The Game Review Thread

Hey everyone, This is a thread where anyone can make game reviews. It can just be written on a post in this thread or it can be on a blog or it can be a video on Youtube. Anyway have fun :)
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Comments

  • edited October 2012
    I'd like to kick off this thread with a review of the Twilight movie.

    ...

    Ahem.

    ...

    It fucking sucks.

    ...

    That is all.

    EDIT: Oh all right.

    The Twilight movie baffles me. It's one of the most appalling bad films I've ever seen, with so many amateurish mistakes made during its creation, and yet it's become amazingly popular. It's a genuine mystery how so many people can like it.

    The plot, for lack of a better word, is so weak it defies logic. Girl moves to backwater town, falls in love with boy, boy turns out to be vampire, vampire has family, everyone's cool with everything, random threat dealt with in about 5 minutes, girl wants to be vampire so she can be with boy forever. And while that may seem like it's interesting, they somehow manage to not only pad this out to over two hours, but they also manage to lose any sense of pacing.

    There's no transitional phases to show that these events take place over a great span of time, and as a result everything seems to occur within the space of a week. It's incredibly disturbing to see the girl meet the boy and then, with seemingly little interaction between the two, suddenly declare that she's in love with him and blindly accept that he's a vampire. Who sparkles.

    Which brings me on to the effects, which are uniformly awful. There are three main types of effects. One being when the vampires are seen during the day - they sparkle rather then burn to a crisp as per every other vampire movie ever, and the CG-work for this is shockingly silly. The second is when the vampires run or climb things - it's amazingly obvious that the actors are on wires and just mimicking the actions they should be taking, and brings to mind comedy skits more than anything else. The third is when the vampires leap through the air and attack each other - the jumps more like the actors are simply gliding through the air in awkward poses. It's impossible to take anyone seriously when the average internet reviewer is capable of doing better effects than a fully-financed feature film.

    And what film would be complete without actors? This one apparently, because there are none. There's a bunch of models hanging around, but there doesn't appear to be anyone with any actual acting abilities. Half the time the models leave long pauses in between their dialogues that just looks like they forgot their next line, and when they're actually required to deliver anything resembling a performance they turn into robots, giving stilted, emotionless readings that would bore even the most forgiving acting coach.

    The whole film is one long cure for insomnia, because nothing about it is even remotely entertaining. There is nothing good about this film, save that it gathers together all the people who like it into one place, which makes it easier for us sane people to blow them to bits. This is one of the most uninspired, lazy and pointless films I have ever witnessed. 2/10, and the only reason it's got that high a mark is because of the soundtrack, which is far and away the best thing about this movie. Not that you'd know, because there's hardly any music playing though the film. Pretty much a failure all round.
  • edited October 2012
    I'd like to kick off this thread with a review of the Twilight movie.

    ...

    Ahem.

    ...

    It fucking sucks.

    ...

    That is all.

    Ok that was a pretty much sums it up but it's a game review thread...I don't know if this should be a game review thread or just a reviewing thread.
  • edited October 2012
    I'd like to kick off this thread with a review of Twilight the Game.

    ...

    Ahem.

    ...

    It fucking sucks.

    ...

    That is all.
  • edited October 2012
    I'd like to kick off with a review of this thread...

    ...it kinda blows really.

    It's pretty redundant and the content is irrelevant and lacking.


    0/10
  • edited October 2012
    Oh, it's for game reviews? Shit. How'd I miss that? And I spent like 15 minutes on that review and everything!
  • edited October 2012
    I'd like to kick off with a review of this thread...

    ...it kinda blows really.

    It's pretty redundant and the content is irrelevant and lacking.


    0/10

    Il review your post It started badly, it tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the end the better, but apart from that it was excellent.
  • edited October 2012
    coolsome wrote: »
    Il review your post It started badly, it tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the end the better, but apart from that it was excellent.

    I can see why this reply is critically acclaimed! :D
  • edited October 2012
    I was actually working on a review for A Vampyre Story a couple months back before I got bored and did something more interesting, like cutting my toenails or something. I've just gone back and finished it, so here it is:

    A Vampyre Story

    Let it never be said that I am unwilling to give games a chance to impress me. I am more than willing to try games of a wide variety of genres, and adventure games are no exception. But when I no longer want to play after an hour for countless reasons, then you’re not going to be looking at a good write-up.

    Enter A Vampyre Story.

    Brought to us from Bill Tiller, an ex-LucasArts developer, the story behind A Vampyre’s Tale revolves around Mona, a wannabe Opera singer unknowingly turned into a vampire. With her token ‘funny’ sidekick, she attempts to escape the castle she’s been imprisoned in and follow her dreams.

    The first, and probably biggest, problem with the game is that the voice actress for Mona is incredibly annoying. A French accent is never easy to do, even at the best of times, and this is as far from the best as can be. In fact, all of the voicework is annoying, which makes the whole game particularly frustrating to play through, but it’s definitely Mona, being the lead character, who sticks in the mind most.

