The Vent/Help Thread

1149150152154155166

Comments

  • Is it you feel like you only care about the warmth you feel when you're nice to people? I know how that feels. I think that feeling is just the start ofhow you grow into being a nice person. It becomes like a habit the more you do nice things for people. You still feel good for doing them but you begin to understand that kindness is a skill you need to practice. We're naturally inclined to think of ourselves over others for survival's sake. You're not a bad person for making mistakes just trying to be a caring person is progress towards that path.

    Is it you feel like you only care about the warmth you feel when you're nice to people? I know how that feels.

    Yeah I feel that I only be nice because it makes me feel good about myself. Like being nice to people does make me feel better about myself but I want it to be genuine and not fake or put on. I want to have a positive impact on people's lives no matter how big or small.

    Have you ever heard of something called the self fulfilling prophecy? It's a phenomenon in psychology. It's called that because what we tell ourselves about who we are can actually influence our behavior, which then causes other people to reaffirm how we feel about ourselves, so we kinda fulfill what we tell ourselves will happen.

    I am not really sure if I heard about it. I may have heard about it during the early stages of my counselling (sorry for continuously bringing it up). But yeah it does make a lot of sense to me. I will look more into it and maybe things may change for me.

    There's a difference between criticism and disrespect. You don't have to tolerate disrespect but like I said before kindness is a skill. Not everyone is capable of expressing their criticism reasonably. I'm not qualified to teach anger management but just remember that the people who criticize you aren't necessarily against you, they just don't condone how you're behaving.

    I understand what you are saying. I know I need to improve on it. I am not so bad when I am in school as I never really get angry there. It is more when I am at home, listening to my younger siblings. I wish I was better to my brothers. I am the eldest son so it is up to me to set a good example and teach them right and wrong. I worry that I am not a good role model.

    Remember the self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe yourself to be weak you possibly could internalize that and be less motivated to make those improvements. I'm not certified so I don't want to get to deep into it but I think looking into ways to break the prophecy cycle is a good place to start

    I will try to do that. I will look more into it and I will try to change up my way of thinking. Thank you so much for all of the help and information you have given to me. I really do appreciate it a great deal!

    Cocoa2736 posted: »

    I enjoy trying to be nice to people as I want to be remembered as someone who cared about others. Not everyone acknowledges it but putting a

  • Don't worry about looking stupid at concerts. I think the entire point of concerts is to go and look stupid. Likewise, at dances, even if you're really, really, really bad at dancing, as long as you look like you're having a great time, people won't judge you for that.

    I am not really the best at dancing. I cringe at myself when I dance or move in such a way :lol: But when I did go to discos I enjoyed talking to people. I haven't been to a concert yet... :disappointed:

    People actually judge you less than you think in general. That means you don't have to put a huge amount of effort into defending yourself, even when you know you're right and they're wrong. You see arguments all the time on TV, because it's interesting to watch, but it's usually counterproductive in real relationships.

    I have a fear of people. I am afraid that they will hurt me or that they judge me because I may not be as good as them. Being in large groups actually terrifies me. I went to my friends 18th Birthday Party a couple of weeks ago and I just sat and spoke to a couple of people. The idea of talking to new people scares me. I don't want to make a bad first impression.

    WarpSpeed posted: »

    Don't worry about looking stupid at concerts. I think the entire point of concerts is to go and look stupid. Likewise, at dances, even i

  • I found that helpful and reassuring. I appreciate you taking the time to share that with me. :)

    I don't wanna offend anyone on here, :sweat_smile: but that's the first time on the Vent/Help Thread where I felt like I was understood. I don't know if it's because I'm not great at expressing how I feel and the point gets lost or...

    Thank you.

    (I haven't had a lot of time lately to reply)

    Cocoa2736 posted: »

    I've always thought that I was an imaginative and creative person; I used to draw, write stories, create or play music, animate, voice act (

  • Uuuuuhhh... No... thanks... :D

    I have thought about it many times... but I don't feel that anything I've made is worth the effort of sharing. I mean, what's the point anyway?

    Having said that, I actually have posted an unsightly low-effort sketch that's hidden amongst the thread somewhere (if I haven't deleted it...), but it was more for a laugh than anything...

    WarpSpeed posted: »

    Would it help motivate you if you were able to show off your creative work to your fellow Telltale users? There's a thread for that! (As long as you've made at least 50 posts, which I know you have.)

