Actually, I'm the type of guy who's completely terrible at conversations in real life. I always get this awkward silence from almost everyon… moree I speak to.
Example:
Me: Hey, ever seen the Mavs game yesterday?
Friend: No.
Me:...
Friend:...
Me:...So...you done with homework?
Friend: Yeah, it was okay.
Me: Oh ok...
Friend:...
Me:...
I've never been diagnosed, but I have issues with socializing, too. I get very anxious, short-breathed, and even panicky when I have to comm… moreunicate with strangers, (especially through phone calls) and I find it extremely difficult to make eye contact or initiate conversations. I also get very intimidated by large crowds or personal confrontations. Recently, in the past 5 months, I've begun to stutter and clam up a lot while speaking. I usually end up feeling awful after talking to strangers or being at parties, and I often isolate myself afterwards to 'recover'. It takes a long while of being alone to shake off that feeling.
The awkwardness of it all only makes my anxiety worse. I try really hard to hide this and make the impression that I don't have any problems with socializing, but sometimes I feel my behavior comes off as heavily forced. I'm not good with small talk, it doesn't interest me. When I drop the facade and just act 'myself… [view original content]
I used to be incredibly close with my brother we were the best of friends.
Well now he's gone
I'm really comfortable around family… more and friends but around strangers especially huge groups I usually feel awkward and always do something to embaress myself.
Me and my brother had alot in common We loved the hell out of Telltale's games and Breaking Bad but now that he's gone I feel like no one else gets me.
I try to talk to people IRL and I either feel like I'm talking to morons or brick walls. So the last couple of months I've been kinda depressed and now I'm on the forums. I like it here alot finally I have awesome people to talk to about awesome things!
The thing that sucks though is whenever I'm not on the forums I start to slip back into depression. I don't like being around people much I think it was after I was sorely disappointed...
So one of my close friends I always had a crush on her. I felt that we were g… [view original content]
I used to be incredibly close with my brother we were the best of friends.
Well now he's gone
I'm really comfortable around family… more and friends but around strangers especially huge groups I usually feel awkward and always do something to embaress myself.
Me and my brother had alot in common We loved the hell out of Telltale's games and Breaking Bad but now that he's gone I feel like no one else gets me.
I try to talk to people IRL and I either feel like I'm talking to morons or brick walls. So the last couple of months I've been kinda depressed and now I'm on the forums. I like it here alot finally I have awesome people to talk to about awesome things!
The thing that sucks though is whenever I'm not on the forums I start to slip back into depression. I don't like being around people much I think it was after I was sorely disappointed...
So one of my close friends I always had a crush on her. I felt that we were g… [view original content]
I guess I have some bad social issues. I barely talk at all. When spoken to I respond, but with a short answer(usually one-five words) like … more"Yes, No, Maybe, Okay," and stuff like that. Biggest thing though is when I talk to girls, or adults things go bad. I want to make eye contact, so I do. But when I do my eyes start watering and it feels/looks like I'm crying.Then I start getting really hot especially in my forehead. My palms are usually sweating in my pockets, and if I have the chance, I back away slowly. I don't make conversation, and if someone starts one with me it lasts around a minute, and if I'm lucky then around 5 minutes. I usually just loner out and whenever around a bunch of people and try to isolate myself.
Inside I really want to just break out, and talk to people and stuff. But I'm afraid I'll screw up as always. I never know what to say, and I basically feel like I'm just taking up space. Half of me says to get out th… [view original content]
Yeah me too. This new girl tried to talk to me and said "Do you talk?" After a minute she walked away probably thinking I was mute :/
Usually when I do talk I say dumb stuff that make no sense because I can't think straight. Hopefully everyone here can achieve over their social issues!
I can only make you believe in the ways... if you want to believe in the ways.
Heheh.
The sort I do, called 'mindfulness' - bear with me - is basically just focusing in on something specific for an extended period of time. So it could be breathing; a sensation in your feet; pain; or music. The idea is to focus on, say, what you can feel, without mental comment and to just experience it without thinking 'that's cold', for example. All this practise focusing in turn helps when under a stressful situation, where loads of thoughts might be back and forth about how something might be wrong or of how you're making a fool of yourself, because you can just pick a sort of anchor, your feet perhaps, to focus on and detach yourself from the thoughts. Then you can get back to whatever it was your were doing, hopefully with a clearer mind.
National health services use it and universities keep doing research into it.
Anyway, I hope that does come across as too "far out, man", if you know what I mean.
Sadly, I have yet to learn levitation through it :(
:P
So... you're saying that I need to ignore all mental thoughts while feeling something with my feet, or my hands even? And just focus on that in the process? Hopefully I got that correct, Sensei Noir. :)
I can only make you believe in the ways... if you want to believe in the ways.
