I just wanted to say I'm working on the One-year Anniversary Special. Hopefully, the hiatus will end soon -- however, I don't want to give a precise date for when it will come out as I'm afraid I wouldn't make it. Bottom line, though, is that it's on its way. Also, I'm in good health and reading a ton (finished Halo: Contact Harvest and The Revenant late last month, reading Dune, and Resident Evil: The Umbrella Conspiracy on the side, currently. [And yes, I do have an unhealthy obsession with video game novels.]) Thank you for your patience, I'll see you again soon!
Thanks for keeping us updated Hope Take your time, no stress, I simply know it's going to be amazing. After all, it's always jaw-droppingly amazing. I am extremely excited for the Anniversary Special and for more Monument in general of course.
Also, I don't think there is such a thing as an unhealthy obsession with video game novels By the way, is Dune worth the read? I still got the novels in my bookshelf but never got around reading them.
A Small Update:
I just wanted to say I'm working on the One-year Anniversary Special. Hopefully, the hiatus will end soon -- however, I d… moreon't want to give a precise date for when it will come out as I'm afraid I wouldn't make it. Bottom line, though, is that it's on its way. Also, I'm in good health and reading a ton (finished Halo: Contact Harvest and The Revenant late last month, reading Dune, and Resident Evil: The Umbrella Conspiracy on the side, currently. [And yes, I do have an unhealthy obsession with video game novels.]) Thank you for your patience, I'll see you again soon!
Thanks for keeping us updated Hope Take your time, no stress, I simply know it's going to be amazing. After all, it's always jaw-droppingly… more amazing. I am extremely excited for the Anniversary Special and for more Monument in general of course.
Also, I don't think there is such a thing as an unhealthy obsession with video game novels By the way, is Dune worth the read? I still got the novels in my bookshelf but never got around reading them.
A Small Update:
I just wanted to say I'm working on the One-year Anniversary Special. Hopefully, the hiatus will end soon -- however, I d… moreon't want to give a precise date for when it will come out as I'm afraid I wouldn't make it. Bottom line, though, is that it's on its way. Also, I'm in good health and reading a ton (finished Halo: Contact Harvest and The Revenant late last month, reading Dune, and Resident Evil: The Umbrella Conspiracy on the side, currently. [And yes, I do have an unhealthy obsession with video game novels.]) Thank you for your patience, I'll see you again soon!
Vincent sat at the edge of the clearing, stared at the campsite in complete horror. The image that lay before him shook him to his core: four bodies sprawled on the ground, inch wide holes in them, laying in puddles of their own congealed, bug-infested blood.
It had taken him twenty seconds to kill them all . . . thirty seconds to reach to the clearing . . . twenty minutes to give up searching the woods for the silhouettes in the brush . . . thirty minutes to realize his mistake, horrified: No one else was ever there.
Time seemed irrelevant by the time he collapsed at the campsite. Night had turned into day, and he still remained. Questions popped up in his incoherent mind then faded before he could find an answer. It occurred to him, though, slowly, that no dead were close enough to hear his shots; he was alone for miles.
Vincent was forced to confront a terrifying reality: Zayne’s trail had long since gone cold.
A quick update: I've been working on a new, larger part with the Laredo community alongside this tiny piece. It's not in a publishable state, though, and will have to be refined a little. I might see if someone (in real life) is willing to give it a lookover and help fix any mistakes and improve upon the work. That'll probably see a release in the very near future. No news for the anniversary special, sadly—I'm still unsure of what to do with it. Anyway, I hope everything is going good for everybody. I'll see you all again soon enough!
As short as this part was, it already put me right in the hype train I'm amazed to see this great story finally back and I'm excited for more of the Laredo crew. At the same time, I am very interested in how Vincent's storyline is going to continue, that seems to be heading towards something really awesome. Perhaps he is even that raft guy whom Ashley saved, whose identity is still a mystery for me.
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 2)
Vincent sat at the edge of the clearing, stared at the campsite in complete horror. The image that la… morey before him shook him to his core: four bodies sprawled on the ground, inch wide holes in them, laying in puddles of their own congealed, bug-infested blood.
It had taken him twenty seconds to kill them all . . . thirty seconds to reach to the clearing . . . twenty minutes to give up searching the woods for the silhouettes in the brush . . . thirty minutes to realize his mistake, horrified: No one else was ever there.
Time seemed irrelevant by the time he collapsed at the campsite. Night had turned into day, and he still remained. Questions popped up in his incoherent mind then faded before he could find an answer. It occurred to him, though, slowly, that no dead were close enough to hear his shots; he was alone for miles.
Vincent was forced to confront a terrifying reality: Zayne’s trail had lo… [view original content]
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 2)
Vincent sat at the edge of the clearing, stared at the campsite in complete horror. The image that la… morey before him shook him to his core: four bodies sprawled on the ground, inch wide holes in them, laying in puddles of their own congealed, bug-infested blood.
It had taken him twenty seconds to kill them all . . . thirty seconds to reach to the clearing . . . twenty minutes to give up searching the woods for the silhouettes in the brush . . . thirty minutes to realize his mistake, horrified: No one else was ever there.
Time seemed irrelevant by the time he collapsed at the campsite. Night had turned into day, and he still remained. Questions popped up in his incoherent mind then faded before he could find an answer. It occurred to him, though, slowly, that no dead were close enough to hear his shots; he was alone for miles.
Vincent was forced to confront a terrifying reality: Zayne’s trail had lo… [view original content]
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 2)
Vincent sat at the edge of the clearing, stared at the campsite in complete horror. The image that la… morey before him shook him to his core: four bodies sprawled on the ground, inch wide holes in them, laying in puddles of their own congealed, bug-infested blood.
It had taken him twenty seconds to kill them all . . . thirty seconds to reach to the clearing . . . twenty minutes to give up searching the woods for the silhouettes in the brush . . . thirty minutes to realize his mistake, horrified: No one else was ever there.
Time seemed irrelevant by the time he collapsed at the campsite. Night had turned into day, and he still remained. Questions popped up in his incoherent mind then faded before he could find an answer. It occurred to him, though, slowly, that no dead were close enough to hear his shots; he was alone for miles.
Vincent was forced to confront a terrifying reality: Zayne’s trail had lo… [view original content]
Natalie passed through a pair of double doors and approached the coffee table at roughly the room’s center. She took a seat that faced the doors and sat straight. Natalie gazed at the twenty or so spectators spread around the room—triple the usual, she noted, but few regulars.
Several minutes passed. The double doors opened and Natalie’s composed stare met the eyes of her fellow council members: The lead builder, a man whose duties were overseeing construction and expansion, entered first; behind him came Danny, Jake’s typical stand-in; Josephine followed; and after another minute, the scout coordinator entered.
They seated themselves, the builder to Natalie’s left, Josephine and Danny to her right, separated from Natalie by an empty chair, and the scout coordinator across from her. Natalie considered the three empty seats, said: “We’ll begin without the others. I suspect they’re preoccupied.”
“We have an update on the rescued man’s condition,” Danny said with a tense, poorly hidden tone of disappointment.
“Yes, it’s gotten worse,” Josephine affirmed. Her lips formed a frown. “He was burning up with a fever of 104 all of a sudden. It seems one of the sun burns has gotten badly infected. Calvin has been tending to him with Jake’s assistance, but if it doesn’t pass quickly, he’ll need an antibiotic.”
“Antibiotics are in limited supply,” the scout coordinator cautioned.
The lead builder grunted. “Wasn’t he on it before his condition settled the first time? If he’s not getting better, we shouldn’t waste it on him.”
“Except he was improving,” Josephine asserted. “I want Calvin allowed the resources he needs.” She eyed the others, minus Danny. “Does it have to be put to a vote?”
Natalie addressed the lead builder: “Do you want to voice your opinion some more?” He glanced around the table, doubted he would win without the other, more likeminded council members present, and shook his head bitterly. Natalie turned toward Josephine and Danny. “Then tell Calvin we trust his judgment.”
The lead builder grunted once more but remained silent as a few sheets of paper were divided among them. The three extras were handed to one of the observers and passed around. On the first few pages was a report of all the damage caused by the storm . . . the locations of major breaches, all already repaired, and minor patches in need of reinforcement on a hand drawn map . . . the number of people hurt—luckily there were no major injuries . . . the damaged planters . . . the one known death and where his grave was plotted.
As Josephine read the last piece of information on the page, she felt sudden remorse. Natalie noticed it, mentally noted the expression—she knew the story and pitied the younger woman’s experience of being powerless to help.
The pages were discussed briefly. The lead builder announced that repairs were now underway for the minor structure damage and the search for anything missed continued. He also clarified, solemnly, that the dead man was buried.
The next few listed the three new arrivals of “Lindsay Burk,” “Keith Carter,” and “Sasha Levine,” and included the notes of an interviewer. It was obvious the interviews were a lot more specific than normal.
The scout coordinator scanned the papers, asked: “Did the extra scrutiny reveal anything important?”
“They aren’t dangerous, for one,” Natalie answered. Aware of the spectators, she added: “I would state my reputation on that.”
Natalie watched as the final few pages -- scavenger reports, inventories, and a detailed, worrying growth chart -- were read around the table. She and the scout coordinator saw the change of her council members’ expressions. Together, the papers said one thing: the community would not be able to sustain itself in several months.
The scout coordinator explained as much to the other council members as to the spectators in the room: “Scavenging for food has become steadily harder . . . our scavengers are forced to travel further and further for less and less. This location is no longer ideal.”
Josephine bit her bottom lip. “Is there a solution?”
Natalie gave a small nod, said: “We have an idea.”
“However,” the scout coordinator began, “they’re still just ideas.”
“However . . . it seems probable in conception.” Natalie retrieved a few more sets of papers, passed them around, once again handing the extras to one of the ‘civilians’ sitting in on the meeting to be shared. “We believe the obvious solution is to divide ourselves into more sustainable groups of fifteen or twenty people and keep a good but travelable distance between each other.”
“Smart,” Josephine mumbled.
Natalie studied her, then nodded again. “The second option would be to migrate the entire community to a better-suited location.”
Danny spoke up: “That wouldn’t work. Such a big group would attract a lot of attention. We’d be goddamned screwed if a herd happened on us.”
“Natalie and I came to the same conclusion,” the scout coordinator said.
“We’d just abandon Laredo, though? Our hard work, abandoned for a place without any security?” The lead builder leaned forward with a look of resentment. “Is there not a third fuckin’ option?”
“Not presently,” Natalie confirmed, then, to the crowd as much as him: “But we’re open for suggestions.”
“Natalie and I both agree,” the scout coordinator said, “that the first option is the only reasonable option. While there’s still the problem of scavenging…”
“--We believe we have a solution to that as well,” Natalie finished. “The two of us have coordinated scouts to search for five abandoned plots of farmland—ones with crops still, suitable for restoration and habitation. If we were to do this, take the farmland, make it defendable, livable . . . it would be a matter of weeding.”
The crowd dispersed through the double doors while Natalie and Josephine stood and watched. A few questions had been answered by Natalie and the scout coordinator, it seemed to have calmed the present worries of the crowd. A few moments passed, and Natalie and Josephine were alone.
Josephine glanced at Natalie from the corner of her eye, said: “I don’t appreciate being kept out of the loop . . . though, at least you’ve made a plan.”
“A plan,” Natalie repeated, slightly sour. “A plan is all it is right now. The scouts need to find viable land for this to get close to succeeding.” She faced Josephine and explained: “Since I’ve joined this community, we’ve seen exactly three hordes pass us by, at least, ten miles. . . they left trails in the fields, hundreds of feet wide, you could follow their trail for miles, stayed there for weeks . . . and the farms, the houses, the crops in their path? Essentially gone. Ruined. If there’s a threat we need to anticipate out there, it’s that.”
“So it’s not a perfect plan right now,” Josephine said. “If we can establish defenses, it’d be damn close.”
Natalie remained silent for a prolonged moment, contemplating, then said without apology: “You, the council, and the rest of the community will be kept up to date on this matter from now on.” She strode forward and stopped in the doorframe, then glanced back and said “Keep me updated on the injured man’s condition” before continuing out the door.
Josephine entered the infirmary and walked through its long hall on her way to the man’s room. A week ago, he was three-quarters dead with a death that seemed imminent. His persistence to live surprised everyone—herself included. Now, despite her hope it world turn out otherwise, it seemed he was on his way out.
As Josephine passed the room adjacent to her destination, she noticed a man fast asleep in the room. Without even slowing her pace, she knew it was Jake. The sleep deprivation had gotten the best of him. When she and Danny left, he was noticeably overworked, and they thought it best for Danny to sit-in.
Josephine entered the next room over and found Calvin tending to the man. Danny paced slowly at the far wall and looked up when she passed through the door’s threshold. There was a prolonged silence until Calvin finished what he was doing and acknowledged her entrance with a glance, and said: “Danny explained what happened at the meeting.”
Josephine nodded toward the man in the bed, asked: “Have you given him the antibiotic?”
Calvin chuckled. “I started him on an antibiotic before you left.”
Josephine mimicked a smile, but felt a pang of worry. She tried her best to conceal it, said “I salute you for putting your medical career on the line” and approached the side of the bed. Her expression unconsciously changed while looking at the sliver of exposed stars at the man’s neckline.
Calvin followed her eyes and frowned. “Danny and I will watch over him tonight,” he said, and then solemnly added, “The restraints will restrain him—they’re there, if need be.”
“Only a supervillain could escape those,” Danny chimed in lightheartedly as he entered the semicircle around the man. “And, seriously, what are the chances he’s a supervillain?”
“50/50.” The three turned to see Jake, the speaker, standing in the doorway. Though his voice dripped with pessimism in that moment, he smiled when his eyes met with Josephine’s.
“How do you come to that conclusion?” Calvin asked.
“50 percent chance he’s good . . . 50 percent chance he’s not . . . There is no splitting hairs there, no formula to that; it’s just how we should consider him until . . . it can be proved otherwise.”
“You’ll find no arguments here,” Calvin said quietly.
“C’mon, Jake,” Josephine said. “We should head home.”
Jake gave a small smile, said goodbye to Calvin and Danny, and followed Josephine through the door. She was a few paces ahead of him, but he caught up quickly. He said, “Danny debriefed me. Natalie’s plan sounds solid.”
Josephine said nothing for a few long moments, a frown upon her face. Finally, she whispered: “I think there’s an ulterior motive behind her plans.”
“What do suspect?” Jake asked, with a tone of slight disbelief.
“Natalie knows Jerry is among us,” Josephine explained. “I’m not sure how long she’s known. At least since Sasha, Lindsay, and Keith arrived. But she knows, and that knowledge is motivating her to take this course.”
“Her plan would benefit Jerry,” Jake pointed out.
