I have a feeling you guys will like this segment of my story, once I'm done with it. It really goes in depth on Asim's mental state. I hope to finish it tomorrow, because I've got to get some sleep.
Details: She and Luke were all that was left, with everyday a struggle to survive and reach a place of safety in the north that was too many miles away to count. So often Clementine had seen it happen, death claiming the lives of friends or complete and utter strangers, the lives she failed to save…and now, it was her turn.
Details: The worst always seemed to have a way of creeping up on them when they least expected it. How often had that happened? Getting so close death and escaping by the skin of their teeth? Luck had everything to do with it, yet Clementine never felt lucky about surviving. Because often than not, it was somebody else who got killed instead, and she was the one left behind grieving them…
Here you go, and please be gentle.
Title: Growing Pains
Characters: Clementine, Luke
Genres: Friendship/Hurt/Comfort
Rating: M… moreature
"I’m sorry…"
[Part 1/3]
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10181591/1/Growing-Pains
Details: She and Luke were all that was left, with everyday a struggle to survive and reach a place of safety in the north that was too many miles away to count. So often Clementine had seen it happen, death claiming the lives of friends or complete and utter strangers, the lives she failed to save…and now, it was her turn.
“Come on, you gotta eat something…”
[Part 2/3]
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10181591/2/Growing-Pains
Details: The worst always seemed to have a way of creeping up on them when they least expected it. How often had that happened? Getting so close death and escaping by the skin of their teeth? Luck had everything to do with it, yet Clementine never felt lucky about survivin… [view original content]
First say thanks for the share this has been probably one of the best fanfic's I ever read just breathtaking
Growing Pains Chapter 1 things I liked
Dark theme was brilliant represented thorough whole story
Realistic within TWD universe
All characters behaved exactly like they were in the game
Description and grammar were perfect felt right in the moment in every scene
Spacing made it so easy to read and was it so entertaining even long length felt so short just exceptional
Liked dream sequences so unique and original very imaginative just genius writing
Going forward and back to moments was brilliant seeing flashbacks of how she learned to deal with situations was so cool to read the way you filled in gaps in the game just superb
Kept tension high whole chapter on the edge on my seat whole time
Loved the way story moved from different points every few sentences never staying in one spot for long period of time making the story more entertaining and fast paced.
Fearless approach to storytelling were not afraid to curse or write about so pretty horrific scenes making the reader really expect the unexpected as were not scared to write about anything
Favorite part
Clem bite and whole segment with her cutting her arm off so shocking and surprising well described on the edge of my seat genius writing
Clem shooting Nate again so shocking and well described loved it
But had so many probably whole thing
Things I didn't like
Poor Clem but apart from that perfection your very talented
Rating
9.5
Recommend all users read this story just perfect
Growing Pains Chapter 2
Another superb installment just feel honoured to read so well done do my review by will be shorter as things I liked in previous chapter are mostly same here but name extra points like about this chapter
Things I Liked
Brilliant character development and character depth in this chapter making the death scenes harder to take
Built tension slowly making the action scenes more intense
Little moments of happiness and little jokes found really beautiful during all the troubles
Action packed like watching a movie rather then reading a fanfic so fun and well written like a movie playing in my head so cool
Addition of the baby definitely added great new dimension to the story
Loved writing technique for the story arc give the reader false hope then pull the carpet from underneath them exactly like TWD
Favorite moments
Clem seeing the baby the brief of happiness was just beautiful to read
Nick being bitten and death segment build his character so well at this point I was just gutted and his send off nearly had me tears just sensational writing
Nicky dying This nearly killed me poor baby only hope in Clem and Lukes life dead glad had the bravery to write it so unexpected and heartbreaking
Carver introduction and Death: Love villains and had psychology element I loved it edge of my seat stuff then Luke shooting Carver so badass just superb also seeing Clem being beaten was hard reading because so well written
Christa: Brilliant way to end the story so sad for christa
Here you go, and please be gentle.
Title: Growing Pains
Characters: Clementine, Luke
Genres: Friendship/Hurt/Comfort
Rating: M… moreature
"I’m sorry…"
[Part 1/3]
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10181591/1/Growing-Pains
Details: She and Luke were all that was left, with everyday a struggle to survive and reach a place of safety in the north that was too many miles away to count. So often Clementine had seen it happen, death claiming the lives of friends or complete and utter strangers, the lives she failed to save…and now, it was her turn.
“Come on, you gotta eat something…”
[Part 2/3]
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10181591/2/Growing-Pains
Details: The worst always seemed to have a way of creeping up on them when they least expected it. How often had that happened? Getting so close death and escaping by the skin of their teeth? Luck had everything to do with it, yet Clementine never felt lucky about survivin… [view original content]
Going start reading part 2 in about 15 minutes but can just say you have potential to be professional writer I was just blown away well done. Real pleasure reading that thanks for the share always try give decent reviews
Thank you for taking the time to read the first part. It's nice hearing in detail about the little things [I could hug you right now ;__; ]
And it's funny you say that actually, I'm currently writing a book. It's been my little dream for a while. Although I judge myself too hardly on it with every little thing that I do [even in fanfics I'm constantly going back and revising stuff over] I really need to learn to just chill and not stress myself out.
Going start reading part 2 in about 15 minutes but can just say you have potential to be professional writer I was just blown away well done. Real pleasure reading that thanks for the share always try give decent reviews
Listen no thank you for the share the least I can do
Can just say seriously your on the right track and truly believe if you work hard enough you will make it to the top nothing wrong with being a perfectionist also I am one myself shows have passion for what your doing and keeps myself always pushing for better I believe it's good trait.
Thank you for taking the time to read the first part. It's nice hearing in detail about the little things [I could hug you right now ;__; ]
… more
And it's funny you say that actually, I'm currently writing a book. It's been my little dream for a while. Although I judge myself too hardly on it with every little thing that I do [even in fanfics I'm constantly going back and revising stuff over] I really need to learn to just chill and not stress myself out.
Have you been writing for long?
Listen no thank you for the share the least I can do
Can just say seriously your on the right track and truly believe if you work hard en… moreough you will make it to the top nothing wrong with being a perfectionist also I am one myself shows have passion for what your doing and keeps myself always pushing for better I believe it's good trait.
Right finished the review I edited my review and added it on. Thanks for writing and make sure comment here and remind me when part 3 is out CANT WAIT. Also write any story here if you want or just read storys on the thread there all awesome anyway thanks
As promised to Tobi TWD and TWAU crossover
Chapter 1 The Walking Bigby
Bigby arrived in Cranes office he was in clear distress shaking… more "Bigby I need you to investigate urgently" Crane said. "Why" Bigby responded. Crane looked at Bigby with fear in his eyes " There's been outbreak of a mundy virus affecting fables you see because of our immune system we become a zombie only for a limited time when infected till we recover to normal again. But if a fable when in zombie state during that short period bites a human it creates a supervirus making the human a fable zombie and because the virus is more powerful more brain is kept in use making the zombies able to use their fable powers. But most horrifying of all humans don't have the same immune system as us so it creates a permanent fable zombie. It's spreading quickly Bigby if you don't go out and stop the spread by time the fable zombies reach Fabletown we will have no chance and most cert… [view original content]
It's a good story.