    The second issue is the dialogue. Aside from the fact that there’s far, far too much of it, it’s all rather clumsily written. Given that it’s an adventure game, dialogue is a key element, and for the game to have so much bad writing coming from the characters is a massive problem. The humour is never funny, the banter goes on way too long, the descriptions are much too detailed and you’ll end up just skipping most of the flavour text, which is a really bad sign.

    Another issue is that the art design, while beautiful to look at, makes it rather hard to see a lot of essential items, such as banners and hanging swords, most of which has a very frustrating habit of blending into the backgrounds. It adds an artificial level of difficulty to the game – or would, if there weren't the option to highlight all the interactive hotspots by holding the Tab key, a feature you will be using frequently.

    There are positives though, and it would be remiss of me not to mention them. The inventory system features a ‘remembrance’ system where Mona won’t actually pick up large objects but simply remember where they are, going back and getting them when you use an icon from your inventory representing them. It’s an idea that’s long been needed in adventure games, and it’s a most welcome feature.

    The puzzles themselves are also interesting, if nothing else. Unfortunately, they’re also rather complicated, and you need to jump onto the developer’s slightly twisted train of logic to have any hope of solving them. It’s not a problem solely restricted to this game – it’s endemic of the ‘comedy adventure’ genre – but some of the bizarre conundrums here will leave you stuck for ages until you give up and look up the answers online, which I don’t feel is a positive step.

    There’s potential here, but unfortunately it’s buried beneath a ton of odd design choices and a frankly terrible choice of VAs. It’s not too difficult to see why this planned opener for a trilogy never got its second game, because based on this one, it wouldn’t have been much fun at all.
  • edited October 2012
    ... Isn't this very nearly the same exact thing as the What are you currently playing thread?
  • VainamoinenVainamoinen Moderator
    edited October 2012
    Ohhhh and the "Rate the last game you finished thread" with a vengeance. :cool:
  • edited October 2012
    I downloaded a Neighbors from hell bundle from GOG ^_^

    I'll review the first game.

    It's freaking hilarious! And addicting! I can't believe that JoWood bankrupted despite the games' awesomeness...

    Gameplay is really simple and relaxing at first, until you get access to more rooms and until your lovely neighbor gets some pets. Things get very complicated then, and that's really good.

    Sometimes it's hard to find all objects you can use to trick your neighbor, and you lose some valuable time while searching for them. Also there are more than a few times you can't chain neighbor's tantrums because he cools off quickly, and you lose points. Then you have to replay the level again, and few more times if necessary, which can frustrate you quickly. Luckily, constant funny moments and (evil) grins you do and see with your neighbor makes you forget that.

    This game is awesome. Even one of the best I played in a long, long time...

    (Now I want to play Slender man. Where can I get it? :D )
  • edited October 2012
    been trying out various of the current PS+ free games.

    NFL Blitz: reminds me of the frustrations I had with this in the video arcade. While on defense, your selected player has no AI. With a Madden game, if you didn't touch the thumb stick, your selected player's AI would take over until you did so. Also, if the stats for a team says the opposing team's defense sucks and my team's offense is excellent, then they shouldn't be able to blitz through my offensive line every other play. Annoying, but not unplayable. Still--I'd rather play Madden.

    King of Fighters XIII: Story Mode has WAY too much story which displays on screen way too slowly. Am I watching a digital comic book or playing a fighting game? Also, the basic fighting controls are clunky and difficult to use. Terrible. I'd much rather play Street Fighter or Soul Calibur.

    Scott Pilgrim: Plays like a cross between Castle Crashers and River City Ransom. Pretty decent game. Not sure why I'd play this instead of Castle Crashers (which I already own).

    Ratchet & Clank:All4One: It's built from the ground up as a mutiplayer experience with little in the way of a single-player story mode, which I wasn't prepared for.

    PAC-MAN Championship DX: It's fun. It's PAC-MAN with a bit of twist and that's about it. But yeah, it's just PAC-MAN.

    Renegade Ops: Fun. Fun. Fun. Good times to be had with this. I like it.

    Double Dragon Neon: I've only seen a review for this as yet, but it's just a modern Double Dragon game. Another beat-em-up. Yay. =\

    Bloodrayne:Betrayal: I have the God of War saga. I want Castlevania: Lords of Shadow at some point. Why do I want to play this? [EDIT:]I didn't even look into what this game was. I assumed it was a 3D hack and slash game like the original Bloodrayne, but apparently it's a 2D action platformer. So, maybe it might be okay. [/EDIT]

    Outland:
    From what I hear, it's a platformer. With its own gimmick, I guess. So... yeah. It's probably okay.

    Little Big Planet 2: from what I hear, it's as different to LBP1 as Super Mario Galaxy 2 is to Super Mario Galaxy 1--which is to say it's different but the same, except that both Mario Galaxy games really are buckets of pure win. I have LBP1, which is...okay. It's not super fantastic. So why do I need this?