  • I have a fear of people. I am afraid that they will hurt me or that they judge me because I may not be as good as them. Being in large groups actually terrifies me.

    My wife has this ability to walk up to complete strangers and engage them in conversation. I have no idea how she does it. :)

    What helps us mere mortals is a reason to talk to people. In high school, I also had a hard time approaching others in general. I was in Astronomy Club, though, and one of the things we did there was raise money for a trip to look through a giant telescope at an observatory. Raising money involved selling candy. I found that carrying a see-through bag of candy with a good excuse as to why I was doing so, some of the people that I thought unapproachable actually turned out to be friendly, even if they didn't buy any candy (though some did, of course, and we did raise enough for the trip).

    If you can find a reason to break the ice with someone, even if it's just to ask a question about their T-shirt or something, that helps your social experience. And if they reject you, oh well, write them off and find someone else. (I know, it's not that easy, but your own worry and self-doubt is worse than whatever they're going to do.)

    Don't worry about looking stupid at concerts. I think the entire point of concerts is to go and look stupid. Likewise, at dances, even if y

  • I don't wanna offend anyone on here, :sweat_smile: but that's the first time on the Vent/Help Thread where I felt like I was understood. I don't know if it's because I'm not great at expressing how I feel and the point gets lost or...

    No, you write well so I don't think that's the problem

    It's not really anyone's fault when people can't understand how you feel. You can't know if someone feels like you understand them until you give them your point of view. I know pretty much everyone who participates in this thread is trying their best to help. As long as they don't attack your character because of it I think it's best to cut them some slack, not everyone here is going to be good with empathy.

    I'm glad to know it helped you, and you're welcome :smile:

    I found that helpful and reassuring. I appreciate you taking the time to share that with me. I don't wanna offend anyone on here, but t

  • Oh, well I certainly do appreciate everyone who ever takes the time to read and/or reply to me on the Vent/Thread and I understand that everyone's trying their best with what they know and what they interpret.

    Perhaps my previous post was poor wording on my part. What I meant was that I found your approach to be the most helpful to me.

    Cocoa2736 posted: »

    I don't wanna offend anyone on here, but that's the first time on the Vent/Help Thread where I felt like I was understood. I don't know if

  • No, that was poor wording on my part. I wasn't trying to insinuate that you were unappreciative, just that practically no one here is a professional. Understanding each other's point of view is a part of the purpose of this thread but this isn't a community where people trained in empathy is the standard. I don't have a method in place for giving advice, I just say what I personally feel would help the most like anyone else.

    Still, I'm glad you found it helpful

    Oh, well I certainly do appreciate everyone who ever takes the time to read and/or reply to me on the Vent/Thread and I understand that ever

  • edited July 2018

    Hey has anyone here gone through their parent's divorce? I don't really want to vent about something very personal like that here so if you got the time I'd appreciate anyone who reaches out in PM, thank you :smile:

  • My parents got divorced when I was a kid. Half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, so we have a lot of company. The main thing is it's about your parents, not about you, and you'll make it through this.

    Cocoa2736 posted: »

    Hey has anyone here gone through their parent's divorce? I don't really want to vent about something very personal like that here so if you got the time I'd appreciate anyone who reaches out in PM, thank you

  • Thank you for replying, I'll be okay, it's not that I'm mad or necessarily anguished it's just a little difficult to adjust to now, but yeah I'll get through it don't worry :smile:

    WarpSpeed posted: »

    My parents got divorced when I was a kid. Half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, so we have a lot of company. The main thing is it's about your parents, not about you, and you'll make it through this.

  • Apologies for the late reply. Thanks again to you and @Cocoa2736 for the responses and advice that you both have given me :smile:

    My wife has this ability to walk up to complete strangers and engage them in conversation. I have no idea how she does it

    I wish I was like that. I dread walking up to new people as I tend to overanalyse their facial expressions, the tone in which they speak, eye contact and body language. I am basically programmed to just assume that they don't like me as I have felt like people don't like me for such a long time. I have no one else to blame except myself as I flip out and push people away out of fear.

    What helps us mere mortals is a reason to talk to people. In high school, I also had a hard time approaching others in general. I was in Astronomy Club, though, and one of the things we did there was raise money for a trip to look through a giant telescope at an observatory. Raising money involved selling candy. I found that carrying a see-through bag of candy with a good excuse as to why I was doing so, some of the people that I thought unapproachable actually turned out to be friendly, even if they didn't buy any candy (though some did, of course, and we did raise enough for the trip).