I'm impressed how you were able to bring Joel and Ellie, Lee and Clementine together.
To combined their stories, and make it exciting and creative.
My congratulations to sir, on a story well done!
Title: Reasons.
Setting: Las Vegas NV, San Jose California.
Timeline: 12, 15 & 17 years since season 2.
Main characters: Kenny, Clementine.
Subject: Hope and perseverance.
( I hope you enjoy it).
As the sun sets over the great city, once known as one the entertainment captals of the world, now little more than a ghost town, two lone figures, an elderly man and a young woman, walk it's deserted streets.
Kenny and Clementine, walking with weapons in hand, begin to look for a secure place to bed down for the night.
Aside from gathering supplies, their main goal, while here, is to possibly find a car that's operational, allowing to drive the rest of the way, as opposed to going on foot, as they have been doing since their sojourn began.
Since their reunion, 12 years earlier, the two have been traveling together.
They have traveled across many states, and passed through many towns and cities, on their way towards California, in search for a place of safety.
Having been on their journey for over 5 years, ever since Wellington turned out to be a dead end, the two have seen much hardship and suffering.
They have encountered many people, both good and bad.
And have killed walkers in the thousands.
Kenny, now at 57 years old, stands atop the intersecting freeways once known as the spaghetti bowl, and peers out over the horizon.
Clementine now 23 yrs old, has grown into a beautiful woman.
She joins Kenny at his side, and the two watch as the sun begins to set, watching it's orange raise shine across the abandoned cars and decaying buildings.
A gentle breeze begins to blow, refulling their hair.
Walkers, can be seen in the distance, searching for anything they can find.
Ordinarily, the two would never stand out in the open like this.
But sight of the sun, setting over mount Charleston and Red Rock Canyon, has brought them a moment of peace.
Kenny turns to Clementine and says: " Soon Clem, we'll be in California, where hopefully we can find a place we can stay permanently. A place where we can not only survive, but also live and thrive."
Clementine looks at Kenny, with a look of doubt and says: "Do you really believe that Kenny? After all the shit we've been through over the past 12 years, and all the people we've known who have died, Lee, Luke, Nick, Alvin, and all the things we've had to do to survive, what's the point in believing there's still hope?''
" I've lost people too Clem. Katja, Duck, Sarita, as you are well aware. People I loved! I understand the guilt you are feeling, that you have lived while they died," Kenny replies.
" One thing I've learned in my 57 years, is that you cannot give up. No matter how bad things get, you continually find a reason to go on. Things eventually do work out."
Having found an old abandoned big rig truck to sleep in, Kenny crawls into it, ready to hunker down for the night.
Clementine, still staring out over the overpass, reflects on Kenny's words.
Her mind begins to drift back to days of long ago.
Kenny, standing by the truck, watches Clementine looking out over the horizon.
Having in effect raised her as his own, not a day has gone by where he hasn't been concerned for her and her wellbeing. Nor anything He wouldn't do to protect her.
And now, having made such a grueling trek across the country, with many miles still left to go, Kenny begins stroking his long grey beard, nervously awaiting her response, as to whether she will go on or not.
After a long wait, Clementine turns, looks at Kenny and smiles, letting him know that she has rediscovered her reason for living.
Kenny returns the smile and the two crawl into the truck, shutting the doors, as the sound of walkers approach.
6 months later, Kenny and Clementine, have made their way to San Jose California.
Having taken refuge on the grounds of the San Jose university college, the two, along with 10 other survivors, have begun forting up the place, building walls to secure the place.
Using Spartan Stadium , they begin to plant crops and vegetables. Along with building water towers to catch the rain.
While places like the Dr. MLK library continue to serve as a place of education.
Though having to contend with walkers, and violent gangs in the area, the group manages to stand firm, and build a life for themselves.
Over time, under Kenny and Clemintine's leadership, the group grows to over 20, including women and children.
Not only does the group survive, but also thrive, not only constructing aquiducts, but also learning how to harness wind and solar energy from blue prints found in the library.
After 3 years of their dwelling there, Kenny finds a new girlfriend, a 29 year old stunning blonde woman named Kelly, who had gone to this university during her college days.
The next year, they have a little boy whom they name Lee, in honor of Kenny's old pal.
Clementine assists with taking care of the boy, whenever Kenny is away directing different projects around the school.
After 5 years, the community has grown up to thirty-five strong.
During the summer harvest, crops are plentiful, water has proven to be adequate, and everyone is enjoying the quality of life they have.
While life is not perfect, the group has learned how to cope.
With new solid 20 ft high/ 2 ft thick concrete walls the group have managed to construct, under Kenny's direction, the threat of walkers is nearly a thing of the past.
Kenny, Clementine, her new 45 year old husband Jim, and his 70 year old father Dave, have formed a group counsel.
The counsel operates well, and with Jim's background as a policeman, Jim takes the lead in training the others in the group how to operate firearms.
And with Dave's background as a doctor, helping in child births, plus giving the group sound medical advice on how to stay healthy, the group's health does well.
One summer afternoon, a 6 month pregnant Clementine from atop the library, looks out over the community.
She watches a 62 year old Kenny, working on one of the new cars the community has managed to salvage.
While her husband, along with others, are harvesting apples from the apple orchard the group had planted the year before.
Remembering Kenny's words, over the spaghetti bowl in Vegas about how everything would work out, Clementine at 28 years old, looks out over the community and smiles.
It's a good story.
I'm impressed how you were able to bring Joel and Ellie, Lee and Clementine together.
To combined their stories, and make it exciting and creative.
My congratulations to sir, on a story well done!
Love it think it's brilliant have to finish it MOAR then do a full review just make sure put THE END when your finished so I know to start but so far superb
Here's my story.
Title: Reasons.
Setting: Las Vegas NV, San Jose California.
Timeline: 12, 15 & 17 years since season 2.
Main char… moreacters: Kenny, Clementine.
Subject: Hope and perseverance.
( I hope you enjoy it).
As the sun sets over the great city, once known as one the entertainment captals of the world, now little more than a ghost town, two lone figures, an elderly man and a young woman, walk it's deserted streets.
Kenny and Clementine, walking with weapons in hand, begin to look for a secure place to bed down for the night.
Aside from gathering supplies, their main goal, while here, is to possibly find a car that's operational, allowing to drive the rest of the way, as opposed to going on foot, as they have been doing since their sojourn began.
Since their reunion, 12 years earlier, the two have been traveling together.
They have traveled across many states, and passed through many towns and cities, on their way… [view original content]
Insanity: Burnin' and Lootin'. Chapter 2 I need to get some sleep, but I would feel like shit if I didn't post up this story before I did.
