Insult Sword Fighting! (Create your own insults!)

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Comments

  • edited June 2009
    serweet wrote: »
    the same goes for your bed


    I cannot put into words how sick you make me feel

    How 'bout a demonstration: I'll make yer skin peel.


    Where I come from, they call me The Tank.
  • edited June 2009
    I've eaten barnacles like you for my mornin' meal!


    No man can face a mighty pirate such as myself!

    'Cause they forget to look down: yer shorter then an elf!
  • edited June 2009
    hplikelike wrote: »
    Where I come from, they call me The Tank.

    Look at you, my friend, it's such a nasty prank!

    ----

    Tremble before me, I'm the master of the sea!
  • vizviz
    edited June 2009
    Tremble before me, I'm the master of the sea!

    I'm shaking, I'm shaking - then again just who is thee?

    ---

    Your blood will be the sauce on my plate when I've finished with you!
  • edited June 2009
    viz wrote: »
    I'm shaking, I'm shaking - then again just who is thee?

    ---

    Your blood will be the sauce on my plate when I've finished with you!

    So THAT'S what made your breath smell like poo.

    I was wondering.

    That answers it.

    Blood sauce.
    Moving on
    ___________________________
    When I win, your options will be few; beggars can't be choosers.
  • vizviz
    edited June 2009
    hplikelike wrote: »
    When I win, your options will be few; beggars can't be choosers.

    My only option is to win and send you back to the rest of the loosers!

    ---

    Your anguish makes me chuckle!
  • edited June 2009
    viz wrote: »
    Your anguish makes me chuckle!

    Yer breath makes me... uh... uckle... hmm... yuckle? *loses sword fight, hands over map to blood island*
  • vizviz
    edited June 2009
    hplikelike wrote: »
    Yer breath makes me... uh... uckle... hmm... yuckle? *loses sword fight, hands over map to blood island*

    Haha, we're loaded with booty! ;)
  • edited June 2009
    Your anguish makes me chuckle!
    The anguish of feeling how ticklish are your knuckles...

    I've chugged grog that's stronger than you!
  • edited June 2009
    TookiGuy wrote: »
    The anguish of feeling how ticklish are your knuckles...

    I've chugged grog that's stronger than you!

    But now you're so drunk that you haven't a clue!


    Even the sharks don't dare mess with my sword.
  • edited June 2009
    viz wrote: »
    My only option is to win and send you back to the rest of the loosers!

    ---

    Your anguish makes me chuckle!

    I'll break your every knuckle.




    [EDIT] DAMMIT! An hour and 20 minutes and nobody replies, I come to type this and 2 or 3 people have already taken a turn!! Can't be bothered to reply to their insults as well so I'll leave it for now and save my new insult for later.

    I'm happy with how this has turned out, so far :D
  • edited June 2009
    Even the sharks don't dare mess with my sword.

    I hope you realize that's because you're on land...

    _

    My mother has better insults than you!
  • edited June 2009
    TookiGuy wrote: »
    I hope you realize that's because you're on land...

    _

    My mother has better insults than you!

    Don't take news of your failed abortion so hard.

    You're floundering like a fish!
  • edited June 2009
    You're floundering like a fish!
    Don't underestimate me, your breath would have KILLED a lesser man...
    _

    Fighting you is so easy, it ain't even fun!
  • edited June 2009
    TookiGuy wrote: »
    Don't underestimate me, your breath would have KILLED a lesser man...
    _

    Fighting you is so easy, it ain't even fun!

    You'd be beaten in a minute if you weren't using a gun!


    I've never met the man who was my equal!
  • edited June 2009
    You'd be beaten in a minute if you weren't using a gun!


    I've never met the man who was my equal!

    Perhaps there'll be such an idiot in the sequel!

    All the women in the Caribbean cry out for my name!
  • edited June 2009
    All the women in the Caribbean cry out for my name!
    Yes, they all want their bras back...
    _

    See this eye? It's killed more pirates than my sword!
  • edited June 2009
    TookiGuy wrote: »
    See this eye? It's killed more pirates than my sword!
    I believe you. It must be hard to hit someone with vision that bad.

    ---

    You call yourself a pirate? I would have thought you're dressed for Halloween.
  • edited June 2009
    Xocrates wrote: »
    You call yourself a pirate? I would have thought you're dressed for Halloween.

    At least I didn't dress like a pixie this year.


    I'll chop you to bits and use you as chumm for the sharks.
  • edited June 2009
    At least I didn't dress like a pixie this year.


    I'll chop you to bits and use you as chumm for the sharks.

    Like most dogs, ye've got less bite then yer bark. Besides, I'd be tastier then you.

    ____________________

    I taste better then you.
  • edited June 2009
    I'll chop you to bits and use you as chumm for the sharks.

    No need to get lawyers involved!

    I've seen sea slugs bigger than your arms!
  • edited June 2009
    RockNRoll wrote: »
    No need to get lawyers involved!

    I've seen sea slugs bigger than your arms!