    Payday:The Heist: watched the IGN review. Something tells me I should buy instead of playing this.

    inFamous 2: not played inFamous 1 yet and I want to, so I remain purposefully in the dark on this one.

    So far, I'm not impressed with Playstation Plus.
  • JenniferJennifer Moderator
    edited October 2012
    I've been doing reviews of adventure games with monsters for my blog for Halloween:

    1) The Walking Dead: Starved For Help: I loved it. The choices didn't have the same game-altering effect as episode 1, and it would have been nice to have some more freedom of exploration, but the story, voice acting, art direction, and animation were all top notch. 4½ out of 5

    2) Hugo's House of Horrors. Didn't like it so much. Most of the puzzles are decent, but two are more annoying than fun. One requires you to know knowledge of older US pop culture, and the other one requires you to save and reload over and over until you just happen to get an enemy to get stuck in the right spot. The art is colorful, the characters are quirky, and the music is lively, but these two puzzles really turned me off on it. A remake would really help this one, with those two issues fixed it could be fun. But as it is, I don't recommend it. At least it's free. 2½ out of 5

    3) The Walking Dead: Long Road Ahead. Loved it even more than the last one. The episodes keep getting better and better. This one had some real heart-tugging moments, the voices of the characters really conveyed the heightened tensions, the animation was better than ever, and the art style shines as usual. It also had slightly more open areas for exploration, and the action scenes were more hands-on than the usual QTE's. I'm really loving this series so far. 4½ out of 5

    4) Metal Dead. Loved it. The characters have a nice cute chibi-style art style that contrasts nicely with the horrors going on around them, the music is nice (although I would have liked slightly more variation), the writing is fantastic (it's really funny, and not in a forced way), and the story is engaging. There's no voice acting, but the other elements more than make up for it. 4 out of 5

    And since no one ever visits The Adventuress forums, I'll ask here. Does anyone have any suggestions for more monster-themed adventure games for me to review? :)
  • edited October 2012
    Adventure games? Yeesh...

    - The 7th Guest and The 11th Hour might count... although they're more puzzle games than adventures.
    - Alter Ego, maybe? It's on Steam and looks like a Jekyll/Hyde thing. Be interesting.
    - There's an Are You Afraid of the Dark? game that I'd personally love to see you tackle, if you can track it down.
    - BEN JORDAN: PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR. There's like 7 games out, and they're all free. If you only look into one game (series), please let it be this one. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
    - The Black Mirror series? There's like three of them now, I think.
    - i don't know how 'Halloween'ish' the Blackwell games are, but I'm putting them out there. anyway.
    - Yahtzee's Chzo Mythos games (the X Days a X ones) would be good... and free.
    - Pretty much any Sherlock Holmes game would fit the bill (and please Coolsome, I'd wager).

    ...and I could go on, but I think that's enough.
  • edited October 2012
    Ben Jordan is like junk food to me. It's extremely melodramatic, but it has great choices for monsters and haunts, I enjoy it immensely, and it's like the B movies of the adventure game world.

    If only Grundislav could figure out friggin perspective in his background art. Definitely give it a look. They're not perfect, but you can tell a lot of work was put into them. The Chzo Mythos are some of the best adventure games ever made.
  • edited October 2012
    I'm still playing through God of War 1, and I must say that whomever told me (I think it was Fawful) that it's not that good because Kratos as a character is neither compelling, likeable, nor has any particularly apparent motivation is quite right from what I've seen so far.

    I've been playing through it and it just seems to get boring in places, not to mention that the enemies are cheap to attack when they swarm around you. Unfortunately, the God of War Saga which I bought comes in part with unlock codes for 2 downloadable games which I have already used, so I feel that I'm stuck with it. Otherwise I would have been compelled by now to have taken it back and bought Castlevania:Lords of Shadow instead.



    EDIT: Also, I must say that these "top selling PS3 games" or "best PS3 games" lists that I'm finding when looking for something to start my ps3 library out with... well, they're rubbish. I'm not British, but I still feel like what I want to say is that they're absolute bollocks.

    Seriously. If I go to a "top selling" list, it will list half of the games as brown shooters or sports games. When I looked for "top downloadable games" for PS3, one of the games listed is Pac-Man Championship DX. Well, I've played that game now, and you know what? It's just Pac-Man. It's Pac-Man with tons of ghosts and several time trial modes, but it's still just Pac-Man. I'm not saying I should have expected different, but I don't see why it should make somebody's top 10 list.


    I think I'm going to start asking around here what I should get before I get it, because God of War and Little Big Planet are both kinda boring, so I feel like I now need second opinions on what to buy from people who have more sense than whomever is making these lists.
  • edited October 2012
    Little Big Planet livens up when you see the imaginative levels other people come up with. It's a shame they don't allow remakes of other games, but then I suppose we don't want to see constant Mario levels.

