Monument to the Walking Dead: An Interactive Story (Ongoing)

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  • edited August 2015

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 3)

    A Man Gone

    Danny pursed his lips when Jake gave him the choice to go back on his suggestion. The look Jake gave him seemed off. Almost like he was looking for a better option from Danny—but he had none. “It’s not lookin’ like you have many options. I’d say we go for it,” Danny answered to Jake, who lowered his gaze slightly at the reply.

    “Sounds good,” Jake sighed. Danny couldn’t blame him for his lack of enthusiasm. He was potentially throwing his life away for the others. Jake had to have had a pretty good connection to them to take that kind of risk, Danny speculated. He had to respect that.

    “That’s it then?” Atlanta questioned. She shifted her eyes to Josephine as she walked past her and into the living. Josephine shot a lifeless remark on way by: “You heard the man.”

    Atlanta followed her into the living room and stop her by gently resting a hand on her shoulder—they both stood over the couch where a shivering Ashley laid barely conscious. “Give him a break,” Atlanta said, almost as coldly as Josephine. “He’s on our side, Josie.”

    “Don’t call me Josie,” Josephine quietly snapped frustratedly. She pulled her shoulder away from Atlanta, muttering under her breath as she walked, “That was Anthony’s thing.” She stopped abruptly and turned back to Atlanta. “And he isn’t here anymore.”

    Atlanta stood a little baffled as Josephine continued to the other side of the room and entered the kitchen. “Anthony,” Atlanta mumbled under her breath. She found a sad feeling fall over her when she remembered what Jerry told her about him. Anthony saved her, but, in consequence, drew the dead towards himself and a drunk-off-his-ass Jerry. Anthony, Santiago… Dean, Atlanta thought glumly. Now Christian and Jordan. Maybe Jerry, too. Maybe even… Maybe even Ashley.

    She shifted her gaze to Ashley, who was laid down on the couch, motionless, minus the weak drawing of her breath. She crouched over her and ran her hand through her long, blond hair while also wiping away the small drops of sweat on her forehead. “It’ll be okay,” she whispered tearfully. “We’ll make it.”

    Atlanta reluctantly stopped petting her hair and wiped the tears that were building up in her our eyes. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled before turning to rejoin the group in the hallway. However, before she could, Daniel caught her eye. He moped silently at the far end of the room, sitting in the corner—almost invisible in contrast of the poorly lit room.

    “Dan,” she called out, “come here.” She opened her arms while approaching the very young, who didn’t hesitate to jump into them. She hugged him tightly and he did the same. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

    “Ashley’s hurt,” he mumbled quietly.

    “She’ll live if we can get her to the Doctor's house,” said an unfamiliar voice. It was only vaguely recognisable. Atlanta turned with Daniel still in his arms to see Danny standing in the doorway with Jake behind him. He bit his lip when he noticed her teary eyes and quickly apologized, “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were having a moment.”

    “It’s alright,” she sighed. Atlanta directed his attention to Jake and addressed him. “Are we ready to set out?” she asked.

    “I guess…” he replied, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Atlanta, take Daniel to the truck, and bring Josephine and Violet with you.” Jake shifted his vision to Ashley, patted Danny on the shoulder, and pointed towards Ashley. “Give me a hand with her.”


    Calvin McGee held a steady hand over Jerry’s busted-up forehead. (He learned his name while the man mumbled incoherently, at one point mumbling “I’ll fuck you up if you try to fuck me-- with me… Jerry motherfuckin… Stew...” At least he assumed he was Jerry; he could always be corrected later if he was wrong.) He carefully pulled out a few tiny bits of metal fragments, but mostly shattered bone. Here and there, dabbing the wound with a clean cloth to soak up the large amount of blood. It wasn’t clean for long—it was getting redder and redder each time he dabbed it.

    During this, the man Trevor patched up the Jerry’s bloody, cut-up hands. They would move onto the many cuts on his lower back once he was done with his head. It seemed, however, this would take up a lot of time. And Calvin feared he would be dead long before he was finished. He hoped—he would’ve pray if he was a man of god—that Jerry would last until Danny returned with the others in his group. Maybe then Jerry would have some hope of surviving all the blood loss… Although, even if he did survive, he shuttered to think of what life would be like for Jerry in such a damaged state.


    Danny climbed into the large black truck. Behind him, in the back seat, Atlanta, Daniel, and the woman Violet sat. In the floorboard, covered with a blanket and resting on pillows found inside the house, Ashley lay. Only the slow rising and lowering of her chest told him she was alive. Beside him, the other woman, Josephine hopped into the passenger’s seat.

    There was something grim about the alleyway where the truck reside. It was probably the eerie silence—it put Danny on edge. It was littered with trash and there was a rotten smell, which was probably a corpse rotting somewhere out of view. Maybe behind the trashcans just a few houses ahead. The town was oddly lacking in the living dead right now. It was mostly because of them forming large herds—Danny shivered while remembering. They came walking by the country road he lived on just a day or two ago. Walking into the distance. Walking northeast.

    The thought was easy to shake when Jake walked out the back door of the house. He wore a grim expression and walked up to the side of the truck. He placed his hand on the open passenger’s side window, since it was the closest, and said to him, “Danny, drive like hell once I’ve got them on my tail.”

    Danny nodded worryingly. “Drive like hell yourself, man,” he replied serenely.

    Jake turned his vision to Josephine and frowned when she avoided eye contact. He turned again, this time to those in the back seat and shot a halfhearted smile their way. Danny was shocked by the others’ silence. Maybe they weren’t as close as he suspicioned earlier. Jake sighed, tapping the window’s frame lightly as he turned one last time and reentered the house.

    They hate me, Jake thought as he walked with his head pointed towards the ground. They hate my fucking guts.

    Jake seated himself on the motorcycle and briefly played with it in the hallway to try to gain more familiarity with it. He ran his hand through his short black hair and let out a long sigh as he opened the front door, still seated, and rolled out into the cloudy sunlight that was typical with a late november day.

    Right off the bat, he noticed one of the dead shambling at the far left of the street. It hadn’t noticed him. He inhaled a long breath as he waited through the strange silence. Soon after, he heard the sound of a truck from the left end of the street and prepared himself. It rounded the corner. It was one of Zafir’s. It noticed him, seemingly instantly.

    He froze for a second as he felt the pistol in his belt. It’s cold metal touch wasn’t very comforting, and he only had seven bullets in the clip. He hoped it wouldn’t come down to a shoot out, but if he failed to shake them... He banished the thought. It was the now he need to think of. And right now, he needed to lead this sorry sons of bitches away, then he could start shaking them.

    Jake put the pedal-to-the-metal and started down the street with the black truck, reminiscent of the one his so-called group were in, followed behind him. A second one wasn’t far behind. “C’mon, you bastards!” he shouted in an attempt to draw their attention further away from anything else.

    Jake speeded along the road and narrowly met the first turn on the street. He continued down the road until he reached the first leg of a long country road, houses still lined either side. Jake believed it lead north, remembering that they entered the city from the northeast. Maybe, if he shook them, he could do a big circle and find the doctor’s house.

    A loud crack echoed and a whistling sound passed his ear. He peered through the rearview-mirrors and saw that the truck in the front had a man leaning out the passenger’s window with a pistol in hand. “Oh shit,” Jake muttered under his breath while he thought.

    His situation wasn’t good. He needed to realize it as well as he could, or else he was going to fucking die. Ahead of him was one long stretch of country road. If he continued down its straight path, with Zafir’s guys continually closing the gap between them, he’d surely be shot. Fortunately, houses still lined the road and they would provide reasonable cover, if need be. Also ahead of him was a turn onto another street. If he went for that, at the speed he was going, he probably wouldn’t make the turn. Maybe Zafir’s people wouldn’t either. But once around the corner he would be temporarily out of sight, and he could try to hide.

    [Keep on the straight road and risk getting shot.]

    [Risk taking the sharp turn and then find cover.]

  • [Risk taking the sharp turn and then find cover.]

    Totally worth the risk. I think.

    Great chapter! Glad to see this back!

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 3) A Man Gone Danny pursed his lips when Jake gave him the choice to go back on his suggestion. The look Jake gave

  • [Risk taking the sharp turn and then find cover.]

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 3) A Man Gone Danny pursed his lips when Jake gave him the choice to go back on his suggestion. The look Jake gave

  • [Risk taking the sharp turn and then find cover.]

  • It's great to see a new part. I have missed this story :D

    As for this part, I am now very worried for Jerry. Calvin's prognosis does not seem very hopeful. I mean, the fact that Jerry can still speak is at least something, although the things he says make little sense. Hopefully, he will be alright, but I am afraid there will be lasting damage for him. At least he is not comatose, which is something. Josie worries me as well. In the last part, she seemed to be quite alright to me, but the way she now snapped at Atlanta and simply ignored Jake, who saved her life after all, made me realize that I was wrong with this earlier estimation. Though, given who is waiting for her at Calvin's place, perhaps it is a good thing if she starts to get angry. If that Trevor fucker makes one wrong move on her, she's going to give him hell. She's definitely no longer the same person she's been at Harvest Hills and this might safe her life. However, I doubt she can keep up her tough facade for much longer. What Jordan did clearly hit her hard.

    [Risk taking the sharp turn and then find cover.]

    It's definitely worth the risk. If he stays on the road, I am afraid it will only be a matter of time until he gets shot. Of course, the sharp turn could cause him to crash, but at least he could get into a better position, finding some place to hide.

    Also:

    You all made a good choice, as if you hadn't chosen this option, it would have lead to another massacre, this time in the alley. And trust me, this time there would have been instant-a-deaths.

    enter image description here

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 3) A Man Gone Danny pursed his lips when Jake gave him the choice to go back on his suggestion. The look Jake gave

  • [Risk taking the sharp turn and then find cover.]

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 3) A Man Gone Danny pursed his lips when Jake gave him the choice to go back on his suggestion. The look Jake gave

  • Voting is closed!

    (!) Jake will risk taking the sharp turn

    I'm gonna start working on the part sooner or later. There isn't an exact time, but tomorrow at the latest.

  • edited August 2015

    Glad to see this back Hope! :D

    [Risk taking the sharp turn and then find cover.]

    Definitely worth the risk. Better to try and get hurt than don't try and get hurt.

    EDIT: Oops, looks like I'm late. Oh well, still leaving my vote there xD

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 3) A Man Gone Danny pursed his lips when Jake gave him the choice to go back on his suggestion. The look Jake gave

  • Previews of the part I'm working on:

    Danny and the others briefly rested Ashley on the white-painted, wooden porch as he knocked five times on the door to announce he had returned. The sound of a lock turning thankfully greeted his ears and out stepped Trevor. Before anything could be said, he stepped over Ashley and gave Violet a welcoming hug.


    Jake disheartedly stared down the road in front of him. He wasn’t going to let himself be an easy target. He waited until it was what seemed like the last second and turned right, onto the street. For a second, it seemed he was drifting across the asphalt. Jake felt a sense of triumph as he nearly completely his turn.

  • CHAPTER FOUR (Part 4)

    A Man Gone

    The black truck housing Atlanta, Danny, Ashley, Violet, Josephine and Daniel pulled up into a long driveway. It rolled across the light brown gravel on its way to the front porch, hoping to get as close as they could. Danny parked it and flung the driver’s door open. He hopped out and rushed towards the door behind his, opened, letting Daniel and Violet climb out. With the help of Atlanta, Danny dragged the vaguely conscious Ashley out by the armpits while Atlanta helped with the legs and feet.

    “This is it?” Josephine asked Danny as he walked around the truck to lend a hand with moving Ashley. “I thought it’ll be more… I don’t know, a bit more hidden. We’re in plain sight,” she noted.

    “We don’t get many visitors,” Danny huffed breathlessly while carrying Ashley from under the shoulders. “In fact, outside of the dead, you’re the only visitors we’ve had in a long fuckin’ long time.” He noticed Daniel whence slightly after he cursed and he bit his lip, apologetically nodding in Daniel’s direction before continuing: “Calvin’s the doctor. It’s his house in case you were wondering.”

