid called ‘Mythical Creatures of the Ages’ or something? Had that book got melded together with pages from another book titled ‘Women of the Amazon’ due to some freak mishap at the publishers factory?
I just don’t get you, Joe. You’re a bloody imbecile and if I have to listen to you harping on with amazement every time you see or hear about an Amazonian women again, then I’m going to pick up my computer and chuck it (and thus you) out of the God damned window.
You stupid, dumbass, ignorant, poorly written son of a bitch. I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!
I do apologise, folks. Normal service has now been resumed.
And I’d like to see them just as soon as I’m done rubbing your nips with my mouse cursor.
Hmm. I could swear that I’ve seen this woman somewhere before…
Ah, the recycling of sprites. Lazy developers everywhere, I hate salute you.
Ms. “I fully endorse recycling” informs me that the evil Dr. Fruitloop has kidnapped their tribe’s Princess. That’s the third person/bird who’s told me, following on from the parrot and Trader Slob.
Did the developers figure that players would suffer from short term memory loss or something? I know that my mission is to put a stop to Dr. Fruitloop and to save the Princess. I really don’t need to be reminded of the fact by every other person (and animal) I come across. The next animal I come across will probably remind me to wipe my own ass!
“Remember; always wipe front to back, Joe.”
The main one being that you’re quite handy when it comes to D.I.Y. because you’re a complete and utter tool. Joe agrees to help the tribe by… yadda yadda yadda, fruitloop, blah, blah, blah princess… and off he goes.
Joe exits to the pool area of the temple and immediately starts leering at the ladies.
“Awight darlin’. Wanna see my love stick? It’s nine and a half pixels long."
Oh stop it, you dirt merchant!
The less said about your appalling chauvinistic attitude the better I think.
LOOK AT WATER
How can the water be full?!
Oh no, not the naked lady taking a shower! Come one man, have some respect.
No you’re not.
That’s not going to stop a complete wanker young buck like Joe, right fellows?
Great it’s Asshole Simulator ’95 and Rapist Simulator ’95 available together in a double pack for the first ever time! Little Jimmy will be pleased when he unwraps that present from under the Christmas tree.
Because. They. Are. Locked. In. The. Dungeon. As. Has. Already. Been. Established. You. Muppet.
Still, the showering Amazonian decides to hold off slapping Joe for a while and instead explains to him why their tribe doesn’t let men walk around the temple freely…
I leave the temple (noticing that the entrance to the secret temple has been left wide open) and head out to give the orchid to Trader Slob because I have a great memory and distinctly remember him saying he needed to find a present for Naomi.
Shut up!
In return for the orchid, Trader Slob gives me a net.
I attempt to be cheeky by grabbing another net but to no avail…
There’s no need for ‘Take That’, period.
I head off to use the net to grab the bottle of perfume floating in the piranha infested waters…
“Oi, where’s our shrubbery?”
I also make use of the net by capturing the beetle…
I hand the perfume over to Naomi.
He sure is. Also, black is white and Hitler was an absolute darling.
Well, whoopee-shit.
Here I am, giving a sloth a haircut.
Definition of 'Exciting' - Causing excitement, stirring, stimulating, Giving a three-toed sloth a perm.
Not long ago, Joe was asking the missionary whether a sloth was a human. Now he’s suddenly David fucking Attenborough!
Now that I have the necessary ingredients for the potion (hair of a sloth and wasps), I make my way back to the Bitch Doctor...
Yeahhhh… I wouldn’t point the nuzzle of that vacuum at her, Joe. There’s around 50 seriously cheesed off wasps in there right now.
Great, I’m so very, very happy. Let’s all celebrate like it’s 1999 again. I’ll crack open a bottle of bubbly. At last, Bud’s knob-rot can be cured. Huzzah!
The Bitch Doctor starts mixing together the lotion and chanting…
I don’t even want to know what that is!
I take the lotion to Bud and attempt to hand it to him but it won’t work for some reason, so I try taking to him…
Only to find that the game has glitched and it doesn’t remember me already having talked to these two before, So I wade through the exact same conversation for the second time in a single playthrough…
It also means having to listen to this line again…
GAHHHHHHH!!!!
Having entered the Twilight Zone and come back through the other side, I hand Bud the lotion…
"Now let’s never speak of this again."
Great, I can go and buy myself an adventure game that’s actually halfway decent.
Well, that’s it for Part 5.