    I concede that I'm really not a fan of the three plane thing. It feels cheaply used a lot of the time.
  • edited October 2012
    On the question why you should get LBP2, it's not really SMG -> SMG2. The focus on LBP2 lies more on the user created content than ever, and it's most noticeable by the fact that there was once a person who created an RTS in LBP2. It's not just user-created content, it's almost like a game maker.
  • edited October 2012
    I want to get back to movie reviews.


    http://callatimeout.blogspot.com/2012/10/dont-watch-this-movie-paranormal.html

    Don’t Watch This Movie: Paranormal Activity



    It’s Halloween. You’re ready to be scared. You grab your girlfriend, go to the movies, and get ready to endure one of the most frightening experiences of your youthful life: Movie ticket prices. Because the gods know you won’t be experiencing any scares during Paranormal Activity 4. Let’s be straight about this from the start, PA4 has about as much originality as the last few SAW films. I mean, there are only so many ways you can beat a horse before its undead corpse rises from the grave in a vengeful fit of retaliation. And bloody hell does this corpse fight back.

    For those of you who’ve been paying attention to the lore of the Paranormal Activity series (though let’s be honest, who gives a damn), there’s a coven of witches that endows that go about finding successors and possessing children with spirits. That wasn’t too clear in PA1, it came out a bit more clearly in PA2, and by PA3 we were having full on witch-on-broomstick flights of fancy. We learned the entire family we’d been witnessing was descended from witches who’d chosen the two main sisters of the films, and now that curse has been passed onto the boys.

    I don’t want to spoil the film for you if you’re planning to watch it (and why would you when this article is titled DON’T WATCH THIS MOVIE), but some secrets are revealed, and new ones unleashed. Apparently the witches are now part zombie or something, like they thought they needed to merge the series with parts of the Quarantine films, creating some horrific pastiche. It’s like some new meta approach to horror, where the movie itself isn’t scary, but the method of creating it is.

    Anyway, the best part of the movie is watching the Xbox Kinect they play with, because at that point PS3 fans started booing in a moment of nerd solidarity. Wii users, which we know don’t really exist, were appropriately silent. PA4 does dabble in some interesting elements, such as using the infrared from the Xbox sensor as a way to pick up on ghost movement, but it’s never really enough to scare. There are some tense moments when you’re wondering if someone’s going to get cut by a knife from the sky like God’s holy vengeance, but you never really feel frightened. The moment that made me jump the most was when someone almost got hit by a Prius, and if that’s the only way the movie’s going to scare me I’ll go load up on alcohol and watch World’s Deadliest Police Chases.

    No, for most of the film you’ll be watching asleep in their beds, like a pervert who can justify their bad habit as a form of ‘ghost hunting’. Yeah, nobody wants to know about the spirits you’re seeking, sicko. In fact, the main male figure of the movie comes across like a creepy teen stalker by the way he sees and records every detail of his girlfriends existence due to their cam chats over the computer. So nerds everywhere, rejoice. You too can hope of seeing breasts at some point in your lifetime, as long as you remember to convince her to keep the webcam on so he can hunt ghosts.
  • edited October 2012
    GaryCXJk wrote: »
    On the question why you should get LBP2, it's not really SMG -> SMG2. The focus on LBP2 lies more on the user created content than ever, and it's most noticeable by the fact that there was once a person who created an RTS in LBP2. It's not just user-created content, it's almost like a game maker.
    The issue is not whether I would make any games with LBP2, because most likely I would not.

    The question is whether any of the user-created games are good, and how easily it is to find the good ones among the festering piles of crap. Also, of course, if it's worth buying the game when such searching through crap is necessary.
  • edited October 2012
    DAISHI wrote: »
    I want to get back to movie reviews.


    http://callatimeout.blogspot.com/2012/10/dont-watch-this-movie-paranormal.html

    Don’t Watch This Movie: Paranormal Activity
    I agree. Don't watch the theatrical version, nor the alternate-ending version of Paranormal Activity.

    Buy the DVD for legal purposes and instead watch the actual Director's Cut of Paranormal Activity, which is currently only available via torrent. The order of events flows better and makes more sense, there's no CGI, and the ending is way better. How do you know if you have the right version? The director's cut's ending has police officers being shown.

    Paranormal Activity 2 is decent, while not quite as good as the director's cut of 1 (though much better than the theatrical version of 1).

    3 is crap. I promise you this.

    4 is also crap, or so I hear.
  • edited October 2012
    Chyron8472 wrote: »
    I agree. Don't watch the theatrical version, nor the alternate-ending version of Paranormal Activity.

    Buy the DVD for legal purposes and instead watch the actual Director's Cut of Paranormal Activity, which is currently only available via torrent. The order of events flows better and makes more sense, there's no CGI, and the ending is way better. How do you know if you have the right version? The director's cut's ending has police officers being shown.

