Okay, sorry for the lack of any new parts. I simply haven't gotten started on it yet, though I will be very soon. Sadly today I'm little too busy to start working on and part and finish it, same can said about tomorrow. But know that there will be a opening for this new chapter soon, though once again I can't be too sure when it'll come out.
Another thing I wanted to mention was the scene from the first chapter, it was pretty out-of-place in all, but there's some meaning to it. If you want to give it another look...Here.
The skies above San Antonio were grey and cloudy. The football field was bathed in the grey light. The grass was overgrown and the whole placed was seemingly vacant. The chain link fence on the far right of the football field had a road leading right up to it, upon the road drove a car, serving and heading straight for the fence. The police car slammed into the chain link fence and drove out the other side. The police car continued to serve and speed forward, tearing up the long grass and dirt, making it fly into the air. The police was suddenly stopped by directly hitting the large metal pole that was the goal. The car’s front had a v shaped dent in about a foot and the engine sent smoke into the air. On the inside the airbags had gone off and two people rest on them, the officer in the driver’s seat breathed in and out slowly while the officer in the passenger’s seat had it’s eyes wide open, that were cloudy white. Slow, a young man in the back seat raised his head to look at what lay before him, blood dripping down from his broken nose. He looked at the officer in the driver’s seat, then the one in the passenger’s seat. The officer in the passenger’s seat twitched.
Now, despite what you might think, this is actually something that will come up in the story. Though there's no telling when. But I'll tell you a little something...More points-of-view are coming soon, not just the main group either, but new groups and character alike!
I want to keep chapter 5 somewhat straight forward so there's only going to be P.O.Ws from certain characters that you would probably expect. But once Episode two begins, that's when you will be introduced to more view points.
Lastly, I know I said I'd reveal new chapter titles with each new part for chapter 5, but now I'll still be doing that, but also revealing them whenever I feel like it. So, what I want to ask you is; what do the titles mean to you? Pick one that stands out or all of them, I'd just like to know what meaning behind them YOU gave them.
"Small Town" means that most of the characters gets together because this is a small town or something like that or most of the people die before this one
Okay, sorry for the lack of any new parts. I simply haven't gotten started on it yet, though I will be very soon. Sadly today I'm little too… more busy to start working on and part and finish it, same can said about tomorrow. But know that there will be a opening for this new chapter soon, though once again I can't be too sure when it'll come out.
Another thing I wanted to mention was the scene from the first chapter, it was pretty out-of-place in all, but there's some meaning to it. If you want to give it another look...Here.
The skies above San Antonio were grey and cloudy. The football field was bathed in the grey light. The grass was overgrown and the whole placed was seemingly vacant. The chain link fence on the far right of the football field had a road leading right up to it, upon the road drove a car, serving and heading straight for the fence. The police car slammed into the chain link fence and drove out the other side. The polic… [view original content]
Cool!
"Marching Band" seems like a war to me.
"In Kingdom Come" sound religious for me (?)
"Small Town" means that most of the char… moreacters gets together because this is a small town or something like that or most of the people die before this one
"Deny The End" is for someone dying.
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Opening.
Jerry Stewart.
Jerry’s expression seemed boiled with anger at the man who lay dead before him. Someone who didn’t deserve mercy, pity, nor any form of comfort. The sun was sitting behind the far off landscape as the water filled the pickup truck sitting on the lake, then the second asshole set in the truck’s driver’s seat with their brains blown over the windshield. The blood of the man who had tried to rape the missing Josie, then planned to try again, he hung Christian off the overpass after he disrespected a man who deserved none. The man’s blood mixed in with the sand and made it red, redder then the sunset.
Christian laid on the sandy beach with his mouth wide open, speechless, staring up at the sky. Slowly, he managed to mutter a sentence, “If they find out that we killed them...We’re dead.”
Letting out a sigh, Jerry turned his attention to the young man. “C’mon.” He grabbed hold on the man’s upper arm and pulled him to his feet as he walked him close to the road. Christian quickly shook his arm out of his grip. “What are we going to say?” He demanded in a shocked tone, it shined through as he stood still staring at the man who killed two others.
“We are going to lie and say they were killed by the junkie or walkers…” Jerry answered, coldly turning away from Christian. “But we have a bigger plan to make. We’re gonna bust out of their little mall with all our people…Find our missing people, along with anyone else who’s looking to leave.” He finished and began walking forward, towards the highway once again.