“I know it doesn’t make sense.” Josephine paused in the hallway and shook her head while she scratched the back of her neck. “She had a son, didn’t she? He died in the fire, at the mall…”
“Josie,” Jake said, calmly, and looked her in the eye. “She had a son, yeah. And he died at the mall. But Natalie doesn’t know Jerry’s here. She wouldn’t sit on that information if she knew.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Josephine said finally. They walked out into the evening light and stood there for a moment. “But . . . be cautious around her . . . around everyone. We’ll get the word out to Jerry and Sasha that they need to lay low.”
Jake gave a nod, a smile of reassurance, and then they continued to Fairweather Hotel.
Chapter to be continued...
End Notes: Okay, I can't tell time for crap. I had no idea it'd been two weeks since I posted the little bitty part on the 22th of LAST MONTH. I have to apologize for that. I was sort of planning to hold off posting this part until I could make some headway on the next, but, jeez, fifteen days! I'm gonna try to make sure to the next part is written way before that.
Oh yes, it's back I'm happy, excited and extremely hyped to see the Laredo community back. These characters are among my favourites out of all the stories here and despite the break, I haven't lost any sort of investment into them. I don't know what sort of sorcery it is you're using, but I just had to read these names, Josie, Jerry, Jake, and I had a huge grin on my face. The part itself was amazing. It's nice to finally see the council that has been mentioned for so long, though I am curious, are the lead builder and scout coordinater submitted characters that just haven't been mentioned by name in this part, or are they non-user submitted characters you put into the story yourself? And I'm still curious who the missing council members are. Natalie starts to intrigue me. If she truly knows that Jerry is alive, she is a danger to him and to all the others who know and I wonder what her plan is. I especially wonder how Josie realized that Natalie knows about it. Also, the wounded man worries me, but not his condition, but the talk between Josie, Danny, Calvin and Jake. He's probably not a supervillain, but a regular villain would be bad enough. I hope they won't regret nursing him back to health, but I consider the worst. The chapter title still has me on the edge, though with the build-up you just put into Natalie, I also start to consider that the title could relate to Jerry, whom she would see as a murderer for the mall incident. Or perhaps it is both, a literal murderer in the form of Raftman and a perceived murderer in the form of Jerry. In any way, you have me excited and I can't wait for the next parts!
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 3)
Natalie passed through a pair of double doors and approached the coffee table at roughly the room’s c… moreenter. She took a seat that faced the doors and sat straight. Natalie gazed at the twenty or so spectators spread around the room—triple the usual, she noted, but few regulars.
Several minutes passed. The double doors opened and Natalie’s composed stare met the eyes of her fellow council members: The lead builder, a man whose duties were overseeing construction and expansion, entered first; behind him came Danny, Jake’s typical stand-in; Josephine followed; and after another minute, the scout coordinator entered.
They seated themselves, the builder to Natalie’s left, Josephine and Danny to her right, separated from Natalie by an empty chair, and the scout coordinator across from her. Natalie considered the three empty seats, said: “We’ll begin without the others. I suspect they’re preoccupied.”
“… [view original content]
Given my absence, I would like to ask a couple of questions to hopefully get reoriented with the story faster. Normally I do these after a chapter ends, but I'm going to make an exception this time. Since it's been so long since I last asked questions, this might be kind of extensive. Of course, you're free to skip over questions—just point out when you do and, if possible, say why!
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why?
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter?
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
7. Where do you want the story to go?
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
10. What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings?
11. What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see?
12. What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.?
13. What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored?
14. Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why?
15. If you were writing this story, where would you take it?
16. And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations!
Firstly, I'm excited for your excitement! I myself can't wait until this current storyline begins in full, as this has all been mostly set up for it. Anyway...
It's nice to finally see the council that has been mentioned for so long, though I am curious, are the lead builder and scout coordinater submitted characters that just haven't been mentioned by name in this part, or are they non-user submitted characters you put into the story yourself? And I'm still curious who the missing council members are.
The lead builder and scout coordinater are not unnamed submitted characters. I guess you could consider them placeholders if I ever decide to have their roles filled with submitted characters, though that is unlikely as they aren't significant characters. As for the unseen council members: I didn't name them as I want to leave myself some breathing room if I ever expanded upon it.
Natalie starts to intrigue me. If she truly knows that Jerry is alive, she is a danger to him and to all the others who know and I wonder what her plan is. I especially wonder how Josie realized that Natalie knows about it.
Josephine's suspicions will be explored at a later moment. It's going to be vague for the time being.
Also, the wounded man worries me, but not his condition, but the talk between Josie, Danny, Calvin and Jake. He's probably not a supervillain, but a regular villain would be bad enough. I hope they won't regret nursing him back to health, but I consider the worst.
Right now, they have the wounded man snugly secured in bed. It would take serious skills to get out of the bindings they have him in. Then again, what are the odds he's a member of the circus? Hmm... the speculation... it empowers me...
The chapter title still has me on the edge, though with the build-up you just put into Natalie, I also start to consider that the title could relate to Jerry, whom she would see as a murderer for the mall incident. Or perhaps it is both, a literal murderer in the form of Raftman and a perceived murderer in the form of Jerry.
The title does depict elements in this chapter. I will say its originally meaning has flip-flopped since planning, but it still has a clear... host. Though I have to say, I like your interpretation of it!
Oh yes, it's back I'm happy, excited and extremely hyped to see the Laredo community back. These characters are among my favourites out of … moreall the stories here and despite the break, I haven't lost any sort of investment into them. I don't know what sort of sorcery it is you're using, but I just had to read these names, Josie, Jerry, Jake, and I had a huge grin on my face. The part itself was amazing. It's nice to finally see the council that has been mentioned for so long, though I am curious, are the lead builder and scout coordinater submitted characters that just haven't been mentioned by name in this part, or are they non-user submitted characters you put into the story yourself? And I'm still curious who the missing council members are. Natalie starts to intrigue me. If she truly knows that Jerry is alive, she is a danger to him and to all the others who know and I wonder what her plan is. I especially wonder how Josie realized that Na… [view original content]
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why? Jerry, because it's he's Jerry motherfucking Stewart. The other people are fine "I guess".
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why? Natalie, trying to get Jerry, and Clarice, because fuck him.
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why? Sasha, she's iffy. Don't know what's she's gonna do.
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter? Exposition? Getting back into gear.
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter? Maybe it's a lack of action? I dunno.
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.? I guess flesh out the characters more, and use specific details on them to help paint a fuller picture. As for the story, is it really that cold in Texas during the winter?
7. Where do you want the story to go? Wherever the road takes it.
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality? I don't really know. Maybe internal dissent?
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going? No clue to be honest.
10. What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings? Alexandria, Virg- oh right, uh a lighthouse, mine, oil refinery. Las Vegas, New Orleans, Denver. Alaska, Wyoming, Michigan.
11. What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see? Canniba-. The "End is Near!". The Rapture. The Military.
12. What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.? The Walking Dead comics, the Walking Dead show, the Walking Dead game, I also liked Mad Max 2, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, a bunch of others. Does The Mist count?
13. What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored? Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Sasha, eh. Keith, Rooster, Maria, Violet.
14. Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why? I liked "Nine O'Clock Lab" because it was great.
15. If you were writing this story, where would you take it? I'd probably run it into the ground, no idea. Find another community?
16. And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations!All Quiet on the Western Front, To Kill A Mockingbird, A Tale of Two Cities, etc.
Given my absence, I would like to ask a couple of questions to hopefully get reoriented with the story faster. Normally I do these after a c… morehapter ends, but I'm going to make an exception this time. Since it's been so long since I last asked questions, this might be kind of extensive. Of course, you're free to skip over questions—just point out when you do and, if possible, say why!
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why?
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter?
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
7. Where do you want the story to go?
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
10. What are… [view original content]
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 3)
Natalie passed through a pair of double doors and approached the coffee table at roughly the room’s c… moreenter. She took a seat that faced the doors and sat straight. Natalie gazed at the twenty or so spectators spread around the room—triple the usual, she noted, but few regulars.
Several minutes passed. The double doors opened and Natalie’s composed stare met the eyes of her fellow council members: The lead builder, a man whose duties were overseeing construction and expansion, entered first; behind him came Danny, Jake’s typical stand-in; Josephine followed; and after another minute, the scout coordinator entered.
They seated themselves, the builder to Natalie’s left, Josephine and Danny to her right, separated from Natalie by an empty chair, and the scout coordinator across from her. Natalie considered the three empty seats, said: “We’ll begin without the others. I suspect they’re preoccupied.”
“… [view original content]
What are your current, favorite characters and why? Jerry, gotta say, He's grown on me.
What are your current, least favorite characters and why? Gotta say I really don't like this guy that came in on the raft. Don't know why, we'll see.
What characters you do feel unsure of and why? Natalie. Her motives are shrouded in mystery, just as Josephine said.
What do you feel has worked this chapter? Definitely working to kick this back into high-gear. I can feel that this is being set up for something big. (?)
What do you feel has not worked this chapter? I don't know, stuff. Things.
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.? I honestly can't say much, I like that story a lot.
7. Where do you want the story to go? North by Northwest.
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality? I can feel an internal clan war. Maybe.
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going? Ummm... It's definitely going.
10. What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings? Me, personally, I'm always a fan of abandoned ships, crashed planes, random ghost towns, grain silos, churches, and skyscrapers. Weird combination.
11. What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see? End of the World Cults, and the religious nut jobs. Ex-Military bad-asses.
12. What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.? I don't know if it counts as apocalyptic, but one of my all time favorite movies is 'The Day After Tomorrow' and one of my favorite TV shows, though it's kind of post-apocalypse-ish, is The 100
13. What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored? Keith??
14. Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why? I don't know, but I always like Chapter 1. For some weird reason.
15. If you were writing this story, where would you take it? Don't ask me that question. I have a warped mind, and you do not want to know where it goes when i have control. But in all reality, I don't plan far enough ahead to think about where it's going. Most of the time the story just wrights itself for me.
16. And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations! The Hot Zone, A Day In the Life of Ivan Denisovich, The 5th wave, Divergent series...
Given my absence, I would like to ask a couple of questions to hopefully get reoriented with the story faster. Normally I do these after a c… morehapter ends, but I'm going to make an exception this time. Since it's been so long since I last asked questions, this might be kind of extensive. Of course, you're free to skip over questions—just point out when you do and, if possible, say why!
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why?
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter?
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
7. Where do you want the story to go?
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
10. What are… [view original content]
Oh my, questions! You know exactly how much I love answering these, so thank you for asking Oh man, answering these is going to take a while XD
What are your current, favorite characters and why?
Well, take a guess Seriously though, I simply love the way you write Josie and nothing about that has changed during the break. She has become without a doubt my favourite character I ever submitted and her development, from the socially awkward loner she started as up until her starting to take charge in the more recent parts has been one of the most noticeable developments in the entire story in my opinion and I hope her development is far from over. I literally only had to read about her appearing in this part and my day was made and it is unlikely that this feeling is ever going to change, so yeah, favourite character for sure. Speaking about noticeable developments and favourite characters, Jerry absolutely deserves to get mentioned among my favourite characters as well. He is a likeable and ultimately sort-of heroic character, a far cry from the self-centered jerk he started as. Right now, it is bizarre for me to remember that I used to absolutely loathe that guy about a year ago and how much it took me to change my opinion on him, because now I have no problem with saying that I find him extremely amazing. I'd say, he and Josie are certainly my favourite characters. Jake probably deserves to get mentioned as well, he really stepped up big time starting with Chapter 8. Also, he saved Josie's ass pretty much all the time during the final half of Act 2, so that earned him a special place in my heart. And well, he and Josie are clearly so damn OTP-able that I root for them to continue being adorable together for a very long time, though I dread the heartbreak that comes when one of them dies or they otherwise break up. In the end, I also greatly like the other characters of the main cast, like Atlanta, Ashley, Danny, Maria and co., but these three deserve special mention. Also, for some odd reason I am very fond of the secondary character Kurt. He is not among my absolute favourite and definitely behind everyone from the main cast, but since I will never be able to forget the association I made between him and my favourite X-Man Nightcrawler, I still like him a lot.
What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
This is pretty hard for me, because currently I don't hate any of the living characters. Trevor is obviously still my least favourite of all time, though he is a little bit too dead to be the target of my hatred. My feelings for Zafir and Clarice, both of them dead as well, is complicated, so I can't say they are my least favourites either. Out of the living characters... eh, maybe the Raftman, though only because I have extremely strong suspicions against him. I reserve full judgement until we learned about his identity. If he's a good guy (for example Vincent or Zayne), then I obviously don't see him as my least favourite character. If he is an evil psycho/supervillain/circus artist, then the place of my least favourite character is reserved for him. Out of the named and alive characters... man, I don't know. I think the one I'm the least fond of is Violet, though even I have to admit that she never did anything that deserves my hatred, so it's less a case of me disliking her and more a case of me liking every other living character more than her.
What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
Natalie for sure. I am somewhat intrigued by her and at this point, it can go both ways with her. She can become a likeable and complicated character, especially because of her connection to Jerry, or she can become a complete nutjob, obsessed with vengeance and pulling off some sort of scheme that is dangerous for Jerry, Josie, Jake, Atlanta and all of the other characters whom I like so much. I'm hoping for the former and fearing for the latter, which is why I have no idea if I currently like her or not. Also, Sasha. I am surprised that I enjoy her character, but there is the thing that InGen always mentions beong worried about her. I trust InGen with knowing her better than I do, so that makes me worried as well. Only time will tell if these worries are correct, but it is enough to make me feel unsure about Sasha. And out of the dead characters, Zafir and Clarice have been complicated characters, whose development basically erased any true hatred I had for them. With Clarice, it took me until her final moments to be conflicted about her after she spent a majority of her time in the story as a clear villain, but her final action, which was utterly selfless and heroic and likely gave Josie time to fend off Trevor until Jake saved the day, has shaken me so deeply that I still feel completely unable to hate her for her earlier villainy. I'm just shocked about her. And Zafir came back and forth over and over again, one time I despised him more than I ever did with Jerry, then I felt conflicted about him, then he went back to being a hateable whoreson, then he started to change into a more heroic and likeable guy and finally, he ended up as a clear villain, albeit a tragic one. Both made a very memorable impression on me.
What do you feel has worked this chapter?
With this chapter you mean Chapter 13, Murderer, yes? Well, it was a perfect way to get things back on track. I liked the small update on Vincent's situation, since some of the previous chapters have concentrated on the utterly thrilling Laredo plot and while I ultimately prefer the Laredo group, that does not mean that I am not excited to get an update on the Colorado crew as well. Seriously though, after the long break I couldn't have thought of a better way to reintroduce the scenario.
What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
In this chapter in general, I don't feel like anything hasn't worked. The wait between the chapters wasn't ideal, though I understand that sometimes a break is just necessary. And since the quality of Monument is so ridiculously high that I can't even begin to truly praise its brilliance, I honestly don't mind this break too much. It was hard, but totally worth it.