    I guess that is true. I much prefer if someone approached me as I would have to respond to what they are saying to me.

    On a one to one conversation I think I am alright as I don't feel pressured when compared to being in a group. I usually talk to someone about school and how is Irish or History class and if they do much school-work and so on.

    As for being in a group I feel that I need to try to fit in by making jokes and that sort of stuff. I do this with a group of people that I would consider my best friends so to sound funny and receive approval. But at the same time I can make my own decisions so I am not afraid to refrain from doing something that my friends are doing be it good, bad or funny.

    If you can find a reason to break the ice with someone, even if it's just to ask a question about their T-shirt or something, that helps your social experience. And if they reject you, oh well, write them off and find someone else. (I know, it's not that easy, but your own worry and self-doubt is worse than whatever they're going to do.)

    I think I am good when talking to one person I can talk about school, plans for the weekend and all of that. But when a group forms I struggle to come up with anything worth mentioning out of fear of being looked at as a weirdo or something.

    WarpSpeed posted: »

    I have a fear of people. I am afraid that they will hurt me or that they judge me because I may not be as good as them. Being in large group

  • I wish I was like that. I dread walking up to new people as I tend to overanalyse their facial expressions, the tone in which they speak, eye contact and body language. I am basically programmed to just assume that they don't like me as I have felt like people don't like me for such a long time. I have no one else to blame except myself as I flip out and push people away out of fear.

    I get the feeling from my experience with social anxiety and from reading other's experiences that these assumptions that people instinctively dislike you stems from familial experiences, specifically when parents and siblings heavily criticize you over minor mistakes or scapegoat and immediately grow hostile towards you when things go wrong. You gain the impression that this sort of behavior will extend to everyone you meet since your familial relationships play a huge part in how you base all social interaction. I don't know your family though so I might be wrong.

    I guess that is true. I much prefer if someone approached me as I would have to respond to what they are saying to me.

    On a one to one conversation I think I am alright as I don't feel pressured when compared to being in a group. I usually talk to someone about school and how is Irish or History class and if they do much school-work and so on.

    A conversation adapts to the mood of whoever's talking, so if you feel tense and overwhelmed people won't inherently attack you for it, but they will feel it. It's just human nature. Don't force yourself to initiate one if you feel you're not comfortable (if you can help it anyways.) Nothing wrong with taking it one step at a time.

    I think I am good when talking to one person I can talk about school, plans for the weekend and all of that. But when a group forms I struggle to come up with anything worth mentioning out of fear of being looked at as a weirdo or something

    As humans, we are extraordinarily perceptive of social cues, but that doesn't mean everyone is trying to find flaws in your character, and those that are, are unhealthy folk who cope with their own insecurities by digging into others. They are not worth fretting over.

    Apologies for the late reply. Thanks again to you and @Cocoa2736 for the responses and advice that you both have given me My wife has

  • I feel like I've finally cracked the code to existential nihilism.

    Science is a tumor that seeks to consume all magic and wonders in the world and translate it into the comprehensible. It's the light to the shadows of mystique. We always need it and we can never get enough of it, but darkness gains a certain power over reality when it meets our imagination, and it's hard to deny that fireworks have a stronger visual spectacle in the nighttime.

    I've made an effort to dissect the human condition and the existence of the universe at every opportunity, to step outside and view the world while suppressing all human sensations, and then I despair when the magic fades away. You can break down the system into the most basic elements that you can, but sooner or later you're going to find that on their own the smallest elements equates to nil. You found nothing mindblowing by breaking down the system, you've only developed a hunger that can never be satiated in this lifetime.

    I don't expect anyone to take insight from this, but thank you for reading if you did.

  • Hey guys!! Not sure if anyone noticed, but I was away for a couple months due to surgery I had, to removed my ileostomy bag I wore for a year. It put me in a very, very dark place mentally and physically, unfortunately no progress was made and the results were piss poor. However, I'm going to see this highly recommended gastroenterologist in Cleveland next month for my 100th second opinion. Wish me luck you guys! So happy to be back with my Telltale family, I missed you guys a bunch : )

  • As long as you can still eat pizza. Good luck!