    Josephine helped take off some of Ashley’s weight by lifting her centermass. Together, with the help Danny, Atlanta and Josephine, they reached porch. Danny and the others briefly rested Ashley on the white-painted, wooden porch as he knocked five times on the door to announce he had returned. The sound of a lock turning thankfully greeted his ears and out stepped Trevor. Before anything could be said, he stepped over Ashley and gave Violet a welcoming hug.

    “I thought you were dead!” she exclaimed happily.

    “It clipped my ear, is all. Gave me a headache and a deep stretch.” Trevor loosened Violet and turned back, looked towards the porch’s floor where Ashley lay, with an arm still wrapped around Violet. “This is the bitch who--” he thought better of it and shook his head. “I’m sorry. Bygones be bygones and all that.”

    Danny eyed suspiciously before slowly nodding and attempted to start lifting Ashley again. Though Trevor stopped him by raising his hand and pulled Ashley up and into his arms. Without a word, he let him and they stepped inside, followed closely by Josephine and Violet, then Atlanta, who was followed even closer by Daniel, who had a hand gripping her shirt tightly as he walked behind her.

    They noses were greeted by a strong coppery smell of blood and a bittersweet sight. Jerry lay on a coffee table with his forehead wrapped in gauze with a large pad of some kind underneath it, covering his left temple. He looked under naturally pale. Standing over him was an older looking man in his mid-fifties. Graying hair. Assumed to be the owner of the house—Calvin. He had laugh lines that were fading and a wrinkled forehead. He wore latex gloves for surgery, but the drying blood had found its way to his forearms. He greeted them with a half-smile, suggesting he was very tired. “You’re back!” Calvin exclaimed with a relieved tone. His face hardened with worry when he noticed Ashley. He lowered his voice, and, with authority, ordered: “Quickly, set her on the couch and I’ll get started on her as soon as possible.”

    Without question, Trevor followed his order and sat her down on the clean, white sofa. It was wiped by her remaining open wounds and quickly caused it to stain red in several spots. Calvin hurried over while struggling to put on a fresh pair of gloves, having just washed his hands in a bowl of water. He leaned over her after pulling up the surgical mask from around his neck. “How long has she been bleeding?” he asked while gently inspecting her injuries.

    “For about an hour,” Atlanta replied, pushing past the others to stand beside the doctor. “We counted six bullet holes. I also think she might have a broken rib or two.” Calvin continually nodded as she went on: “She’s been drifting in and out of consciousness, here and there. Sweating a lot, too.”

    “I’m glad you got to me when you did. It’s looking bad, but if we can get a blood transfusion, there could still be hope.” He leaned back and folded his hands together, thinking. “Okay…” Calvin mumbled. “We need to hurry. Your other guy, Jerry, right? He’s been in need of O-Positive blood for a while. I’ll get started on him, assuming one of you shares his bloodtype, meanwhile you can start cleaning her wounds.” Calvin pointed towards a pile of medical equipment, and a box of different bottles of piles and liquids. “You’ll find antiseptic in there. Some small towels as well. If the bullet passed through, start cleaning the wound. I’ll supervise you in cover up the wound or even sewing it closed.” He twisted around sudden and waved his hand to the others in the group. “Hi,” he said awkwardly, licking his lips nervously. “Listen, which of you have O-Positive blood?”

    Josephine stepped forward with her arms crossed. “I do,” she replied.

    “Wonderful!” Calvin exclaimed, gently pulling Josephine by the arm with him to the far side of the living room where the pile of various different medical supplies and equipment lay. Calvin pulled a metal rack the size of the average person with him, along with a medium-size box. He sat Josephine in a love seat under a window, across from the sofa with the coffee table between the two. Calvin cleaned a spot on her arm and drew a needle from the box along with several feet of tube. He connected the two and attached a deflated bag at the other end of the transparent tube. He carefully sat the box on the floor in front of her. “This will sting a bit,” he said while forcing the needle into her arm. Blood began filling the tube and the bag. As he stood up straight, he pointed towards the bad on the ground, and abruptly shouted, “No one step on that!”


    Jake disheartedly stared down the road in front of him. He wasn’t going to let himself be an easy target. He waited until it was what seemed like the last second and turned right, onto the street. For a second, it seemed he was drifting across the asphalt. Jake felt a sense of triumph as he nearly completely his turn. Though it was a false sense of victory. The rubber tires buckled sideways and the hollowing sound of its rubber screeching against the pavement filled his ears as the motorcycle fell out from under him. Jake tumbled over himself while the bike skidded across the road to the other side. His pistol, in its hostler, jutted into his side painfully. Along with the seemingly constant bludgeoning of his shoulders on the rock-hard road. He finally came to a full stop. Landing on his back as he twitched and groaned. He didn’t want to stand. He didn’t know if he could. When the sound of the trucks approaching filled his head, he know he couldn’t lay there any longer. “Ahhhh,” he grunted as he tried to sit up straight. “Fu-- Fuc--” he hissed as he pushed himself to his feet.

    Jake stumbled forward as he stood. Through the small slits of his eyelids, he saw the trucks rounding the corner. His expression grew worried. Jake eyes widened and they darted from house to house until he settled on one with a ladder lying on the ground in the yard in front of it. He limped towards it and quickly eyed the ladder as he passed by it and moved onto the porch. It had a dead man lying beside it with a broken neck.

    Tragic, Jake thought cynically.

    “Jake!” a voice boomed from a truck. He didn’t need to turn to recognize it as Zafir’s deep and angry tone.

    Jake fiddled with the doorknob for a second only to find it was locked tight. He turned back around and saw the trucks pulling up beside the curb of the house. His eyes darted towards the ladder and he fearfully limped towards it. The doors of the trucks were being flung open as he, rather poorly, positioned the ladder back to the roof and began climbing up it, ignoring his painful injuries the best he could. He crawled onto the roof and kicked the ladder back, causing it to clatter back to the overgrown grass.

    Jake crawled further up the roof and rolled over the hump of the roof on his side. He skidded on the other side and stopped himself from sliding any further down. He mathcatially reached for pistol and drew it. With his back resting on the roof, he lay there, silent and motionless. His only movement was the painful inhaling and exhaling of his breath. Silence filled the air.


    Josephine cringed as Calvin removed the needle from her arm and picked up the bag that was now filled with her blood from the floor. He rushed over to Jerry, pulling the metal rack behind him as he wiped off the needle with some disinfectant, did the same to Jerry’s arm, and stabbed the needle into it. Calvin hung the bag of blood on the rack and took step back, then let out a sigh of brief relief before turning back to Josephine, vaguely smiling.

    Josephine made the mistake of trying to stand. She felt suddenly lightheaded and stumbled back into the seat. “Oh…” she murmured, placing a hand on her head.

    “Sit,” Calvin advised without making eye contact. He was surveying the living room up and down.

    “Is something wrong?” Josephine asked absentmindedly playing with her fogging vision by moving her hand further from her face and then closer to watch how blurred.

    Calvin continued to avoid facing her. “Nothing to worry about,” he replied, still looking over the room. Atlanta kneeled by the sofa with Ashley.

    “Are you going to help her?” Josephine pressed on.

    “Yes. Yes, I will.” Calvin pursed his lips, and added, “In a minute, I suppose. Just catching a quick breather.”

    Josephine nodded understandingly and leaned back in the loveseat. She sighed, watching Jerry’s chest rise and lower as he inhaled and exhaled. “I’m Glad, if Danny hadn’t found use…” she found herself shivering with the thought. “I’m he’ll be alright.”

    Calvin let out a long sigh that worried Josephine, and he finally turned to face her. “Yes… I’ve been meaning to talk with one of your group about this. She’s busy,” he gesture with a slight nod towards Atlanta. “Your kid laid down in the back. Those other two went outside to talk.” He shook his head and smiled. “Well, you aren’t going anywhere for a few minutes. Are you listen?”

    Josephine tilted her head and narrowed her eyes on Calvin. “You want us to leave, don’t you?”

    “No-- Well, yes,” Calvin stuttered awkwardly. He calmed his voice and talked to Josephine with a fatherly tone: “You can’t stay here forever. I’m sorry. It’s just a fact. I don’t have the supplies to support your whole group. I’ve already burned through a ton of medical supplies taking care of those two…” His eyes widened and he bit his lip. “I don’t mean to sound like I regret taking them in here. I don’t. I truly don’t mind helping them.” He placed a hand over his mouth and sighed into it. “It pains we to… believe me… but once they’re well, you can’t stay.”

    Josephine frowned, looked at her folded hands in her lap. She looked back up towards Calvin with an understand, but somewhat regretful expression. “I understand,” she sighed. She made a clicking sound with her tongue and repositioned herself. “I think I’m ready to stand.”

    Calvin extended her a hand, but she pushed it aside gently, but resentfully. “Let me--” he began. He didn’t continue as Josephine rose on her own and took a few steps forward. A smile dawned on his face as she walked towards the door. She turned back for a second, saying, “Shouldn’t help Atlanta now?”

    He nodded and frowned as he briefly checked up on Jerry. Everything seemed to be going fine, so he moved towards the sofa to provide the young woman a hand.

    Josephine stopped in front of the door and peered through its window. She saw Trevor and Violet standing on the porch discussing something. She felt that maybe it would be better to not interrupt them. Whatever they were talking about seemed to be a mild argument. She turned away and remembered Daniel was somewhere in the back. She thought it’ll be a good idea to check up on him. He was just a kind, after all.

    Past Calvin and Atlanta, she walked. Towards a hallway where she stopped abruptly and looked at a staircase leading upstairs. It reminded her of a memory she’d rather forget. Dean pulling her up the stairs in a hurry as the dead poured into the house through the broken back door. Josephine placed her left hand on its railing and let it slide across while she walked up the stairs. She came to the top and her eyes fixated on the ceiling where the trapdoor to the attic would have been. Josephine shook her head slowly and moved on.

    As she prepared to head back down stairs, she noticed an opened door out of the corner of her eye. It sounded like someone was inside. She approached and slowly pushed it open to find Daniel sitting by the window, looking out of it lonesomely. She bit her lip. She wasn’t great at talking to kids. But she chose to man up, and asked, “What are you doing?”

    Daniel turned to face her somewhat startled. He lower his vision to the floor and turned back once he noticed who it was. “Nothing,” he replied.

    Josephine walked up next to him with her arm crossed. She looked out the window with him. It faced the road. They were directly above the living room. “What are you watching?”

    “The road,” Daniel answered quietly.

    Josephine took a second look and didn’t notice anything out of the ordinal. “For what exactly?” she questioned further, somewhat confused.

    Daniel turned to her again. “For Jake,” he said glumly. He faced the road again and didn’t make anymore eye contact with Josephine. “Why are you… mean to him?” he asked.

    Josephine uncrossed her arms and placed them on her hips. “It’s…” she began, but couldn’t finish, as Daniel interrupted.

    “Did he do something?” he asked, almost lifeless of tone.

    “Not exactly…” Josephine mumbled.

    “Then why are you mean to him?” he asked once more.

    “I’m not mad… I’m--- I just don’t trust him.” She rubbed her elbow up and down, and then finally let out a sigh. She gave up. “I don’t know if I can trust him because of what happened to me and Lindsay. We were taken and… Jordan… Jordan betrayed my trust. I’m afraid Jake might drop a bombshell and do the same thing.”

    Daniel stared out the window and frowned. He then faced Josephine, and asked, “Has he?”

    Josephine frowned and rubbed her elbow some more. “No… Not yet.”

    “Then… why not give him a chance? Maybe forgive him?” Daniel questioned.

    Josephine let out a long sigh and decided what to tell him.

    [“I promise, once he gets back, I’ll forgive him.”]