It's still funny though the way it's written, especially considering Joe has already met at least two women who live in the Amazon (the witch doctor and Naomi).
Thanks so much for the kind comments as always, folks.
I've got some exciting (well exciting to myself at least) plans for the continuation of this Let's Play. It will be sometime until I'll have access to a computer to upload the next instalment but I'll be working on the gags and whatnot in the meantime.
I hope to catch up with you all within the next couple of months.
Take care all.
Chorus: Davies!
Davies, have you always been alone?
Chorus: Davies!
Davies, have you never loved again?
Love will live on, oh oh oh...
Life must go on, oh oh oh...
For you cannot spend your life regretting.
Chorus: Davies!
Davies, you must face another day.
Chorus: Davies!
Davies, now your love has gone away.
Once you loved her, whoa-oh...
Now you've lost her, whoa-oh-oh-oh...
But you've lost her for-ever, Davies.
When there are clouds in the skies, and they are grey.
You may be sad but remember that love will pass away.
Oh Davies!
After the showers the sun
Will be shining...
[instrumental solo]
Once you loved her, whoa-oh...
Now you've lost her, whoa-oh-oh-oh...
But you've lost her for-ever, Davies.
When there are clouds in the skies, and they are grey.
You may be sad but remember that love will pass away.
Oh Davies!
After the showers the sun
Will be shining...
Davies!
Oh oh oh Davies!
You must go on,
Oh oh oh Davies...
Unfortunately there aren't too many opportunities for gags with the material given during this section of the game but I'll do my best and come up with something!
Part 6 will be uploaded by some point tomorrow...
Oh, that's easy! Just keep putting this guy up every time there's a lull.
Part 6: ‘The Part That Comes After Part 5 But Before Part 7
It’s time to make our way over to Floda Inc. The “lederhosen factory” that acts as a cover for the secret lab of Dr. Fruitloop and his crazy experiments. My mission is to gain entry and rescue Princess Azura.
Before entering the main building, I attempt to access the shed to the left. Unfortunately the guard dog won’t allow me to pass. Such an original concept for an adventure game puzzle…
…Like I said; original!
Leaving the plagiaristic pooch for the time being, I enter the main facility.
Inside the lobby of the main building, I walk up to the surly looking receptionist and ask for assistance.
HEY! Don’t be so rude! That “fat guy” has a name you know! It’s ‘Trader Slob the Grotesque’ I’ll thank you to remember.
The receptionist enquires as to whether I’m a fumigator that Floda Inc. is expecting. An Amazonian jungle fumigator service?! I bet the business is just raking in!
Not one to miss an opportunity (unless that opportunity involves being a decent human being), Joe claims to be said fumigator in order to gain access to the staff area of the building. The plan works.
You should have gone to SpecSavers, love. I ain’t carrying shit!
Before proceeding onwards, Joe spies a pencil on the receptionists desk and can’t resist making a quick joke…
With his “joke” told and the sound of crickets still ringing in the air, Joe makes a hasty retreat through the door to the right…
… Only to encounter a glitch in the sytem.
”Joe, let me tell you about the matrix”
Entering the kitchen, Joe is confronted by a chef. Luckily, a quick repeat of the “fumigator” line is enough to satisfy his curiosity.
The chef goes on to explain that he’s having trouble coming up with a meal for a member of staff who’s suffering from sensitive teeth. I hand the banana over from my inventory and explain its virtues…
Joe could almost be describing the chef here. Well, sans the “low on calories” part.
The chef leaves the kitchen to go and deliver the banana. I’m sure that the hungry staff member will be absolutely thrilled when their meal arrives and won’t be disappointed at all that it consists of a solitary piece of fruit.
”Banana Surprise - the surprise is; there’s nothing in it except the banana”
Quick question, why is the table and sink in front of Joe so damn big?! I guess it’s because the developers screwed up the scaling on this screen the sink is the latest model and has a new feature; it doubles up as a bath.
Anyway, before returning to the lobby in order to go through a different door, I grab a tin of dog food (which is sure to be useful for getting past the pooch outside). I also take some cheese snacks because hey, I like cheese snacks.
I enter the library and look at the grandfather clock, only to discover that Joe is apparently an expert on fraudulent antiques. This is sloppy writing on the developers part Antiques must have been Joe's major at University I guess.
Looking down the back of the coach, Joe discovers some cash.