    Hey guys!! Not sure if anyone noticed, but I was away for a couple months due to surgery I had, to removed my ileostomy bag I wore for a yea

  • Haha thanks man : ) I'll never stop!

    WarpSpeed posted: »

    As long as you can still eat pizza. Good luck!

  • Hey there! I want to say welcome back to the forums! Honestly I did notice that you were not active as you usually posted in some of the same discussions as me. I am really sorry that you felt like that, honestly. I wish you the best of luck with the gastroenterologist appointment. Hopefully it all turns out for the better

    Hey guys!! Not sure if anyone noticed, but I was away for a couple months due to surgery I had, to removed my ileostomy bag I wore for a yea

  • edited July 2018

    I had to use a colostomy bag because of a ruptured appendix a few years ago. It was overall very unpleasant and I was pretty miserable too (but the doctors were nice though)

    Wishing you the best of luck with your progress and welcome back! :smile:

    Hey guys!! Not sure if anyone noticed, but I was away for a couple months due to surgery I had, to removed my ileostomy bag I wore for a yea

  • Thanks for the kind words Dylan! it's always a pleasure to see you on here. I'll keep you guys updated down the road : )

    Hey there! I want to say welcome back to the forums! Honestly I did notice that you were not active as you usually posted in some of the sam

  • Whoa that's rough, it is pretty difficult getting accustomed and managing in the beginning. Glad it's over though, hopefully we can find some sort of relief in the near future. Thanks for the encouragement! Glad to be back with you guys : )

    Cocoa2736 posted: »

    I had to use a colostomy bag because of a ruptured appendix a few years ago. It was overall very unpleasant and I was pretty miserable too (but the doctors were nice though) Wishing you the best of luck with your progress and welcome back!

  • Yeah the best part was I came in to the hospital before my appendix burst and caused damage and the doctors couldn't tell what it was from the pain test. Apparently after I went back in for an emergency surgery they were shocked that it actually was a ruptured appendix because I barely reacted when they applied pressure to those areas. They said I must've had a very high pain tolerance.

    I didn't have to use the bag for more than a few months so I didn't need to get use to it for long, but I still wouldn't want to go through that ordeal again. It was one of the most physically uncomfortable experiences I've had, and not just because of the bag

    think having a tube pushed up your nose and going down your esophagus without being under anethesia, and then feeling it down there in the back of your throat, especially when you'd swallow, and that was only the first week or two lol

    I'm sorry I can't give much advice other than you will get progress into it eventually. Again I'm wishing the best of luck to you

    Whoa that's rough, it is pretty difficult getting accustomed and managing in the beginning. Glad it's over though, hopefully we can find some sort of relief in the near future. Thanks for the encouragement! Glad to be back with you guys : )

  • Jesus, you're strong. I tip my hat for you sir. I unfortunately had to have my bag for a year and a month. First month was hell to say the least, but I eerily got used to it. I put on weight, slept through the night, but the only downside was keeping it quiet when I passed a bm. After removing it, the first 2 weeks I was normal as if I still had it. The following week I was back at square one sadly. I became more of a hermit than I am now lol. Thanks again for the kind words though, I really appreciate it. I'll definitely keep you guys posted this time around : )

    Cocoa2736 posted: »

    Yeah the best part was I came in to the hospital before my appendix burst and caused damage and the doctors couldn't tell what it was from t

  • First month was hell to say the least, but I eerily got used to it. I put on weight, slept through the night, but the only downside was keeping it quiet when I passed a bm

    First month is definitely hell. Going out in public was stressful because I was concerned the bag would come loose. That and the all liquid diet was terribly unsatisfying, though thankfully it didn't last too long.

    The worst part of having it removed for me was all the surgical staples on my abdomen, which being one the most flexible parts of the body could cause some pain at times (especially when I sneezed)

    It's natural for changes like that (or of any kind if they were close enough to you) to cause depression. Depression can make you feel like you're back in square one but it's just an emotional phase; you're still adjusting to having it removed. Just like you were able to get use to having the bag I'm positive you'll get through this too, even if depression tries to tell you otherwise :smile:

    Jesus, you're strong. I tip my hat for you sir. I unfortunately had to have my bag for a year and a month. First month was hell to say the l

  • This is quite a dramatic and silly issue of mine but it has been bothering me over the last month so I thought I would release the tension on here. I have screenshots of the whole conversation but I am unable to share it as I don't want to give out their name and I don't know how to share images on the forums. But I can admit that I am at fault for what happened. But I think it is about time I get into it.