What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
Ha, I don't know. I honestly don't know how you could improve in terms of story, character depictions and writing. Perfect is a strong word, but my dilettantish vocabulary is just not advanced enough to describe it with a different term. Schedule... maybe. As I said before, the wait has been long, but I think you shouldn't stick to a strict deadline when it comes to writing your parts, because that is guaranteed to limit anyones creativity and enthusiasm. And in times where the story isn't outright on a break, I feel like the schedule is fine the way it is. So nope, I am just not able to criticize your epic work here.
Where do you want the story to go?
Happiness, please! I feel so connected to the main cast, that I literally can't wish for anything else to happen. How about an ending in which Josie and Jake, Jerry and Sasha, Atlanta and Ashley, Danny and Maria, as well as Kurt the Nightcrawler because the image I have of him is so damn cool, are in a really safe place, perhaps on some remote island, where they live happily ever after. Josie gives birth to a healthy baby, Dan is fully adopted by Atlanta and Ashley, Jerry's condition improves and Nightcrawler develops awesome teleport superpowers and everything is fine and joyful.
Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
Not towards the wonderful scenario I painted above, I'm afraid. While I hope that not everything is going to become grimdark and depresseing and while I hope that at least some rays of happiness remain, I am afraid the current situation is guaranteed to get worse. I have huge suspicions about Raftman and wouldn't be surprised if he ends up escaping, causing the death of Calvin and perhaps even someone else. Also, Natalie and her connection to Jerry, as well as her plans are going to be explored. I wouldn't be too surprised if she ends up taking control over Laredo in some way, to enact some sort of revenge scheme against Jerry.
Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
There is Fox-Mask guy who is somewhere up there in Colorado and I think Vincent is going to encounter him. Depending on wether Fox-Mask guy is a creepy, but good guy, or a creepy and evil villain, this may end with Vincent teaming up with him to save Zayne, Vincent being killed, or Vincent being nailed to a raft and sent down the river to Laredo. I think, regardless of wether or not Vincent is the Raftman, we are going to learn about the identity of this guy in his storyline and about the reason for him being nailed to a raft. I also think Fox-Mask guy is going to be either a creepy and uneasy ally or the main villain of this storyline. Also, if Vincent or perhaps Zayne or the rooster are Raftman, then this could serve as a way to ultimately connect their storylines in the future.
What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings?
My knowledge about cities in the southern US is limited, so my answer is limited as well. I'd like to see more of San Antonia and perhaps Harvest Hills. In general, as dangerous as big cities are, they could make for intriguing settings. I was also always fond of vast, lush and slightly cold forest areas and if I'm not mistaken, there are some states where this is the general landscape. Correct me if I'm wrong, but these kind of locations are usually found in the northeastern US, right?#
What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see?
The military was mentioned by InGen and quality and I can only agree. Perhaps not necessarily the stereotypical evil military, but a more well-meaning military. Perhaps even attempts at forming a new government. I'd also be interested in learning about the fate of the old government. Another intriguing postapocalyptic theme is winter, because while the cold is nothing but a slight nuisance at best in our civilization, it can become threatening and dangerous in apocalyptic settings. One thing I'm actually less interested in are religious nutjobs, because they are always the same. Once you saw one of them, you saw all of them, as they are almost always these creepy, crazy and ultimately murderous bad guys, who are scary and shocking for a while, but quickly wear off for me.
What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.?
In terms of movies, it is Mad Max for sure. I recently bough Fury Road and I was genuinely moved at how perfect it is. I also like The 100 when it comes to TV shows and I am a big fan of Left 4 Dead 2, which I developed a worrying form of addiction to, and of course, the Fallout series. Fallout 4 is a wonderful game, but my personal favourite has always been New Vegas.
What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored?
The first that comes to mind is Violet. When thinking about my least favourite characters, I realized that she never did anything that left an impression on me. Lindsey as well, which is especially noticeable when I remembered that she is actually part of the original Harvest Hills crew. There is also Keith, though he has become one of my personal heroes when he saved Josie from Trevor's torture dungeon. I'm still interested in how he did this and in his reasons for doing so. As the son of Zafir, his relationship to his dad could have been interesting as well, or at least his reaction to learning about his father's death. So, Violet, Lindsay and Keith. Oh, and Nightcrawler Kurt as well, since I want to know if he is as awesome as my mental image of him. I hope he's not a secret villain and/or complete asshole.
Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why?
I think this goes either to A Man Gone or Dogma. While Monument has always been my favourite story on here, these two chapters have been the point where my jaw just constantly dropped and where some of the most shocking moments of the entire story happened, good things as well as bad things. It featured Trevor and the highly anticipated confrontation between him and the group, it featured the beginning of the Josie/Jake-ship which quickly started to sail, it featured a very intriguing development for Jerry motherfucking Stewardtit featured incredible character-development for Zafir and the highly memorable death of Clarice and finally, it brought many storylines to a satisfying end and did a great job in setting up the next act. Also, Nine O'Clock Lab, because I don't think I ever truly recovered from the overload of shock and joy that was the final part of it.
If you were writing this story, where would you take it?
See my answer for Question 7. I don't think I would be able to make things truly and horribly tragic and I would undoubtedly include a more-or-less happy ending, bittersweet, with emphasis on sweet. There would be hardships, loss and things would get really dark at times, but ultimately I don't think I'd ever take the story to truly depressing levels of grimdarkness and I'd always retain a small inch of hope in the end. So, I think I'd pretty much keep the story as it has been so far. However, I don't know where you have planned to take it, but chances are that it is going to be a lot darker than my own version of Monument would end up as. Though I don't have anything against dark stories in general, I just prefer to keep things above depressing in the very end, as I find myself almost unable to write such things.
And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations!
The one set of novels I always recommend when I'm asked this question is Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. Man, I could fanboy for hours about them If you are even remotely interested in fantasy novels, if you want deeply philosophical and thought-provoking novels that make you laugh like never before, warm your heart like a box full of newborn puppies and make you cry like the victim of an onion-cutting ninja, all of it on the same page, then the Discworld novels, especially everything that comes after Book 3 is just the series of books you need. The author died last year, but in his life he wrote over 40 wonderful Discworld novels, who are always both, utterly funny and extremely thought-provoking. Reading them not only brightened my day, it also affected my philosophy like no work before, convinced me to follow my dreams, brought me to writing my own stuff and it literally restored my faith in humanity. I've been quite the cynic before I started reading these novels, but they turned me into a humanist at heart. Also, they are pretty damn funny, which is probably the most important thing I got from them.
Given my absence, I would like to ask a couple of questions to hopefully get reoriented with the story faster. Normally I do these after a c… morehapter ends, but I'm going to make an exception this time. Since it's been so long since I last asked questions, this might be kind of extensive. Of course, you're free to skip over questions—just point out when you do and, if possible, say why!
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why?
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter?
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
7. Where do you want the story to go?
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
10. What are… [view original content]
Oh my, questions! You know exactly how much I love answering these, so thank you for asking Oh man, answering these is going to take a whil… moree XD
What are your current, favorite characters and why?
Well, take a guess Seriously though, I simply love the way you write Josie and nothing about that has changed during the break. She has become without a doubt my favourite character I ever submitted and her development, from the socially awkward loner she started as up until her starting to take charge in the more recent parts has been one of the most noticeable developments in the entire story in my opinion and I hope her development is far from over. I literally only had to read about her appearing in this part and my day was made and it is unlikely that this feeling is ever going to change, so yeah, favourite character for sure. Speaking about noticeable developments and favourite characters, Jerry absolutely deserves to get mentioned amon… [view original content]
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why? It would be a sin not to put Jerry here. I like Jerry a lot because I think back to when I was actively trying to kill him with my votes, back when he was a douche, but now he's like my absolute favorite. He and Josie, both. They've both morphed the story into what it is at this point, and it's just great.
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why? Not to name names buuuuut Natalie. I can't get the baby thing out of my mind, and I also can't trust a woman who carries around a dead baby, and who also poses a threat to the community and the other characters.
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why? Who was that one creeper kid? Freddie Gomez? Yeah, him. I'm trying to keep a half-minded opinion on him because he's a kid, but just remembering his creeping on Josie makes it difficult to remain neutral.
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter? The entire community idea in general has worked, in my opinion.
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter? Does the break count as a legitimate answer? Aha, I kid, I kid. Everything's been great so far.
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.? I really like what you've done so far, I don't really have any complaints.
7. Where do you want the story to go? You know, I really liked Liquid's remote island idea.
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality? Suffering is one word I would use to describe it.
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going? Definitely not to rainbows and sunshine
10. What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings? The first thing that came to mind was an airport, I'm not really sure why. Oh, and I've heard Nebraska's nice.
11. What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see? Yeah, the military would be cool, as everyone before me said.
12. What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.? The Road by Cormac McCarthy is pretty good, from what I've heard, but I haven't had the chance to read it myself
13. What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored? Dan, Violet, Maria, Rooster, and Zayne are the first five that come to mind. Then again I think Keith is in dire need of expansion, because I forgot he was even around.
14. Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why? I liked Dogma a lot because it really shined a light on the relationships between the characters.
15. If you were writing this story, where would you take it? Happiness pls.
16. And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations! I agree with InGen, To Kill A Mockingbird is pretty good
Given my absence, I would like to ask a couple of questions to hopefully get reoriented with the story faster. Normally I do these after a c… morehapter ends, but I'm going to make an exception this time. Since it's been so long since I last asked questions, this might be kind of extensive. Of course, you're free to skip over questions—just point out when you do and, if possible, say why!
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why?
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter?
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
7. Where do you want the story to go?
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
10. What are… [view original content]
As for the story, is it really that cold in Texas during the winter?
It never gets dangerously cold where I am, but it can definitely get you sick. January is also usually the coldest month and it can be pretty chilly well into February and March—bare in mind, these are Texan standards of cold.
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why? Jerry, because it's he's Jerry motherfucking Stewart. The other people are fine "I gu… moreess".
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why? Natalie, trying to get Jerry, and Clarice, because fuck him.
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why? Sasha, she's iffy. Don't know what's she's gonna do.
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter? Exposition? Getting back into gear.
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter? Maybe it's a lack of action? I dunno.
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.? I guess flesh out the characters more, and use specific details on them to help paint a fuller picture. As for the story, is it really that cold in Texas during the winter?
7. Where do you want the story to go? Wherever the road takes it.
8. Where do you think the story is going in actua… [view original content]
I don't know if it counts as apocalyptic, but one of my all time favorite movies is 'The Day After Tomorrow' and one of my favorite TV shows, though it's kind of post-apocalypse-ish, is The 100.
I've never actually seen The Day After Tomorrow myself, I might check my local library for it. As for the 100, I've watched up to the first few episodes of season three and have enjoyed it. Sadly, Hulu only keeps the five or so latest episodes, so I'm probably gonna have to wait until the full season is released on Netflix
The Hot Zone, A Day In the Life of Ivan Denisovich, The 5th wave, Divergent series...
I haven't heard of most of these, but I'll try to look into them! I'm curious, though. I watched the film adaptation of Divergent and didn't really care for it, but would the book appeal to someone who didn't enjoy the movie?
* What are your current, favorite characters and why? Jerry, gotta say, He's grown on me.
* What are your current, least favorite charact… moreers and why? Gotta say I really don't like this guy that came in on the raft. Don't know why, we'll see.
* What characters you do feel unsure of and why? Natalie. Her motives are shrouded in mystery, just as Josephine said.
* What do you feel has worked this chapter? Definitely working to kick this back into high-gear. I can feel that this is being set up for something big. (?)
* What do you feel has not worked this chapter? I don't know, stuff. Things.
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.? I honestly can't say much, I like that story a lot.
7. Where do you want the story to go? North by Northwest.
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality? I can feel an internal clan war. Maybe.
9. Specifically, wher… [view original content]
I was also always fond of vast, lush and slightly cold forest areas and if I'm not mistaken, there are some states where this is the general landscape. Correct me if I'm wrong, but these kind of locations are usually found in the northeastern US, right?
I'm not familiar with the region, sadly. Though it seems Quality is.
In terms of movies, it is Mad Max for sure. I recently bough Fury Road and I was genuinely moved at how perfect it is. I also like The 100 when it comes to TV shows and I am a big fan of Left 4 Dead 2, which I developed a worrying form of addiction to, and of course, the Fallout series. Fallout 4 is a wonderful game, but my personal favourite has always been New Vegas.
I really need to get around to seeing Fury Road. I only recently watched the seconds and third Mad Max films. I need to catch up with season three of The 100. Left 4 Dead has been on my Wishlist for some time, I would love to play it eventually. And I'm very familiar with the Fallout series; the original Fallout is actually my favorite video game ever!
See my answer for Question 7. I don't think I would be able to make things truly and horribly tragic and I would undoubtedly include a more-or-less happy ending, bittersweet, with emphasis on sweet. There would be hardships, loss and things would get really dark at times, but ultimately I don't think I'd ever take the story to truly depressing levels of grimdarkness and I'd always retain a small inch of hope in the end. So, I think I'd pretty much keep the story as it has been so far. However, I don't know where you have planned to take it, but chances are that it is going to be a lot darker than my own version of Monument would end up as. Though I don't have anything against dark stories in general, I just prefer to keep things above depressing in the very end, as I find myself almost unable to write such things.
I'm pretty sure I agree with you completely on this subject. I'm incredibly apprehensive about taking the story to dark places and worried about making it too depressing. I have a few ideas for the story that would be hard to write if I chose to include them. Hopefully, through choice, they won't all be necessary.
The one set of novels I always recommend when I'm asked this question is Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. Man, I could fanboy for hours about them If you are even remotely interested in fantasy novels, if you want deeply philosophical and thought-provoking novels that make you laugh like never before, warm your heart like a box full of newborn puppies and make you cry like the victim of an onion-cutting ninja, all of it on the same page, then the Discworld novels, especially everything that comes after Book 3 is just the series of books you need. The author died last year, but in his life he wrote over 40 wonderful Discworld novels, who are always both, utterly funny and extremely thought-provoking. Reading them not only brightened my day, it also affected my philosophy like no work before, convinced me to follow my dreams, brought me to writing my own stuff and it literally restored my faith in humanity. I've been quite the cynic before I started reading these novels, but they turned me into a humanist at heart. Also, they are pretty damn funny, which is probably the most important thing I got from them.
Wow! They sound awesome! I took a look at them online and I've gone ahead and put the first book of the series in my to-read
Oh my, questions! You know exactly how much I love answering these, so thank you for asking Oh man, answering these is going to take a whil… moree XD
What are your current, favorite characters and why?