    [“Daniel, it’s… complicated. I’m not going to outright forgive him.”]

  • [“Daniel, it’s… complicated. I’m not going to outright forgive him.”]

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 4) A Man Gone The black truck housing Atlanta, Danny, Ashley, Violet, Josephine and Daniel pulled up into a long dr

  • [“I promise, once he gets back, I’ll forgive him.”] Yeah, Let the kid believe. Even if she doesn't mean it.

    “We counted six bullet holes. I also think she might have a broken rib or two.”

    That's worse than I thought. A lot worse. I thought she'd been shot like once or twice. But six times? :( At least now they've kinda done all they can do for Jerry, so they can focus on Ashley.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 4) A Man Gone The black truck housing Atlanta, Danny, Ashley, Violet, Josephine and Daniel pulled up into a long dr

  • ["I promise, once he gets back, I'll forgive him."]

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 4) A Man Gone The black truck housing Atlanta, Danny, Ashley, Violet, Josephine and Daniel pulled up into a long dr

  • I got unfollowed, so let's be a jerk.

    [“Daniel, it’s… complicated. I’m not going to outright forgive him.”]

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 4) A Man Gone The black truck housing Atlanta, Danny, Ashley, Violet, Josephine and Daniel pulled up into a long dr

  • [“I promise, once he gets back, I’ll forgive him.”]

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 4) A Man Gone The black truck housing Atlanta, Danny, Ashley, Violet, Josephine and Daniel pulled up into a long dr

  • edited August 2015

    [“I promise, once he gets back, I’ll forgive him.”]

    In fact, I don't think there is that much to forgive. I can understand that Josie distrusts Jake, considering how she is clearly still haunted by what happened to her, but he did more than enough to redeem himself. There is no reason to be that cold to him. Sure, Josie is hurt because of what Jordan did, but Jake risked his life to save hers and I think he deserves at least some recognition from her. Now I can only hope that she will actually get the opportunity to forgive him. I'm not too concerned about Jake, honestly. From his roof, he has an advantage over Zafir and his goons. Josie on the other hand has that bastard Trevor near her. I know this situation can't end well and I just hope that she manages to kill him instead of the other way round. While it's not confirmed of course, I am 100% sure that he is the third kidnapper. I'm actually a bit surprised that Trevor hasn't tried any creepy kidnapper moves on her right now, but I am sure that this is only a matter of time. They have to shoot this piece of garbage in the head as soon as possible, before he gets even close to kill and/or rape her. And to avoid any unnecessary risks, they should shoot Violet as well. I'm not sure what to think about her, but she is Trevor's sister and therefore at best an obstacle when it comes to the task of getting rid of him. At worst she's just like him. If nothing unforeseen happens, both of them need to die. I'm just extremely worried that they (or at least Trevor) could cause any harm to Josie first.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 4) A Man Gone The black truck housing Atlanta, Danny, Ashley, Violet, Josephine and Daniel pulled up into a long dr

  • edited August 2015

    [“I promise, once he gets back, I’ll forgive him.”] As Liquid said, there is nothing to forgive. I really feel pity for Josephine after all she has been through and understand that she is hurt but Jake has only helped her so far. He is not her enemy. Hopefully they will both survive to meet again, so that they can sort their differences out.

    I missed the last voting :( But its awesome that the story is back!

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 4) A Man Gone The black truck housing Atlanta, Danny, Ashley, Violet, Josephine and Daniel pulled up into a long dr

  • edited August 2015

    Update and what's to come:

    I'm going to hold off on closing the voting for the rest of the day. I have a get-together with some people at the lake near here and will been there for most of tonight. So, I'll likely close late tonight if I remember or some time tomorrow. Now, wonderfully, my writer's block (or lack of enthusiasm) is gone for the most part. Which is just great because I'm planning more, and I think I'm going to streamline the planning process to make it easier, make a better timeline and course of events to come.

    And speaking of the course of events, the fifth chapter, originally called "River Crossing," has changed. It's not really with the choices that were chosen, but more so better story telling on my part. This chapter's original plot would have been very dry. Now, with what I'm planning, it'll take much deeper roots. Now called "Dogma," which means rules, principles, think the Ten Commandments, to better reflect what will transpire. This chapter is going to dive deep in flashbacks to get a better understanding of the Zafir's group. What you know about Zafir's character is the bare basics of his relationships that I plan to expand upon greatly. It'll make sense why I want to do this when the time comes. Jake is also going to a large portion of flashbacks, which will also feature Jordan, Christian, Maria, and the seemingly forgotten Keith and Lindsay (who I haven't forgotten completely. They didn't work well for a point of view, to be honest. But they'll reappear soon. Along with them, an unfamiliar face, whose past ties with Jerry's.) These characters all have a past that I'm going to bring to light.

    It won't all be flashbacks, however, it will feature a ton of them. Then there's a lot to consider before this act comes to an end. I've come up with the story of different characters, mainly a struggle that one of them will face in the near future. "By Those Beyond" has its base premise, but now that I've been rethinking the future of this story, "In Kingdom Come" might take on a different story when the time comes. We'll just have to wait and see. Thank you all for taking the time of your day to read and taking part in the voting, it means a lot. I hope to get back to you all soon. The story must go on, even if it means i'm gonna kill a ton of your precious characters!

  • Along with them, an unfamiliar face, whose past ties with Jerry's.) These characters all have a past that I'm going to bring to light.

    ..........

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    Update and what's to come: I'm going to hold off on closing the voting for the rest of the day. I have a get-together with some people at

  • Jerry-Shrine confirmed?!?!?!

    Along with them, an unfamiliar face, whose past ties with Jerry's.) These characters all have a past that I'm going to bring to light. ..........

  • edited August 2015

    Now, wonderfully, my writer's block (or lack of enthusiasm) is gone for the most part.

    This is good. This is very good :) I am looking forward for the next parts in a mixture of excitement and dread. Mainly dread of course, although I have to admit that I am nearly equally excited for it. This chapter has me on the edge in a Nine O'clock Lab way and I can only see it getting worse in future parts.

    And speaking of the course of events, the fifth chapter, originally called "River Crossing," has changed

    I sort of liked River Crossing, at least in the earlier parts of this Act. It was a pretty neat metaphora for death and as long as Jordan was still alive I was almost convinced it would also reference to her. But now all that remains is a pretty neat metaphora for death. And death is never good, unless it references to the deaths of Zafir, Trevor, Violet and perhaps Clarice (don't know enough about her to judge her)

    Now called "Dogma,"

    Which is an interesting title as well... For now, I can't make too much out of it, but perhaps it is linked to Zafir's group and that bastards way of thinking. I'm sure it will make more sense to me once it has started.

    think the Ten Commandments

    Thou shalt not kill Josephine. That is a commandment the other characters (specifically a certain kidnapper-sonofTrevor'smom) really need to follow.

    This chapter is going to dive deep in flashbacks to get a better understanding of the Zafir's group

    Ugh, Zafir's group. Zafir can go and bugger a walker. But at least some of the names mentioned are pretty okay people. I'm looking forward for more Jordan and Christian and I'm looking forward to finally see something from Maria.

    Keith and Lindsay

    Now, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. I'm definitely looking forward what they are up to.

    Along with them, an unfamiliar face, whose past ties with Jerry's.

    I have a feeling I know who this character might be...

    I've come up with the story of different characters, mainly a struggle that one of them will face in the near future.

    If this is what I fear it is, I am now officially royally scared. I can think of several characters that could face a struggle soon, but naturally there is one scenario which I am particularly dreading. Aside from the Josie/Trevor confrontation and her struggle to overcome what might be her most dangerous foe, you might just referenced to Jerry's or Ashley's struggle to stay alive or to Jake's struggle with Zafir's group. Or perhaps all of it? Yeah, I guess I'm settling for all of it.

    Thank you all for taking the time of your day to read and taking part in the voting, it means a lot. I hope to get back to you all soon

    And thank you for writing this story! For me, it's the best story out of all the wonderful stories here in the forum, certainly the one that gave me the most feels so far and quite probably the most well-written one, in a forum that is full of well-written stories, so seeing it back more regularly fills me with excitement.

    The story must go on, even if it means i'm gonna kill a ton of your precious characters!

    Oh shit... Not good. Not good! I should probably consider submitting a Sasha-like character for Josie. Then again, there is always the possibility that this could backfire and that you never planned to kill Josie until you saw a possibility for this newly submitted character to kill her because of his obsession. Perhaps it's not a good idea to submit a Josie-obsessed character. Or perhaps it is a very good idea... Gah, my head hurts even thinking about it. I'm probably going to throw a coin or something like that.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    Update and what's to come: I'm going to hold off on closing the voting for the rest of the day. I have a get-together with some people at

  • This is good. This is very good :) I am looking forward for the next parts in a mixture of excitement and dread. Mainly dread of course, although I have to admit that I am nearly equally excited for it. This chapter has me on the edge in a Nine O'clock Lab way and I can only see it getting worse in future parts.

    Don't have a heart attack or something. Keep your Cardiologist on speed dial, although you should be happy to know things are going to slow down in Dogma. Mainly because of all of the flashbacks, a lot of which will be set in the pre-apocalypse. Then again, maybe I'm trying to lure you into a false sense of security. You never know with me. Everything could be fine. Could be an awful for all you know.

    I sort of liked River Crossing, at least in the earlier parts of this Act. It was a pretty neat metaphora for death and as long as Jordan was still alive I was almost convinced it would also reference to her. But now all that remains is a pretty neat metaphora for death. And death is never good, unless it references to the deaths of Zafir, Trevor, Violet and perhaps Clarice (don't know enough about her to judge her)

    River Crossing in a literal sense lol. If anything, Dogma is a much better metaphora for what is to come in that chapter. I won't discount all of them quite. I mean, at least a one of those names is attached to a complete bastard. Maybe one or two aren't as bad as you expect. And just out of curiosity, you said a despicable character named Trevor was submitted on another story, do you mind telling me which?

    Which is an interesting title as well... For now, I can't make too much out of it, but perhaps it is linked to Zafir's group and that bastards way of thinking. I'm sure it will make more sense to me once it has started.

    Unexpectedly as it mean seem, this title is linked to the remnants of the Harvest Hills group. (I might need to come up with a new name for them now that they've left it Harvest Hills.)

    Ugh, Zafir's group. Zafir can go and bugger a walker. But at least some of the names mentioned are pretty okay people. I'm looking forward for more Jordan and Christian and I'm looking forward to finally see something from Maria.

    Well, your stance on Zafir's group and Zafir himself are understandable. Yes, the others are pretty good people. Christian and Maria are going to get some time in flashbacks because I kind of regret killing Christian. Plus it's about time Maria appeared in the story in more than just flashbacks. She and a lot of other characters who have dropped out of the story recently are about to resurface very soon.

    If this is what I fear it is, I am now officially royally scared. I can think of several characters that could face a struggle soon, but naturally there is one scenario which I am particularly dreading. Aside from the Josie/Trevor confrontation and her struggle to overcome what might be her most dangerous foe, you might just referenced to Jerry's or Ashley's struggle to stay alive or to Jake's struggle with Zafir's group. Or perhaps all of it? Yeah, I guess I'm settling for all of it.

    I've got a lot of planning to do. I've only got the goal of the act and the premise of it down. One character act as well. There's still 8+ characters I need to think about. I don't want to leave them out of character development. Especially considering how many are in need of some screen time.

    And thank you for writing this story! For me, it's the best story out of all the wonderful stories here in the forum, certainly the one that gave me the most feels so far and quite probably the most well-written one, in a forum that is full of well-written stories, so seeing it back more regularly fills me with excitement.

    And double thank you for the ego boost! I'll try to keep up a consistent quality while also improving it in general. And, like, sad-feels or angry-feels or worried-feels? Because you've gone ballistic when some things have gone downhill in the story. Like when Jerry hit Josephine. Or whenever Jerry did something else questionable.