    I met this Telltale YouTuber on Xbox Live due to both of us being in the same club. I won't give out their name as despite being angry at them I don't want their reputation or YouTube channel or anything to take a hit. Anyways I recognised their name and figured that it was actually that same person so I decided to message them and share some support and thank them for producing the content that they produce.

    I started off the conversation saying hi and if they were the person behind the YouTube account with the same name. They then replied who is asking and then quickly followed up with yeah it is and it is always a pleasure to meet a fan. I said I was sorry if I was annoying them and that I really enjoy their Walking Dead videos to which they replied that I wasn't. That response made me quite happy which made me say thanks and I told them that I am looking forward to their playthrough of The Final Season. Anyways we had a pleasant conversation and then I left it for a couple of days.

    So the first trailer for The Walking Dead: The Final Season drops and I lose my shit. I shared it with multiple friends of mine who are interested in The Walking Dead around 15 minutes after the trailer was shared on the forums. I decided that I would share the link to the YouTuber as I thought it might be extremely late over at his location so seeing a link to the trailer when he woke up may make them extremely happy.

    Two days after the trailer drops I get a response from this YouTuber saying that they know all of this and that I don't have to remind them. I responded and said that I am sorry and that I got too excited and wanted to share it. I only wanted to help them. Then they reply and say that I shouldn't do it anymore. I genuinely felt terrible so I said I won't and said thanks for the chat. But then they reply and said mhm. I took it as a real snarky comment and said I don't know what else to say I only wanted to share it with them and I didn't mean to come across as annoying. They then respond and say that it is alright but I should assume that they know everything because they know everything. I started to get a bit annoyed with how they spoke so I said alright that is fine but there is nothing wrong with having a helping hand and I wished them luck which annoyed them as they said that they don't need luck as they know everything.
    I was like what the hell so I said look I didn't mean it in a bad way I meant it genuinely that I wish them the best of luck with their YouTube channel and in the future. I then went on to apologise if my messages annoyed them or as they may have interpreted them as aggressive (Which they weren't but I thought they were because of how they responded to my messages) and went on to say that I wanted to receive some credit for sharing the information with them. And by credit I meant like thank you or something not like a shoutout or anything. That response annoyed them as they then reply and say that they are never doing that and told me to stop acting like a child and being clingy. I then said sorry and said I wasn't acting like that and sent him a party invite so we could talk and settle the whole thing. I got no response.

    I want to say that I am not completely innocent for this whole thing as I caused it by messaging them. It is my fault it escalated to the point it got to. I was extremely annoyed but I do see where I went wrong.

  • Wow what a complete a-hole. I don't think you were being annoying at all, you were just reaching out as any normal person would when they're excited. I've done the same. This kind of thing pisses me off, don't venture off into YouTube if you have a bi-polar attitude problem. My guess is that person doesn't know how to or never dealt with attention before.

    This is quite a dramatic and silly issue of mine but it has been bothering me over the last month so I thought I would release the tension o

  • Completely unrelated to anything you just wrote, but why do I get the feeling you look exactly like Tom Holland?

    Anyways, just learn from it, and keep moving forward. He's beneath you.

    This is quite a dramatic and silly issue of mine but it has been bothering me over the last month so I thought I would release the tension o

  • Thank you for the response. I think they may have had this sort of thing happen before which could have been way worse but all I done was simply send them information in a way to help them. They then proceed to acknowledge and reply to me 2 days after I sent the info. In between those two days they made around 1 or 2 videos (I think) but they definitely would have seen the message before they actually responded so it definitely seemed like I was blanked.

    Wow what a complete a-hole. I don't think you were being annoying at all, you were just reaching out as any normal person would when they're

  • Yeah screw him, if that's how you treat your fans, you shouldn't have any at all. You weren't in the wrong. You might've actually assisted his videos! lol

    Thank you for the response. I think they may have had this sort of thing happen before which could have been way worse but all I done was si

  • Hahaha thanks I suppose :smiley: but I am not as angry as I was back then. It hurt me but at least I know what type of person he was and how he behaves

    Dex-Starr posted: »

    Completely unrelated to anything you just wrote, but why do I get the feeling you look exactly like Tom Holland? Anyways, just learn from it, and keep moving forward. He's beneath you.