”Nice”
Um, say what, Joe? Just put the money in your pocket, you walking testicle! I simply don’t get it; are you afraid that you won’t be able to carry anymore than you already are? I mean, you’ll lug a fucking vacuum cleaner around half of the fucking Amazon jungle but a couple of coins?! ”Oh no, I couldn’t possibly fit those itsy bitsy little coins in my pocket”.
For fucks sakes, you’re in the process of infiltrating a madman’s lair; time is of the essence and yet you’re under the delusional impression that it’s a guarantee that you’ll just be able to stroll back at anytime you like to pick that money up. You’re a fucking gormless erection, Mr. King.
Reading GameFAQs reminds me that Looking at the record player in the room reminds me that there’s a record for sale at Trader Slob’s. I best go buy it…
I severely doubt that the developers were aware of the irony regarding this remark considering that the background music playing in this location (and throughout most of the game) is essentially elevator muzak. The developers make a clever meta in-joke at this point in the game. It’s very witty.
I’m not sure that “like” is the right word.
I return to the library at Floda Inc. and play the record, which in turn uncovers a secret elevator. Why was the specific record that’s required to reveal the elevator, up for sale at Trader Slob’s? Well, obviously an employee of Floda Inc. must have pawned the record that grants access to the underground laboratory in exchange for some beef jerky. Obviously.
Before descending, I attempt to pick up the cash again (seeming as I’ve now spent some money at Trader Slob’s) and this time little Joey-Woahy obliges. The loveable, little cun…
…ning so-and-so.
The elevator starts to descend, very slowly, down from the top of the screen…
… and 30 seconds later it reaches the bottom of the screen. I shit you not, I timed it; 30 seconds just to get from one end of the screen to the other! THIRTY LONG, TEDIOUS, DRAWN-OUT SECONDS!
Thankfully, Joe is able to reach the bottom of the elevator shaft before dying of starvation. Actually, I’m not so sure that I am all that thankful!
I enter the first door in a long corridor and find myself in the sleeping quarters. I open a nearby mail bag and find a literal ‘Dear John’ letter inside.
Okay, what the heck is that object on top of the locker? It looks like you should be able to interact with it and yet you can’t! Odd.
Inside the locker, Joe finds some kinky paraphernalia.
Yeah, what the heck would a twisted pervert like you want with a bunch of S&M gear, Joe?!
Putting to one side Joe’s absolutely pathetic attempts to appear as a non-sexually perverse creep, I take a squeaky toy from the locker and continue down the main corridor and come across a guard…
As Obnoxious as always honest as always, Joe.
Hmm. Looks like we’ll need to find a way to distract the guard. I start by introducing myself…
Oh! Well, that really taxed my brain cells. Clearly I must give the ‘Dear John’ letter to John.
I hand the letter over to Johnny boy. Which is achieved through a conversational option which appears automatically, as if the puzzle wasn’t already easy enough!
Who are you kidding, John?! You don't have a girlfriend. It's a letter from your Grandma and you know it.
Well, old Grandma does needs her meds.
Joe enters the now unguarded room, leaving John in tears.
”Are you a wimpy little chicken wuss who bawls their eyes out on a regular basis?
Are you neglectful of vital duties whilst working?
Would you enjoy working for an insane old fucker who says “nyah ha ha haar” after every sentence?
DR. FRUITLOOP NEEDS YOU"
Moving on, I enter the “crate room” from the ending of ’Raiders of the Lost Ark.
The one and only time this setting has been used within an Indiana Jones movie. Shhh! I said the ONE and ONLY!
What do I find inside one of the crates? The Ark of the Covenant perhaps? …No, a sodding left-handed tin opener. Oh well, at least it wasn’t some stupid, out of place alien. Sorry… interdimensional being!
Entering another room, I come across a staff roaster and duly make a mental note of the details. Fun times.
In the next room I move a cabinet to reveal safe, which I can’t open yet. Oh, such fun..
Moving on, I’m halted by this guard.
Using the knowledge of the roaster to my advantage, I send the guard off to the kitchen to report to Colonel Jackson.
Oh, I won’t…
1 MINUTE LATER…
A cutscene kicks in as I leave the room.
Dr. Fruitloop! Yay!
The doc is watching a small dinosaur work it’s way through a maze as it tries to find a piece of cheese.