Well, take a guess Seriously though, I simply love the way you write Josie and nothing about that has changed during the break. She has become without a doubt my favourite character I ever submitted and her development, from the socially awkward loner she started as up until her starting to take charge in the more recent parts has been one of the most noticeable developments in the entire story in my opinion and I hope her development is far from over. I literally only had to read about her appearing in this part and my day was made and it is unlikely that this feeling is ever going to change, so yeah, favourite character for sure. Speaking about noticeable developments and favourite characters, Jerry absolutely deserves to get mentioned amon… [view original content]
Not to name names buuuuut Natalie. I can't get the baby thing out of my mind, and I also can't trust a woman who carries around a dead baby, and who also poses a threat to the community and the other characters.
I was going to reply to your previous comment about this but got distracted, but Natalie isn't carrying a dead baby around. Wilson the Baby is actually a well-loved, well taken care of, happy (and living) baby.
Who was that one creeper kid? Freddie Gomez? Yeah, him. I'm trying to keep a half-minded opinion on him because he's a kid, but just remembering his creeping on Josie makes it difficult to remain neutral.
Yep, Freddie Gomez. That's a plot point I desperately need to address. He and Jefferson both will be appearing again.
The Road by Cormac McCarthy is pretty good, from what I've heard, but I haven't had the chance to read it myself.
I actually read that earlier this year. It was good. Very poetic. If I had to describe it in a few words... beautiful, but seriously, seriously messed up.
Dan, Violet, Maria, Rooster, and Zayne are the first five that come to mind. Then again I think Keith is in dire need of expansion, because I forgot he was even around.
That's definitely the common the conclusion. There's a couple good characters that I regret neglecting for so long, Dan and Violet especially. Hopefully, I'll find a way to expand all of their stories. I already have a few ideas for some.
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why? It would be a sin not to put Jerry here. I like Jerry a lot because I think back to w… morehen I was actively trying to kill him with my votes, back when he was a douche, but now he's like my absolute favorite. He and Josie, both. They've both morphed the story into what it is at this point, and it's just great.
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why? Not to name names buuuuut Natalie. I can't get the baby thing out of my mind, and I also can't trust a woman who carries around a dead baby, and who also poses a threat to the community and the other characters.
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why? Who was that one creeper kid? Freddie Gomez? Yeah, him. I'm trying to keep a half-minded opinion on him because he's a kid, but just remembering his creeping on Josie makes it difficult to remain neutral.
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter? The entire … [view original content]
I've never actually seen The Day After Tomorrow myself, I might check my local library for it. As for the 100, I've watched up to the first few episodes of season three and have enjoyed it. Sadly, Hulu only keeps the five or so latest episodes, so I'm probably gonna have to wait until the full season is released on Netflix
You really should check out the Day After Tommorow. It's one if my all time favorites. That and the November man.
As for the 100, I can't quit watching it. I just live the show and the cast.
I haven't heard of most of these, but I'll try to look into them! I'm curious, though. I watched the film adaptation of Divergent and didn't really care for it, but would the book appeal to someone who didn't enjoy the movie
Most of those books are non-fiction. Just a heads up.
And I've never seen the divergent movie, so I wouldn't really know.
I don't know if it counts as apocalyptic, but one of my all time favorite movies is 'The Day After Tomorrow' and one of my favorite TV shows… more, though it's kind of post-apocalypse-ish, is The 100.
I've never actually seen The Day After Tomorrow myself, I might check my local library for it. As for the 100, I've watched up to the first few episodes of season three and have enjoyed it. Sadly, Hulu only keeps the five or so latest episodes, so I'm probably gonna have to wait until the full season is released on Netflix
The Hot Zone, A Day In the Life of Ivan Denisovich, The 5th wave, Divergent series...
I haven't heard of most of these, but I'll try to look into them! I'm curious, though. I watched the film adaptation of Divergent and didn't really care for it, but would the book appeal to someone who didn't enjoy the movie?
I was going to reply to your previous comment about this but got distracted, but Natalie isn't carrying a dead baby around. Wilson the Baby is actually a well-loved, well taken care of, happy (and living) baby.
Well at least she's not carrying a dead baby around, but she's still not trustworthy in my book.
Yep, Freddie Gomez. That's a plot point I desperately need to address. He and Jefferson both will be appearing again.
I really hope Freddie doesn't turn out to be worse because then I'm going to have to eat my words with shame.
I actually read that earlier this year. It was good. Very poetic. If I had to describe it in a few words... beautiful, but seriously, seriously messed up.
It's what another English class is reading, and I've been wanting to read, but never had the chance. Another one they're reading is No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy.
Not to name names buuuuut Natalie. I can't get the baby thing out of my mind, and I also can't trust a woman who carries around a dead baby,… more and who also poses a threat to the community and the other characters.
I was going to reply to your previous comment about this but got distracted, but Natalie isn't carrying a dead baby around. Wilson the Baby is actually a well-loved, well taken care of, happy (and living) baby.
Who was that one creeper kid? Freddie Gomez? Yeah, him. I'm trying to keep a half-minded opinion on him because he's a kid, but just remembering his creeping on Josie makes it difficult to remain neutral.
Yep, Freddie Gomez. That's a plot point I desperately need to address. He and Jefferson both will be appearing again.
The Road by Cormac McCarthy is pretty good, from what I've heard, but I haven't had the chance to read it myself.
I actually read that earlier this year. It was good. Very po… [view original content]
Well at least she's not carrying a dead baby around, but she's still not trustworthy in my book.
It's definitely best to be cautious when dealing with a possible vendetta.
I really hope Freddie doesn't turn out to be worse because then I'm going to have to eat my words with shame.
Odds are he's your typical post-apocalyptic 10-year-old. Of course, a year in the apocalypse (presumably without parents) can have a nasty effect on one's psyche.
It's what another English class is reading, and I've been wanting to read, but never had the chance. Another one they're reading is No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy.
If you're ever presented with the chance to read it, go for it. Just to warn you, it's pretty depressing at times, not to mention the lack of virtually any commas make it a pretty jarring read at first. I've been wanting to read a few of Cormac McCarthy's other books, No Country for Old Men being one of them.
I was going to reply to your previous comment about this but got distracted, but Natalie isn't carrying a dead baby around. Wilson the Baby … moreis actually a well-loved, well taken care of, happy (and living) baby.
Well at least she's not carrying a dead baby around, but she's still not trustworthy in my book.
Yep, Freddie Gomez. That's a plot point I desperately need to address. He and Jefferson both will be appearing again.
I really hope Freddie doesn't turn out to be worse because then I'm going to have to eat my words with shame.
I actually read that earlier this year. It was good. Very poetic. If I had to describe it in a few words... beautiful, but seriously, seriously messed up.
It's what another English class is reading, and I've been wanting to read, but never had the chance. Another one they're reading is No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy.
What are your current, favorite characters and why?
Jerry and Josephine and Atlanta are my favorite characters at the moment. They are cool and well-developed and I see them as the three most central characters. Many of the other characters are nice too but the three stand out for me.
What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
Natalie maybe? I dont trust her. She hasnt done anything bad but there is potential for her to become the next main antagonist. I try to keep an open mind for her but I really dont trust her.
What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
Imighthavebrokenit mentioned Freddy Gomez, the kid who spied on Josephine. I dont know why but I have a bad feeling that there is more to him and I hope I am wrong with this. Also the man Ashley saved because we know nothing about him.
What do you feel has worked this chapter?
The council meeting in the most recent part was my favorite part in the chapter. And I liked the return of Vincent. In the whole act I liked the focus on character development.
What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
I dont like to say nothing for an answer but I really cant think of anything that hasnt worked. It was a great way to start the story after the break.
What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
Really cant think of anything here. You are a great writer and I love every part of the story.
Where do you want the story to go?
I have no problem if the situation remains as relatively happy and stable as they are. I like the rebuilding aspect of the current act and would like to see the new community expanding.
Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
I am afraid things look a bit too bright at the moment. Only half of the story is told so I am sure that there will be a new big threat. Maybe the Laredo community will fall but I hope most of the characters make it out alive.
Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
I like the theory that he is actually the man Ashley saved and that this leads to the storylines being connected.
What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings?
Dont know why but I like the idea of an abandoned hospital or a mental asylum, this would be creepy.
What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see?
The military has been mentioned by the others and I like the idea. Laredo is at the border so there was a military presence once. I would like to find out if they are all dead or if some soldiers survived. Though instead of a typical bad guy military I would like to see a more complex approach.
What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.?
I love the Last of Us, my favorite video game.
What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored?
Maybe its just me but I feel Atlanta had less to do since the timeskip. I consider her a part of the main characters but out of them, she had the smallest role in this act. And of course I would like more things for Jefferson to do even if I am fine with him being only a supporting character. I totally understand that not every character can be major and one thing I like in Monument is that we have an core group whom we know really well and whom we are invested in and not a cast full of half-developed characters whom we all know a little bit but not enough to feel for them.
Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why?
Dogma and Sin are my favorites. They felt the most epic and intense. I liked the trouble with Zafir and it was the strongest in these two chapters. I feel like Sin was Jerrys strongest chapter and the way the conflict developed and ended was awesome. Then there was the conflict between Trevor and the group, particularly Josephine, which I found intense and Jordans death, which I saw as a fitting end for her character.
If you were writing this story, where would you take it?
I dont think I would have the guts to take the story to really dark places. At most, I would keep it at the level of the previous Acts that worked just fine for me. I would probably connect the storylines in Laredo and Colorado sooner or later, dont know if you have anything planned for that.
And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations!
The last series I read completely is the Witcher series by Andrzej Sapkowski and its are my clear recommendation. And I have to agree with Liquid, the Discworld novels are brilliant. I havent read all of them yet but I can only recommend them.
Given my absence, I would like to ask a couple of questions to hopefully get reoriented with the story faster. Normally I do these after a c… morehapter ends, but I'm going to make an exception this time. Since it's been so long since I last asked questions, this might be kind of extensive. Of course, you're free to skip over questions—just point out when you do and, if possible, say why!
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why?
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter?
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
7. Where do you want the story to go?
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
10. What are… [view original content]
Through blurred slits, the man stared the room’s other occupants. The vaguely human shapes dominated his limited field of vision and, at first, he had trouble hearing their conversation. However, his hearing returned before his sight, and he listened.
“C’mon, Jake.” The man recognized the soft yet strong tone of a young woman. “We should head home.”
The shapes divided, left his field of view. He didn’t risk trying to track them, didn’t know if he could. Instead, he focused his restricted sight on the two figures that remained. One of them seemed to let out a sigh.
“I understand why you’re tense, Danny,” said the other man, his old age evident in his voice. “But you don’t have to worry about your relationship with Maria.”
“I know,” Danny replied, obviously a younger man, with an edge of dismissal. “She and Asher are catching up. And I just…”
The weight on the man’s eyelids became unbearable, and they fell shut to relieve that weight for what he perceived to be a few moments. When they opened again, he felt sweat on all over his body and found the scene had changed dramatically, but his vision had become clearer. The little natural light there was before had been replaced by the blue-white glow of an electronic lanter.
The two men appeared to be gone, but there was a shape in the corner of his eye. The man twisted his neck, felt a stinging pain, like a burn, but he found the shape was an older man, likely the same from earlier. The old man slept sitting up in a chair.
The man stared, weighed his options. He didn’t know if he could even walk, let only defend himself. He was alive, though, the man realized quickly. Alive and well. He had been cared for. That spoke miles for the people's decency, he knew.
He studied the old man for a moment and found that focusing caused strain, made the weight return to his eyelids. But he saw some details that gave him more information. Firstly, the old man was on the light side, though he didn’t appear under fed. He looked to be sleeping deeply, and was definitely sleep deprived. Lastly, he saw the holster of a small pistol. The people who had taken him in were well-off, well armed, it seemed.
There weren’t any options, the man discerned. He was subject to the whims of his rescuers, however benevolent they may be. And his caretaker rested in the same room. He had to wake him.
The man attempted to speak, but what left his throat was more of a gruff, low grunt than a word. Soon, he said: “H-Hey--” He surprised himself with the weakness of his voice. He tried to move his hand, make some noise, but suddenly became aware of the constraints that bound him to the bed. He writhed against them in a moment of intense effort and his body was lit with stinging pain.
He fell back into his bed and grimaced as the pain faded. The man found the brief ation had exhausted him and the weight over his eyelids had returned. He breathed heavily. “Hey,” he repeated, wheezing. The electronic light began to fade. “Old man...”
It was half past six in the morning, and Maria walked through the long hallway of the infirmary. Her tennis shoes tapped the smooth floor. She carried a large paper bag in her right hand and moved with a positive air.
She stopped a step before the door and leaned, knocking on the wooden frame and softly calling out: “Danny, Calvin? Jake?”
Maria took a step inside, scanned the room before her eyes finally landed on the man constrained to his bed. She sat the bag on a desk adjacent the door, then walked to the bedside to check the IV bag as Calvin had taught her. It was full, replaced recently. She touched the man’s forehead with the back of her hand and smirked when she realized the fever had broken.
Maria retracted her hand and instantly met the open eyes of the man with her own, then stumbled a step backward into the medical equipment, causing it to sway and creating a racket. She straightened herself and caught her breath. “Shit.”
Maria once again became aware of the man’s appearance as they stared at each other. The pink, fleshy scars on his face from the sunburns. Dark brown eyes; dark brown hair. A mere moment had passed since Maria had cursed, and she stumbled over her words. “H-Hey... C-Can you hear me? C-Can you understand me?”
The man struggled to articulate his words, but managed to say, “Y-Yes.”
“I need to let the others know you’re awake. I’ll be right back, i-in just a minute.” Maria awkwardly pointed towards paper bag. “You’re probably starving. When I get back, we’ll have fishsticks, okay? Okay?”
The man nodded weakly, but Maria was already half out the door. She paused suddenly in the hallway and looked left, deeper into the infirmary, then right, towards the exit. Calvin was somewhere in the building. Josephine would presently be guarding Bridge One.
Okay, there are several reasons that speak for this. The first is that Calvin is in the same building. I'm not sure if it has been stated how far Bridge One is away from there, but in any way, Calvin is closer. Second, Calvin is the guy with medical knowledge. Josie apparently knows the basics, but I think in this situation it is better to get the guy who has medical knowledge and who is in the same building as opposed to the girl who has rudimentary knowledge and is at Bridge One doing guard duty. Also, aside from the objective benefits of getting Calvin, if there is anything fishy about Raftman, then I obviously want to keep him as far away from Josie as possible. I just hope that she doesn't get murdered in the meantime. Probably my paranoia is unfounded, but at the very least I'm almost sure that someone won't survive this chapter and Josie has several people who could potentially end up murdering her. I probably shouldn't give you any ideas
Awesome part, by the way! I wasn't expecting the Raftman to wake up that soon, though if he has anything to do with the chapter title (which I'm growing more paranoid about with every passing second), then it actually made kinda sense. I guess we'll get a name soon. One thing I know now is that he isn't Vincent. If I'm not mistaken, this part marked the first time we actually got a description of him and so I went back to the first time Vincent got introduced and realized that Vincent has light brown hair, while the Raftman has dark brown hair. It is also not Zayne, because Zayne had hazel eyes and he has also been described as a teen, while this guy is always described as a grown man. That probably means he is a new character entirely, which means there still is the possibility that he is a psychopath and a murderer and ends up killing someone. Or the title relates to Jerry, who is a murderer in the eyes of roughly 80% of the community. Or it relates someone else, like Freddie Gomez, who murders Josie at Bridge One at the very moment in a very gruesome way, because I make a wrong choice as a result of me being too scared to bring her close to the entirely innocent Raftman. Oh my god, why must this damn chapter have this damn name and fuel my damn paranoia? And why must it make me paranoid about being paranoid? Damn it!