    Oh shit... Not good. Not good! I should probably consider submitting a Sasha-like character for Josie. Then again, there is always the possibility that this could backfire and that you never planned to kill Josie until you saw a possibility for this newly submitted character to kill her because of his obsession. Perhaps it's not a good idea to submit a Josie-obsessed character. Or perhaps it is a very good idea... Gah, my head hurts even thinking about it. I'm probably going to throw a coin or something like that.

    Well, I wouldn't submit a character that ties to them if I were you, because it makes it really hard to find a reasonable reason for them to meet again in the apocalypse. I've come up with a reason for Sasha to ever show up. I'm not sure if I could do it again. I would suggest, if you do decide to submit another character, that you make them unrelated to Josephine or Anthony.

    Now, wonderfully, my writer's block (or lack of enthusiasm) is gone for the most part. This is good. This is very good I am looking

  • Don't have a heart attack or something. Keep your Cardiologist on speed dial,

    Speaking about my cardiologist, he'd like to thank you again for all the money he has earned through me. If it's okay for you, he'd like to name his firstborn son NoHope. He believes that the kid will have a great career in medicine or politics with such a name.

    although you should be happy to know things are going to slow down in Dogma. Mainly because of all of the flashbacks, a lot of which will be set in the pre-apocalypse.

    I'm probably grasping at straws here, but could thie be an argument in favour of Josie's survival chances for A Man Gone?

    Then again, maybe I'm trying to lure you into a false sense of security. You never know with me. Everything could be fine. Could be an awful for all you know.

    Hah, joke's on you! You can't trick me if I'm going to trick myself first... wait, that's not good either, right? Anyway, that's my secret, I'm always convinced that everything is going to get worse.

    River Crossing in a literal sense lol. If anything, Dogma is a much better metaphora for what is to come in that chapter. I won't discount all of them quite. I mean, at least a one of those names is attached to a complete bastard. Maybe one or two aren't as bad as you expect.

    My money is on Clarice having some redeemable traits. We know for sure that Zafir is a complete bastard and I am convinced that Trevor is worse than Hitler and Ramsay Bolton combined. As for Violet... so far my negative opinion on her comes solely from the fact that she is Trevor's sister, although that has been enough to give me a very negative opinion on her. I don't really care for her aside from the fact that I want her and her brother gone, preferrably painfully permanently. Clarice is the one I'm willing to keep a bit of an open mind to as we really don't know anything about her.

    And just out of curiosity, you said a despicable character named Trevor was submitted on another story, do you mind telling me which?

    I honestly can't recall the story. I have looked through a few I am following, but can't find it anymore. Perhaps it wasn't even a story I was actively following, but one of the many I've only been reading occasionally, but I know for sure that I have read it somewhere. All I remember is that the Trevor from that story was a horrible person in more than one way, very creepy (which would match with what you revealed about the third kidnapper) and that he had a sister.

    Unexpectedly as it mean seem, this title is linked to the remnants of the Harvest Hills group. (I might need to come up with a new name for them now that they've left it Harvest Hills.)

    The group formerly known as the Harvest Hills group really needs a new name. Although, Harvest Hills group sounds so familiar by now. But now I am curious. I mean, at least in german a dogma (which is exactly the same word) has a very negative connotation, often linked to fanatism, so I was pretty sure that it hints at Zafir's way of seeing things and the strict rules he enforced in his community.

    Plus it's about time Maria appeared in the story in more than just flashbacks.

    Indeed it is. She has been mentioned so many times that I now have big expectations for her. In a talk with imighthavebrokenit, we realized how much Maria and Josie have in common with all the stuff that happened to them, so I am definitely excited to see her in action.

    I've got a lot of planning to do. I've only got the goal of the act and the premise of it down. One character act as well. There's still 8+ characters I need to think about. I don't want to leave them out of character development. Especially considering how many are in need of some screen time.

    Well, I am convinced you're going to manage giving all of the characters their screen time. Of course, these goddamn bastards Trevor and Violet can just die offscreen before the next part starts for all I care and their deaths really can't be soon enough, but the rest should be interesting. Especially as you have hinted at loads of Jake flashbacks, so he is likely going to be a pretty important character. And well, I like Jake, so that is also a good thing. Will there be flashbacks from people outside of Zafir's group too?

    And, like, sad-feels or angry-feels or worried-feels?

    All of them and more. Worried is my default state when reading Monument, although at the end of some parts, I feel a bit of welcome relief. Some scenes were undeniably extremely sad (especially the deaths of Anthony and Christian, or Josie's current emotional mess) and every time these bastards Trevor or Zafir are even mentioned causes me to get all big, green and angry. The only feels that have been largely absent so far have been happy feels.

    Like when Jerry hit Josephine. Or whenever Jerry did something else questionable.

    Hey, I have totally forgotten what a complete bastard the early Jerry has been! But anyways, he was replaced by Zafir as the object of my hate pretty quickly. And now I got Trevor, who is worse than the old Jerry and the new Zafir combined. Someone, and with that I mean Josephine, needs to absolutely slaughter that bastard and perhaps his sister too, as soon as they try anything, or even better, before they try anything.

    Well, I wouldn't submit a character that ties to them if I were you, because it makes it really hard to find a reasonable reason for them to meet again in the apocalypse. I've come up with a reason for Sasha to ever show up. I'm not sure if I could do it again. I would suggest, if you do decide to submit another character, that you make them unrelated to Josephine or Anthony.

    Oh shit... now it sounds even worse. If you're going to have a problem introducing a character related to Josie, does that hint at her impending death? Of course, I'm probably the most paranoid person I know when it comes to this, but now I am even more worried than before, if that is even possible D:

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    This is good. This is very good I am looking forward for the next parts in a mixture of excitement and dread. Mainly dread of course, altho

  • he'd like to name his firstborn son NoHope. He believes that the kid will have a great career in medicine or politics with such a name.

    Now that's a mayor that I can truly stand behind.

    Don't have a heart attack or something. Keep your Cardiologist on speed dial, Speaking about my cardiologist, he'd like to thank you

  • I'm probably grasping at straws here, but could this be an argument in favor of Josie's survival chances for A Man Gone?

    I can't confirm anything, obviously, but I've been known to lead you into the wrong state of mind before... Anything I say that might sound like I'm sparing a character/axing a character should probably be taken with a grain of salt. But, as for Josephine's chances... she's still got a lot of potential. I've been known to killed characters with potential.

    But now I am curious. I mean, at least in german a dogma (which is exactly the same word) has a very negative connotation, often linked to fanatism, so I was pretty sure that it hints at Zafir's way of seeing things and the strict rules he enforced in his community.

    Perhaps I wasn't entirely aware of the full meaning of it. Everything I've looked at for the meaning behind the word has compared it to religious principles that, I believe, are widely accepted. However it can definitely apply to Zafir and his group's morals and rules. In this case, with the chapter, it more so applies to both Zafir's group and the Harvest Hills group (they're probably gonna have a new group name in By Those Beyond.)

    Will there be flashbacks from people outside of Zafir's group too?

    I haven't thought too far into that. For starter's, it'll include mostly flashbacks connected to Zafir's group. Which applies to Jake, Jordan, Christian, Keith, Zafir himself, Trevor, Violet, Clarice, her brother Vincent, and even Lindsay. However, just because I named them doesn't mean they'll get a flashback or even be included at all. It'll probably be more focused on Jake and Zafir than anyone else. Harvest Hills has more than a week of missing context within the first two chapters of the story and the gap between acts 1 and 2. I plan on taping into that. Maybe not now though.

    The only feels that have been largely absent so far have been happy feels.

    There will be all kinds of emotional tidbits soon. Anger, sadness, disgust, fear, and maybe just a little bit of joy.

    Someone, and with that I mean Josephine, needs to absolutely slaughter that bastard and perhaps his sister too, as soon as they try anything, or even better, before they try anything.

    Don't act too rashly, or someone else might suffer the consequences.

    Oh shit... now it sounds even worse. If you're going to have a problem introducing a character related to Josie, does that hint at her impending death? Of course, I'm probably the most paranoid person I know when it comes to this, but now I am even more worried than before, if that is even possible D:

    IT HINTS AT NOTHING. It just doesn't make sense for someone who knew a character before the apocalypse to meet after, like, two months into it. I said I figured out a way to make Sasha relevant, but I'm not sure I could do it a second time without repeating myself. It doesn't mean Josephine is going to die. It also doesn't mean she's going to live, but you get what I mean.

    Don't have a heart attack or something. Keep your Cardiologist on speed dial, Speaking about my cardiologist, he'd like to thank you

  • Voting is closed!

    (!) Josephine will promise Daniel to stop treating Jake like the enemy and accept him as a trusted member of the group.

    I've worked on Jake's part in the chapter for a bit. It needs a lot more work since I think this could be the last part to chapter four. There's a good amount of ground to cover. I need to establish a good few things.

  • Oh so this is what you've been up to. Cool. :)

  • CHAPTER FOUR (Part 5)

    A Man Gone

    Jake shifted his weight and felt a sharp pain shoot across his side. It caused him to winced slightly and let out a soft whimper. He looked up towards the sky that was a depressing shade of gray. Behind the cold clouds was the sun. It glimmered with pitiful rays of sunlight that barely made their way through the thick clouds. Jake realized this might be the last thing he would see. It didn’t make him appreciate it anymore. It was just gloomy. He supposed it was fitting. The world was just a depressed landscape now, it was only right that the sky mimicked its style. Its sadness.

    Here he was, thinking poetically, on the vague assumption he was about to die. Maybe Zafir just wanted to talk. Maybe he was going to make him an offer, one he couldn’t refuse. Maybe he was going to put a bullet in his forehead like he did to Jerry. So many possibilities. Yet there was probably only one way this was going. The last of the three seem the most likely. He was going to have to face them with only seven bullets, and the number of men against him were likely much greater than that. They had their own automatic rifles and he was stuck with a crummy pistol.

    “Jake!” the voice of Zafir boomed once more from the other side of the roof’s hump. Jake couldn’t avoid this much longer. He could try to negotiate with him, like what Jerry did. Then again, it didn’t end too well for him. Going up shooting would just get him killed, and it wasn’t even a sure fire way to kill Zafir. In fact, he would probably injury some of the others—maybe even kill one of them by accident. Despite them most likely trying to kill him and all that, he doubted they shared Zafir’s feelings against him. He didn’t want to kill them since it seemed to be unnecessary. But if he killed Zafir, maybe his men would stop their pursuit with him, and leave the others at the doctor’s house alone.

    Jake tried to take a breath and felt the pain in his side again. Broken ribs, he assumed. No more delaying the inevitable. “Zafir?” he said, lip slowly quivering with the pain. “It doesn’t have to go this way, Zafir. You don’t have to kill me.” Jake’s brow furrowed with anger he didn’t know he had. “You-- You didn’t have to kill Jordan. You didn’t have to make Christian suffer!”

    “They betrayed me, Jake, like you have now.” The clanging of the ladder hitting the roof’s gutter hit Jake hard with worry. “You can always make this easy on yourself, Jake.”

    Jake bit his lip slightly and then waved the pistol just over the roof’s hump dismissively. “I don’t like making things easy, you know.” Jake’s face contorted into a remisinseing smirk, adding, “To think, you used to be the voice of reason on my shoulder.”

    “Time’s have changed, Jake,” Zafir replied stiffly. Jake picked up a tone of displeasure in his voice, followed by the soft, metallic creaking of the ladder’s steps. Someone, who Jake presumed to be Zafir, climbed onto the roof. “I’m already… too far down this path. I need to finish,” Zafir hissed with a clear goal fresh in his mind.

    Jake’s grip on the pistol’s butt tighten with regret. He had to kill Zafir. He had to. Jake couldn’t though. He couldn’t kill Zafir. He couldn’t lower himself to his level. He wasn’t a murderer, like Zafir was. Sure, Jake wasn’t exactly a good person. But he wasn’t bad one, either. Jake held his pistol in the air and lowered to the other side of the roof’s hump, gently releasing it from his grasp and letting it slide down the roof. He surrendered. “Zafir, Jerry is dead,” Jake explained. “It’s over. The body count doesn’t have to grow any higher.”