Dinosaurs; well known for being partial to a bit of cheddar
Mice; feared for their craving of flesh
That terrible cad, Anderson enters the room. I’m assuming that he’s in league with Dr. Fruitloop but I honestly can’t remember if this was ever revealed to the player earlier on in the game or not! I’m almost certain that it wasn’t, which is odd because this cutscene doesn't even bring up the obvious questions of "how?" and "why?" Hmm.
Ohhh, I know, I know! It’s a Dino Rat.
See told you.
Ah, smug mode engaged
The Dino Rat certainly makes for a less scary hybrid than Dr. Fruitloop’s first genetic experiment…
Part woman.
Part horse.
All nightmare
The Dino Rat scarpers off. No doubt ravenous for more cheesy goodness.
Absolutely. After-all, the guards in this facility are truly the crème de la crème…
Oh, right.
…”and is sure to be the number one kid’s toy this Christmas.”
Dr. Fruitloop starts to explain a painful memory from his past.
When they laughed at you did they say “nyah ha ha haar”?
The cutscene ends and we return to Joe, who has now entered a new room and is examining a poster detailing Dr Fruitloop’s master plan. For a master plan, it’s not very masterful is it?!
I spy a book sat on the table and attempt to open it but alas, it’s locked.
Not to worry though, a quick shimmy with my scissors soon opens up the tome, revealing a hidden key inside.
Apparently Dr. Fruitloop’s security measures are equal to those of a 7 year old child.
I leave the room and head towards a fire exit.
Inside the next area is an empty vial that once contained something called ‘Super-Soldier-Serum’. I guess that Dr. Fruitloop truly has the mind of a 7 year old because he names his serums after children’s playthings. Being that it’s empty I leave it be.
However, there is a full vial of the antidote for Super-Soldier-Serum. Because this is an adventure game and it’s not nailed down, I take it and go up stairs to the right.
Upon entering this room, my first thought isn’t “ah ha! It’s Princess Azura, the woman I came to rescue” but rather “the fire exit leads to a fucking dead end! What incredible health and Safety practices!”
”By Azura, by Azura, by Azura. It’s the Princess! I can’t believe it’s you! Standing here! Next to me!”
Joe tells the Princess that he’s the fumigator. Um, why lie to her, Joe? You fucking dolt!
Woah! A ‘Star Wars’ reference! That’s so out there. How do the developers come up with this stuff?
In the process of continuing the tired awesome ‘Star Wars’ reference, Joe finally comes clean with his true identity. He’s still a fucking dolt though.
Let me guess, Joe; along with Amazonian women, you don’t believe in Princesses? Anyway, I proceed to ask about Dr. Fruitloop…
Go on...
Well, you sure seem awfully happy about it!
I get bored of the conversation and initiate another game of ‘nipple rubs’ with my mouse cursor.
Oh, those nips. Those lovely little nips.
I’d like to eat them up, like a pair of delicious pips.
As I rub them with my mouse;
I start to feel like a louse.
Think my penis is going to need a serious douse.
*AHEM*
Now that I have finished with your nipples… I shall.
I look at the cabinet to the left but Joe informs me that it’s locked.
However, I can open it without any problems even though it’s “locked”. It's empty though, so the cabinet in fact entirely worthless.
I use the key that I found in the book to open the cell door.
Damn straight.
Azura gives Joe a quick peck on cheek.
That’s not enough for Mr. Rapist King though…
Joe pushes royalty over and goes in for the kill. He shoves his tongue down her throat until he can taste her breakfast.
Look at the terror on her face! This is sick!
I wouldn’t worry about Joe, Sparky. He is a jungle beast; he’s a sexual predator and he currently has his prey pinned down.
Uhhh. Apparently she likes it!
Things That Every Woman Loves
* Chocalotes
* Flowers
* Puppies
* Being raped by a creep-a-zoid
As the twosome attempt to make their escape; the alarm is sounded and the exit sealed.
Ooohhhh, cliffhanger. Seems like a good place to save…
Well, that’s it for Part 6.
As you pointed out, the developers were obviously trying to do art in perspective, like LucasArts and Sierra often did with their art. Except in those games, the objects in front of the camera that appeared larger (as if to imply that they were closer to the "lens") were up and out of the reach of the main character (since the characters never walked near the "camera" (else they'd have to scale in size too as they got closer). It really doesn't work when the object is directly in front of the main character, and especially doesn't work when it contains an object that is meant to be picked up.