Though at the very least this part confirmed something wonderful I've suspected for a while now:
“I understand why you’re tense, Danny,” said the other man, his old age evident in his voice. “But you don’t have to worry about your relationship Maria.”
They need a ship name now.
EDIT: After careful consideration, I decided to give in to my paranoia and worry for what happens if Josie stays alone in that guard tower, so I hereby change my vote to [Go to Bridge One for Josephine] I'm still very much nervous about this choice and hope I won't regret that
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 4)
Through blurred slits, the man stared the room’s other occupants. The vaguely human shapes dominated … morehis limited field of vision and, at first, he had trouble hearing their conversation. However, his hearing returned before his sight, and he listened.
“C’mon, Jake.” The man recognized the soft yet strong tone of a young woman. “We should head home.”
The shapes divided, left his field of view. He didn’t risk trying to track them, didn’t know if he could. Instead, he focused his restricted sight on the two figures that remained. One of them seemed to let out a sigh.
“I understand why you’re tense, Danny,” said the other man, his old age evident in his voice. “But you don’t have to worry about your relationship with Maria.”
“I know,” Danny replied, obviously a younger man, with an edge of dismissal. “She and Asher are catching up. And I just…”
The weight on the man’s eyelids became unbearable… [view original content]
This is tough, because she knows where Josie is, but she would have to do some searching for Calvin.
Change number two, let's see if I can stick with this one.
I'm going to say [Go to Bridge One for Josephine.]
I'm also probably going to regret it.
“I understand why you’re tense, Danny,” said the other man, his old age evident in his voice. “But you don’t have to worry about your relationship Maria.”
This time skip has brought plenty of enjoyable surprises. I'm intrigued on how Danny and Asher going to interact now.
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 4)
Through blurred slits, the man stared the room’s other occupants. The vaguely human shapes dominated … morehis limited field of vision and, at first, he had trouble hearing their conversation. However, his hearing returned before his sight, and he listened.
“C’mon, Jake.” The man recognized the soft yet strong tone of a young woman. “We should head home.”
The shapes divided, left his field of view. He didn’t risk trying to track them, didn’t know if he could. Instead, he focused his restricted sight on the two figures that remained. One of them seemed to let out a sigh.
“I understand why you’re tense, Danny,” said the other man, his old age evident in his voice. “But you don’t have to worry about your relationship with Maria.”
“I know,” Danny replied, obviously a younger man, with an edge of dismissal. “She and Asher are catching up. And I just…”
The weight on the man’s eyelids became unbearable… [view original content]
“I understand why you’re tense, Danny,” said the other man, his old age evident in his voice. “But you don’t have to worry about your relationship Maria.”
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 4)
Through blurred slits, the man stared the room’s other occupants. The vaguely human shapes dominated … morehis limited field of vision and, at first, he had trouble hearing their conversation. However, his hearing returned before his sight, and he listened.
“C’mon, Jake.” The man recognized the soft yet strong tone of a young woman. “We should head home.”
The shapes divided, left his field of view. He didn’t risk trying to track them, didn’t know if he could. Instead, he focused his restricted sight on the two figures that remained. One of them seemed to let out a sigh.
“I understand why you’re tense, Danny,” said the other man, his old age evident in his voice. “But you don’t have to worry about your relationship with Maria.”
“I know,” Danny replied, obviously a younger man, with an edge of dismissal. “She and Asher are catching up. And I just…”
The weight on the man’s eyelids became unbearable… [view original content]
I dont know if this is the better choice. Searching for Calvin sounds more logical but it almost sounds too easy for me. This makes me think that something has to be wrong here. I dont know if Josie is in danger if she stays at the bridge or if Maria gets in danger if she searches for Calvin but searching for Calbin sounds so easy for me that there has to be a trap. Dont make speculations like this Liquid, youre making me nervous too XD
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 4)
Through blurred slits, the man stared the room’s other occupants. The vaguely human shapes dominated … morehis limited field of vision and, at first, he had trouble hearing their conversation. However, his hearing returned before his sight, and he listened.
“C’mon, Jake.” The man recognized the soft yet strong tone of a young woman. “We should head home.”
The shapes divided, left his field of view. He didn’t risk trying to track them, didn’t know if he could. Instead, he focused his restricted sight on the two figures that remained. One of them seemed to let out a sigh.
“I understand why you’re tense, Danny,” said the other man, his old age evident in his voice. “But you don’t have to worry about your relationship with Maria.”
“I know,” Danny replied, obviously a younger man, with an edge of dismissal. “She and Asher are catching up. And I just…”
The weight on the man’s eyelids became unbearable… [view original content]
(!) Maria will run to Bridge One for Josephine's help
It seems a few people are paranoid... Be forewarned... I will exploit paranoia >:3 Annnywayyy, the next part in this chapter will hopefully be posted sometime today! The first draft is currently finished, but I'm possibly going to edit a few things. Until that time, have a good day!
Voting is closed!
(!) Maria will run to Bridge One for Josephine's help
It seems a few people are paranoid... Be forewarned... I will … moreexploit paranoia >:3 Annnywayyy, the next part in this chapter will hopefully be posted sometime today! The first draft is currently finished, but I'm possibly going to edit a few things. Until that time, have a good day!
Voting is closed!
(!) Maria will run to Bridge One for Josephine's help
It seems a few people are paranoid... Be forewarned... I will … moreexploit paranoia >:3 Annnywayyy, the next part in this chapter will hopefully be posted sometime today! The first draft is currently finished, but I'm possibly going to edit a few things. Until that time, have a good day!
Vincent walked up the slope. The chilly morning breeze bit him through his thick jacket and the dew-covered grass soaked his heavy boots. He paused at the crest of the hill, let his shoulders slump, and surveyed the rolling vista.
Grass stretched across the horizon for miles before ending at the base of mountains, interrupted only by trees, and a neglected road that divided it.
The weight on his body and his mind all seemed to culminate in that moment. He dropped his possessions and collapsed to the ground, to the dirt, physically and mentally exhausted. Time passed. He wondered about things incoherently—about the boy he’d lost, the men that laid dead in his wake, the distance of Jack’s grave. He wondered why he didn’t kill himself ten miles back.
Time passed. Vincent felt the unrelenting pain of hunger and the lack of strength to do anything about it. As he laid in the grass and the dirt, he wondered if he had the strength to pull the trigger. His wonderings faded into a dreamless sleep.
The starless night sky was visible when Vincent woke. The cold dampness of night didn’t register with his numb extremities. And though an inch of consciousness returned to him, he still thought unintelligibly of the past and what he imagined as the future.
Vincent barely heard the muffled pop—it sounded from somewhere in his vicinity. It spurred him further out of his stupor and he weakly tilted his head in the direction of the road, saw the movement of several figures in the grass through indistinct vision.
He watched as the figures dragged the large body of an animal onto the asphalt. As the minutes passed, he observed them make a fire in the middle of the road that shone like a beacon in the night and then skinned the creature, cooking the meat. Four dark shapes sat around the campsite and ate. Vincent felt the pain in his stomach return tenfold. He needed their food, needed to eat, or he’d die.
[Try to crawl to the camp for help while they are still present.]
[Wait until they leave and then crawl to the camp to eat the scraps.]
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 5)
Vincent walked up the slope. The chilly morning breeze bit him through his thick jacket and the dew-c… moreovered grass soaked his heavy boots. He paused at the crest of the hill, let his shoulders slump, and surveyed the rolling vista.
Grass stretched across the horizon for miles before ending at the base of mountains, interrupted only by trees, and a neglected road that divided it.
The weight on his body and his mind all seemed to culminate in that moment. He dropped his possessions and collapsed to the ground, to the dirt, physically and mentally exhausted. Time passed. He wondered about things incoherently—about the boy he’d lost, the men that laid dead in his wake, the distance of Jack’s grave. He wondered why he didn’t kill himself ten miles back.
Time passed. Vincent felt the unrelenting pain of hunger and the lack of strength to do anything about it. As he laid in the grass and the dirt, he wo… [view original content]
[Wait until they leave and then crawl to the camp to eat the scraps.]
We know absolutely nothing about these people, so I don't think Vincent should risk it. They might be alright, in which case waiting is a bad choice, but during these days it is far more likely that they are messed up in some sort of way. I don't want to risk it, even though Vincent's weak state makes me a bit afraid for him. The thing is, if he truly can't wait any longer he should go to the camp, but as long as he still has the option to wait, he should take the option, in the hopes that these people go away soon. I also realized another possibility for the chapter title. What if there is something relating to a murderer in Vincent's storyline? Perhaps these people are messed-up murderers. Or perhaps Vincent is going to encounter a murderer sooner or later. That is a possibility I haven't thought about too much so far, but it makes as much sense as the other options. Naturally, it still does not calm me down, but it is at least another option.
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 5)
Vincent walked up the slope. The chilly morning breeze bit him through his thick jacket and the dew-c… moreovered grass soaked his heavy boots. He paused at the crest of the hill, let his shoulders slump, and surveyed the rolling vista.
Grass stretched across the horizon for miles before ending at the base of mountains, interrupted only by trees, and a neglected road that divided it.
The weight on his body and his mind all seemed to culminate in that moment. He dropped his possessions and collapsed to the ground, to the dirt, physically and mentally exhausted. Time passed. He wondered about things incoherently—about the boy he’d lost, the men that laid dead in his wake, the distance of Jack’s grave. He wondered why he didn’t kill himself ten miles back.
Time passed. Vincent felt the unrelenting pain of hunger and the lack of strength to do anything about it. As he laid in the grass and the dirt, he wo… [view original content]
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 5)
Vincent walked up the slope. The chilly morning breeze bit him through his thick jacket and the dew-c… moreovered grass soaked his heavy boots. He paused at the crest of the hill, let his shoulders slump, and surveyed the rolling vista.
Grass stretched across the horizon for miles before ending at the base of mountains, interrupted only by trees, and a neglected road that divided it.
The weight on his body and his mind all seemed to culminate in that moment. He dropped his possessions and collapsed to the ground, to the dirt, physically and mentally exhausted. Time passed. He wondered about things incoherently—about the boy he’d lost, the men that laid dead in his wake, the distance of Jack’s grave. He wondered why he didn’t kill himself ten miles back.
Time passed. Vincent felt the unrelenting pain of hunger and the lack of strength to do anything about it. As he laid in the grass and the dirt, he wo… [view original content]
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 5)
Vincent walked up the slope. The chilly morning breeze bit him through his thick jacket and the dew-c… moreovered grass soaked his heavy boots. He paused at the crest of the hill, let his shoulders slump, and surveyed the rolling vista.
Grass stretched across the horizon for miles before ending at the base of mountains, interrupted only by trees, and a neglected road that divided it.
The weight on his body and his mind all seemed to culminate in that moment. He dropped his possessions and collapsed to the ground, to the dirt, physically and mentally exhausted. Time passed. He wondered about things incoherently—about the boy he’d lost, the men that laid dead in his wake, the distance of Jack’s grave. He wondered why he didn’t kill himself ten miles back.
Time passed. Vincent felt the unrelenting pain of hunger and the lack of strength to do anything about it. As he laid in the grass and the dirt, he wo… [view original content]
Comments
A Small Update:
I just wanted to say I'm working on the One-year Anniversary Special. Hopefully, the hiatus will end soon -- however, I don't want to give a precise date for when it will come out as I'm afraid I wouldn't make it. Bottom line, though, is that it's on its way. Also, I'm in good health and reading a ton (finished Halo: Contact Harvest and The Revenant late last month, reading Dune, and Resident Evil: The Umbrella Conspiracy on the side, currently. [And yes, I do have an unhealthy obsession with video game novels.]) Thank you for your patience, I'll see you again soon!
Thanks for keeping us updated Hope
Take your time, no stress, I simply know it's going to be amazing. After all, it's always jaw-droppingly amazing. I am extremely excited for the Anniversary Special and for more Monument in general of course.
Also, I don't think there is such a thing as an unhealthy obsession with video game novels
By the way, is Dune worth the read? I still got the novels in my bookshelf but never got around reading them.
Thanks for placing faith in me. I'll try to deliver!
If you have the time, I would say yes, give it a go. I'm currently at the half-way point and I'm enjoying it, but it is definitely not for everyone.
Well, great to hear you're better now. Can't wait for more Monument, obviously. It's one of the best here, and I absolutely love it.
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 2)
Vincent sat at the edge of the clearing, stared at the campsite in complete horror. The image that lay before him shook him to his core: four bodies sprawled on the ground, inch wide holes in them, laying in puddles of their own congealed, bug-infested blood.
It had taken him twenty seconds to kill them all . . . thirty seconds to reach to the clearing . . . twenty minutes to give up searching the woods for the silhouettes in the brush . . . thirty minutes to realize his mistake, horrified: No one else was ever there.
Time seemed irrelevant by the time he collapsed at the campsite. Night had turned into day, and he still remained. Questions popped up in his incoherent mind then faded before he could find an answer. It occurred to him, though, slowly, that no dead were close enough to hear his shots; he was alone for miles.
Vincent was forced to confront a terrifying reality: Zayne’s trail had long since gone cold.
A quick update: I've been working on a new, larger part with the Laredo community alongside this tiny piece. It's not in a publishable state, though, and will have to be refined a little. I might see if someone (in real life) is willing to give it a lookover and help fix any mistakes and improve upon the work. That'll probably see a release in the very near future. No news for the anniversary special, sadly—I'm still unsure of what to do with it. Anyway, I hope everything is going good for everybody. I'll see you all again soon enough!
As short as this part was, it already put me right in the hype train
I'm amazed to see this great story finally back and I'm excited for more of the Laredo crew. At the same time, I am very interested in how Vincent's storyline is going to continue, that seems to be heading towards something really awesome. Perhaps he is even that raft guy whom Ashley saved, whose identity is still a mystery for me.
Hey, it's great to see this back. I love this story and can't wait for more!
Awesome part! I am excited to see this story back
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 3)
Natalie passed through a pair of double doors and approached the coffee table at roughly the room’s center. She took a seat that faced the doors and sat straight. Natalie gazed at the twenty or so spectators spread around the room—triple the usual, she noted, but few regulars.
Several minutes passed. The double doors opened and Natalie’s composed stare met the eyes of her fellow council members: The lead builder, a man whose duties were overseeing construction and expansion, entered first; behind him came Danny, Jake’s typical stand-in; Josephine followed; and after another minute, the scout coordinator entered.