Christian shot a look back at the truck that rested in the lake, the two awful, messed up, people he had helped kill. He probably felt more guilty of murder then Jerry. He shook off his thoughts as he chased after Jerry, quickly catching up again. They were about to leave the small sandy beach behind them, but then a sound echoed through Jerry’s and Christian’s ears as they turned to face the noise.
The drug addict faced them from the truck with the bag of meth in one hand and the other covering the wound on his shoulder. Jerry still held the revolver in his hand and gripped it tightly as they watched the man, and he watched them, all in complete silence.
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Opening.
Jerry Stewart.
Jerry’s expression seemed boiled with anger at … morethe man who lay dead before him. Someone who didn’t deserve mercy, pity, nor any form of comfort. The sun was sitting behind the far off landscape as the water filled the pickup truck sitting on the lake, then the second asshole set in the truck’s driver’s seat with their brains blown over the windshield. The blood of the man who had tried to rape the missing Josie, then planned to try again, he hung Christian off the overpass after he disrespected a man who deserved none. The man’s blood mixed in with the sand and made it red, redder then the sunset.
Christian laid on the sandy beach with his mouth wide open, speechless, staring up at the sky. Slowly, he managed to mutter a sentence, “If they find out that we killed them...We’re dead.”
Letting out a sigh, Jerry turned his attention to the young man… [view original content]
It has a very clear meaning, one I can't reveal because of...Reasons.
But it'll make complete sense once the time comes! ^-^
All of them will...hehehe >:3
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Opening.
Jerry Stewart.
Jerry’s expression seemed boiled with anger at … morethe man who lay dead before him. Someone who didn’t deserve mercy, pity, nor any form of comfort. The sun was sitting behind the far off landscape as the water filled the pickup truck sitting on the lake, then the second asshole set in the truck’s driver’s seat with their brains blown over the windshield. The blood of the man who had tried to rape the missing Josie, then planned to try again, he hung Christian off the overpass after he disrespected a man who deserved none. The man’s blood mixed in with the sand and made it red, redder then the sunset.
Christian laid on the sandy beach with his mouth wide open, speechless, staring up at the sky. Slowly, he managed to mutter a sentence, “If they find out that we killed them...We’re dead.”
Letting out a sigh, Jerry turned his attention to the young man… [view original content]
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Opening.
Jerry Stewart.
Jerry’s expression seemed boiled with anger at … morethe man who lay dead before him. Someone who didn’t deserve mercy, pity, nor any form of comfort. The sun was sitting behind the far off landscape as the water filled the pickup truck sitting on the lake, then the second asshole set in the truck’s driver’s seat with their brains blown over the windshield. The blood of the man who had tried to rape the missing Josie, then planned to try again, he hung Christian off the overpass after he disrespected a man who deserved none. The man’s blood mixed in with the sand and made it red, redder then the sunset.
Christian laid on the sandy beach with his mouth wide open, speechless, staring up at the sky. Slowly, he managed to mutter a sentence, “If they find out that we killed them...We’re dead.”
Letting out a sigh, Jerry turned his attention to the young man… [view original content]
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Opening.
Jerry Stewart.
Jerry’s expression seemed boiled with anger at … morethe man who lay dead before him. Someone who didn’t deserve mercy, pity, nor any form of comfort. The sun was sitting behind the far off landscape as the water filled the pickup truck sitting on the lake, then the second asshole set in the truck’s driver’s seat with their brains blown over the windshield. The blood of the man who had tried to rape the missing Josie, then planned to try again, he hung Christian off the overpass after he disrespected a man who deserved none. The man’s blood mixed in with the sand and made it red, redder then the sunset.
Christian laid on the sandy beach with his mouth wide open, speechless, staring up at the sky. Slowly, he managed to mutter a sentence, “If they find out that we killed them...We’re dead.”
Letting out a sigh, Jerry turned his attention to the young man… [view original content]
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Opening.
Jerry Stewart.
Jerry’s expression seemed boiled with anger at … morethe man who lay dead before him. Someone who didn’t deserve mercy, pity, nor any form of comfort. The sun was sitting behind the far off landscape as the water filled the pickup truck sitting on the lake, then the second asshole set in the truck’s driver’s seat with their brains blown over the windshield. The blood of the man who had tried to rape the missing Josie, then planned to try again, he hung Christian off the overpass after he disrespected a man who deserved none. The man’s blood mixed in with the sand and made it red, redder then the sunset.
Christian laid on the sandy beach with his mouth wide open, speechless, staring up at the sky. Slowly, he managed to mutter a sentence, “If they find out that we killed them...We’re dead.”