It's actually a good lesson of what not to do. I remember when I was a child, I always thought that it was a waste of space to not be able to interact with those kinds of objects. Now, I know better in that it's purely aesthetic and having them be interact-able (other than "look" of course), ruins the perspective of the whole thing.
I laughed pretty hard at that as well.
Davies, I'm electing not to believe your claims that this episode was not going to be as funny as the others. Or believe it only if you were referring to the fact that somehow it got funnier. Well done, good sir.
You're right, it really is a good lesson of what not to do. It's a case of mis-communication between artists and programmers.
Aw, thanks. That joke was very much a last minute idea I had when trying to flesh out this part with some actual gags! My first "draft" of Part 6 that I wrote a few days ago was god-awful! I'm so pleased and relieved that you liked it.
Gotta love 'em Cheeze Bitz!
Thank you so much.
Aw, shucks. Thank you kindly. However, if you put gags to one side and look at this section of the let's play in terms of it's actual gameplay; there really aren't a great deal of opportunities to make jokes. Heck, even the 'Dr. Ironstein' cutscene was virtually dry of material to poke fun at! Usually those parts are a hoot to write for.
It was hard work getting this part done but hopefully the next section of the game offers up a few more opportunities in the piss taking department.
Here's hoping there's not as long a wait for the next part!
On the subject of the continuation of this let's play; I'm worried about the future of this forum (will this let's play be deleted once the switchover to the new layout occurs? Will this style of let's play even function correctly under the new layout?). It is with this in mind that I can announce my plans to start up my own website, which will be devoted to my own unique brand of let's plays.
The 'Flight of the Amazon Queen' let's play will be transferred over to my site and concluded. I will then continue to do let's plays of multiple games (certainly adventure games but possibly also different genres). It's going to take quite some time (read: months) for me to get things sorted (buying web space, an address and setting up the layout etc.) but over the last few days I've been backing up the previous parts of this current let's play, for transfer to my eventual site.
I truly hope that you will all visit my site once I get get things up and running. Without all of your support, I would have no interest in doing these let's plays but you all make it more than worthwhile.
Thanks, folks.
Thankski verski muchski budski.
As long as yourself and others are enjoying this let's play and leaving positive feedback, I'll keep making new installments.
I'm afraid there will be. I'm returning back home to my flat tomorrow and will have to bid you all farewell for a few more months. Rest assured though, that there will be a Part 7. I've committed myself to finishing this game, come hell or high water!
Posts with lots of images do work, it just required a different markup language than BBCode. The Telltale web staff is still working on the forum software, so hopefully they'll take the suggestions from the beta forum into suggestion and use BBCode instead. It would make the transition a lot smoother (that and getting rid of threaded posts, obviously [I don't think anyone who posted their thoughts about the beta forum liked those]).
If you build it, they will come.
Well, since you're putting the next section on pause, I guess I'll have to fill the void... again. Slacker.
Thank you, all. That's fantastic to hear.
Any suggestions (even though it's early days) for the next adventure game that I should do a let's play of? I'd rather keep it to a ScummVM compatible game for the time being (as I'm used to the process of taking screengrabs via that particular emulator) and it has to be something that lends itself to being able to poke fun at (something that's already highly comedic in nature is entirely unsuitable for this treatment; so that's 'Sam & Max', 'Day of the Tentacle', 'Monkey Island' and it's ilk out of the window).
Perhaps 'Loom' or a 'King's Quest' game?
Oh and by the way; I'll be running a 'CREDITS' section once I complete this let's play and I'll be giving special thanks to those who've been following this thread (plus, a little extra 'special, special thanks' to one particular person...)!
I don't know if Police Quest uses ScummVM, but the level of OCD you need to be able to get ANYWHERE in it would make it ripe for a Let's Play. At one point you can die if you don't check all four tires of a car before driving it.
Outside of ScummVM, there's some pretty awful free Adventure Game Studio-made games you could try, if you want to be really out there.
Otherwise, I've heard bad things about Jazz & Faust, and I distinctly remember a game from my childhood called Chewy: Esc from F5 that wasn't particularly good. If you don't want to tackle it, then I will (at some point).
Other games I know nothing about but don't appear to be very good: Liath, Escape from Delirium, Tlon, Return to Rama, Urban Runner, Dare to Dream, A Fork in the Tale (with Rob Schneider!), Fenimore Filmore's Revenge, and Simon the Sorcerer 3D.
Wait a minute...