They seated themselves, the builder to Natalie’s left, Josephine and Danny to her right, separated from Natalie by an empty chair, and the scout coordinator across from her. Natalie considered the three empty seats, said: “We’ll begin without the others. I suspect they’re preoccupied.”
“We have an update on the rescued man’s condition,” Danny said with a tense, poorly hidden tone of disappointment.
“Yes, it’s gotten worse,” Josephine affirmed. Her lips formed a frown. “He was burning up with a fever of 104 all of a sudden. It seems one of the sun burns has gotten badly infected. Calvin has been tending to him with Jake’s assistance, but if it doesn’t pass quickly, he’ll need an antibiotic.”
“Antibiotics are in limited supply,” the scout coordinator cautioned.
The lead builder grunted. “Wasn’t he on it before his condition settled the first time? If he’s not getting better, we shouldn’t waste it on him.”
“Except he was improving,” Josephine asserted. “I want Calvin allowed the resources he needs.” She eyed the others, minus Danny. “Does it have to be put to a vote?”
Natalie addressed the lead builder: “Do you want to voice your opinion some more?” He glanced around the table, doubted he would win without the other, more likeminded council members present, and shook his head bitterly. Natalie turned toward Josephine and Danny. “Then tell Calvin we trust his judgment.”
The lead builder grunted once more but remained silent as a few sheets of paper were divided among them. The three extras were handed to one of the observers and passed around. On the first few pages was a report of all the damage caused by the storm . . . the locations of major breaches, all already repaired, and minor patches in need of reinforcement on a hand drawn map . . . the number of people hurt—luckily there were no major injuries . . . the damaged planters . . . the one known death and where his grave was plotted.
As Josephine read the last piece of information on the page, she felt sudden remorse. Natalie noticed it, mentally noted the expression—she knew the story and pitied the younger woman’s experience of being powerless to help.
The pages were discussed briefly. The lead builder announced that repairs were now underway for the minor structure damage and the search for anything missed continued. He also clarified, solemnly, that the dead man was buried.
The next few listed the three new arrivals of “Lindsay Burk,” “Keith Carter,” and “Sasha Levine,” and included the notes of an interviewer. It was obvious the interviews were a lot more specific than normal.
The scout coordinator scanned the papers, asked: “Did the extra scrutiny reveal anything important?”
“They aren’t dangerous, for one,” Natalie answered. Aware of the spectators, she added: “I would state my reputation on that.”
Natalie watched as the final few pages -- scavenger reports, inventories, and a detailed, worrying growth chart -- were read around the table. She and the scout coordinator saw the change of her council members’ expressions. Together, the papers said one thing: the community would not be able to sustain itself in several months.
The scout coordinator explained as much to the other council members as to the spectators in the room: “Scavenging for food has become steadily harder . . . our scavengers are forced to travel further and further for less and less. This location is no longer ideal.”
Josephine bit her bottom lip. “Is there a solution?”
Natalie gave a small nod, said: “We have an idea.”
“However,” the scout coordinator began, “they’re still just ideas.”
“However . . . it seems probable in conception.” Natalie retrieved a few more sets of papers, passed them around, once again handing the extras to one of the ‘civilians’ sitting in on the meeting to be shared. “We believe the obvious solution is to divide ourselves into more sustainable groups of fifteen or twenty people and keep a good but travelable distance between each other.”
“Smart,” Josephine mumbled.
Natalie studied her, then nodded again. “The second option would be to migrate the entire community to a better-suited location.”
Danny spoke up: “That wouldn’t work. Such a big group would attract a lot of attention. We’d be goddamned screwed if a herd happened on us.”
“Natalie and I came to the same conclusion,” the scout coordinator said.
“We’d just abandon Laredo, though? Our hard work, abandoned for a place without any security?” The lead builder leaned forward with a look of resentment. “Is there not a third fuckin’ option?”
“Not presently,” Natalie confirmed, then, to the crowd as much as him: “But we’re open for suggestions.”
“Natalie and I both agree,” the scout coordinator said, “that the first option is the only reasonable option. While there’s still the problem of scavenging…”
“--We believe we have a solution to that as well,” Natalie finished. “The two of us have coordinated scouts to search for five abandoned plots of farmland—ones with crops still, suitable for restoration and habitation. If we were to do this, take the farmland, make it defendable, livable . . . it would be a matter of weeding.”
The crowd dispersed through the double doors while Natalie and Josephine stood and watched. A few questions had been answered by Natalie and the scout coordinator, it seemed to have calmed the present worries of the crowd. A few moments passed, and Natalie and Josephine were alone.
Josephine glanced at Natalie from the corner of her eye, said: “I don’t appreciate being kept out of the loop . . . though, at least you’ve made a plan.”
“A plan,” Natalie repeated, slightly sour. “A plan is all it is right now. The scouts need to find viable land for this to get close to succeeding.” She faced Josephine and explained: “Since I’ve joined this community, we’ve seen exactly three hordes pass us by, at least, ten miles. . . they left trails in the fields, hundreds of feet wide, you could follow their trail for miles, stayed there for weeks . . . and the farms, the houses, the crops in their path? Essentially gone. Ruined. If there’s a threat we need to anticipate out there, it’s that.”
“So it’s not a perfect plan right now,” Josephine said. “If we can establish defenses, it’d be damn close.”
Natalie remained silent for a prolonged moment, contemplating, then said without apology: “You, the council, and the rest of the community will be kept up to date on this matter from now on.” She strode forward and stopped in the doorframe, then glanced back and said “Keep me updated on the injured man’s condition” before continuing out the door.
Josephine entered the infirmary and walked through its long hall on her way to the man’s room. A week ago, he was three-quarters dead with a death that seemed imminent. His persistence to live surprised everyone—herself included. Now, despite her hope it world turn out otherwise, it seemed he was on his way out.
As Josephine passed the room adjacent to her destination, she noticed a man fast asleep in the room. Without even slowing her pace, she knew it was Jake. The sleep deprivation had gotten the best of him. When she and Danny left, he was noticeably overworked, and they thought it best for Danny to sit-in.
Josephine entered the next room over and found Calvin tending to the man. Danny paced slowly at the far wall and looked up when she passed through the door’s threshold. There was a prolonged silence until Calvin finished what he was doing and acknowledged her entrance with a glance, and said: “Danny explained what happened at the meeting.”
Josephine nodded toward the man in the bed, asked: “Have you given him the antibiotic?”
Calvin chuckled. “I started him on an antibiotic before you left.”
Josephine mimicked a smile, but felt a pang of worry. She tried her best to conceal it, said “I salute you for putting your medical career on the line” and approached the side of the bed. Her expression unconsciously changed while looking at the sliver of exposed stars at the man’s neckline.
Calvin followed her eyes and frowned. “Danny and I will watch over him tonight,” he said, and then solemnly added, “The restraints will restrain him—they’re there, if need be.”
“Only a supervillain could escape those,” Danny chimed in lightheartedly as he entered the semicircle around the man. “And, seriously, what are the chances he’s a supervillain?”
“50/50.” The three turned to see Jake, the speaker, standing in the doorway. Though his voice dripped with pessimism in that moment, he smiled when his eyes met with Josephine’s.
“How do you come to that conclusion?” Calvin asked.
“50 percent chance he’s good . . . 50 percent chance he’s not . . . There is no splitting hairs there, no formula to that; it’s just how we should consider him until . . . it can be proved otherwise.”
“You’ll find no arguments here,” Calvin said quietly.
“C’mon, Jake,” Josephine said. “We should head home.”
Jake gave a small smile, said goodbye to Calvin and Danny, and followed Josephine through the door. She was a few paces ahead of him, but he caught up quickly. He said, “Danny debriefed me. Natalie’s plan sounds solid.”
Josephine said nothing for a few long moments, a frown upon her face. Finally, she whispered: “I think there’s an ulterior motive behind her plans.”
“What do suspect?” Jake asked, with a tone of slight disbelief.
“Natalie knows Jerry is among us,” Josephine explained. “I’m not sure how long she’s known. At least since Sasha, Lindsay, and Keith arrived. But she knows, and that knowledge is motivating her to take this course.”
“Her plan would benefit Jerry,” Jake pointed out.
“I know it doesn’t make sense.” Josephine paused in the hallway and shook her head while she scratched the back of her neck. “She had a son, didn’t she? He died in the fire, at the mall…”
“Josie,” Jake said, calmly, and looked her in the eye. “She had a son, yeah. And he died at the mall. But Natalie doesn’t know Jerry’s here. She wouldn’t sit on that information if she knew.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Josephine said finally. They walked out into the evening light and stood there for a moment. “But . . . be cautious around her . . . around everyone. We’ll get the word out to Jerry and Sasha that they need to lay low.”
Jake gave a nod, a smile of reassurance, and then they continued to Fairweather Hotel.
Chapter to be continued...
End Notes: Okay, I can't tell time for crap. I had no idea it'd been two weeks since I posted the little bitty part on the 22th of LAST MONTH.
I have to apologize for that. I was sort of planning to hold off posting this part until I could make some headway on the next, but, jeez, fifteen days! I'm gonna try to make sure to the next part is written way before that.
Oh yes, it's back
I'm happy, excited and extremely hyped to see the Laredo community back. These characters are among my favourites out of all the stories here and despite the break, I haven't lost any sort of investment into them. I don't know what sort of sorcery it is you're using, but I just had to read these names, Josie, Jerry, Jake, and I had a huge grin on my face. The part itself was amazing. It's nice to finally see the council that has been mentioned for so long, though I am curious, are the lead builder and scout coordinater submitted characters that just haven't been mentioned by name in this part, or are they non-user submitted characters you put into the story yourself? And I'm still curious who the missing council members are. Natalie starts to intrigue me. If she truly knows that Jerry is alive, she is a danger to him and to all the others who know and I wonder what her plan is. I especially wonder how Josie realized that Natalie knows about it. Also, the wounded man worries me, but not his condition, but the talk between Josie, Danny, Calvin and Jake. He's probably not a supervillain, but a regular villain would be bad enough. I hope they won't regret nursing him back to health, but I consider the worst. The chapter title still has me on the edge, though with the build-up you just put into Natalie, I also start to consider that the title could relate to Jerry, whom she would see as a murderer for the mall incident. Or perhaps it is both, a literal murderer in the form of Raftman and a perceived murderer in the form of Jerry. In any way, you have me excited and I can't wait for the next parts!
Given my absence, I would like to ask a couple of questions to hopefully get reoriented with the story faster. Normally I do these after a chapter ends, but I'm going to make an exception this time. Since it's been so long since I last asked questions, this might be kind of extensive. Of course, you're free to skip over questions—just point out when you do and, if possible, say why!
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why?
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter?
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
7. Where do you want the story to go?
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
10. What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings?
11. What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see?
12. What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.?
13. What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored?
14. Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why?
15. If you were writing this story, where would you take it?
16. And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations!
Firstly, I'm excited for your excitement! I myself can't wait until this current storyline begins in full, as this has all been mostly set up for it. Anyway...
The lead builder and scout coordinater are not unnamed submitted characters. I guess you could consider them placeholders if I ever decide to have their roles filled with submitted characters, though that is unlikely as they aren't significant characters. As for the unseen council members: I didn't name them as I want to leave myself some breathing room if I ever expanded upon it.
Josephine's suspicions will be explored at a later moment. It's going to be vague for the time being.
Right now, they have the wounded man snugly secured in bed. It would take serious skills to get out of the bindings they have him in. Then again, what are the odds he's a member of the circus? Hmm... the speculation... it empowers me...
The title does depict elements in this chapter. I will say its originally meaning has flip-flopped since planning, but it still has a clear... host. Though I have to say, I like your interpretation of it!
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why? Jerry, because it's he's Jerry motherfucking Stewart. The other people are fine "I guess".
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why? Natalie, trying to get Jerry, and Clarice, because fuck him.
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why? Sasha, she's iffy. Don't know what's she's gonna do.
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter? Exposition? Getting back into gear.
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter? Maybe it's a lack of action? I dunno.
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.? I guess flesh out the characters more, and use specific details on them to help paint a fuller picture. As for the story, is it really that cold in Texas during the winter?
7. Where do you want the story to go? Wherever the road takes it.
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality? I don't really know. Maybe internal dissent?
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going? No clue to be honest.
10. What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings? Alexandria, Virg- oh right, uh a lighthouse, mine, oil refinery. Las Vegas, New Orleans, Denver. Alaska, Wyoming, Michigan.
11. What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see? Canniba-. The "End is Near!". The Rapture. The Military.
12. What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.? The Walking Dead comics, the Walking Dead show, the Walking Dead game, I also liked Mad Max 2, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, a bunch of others. Does The Mist count?
13. What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored? Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Sasha, eh. Keith, Rooster, Maria, Violet.
14. Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why? I liked "Nine O'Clock Lab" because it was great.
15. If you were writing this story, where would you take it? I'd probably run it into the ground, no idea. Find another community?
16. And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations! All Quiet on the Western Front, To Kill A Mockingbird, A Tale of Two Cities, etc.
Hold the phone.
Last part it said Natalie had a baby, this part say her baby died in the fire. Does that mean that Natalie carrying a dead baby around?
Also, super happy that this is back
Now I can start failing classes again because I'm too busy thinking about stories to do my work!
What are your current, favorite characters and why? Jerry, gotta say, He's grown on me.
What are your current, least favorite characters and why? Gotta say I really don't like this guy that came in on the raft. Don't know why, we'll see.
What characters you do feel unsure of and why? Natalie. Her motives are shrouded in mystery, just as Josephine said.
What do you feel has worked this chapter? Definitely working to kick this back into high-gear. I can feel that this is being set up for something big. (?)
What do you feel has not worked this chapter? I don't know, stuff. Things.
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.? I honestly can't say much, I like that story a lot.
7. Where do you want the story to go? North by Northwest.
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality? I can feel an internal clan war. Maybe.
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going? Ummm... It's definitely going.
10. What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings? Me, personally, I'm always a fan of abandoned ships, crashed planes, random ghost towns, grain silos, churches, and skyscrapers. Weird combination.
11. What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see? End of the World Cults, and the religious nut jobs. Ex-Military bad-asses.
12. What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.? I don't know if it counts as apocalyptic, but one of my all time favorite movies is 'The Day After Tomorrow' and one of my favorite TV shows, though it's kind of post-apocalypse-ish, is The 100
13. What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored? Keith??
14. Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why? I don't know, but I always like Chapter 1. For some weird reason.
15. If you were writing this story, where would you take it? Don't ask me that question. I have a warped mind, and you do not want to know where it goes when i have control. But in all reality, I don't plan far enough ahead to think about where it's going. Most of the time the story just wrights itself for me.
16. And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations! The Hot Zone, A Day In the Life of Ivan Denisovich, The 5th wave, Divergent series...