    Zafir bent down and picked up the pistol. Jake heard the clicking sound the ejected the clip, then pulled back the slide to discard the loader bullet. “Every bullet counts,” Zafir murmured as he retrieved it from the gutter. “One bullet is all it takes to end a life. It’s strange to have such power.”

    “Is power what you wanted all this time?” Jake questioned, now holding his side with the hand that once held his pistol. He propped himself up with his other hand and painfully rose to face Zafir. Jake could never get over his appearance now. The white bandages covering his face made him look like a disgruntled mummy.

    “I had power,” Zafir said. “I had it built up in a mall. It worked. It functioned. You were a witness to that. Then…” His expression twisted with reminded anger. “Then we brought them into our society.”

    “You forced your salvation on them,” Jake added. “They didn’t want it.”

    “I was just trying to save them…” Zafir mumbled. He looked down at the pistol in his hand and then at the one without a clip as if he was debating something within his head. “They didn’t want salvation. Why?” he asked.

    “I…” Jake bit his lip and thought for a moment. “It was the girls that were missing. They weren’t trusting anyone while they were still out there. They were right, sorta. The girls were in the mall.” Jake let out a long, regretful sigh that stung his ribs. “It was all just a misunderstand that got out of hand.”

    “But--” Zafir stuttered with frustration. “But it was Jerry who burned down the mall, caused the deaths of many innocent people. I don’t care they thought of me, or you, but those people were innocent!” he shouted with a vengeful ocean in his blue eyes. “For that... he payed.”

    “Zafir,” Jake said desperately trying to get through to him, “he payed for it. He’s dead now. It’s over!” he exclaimed so believably, he was sure his lie would have fooled himself. Jerry was very much alive. Or dying. Jake didn’t care much for the details right now, because he needed to be sure Zafir would spare the rest of the group. And Jake… he couldn’t turn Jerry. It would tear Jerry’s group apart. Josephine especially. Then again, she probably would have torn him up.

    Zafir paused for a moment and looked at Jake as if he was trying to believe him. He closed his eyes then reopened them with his head facing the sky. He seemed to make the same observation Jake had about it—his expression grimaced.

    Jake stared at Zafir, painstakingly awaiting his reply. He crept a step closer and placed his unoccupied hand on Zafir’s shoulder. “It can all be right. No one else has to die. It can all be good again,” he said.

    Zafir’s grip on the loaded pistol tightened, and he looked at Jake regretfully. “I’m already too far gone…” Zafir raised the pistol slightly and it promoted Jake to make some last ditch effort to convince him. Jake grabbed Zafir’s other shoulder tightly and looked him in the eye. “No one’s too far gone,” he muttered painful, but genuinely. He truly believe that—he guessed it was part of the reason he was trying to save Jerry’s ass.

    With his head lowered, Zafir put his pistol back into its holster and put one arm around Jake. “I…” Zafir mumbled somewhat tearyeyed. He rest his head on Jake’s shoulder. “I-- I killed them…” he continued, “I killed them… Jordan… Christian… I’m... the monster of the story...”

    Jake felt wet tear drops fall on his back. He was slightly taken back by his reaction, but he felt an obligation to comfort Zafir. He hesitantly patted Zafir on the back, and whispered, “But you don’t to kill anymore. You can make right. Jordan and Christian cared for those others—you can do right by them.” Over Zafir’s shoulder, Jake could see down to the lawn and watched as the other six men in Zafir’s group hesitantly lowered their guns—surprised and perhaps even a bit angry with Zafir’s decision.

    The two of them awkward separated, and then the two descended the ladder to the overgrown lawn, where some of Zafir’s forces glared daggers towards Jake. One of them clearly wanted revenge. Though most seemed confused. At least one of them seemed relieved, as they quickly and unhesitatingly clicked the safety on their rifle, a clear expression of solace etched on his face. Zafir took care of the rest by waving his hand slightly to settle the others. Possibly out of fear of being out numbered, the final naysayer lowered their rifle to the group. Jake a deep breath that hurt his side some more. If they found out Jerry was alive… He shuddered. Zafir himself would surely kill him, Jerry, and everyone in between. He started something he couldn’t compromise.


    Josephine rolled her eyes slightly—it wasn’t annoyance or anything like that. Perhaps, she was a little reluctant. She was careful that Daniel didn’t see her roll her eyes, since she chose considerate to the little boy’s worries. Maybe he was right. She had been bitch. She extended her pinky finger to Daniel. “Pinky promise, that’s what you kids do, right?” she asked, a little sarcastically in an attempt to uphold her previous attitude a little longer. She didn’t really want to admit to being a bitch in front of Daniel.

    “Yeah, alright…” Daniel agreed, eying Josephine suspiciously. Daniel held out his pinky finger, and said, “Pinky promise?”

    Josephine hooked her finger onto Daniel’s and shook gently. “I’ll talk with Jake as soon as he returns. I’ll forgive him.” Daniel flashed her a small smile than turned back to look out the window. Josephine returned a smirked halfheartedly and sighed as she rose to a standing position. She left the door cracked open and headed towards the stairs.

    Josephine paused and felt an odd presence near her. She eyed the door on the opposite side of the hall from the one Daniel resided in, turned the doorknob and walked in on Danny, who sat on the bed with a fluffy cat. His head shot up suddenly, but he sighed and settled his vision on the cat again. “What are you doing up here?” he asked glumly.

    “I was just…” She paused and shook her head. “I was just looking around.” She looked at the cat. It had orange fur and was very fluffy. It looked as content as could be sitting on the bed with Danny petting it. “Is that your cat?” Josephine asked, getting ready to back out of the room.

    Danny shook his head. “He’s Calvin’s. His name’s Phil. Don’t tell him-- Calvin, I mean, Phil likes more,” Danny said, smiling awkwardly.

    “Phil the cat,” Josephine mouthed inaudibly. She sighed and bit her bottom lip. “I’ll be seeing you…” she said, and Danny nodded in reply.

    Josephine left the room and started down the stairs. Half way down, Daniel suddenly poked his head out through the railing at the top of the stairs. He abruptly shouted, “He’s here!”

    Josephine let out an even longer sigh and hurried down, missing what Daniel said next. She rushed into the living room and found Calvin and Atlanta still working on Ashley’s wounds. It seemed they had made some progress. She darted past them, then past Jerry who still laid barely conscious, and opened the front door. There, Jake stood with his hand clenching his side and his finger hovering over the doorbell. “You’re…” Josephine began, but paused when Jake smiled grimly. She stood silent and anxious for a second, and was looking for some words. Maybe “You’re alive!” or even the cold “You’re back.” No. She leaned forward suddenly and kissed Jake on the lips. She stepped out onto the porch with him and rested her arms on his shoulders.

    “Uh…” Jake tried to mumbled, but with Josephine kissing him, it proved difficult. He let Josephine stop on her own accord and she looked over his shoulder, only to see Zafir standing at the end of the drive way with his hands folded in front of him. The two other trucks were parked outside the property.

    She let out a sigh. “You son of a bitch,” Josephine huffed as she slapped him across the face without holding back. He recoiled slightly, causing him to turn towards Zafir for a second. Zafir was put slightly on edge by this, but Jake raised his hand and he stayed where he stood.

    “You motherfucker,” Josephine exploded further, jamming a finger to Jake’s chest. “You brought them right here!” she hissed. “You brought him here!”

    Jake drew in a few heavy breaths as he tried to explain. “Calm down, I’m trying to help,” he hissed assertively through agonizing pain that was quite noticeable. “He won’t come any closer,” Jake peeked back over his own shoulder, “for now,” he worryingly added.

    She bit her lip regretfully. Having a second thought. “Did they make you? I’m sorry... I hit you…” Josephine turned around, but before during see saw with Trevor and Violet standing off to the side of the porch. The large smirk Trevor wore annoyed her infinitely. She continued towards the doorway, but was surprised by Jake gently grabbing her hand and stopping her from entering the house.

    “I…” Jake mumbled breathless. “I couldn’t shoot him.”

    Josephine’s mouth fell upon and she see jerked her hand from Jake’s weak grasp. “You had the chance?” she growled.

    “I crashed on the bike… I…” he gestured towards himself and limped forward a step to try to keep some level of secrecy. “I fucking pussed out,” Jake bluntly cursed at himself. “But it’s going to be okay. I’ve gotten through to him. We’re at… something of a stand still. I told him to give me a little time to explain the situation. But Josie--” he caught her eyes narrow with even more anger suddenly and he rephrased himself. “Jospehine—they think Jerry’s dead. It’s only thing holding this together. If they find out… they’ll…. they’ll kill him, for starter’s. Then me. Then I don’t know what.”

    “What did you do?” Josephine questioned, taking a step forward.

    “I told him Jerry was dead… assuming… he is alive, right?” He tried to take a look inside the house but Josephine blocked him from entering.

    “He’s stable,” she hissed back in an unmoving stance.

    Jake bit his lip. “Good…” he mumbled. Jake peered at Zafir from the corner of his eye and looked back at Josephine suddenly. “Zafir, on the other hand, is mentally unstable. I’m keeping up a lie right now. I’m gonna go with him, back to the campsite to pick up the others--”

    “Others?” Josephine exclaimed. She jabbed him with a finger again and whispered under her breath, “Whose side are you fucking on?”

    “Yours,” Jake answered with complete absolution.

    Josephine leaned closer and angrily muttered, “If you were on our side, you would have taken the fucking shot and killed him.”

    “I couldn’t kill him,” Jake suddenly growled back with a furrowed brow. He leaned back and calmed down. He actually looked like he might cry. “You just don’t understand. I’ll explain everything - absolutely everything - later. But no one else needs to die, Josephine. No one!”

    Josephine sighed reluctantly. “What about Jerry? Isn’t he going to kill him, like you said?” she asked.

    “Hide him for now. Ask the doctor, I’m sure he has some place to keep him for the time being. We’ll figure something out… No one needs to die, Josephine. Just trust me. I’ll take care of Zafir. You all just need to stay safe. Hide Jerry somewhere he can breath. And make sure everyone knows, if asked, Jerry is dead.” Jake took a breath and looked back at Zafir. “I’ll take care of everything else.”

    “No one needs to die BUT Zafir. Can’t you see that, Jake?” Josephine gave him a betrayed look and shook his head. “You’re being a fucking idiot.”

    Jake took a defensive step forward. “Can’t you fucking see? This all started over a misunderstanding. Jordan, Christian, almost Jerry, not to mention those who were lost in the fire.”

    “What misunderstand, Jake? Tell me, why is him mur… killing Jordan and trying to kill Jerry a misunderstanding?” Josephine crossed her arms and waited for an answer.

    Jake looked as if he was going to open his mouth, but hesitated. He stopped and looked at Josephine in a strange sense. Like he was protecting her from something. Josephine rolled her eyes frustratedly. “I--” Jake began to breaking the silence. He stopped once more when he looked back at Trevor, who was stepping towards the steps. Jake immediately grabbed his shoulder and got in front of him as fast as he could limp and pushed him back towards the house, hunting himself in the process. Jake raised his voice to speak to Trevor, loud enough that even Zafit could hear. Perhaps that was his goal. “Now listen, Trevor,” he said calmly, “you stay here and protect them from any of the dead. And do whatever the lady says.”

    Trevor backed up into the doorway with his hands raised mockingly. “Whatever, big dick. C’mon, Violet.” Him and his sister stepped past Josephine and into the house.

    Jake leaned in close to Josephine again, and then muttered, “Do everything I say and everything will be alright.”

    As Jake turned away to join Zafir, Josephine grabbed him by his tie and pulled him close to her. She knew enough to whisper. “Kill him,” she ordered.