After a little applied pressure, the door swung open, and hit against the wall. Asim brought his crowbar back to a defensive position, ready to swing at any walking corpses that dared to go near him, but just as he expected: nothing inside. He let out a sigh and scanned the room. It was a small motel room, a white tiled bathroom in the back, covered in pieces of trash from the nearby tipped over trashcan, and a bed. Asim got down in a prone position and checked under the bed, nothing but a towel. “Maybe there’s a mini-fridge, somewhere.” He said to himself as he started to lose faith that this room contained any useful supplies. He looked over his shoulder at a wooden paneled closet, and slowly brought his firefighter ax out, without moving his vision away from the closet. Asim gently touched the small plastic handle and jerked it open. Just like when he opened the motel’s front door, nothing was inside the meter and a half closet, not even clothing hangers.
“Are you serious?” He said in distaste, “Not a damn thing in here.” Asim slammed the closet door. He looked around; to make sure he hadn’t missed anything and walked out the door. When Asim exited the motel he saw a familiar face, barely ten meters away. It was Alessa, standing out between the brink of the dark woodland path back to Asim’s tower and the street to Augusta. Holding her hand was her younger sister, Jo. Both stood, still as statues, as if waiting for at a bus stop for something that would never come. Asim caught himself raising his hand to wave to them, he knew they were dead, he had saw their bodies, but there they stood, as if they had never died. Asim’s legs wanted to sprint out to them, his arms wanted to wave at Alessa and Jo; he wanted to call out in joyous excitement to them, but each time he stopped himself. He knew that they were just a memory.
“I gotta get this door open.” Asim said out loud, trying to ignore the apparitions that were sending chills down his spine. After several moments of the feeling, he turned around and stared straight at them, “You’re not real. You’re not real. Not anymore. You’re…” His voice started to break and tears started slowly coming down his face, “You’re…you’re…not real.” She slowly walked towards him, while his voice started to get louder and louder, “No, you’re not real! You stay away from me!”
Now Alessa and Jo were only standing about a meter away from him, and Asim started to yell at them, “It’s my fault! Is that what you wanted to hear?! I wasn’t there, and I lost every single one of you! I failed! I’m…I’m sorry.” Asim now fell to the ground and covered his crying eyes, waiting for the two of them to disappear, just like John, or the little girl from the video camera hours before. But they didn’t, they stood silently, just watching him.
“No, no, no, no, no, hell no!” Asim yelled while uncovering his eyes, now he was standing up and walking towards them. “You’re not going to get in my head!” Rapidly tapping the temple of his head with his index finger, and now he was talking to them with an elevated, angered tone. “I may be crazy, but you stay the hell out of my head!”
Alessa stood there, alone, Asim didn’t recall Jo’s disappearance when he was yelling at them, but now it was only him and her. Alessa exceeded his age by four years, but unlike him, her skin wasn’t covered in blood, she wore clean clothing, her hair and body was clean, and Asim swore that he smelled strawberries, oranges, or cherries, one of those three, he hadn’t smelled any of those in months, so he couldn’t tell the difference (and him being covered in roamer blood from a week ago took its toll on his smelling, didn’t help). Her tan skin looked nearly angelic to him, and her black hair came down to her mid-back, she seemed to be radiant. She sported a purple t-shirt, even though it was freezing cold, and a pair of black jeans.
Asim never really was attracted to her, they were decent friends after he had gotten their group out of Atlanta, but he had not thought of her, romantically, at the time he was focused on survival and helping the people of his group. The reason for him being angry, or even fearful when seeing Alessa and Jo’s apparition because it reminded him, directly, of his failures. He remembered seeing their violated, rotting corpses lying face down in the dirt of their camp in the forest on the outskirts of Macon.
He started hyperventilating, each time his breath was faster than the last one, until he dropped to his knees. “You know I tried, right?” Asim asked, while wiping away a tear falling down from his right eye.
Alessa leaned towards him and said in a haunting voice, “You tried, and you failed.” She then disappeared, leaving Asim kneeling on the street, all alone.
Asim sat there, motionless, eyeing the tree line on the other side of the road. “I need to do what I came for.” He said, to himself, quietly. He had gotten into the last can of beans and his water was nearly depleted, if he wanted to go anywhere, he was going to need supplies.
He stood up from his position and walked over to the next motel door, grabbing his crowbar and his firefighters ax as he did so. As Asim came close to the door, he heard moaning from the inside. “Got a freak.” He said in soliloquy, and slid one strap off of his shoulder so he could reach the things he needed. His backpack was stored with a few memos, a couple CDs; one was Tupac Shakur’s “Greatest Hits”, and the other was Kid Cudi’s “Man on The Moon”, then he had the video camera, a small multi-tool knife hybrid, The Art of War by Sun Tzu and, finally his lock pick set. Even though he had his crowbar, he knew this lock pick set was just as useful, mainly because the only reasons he has survived this long was through intelligence and stealth, and the crowbar made a lot of noise when gaining access to buildings, while the lock picks were near silent, which were exceedingly helpful on his night runs for supplies.
Asim got down on one knee and attempted to pick the lock. It took him a little bit, but after a half of a minute of positioning and repositioning, he heard the click, meaning that the door was now unlocked. He slowly opened the door, half expecting a roamer to jump out, but of course, all that happened was the door slowly creaked open, making an irritating sound before hitting the wall and halting. The motel room was small, only containing one bed, queen sized, a single night stand on the right side of the bed and a picture of a sailboat hanging above the bed. On the left side of the bed there was a toolbox on the ground, with a few miscellaneous tools, such as a hammer and screwdriver lying on the ground, and standing over it, was a roamer.
The roamer eyed Asim before raising its leg up clumsily and started walking towards him, like a man that had too much to drink. Asim’s hands wrapped tightly around his ax as he raised it over his left shoulder and waited for the corpse to take one more step forward. It did, and Asim swung with gravity aiding him and hit the roamer in the temple, cutting more than half way through its head. No reaction at all, it just came tumbling down on the floor, making a noise similar to dropping text books on a wooden table. Asim never got used to that sound, the sound of lifeless bodies dropping to the floor, and he didn’t think he ever would.
Asim glanced down at the floor, observing the tools, when suddenly he felt his leg get jerked, causing him to fall over. “Oh, shit!” He yelled as he came tumbling down to the ground. It was a roamer, hiding underneath the bed, with much of its legs chewed off, most likely done by the other corpse. Holding onto Asim’s legs, the roamer pulled itself out from under the bed and started trying to take a bite out of him. Asim elbowed it in the face, causing the roamer to recoil, giving Asim enough time to reach for anything that could help him defeat the hostile. His hands went as fast as possible to grab anything out of the toolbox next to him, while he propped up both legs to keep the corpse at bay. As his hand came a cold, metal hammer he roundhouse kicked the roamer in the face, and then stood up quickly. Before it could even turn around to face Asim, he hit it in the back of the head with the hammer. But he could still hear it moaning, so he hit it again, and again, until on his fourth swing, the hammer became lodged deep within the roamers cranium. Asim exclaimed, “Little bastard, caught me off guard.” And stood up, pushing himself up with his palms.