Oh my, questions! You know exactly how much I love answering these, so thank you for asking
Oh man, answering these is going to take a while XD
What are your current, favorite characters and why?
Well, take a guess
Seriously though, I simply love the way you write Josie and nothing about that has changed during the break. She has become without a doubt my favourite character I ever submitted and her development, from the socially awkward loner she started as up until her starting to take charge in the more recent parts has been one of the most noticeable developments in the entire story in my opinion and I hope her development is far from over. I literally only had to read about her appearing in this part and my day was made and it is unlikely that this feeling is ever going to change, so yeah, favourite character for sure. Speaking about noticeable developments and favourite characters, Jerry absolutely deserves to get mentioned among my favourite characters as well. He is a likeable and ultimately sort-of heroic character, a far cry from the self-centered jerk he started as. Right now, it is bizarre for me to remember that I used to absolutely loathe that guy about a year ago and how much it took me to change my opinion on him, because now I have no problem with saying that I find him extremely amazing. I'd say, he and Josie are certainly my favourite characters. Jake probably deserves to get mentioned as well, he really stepped up big time starting with Chapter 8. Also, he saved Josie's ass pretty much all the time during the final half of Act 2, so that earned him a special place in my heart. And well, he and Josie are clearly so damn OTP-able that I root for them to continue being adorable together for a very long time, though I dread the heartbreak that comes when one of them dies or they otherwise break up. In the end, I also greatly like the other characters of the main cast, like Atlanta, Ashley, Danny, Maria and co., but these three deserve special mention. Also, for some odd reason I am very fond of the secondary character Kurt. He is not among my absolute favourite and definitely behind everyone from the main cast, but since I will never be able to forget the association I made between him and my favourite X-Man Nightcrawler, I still like him a lot.
What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
This is pretty hard for me, because currently I don't hate any of the living characters. Trevor is obviously still my least favourite of all time, though he is a little bit too dead to be the target of my hatred. My feelings for Zafir and Clarice, both of them dead as well, is complicated, so I can't say they are my least favourites either. Out of the living characters... eh, maybe the Raftman, though only because I have extremely strong suspicions against him. I reserve full judgement until we learned about his identity. If he's a good guy (for example Vincent or Zayne), then I obviously don't see him as my least favourite character. If he is an evil psycho/supervillain/circus artist, then the place of my least favourite character is reserved for him. Out of the named and alive characters... man, I don't know. I think the one I'm the least fond of is Violet, though even I have to admit that she never did anything that deserves my hatred, so it's less a case of me disliking her and more a case of me liking every other living character more than her.
What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
Natalie for sure. I am somewhat intrigued by her and at this point, it can go both ways with her. She can become a likeable and complicated character, especially because of her connection to Jerry, or she can become a complete nutjob, obsessed with vengeance and pulling off some sort of scheme that is dangerous for Jerry, Josie, Jake, Atlanta and all of the other characters whom I like so much. I'm hoping for the former and fearing for the latter, which is why I have no idea if I currently like her or not. Also, Sasha. I am surprised that I enjoy her character, but there is the thing that InGen always mentions beong worried about her. I trust InGen with knowing her better than I do, so that makes me worried as well. Only time will tell if these worries are correct, but it is enough to make me feel unsure about Sasha. And out of the dead characters, Zafir and Clarice have been complicated characters, whose development basically erased any true hatred I had for them. With Clarice, it took me until her final moments to be conflicted about her after she spent a majority of her time in the story as a clear villain, but her final action, which was utterly selfless and heroic and likely gave Josie time to fend off Trevor until Jake saved the day, has shaken me so deeply that I still feel completely unable to hate her for her earlier villainy. I'm just shocked about her. And Zafir came back and forth over and over again, one time I despised him more than I ever did with Jerry, then I felt conflicted about him, then he went back to being a hateable whoreson, then he started to change into a more heroic and likeable guy and finally, he ended up as a clear villain, albeit a tragic one. Both made a very memorable impression on me.
What do you feel has worked this chapter?
With this chapter you mean Chapter 13, Murderer, yes? Well, it was a perfect way to get things back on track. I liked the small update on Vincent's situation, since some of the previous chapters have concentrated on the utterly thrilling Laredo plot and while I ultimately prefer the Laredo group, that does not mean that I am not excited to get an update on the Colorado crew as well. Seriously though, after the long break I couldn't have thought of a better way to reintroduce the scenario.
What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
In this chapter in general, I don't feel like anything hasn't worked. The wait between the chapters wasn't ideal, though I understand that sometimes a break is just necessary. And since the quality of Monument is so ridiculously high that I can't even begin to truly praise its brilliance, I honestly don't mind this break too much. It was hard, but totally worth it.
What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
Ha, I don't know. I honestly don't know how you could improve in terms of story, character depictions and writing. Perfect is a strong word, but my dilettantish vocabulary is just not advanced enough to describe it with a different term. Schedule... maybe. As I said before, the wait has been long, but I think you shouldn't stick to a strict deadline when it comes to writing your parts, because that is guaranteed to limit anyones creativity and enthusiasm. And in times where the story isn't outright on a break, I feel like the schedule is fine the way it is. So nope, I am just not able to criticize your epic work here.
Where do you want the story to go?
Happiness, please! I feel so connected to the main cast, that I literally can't wish for anything else to happen. How about an ending in which Josie and Jake, Jerry and Sasha, Atlanta and Ashley, Danny and Maria, as well as Kurt the Nightcrawler because the image I have of him is so damn cool, are in a really safe place, perhaps on some remote island, where they live happily ever after. Josie gives birth to a healthy baby, Dan is fully adopted by Atlanta and Ashley, Jerry's condition improves and Nightcrawler develops awesome teleport superpowers and everything is fine and joyful.
Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
Not towards the wonderful scenario I painted above, I'm afraid. While I hope that not everything is going to become grimdark and depresseing and while I hope that at least some rays of happiness remain, I am afraid the current situation is guaranteed to get worse. I have huge suspicions about Raftman and wouldn't be surprised if he ends up escaping, causing the death of Calvin and perhaps even someone else. Also, Natalie and her connection to Jerry, as well as her plans are going to be explored. I wouldn't be too surprised if she ends up taking control over Laredo in some way, to enact some sort of revenge scheme against Jerry.
Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
There is Fox-Mask guy who is somewhere up there in Colorado and I think Vincent is going to encounter him. Depending on wether Fox-Mask guy is a creepy, but good guy, or a creepy and evil villain, this may end with Vincent teaming up with him to save Zayne, Vincent being killed, or Vincent being nailed to a raft and sent down the river to Laredo. I think, regardless of wether or not Vincent is the Raftman, we are going to learn about the identity of this guy in his storyline and about the reason for him being nailed to a raft. I also think Fox-Mask guy is going to be either a creepy and uneasy ally or the main villain of this storyline. Also, if Vincent or perhaps Zayne or the rooster are Raftman, then this could serve as a way to ultimately connect their storylines in the future.
What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings?
My knowledge about cities in the southern US is limited, so my answer is limited as well. I'd like to see more of San Antonia and perhaps Harvest Hills. In general, as dangerous as big cities are, they could make for intriguing settings. I was also always fond of vast, lush and slightly cold forest areas and if I'm not mistaken, there are some states where this is the general landscape. Correct me if I'm wrong, but these kind of locations are usually found in the northeastern US, right?#
What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see?
The military was mentioned by InGen and quality and I can only agree. Perhaps not necessarily the stereotypical evil military, but a more well-meaning military. Perhaps even attempts at forming a new government. I'd also be interested in learning about the fate of the old government. Another intriguing postapocalyptic theme is winter, because while the cold is nothing but a slight nuisance at best in our civilization, it can become threatening and dangerous in apocalyptic settings. One thing I'm actually less interested in are religious nutjobs, because they are always the same. Once you saw one of them, you saw all of them, as they are almost always these creepy, crazy and ultimately murderous bad guys, who are scary and shocking for a while, but quickly wear off for me.
What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.?
In terms of movies, it is Mad Max for sure. I recently bough Fury Road and I was genuinely moved at how perfect it is. I also like The 100 when it comes to TV shows and I am a big fan of Left 4 Dead 2, which I developed a worrying form of addiction to, and of course, the Fallout series. Fallout 4 is a wonderful game, but my personal favourite has always been New Vegas.
What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored?
The first that comes to mind is Violet. When thinking about my least favourite characters, I realized that she never did anything that left an impression on me. Lindsey as well, which is especially noticeable when I remembered that she is actually part of the original Harvest Hills crew. There is also Keith, though he has become one of my personal heroes when he saved Josie from Trevor's torture dungeon. I'm still interested in how he did this and in his reasons for doing so. As the son of Zafir, his relationship to his dad could have been interesting as well, or at least his reaction to learning about his father's death. So, Violet, Lindsay and Keith. Oh, and Nightcrawler Kurt as well, since I want to know if he is as awesome as my mental image of him. I hope he's not a secret villain and/or complete asshole.
Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why?
I think this goes either to A Man Gone or Dogma. While Monument has always been my favourite story on here, these two chapters have been the point where my jaw just constantly dropped and where some of the most shocking moments of the entire story happened, good things as well as bad things. It featured Trevor and the highly anticipated confrontation between him and the group, it featured the beginning of the Josie/Jake-ship which quickly started to sail, it featured a very intriguing development for Jerry motherfucking Stewardtit featured incredible character-development for Zafir and the highly memorable death of Clarice and finally, it brought many storylines to a satisfying end and did a great job in setting up the next act. Also, Nine O'Clock Lab, because I don't think I ever truly recovered from the overload of shock and joy that was the final part of it.
If you were writing this story, where would you take it?
See my answer for Question 7. I don't think I would be able to make things truly and horribly tragic and I would undoubtedly include a more-or-less happy ending, bittersweet, with emphasis on sweet. There would be hardships, loss and things would get really dark at times, but ultimately I don't think I'd ever take the story to truly depressing levels of grimdarkness and I'd always retain a small inch of hope in the end. So, I think I'd pretty much keep the story as it has been so far. However, I don't know where you have planned to take it, but chances are that it is going to be a lot darker than my own version of Monument would end up as. Though I don't have anything against dark stories in general, I just prefer to keep things above depressing in the very end, as I find myself almost unable to write such things.
And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations!
The one set of novels I always recommend when I'm asked this question is Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. Man, I could fanboy for hours about them
If you are even remotely interested in fantasy novels, if you want deeply philosophical and thought-provoking novels that make you laugh like never before, warm your heart like a box full of newborn puppies and make you cry like the victim of an onion-cutting ninja, all of it on the same page, then the Discworld novels, especially everything that comes after Book 3 is just the series of books you need. The author died last year, but in his life he wrote over 40 wonderful Discworld novels, who are always both, utterly funny and extremely thought-provoking. Reading them not only brightened my day, it also affected my philosophy like no work before, convinced me to follow my dreams, brought me to writing my own stuff and it literally restored my faith in humanity. I've been quite the cynic before I started reading these novels, but they turned me into a humanist at heart. Also, they are pretty damn funny, which is probably the most important thing I got from them.
Ohio sends it's regards.
1. What are your current, favorite characters and why? It would be a sin not to put Jerry here. I like Jerry a lot because I think back to when I was actively trying to kill him with my votes, back when he was a douche, but now he's like my absolute favorite. He and Josie, both. They've both morphed the story into what it is at this point, and it's just great.
2. What are your current, least favorite characters and why? Not to name names buuuuut Natalie. I can't get the baby thing out of my mind, and I also can't trust a woman who carries around a dead baby, and who also poses a threat to the community and the other characters.
3. What characters you do feel unsure of and why? Who was that one creeper kid? Freddie Gomez? Yeah, him. I'm trying to keep a half-minded opinion on him because he's a kid, but just remembering his creeping on Josie makes it difficult to remain neutral.
4. What do you feel has worked this chapter? The entire community idea in general has worked, in my opinion.
5. What do you feel has not worked this chapter? Does the break count as a legitimate answer? Aha, I kid, I kid. Everything's been great so far.
6. What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.? I really like what you've done so far, I don't really have any complaints.
7. Where do you want the story to go? You know, I really liked Liquid's remote island idea.
8. Where do you think the story is going in actuality? Suffering is one word I would use to describe it.
9. Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going? Definitely not to rainbows and sunshine
10. What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings? The first thing that came to mind was an airport, I'm not really sure why. Oh, and I've heard Nebraska's nice.
11. What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see? Yeah, the military would be cool, as everyone before me said.
12. What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.? The Road by Cormac McCarthy is pretty good, from what I've heard, but I haven't had the chance to read it myself
13. What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored? Dan, Violet, Maria, Rooster, and Zayne are the first five that come to mind. Then again I think Keith is in dire need of expansion, because I forgot he was even around.
14. Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why? I liked Dogma a lot because it really shined a light on the relationships between the characters.
15. If you were writing this story, where would you take it? Happiness pls.
16. And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations! I agree with InGen, To Kill A Mockingbird is pretty good
It never gets dangerously cold where I am, but it can definitely get you sick. January is also usually the coldest month and it can be pretty chilly well into February and March—bare in mind, these are Texan standards of cold.
I've never actually seen The Day After Tomorrow myself, I might check my local library for it. As for the 100, I've watched up to the first few episodes of season three and have enjoyed it. Sadly, Hulu only keeps the five or so latest episodes, so I'm probably gonna have to wait until the full season is released on Netflix
I haven't heard of most of these, but I'll try to look into them! I'm curious, though. I watched the film adaptation of Divergent and didn't really care for it, but would the book appeal to someone who didn't enjoy the movie?
I'm not familiar with the region, sadly. Though it seems Quality is.
I really need to get around to seeing Fury Road. I only recently watched the seconds and third Mad Max films. I need to catch up with season three of The 100. Left 4 Dead has been on my Wishlist for some time, I would love to play it eventually. And I'm very familiar with the Fallout series; the original Fallout is actually my favorite video game ever!
I'm pretty sure I agree with you completely on this subject. I'm incredibly apprehensive about taking the story to dark places and worried about making it too depressing. I have a few ideas for the story that would be hard to write if I chose to include them. Hopefully, through choice, they won't all be necessary.
Wow! They sound awesome! I took a look at them online and I've gone ahead and put the first book of the series in my to-read
I was going to reply to your previous comment about this but got distracted, but Natalie isn't carrying a dead baby around. Wilson the Baby is actually a well-loved, well taken care of, happy (and living) baby.
Yep, Freddie Gomez. That's a plot point I desperately need to address. He and Jefferson both will be appearing again.
I actually read that earlier this year. It was good. Very poetic. If I had to describe it in a few words... beautiful, but seriously, seriously messed up.
That's definitely the common the conclusion. There's a couple good characters that I regret neglecting for so long, Dan and Violet especially. Hopefully, I'll find a way to expand all of their stories. I already have a few ideas for some.
You really should check out the Day After Tommorow. It's one if my all time favorites. That and the November man.