Heheh.
The sort I do, called 'mindfulness' - bear with m… moree - is basically just focusing in on something specific for an extended period of time. So it could be breathing; a sensation in your feet; pain; or music. The idea is to focus on, say, what you can feel, without mental comment and to just experience it without thinking 'that's cold', for example. All this practise focusing in turn helps when under a stressful situation, where loads of thoughts might be back and forth about how something might be wrong or of how you're making a fool of yourself, because you can just pick a sort of anchor, your feet perhaps, to focus on and detach yourself from the thoughts. Then you can get back to whatever it was your were doing, hopefully with a clearer mind.
National health services use it and universities keep doing research into it.
Anyway, I hope that does come… [view original content]
In essence, yeah. I should have mentioned that thoughts will still come - though not many - whilst you're focusing on something else and the key is to also acknowledge them as just a simple thought, and then refocus.
All this is kind of ironic as I'm now worried I've told it you wrong or something hahah
There's probably a wiki on it or something. I have no idea why I tried to describe this succinctly on a forum.
However on the bright side, All should now address me as Sensei Noir ^_^
So... you're saying that I need to ignore all mental thoughts while feeling something with my feet, or my hands even? And just focus on that in the process? Hopefully I got that correct, Sensei Noir. :)
In essence, yeah. I should have mentioned that thoughts will still come - though not many - whilst you're focusing on something else and the… more key is to also acknowledge them as just a simple thought, and then refocus.
All this is kind of ironic as I'm now worried I've told it you wrong or something hahah
There's probably a wiki on it or something. I have no idea why I tried to describe this succinctly on a forum.
However on the bright side, All should now address me as Sensei Noir ^_^
Acolyte Butter - the only butter for True Believers.
Sorry :P
20 minutes seems to be the recommended amount of time to do it for, though I think some is better than none. 20 minutes can occasionally seem like a looong time.
Anyway, Sensei Noir hopes you achieve enlightenment.
Or tingly feet.
Either will do.
I just searched it up. I think I get it now, Sensei Noir. XD
Acolyte Butter is enlightened.
Maybe I shall start practicing this evening in my bedroom, a place where all is calm, mostly. :P
Acolyte Butter - the only butter for True Believers.
Sorry :P
20 minutes seems to be the recommended amount of time to do it for, though… more I think some is better than none. 20 minutes can occasionally seem like a looong time.
Anyway, Sensei Noir hopes you achieve enlightenment.
Or tingly feet.
Either will do.
I used to be like this for a long time as well. I couldn't make eye contact with strangers, let alone cute girls. You know what I did to overcome this? I looked at everyone as skeletons. I know it's a bit creepy, but it worked for me. I am now very comfortable around people :)
I used to be like this for a long time as well. I couldn't make eye contact with strangers, let alone cute girls. You know what I did to ove… morercome this? I looked at everyone as skeletons. I know it's a bit creepy, but it worked for me. I am now very comfortable around people :)
I used to be like this for a long time as well. I couldn't make eye contact with strangers, let alone cute girls. You know what I did to ove… morercome this? I looked at everyone as skeletons. I know it's a bit creepy, but it worked for me. I am now very comfortable around people :)
I don't have much in the way of social grace, but I've managed to pick up enough tricks to get by. I've found that I can sort-of fake being a normal person for brief periods of time by imitating the mannerisms of various people I've met who seemed to be more on the ball when it came to that sort of thing. That probably makes me sound a little bit like a sociopath, but it's worked alright for me so far. I'm still introverted as hell though and the concept of making any sort of romantic inquiry is still baffling to me. How the fuck does anybody do that?
Due to the fact that I've walked around with ASD without knowing it until 2012 when I got diagnosed at the age of 27, I had developed a soci… moreal anxiety disorder during my teen years, as well as a chronic depression. After getting the diagnosis, it has been getting less, and I'm guessing it's going to be less since I'm going to follow a program to lessen the social issues I'm having. My depression though is a different thing, even though I don't have the typical depression symptoms now, because it's chronic I will never get rid of it, I can only manage it so that the symptoms won't return. But meh, so far it's going great, and as long as I don't forget how it feels like being depressed chances are slim I'm falling back.
EDIT: Also, I do have some irrational fears, like snakes, spiders, insects, other creepy crawlies, dark alleys (not because of muggers, ghosts or zombies, but because I associate dark alleys with filth), grass, ghosts, zomb… [view original content]
"I'm still introverted as hell though and the concept of making any sort of romantic inquiry is still baffling to me. How the fuck does anybody do that?"