  • Some people just don't like being bothered by strangers, regardless of how famous they are (I'm assuming he has a fair amount of subscribers.) He could definitely learn some skills in how to communicate with fans but as your conversation shows sometimes people and stress management skills aren't always necessary in finding a way to get on that pedestal, and being on it doesn't automatically make them better people. He was just in a bad mood and, while you didn't mean to drive him over the edge, he just wasn't in the right mindset to calmly handle that request. Very few people are immune to feeling irritable. Sometimes conversations just go bad, and we can only note why and move on.

    I'm sorry that happened to you though, I know you only had good intentions

    This is quite a dramatic and silly issue of mine but it has been bothering me over the last month so I thought I would release the tension o

  • You are right. They have around 3,000 subscribers on YouTube. Not major levels like PewDiePie or anything but still they worked hard to get to that milestone. I do think I pushed it a bit far as he could have been dealing with some stuff in real life and seeing someone message him that he doesn't know could have annoyed him or something.

    Cocoa2736 posted: »

    Some people just don't like being bothered by strangers, regardless of how famous they are (I'm assuming he has a fair amount of subscribers

  • I do think I pushed it a bit far as he could have been dealing with some stuff in real life and seeing someone message him that he doesn't know could have annoyed him or something.

    You can never really know if they don't want to be bothered until you try to approach them, and hindsight is 20/20, so don't feel like you need to beat yourself up over it. Best thing to do is take note of whenever someone seems cold and doesn't want to be approached, or, if he is like this all the time, when someone should be considered not worth your time. It's a learning process, and you're not a rude person for making mistakes if you are aware that you act wrong sometimes.

    You are right. They have around 3,000 subscribers on YouTube. Not major levels like PewDiePie or anything but still they worked hard to get

  • " Religious rant, don't mean to give any zealous assertions or to attack anyone's personal beliefs, just felt like giving my personal experience. "

    It's funny how a system meant to guide those struggling with their existence towards oneness with their spirituality and a deeper connection with their maker can ironically cause the deepest anguish and confusion you will ever feel, towards yourself, your place in this world and your relationship with your creator, especially when the teachings are being relayed by someone who is far from reaching it's ideals themself.

    As I grow older I realize that my resentment towards that system wasn't because of the plan itself, though there are reasonable objections to it out there, but rather that I had no idea where my part in that plan was suppose to be. The more I was taught the more detached I felt from it. I never felt like I fit into that puzzle, but that couldn't be; everyone is suppose to fit into that puzzle. There was either something wrong with me or something wrong with the system, and you should never be convinced that your very being is wrong by anyone. That didn't stop those I cared about from trying anyways.

    The worst part is that if you're brought into it young and through family it never leaves you no matter how far you run from it. It's intertwined with your upbringing, and every now and again that creeping feel comes up and reminds you that you're wrong in the eyes of some of those you grew up with and looked up to, because you couldn't find truth in their words no matter how hard you tried.

    If I offended you somehow I'm sorry. If you believe that it's true and beneficial to your life then that's great and I have no problem with that :smile:

  • To anyone who wanted to post here, but was too apprehensive towards the idea of leaving themself open like that, I understand how you feel. Opening up to friends and family can be difficult enough as it is, let alone to people on the internet you barely know. You know better than anyone who is mentally fit to listen to what's troubling you, and if you don't know anyone that is that's reasonable too. We don't shut ourselves off from those willing to listen for no reason.

    You're not hopeless if you feel there's no one in your life who will understand you either. The first step to overcoming a problem is identifying what the problem is, so you're already on the right path even if you feel like there's nowhere else to go. You're never at a dead end when that happens, you just need a second opinion to shine light on a new path, which is what places like these are for. You'll never be at a shortage of fresh outlooks if you know where to look.

    And if anyone disagrees with your outlook to the point that they judge your character, shut down what you have to say without any consideration, or otherwise makes you feel attacked in an environment where you're encouraged to leave yourself vulnerable, they failed you, not the other way around, and you have every right to disregard all of what they had to say if you did not feel respected. If they could read you well enough to understand what your best interests would be then they would know how to approach you in a way that would make you receptive to what they had to say. Even when you feel like you're at rock bottom, you still have the right to reject anyone's advice if it doesn't sit right with you.