Letting out a sigh, Jerry turned his attention to the young man… [view original content]
Of course, this could also influence Christian's opinion about Jerry. However the drug addict tried to kill him first and seems to be a genuinely terrible person, so good riddance! After all, Christian has his own reasons to help as well and I don't think he will turn on Jerry simply for shooting a potentially dangerous asshole.
Finally, shooting him will help covering their lie up. He is also involved with Zafir's group and in my opinion, everyone involved with these guys deserves a truly horrible death or worse, at least everyone except Christian and maybe the person who prevented the rape.
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Opening.
Jerry Stewart.
Jerry’s expression seemed boiled with anger at … morethe man who lay dead before him. Someone who didn’t deserve mercy, pity, nor any form of comfort. The sun was sitting behind the far off landscape as the water filled the pickup truck sitting on the lake, then the second asshole set in the truck’s driver’s seat with their brains blown over the windshield. The blood of the man who had tried to rape the missing Josie, then planned to try again, he hung Christian off the overpass after he disrespected a man who deserved none. The man’s blood mixed in with the sand and made it red, redder then the sunset.
Christian laid on the sandy beach with his mouth wide open, speechless, staring up at the sky. Slowly, he managed to mutter a sentence, “If they find out that we killed them...We’re dead.”
Letting out a sigh, Jerry turned his attention to the young man… [view original content]
Hey, got a question for you. There are already quite a few characters that were not introduced yet, d'you have some plans for at least some of them by now?
I'm still very much in the stage planning for episode 2 and onward, but plenty of characters are to be introduced in each episode. I simply don't want to over populate the story too soon or else I'll have tons of characters without their personal stories and development.
So yes, I have plans for some of the character, but I'm taking those plans slowly.
[Shoot the drug addict.]
Hey, got a question for you. There are already quite a few characters that were not introduced yet, d'you have some plans for at least some of them by now?
I'm still very much in the stage planning for episode 2 and onward, but plenty of characters are to be introduced in each episode. I simply … moredon't want to over populate the story too soon or else I'll have tons of characters without their personal stories and development.
So yes, I have plans for some of the character, but I'm taking those plans slowly.
I've actually feared Trauma since you gave the title and I find it funny now but I'm probably not going to think it's funny when someone dies a horrifying death.
I've actually feared Trauma since you gave the title and I find it funny now but I'm probably not going to think it's funny when someone dies a horrifying death.
But, yeah, fear my power over the characters. Fear me! >:D
[Fear intensifies]
By the way, I have made a few thoughts about that title too. I think it is very likely that someone will get some sort of trauma. I'm not an expert for trauma stuff, but it could refer to an emotional trauma.
In that case, it could relate to Josie learning about her brother's death and taking it very badly. And while I'm sure that she's not going to take it kindly, to say the least, I do hope that she is not going into a trauma because of it, though the sort of trauma that involves torturing Zafir to death would be okay.
However, looking through the characters who are to be introduced, I see two family members of Stan and Dan. And recalling their backstory, it could be his mother and sister who seem to have faced a rather traumatic experience from what Stan told Anthony in Chapter 1, as well as them being confronted with Stan's death.
Of course it could also be some sort of physical trauma, i.e. someone getting shot or beaten to near death and spending the episode in a traumatic, near-death half-comatose state. In that case, I could see the groups resident protector, Jerry, taking a rough beating from a Heisenberg cultist or even getting shot, nonlethally of course. And even though I'm certainly not the #1 Jerry fan and his first impression certainly left it's mark in how I view him, I do not wish that for him.
Or all three of these things happen, combined to some sort of Super-Trauma, including several traumatic things I haven't even counted on so far. In any case, I am scared for the episode.
You should be scared of every Episode...Chapter...Part...Because one way or other it either gets closer to finding Josie and Lindsay, but have you given thought to what you might find?
A Marching Band does what? It marches forward. What is Kingdom Come? A place you may enter, but never leave, but honestly...What could keep you from leaving? A Small Town is...Relatively small with few residents...Who would they be? How would they react to new people?
Lastly...People can deny their end...But can they truly stop it?
Trauma, Among...It's only a single stone in this building...Once you stack them all together...You have a monument.
But, yeah, fear my power over the characters. Fear me! >:D
[Fear intensifies]
By the way, I have made a few thoughts about tha… moret title too. I think it is very likely that someone will get some sort of trauma. I'm not an expert for trauma stuff, but it could refer to an emotional trauma.