    Jake frowned and straight out his tie and collar. “I don’t have any advantages. My ribs are broken and I think I have a sprain. I can’t ran. I can barely breath.” He forced a reassuming smirk. “I’ll do what’s necessary.” His expression faded into a painful look as he limped towards Zafir and left Josephine standing at the door, confused and angry. As Jake looked back at the house, he saw Daniel looking at the window at him. He looked betrayed. His expression stung Jake deeply. But in the end, it didn’t matter if they thought ill of him. All that matter was that they would be safe.

    And that no one else would have to die.

    End of Chapter Four: A Gone Man

    Thousand Eyes - Of Monsters and Men

  • End of the chapter. You know what time it is! Question time! :D

    Who are your favorite characters and why?

    Who are your least favorite characters and why?

    What characters do you have a mixed opinion on and why?

    What characters do you sympathize with and why?

    Thoughts, criticisms, and general view on this chapter?

    What do you think will happen in the fifth and final chapter of Act 2?

    Where do you think the story will go in Act 3: By Those Beyond?

    What are some themes you would like explored?

    What characters do you think are prime for/in need of development?

    Any further speculation that you might like to include?

    Well, I await your answers in my sleep. I'm going to bed finally. I hope you are have a good night!

  • Who are your favorite characters and why? Jake, Josie, and Atlanta. Mostly because I think they're all cool, and well rounded characters. And we can never forget Jerry,

    Who are your least favorite characters and why? Trevor and Zafir. I still don't trust them people. And I never will.

    What characters do you have a mixed opinion on and why? Kinda Zafir really. He's going mental, which makes him more dangerous really.

    What characters do you sympathize with and why? Jake. He's done nothing wrong really.

    Thoughts, criticisms, and general view on this chapter? It was pretty good. I really liked it!

    What do you think will happen in the fifth and final chapter of Act 2? Fluffy unicorns and rainbows.

    Where do you think the story will go in Act 3: By Those Beyond? Probably not where I want it to go, I'm guessing it's not going to a well-established government safe-zone in the Bahamas.

    What are some themes you would like explored? I don't know. Stuff. Things.

    What characters do you think are prime for/in need of development? Not really sure. Zafir's group I guess.

    Any further speculation that you might like to include? Nah.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    End of the chapter. You know what time it is! Question time! Who are your favorite characters and why? Who are your least favorite ch

  • edited August 2015

    Whoa... um... wow. I did not see that coming. Any of it. There are so many things I'd like to comment on at once, so let me start chronologically.

    This part marks the part where Jake became one of my favourite characters without a doubt. His thoughts and feelings really made me sympathize with the guy. I can even understand his reason for not shooting Zafir and surprisingly, I like him even more for it. Of course, Zafir is bound to cause trouble and as long as Jerry is alive, Zafir can't coexist with the group. And since Jerry is hopefully not going to die anytime soon, Zafir still has to die sooner or later and he still deserves to die. But for now, this was a nice change, especially for Zafir.

    Speaking about Zafir... He surprised me. It appears that deep down inside of him there is indeed a little bit of good. Still, he just coldly executed Jordan and he let Christian suffer and I can only speculate about the nature of his relationship with Maria. And now, all of a sudden, he expresses regret and shows some deep thoughts and tries to appear sympathetic... and the worst part is, it works. I still hate Zafir, for all he did to the group, but I hate him a tiny bit less now. The part where he, quite truthfully realized that he has been the monster of the story, that was perhaps one of my favourite moments of the story.

    Now to Josie's part. It has been a nice change for her as well, as she was noticeably less melancholic in this part. Phil the cat was great and it also made me feel a bit more for Danny. Part of me hopes that the group takes the cat with them when they leave. Perhaps they can take Calvin with them as well.

    And what can I say, Josie indeed got her chance to forgive Jake :D At first I was baffled that she just kissed him, but then I realized that there have been some hints. I have suspected that at least part of her earlier anger at Jake was her way of being worried for him. As for Jake, well, he certainly did not see it coming. And neither did he see that slap coming. As undeserved as it was, it was hilarious and great. I had to imagine the scene from Zafir's point of view and that just made it even funnier. This situation must have been extremely awkward for everyone involved. Hopefully something comes out of this hilarious kiss/slap mix. I mean, that guy just selflessly put himself into huge danger again, just to help her group and I hope that Josie realizes this. Her anger is not entirely unfounded of course, but Jake is a great guy and does not deserve her anger, as much as I'd love to read more about Josie using her signature slapping move on him.

    Finally...

    “Now listen, Trevor,” he said calmly, “you stay here and protect them from any of the dead. And do whatever the lady says.”

    Oh no, oh hell no! I have no words for how badly this son of a bitch needs to die. Hopefully Josie won't make the mistake of trusting this bastard. After what he did to her (including the fact that he is passively responsible for Anthony's death, if I'm not mistaken), I hope that she gets a chance to absolutely destroy him. And well, if Violet has any objections to this, she needs to be dealt with as well. However, the one positive thing I saw from him in this part was that I realized that Trevor does not take Josie seriously in the slightest. He is almost certainly underestimating her and that might cause whatever he is planning to fail.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 5) A Man Gone Jake shifted his weight and felt a sharp pain shoot across his side. It caused him to winced slightly

  • Who are your favorite characters and why?

    This list keeps getting longer and longer. Perhaps for the first time, I can reasonably include Josephine at the top of my list without having to sound immensely biased. She had very good stuff in this chapter, from her silent and understandable anger at pretty much everyone, to the hint of her old self she showed in her interactions with Dan and Danny, to her awesome kiss/slap combo with Jake, this chapter certainly had the best stuff for her so far. Another favourite of mine is Jake, without a doubt. He already achieved this position when he saved Josie's life at the end of the last chapter, but this one just cemented his position even further and really fleshed out his character. To my surprise, he might be one of the most moral persons this story has featured so far and I hope that this does not cause his undoing in whatever he has planned for Zafir. Atlanta is still one of my favourites, although she took a backseat to Jake and Josie in this chapter. Nonetheless, she had a very good scene with a wounded Ashley before they brought her to Calvin and she is just a great character altogether. And finally, Jerry M.F. Stewart, who obviously had little to do in this chapter. But the part where he referenced to himself as Jerry motherfucking Stewart when he lay barely conscious on Calvin's table, that was great :D

    Who are your least favorite characters and why?

    Trevor, that bastard. Right now, he is the only option for the third kidnapper, which would make him the one responsible for the majority of bad things that happened to the Harvest Hills group, Josephine in particular. It has been hinted that the kidnappers helped the horde breaking into Harvest Hills, by luring the walkers towards the walls. That would make Trevor semi-responsible for the death of Anthony. He is without a doubt responsible for the death of Dean and the main reason why the Harvest Hills group tried to escape from the mall, provoking the wrath of Zafir in the process. This makes him, by extension, responsible for the deaths of Christian and Jordan and for Jerry's current problem. By kidnapping Josie and by taking her brother away, he is also mainly responsible for the emotional trauma she currently has. And even if he is innocent, which he just isn't, he is still an obnoxious asshole with zero redeemable traits. Arrogant, aggressive, creepy and rude are the only traits I saw of him so far. I can only hope that this arrogance will be his undoing when he tries to finish what he started with Josie. Another contender for my least favourite would be Violet. While we know nothing of her, she is Trevor's sister, which is enough for me to hate her guts. Perhaps she is even fully okay with her brother being a murderous kidnapping wannabe-rapist asshole and even helps him in achieving his goals, or at the very least could try to prevent anyone from harming him. And this puts her at the same level as him, in my opinion.

    What characters do you have a mixed opinion on and why?

    Zafir, surprisingly. I still hate him, although I don't hate him even nearly as much as I hate Trevor and Violet. Unlike them, he has shown surprisingly good character traits in this part and had the important insight that he is the bad guy here, that he went too far. Of course, he has to die in order to save Jerry and I don't feel sorry for that fact, but I hate him a bit less now. He is evil, he is a complete bastard, but he is not the worst character encountered by the group and he is more than just that evil bastard. Still, when the time comes for him, I won't be sad. He deserves his death without a doubt.

    What characters do you sympathize with and why?

    Jake, he is a great guy. He put his life on the line more than once to help the group, he directly saved Josie's life once and while he got a kiss for his effort, he also got the most undeserved slap ever directly afterwards. And still, he holds no resentment towards her and continues to save her life, even if she has a different opinion about it. I also deeply sympathize with Josephine's view on the topic, as her anger is more than understandable and she is still on the edge after all that happened. Both are somewhat right in this situation.

    Thoughts, criticisms, and general view on this chapter?

    This was a fantastic chapter. Somehow, you even managed to top the last chapter. This last part has to be by far one of my favourites in the story and I deeply enjoyed ever part of Josie's reaction to Jake's return. Speaking about Jake, he definitely did a big step in this chapter, up to the point where I could see him leading the group in the long run. I even have the feeling that you managed to improve your writing and I have no idea how you managed to do this, considering how brilliant your writing has been already. Undeniably, this chapter got me even deeper connected to the characters and your writing had me even more excited and anxious than before.

    What do you think will happen in the fifth and final chapter of Act 2?

    Trevor will happen. He is a timebomb and I can't see him behaving somewhat decently for much longer. Sooner or later, he is going to try something bad and I hope Josephine is ready for that. Also, flashbacks will happen. Perhaps, Zafir will die in this chapter and the rest of the group will accept Jake as their new leader or something like that. Since you said that the story would move a bit slower in Dogma, I don't know if all of these storylines will come to a conclusion, but I am almost certain that at least something with Trevor will happen and very likely something in the Zafir storyline as well.

    Where do you think the story will go in Act 3: By Those Beyond?

    If Zafir is going to die here, then the group could focus on rebuilding. I really can't make anything out of that title, but I guess San Antonio will reappear, which means that Jerry and Sasha will probably reunite. This should be interesting. Josie and Jake will hopefully put their differences aside, if they both survive their respective struggle and manage to reunite. Anyway, I can see the story getting even larger in Act 3. Perhaps they will indeed try to rebuild.

    What are some themes you would like explored?

    Themes... hm. Whatever this thing between Josie and Jake is, I like to see more of that. She definitely made her intentions pretty clear by kissing him and I am sure Jake had no objections either. Considering what happened afterwards, I am not sure if romance is the correct term for their situation, but it probably comes close. There might be at least one good thing coming out of the Harvest Hills groups involvement with Zafir's group after all.

    What characters do you think are prime for/in need of development?

    The damn bitch. I mean Violet of course. So far, I can only speculate how badly she needs to die (very badly), but she might be even worse than I think. Or she might be better than I think, but as long as she does not do anything against her brother, she's just as dead for me. Anyway, she could need a bit of development, as we know absolutely nothing about her, aside from the fact that she is the sister of a monster. Perhaps now that there will be Zafir flashbacks, there could also be more for the characters of Maria and Clarice.

    Any further speculation that you might like to include?

    I think I got into detail with the other questions already, although, perhaps I have further speculation for the situation with Zafir and Trevor. Zafir is clearly broken by the thought that he has been the bad guy all along. While he mustn't know about Jerry, I can see him trying to redeem himself for now. Perhaps he tries to make amends, or perhaps he can't take it anymore and decides to commit suicide. In any way, I don't think he will stick around for much longer. Trevor will probably be confirmed as the third kidnapper soon. However, I am scared for how he is going to reveal it. I mean, while he is not the brightest candle on the cake, he won't just go on and reveal to the group that he is the one who caused all the bad stuff that happened to Josie and by extension, to the whole group. Since I am convinced that he is more than just a bit displeased that Josie managed to get away from him the first time, he could try to kidnap her again, or he could just flat out try to rape/murder her and everyone else in the group. With Ashley and Jerry being too wounded, Atlanta being preoccupied with being worried about Ashley and Calvin being too busy to mind him, all that stands between him would be a kid, a cat, a second kid (or whatever age Danny is), and the girl he put through a severe emotional trauma. I hope that either Jake comes to the rescue again, or that Trevor is indeed underestimating how much of a mean punch Josie can deliver when she's angry. Considering how she snapped at Jake in this part, she is definitely very angry.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    End of the chapter. You know what time it is! Question time! Who are your favorite characters and why? Who are your least favorite ch

  • I'm scared for Jerry. Come on, they're right there.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER FOUR (Part 5) A Man Gone Jake shifted his weight and felt a sharp pain shoot across his side. It caused him to winced slightly

  • Who are your favorite characters and why? Jerry because he's Jerry. I like Josie too, cause's she's nice.