    If you feel like this place would be ideal in letting you vent about what goes on in your everyday life I hope you can find the courage to post here. I can't guarantee the members on this forum would be able to help but I'm positive we'd do our best, but it's up to you to decide if we proved ourselves mature enough to give good advice. If the thought of posting here makes you too uncomfortable though that's completely understandable. I hope you find someone in your personal life or somewhere else that would be able to give a listening ear :smile:

  • @Cocoa2736 you should be the moderator for this thread, you make this beautiful community alive and give so much support for people. The first time you posted here you edited your comment due to fear what other people would think and now you're the most active here.

  • Honestly I wouldn't have posted here at all if you guys weren't such awesome people who actually took the thread seriously. This thread could only live up to it's purpose through your guys' sense of compassion and earnestness, and the fact that this thread does work as well as it does shows a lot about the collective character of this community. You all really impressed me with the support shown here, and I would never have even thought of posting here if the regulars didn't show so much sincere interest in sympathizing and helping each other out :smile:

    MegaXD posted: »

    @Cocoa2736 you should be the moderator for this thread, you make this beautiful community alive and give so much support for people. The fir

  • edited July 2018

    There's a woman at work that I've known for about 2 and half years and she's just amazing. I have feelings for her and I have for a long while. Problem is, she's married and a mom. She's also 7 years older than me.

    Back in 2016 when I first started at my job, I fell completely head over heels for her. Being younger, I handled the situation pretty poorly and no doubt made her uncomfortable. (Mainly just remarks here and there, I never crossed any boundaries physically) I always had the best intentions but was too immature to execute them properly. I ended up getting let go in August of 2016 due to reasons not involving her.

    I loved that job a lot so I was persistent at trying to get rehired. Well, this past March I finally succeeded and she was still there. I went back to my job with the mindset that it had been 2 years. I was more mature, and I had moved on from her. I wouldn't fall back into the same situation I got myself into last time. And I told her that. She knew the first time around, everybody did. I suck at being discreet apparently. She appreciated my honesty and intentions as I told her I appreciated her letting what was in the past stay in the past.

    It took maybe a month for me to fall back in love with her.

    And this time was worse than the last. It's been 2 years and I've learned how to control my emotions on the outside, so I've been respectful, haven't crossed any boundaries, and to my knowledge she doesn't know. I believe we have a much better working relationship than 2 years ago. But on the inside, my feelings for her are so much stronger than they ever were.

    Well today, something terrible at work happened. My job is at a humane society and I came in this morning to find a dog had passed away in her sleep overnight.

    After the dog had been dealt with, she came and hugged me, telling me she was in a better place. This was my first time witnessing something like this, and she's always tried sheltering me from seeing really bad stuff. I felt really good there for about 20 seconds. Then my heart pretty much shattered because the next thing that happened was her showing me her resignation and telling me when her last day was.

    I'll shamelessly admit that I bawled my eyes out. Adding her leaving onto the already horrible morning I had just broke me down.

    I know she's married and I know my chances with her are next to nothing, but my heart fell back in love with her so hard and the thought of never seeing her again is killing me.

  • Attraction isn't a switch you can turn off the moment you see the ring. You understood that there were boundaries you could not cross and you made the effort to mature and respect them, so you acted in the best way you possibly could in my eyes.

    I'm sorry you fell for her when she was already married. Sometimes love deals us a bad hand, and not always because the ones we love aren't worth it either. She already completed the dating game and moved on to the next phase of her life. If your advances did manage to get through they would've only harmed the health of the family she already has. You understood and respected that, so you handled it better than most in my book, and just because your love for her has to be strictly platonic doesn't make it any less valuable. She still cared about you enough to console you over the dog's passing, and even if you're not her husband you're still allowed to grieve her leaving because that is how you truly feel. As long as you respect the value of her family, you're not wrong for feeling the way you are.

    And hey, there are tons of single girls out there. They won't replace the feelings you have for her exactly, but I'm certain you'll find one that makes you just as happy to be around them as she did.

    Though I'm sorry you had to go through all of that and a bad morning at once. All I can say is this low point will pass soon enough, even if it doesn't feel like it now.

    BroKenny posted: »

    There's a woman at work that I've known for about 2 and half years and she's just amazing. I have feelings for her and I have for a long whi

Sign in to comment in this discussion.