    Paranormal Activity 2 is decent, while not quite as good as the director's cut of 1 (though much better than the theatrical version of 1).

    3 is crap. I promise you this.

    4 is also crap, or so I hear.

    I totally agree with you. That said, this review was of PA4. Don't know how the 4 got cut off.
  • edited October 2012
    Chyron8472 wrote: »
    Bloodrayne:Betrayal: I have the God of War saga. I want Castlevania: Lords of Shadow at some point. Why do I want to play this?
    I didn't even look into what this game was. I assumed it was a 3D hack and slash game like the original Bloodrayne, but apparently it's a 2D action platformer.


    So, maybe it might be okay.
  • edited October 2012
    Cloud Atlas

    “Our lives are not our own, we are bound to others, past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.”

    Have you ever watched a movie and, when you're leaving the theater, just said "Damn it!" to yourself? Not because you're disappointed, but because, in the words of Will Ferrell, you're "Mind Bottled", with all your thoughts trapped in your head like a bottle? Welcome to Cloud Atlas, my friend. From start to finish, this film is a quilt patched together from about five different storylines, three different major themes and a dose of confusion so heavy you'll be left wondering if you just attended a Mitt Romney seminar on truth telling.

    But seriously, it's easier for me to tear apart a bad film than to think on the merits of a film that aimed ludicrously high and occasionally scraped it, while also dregging through some of the pits of film making. Let's be real clear here, everything you might have heard is true. Hugo Weaving plays a typical bad guy type, in addition to an overweight, overbearing female nurse as well as a demonic leprechaun.

    You've also got Tom Hanks talking in an initially almost incomprehensible version of future English as well as a crazy Irish accent, among others. You've got white men playing Koreans, and perhaps more insanely, black men playing Koreans. I'm not saying you can't be black and Korean, but the ethnic jive here is just nuts. That's beside the point, though. My advice? Buy into the universe. Accept those elements are a commentary on reincarnation or reoccurring themes that everyone in life deals with. Because this movie has something to offer.

    First of all, the action, when it happens, is awesome. There aren't a lot of other movies where an action sequence will split between three or four different actions scenes occurring in entirely different realities. Off the top of my head, Inception is one of them. In Cloud Atlas, you have a futuristic laser battle parsing between a stowaway slave avoiding gunshots while a 1970s car chase goes down between elderly runaways steal a car. What the hell?

    The action scenes aren't just good. The story takes place over thousands of years, so you see boats sailing in the colonial Caribbean, mansions in old Europe, Blade Runner style future cities and a post apocalyptic Hawaii, complete with ships that look like they were designed by aliens and satellite communication systems that unfold like Lotus flowers.

    I have a quote at the top of this review, though, and it sums up the movie beautifully. I found myself quoting it last night, more than 24 hours after I'd left the theater. That's one sign, to me, of a good film. The film tells six separate stories in six separate time periods, but ties them together with the common theme that how we act and what we do can have repercussions on those around us, as well as those who come after this. Interspersed in all of this is the notion of reincarnation, that we live on. That's one reason you have actors taking on multiple roles throughout the film. The truly important notion, though, of how we affect each other and can resonate far beyond our lifetimes, is important. I have caught reviews saying that it's trite, and that it's played out. Well, played out to who? Don't we need reminding that our lives have an impact beyond ourselves? Don't new generations need to be told this? Yeah, there are some artistic choices that will bother people. The reuse of actors, some of the accents. They're unimportant to the main thrust of the film though. There's a story of lovers separated by disease and distance, of lovers separated by culture and circumstance, of people who loved for only a moment before being separated by disaster, of love separated by time and fate, of love separated by warfare, and finally love that brings it all to a satisfying conclusion. It's love and courage, recurring human traits in the face of recurring human evil, an eternal battle that never ends but is constantly waged. Humanity may repeat itself, in many ways and lifetimes, but the things we do can have an impact on those who come after, and affect whether they may triumph or not.
  • JenniferJennifer Moderator
    edited October 2012
    Adventure games? Yeesh...

    - BEN JORDAN: PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR. There's like 7 games out, and they're all free. If you only look into one game (series), please let it be this one. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

    ...and I could go on, but I think that's enough.
    Thanks for all the suggestions. :D I followed your advice above and reviewed:

    Monster Review 5: Ben Jordan: In Search of the Skunk-Ape. I loved it. The voice acting was pretty good for a free fan game (the voice of the protester wasn't). The puzzles were good, I really enjoyed one in particular at the end for going outside of the box. The story was interesting, it managed to mix comedy and serious tones well. I liked the Sierra-esque design choices, and the references to those games. I didn't like how the voice and subtitles couldn't be on the screen at the same time (you had to uncheck voice pack in the setup program for subtitles). Overall, one of the best free games I've played. 4 out of 5