    Who are your least favorite characters and why? Zafir because that bastard almost killed Jerry.

    What characters do you have a mixed opinion on and why? I guess Jake. I don't like him, I like him.

    What characters do you sympathize with and why? I guess Zafir, but I still hate him.

    Thoughts, criticisms, and general view on this chapter? I enjoyed reading it and it was great. I don't think my favorite though.

    What do you think will happen in the fifth and final chapter of Act 2? Zafir finds out Jerry is alive, more people die, yeah.

    Where do you think the story will go in Act 3: By Those Beyond? Maybe back to its roots with community survival.

    What are some themes you would like explored? Romance/obsession, pure revenge (more of this), and lots of anger.

    What characters do you think are prime for/in need of development? Well we haven't seen much of Atlanta in the past couple parts so her, and Jerry in reaction to his new state.

    Any further speculation that you might like to include? Well some bad things are going to happen and I feel if Sasha is really coming something else is too. I'm not sure what.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    End of the chapter. You know what time it is! Question time! Who are your favorite characters and why? Who are your least favorite ch

  • edited August 2015

    Small update:

    I've updated the original post with a new banner that I'm quite proud of and have relabeled the chapters with a continuing number rather than have it reset each act. Once I have a few more things settled I'll likely add the chapter titles for the third act, I've only got, like, one I'm dead set on and a few I'm choosing between. I'll also begin writing Dogma soon, although right now I'm not rushing myself, I'll try to get some work in on it very soon. I hope to keep you updated and I'll also likely return to Silicon in the near future, if anyone was interested. I've got plans to make. Peace.

    Edit: I forgot to thank everyone who has already answered the questions. It's much appreciated!

  • Who are your favorite characters and why?

    I have always liked her but after this chapter Josie became my favorite by far. She is tough, cool and sometimes funny even after the shit she went through. And for some reason I found it cute when she randomly kissed Jake, then hit him in the face and then apologized awkwardly. She is just great. Jake is also cool and my second favorite, I liked how he dealt with Zafir.

    Who are your least favorite characters and why?

    I still hate Zafir. Even if he realized what he did with Jordan and Christian, that does not make it better. He is not completely evil but still a danger for the group. And if Liquid is correct with his theory about Trevor, then Trevor is my least favorite and even worse than Zafir. Now that I think about it, this kidnapping was the main reason why the Harvest Hills group even got into conflict with Zafir, so if Trevor is part of the kidnapper group then everything bad that happened after the death of Stan is his fault. And his behaviour makes me really angry, how he is always so smug and rude.

    What characters do you have a mixed opinion on and why?

    I dont know. Violet maybe? I dont hate her like Liquid does, because we know nothing about her but I dont trust her. And if Trevor is the kidnapper, then she could try to protect him from the group. But we dont know much about her and I dont think she is evil like her brother.

    What characters do you sympathize with and why?

    I sympathize with Josephine, because in my opinion she went by far through the most shit in the group, maybe aside from Jerry. And with Trevor around her and the complicated situation with Jake it does not look like she can catch a break anytime soon. I also sympathize with Jerry because after he helped the group so much, he is now probably brain-damaged and he does not deserve this.

    Thoughts, criticisms, and general view on this chapter?

    I loved it, probably my favorite together with the last chapter. The last part was great and the chase scene with Jake was really intense. It also brought out some different sides in the characters, mainly for Zafir, Josephine and Jake

    What do you think will happen in the fifth and final chapter of Act 2?

    There are some plots that will probably be resolved. Jake will probably encounter more of Zafirs group, maybe Clarice and Maria who havent appeared in a while. And at the Calvins house, I think there will be more development to the situations of Ashley and Jerry. Jerry will definitely survive to meet Sasha again but I think that Ashleys condition could get worse. And since you have said that the kidnapper plot will be resolved soon, I think Trevor will reveal himself in some way and will most likely try to attack Josephine or even the whole group. I hope Josie gets a chance to take vengence on him. I also think that if Trevor attacks her and if she gets the chance to kill him, then she will kill him in a really brutal way. After how aggressive she was to Jake in this part, I almost feel a bit sorry for Trevor if he tries to rape her or something like that, because he does not know who he is messing with. But if he tries such a thing he also definitely deserves it if she kills him in a brutal way.

    Where do you think the story will go in Act 3: By Those Beyond?

    I can see the group trying to rebuild something, perhaps build a safezone of their own together with the remains of Zafirs people. If Zafir and Trevor does not die in the next chapter, they will probably be the main threat in Act 3. I think at least Zafir will continue to be a threat over the whole Act but I dont think Trevor is going to live much longer. Maybe he survives this chapter but he will probably die early in Act 3 at the latest. Generally I think the group could grow bigger and maybe they will even get large enough to start their own community.

    What are some themes you would like explored?

    The JosieXJake romance thingy was cute and it would be nice to see it developed. These two have a nice chemistry. I also like the idea of the group settling down somewhere like they did in the beginning instead of them being on the run again. And Jerrys struggle with his new condition could be interesting to read about.

    What characters do you think are prime for/in need of development?

    Maybe some people from Zafirs camp but I think that is planned already because of the Zafir flashbacks you have announced. From outside of Zafirs group we dont know anything about Violet and perhaps she is not bad at all or even a help to the group when Trevor becomes a problem. We also know few things about Trevor but I am scared of him and dont want to know more about him.

    Any further speculation that you might like to include?

    If Zafir dies in this chapter, then there will definitely be an even bigger threat soon and we will probably all miss Zafir. And I also think if Sasha appears and sees the state Jerry is in, then she will go totally crazy.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    End of the chapter. You know what time it is! Question time! Who are your favorite characters and why? Who are your least favorite ch

  • CHAPTER TEN (Part One)

    Dogma

    The pain in Jake’s side threatened to make him break down and cry in the presence of Zafir. Jake didn’t want that. It wasn’t some obligation to keep a manly appearance. It was Zafir himself. His lifeless expression caused by the bandages that covered most of his burned face. Only his mouth, eyes and nostrils were exposed. His hands didn’t fair much better. Jake was surprised he could hold a gun, let alone drive a truck.

    The truck Jake was seated in was the same one of the three they had—one was taken by Danny and the others, the third was in front of them on the long stretch of country road between the doctor’s house and their campsite. Laredo was behind them. Jake was glad to have left the city one he did. There was something about its significant lack of dead that made it even more creepy than the places that were completely overrun. Though he would surely have to go back again soon. The doctor’s house on the other hand seemed nice for what it was. Peaceful without being creepy. Maybe it was the occupants that made it more inviting.

    Jake caught Zafir eye him slowly then return to the road. The silence was almost unbearable now. Jake would have given anything for it to end without a conversation, if that was even possible. If he was just alone, it would feel less painful. Zafir’s presence hurt in an odd way. While Jake couldn’t stand the pain in his side and the pain of his breathing, Zafir merely being with him in the same truck was so strangely reminiscent of the early days, that he wanted it to stop more than the pain of his ribcage.

    “I’m sorry,” Zafir said without a hint or tone of life in his voice, breaking the silence for the first time in the last ten minutes of gloomy road. The way Zafir looked at him said something different. Even with the bandages, his face spoke much more than his voice. Legitimate sadness rung throughout.

    “It’s going to be okay. We’ll get the others and go back. Everyone will readjust eventually,” Jake replied with a forced smile. The way Zafir frowned after that suggested he wasn’t so sure of what Jake said.

    Zafir smacked his dry lips together and followed with a sigh. “We’re telling Maria what happened to Christian fully. Whatever the reaction.”

    Jake didn’t like the mathematical tone in his voice. “I’ve told her most everything already. Everything but your… let’s say, treatment.” Jake’s tone mimicked Zafir’s in a subtle, somewhat mocking way. Luckily Zafir was none the wiser to his spiteful voice. Jake hated what Zafir did to Christian. He tried to make his last moments a worry-fest. It was right behind killing Jordan. That shot felt like it was still ringing in his ears. It could speculate what she spoke up about when she was given the chance to speak. He knew it didn’t sound good. Jake shook his head softly and moved on to the pistol in Zafir’s holster. Jake emptied pistol was still in Zafir possession.

    “We’re almost there,” Zafir announced glumly about half an hour after they passed the farmhouse, as they entered an area full of trees that surrounded the road ahead. In time, they passed a rest stop. When Jake and some of the others had investigated it much earlier, they found the floor practically cover with the dead bodies of walkers. Jake had, of course, recognized it as Jordan’s handiwork.

    About ten more minutes of the prolonged silence and they arrived at a clearing that was likely a campground before everything went downhill. The most notable thing about it was the large bonfire in the center of camp that was now just embers that glow softly orange. Jake painfully pushed open his door while keeping a light pressure on his side. He stepped out with Zafir and the two walked towards the dead bonfire. Jake stared with anger at it. He wished he didn’t put Christian’s body in with the rest without Maria’s approval.

    Zafir extended his arm to Jake with a glum, but hopeful look on his face. Jake couldn’t turn him down on the offer. He was in pain and walking did not make it any better. Jake rested his other arm around Zafir and walked with him further into the campsite. Tents were made in a semi-circle around the bonfire. There were a few torn up tents that had been taken down. Pretty much every tent out not where spares being used only because of the horde that attack in the night.

    Several people stopped what they were doing and looked at the approaching group of Jake, Zafir of the men who all piled into the other truck so him and Zafir could be alone. The people at the campsite were mostly women, a few teenagers and kids. Civilians with no training in weapons. Several people who were injured or dying were in a small trailer that was converted into a poorly managed medical area. Anyone who was bitten was already put down. The grotesque remains of anyone caught and killed when the herd hit were already smoothing in the bonfire with all the other poor souls.

    With the group Jake was traveling with consisting of about eight including himself, he would have guess with the added number of everyone else, they were still standing with around thirty people. That was half the number of people they set out with. Jake felt guilty for not knowing a quarter of their names. If lived much longer, he would make an effort to learn all of them names.

    People began to gather around them in a pattern similar to the curved line of tents. Quiet mumbles and people murmuring to each other was what filled Jake’s ears as one Zafir’s men walked up with a plastic box for Jake to stand. Him and Zafir had already agreed they he would be making the announcement. Jake stepped up onto the box and rose above the crowd by about half a foot. Jake glumly looked at his sickle-looking, sleep-deprived audience. “Jerry, the man who burned down the mall, took our shelter and killed our loved ones, is finally dead. Dead by Zafir’s hand...”

    Jake paused for a long time to allow the sudden thickening of the quiet whispers and gloomy responses to slow down a bit—but thankful for Jake, the group was no more happy than he was to make the fake announcement. He had to live with a lot of thing he had done—this would be one of them. Lying to a group of pained people. But he had to ensure that the killings would be over. Even if it was vengeance, mildly justified—it wasn’t right and he couldn’t let it continue. He saw revenge first hand. It twisted and ripped apart a man he once knew.

    Jake looked at the grim faces. They were sad, conflicted, but rightfully so. Among the faces, at the far end of the group, Jake could see Maria. Her messy black hair was rolled into a poorly fashioned bun. Her olive-tan skin seemed dirty, even from where he stood. All in all, she looked upset and the most conflicted of all. Once he was done with his speech, he was going to have a talk with her.