He looked at the hammer that was now tainted with the blood and brains of the now put down roamer, and nodded, almost as if giving respect to it, before setting it back in its toolbox.
Again, nothing in this motel room either. “Damn it!” He yelled to himself as he walked out the motel room door and headed to the next and final one, “I need some supplies or my little trip is fucked.” As he got out his picklock set and was about to start to unlock the door, he noticed it was open, just slightly. Just like last time, he gave the door a gentle push, and it made a loud creaking noise all the way until it hit the door stop and halted it. He gazed at the room in horror. It was a family, a mother, son and daughter were laying on the bed and the father was sitting on the arm chair, just right of the queen sized mattress, all with crude bullet holes going through their skulls. It was a family suicide. The father’s blood stained, lifeless hands still held on tight to his hunting shotgun, as his blood and the blood of his family stained the ground, the walls and the ceiling. Asim felt in the pit of his stomach, like he wanted to throw up, but he couldn’t. Their blood was everywhere, on everything. He saw the bullet holes in the faces of the children and the mother, which looked like to be done in their sleep, or they took it willingly. He saw the bullet holes coming out through the roof of the father’s mouth and out through the top of his bald head.
Asim ran out of there slamming the door as he exited. He may have been hungry, but he was not going to loot that room with the bodies in it. He deeply inhaled and then fell backwards, sitting up against the door. Thoughts and memories came into his head rapidly, his failures. He thought of the bodies of his friends, piled one on top of the other. He thought of the blood dripping down his face during the attack on the bandit camp. He thought of the argument that he had with his group, allowing a man and his family to stay at their camp, just for that same man to betray him. He thought of the farm house he had retrieved his ax from, and the monstrous slaughter house the cannibals had in their barn. He thought of the people that he was so closed to being with, that just left him, surrounded by monsters.
“No!” He shouted as he hit himself against the side of the head. “No…stay out of my head. Stay out of my head.” He repeated to himself.
Asim sat there with his back against the door for two hours, doing nothing but looking at the floor and listening to the annoying buzz of insects coming from the tree line. Then he heard a noise, it sounded like a shuffle, or more like a dragging noise. Asim looked up to see a lone roamer, about one hundred meters away, walking slowly towards his position. He grabbed his ax and crowbar and stood up, just to notice that the roamer wasn’t alone. Behind it, he could see hundreds following it. Asim knew exactly what it was, and where it was coming from.
After Asim was left behind by the motel group in Macon, he didn’t stop. Asim sprinted after them, day and night, nonstop. He had hope, and he wasn’t about to let it die by a recreational vehicle driving off. Asim tracked them as far as he possibly could and eventually, using his map, he was able to estimate where they were heading, Savannah. So, he took a short cut, he ran through the woods cutting off a lot of time he would have wasted, running on the road. He eventually came to railroad, and noticed on his map that it went directly to Savannah. A hope filled him at that moment, one like he had never seen, that he may actually meet up with people. He emptied a car, and leaned back the driver’s seat, and slept.
A few hours later, a booming noise woke him up, and he felt the ground start to shake, slightly. He knew that sound, he had heard it many times before the world went to shit, it was a train. The door of his vehicle swung open at the might of his leg kicking it, and he stepped out. The train had just passed him. He took a deep breath and threw his backpack over his shoulder, and got ready to start following the train, when he saw roamers, hundreds of them, pouring out of the forest. In front of him, and behind him, the freaks followed the noise like dogs. The people in that train had just created a herd of them, and Asim knew for sure that following the train, would kill him. Instead, he ran North, abandoning his search for the group.
Now looking back on it, Asim believed he would have followed them towards Savannah, even if that meant he died in the process, because what he was doing now, was no life at all. It was getting drunk or high just to try to block out the memories of the past. He stared directly into the crowd of roamers, he at least counted three hundred, and there was probably thousands more trailing behind them (if this truly was the Savannah herd he escaped from several months ago). He turned around and darted for the tree line, knowing exactly what he was going to do when he got back to his steeple. Pack up, and get the fuck out of here.
Insanity: Burnin' and Lootin'. Chapter 2 I need to get some sleep, but I would feel like shit if I didn't post up this story before I did.
… more After a little applied pressure, the door swung open, and hit against the wall. Asim brought his crowbar back to a defensive position, ready to swing at any walking corpses that dared to go near him, but just as he expected: nothing inside. He let out a sigh and scanned the room. It was a small motel room, a white tiled bathroom in the back, covered in pieces of trash from the nearby tipped over trashcan, and a bed. Asim got down in a prone position and checked under the bed, nothing but a towel. “Maybe there’s a mini-fridge, somewhere.” He said to himself as he started to lose faith that this room contained any useful supplies. He looked over his shoulder at a wooden paneled closet, and slowly brought his firefighter ax out, without moving his vision away from the closet. Asim gently touched the small … [view original content]
Well thank you.
Being an optimistic person, I wanted to end the story on an upbeat note.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Out of curiosity, after reading the whole story, would you say the title is still appropriate, or does it perhaps need to be changed?
Love it think it's brilliant have to finish it MOAR then do a full review just make sure put THE END when your finished so I know to start but so far superb
Older Clem and Kenny never seen story concept like this nice and original
Good pacing never got bored was always interested to see what happens next
Had great character depth and was very emotional beautiful story
Grammar and spacing perfect
Short and sweet compared to long stories reviewed recently
Enjoyed the Clem and Kenny relationship dynamic
Rating
8.5
Overall
Think was a quality effort and hope write more for me to read your very talented with a unique style love it has so much heart to it really enjoyed it thanks for share
Here's my story.
Title: Reasons.
Setting: Las Vegas NV, San Jose California.
Timeline: 12, 15 & 17 years since season 2.
Main char… moreacters: Kenny, Clementine.
Subject: Hope and perseverance.
( I hope you enjoy it).
As the sun sets over the great city, once known as one the entertainment captals of the world, now little more than a ghost town, two lone figures, an elderly man and a young woman, walk it's deserted streets.
Kenny and Clementine, walking with weapons in hand, begin to look for a secure place to bed down for the night.
Aside from gathering supplies, their main goal, while here, is to possibly find a car that's operational, allowing to drive the rest of the way, as opposed to going on foot, as they have been doing since their sojourn began.
Since their reunion, 12 years earlier, the two have been traveling together.
They have traveled across many states, and passed through many towns and cities, on their way… [view original content]
Well thank you.
Being an optimistic person, I wanted to end the story on an upbeat note.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Out of curiosity, after reading the whole story, would you say the title is still appropriate, or does it perhaps need to be changed?
Well thank you.
You're very gracious.
If I can think of maybe a continuation of the story, I will include it, either with what I've already written, or I'll create a new story all together.
Two point that I want to comment on that you mention is, 1st Kenny and Clementine being older, and the emotional depth in the story.
The reason I wrote it with them being older, is that it gives the story and characters new dynamics, including their following aactivities after the initial 12 year mark.