    At least I'll HAVE arms by the end of the fight.
  • edited June 2009
    I've seen sea slugs bigger than your arms!
    You mean all the women you've dated?
    _

    Please turn around, looking at your face might make me puke...
  • edited June 2009
    TookiGuy wrote: »
    Please turn around, looking at your face might make me puke...

    Before or after you soil you pants from fright

    ----

    I've seen beached whale with more agility then you.
  • vizviz
    edited June 2009
    TookiGuy wrote: »
    Please turn around, looking at your face might make me puke...

    But then you might win, but that would be a fluke!

    ---

    For those scurvy dogs you like to call crew, I'll pass you an orange!
  • vizviz
    edited June 2009
    I've seen beached whale with more agility then you.

    Yeah but you didn't go far, was you just released from the zoo?

    ---

    I could crush you with one hand!
  • edited June 2009
    For those scurvy dogs you like to call crew, I'll pass you an orange!
    Why, you seem awefully helpful for an "enemy"...
    _

    You think those ballet moves can scare me?
  • edited June 2009
    viz wrote: »
    But then you might win, but that would be a fluke!

    ---

    For those scurvy dogs you like to call crew, I'll pass you an orange!

    Your insults are sour ENOUGH to make me cringe!


    Even the sea laughs at your clumsy swordplay!
  • edited June 2009
    TookiGuy wrote: »
    Why, you seem awefully helpful for an "enemy"...
    _

    You think those ballet moves can scare me?

    By the way that you are running away with you eyes open wide, yes.



    Is that corn or are those your teeth?
  • edited June 2009
    viz wrote: »
    I could crush you with one hand!
    Whose hand would that be? For they certainly couldn't be those skinny sticks at the end of your arms
    Even the sea laughs at your clumsy swordplay!
    You know, hearing voices is indicative of serious mental problems.
    hplikelike wrote: »
    Is that corn or are those your teeth?
    Corn! This fight is so easy I decided to have breakfast in the meantime.

    ---

    I've met Scarecrows more terrifying than you.
  • edited June 2009
    Xocrates wrote: »

    I've met Scarecrows more terrifying than you.

    At least I don't fight like a sack of hay.

    ---

    You've got less spine then a jellyfish.
  • vizviz
    edited June 2009
    Xocrates wrote: »
    I've met Scarecrows more terrifying than you.

    If your crew is THAT inanimate, prepare for some voodoo!
    You've got less spine then a jellyfish.

    From someone of such weak retort, it's time for you to beg - sharpish!

    ---

    I've never laughed so hard at your minuscule silhouette!
  • edited June 2009
    I've never laughed so hard at your minuscule silhouette!
    So if I don't have a belly, I'm miniscule?
    _

    Are you a pirate? Fighting you is like fighting cotton candy!
  • edited June 2009
    viz wrote: »
    If your crew is THAT inanimate, prepare for some voodoo!



    From someone of such weak retort, it's time for you to beg - sharpish!

    ---

    I've never laughed so hard at your minuscule silhouette!

    It's because i'm so fast, this is the only chance you'll get


    I've never seen such a maladroit buffoon.
  • vizviz
    edited June 2009
    TookiGuy wrote:
    Are you a pirate? Fighting you is like fighting cotton candy!

    I'll eat you all up, and wash you down with Grog - not shandy!
    Gryffalio wrote: »
    I've never seen such a maladroit buffoon.

    Soon you'll be struggling at the bottom of the lagoon!

    ---

    Now is the time for you to meet the fishes!
  • edited June 2009
    Now is the time for you to meet the fishes!
    You forget, you ate them all...
    _

    I'm sure you have a brain, but I'm also sure you barely use it...
  • edited June 2009
    viz wrote: »
    I'll eat you all up, and wash you down with Grog - not shandy!



    Soon you'll be struggling at the bottom of the lagoon!

    ---

    Now is the time for you to meet the fishes!

    The only way that'll happen is if you use up the last of your 3 wishes

    ---

    You bleed like a girl
  • edited June 2009
    Gryffalio wrote: »
    The only way that'll happen is if you use up the last of your 3 wishes

    ---

    You bleed like a girl

    The BEST response to this would be "I am a girl" but, because I am not a girl, I shall reply:

    You cry like a baby.

    _______________________

    Yer weaker then the world economy.
  • edited June 2009
    hplikelike wrote: »
    Yer weaker then the world economy.

    I will slice you like the Hungarian salami!

    I hope you are good at walking the plank!
  • edited June 2009
    Gryffalio wrote: »
    The only way that'll happen is if you use up the last of your 3 wishes

    ---

    You bleed like a girl
    You'll bleed like a monsoon.
    I will slice you like the Hungarian salami!

    I hope you are good at walking the plank!

    I bet you'll be good at being smacked with one.

    (How is it that no matter how long it's been since the last insult there's at least 2 people who beat me to it when I go to reply? Are you people watching this thread while spamming F5?)


    You have the brain of a 4 year old - and I bet he was glad to get rid of it!
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