    Sighing slightly, Jake prepared to continue. But out of the crowd, a woman pushed through to the front and walked right to Zafir, then without a second thought jabbed him in the chest with a finger. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” the woman shouted. Jake quickly recognized her to be Clarice Willows. Her hair was blond, so curly and messy it could have been mistaken for poorly done dreadlocks. “It wasn’t just your right to take that fucker’s life!” She turned to the crowd as if looking for back up, adding, “Jerry personally killed my brother! I found him with his throat slit in a pool of his own blood at the lab that where the fire started...” Clarice trailed off. She shot back over towards Zafir and jabbed him once again.

    Jake saw fit to back up the argument before Zafir could get his piece in. “It was everyone’s right,” he called out while placing a hand on Clarice’s shoulder. “It was your right, my right, Zafir’s right—everyone’s. So what if, in the end, it was Zafir who took his life? What matters now is not arguing over this bullshit. What matters is this: rebuilding. Maybe not a mall. Maybe stop with the meth and try something less volatile. But this city—Laredo is oddly vacant of the dead. Maybe, just maybe, we can rebuild there. Start a new life. A new fuckin’ beginning for everyone.” Jake paused and looked at the increasingly hopeful faces of the crowd. Even Clarice had reluctantly quieted down to listen. It was time to address the elephant in the room. “But when I say everything, I mean everyone. Those who were with Jerry’s group didn’t know of what he did. Some still don’t. Jerry acted alone. I’ve gotten a confession from one of the members awhile ago that put him in the right time and place to do it. The point is the others with him are innocent as can be. Those of them who want to will be joining us. And we will not hesitate to accept them, whether some of you like it or not.”

    The group of thirty murmured louder than before, to both each other and questions directed towards Jake. It was hard to hear them all, let alone single a question out to answer. Jake felt overwhelmed. He waited several more seconds for it to die down again before he finished. “We'll be moving camp about forty miles down the road towards Laredo to be in a place to begin working on a new home. I’m sure most of you are ready to leave this area especially. I’m sorry most who died that night couldn’t receive proper burials. It-- It’ll--” he stuttered a bit before biting his tongue and giving a genuinely hopeful expression. “From here on out, everything will be better.”


    Josephine sighed bitterly as she pushed open the door to the cellar. A dark set of stairs lead down into the basement, barely illuminated by the natural light being let in from the opened door. Calvin gently pushed past her and stepped down the stairs carefully with a flashlight in hand. He shined it on the steps as he descended with Josephine close behind him. Soon after them, Trevor followed, carrying a sleeping Jerry in his arms. He was getting somewhat fed up with all of manual labor he was getting stuck with. Danny closely pursued them with the metal rack and the two bags. They had briefly removed the bags of blood and fluid to transport Jerry downstairs. He held the needles out of harm from anyone and carried them with a latex glove on the single hand. Calvin was getting increasingly worried of infections Jerry could catch if not treated handled with care, and he didn’t want to risk anything.

    Calvin flashed the light around the room. Its light eventually settled on a box among other boxes and he began digging through. He pulled what looked like a used wedding candle and lit it with a lighter he produced from his pocket. The room steadily grew brighter with irradiation of the flickering orange flames. He then moved on to pulling out a large recoernation table and unfolded it.

    Trevor approached without be called upon and laid Jerry down on it, grunting as he did so. He mumbled something frustratedly, but inaudible to hear. He waved tiredly and huffed on his way back up the stairs.

    “Danny,” Calvin called. He gestured for him to come over to Jerry’s side. Calvin pointed to a spot close to the table and near Jerry’s head, ordering, “Set it there.”

    Danny did so without question. Setting the metal rack where he pointed and handing the needles to Calvin, who once again disinfected them with some wipes, then again with Jerry’s arm. He plunged the needles into the cleaned spot and sighed.

    Josephine mumbled worryingly, “He’s still pale. Is the blood working?”

    Calvin nodded without meeting Josephine's eyes. “Yes. It appears to be working.” He frowned suddenly, worrying Josephine slightly. “It was a… uh, I didn’t ask since it wasn’t important at the time, it was life or death. But I wanted to make sure, since you’ve donated blood to Jerry, that you don’t have any blood borne diseases, including sexually transmitted diseases?”

    Danny wandered off to do something useful to escape the awkward conversation that was starting. He walked to the far corner of the basement where he pulled open one of the small, dirty windows that were near the top of the cement walls to let in some more light and let the room air out a little. It was going to get offly stuffy if Jerry had to stay down here long. And, no matter how vague Josephine was when she explained what was happening, he suspected Jerry might be down there for a while. The thought crossed him, that maybe some dead could squeeze themselves through the opened windows. So he pulled himself closely to the opening, and could say without much doubt that not even his slender body could make it through easily.

    “Ugh,” Josephine sighed. Out of the corner of Danny’s eye, he could see her roll her eyes. “Nothing that I’ve know of,” she finally answered. “My dad had a bad heart, but that’s about it.”

    Calvin frowned and stretched his neck awkwardly. “I don’t mean to pray, but if there is anything along the lines I’ve mentioned, you don’t have to be embarrassed to answer.”

    “I’ve never had sex. No diseases there,” Josephine sarcastically added. It was Calvin’s turn to roll his eyes.

    Danny finished opening a second window and snickered softly to himself. He rejoined them and dusted off his hands on the sides of his jeans a good distance away from Jerry. “So,” Danny mumbled to himself, “I’ve opened a few windows to try to keep him from suffocating.”

    Calvin nodded somewhat dismissively, but still appreciatively and focused on Jerry’s unconscious self. “I’m expecting he’ll wake in about a full day’s time, maybe half.” He made a displeased expression and looked towards Josephine. “If what you’ve said is true, you need to get the rest of your group up to speed about this whole Zafir thing.”

    “Obviously,” Josephine agreed while absentmindedly looking at the wall of boxes to Jerry’s left. “I’ll make sure they know everything I do. You two get it, right?” she asked.

    Calvin nodded and Danny shrugged. “I think I’ll sit in on the conversation so I can hear it again,” Danny said. “Though… I think I get the gist of it. This Zafir guys does like bad news. Does your guy Jake know what’s he’s getting into?”

    This time Josephine shrugged and didn’t answer, worrying Danny slightly. “He’s getting us into something I don’t think we want to be a part of,” Josephine added. “What does he think? That we’ll merge with Zafir’s group willingly?”

    Danny bit his lip. “It couldn’t be that bad, right?” he asked without much knowledge of what Zafir’s group had been known for. He tilted his head upwards at the sound of something upstairs. It sounded like coughing. He tapped Calvin on the shoulder and the two started rushing upstairs, leaving Josephine alone with Jerry.

    Josephine didn’t follow immediately, because she noticed something sticky on the table when she touched it. She brought her hand to face and saw blood on her finger tips. Jerry was bleeding again. Trevor must have pulled some stitches when moving him to the basement. She jogged up the stairs after the two, careful to not touch anything with her bloodied hand on the way up. She entered the living room and walked in on Calvin smiling, Ashley sitting up slightly and Atlanta holding her hand tightly.

    Josephine shot a happy smirk their way as she walked up beside Danny. She leaned on the couch and her mind was instantly brought back to the blood on her hand. She removed from the couch discretely and noticed it left a red smaug. The couch was already ruined with the amount of blood Ashley had bleed from her gunshot wounds, so Josephine thought little of it.

    “How long have I been out?” Ashley asked tiredly looking around the living room. Her shoulder was covered with gauze and pads to the bleeding.

    “I’d say a few hours,” Calvin answered with a hopeful expression. “You were shot six times—three times in the shoulder, one once on the forearm, and two grazed your arm a little deeply.”

    Ashley blinked with surprise and attempt to move her shoulder to investigate. Calvin raised his hand to signal she shouldn’t try to move. “It doesn’t hurt like I thought it would,” Ashley noted.

    “You’re on a lot of painkillers.” Calvin frowned, adding, “You were also unconscious most of the time. I’ve gotten all the bullets out, yet you lost a lot of blood.” It was at that point Josephine noticed the coatrack being used to hold up a bag of blood and fluid that trailed with a clean plastic tube into Ashley’s arm. “You’re lucky Atlanta shared your blood type,” Calvin pointed out.

    Ashley frowned. “I… I don’t even know your name. Thank you though. Thank you so much,” Ashley said appreciatively.

    Calvin’s smiled sthergened and he gestured a hand to himself. “I’m Calvin,” he moved his hand to Danny, “And this is Danny.” Danny nodded softly at his acknowledgment.

    “Thank you,” Ashley said once more to the two. She noticed Josephine standing over her and smiled. “Josephine, you look good.”

    “You don’t look so good, yourself,” Josephine joked. Her returned to Jerry and she tug on Calvin’s shirt. “Jerry’s bleeding, I think Trevor pulled a stitch were moving him.”

    Calvin reached for a small box and handed it to Danny. “Go with her and take care of Jerry. I need to see to Ashley right now,” Calvin ordered, still cheerful. Josephine followed Danny back to the basement, and the two soon stood over Jerry.

    “Help me turn him over,” Danny said as he waited for Josephine to follow his lead and roll Jerry onto his side. Jerry rolled over with some difficulty and Danny investigated the wounds on his back. “Jeez,” he exclaimed under his breath while examining the holes in his lower back. It was from when Jerry had fallen onto the barbed wire fence. Even few inches there was a torn up wound with several stitches unclosing each. One of the wounds near his spine had its stitches torn out place. Danny reached for box and pulled out some of the things need to it clean it and resew it. He looked towards Josephine and asked, “Do you want to give it a try?”

    “Uh,” Josephine mumbled awkwardly, “I’ve never sewed shut a wound before.”

    “It’s alright, I’ll show you how.” Danny frowned and considerately asked, “Or you could visit with your friend, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind the company.”

    [Let Danny teach Josephine the basics of stitching a wound shut.]

    [Decline, leave Danny to do it and talk with the others.]

  • edited August 2015

    I am very intrigued by Jake's plan. He obviously wants the best for everyone, to give them peace and the chance to rebuild. However, at least Josie is obviously more than skeptical about joining Zafir's group and I can't imagine that Atlanta or Ashley would be too thrilled about it either. There's also the Jerry situation. Does Jake expect the rest of the group to leave him behind in Calvin's cellar? While the rest of them could join Zafir's group, perhaps even find acceptance and joy among them, there is no way that people like Zafir or Clarice or all the others who lost loved ones ever since Jerry burned down the mall will forgive him. Of course, the situation has been Zafir's fault, for forcing Jerry and the others to join them, but I am pretty sure Zafir's group does not see it that way. At this moment I'm not even sure if Jake has a plan, or if he is just desperately gambling in an attempt to save everyones life.

    [Let Danny teach Josephine the basics of stitching a wound shut.]

    This is a pretty important survival skill. Who knows, perhaps Josie will be in a situation where she absolutely has to stitch up a wound sooner or later, either for herself or for someone else and where someones life will depend on it. And even if she never gets into such a situation, it can't hurt to know about it.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER TEN (Part One) Dogma The pain in Jake’s side threatened to make him break down and cry in the presence of Zafir. Jake didn’t w

  • [Let Danny teach Josephine the basics of stitching a wound shut.] Last time we didn't teach someone about survival he got stung to death by bees.

    “I’ve never had sex. No diseases there,” Josephine sarcastically added. It was Calvin’s turn to roll his eyes.

    The fact that you specified this makes me think this will change.

    Jerry, goodnight my sweet prince. And God I hate Clarice. I wish Jerry killed more of their people.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER TEN (Part One) Dogma The pain in Jake’s side threatened to make him break down and cry in the presence of Zafir. Jake didn’t w

  • In a world of dead people walking around, eating live people, this would probably be a nice thing to know. [Let Danny teach Josephine the basics of stitching a wound shut.]

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    CHAPTER TEN (Part One) Dogma The pain in Jake’s side threatened to make him break down and cry in the presence of Zafir. Jake didn’t w

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