2nd, I wanted to delve into the psychological states of the characters at the staring point.
After having lost so many people she cares for, I saw Clementine as having "survivor's guilt."
And having the story set initially 12 years after season 2, allowed me to reintroduce the optimism we saw in Kenny in season 1.
Loved it nice short story
Things I liked
Realistic within TWD universe
Older Clem and Kenny never seen story concept like this nic… moree and original
Good pacing never got bored was always interested to see what happens next
Had great character depth and was very emotional beautiful story
Grammar and spacing perfect
Short and sweet compared to long stories reviewed recently
Enjoyed the Clem and Kenny relationship dynamic
Rating
8.5
Overall
Think was a quality effort and hope write more for me to read your very talented with a unique style love it has so much heart to it really enjoyed it thanks for share
Well done you've done it again Clay really enjoyed it quality story anyway review time
What I Liked
Perfect grammar spotted no mistakes during whole story knew completely everything going on so well written
Descriptions really enjoyed Walker falling down like books etc really got me in the moment
Tension built slowly making action more unexpected and more powerful to the reader
Spacing good new addition easy to read
Never got bored every sentence was like gold so much fun
Packed full of violence and gore love it so evil just great my style of story
Great character depth felt had lot of heart to
Loved the psychology element his own mental struggle was so cool and creative
Favorite scenes
Asim mental struggles ghosts etc
This well very written innovative and brilliant loved seeing people from his past and how he reflects on what happened how it still tortures his brain just cool
Fight with the Walker
This scene was badass when chopped his head in half and kept on hitting the walker so much gore and violence so well described to felt right in the moment when reading it just class
Family Suicide
Very brave thing to write about as sensitive subject kids getting killed and suicide so I applaud you also so cool and unexpected really edge of your seat stuff
But overall every whole thing
Rating
9.5
Overall
Another quality story thank you for taking the time to write it for my thread and sharing really appreciate it delighted get to read stories of such high standard and you done it again Clay well done
Insanity: Burnin' and Lootin'. Chapter 2 I need to get some sleep, but I would feel like shit if I didn't post up this story before I did.
… more After a little applied pressure, the door swung open, and hit against the wall. Asim brought his crowbar back to a defensive position, ready to swing at any walking corpses that dared to go near him, but just as he expected: nothing inside. He let out a sigh and scanned the room. It was a small motel room, a white tiled bathroom in the back, covered in pieces of trash from the nearby tipped over trashcan, and a bed. Asim got down in a prone position and checked under the bed, nothing but a towel. “Maybe there’s a mini-fridge, somewhere.” He said to himself as he started to lose faith that this room contained any useful supplies. He looked over his shoulder at a wooden paneled closet, and slowly brought his firefighter ax out, without moving his vision away from the closet. Asim gently touched the small … [view original content]
Well thank you.
You're very gracious.
If I can think of maybe a continuation of the story, I will include it, either with what I've alread… morey written, or I'll create a new story all together.
Two point that I want to comment on that you mention is, 1st Kenny and Clementine being older, and the emotional depth in the story.
The reason I wrote it with them being older, is that it gives the story and characters new dynamics, including their following aactivities after the initial 12 year mark.
2nd, I wanted to delve into the psychological states of the characters at the staring point.
After having lost so many people she cares for, I saw Clementine as having "survivor's guilt."
And having the story set initially 12 years after season 2, allowed me to reintroduce the optimism we saw in Kenny in season 1.
No pressure Matt take your take whenever delighted to hear plan on finishing it can't wait to read it whenever have free time it's grand thanks for what you shared already
No pressure Matt take your take whenever delighted to hear plan on finishing it can't wait to read it whenever have free time it's grand thanks for what you shared already
Comments
Cool can't wait to read it yes I'm sure I'm going to love it
Thanks and is this Jim Carey Quote right? lol actually checked internet to find out must know
From a Creed knew heard it somewhere lol
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rifleman's_Creed
Well aren't you lucky, I have some more for you
The bump is a lie.
Brilliant so far well done just make sure put THE END when your finished give you a full review but so far superb
Thanks Badass Clem
Thanks yes bump not sure is a lie mindblown not sure what you did there but I like it
Here you go, and please be gentle.
Title: Growing Pains
Characters: Clementine, Luke
Genres: Friendship/Hurt/Comfort
Rating: Mature
"I’m sorry…"
[Part 1/3]
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10181591/1/Growing-Pains
Details: She and Luke were all that was left, with everyday a struggle to survive and reach a place of safety in the north that was too many miles away to count. So often Clementine had seen it happen, death claiming the lives of friends or complete and utter strangers, the lives she failed to save…and now, it was her turn.
“Come on, you gotta eat something…”
[Part 2/3]
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10181591/2/Growing-Pains
Details: The worst always seemed to have a way of creeping up on them when they least expected it. How often had that happened? Getting so close death and escaping by the skin of their teeth? Luck had everything to do with it, yet Clementine never felt lucky about surviving. Because often than not, it was somebody else who got killed instead, and she was the one left behind grieving them…
Thanks for the share reading now then do a review
First say thanks for the share this has been probably one of the best fanfic's I ever read just breathtaking
Growing Pains Chapter 1 things I liked
Dark theme was brilliant represented thorough whole story
Realistic within TWD universe
All characters behaved exactly like they were in the game
Description and grammar were perfect felt right in the moment in every scene
Spacing made it so easy to read and was it so entertaining even long length felt so short just exceptional
Liked dream sequences so unique and original very imaginative just genius writing
Going forward and back to moments was brilliant seeing flashbacks of how she learned to deal with situations was so cool to read the way you filled in gaps in the game just superb
Kept tension high whole chapter on the edge on my seat whole time
Loved the way story moved from different points every few sentences never staying in one spot for long period of time making the story more entertaining and fast paced.
Fearless approach to storytelling were not afraid to curse or write about so pretty horrific scenes making the reader really expect the unexpected as were not scared to write about anything
Favorite part
Clem bite and whole segment with her cutting her arm off so shocking and surprising well described on the edge of my seat genius writing
Clem shooting Nate again so shocking and well described loved it
But had so many probably whole thing
Things I didn't like
Poor Clem but apart from that perfection your very talented
Rating
9.5
Recommend all users read this story just perfect
Growing Pains Chapter 2
Another superb installment just feel honoured to read so well done do my review by will be shorter as things I liked in previous chapter are mostly same here but name extra points like about this chapter
Things I Liked
Brilliant character development and character depth in this chapter making the death scenes harder to take
Built tension slowly making the action scenes more intense
Little moments of happiness and little jokes found really beautiful during all the troubles
Action packed like watching a movie rather then reading a fanfic so fun and well written like a movie playing in my head so cool
Addition of the baby definitely added great new dimension to the story
Loved writing technique for the story arc give the reader false hope then pull the carpet from underneath them exactly like TWD
Favorite moments
Clem seeing the baby the brief of happiness was just beautiful to read
Nick being bitten and death segment build his character so well at this point I was just gutted and his send off nearly had me tears just sensational writing
Nicky dying This nearly killed me poor baby only hope in Clem and Lukes life dead glad had the bravery to write it so unexpected and heartbreaking
Carver introduction and Death: Love villains and had psychology element I loved it edge of my seat stuff then Luke shooting Carver so badass just superb also seeing Clem being beaten was hard reading because so well written
Christa: Brilliant way to end the story so sad for christa
Rating
9.5
Oh wow, thank you [and she shot Nate you mean :P]
Going start reading part 2 in about 15 minutes but can just say you have potential to be professional writer I was just blown away well done. Real pleasure reading that thanks for the share always try give decent reviews
Thank you for taking the time to read the first part. It's nice hearing in detail about the little things [I could hug you right now ;__; ]
And it's funny you say that actually, I'm currently writing a book. It's been my little dream for a while. Although I judge myself too hardly on it with every little thing that I do [even in fanfics I'm constantly going back and revising stuff over] I really need to learn to just chill and not stress myself out.