    Monster Review 6: The Walking Dead: Around Every Corner. I really loved it. It does everything better than any episode before it. The action scenes feel more like part of the game and less like a mini-game, there's more exploring and more casual adventure puzzles, your decisions and actions in previous games matter here more than before, there's another life and death choice the likes of which haven't been seen since episode 1, the voice acting is great as usual, as is the graphics, animation, and sound effects. This is the best casual adventure episode that Telltale has ever made. 4½ out of 5

    I decided to continue my Monster Reviews until The Day of The Dead on November 2nd. 15cg329.png

    Monster Review 7: Doctor Who: The Gunpowder Plot. I really liked this one. The voice acting was much better (with the understandable exception of Arthur Darvill as Rory, as this was his first video game role), the music and sound effects from the television series were used to great effect in the game, the storyline was interesting, as were the two classic Doctor Who aliens (who were written true to their roots). It also had more adventure style inventory puzzles (although nothing difficult), and the casual adventure puzzles were varied and not monotonous. Definitely the best episode of Doctor Who: The Adventure Games. 4 out of 5

    Monster Review 8: Ben Jordan: The Lost Galleon of the Salton Sea. I liked it even better than the first. It's longer, the voice acting is slightly better, the puzzles are just as interesting as the last (and it has a few puzzles that think outside of the box again, which I liked), there's more music (since there's more locations), the storyline is interesting, and the characters are just as varied as the first. Like the first case, it's one of the best free adventure games I've played. 4 out of 5

    Monster Review 9: Maniac Mansion. The first adventure game I ever completed, and one of my favorites. I tried my best to remove the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia and review the game for what it is, flaws and all. I reviewed all of the versions in a mega review. Even though the fan made Maniac Mansion Deluxe slims down the interface, adds inventory icons, adds item descriptions, and removes a few dead ends, I still prefer the Nintendo Entertainment System version the best (despite it's censorship, although the PC version already had censorship over the original C64 version). The NES version adds additional ways to win the game. Plus, the music fits the B-movie atmosphere. The Deluxe version used the Day of the Tentacle music, which fit with the Saturday Morning Cartoon style of Day of The Tentacle, but just didn't fit with Maniac Mansion. The NES version played in ScummVM with mouse controls is the best choice to play Maniac Mansion, in my opinion. 4 out of 5
  • edited November 2012
    SiN Episodes: Emergence - 7/10

    Not entirely sure why I felt the need to play this, but I did and enjoyed it. Actually finished it this time too! Woo!

    It's not a bad game, but it suffers from a few problems. First, the action is far too repetitive. I know it's supposed to be the first in a series of episodic titles, but every firefight ended up going exactly the same way until the last hour, when the minigun enemies were introduced and I started swearing profusely because they took off half my health before I could duck behind cover. Fuckers.

    Second, the plot is confusing. You're essentially thrown into the action with no explanation of what's going on or why you're doing what you're doing. If you never played the first game you don't know who anyone is, and if you did then the re-appearance of Elexis and her sudden acquisition of a Eastern European henchman is baffling, as is your new sidekick who we're supposed to care about despite not knowing one single thing about her. The plot of the game eventually reveals itself to essentially be a retread of the one from the first game, but even then it's never actually explained - I just noticed it was as I was playing through.

    Third, the weapons. Pistol, Shotgun, Machine Gun. That's all you get. BORING.

    Fourth, it outstays its welcome. By about an hour, to be exact. Which is ironic, given the supposed episodic style it was intended to be. We go from docks to a factory to a lab in a boat(seriously) to a sky-high building with little breathing space. The preview of the non-existent second episode implied we'd be in the city, which would have been a welcome change of pace. Oh well.

    But overall, it's still a fun game, as all the SiN games are. And I still think it's a shame it never got to finish the story it started. But never mind. At least we got what we got.
  • JenniferJennifer Moderator
    edited November 2012
    My monster review month is over, but I'm still playing the Ben Jordan games. I'm really hooked on them - thanks for letting me know about them Darth Marsden. :)

    Ben Jordan: The Sorceress of Smailholm. I really loved it. It doesn't have voice work, and the character portraits are a bit jarring in style after being used to the deluxe versions of case 1 and 2, but everything else about it is stellar. It had a longer story, less one-dimensional characters, challenging, but fun puzzles (especially the one that could be solved with or without the game's manual, that's really retro :D), theatrical style cutscenes and music, and multiple endings. This one's my favorite one yet. 4½ out of 5
  • edited November 2012
    I'm curious to know which ending you preferred.
  • JenniferJennifer Moderator
    edited November 2012
    I'm curious to know which ending you preferred.
    Both endings have their merits. The ending that gives you less points is actually pretty interesting
    considering that's the only ending where the professor actually witnesses paranormal activity with his own eyes. The extra puzzle with the locked room was fun too (and the fact that the constable was revealed to be horrible at tying knots explained why Ben was able to struggle enough to escape from being tied to a stake in the other ending).
    Overall, I think I prefer the other ending though.
    The vampire-witch sacrificing Mary makes him a much more appalling character, and makes you want to kill him even more. The stake through the heart was a much more rewarding death to me (although the beheading ending also fit the vampire mythos, or so I've been taught by watching Angel ;)). I also liked the fact that Ben and the Professor learned of the death of the townspeople together in that ending, rather than the professor seeing them turn to dust without Ben... It was a bit weird that they didn't turn to dust in the other ending though, although I suppose it's because of the different methods used to kill the vampire-witch.
    It was definitely worth playing through both endings though.
  • edited November 2012
    I should really set the 'ol PS2 up and play that again. (Paradise was a bit disappointing in comparison)
    Chyron8472 wrote: »
    Because of what they did to crash mode, or because the path you should take during races isn't made clearly enough in advance?
    Both of those