I don't have much in the way of social grace, but I've managed to pick up enough tricks to get by. I've found that I can sort-of fake being … morea normal person for brief periods of time by imitating the mannerisms of various people I've met who seemed to be more on the ball when it came to that sort of thing. That probably makes me sound a little bit like a sociopath, but it's worked alright for me so far. I'm still introverted as hell though and the concept of making any sort of romantic inquiry is still baffling to me. How the fuck does anybody do that?
I wanted to say, is I'm really loving the positivity and empathy present in this topic. Really makes me feel good with all the honesty that's going around in here. I hope it is doing the same for you guys.
Just out of curiosity, how old are you? I struggled with similar issues for a long time, but I have improved leaps and bounds as I have gotten older. I still have issues, but I have gained far greater control.
Yeah me too. This new girl tried to talk to me and said "Do you talk?" After a minute she walked away probably thinking I was mute :/
U… moresually when I do talk I say dumb stuff that make no sense because I can't think straight. Hopefully everyone here can achieve over their social issues!
This is why this is the best forum I have ever been a part of (not that I have been a part of all that many). I don't know that I have ever been among such an empathic/understanding/accepting group of people.
I wanted to say, is I'm really loving the positivity and empathy present in this topic. Really makes me feel good with all the honesty that's going around in here. I hope it is doing the same for you guys.
This is why this is the best forum I have ever been a part of (not that I have been a part of all that many). I don't know that I have ever been among such an empathic/understanding/accepting group of people.
Just out of curiosity, how old are you? I struggled with similar issues for a long time, but I have improved leaps and bounds as I have gotten older. I still have issues, but I have gained far greater control.
I have this feeling like nobody understands me because of my social anxiety (in real-life), but reading the comments of other people in this thread makes me realize that are a lot of people who feel and think the same way I do. Don't know why, but knowing that there are many people like me is slightly comforting.
I have this feeling like nobody understands me because of my social anxiety (in real-life), but reading the comments of other people in this… more thread makes me realize that are a lot of people who feel and think the same way I do. Don't know why, but knowing that there are many people like me is slightly comforting.
I can definitely relate. I've never had any success with the 'get a girl's phone number at the bar' kind of courtship. The progress of friend --> romantic partner makes more sense than stranger --> romantic partner.
Unfortunately, I'm at Slowbro levels of oblivious when it comes to girls, so that doesn't help. :/
"I'm still introverted as hell though and the concept of making any sort of romantic inquiry is still baffling to me. How the fuck does anybody do that?"
No idea man, I wish I knew as well.
I know man, these "chick-magnets" always gets the girls first. But yeah, I'd rather find "the true one" through friendship, rather than the "one night-stand" method and the same as you I'm that oblivious socially (and romantically XD)
I can definitely relate. I've never had any success with the 'get a girl's phone number at the bar' kind of courtship. The progress of fri… moreend --> romantic partner makes more sense than stranger --> romantic partner.
Unfortunately, I'm at Slowbro levels of oblivious when it comes to girls, so that doesn't help. :/
Comments
I usually say something stupid or lock up and then I look like a moron....
Usually when I do talk I say dumb stuff that make no sense because I can't think straight. Hopefully everyone here can achieve over their social issues!
Heheh.
The sort I do, called 'mindfulness' - bear with me - is basically just focusing in on something specific for an extended period of time. So it could be breathing; a sensation in your feet; pain; or music. The idea is to focus on, say, what you can feel, without mental comment and to just experience it without thinking 'that's cold', for example. All this practise focusing in turn helps when under a stressful situation, where loads of thoughts might be back and forth about how something might be wrong or of how you're making a fool of yourself, because you can just pick a sort of anchor, your feet perhaps, to focus on and detach yourself from the thoughts. Then you can get back to whatever it was your were doing, hopefully with a clearer mind.
National health services use it and universities keep doing research into it.
Anyway, I hope that does come across as too "far out, man", if you know what I mean.
Sadly, I have yet to learn levitation through it :(
:P
All this is kind of ironic as I'm now worried I've told it you wrong or something hahah
There's probably a wiki on it or something. I have no idea why I tried to describe this succinctly on a forum.
However on the bright side, All should now address me as Sensei Noir ^_^
Acolyte Butter is enlightened.
Maybe I shall start practicing this evening in my bedroom, a place where all is calm, mostly. :P
Sorry :P
20 minutes seems to be the recommended amount of time to do it for, though I think some is better than none. 20 minutes can occasionally seem like a looong time.
Anyway, Sensei Noir hopes you achieve enlightenment.
Or tingly feet.
Either will do.
I am the Butter.
In which others cannot believe I am not.
:)
Seriously, though - it's not butter? Get out! :P
No idea man, I wish I knew as well.
How old were you when you had these issues?
Unfortunately, I'm at Slowbro levels of oblivious when it comes to girls, so that doesn't help. :/