Have you been writing for long?
Listen no thank you for the share the least I can do
Can just say seriously your on the right track and truly believe if you work hard enough you will make it to the top nothing wrong with being a perfectionist also I am one myself shows have passion for what your doing and keeps myself always pushing for better I believe it's good trait.
...
Okay you deserve a big old hug for that now.
Come here you!
Yes hug lol read part 2 now
Right finished the review I edited my review and added it on. Thanks for writing and make sure comment here and remind me when part 3 is out CANT WAIT. Also write any story here if you want or just read storys on the thread there all awesome anyway thanks
Just a class crossover wow
Sorry, a play on words, Clay quoted Full Metal Jacket so I quoted Portal.
It's a good story.
I'm impressed how you were able to bring Joel and Ellie, Lee and Clementine together.
To combined their stories, and make it exciting and creative.
My congratulations to sir, on a story well done!
.
Here's my story.
Title: Reasons.
Setting: Las Vegas NV, San Jose California.
Timeline: 12, 15 & 17 years since season 2.
Main characters: Kenny, Clementine.
Subject: Hope and perseverance.
( I hope you enjoy it).
As the sun sets over the great city, once known as one the entertainment captals of the world, now little more than a ghost town, two lone figures, an elderly man and a young woman, walk it's deserted streets.
Kenny and Clementine, walking with weapons in hand, begin to look for a secure place to bed down for the night.
Aside from gathering supplies, their main goal, while here, is to possibly find a car that's operational, allowing to drive the rest of the way, as opposed to going on foot, as they have been doing since their sojourn began.
Since their reunion, 12 years earlier, the two have been traveling together.
They have traveled across many states, and passed through many towns and cities, on their way towards California, in search for a place of safety.
Having been on their journey for over 5 years, ever since Wellington turned out to be a dead end, the two have seen much hardship and suffering.
They have encountered many people, both good and bad.
And have killed walkers in the thousands.
Kenny, now at 57 years old, stands atop the intersecting freeways once known as the spaghetti bowl, and peers out over the horizon.
Clementine now 23 yrs old, has grown into a beautiful woman.
She joins Kenny at his side, and the two watch as the sun begins to set, watching it's orange raise shine across the abandoned cars and decaying buildings.
A gentle breeze begins to blow, refulling their hair.
Walkers, can be seen in the distance, searching for anything they can find.
Ordinarily, the two would never stand out in the open like this.
But sight of the sun, setting over mount Charleston and Red Rock Canyon, has brought them a moment of peace.
Kenny turns to Clementine and says: " Soon Clem, we'll be in California, where hopefully we can find a place we can stay permanently. A place where we can not only survive, but also live and thrive."
Clementine looks at Kenny, with a look of doubt and says: "Do you really believe that Kenny? After all the shit we've been through over the past 12 years, and all the people we've known who have died, Lee, Luke, Nick, Alvin, and all the things we've had to do to survive, what's the point in believing there's still hope?''
" I've lost people too Clem. Katja, Duck, Sarita, as you are well aware. People I loved! I understand the guilt you are feeling, that you have lived while they died," Kenny replies.
" One thing I've learned in my 57 years, is that you cannot give up. No matter how bad things get, you continually find a reason to go on. Things eventually do work out."
Having found an old abandoned big rig truck to sleep in, Kenny crawls into it, ready to hunker down for the night.
Clementine, still staring out over the overpass, reflects on Kenny's words.
Her mind begins to drift back to days of long ago.
Kenny, standing by the truck, watches Clementine looking out over the horizon.
Having in effect raised her as his own, not a day has gone by where he hasn't been concerned for her and her wellbeing. Nor anything He wouldn't do to protect her.
And now, having made such a grueling trek across the country, with many miles still left to go, Kenny begins stroking his long grey beard, nervously awaiting her response, as to whether she will go on or not.
After a long wait, Clementine turns, looks at Kenny and smiles, letting him know that she has rediscovered her reason for living.
Kenny returns the smile and the two crawl into the truck, shutting the doors, as the sound of walkers approach.
6 months later, Kenny and Clementine, have made their way to San Jose California.
Having taken refuge on the grounds of the San Jose university college, the two, along with 10 other survivors, have begun forting up the place, building walls to secure the place.
Using Spartan Stadium , they begin to plant crops and vegetables. Along with building water towers to catch the rain.
While places like the Dr. MLK library continue to serve as a place of education.
Though having to contend with walkers, and violent gangs in the area, the group manages to stand firm, and build a life for themselves.
Over time, under Kenny and Clemintine's leadership, the group grows to over 20, including women and children.
Not only does the group survive, but also thrive, not only constructing aquiducts, but also learning how to harness wind and solar energy from blue prints found in the library.
After 3 years of their dwelling there, Kenny finds a new girlfriend, a 29 year old stunning blonde woman named Kelly, who had gone to this university during her college days.
The next year, they have a little boy whom they name Lee, in honor of Kenny's old pal.
Clementine assists with taking care of the boy, whenever Kenny is away directing different projects around the school.
After 5 years, the community has grown up to thirty-five strong.
During the summer harvest, crops are plentiful, water has proven to be adequate, and everyone is enjoying the quality of life they have.
While life is not perfect, the group has learned how to cope.
With new solid 20 ft high/ 2 ft thick concrete walls the group have managed to construct, under Kenny's direction, the threat of walkers is nearly a thing of the past.
Kenny, Clementine, her new 45 year old husband Jim, and his 70 year old father Dave, have formed a group counsel.
The counsel operates well, and with Jim's background as a policeman, Jim takes the lead in training the others in the group how to operate firearms.
And with Dave's background as a doctor, helping in child births, plus giving the group sound medical advice on how to stay healthy, the group's health does well.
One summer afternoon, a 6 month pregnant Clementine from atop the library, looks out over the community.
She watches a 62 year old Kenny, working on one of the new cars the community has managed to salvage.
While her husband, along with others, are harvesting apples from the apple orchard the group had planted the year before.