    I played Burnout Paradise last night, and I can see where RetroVortex might take issue with it. Racing at break-neck speeds through a busy open-world setting can make for pretty frequent crashes.

    The game is seriously fun, though.

    My favorite car is KITT from the Knight Rider reboot.
  • edited November 2012
    Assassins Creed 3

    You know, before Assassins Creed 3, I could just rate my favorite games simply. From favorite to least favorite it's 2, revelations, brotherhood, 1(1 is only low because it was actually a stealth game and I wasn't a big fan of how it was done, nothing wrong with it), but now thanks to this game, I can't. I have to rate games into catagories.

    Story: AC2, AC3, AC1, AC:B, AC:R.

    Freeroaming AC3, AC2, AC:R, AC:B, AC1

    Missions: AC2, AC:R, AC1, AC:B, AC3


    I can't place AC3 anywhere because while it is the best freeroaming game yet, it has had the WORST missions I have ever seen in an AC game and one of the worsts in gaming in general. Why?

    It thinks it's a stealth game! Assassins Creed always has had stealth yes, AC1 was more stealth, and AC2 did a decent blend, but AC3 has very little to no stelath elements, but still puts them in. Yes I can now blend into crowds easier but... where are they in the missions? Haybales? Anything? Oh, I can hide behind walls. yay? Half the missions are either forced stealth, or implied to be stealth and the game constantly criticizes me for not preferring stealth. Sorry I can't air assassinate someone without being caught with only a bush to work with! And then Connor won't even go into the freaking bush half the time anyway!

    Or an easedrop mission where there is always one spot where they wait. Problem, THERE ARE NO HIDING SPOTS TO GO TO! I had to throw money all over the place in the hopes 2 people were to find me and I could blend. That isn't stealth, that's poor game design. And that is one of the better missions! Sometimes I'm forced in crappy chase sequences, where the game fails me for shooting the person and killing them right there, but then when I finally chase the guy, I kill him anyway in a cutscene! That isn't good game design, that's just laziness.

    And back to the chase sequences, sure, having people line up for a wall to push me down is clever, but could it be... not mandatory for me to be pushed down? No seriously, one time it was 2 people lined up to push me, I shot them both(you can get 2 guns) and the game couldn't comprehend that you can get past them without getting pushed, so they both popped right back to push me! WTF!



    So in terms of missions, it was the worst thing I've ever played, but it isn't all missions thank god!

    The game itself beyond missions is amazing. I love being able to run around and pick fights. The new animations all are great to watch, and I am always enjoying myself when I am out hunting animals, fighting soldiers, or doing the side quests. Because those don't suck unlike other missions. You want to save a farmer from soldiers? Don't need him to tell you in a cut-scene, just go to a farm, he'll go "help" and the mission has started! An action mission, because unlike the rest, this game is focused on action, not a mix between the two.

    That is amazing and I love it, story is great too, but one thing.

    The ending.
    now, before I say anything, I should just say one aspect of the ending. Not Desmond's death, Juno taking over, or the fact that they could've just checked Connor's house and have found the key there the entire time(that does need mention though), but one specific thing. Did the temple really just have a... save the world button? Really? Yes it killed Desmond and caused Juno to rise in power, but... it was a save the world button still. Not exactly an epic conclusion...


    So aside from some VERY major issues, AC3 is still a great sandbox and what looks like a great multiplayer to boot. Just be warned that most missions are poorly designed
  • edited November 2012
    This review is only about the Halo 4 campaign, not multiplayer.

    I have enjoyed every Halo campaign until now. I expected better. That is not to say the campaign was irredeemably bad. There were good parts: Cortana’s psychological breakdown, the Mantis, the Prometheans (at first), Promethean weaponry, Promethean vision, the deployable automatic sentry, the elevator shaft climb in the first level, the mammoth (which makes the Elephant from Halo 3 look like a bicycle), and the skulls that are all available for use before game completion. However, the good parts were outweighed by various problems.