As for the 100, I can't quit watching it. I just live the show and the cast.
Most of those books are non-fiction. Just a heads up.
And I've never seen the divergent movie, so I wouldn't really know.
Well at least she's not carrying a dead baby around, but she's still not trustworthy in my book.
I really hope Freddie doesn't turn out to be worse because then I'm going to have to eat my words with shame.
It's what another English class is reading, and I've been wanting to read, but never had the chance. Another one they're reading is No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy.
It's definitely best to be cautious when dealing with a possible vendetta.
Odds are he's your typical post-apocalyptic 10-year-old. Of course, a year in the apocalypse (presumably without parents) can have a nasty effect on one's psyche.
If you're ever presented with the chance to read it, go for it. Just to warn you, it's pretty depressing at times, not to mention the lack of virtually any commas make it a pretty jarring read at first. I've been wanting to read a few of Cormac McCarthy's other books, No Country for Old Men being one of them.
What are your current, favorite characters and why?
Jerry and Josephine and Atlanta are my favorite characters at the moment. They are cool and well-developed and I see them as the three most central characters. Many of the other characters are nice too but the three stand out for me.
What are your current, least favorite characters and why?
Natalie maybe? I dont trust her. She hasnt done anything bad but there is potential for her to become the next main antagonist. I try to keep an open mind for her but I really dont trust her.
What characters you do feel unsure of and why?
Imighthavebrokenit mentioned Freddy Gomez, the kid who spied on Josephine. I dont know why but I have a bad feeling that there is more to him and I hope I am wrong with this. Also the man Ashley saved because we know nothing about him.
What do you feel has worked this chapter?
The council meeting in the most recent part was my favorite part in the chapter. And I liked the return of Vincent. In the whole act I liked the focus on character development.
What do you feel has not worked this chapter?
I dont like to say nothing for an answer but I really cant think of anything that hasnt worked. It was a great way to start the story after the break.
What do you think could use improvement in terms of story, character depiction, writing, schedule, etc.?
Really cant think of anything here. You are a great writer and I love every part of the story.
Where do you want the story to go?
I have no problem if the situation remains as relatively happy and stable as they are. I like the rebuilding aspect of the current act and would like to see the new community expanding.
Where do you think the story is going in actuality?
I am afraid things look a bit too bright at the moment. Only half of the story is told so I am sure that there will be a new big threat. Maybe the Laredo community will fall but I hope most of the characters make it out alive.
Specifically, where do you think Vincent's storyline is going?
I like the theory that he is actually the man Ashley saved and that this leads to the storylines being connected.
What are some locations, towns, and even states that you think could make awesome and/or intriguing settings?
Dont know why but I like the idea of an abandoned hospital or a mental asylum, this would be creepy.
What are some apocalyptic themes I have neglected to explore and that you would like to see?
The military has been mentioned by the others and I like the idea. Laredo is at the border so there was a military presence once. I would like to find out if they are all dead or if some soldiers survived. Though instead of a typical bad guy military I would like to see a more complex approach.
What are your favorite post-apocalyptic books, movies, TV shows, games, etc.?
I love the Last of Us, my favorite video game.
What are some characters that you feel have been neglected and would like to see explored?
Maybe its just me but I feel Atlanta had less to do since the timeskip. I consider her a part of the main characters but out of them, she had the smallest role in this act. And of course I would like more things for Jefferson to do even if I am fine with him being only a supporting character. I totally understand that not every character can be major and one thing I like in Monument is that we have an core group whom we know really well and whom we are invested in and not a cast full of half-developed characters whom we all know a little bit but not enough to feel for them.
Out of the previous chapters, which was your favorite and why?
Dogma and Sin are my favorites. They felt the most epic and intense. I liked the trouble with Zafir and it was the strongest in these two chapters. I feel like Sin was Jerrys strongest chapter and the way the conflict developed and ended was awesome. Then there was the conflict between Trevor and the group, particularly Josephine, which I found intense and Jordans death, which I saw as a fitting end for her character.
If you were writing this story, where would you take it?
I dont think I would have the guts to take the story to really dark places. At most, I would keep it at the level of the previous Acts that worked just fine for me. I would probably connect the storylines in Laredo and Colorado sooner or later, dont know if you have anything planned for that.
And lastly, while this is largely unrelated to Monument, what are your favorite books in general? I'm not shy on reading material at the moment but I'm always looking for recommendations!
The last series I read completely is the Witcher series by Andrzej Sapkowski and its are my clear recommendation. And I have to agree with Liquid, the Discworld novels are brilliant. I havent read all of them yet but I can only recommend them.
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 4)
Through blurred slits, the man stared the room’s other occupants. The vaguely human shapes dominated his limited field of vision and, at first, he had trouble hearing their conversation. However, his hearing returned before his sight, and he listened.
“C’mon, Jake.” The man recognized the soft yet strong tone of a young woman. “We should head home.”
The shapes divided, left his field of view. He didn’t risk trying to track them, didn’t know if he could. Instead, he focused his restricted sight on the two figures that remained. One of them seemed to let out a sigh.
“I understand why you’re tense, Danny,” said the other man, his old age evident in his voice. “But you don’t have to worry about your relationship with Maria.”
“I know,” Danny replied, obviously a younger man, with an edge of dismissal. “She and Asher are catching up. And I just…”
The weight on the man’s eyelids became unbearable, and they fell shut to relieve that weight for what he perceived to be a few moments. When they opened again, he felt sweat on all over his body and found the scene had changed dramatically, but his vision had become clearer. The little natural light there was before had been replaced by the blue-white glow of an electronic lanter.
The two men appeared to be gone, but there was a shape in the corner of his eye. The man twisted his neck, felt a stinging pain, like a burn, but he found the shape was an older man, likely the same from earlier. The old man slept sitting up in a chair.
The man stared, weighed his options. He didn’t know if he could even walk, let only defend himself. He was alive, though, the man realized quickly. Alive and well. He had been cared for. That spoke miles for the people's decency, he knew.
He studied the old man for a moment and found that focusing caused strain, made the weight return to his eyelids. But he saw some details that gave him more information. Firstly, the old man was on the light side, though he didn’t appear under fed. He looked to be sleeping deeply, and was definitely sleep deprived. Lastly, he saw the holster of a small pistol. The people who had taken him in were well-off, well armed, it seemed.
There weren’t any options, the man discerned. He was subject to the whims of his rescuers, however benevolent they may be. And his caretaker rested in the same room. He had to wake him.
The man attempted to speak, but what left his throat was more of a gruff, low grunt than a word. Soon, he said: “H-Hey--” He surprised himself with the weakness of his voice. He tried to move his hand, make some noise, but suddenly became aware of the constraints that bound him to the bed. He writhed against them in a moment of intense effort and his body was lit with stinging pain.
He fell back into his bed and grimaced as the pain faded. The man found the brief ation had exhausted him and the weight over his eyelids had returned. He breathed heavily. “Hey,” he repeated, wheezing. The electronic light began to fade. “Old man...”
It was half past six in the morning, and Maria walked through the long hallway of the infirmary. Her tennis shoes tapped the smooth floor. She carried a large paper bag in her right hand and moved with a positive air.
She stopped a step before the door and leaned, knocking on the wooden frame and softly calling out: “Danny, Calvin? Jake?”
Maria took a step inside, scanned the room before her eyes finally landed on the man constrained to his bed. She sat the bag on a desk adjacent the door, then walked to the bedside to check the IV bag as Calvin had taught her. It was full, replaced recently. She touched the man’s forehead with the back of her hand and smirked when she realized the fever had broken.
Maria retracted her hand and instantly met the open eyes of the man with her own, then stumbled a step backward into the medical equipment, causing it to sway and creating a racket. She straightened herself and caught her breath. “Shit.”
Maria once again became aware of the man’s appearance as they stared at each other. The pink, fleshy scars on his face from the sunburns. Dark brown eyes; dark brown hair. A mere moment had passed since Maria had cursed, and she stumbled over her words. “H-Hey... C-Can you hear me? C-Can you understand me?”
The man struggled to articulate his words, but managed to say, “Y-Yes.”
“I need to let the others know you’re awake. I’ll be right back, i-in just a minute.” Maria awkwardly pointed towards paper bag. “You’re probably starving. When I get back, we’ll have fishsticks, okay? Okay?”
The man nodded weakly, but Maria was already half out the door. She paused suddenly in the hallway and looked left, deeper into the infirmary, then right, towards the exit. Calvin was somewhere in the building. Josephine would presently be guarding Bridge One.
[Go to Bridge One for Josephine.]
[Search the infirmary for Calvin.]
[Search the infirmary for Calvin.]
Okay, there are several reasons that speak for this. The first is that Calvin is in the same building. I'm not sure if it has been stated how far Bridge One is away from there, but in any way, Calvin is closer. Second, Calvin is the guy with medical knowledge. Josie apparently knows the basics, but I think in this situation it is better to get the guy who has medical knowledge and who is in the same building as opposed to the girl who has rudimentary knowledge and is at Bridge One doing guard duty. Also, aside from the objective benefits of getting Calvin, if there is anything fishy about Raftman, then I obviously want to keep him as far away from Josie as possible. I just hope that she doesn't get murdered in the meantime. Probably my paranoia is unfounded, but at the very least I'm almost sure that someone won't survive this chapter and Josie has several people who could potentially end up murdering her. I probably shouldn't give you any ideas
Awesome part, by the way! I wasn't expecting the Raftman to wake up that soon, though if he has anything to do with the chapter title (which I'm growing more paranoid about with every passing second), then it actually made kinda sense. I guess we'll get a name soon. One thing I know now is that he isn't Vincent. If I'm not mistaken, this part marked the first time we actually got a description of him and so I went back to the first time Vincent got introduced and realized that Vincent has light brown hair, while the Raftman has dark brown hair. It is also not Zayne, because Zayne had hazel eyes and he has also been described as a teen, while this guy is always described as a grown man. That probably means he is a new character entirely, which means there still is the possibility that he is a psychopath and a murderer and ends up killing someone. Or the title relates to Jerry, who is a murderer in the eyes of roughly 80% of the community. Or it relates someone else, like Freddie Gomez, who murders Josie at Bridge One at the very moment in a very gruesome way, because I make a wrong choice as a result of me being too scared to bring her close to the entirely innocent Raftman. Oh my god, why must this damn chapter have this damn name and fuel my damn paranoia? And why must it make me paranoid about being paranoid? Damn it!
Though at the very least this part confirmed something wonderful I've suspected for a while now:
They need a ship name now.
EDIT: After careful consideration, I decided to give in to my paranoia and worry for what happens if Josie stays alone in that guard tower, so I hereby change my vote to [Go to Bridge One for Josephine] I'm still very much nervous about this choice and hope I won't regret that
This is tough, because she knows where Josie is, but she would have to do some searching for Calvin.
Change number two, let's see if I can stick with this one.
I'm going to say [Go to Bridge One for Josephine.]
I'm also probably going to regret it.
This time skip has brought plenty of enjoyable surprises. I'm intrigued on how Danny and Asher going to interact now.
[Search the infirmary for Calvin.]
Hey, she said he was in the building. Right?
HeHe... Knew it.
[Search the infirmary for Calvin.]
[Go to Bridge One for Josephine.]
I dont know if this is the better choice. Searching for Calvin sounds more logical but it almost sounds too easy for me. This makes me think that something has to be wrong here. I dont know if Josie is in danger if she stays at the bridge or if Maria gets in danger if she searches for Calvin but searching for Calbin sounds so easy for me that there has to be a trap. Dont make speculations like this Liquid, youre making me nervous too XD
Voting is closed!
(!) Maria will run to Bridge One for Josephine's help
It seems a few people are paranoid... Be forewarned... I will exploit paranoia >:3 Annnywayyy, the next part in this chapter will hopefully be posted sometime today! The first draft is currently finished, but I'm possibly going to edit a few things. Until that time, have a good day!
Oh god, please have mercy, my cardiologist is on vacation
We made the right choice. We made the right choice. I'm going to say that over and over until I believe it.
Damnit I didn't see it and didn't get to vote for the Calvin
Chapter Thirteen: Murderer (Part 5)
Vincent walked up the slope. The chilly morning breeze bit him through his thick jacket and the dew-covered grass soaked his heavy boots. He paused at the crest of the hill, let his shoulders slump, and surveyed the rolling vista.
Grass stretched across the horizon for miles before ending at the base of mountains, interrupted only by trees, and a neglected road that divided it.
The weight on his body and his mind all seemed to culminate in that moment. He dropped his possessions and collapsed to the ground, to the dirt, physically and mentally exhausted. Time passed. He wondered about things incoherently—about the boy he’d lost, the men that laid dead in his wake, the distance of Jack’s grave. He wondered why he didn’t kill himself ten miles back.
Time passed. Vincent felt the unrelenting pain of hunger and the lack of strength to do anything about it. As he laid in the grass and the dirt, he wondered if he had the strength to pull the trigger. His wonderings faded into a dreamless sleep.
The starless night sky was visible when Vincent woke. The cold dampness of night didn’t register with his numb extremities. And though an inch of consciousness returned to him, he still thought unintelligibly of the past and what he imagined as the future.
Vincent barely heard the muffled pop—it sounded from somewhere in his vicinity. It spurred him further out of his stupor and he weakly tilted his head in the direction of the road, saw the movement of several figures in the grass through indistinct vision.
He watched as the figures dragged the large body of an animal onto the asphalt. As the minutes passed, he observed them make a fire in the middle of the road that shone like a beacon in the night and then skinned the creature, cooking the meat. Four dark shapes sat around the campsite and ate. Vincent felt the pain in his stomach return tenfold. He needed their food, needed to eat, or he’d die.
[Try to crawl to the camp for help while they are still present.]
[Wait until they leave and then crawl to the camp to eat the scraps.]
[Wait until they leave and then crawl to the camp to eat the scraps.]
Let's stalk them.
[Wait until they leave and then crawl to the camp to eat the scraps.]
We know absolutely nothing about these people, so I don't think Vincent should risk it. They might be alright, in which case waiting is a bad choice, but during these days it is far more likely that they are messed up in some sort of way. I don't want to risk it, even though Vincent's weak state makes me a bit afraid for him. The thing is, if he truly can't wait any longer he should go to the camp, but as long as he still has the option to wait, he should take the option, in the hopes that these people go away soon. I also realized another possibility for the chapter title. What if there is something relating to a murderer in Vincent's storyline? Perhaps these people are messed-up murderers. Or perhaps Vincent is going to encounter a murderer sooner or later. That is a possibility I haven't thought about too much so far, but it makes as much sense as the other options. Naturally, it still does not calm me down, but it is at least another option.
[Wait until they leave and then crawl to the camp to eat the scraps.]
Not taking any chances with those cannibals around
[Try to crawl to the camp for help while they are still present.]
Not everyone can be bad, right? Well, of course the people that believe that always die first or get someone else killed....