Remembering Kenny's words, over the spaghetti bowl in Vegas about how everything would work out, Clementine at 28 years old, looks out over the community and smiles.
The End.
Thank you so much glad you like it glad understood my insanity in storytelling
Love it think it's brilliant have to finish it MOAR then do a full review just make sure put THE END when your finished so I know to start but so far superb
No worries mate.
?
No love quotes keep it up lol like it
Just saw this now lol this makes me even more excited for the story the more insane the better should be brilliant
Insanity: Burnin' and Lootin'. Chapter 2 I need to get some sleep, but I would feel like shit if I didn't post up this story before I did.
“Are you serious?” He said in distaste, “Not a damn thing in here.” Asim slammed the closet door. He looked around; to make sure he hadn’t missed anything and walked out the door. When Asim exited the motel he saw a familiar face, barely ten meters away. It was Alessa, standing out between the brink of the dark woodland path back to Asim’s tower and the street to Augusta. Holding her hand was her younger sister, Jo. Both stood, still as statues, as if waiting for at a bus stop for something that would never come. Asim caught himself raising his hand to wave to them, he knew they were dead, he had saw their bodies, but there they stood, as if they had never died. Asim’s legs wanted to sprint out to them, his arms wanted to wave at Alessa and Jo; he wanted to call out in joyous excitement to them, but each time he stopped himself. He knew that they were just a memory.
“I gotta get this door open.” Asim said out loud, trying to ignore the apparitions that were sending chills down his spine. After several moments of the feeling, he turned around and stared straight at them, “You’re not real. You’re not real. Not anymore. You’re…” His voice started to break and tears started slowly coming down his face, “You’re…you’re…not real.” She slowly walked towards him, while his voice started to get louder and louder, “No, you’re not real! You stay away from me!”
Now Alessa and Jo were only standing about a meter away from him, and Asim started to yell at them, “It’s my fault! Is that what you wanted to hear?! I wasn’t there, and I lost every single one of you! I failed! I’m…I’m sorry.” Asim now fell to the ground and covered his crying eyes, waiting for the two of them to disappear, just like John, or the little girl from the video camera hours before. But they didn’t, they stood silently, just watching him.
“No, no, no, no, no, hell no!” Asim yelled while uncovering his eyes, now he was standing up and walking towards them. “You’re not going to get in my head!” Rapidly tapping the temple of his head with his index finger, and now he was talking to them with an elevated, angered tone. “I may be crazy, but you stay the hell out of my head!”
Alessa stood there, alone, Asim didn’t recall Jo’s disappearance when he was yelling at them, but now it was only him and her. Alessa exceeded his age by four years, but unlike him, her skin wasn’t covered in blood, she wore clean clothing, her hair and body was clean, and Asim swore that he smelled strawberries, oranges, or cherries, one of those three, he hadn’t smelled any of those in months, so he couldn’t tell the difference (and him being covered in roamer blood from a week ago took its toll on his smelling, didn’t help). Her tan skin looked nearly angelic to him, and her black hair came down to her mid-back, she seemed to be radiant. She sported a purple t-shirt, even though it was freezing cold, and a pair of black jeans.
Asim never really was attracted to her, they were decent friends after he had gotten their group out of Atlanta, but he had not thought of her, romantically, at the time he was focused on survival and helping the people of his group. The reason for him being angry, or even fearful when seeing Alessa and Jo’s apparition because it reminded him, directly, of his failures. He remembered seeing their violated, rotting corpses lying face down in the dirt of their camp in the forest on the outskirts of Macon.
He started hyperventilating, each time his breath was faster than the last one, until he dropped to his knees. “You know I tried, right?” Asim asked, while wiping away a tear falling down from his right eye.
Alessa leaned towards him and said in a haunting voice, “You tried, and you failed.” She then disappeared, leaving Asim kneeling on the street, all alone.
Asim sat there, motionless, eyeing the tree line on the other side of the road. “I need to do what I came for.” He said, to himself, quietly. He had gotten into the last can of beans and his water was nearly depleted, if he wanted to go anywhere, he was going to need supplies.
He stood up from his position and walked over to the next motel door, grabbing his crowbar and his firefighters ax as he did so. As Asim came close to the door, he heard moaning from the inside. “Got a freak.” He said in soliloquy, and slid one strap off of his shoulder so he could reach the things he needed. His backpack was stored with a few memos, a couple CDs; one was Tupac Shakur’s “Greatest Hits”, and the other was Kid Cudi’s “Man on The Moon”, then he had the video camera, a small multi-tool knife hybrid, The Art of War by Sun Tzu and, finally his lock pick set. Even though he had his crowbar, he knew this lock pick set was just as useful, mainly because the only reasons he has survived this long was through intelligence and stealth, and the crowbar made a lot of noise when gaining access to buildings, while the lock picks were near silent, which were exceedingly helpful on his night runs for supplies.
Asim got down on one knee and attempted to pick the lock. It took him a little bit, but after a half of a minute of positioning and repositioning, he heard the click, meaning that the door was now unlocked. He slowly opened the door, half expecting a roamer to jump out, but of course, all that happened was the door slowly creaked open, making an irritating sound before hitting the wall and halting. The motel room was small, only containing one bed, queen sized, a single night stand on the right side of the bed and a picture of a sailboat hanging above the bed. On the left side of the bed there was a toolbox on the ground, with a few miscellaneous tools, such as a hammer and screwdriver lying on the ground, and standing over it, was a roamer.
The roamer eyed Asim before raising its leg up clumsily and started walking towards him, like a man that had too much to drink. Asim’s hands wrapped tightly around his ax as he raised it over his left shoulder and waited for the corpse to take one more step forward. It did, and Asim swung with gravity aiding him and hit the roamer in the temple, cutting more than half way through its head. No reaction at all, it just came tumbling down on the floor, making a noise similar to dropping text books on a wooden table. Asim never got used to that sound, the sound of lifeless bodies dropping to the floor, and he didn’t think he ever would.
Asim glanced down at the floor, observing the tools, when suddenly he felt his leg get jerked, causing him to fall over. “Oh, shit!” He yelled as he came tumbling down to the ground. It was a roamer, hiding underneath the bed, with much of its legs chewed off, most likely done by the other corpse. Holding onto Asim’s legs, the roamer pulled itself out from under the bed and started trying to take a bite out of him. Asim elbowed it in the face, causing the roamer to recoil, giving Asim enough time to reach for anything that could help him defeat the hostile. His hands went as fast as possible to grab anything out of the toolbox next to him, while he propped up both legs to keep the corpse at bay. As his hand came a cold, metal hammer he roundhouse kicked the roamer in the face, and then stood up quickly. Before it could even turn around to face Asim, he hit it in the back of the head with the hammer. But he could still hear it moaning, so he hit it again, and again, until on his fourth swing, the hammer became lodged deep within the roamers cranium. Asim exclaimed, “Little bastard, caught me off guard.” And stood up, pushing himself up with his palms.