    Firstly, I was confused about the plot. I have played every Halo game campaign, so I am familiar with the general plot. I played the Halo 4 campaign with the subtitles on, so I heard and read every word of dialogue. After completing the Halo 4 campaign, I conclude it was about something relating to a Didact, Forerunners, and humans-turned-Prometheans. I have not read every Halo book. If I did, I am confident the Halo 4 plot would make sense, but that is a lot to expect from a casual gamer. The Call of Duty series publishes a game every year, yet each game has an understandable plot. Halo 3 was released in 2007. Five years later, an understandable plot wasn’t developed, except for the most hardcore Halo readers. I don’t have data about how many gamers care about plot, but I do, especially when I repeatedly wonder “what is my objective?” I don’t understand the overall plot, so the objectives along the way are fuzzy. The game ended with a nuclear explosion that Master Chief somehow survived. I don’t know how an increasingly dysfunctional AI could protect a person holding a detonating nuclear device.

    Secondly, the Prometheans were interesting at first, but quickly became repetitive. The Covenant consists of many members (grunts, jackals, elites, hunters). The Prometheans consist of Knights and their running dogs. The little variety contributed to boring battles.

    Thirdly, the game seemed shorter. There are only 10 levels, but two of them are videos (the prologue and epilogue).

    There is probably more I could say, but I am struggling to think of every bad thing. At some point, the poor plot, repetitive Promethean fights, and shorter game length zapped the joy playing. I finished the game because I bought it and maybe the game would have improved. It didn’t.

    If you want to play a fun action game, play Counter-Strike: Global Offensive or Happy Wars. I suspect Call of Duty: Black Ops II won’t disappoint me.
  • edited November 2012
    No Assassin's Creed game is a stealth game. It's always too easy to just kill all the guards.
  • edited November 2012
    Some days I can't stand game reviewers.

    GameSpot's review of Burnout Paradise whines about DJ Atomika and about how crap the ingame music is.

    It's rock music. For a fast-paced racing game. What's the problem??
    The music in Burnout Paradise is good. I like it.

    I want to say that I should stop paying attention to game reviewers, but how does that help me to know the good games from the bad or the great games from the okay ones before I buy them?
  • edited November 2012
    I hate Gamespot's review of Infamous 2, It's one of my favorite PS3 games and most of their complaints are nitpicks.
  • edited November 2012
    I hate Gamespot's review of Infamous 2, It's one of my favorite PS3 games and most of their complaints are nitpicks.
    Wow. The guy doing the video review does a terrible job.

    It's like he's saying "inFamous 2 is bad. Listen while I complain at length about the nature of Assassin's-Creed-style free-roaming and how the moral decisions are like Fable instead of The Witcher, because grey moral choices are obviously better than black and white ones. ...oh, there are plenty of awesome aspects to the games, but I'll use a monotonal voice and make it sound like I'm just reading a script to you so the great bits still sound like they suck."

    Meanwhile, IGN's review says "The game is fantastic. Buy it. PLEASE. Play the first game first though, because the story is good and the second game follows it."


    This reminds me of GameSpot's review of Skyward Sword in which the reviewer gave it a 7.5 (which is a mediocre score from them) for the fact that he's trying to use the controls as if he were playing Twilight Princess and fails miserably at understanding how and why they're different.
  • edited November 2012
    Chyron8472 wrote: »
    Wow. The guy doing the video review does a terrible job.

    It's like he's saying "inFamous 2 is bad. Listen while I complain at length about the nature of Assassin's-Creed-style free-roaming and how the moral decisions are like Fable instead of The Witcher, because grey moral choices are obviously better than black and white ones. ...oh, there are plenty of awesome aspects to the games, but I'll use a monotonal voice and make it sound like I'm just reading a script to you so the great bits still sound like they suck."

    Meanwhile, IGN's review says "The game is fantastic. Buy it. PLEASE. Play the first game first though, because the story is good and the second game follows it."


    This reminds me of GameSpot's review of Skyward Sword in which the reviewer gave it a 7.5 (which is a mediocre score from them) for the fact that he's trying to use the controls as if he were playing Twilight Princess and fails miserably at understanding how and why they're different.

    Yeah for example the guy complains about how the screen goes black and white when Cole is low on health but its in other games like Uncharted!
  • edited November 2012
    Okay, so I've been playing Burnout Paradise quite a bit now, and I discovered that there is indeed a way to immediately restart your current/last event. It's right there in the Easy Drive menu (push right on the d-pad during gameplay.)

    GameSpot and IGN both said a flaw in the game is that there is no way made available to restart events when you fail. I wonder how many people believed them and didn't buy the game because of this.
  • edited November 2012
    It's possible their review copies didn't have this feature and it was added last minute / via a patch.

    I doubt it though.
  • edited November 2012
    Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse. 4/10

    Boring. Very, very boring. Functional (just about), but boring. It's one of the most repetitive, tiresome games I've played in quite some time. The dialogue snippets (which I reuse to believe weren't ripped straight from the episodes) are repeated over and over again, the combat is exactly the same no matter which 'verse you were in, the levels are linear as hell and it just gets old SO quickly.

    Still better than the first game though.
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