The woman that turns up at your door a few second from now is a real stunner. She has her own rake and a pile of garbage bags, and she insists on doing the work in a bikini, no matter the weather. You go out on to the porch while she does the work and get to talking.
You find out that you share an awful lot of interests. She's in to computer games and loves posting on forums. You ask her out on a date, and she smiles an accepts.
A few nights from now, you head out to a fancy restaurant. You received a bit of a cash windfall the day before from an unexpected distant relative who died. You're not sad because you never met them. You eat and talk more and she turns out to be perfect for you. Afterwards, you head on to a bar, and somehow she convinces you to go out dancing.
In the club, your impressive moves are noticed by a guy that works for a company that makes music videos for famous recording artists. It turns out that [Insert attractive famous female singer here] is making a music video and needs a guy just like you. Your new lady-friend is impressed enough by your moves and psyched about meeting some famous people that she offers to come along.
On the day of the shoot you get talking to this famous singer, and you introduce her to your new friend (for arguments sake, her name is Candy, because why not.) They get along like a house on fire. Moments later Scarlett Johansen shows up too.
Hours pass. You guys are all chatting and laughing away, when the conversation inevitably turns to the bad-thing. Excited, you see an opportunity to score a mythical 4-way. You end up in Scarlett's trailer, and everything is going well, but then at the crucial moment, your Linus falls off.
Granted. You fix all the problems in the economy. This pisses off a powerful man that benefitted from economic turmoil. He hires a hit man, and you get killed.
I wish the Salvation Army bell ringers still said "Merry Christmas", instead of just giving you a half assed smile when you drop money in the bucket.
Granted. However, it only runs on leaded gas, and you can't find any gas stations to fill the tank. It is eventually towed away, and they charge you extra for the large vehicle.
I wish I had one of the new convertible laptop/tablets.
Granted. It now overfreezes, getting icier and icier the harder it works. You're found the next day with your hands frozen to your computer with dodgy porn vids open in 5 different tabs.
Granted. The African-Americans of that part of the country protest for believing that the company is racist for placing said restaurants in their neighborhoods. Also, Chick-fil-a, KFC, Popeye’s and Churches are closed down.
Granted. You now have an extra 20,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 to yourself. You go insane from being so lonely and commit suicide.
Comments
The woman that turns up at your door a few second from now is a real stunner. She has her own rake and a pile of garbage bags, and she insists on doing the work in a bikini, no matter the weather. You go out on to the porch while she does the work and get to talking.
You find out that you share an awful lot of interests. She's in to computer games and loves posting on forums. You ask her out on a date, and she smiles an accepts.
A few nights from now, you head out to a fancy restaurant. You received a bit of a cash windfall the day before from an unexpected distant relative who died. You're not sad because you never met them. You eat and talk more and she turns out to be perfect for you. Afterwards, you head on to a bar, and somehow she convinces you to go out dancing.
In the club, your impressive moves are noticed by a guy that works for a company that makes music videos for famous recording artists. It turns out that [Insert attractive famous female singer here] is making a music video and needs a guy just like you. Your new lady-friend is impressed enough by your moves and psyched about meeting some famous people that she offers to come along.
On the day of the shoot you get talking to this famous singer, and you introduce her to your new friend (for arguments sake, her name is Candy, because why not.) They get along like a house on fire. Moments later Scarlett Johansen shows up too.
Hours pass. You guys are all chatting and laughing away, when the conversation inevitably turns to the bad-thing. Excited, you see an opportunity to score a mythical 4-way. You end up in Scarlett's trailer, and everything is going well, but then at the crucial moment, your Linus falls off.
I wish I was a cyborg.
I wish Archie's Sonic Comics came to the UK.
I wish I had a horse.
I wish that Santa Claus was real so I didn’t have to lie to my little nephew every year.
Oh dear God, hahahahaha. My husband would love that one.
Granted. Santa gets stuck in your chimney and dies.
I wish people weren't such crappy drivers.
I wish durka hurka urka durk.
I wish my car never broke down.
I wish Hollywood would stop with remakes like Robocop, Short Circuit, The Rocketeer, and now Flight of the Navigator.
I wish I had another heater.
I wish I was finished with my shopping.
I wish I had a seeing eye dog.
I wish pets lived as long as their masters.
I wish for a bottle of Orangina.
I wish I didn't have to go work today.
I wish my headache would go away.
I wish Sherlock Holmes was a real person.
I wish I were a superhero.
I wish for 800 trillion dollars so I can help the economy which has been destroyed by the so-called president.
I wish the Salvation Army bell ringers still said "Merry Christmas", instead of just giving you a half assed smile when you drop money in the bucket.
I wish for a hug.
both you and the porcupine die
I wish I would stop procrastinating on my projects.
I wish I had some bacon.
I wish I had a maid.
I wish for a Plymouth Fury.
I wish I had one of the new convertible laptop/tablets.
I wish all my home repairs were finished.
I wish my computer never overheated.
I wish it was already February.
I wish for a laxative to cure my terrible constipation.
I wish school was over already.
I wish Linkin Park returns to their old music style (Hybrid theory, Meteora...)
I wish there were still Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurants in the eastern United States.
I wish for a pizza.
I wish I had more time for myself.
I wish I had a pony.
I wish I understood people better.
I wish I didn't have to wear a skirt.
I wish I could wish for a wish.
I wish I could come up with an original idea.
I wish StrongBrush1 would change her/his avatar. I hate ponies!