He looked at the hammer that was now tainted with the blood and brains of the now put down roamer, and nodded, almost as if giving respect to it, before setting it back in its toolbox.
Again, nothing in this motel room either. “Damn it!” He yelled to himself as he walked out the motel room door and headed to the next and final one, “I need some supplies or my little trip is fucked.” As he got out his picklock set and was about to start to unlock the door, he noticed it was open, just slightly. Just like last time, he gave the door a gentle push, and it made a loud creaking noise all the way until it hit the door stop and halted it. He gazed at the room in horror. It was a family, a mother, son and daughter were laying on the bed and the father was sitting on the arm chair, just right of the queen sized mattress, all with crude bullet holes going through their skulls. It was a family suicide. The father’s blood stained, lifeless hands still held on tight to his hunting shotgun, as his blood and the blood of his family stained the ground, the walls and the ceiling. Asim felt in the pit of his stomach, like he wanted to throw up, but he couldn’t. Their blood was everywhere, on everything. He saw the bullet holes in the faces of the children and the mother, which looked like to be done in their sleep, or they took it willingly. He saw the bullet holes coming out through the roof of the father’s mouth and out through the top of his bald head.
Asim ran out of there slamming the door as he exited. He may have been hungry, but he was not going to loot that room with the bodies in it. He deeply inhaled and then fell backwards, sitting up against the door. Thoughts and memories came into his head rapidly, his failures. He thought of the bodies of his friends, piled one on top of the other. He thought of the blood dripping down his face during the attack on the bandit camp. He thought of the argument that he had with his group, allowing a man and his family to stay at their camp, just for that same man to betray him. He thought of the farm house he had retrieved his ax from, and the monstrous slaughter house the cannibals had in their barn. He thought of the people that he was so closed to being with, that just left him, surrounded by monsters.
“No!” He shouted as he hit himself against the side of the head. “No…stay out of my head. Stay out of my head.” He repeated to himself.
Asim sat there with his back against the door for two hours, doing nothing but looking at the floor and listening to the annoying buzz of insects coming from the tree line. Then he heard a noise, it sounded like a shuffle, or more like a dragging noise. Asim looked up to see a lone roamer, about one hundred meters away, walking slowly towards his position. He grabbed his ax and crowbar and stood up, just to notice that the roamer wasn’t alone. Behind it, he could see hundreds following it. Asim knew exactly what it was, and where it was coming from.
After Asim was left behind by the motel group in Macon, he didn’t stop. Asim sprinted after them, day and night, nonstop. He had hope, and he wasn’t about to let it die by a recreational vehicle driving off. Asim tracked them as far as he possibly could and eventually, using his map, he was able to estimate where they were heading, Savannah. So, he took a short cut, he ran through the woods cutting off a lot of time he would have wasted, running on the road. He eventually came to railroad, and noticed on his map that it went directly to Savannah. A hope filled him at that moment, one like he had never seen, that he may actually meet up with people. He emptied a car, and leaned back the driver’s seat, and slept.
A few hours later, a booming noise woke him up, and he felt the ground start to shake, slightly. He knew that sound, he had heard it many times before the world went to shit, it was a train. The door of his vehicle swung open at the might of his leg kicking it, and he stepped out. The train had just passed him. He took a deep breath and threw his backpack over his shoulder, and got ready to start following the train, when he saw roamers, hundreds of them, pouring out of the forest. In front of him, and behind him, the freaks followed the noise like dogs. The people in that train had just created a herd of them, and Asim knew for sure that following the train, would kill him. Instead, he ran North, abandoning his search for the group.
Now looking back on it, Asim believed he would have followed them towards Savannah, even if that meant he died in the process, because what he was doing now, was no life at all. It was getting drunk or high just to try to block out the memories of the past. He stared directly into the crowd of roamers, he at least counted three hundred, and there was probably thousands more trailing behind them (if this truly was the Savannah herd he escaped from several months ago). He turned around and darted for the tree line, knowing exactly what he was going to do when he got back to his steeple. Pack up, and get the fuck out of here.
YES PARAGRAPHS, Thanks Clay
Well thank you.
Being an optimistic person, I wanted to end the story on an upbeat note.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Out of curiosity, after reading the whole story, would you say the title is still appropriate, or does it perhaps need to be changed?
Loved it nice short story
Things I liked
Realistic within TWD universe
Older Clem and Kenny never seen story concept like this nice and original
Good pacing never got bored was always interested to see what happens next
Had great character depth and was very emotional beautiful story
Grammar and spacing perfect
Short and sweet compared to long stories reviewed recently
Enjoyed the Clem and Kenny relationship dynamic
Rating
8.5
Overall
Think was a quality effort and hope write more for me to read your very talented with a unique style love it has so much heart to it really enjoyed it thanks for share
Nope think it's fine and suits the story
Well thank you.
You're very gracious.
If I can think of maybe a continuation of the story, I will include it, either with what I've already written, or I'll create a new story all together.
Two point that I want to comment on that you mention is, 1st Kenny and Clementine being older, and the emotional depth in the story.
The reason I wrote it with them being older, is that it gives the story and characters new dynamics, including their following aactivities after the initial 12 year mark.
2nd, I wanted to delve into the psychological states of the characters at the staring point.
After having lost so many people she cares for, I saw Clementine as having "survivor's guilt."
And having the story set initially 12 years after season 2, allowed me to reintroduce the optimism we saw in Kenny in season 1.
Well done you've done it again Clay really enjoyed it quality story anyway review time
What I Liked
Perfect grammar spotted no mistakes during whole story knew completely everything going on so well written
Descriptions really enjoyed Walker falling down like books etc really got me in the moment
Tension built slowly making action more unexpected and more powerful to the reader
Spacing good new addition easy to read
Never got bored every sentence was like gold so much fun
Packed full of violence and gore love it so evil just great my style of story
Great character depth felt had lot of heart to
Loved the psychology element his own mental struggle was so cool and creative
Favorite scenes
Asim mental struggles ghosts etc
This well very written innovative and brilliant loved seeing people from his past and how he reflects on what happened how it still tortures his brain just cool
Fight with the Walker
This scene was badass when chopped his head in half and kept on hitting the walker so much gore and violence so well described to felt right in the moment when reading it just class
Family Suicide
Very brave thing to write about as sensitive subject kids getting killed and suicide so I applaud you also so cool and unexpected really edge of your seat stuff
But overall every whole thing
Rating
9.5
Overall
Another quality story thank you for taking the time to write it for my thread and sharing really appreciate it delighted get to read stories of such high standard and you done it again Clay well done
No prob thanks for the share and going over my points can't wait to read the next story MOAR
Finish it matt I want give you a full review need see how this ends
Sorry I was busy today I only had time to hop on the forum here and there and tomorrow is Anzac day and i'm working from 3 pm till 3 am.
No pressure Matt take your take whenever delighted to hear plan on finishing it can't wait to read it whenever have free time it's grand thanks for what you shared already
I have a pretty good idea of how I want to wrap it up I just need the time to write it.