Insult Sword Fighting! (Create your own insults!)

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Comments

  • edited October 2009
    "Allow" you to spill my guts? Your presence alone is enough to spill the contents of my stomach.
    You're like the Jar Jar to my Star Wars
  • edited October 2009
    And you, the Crystal Skull to my Indiana Jones!
    I'll make an example out of you, to be sure!
  • edited October 2009
    I figure that's because your already on my sword like a skewer.


    You'd better let your temper cool, I have defeated many a poor fool
  • edited October 2009
    Good thing I'm a rich genius with a mansion called The Beaches!
    (I bought it from Bette Midler.)
    Your nose is so big, it makes Jimmy Durante look like he had rhinoplasty!
  • edited October 2009
    Well, you do know what they say about men with big noses... *wink*
    Cutlass, Saber, Sword or Blade, today I'm gonna seal your fate!
  • edited October 2009
    Destiny? I'll soon cut you down to size, mate.


    You act like the town idiot.
  • edited October 2009
    You act like the town idiot.

    You should know best. You ARE the town idiot!

    When I'm done with you, you will beg for the killing blow.
  • edited November 2009
    Katsuro wrote: »
    You should know best. You ARE the town idiot!

    When I'm done with you, you will beg for the killing blow.

    After I start on you, you won't have breath enough to beg.

    My boots have seen more battles than you have!
  • edited November 2009
    Sure, if you count odor eaters against the stench of your feet as a battle!


    I'll take your treasure, your ship and your life with great ease!
  • edited November 2009
    I'll take your treasure, your ship and your life with great ease!

    How about you take my sword instead, please?


    Throughout my Life I have ended countless foes!
  • edited November 2009

    Throughout my Life I have ended countless foes!

    That because you always lost, as everyone knows

    Never in all the seven seas, have I met a foe I could defeat with such consummate ease.
  • edited November 2009
    Never in all the seven seas, have I met a foe I could defeat with such consummate ease.

    Only seven? HA! I've been to waters much further than these! What I've learnt there shall have you on your knees.


    Your swordplay is quite exemplary, but next to mine, it's elementary!
  • edited November 2009
    gregowich wrote: »
    Your swordplay is quite exemplary, but next to mine, it's elementary!

    Quit running your mouth or you'll be sleeping in the CEMETERY!


    I've met Tailors with more fight in them than you!
  • edited November 2009
    I've met Tailors with more fight in them than you!

    By the look of your suit, it seems you lost those fights too.

    ---

    I've met even dairy farmers fighting better than you!
  • edited November 2009
    gregowich wrote: »
    I've met even dairy farmers fighting better than you!

    Their DAUGHTERS must have been your swordplay teachers.


    You wouldn't last a day on the open seas with me.
  • edited November 2009
    You wouldn't last a day on the open seas with me.

    Yeah, it won't take a minute before you start to flee.

    i had kings and emperors bow down at the tip of my sword!
  • edited November 2009
    Even before they smelled your breath?
    You can stop shaking - I'll end you within a minute.
  • edited November 2009
    But your death will only take a second


    I found sloths more active than you
  • edited November 2009
    Here's some insults, i wanna see some insults too :)

    - You have to be the worst pirate i have ever met!

    - You got to have skills to handle a sword THAT BAD

    - I bet all the suicidal girls are your fault
  • edited November 2009
    Saken wrote: »
    Here's some insults, i wanna see some insults too :)

    - You have to be the worst pirate i have ever met!

    - You got to have skills to handle a sword THAT BAD

    - I bet all the suicidal girls are your fault

    I'll skip yours because you didn't answer the other one. Also 3 at once :p


    I found sloths more active than you.

    I only move so slow so I won't beat you in an instant.


    HA! I would beat you even without a sword!
  • edited November 2009
    Katsuro wrote: »
    HA! I would beat you even without a sword!

    Only if the race ends at 6 feet underground!


    I have the pallbearer's on standby for your funeral.
  • edited November 2009
    Best let them return to get a coffin your size


    My sword skills are known around the world
  • edited November 2009
    My sword skills are known around the world
    Indeed, even children laugh about them.

    Consider me the reaper with the rapier, fool!
  • edited November 2009
    Nachtnebel wrote: »
    Consider me the reaper with the rapier, fool!

    You'll only reap seeds to your own destruction in this duel!

    I'll take your hand, I'll take your leg, to leave you with a bloody stub and a peg.
  • edited November 2009
    gregowich wrote: »
    You'll only reap seeds to your own destruction in this duel!

    I'll take your hand, I'll take your leg, to leave you with a bloody stub and a peg.

    You'll strike first, but I'll riposte, and 'fore you know it, you'll be toast.
    You remind me of a laxative. You irritate the crap out of me.
  • edited November 2009
    How appropriate, because I'll have to flush whatever is left of you after this.
    Is that fear in your eyes, or are you just helplessly drunk?
  • edited November 2009
    I'm drunk, and you're ugly. But in the morning I'll be sober.
    Where'd you get that sword? The toilet store?
  • edited November 2009
    Why, yes. You are so foul I needed disinfectant to be sure of a clean kill.


    Many a pirate has fled at the sound of my tread
  • edited November 2009
    are you sure that wasn't your smell?


    your fighting style can be compared to that of a goose
  • edited November 2009
    You're right. I strike from above, and you'll never reach me!


    I could beat you with one arm tied behind my back and my eyes blindfolded!
  • edited November 2009
    Lena_P wrote: »
    You're right. I strike from above, and you'll never reach me!


    I could beat you with one arm tied behind my back and my eyes blindfolded!

    You do know that the "Pin the tail on the donkey" contest is over right?


    When I'm done with you not even your relatives will recognize you!
  • edited November 2009
    Katsuro wrote: »
    You do know that the "Pin the tail on the donkey" contest is over right?


    When I'm done with you not even your relatives will recognize you!


    It's better to not be recognized, then unwanted, eh?
    People run in fear, when they hear my sword unsheath.
  • edited November 2009
    Only because you never have a tight enough grip


    No man can match my skill when it comes to making a kill
  • edited November 2009
    Too bad for you, I'm a woman!


    I once tore out a man's throat with my bare teeth!
  • edited November 2009
    Lena_P wrote: »
    Too bad for you, I'm a woman!


    I once tore out a man's throat with my bare teeth!

    I don't care what your boyfriends kink is woman!


    You fight like a turtle on its back.
  • edited November 2009
    Katsuro wrote: »
    You fight like a turtle on its back.
    Your skills in fighting... There's a significant lack!


    Your breath's been known to make all bystanders cry.
  • edited November 2009
    Here try chewing on the tip of my blade.

    I'll chop you down, and run you through before you can think of what to do.
  • edited November 2009
    Stick to your axe, lumberjack, and leave the swords to those who know how to attack.


    I'll crush you beneath the heel of my boot!
  • edited November 2009
    Oh? Is that a boot, or did you step in something?

    My sword can cut through you faster than the speed of light!
  • edited November 2009

    My sword can cut through you faster than the speed of light!

    And so will the laughs, when they see what your wearing.
    ---
    I've seen granma fight with more poise than you.
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