In that case, it could relate to Josie learning about her brother's death and taking it very badly. And while I'm sure that she's not going to take it kindly, to say the least, I do hope that she is not going into a trauma because of it, though the sort of trauma that involves torturing Zafir to death would be okay.
However, looking through the characters who are to be introduced, I see two family members of Stan and Dan. And recalling their backstory, it could be his mother and sister who seem to have faced a rather traumatic experience from what Stan told Anthony in Chapter 1, as well as them being confronted with Stan's death.
Of cours… [view original content]
You should be scared of every Episode...Chapter...Part...Because one way or other it either gets closer to finding Josie and Lindsay, but ha… moreve you given thought to what you might find?
A Marching Band does what? It marches forward. What is Kingdom Come? A place you may enter, but never leave, but honestly...What could keep you from leaving? A Small Town is...Relatively small with few residents...Who would they be? How would they react to new people?
Lastly...People can deny their end...But can they truly stop it?
Trauma, Among...It's only a single stone in this building...Once you stack them all together...You have a monument.
You should be scared of every Episode...Chapter...Part...Because one way or other it either gets closer to finding Josie and Lindsay, but ha… moreve you given thought to what you might find?
A Marching Band does what? It marches forward. What is Kingdom Come? A place you may enter, but never leave, but honestly...What could keep you from leaving? A Small Town is...Relatively small with few residents...Who would they be? How would they react to new people?
Lastly...People can deny their end...But can they truly stop it?
Trauma, Among...It's only a single stone in this building...Once you stack them all together...You have a monument.
Because one way or other it either gets closer to finding Josie and Lindsay, but have you given thought to what you might find?
Oh god, I was wrong. NOW I'm scared. Please Hope, reveal their fate soon, the suspense is terrible. I'm meaning the bad meaning of terrible here. I hate incertainty when it comes to characters I'm invested in
So far I only wish for a bloody death for Zafir, but if he does something to Josie, undeath would be too good for him and anyone even remotely involved with him, including Christian. In that case they all need to suffer far beyond what Michonne did to the comic governor...
Speaking of, while writing this I kind of start to hate Christian again for being involved with that mess...
In fact I've thought about what he might did or will do to Josie and nothing I came up with was a scenario I liked even remotely, especially since Lindsay is confirmed to reappear. I mean, that group of irredeemable monsters kidnapped them for some reason, right? Among the things I've thought about are that he uses them as meth lab-rats or that he simply brutally tortures or rapes them for fun. In any way, Zafir lost his right to live without unspeakable agony the moment he harmed Josie.
I guess next time I should submit a dozen characters, so that I never run into any danger of running out of them... But, alas, I am quite bad at creating multiple characters.
You should be scared of every Episode...Chapter...Part...Because one way or other it either gets closer to finding Josie and Lindsay, but ha… moreve you given thought to what you might find?
A Marching Band does what? It marches forward. What is Kingdom Come? A place you may enter, but never leave, but honestly...What could keep you from leaving? A Small Town is...Relatively small with few residents...Who would they be? How would they react to new people?
Lastly...People can deny their end...But can they truly stop it?
Trauma, Among...It's only a single stone in this building...Once you stack them all together...You have a monument.
In due time, Liquid, in due time. I hope you've given it good thought. After all, what do you expect to find? Something...Reinsurance? Hope they could be alive? In case they are found...What are you going to find? Will it be something you want to find out, truly...Do you wanna know?
Zafir, Zafir, Zafir...What do you expect him to be? It's not like he's...Immortal. What do you think he is? A DEA or a FBI agent hell bent on causing pain and suffering? He's built something that works (of cause by using people as slaves) in a world there flips you upside down, seals your heart and breaks your pride...
Speaking of him...I'll like to bring up the fact Christian and Maria tried to escape the mall and Zafir awhile ago, but were caught and forced back into working, Christian being put to work guarding trades while Maria went missing - most likely being held simpler to Josie and Lindsay. Christian's as much as a victim as Josie or Atlanta. Don't forget that. Don't forget who the characters' allies are, you could shoot yourself in the foot.
That...Doesn't really help. Trust me, it pretty much just waters down your characters. But I'm always looking for more characters, just know that it spell the end of people...Not necessarily your characters either.
Because one way or other it either gets closer to finding Josie and Lindsay, but have you given thought to what you might find?
Oh g… moreod, I was wrong. NOW I'm scared. Please Hope, reveal their fate soon, the suspense is terrible. I'm meaning the bad meaning of terrible here. I hate incertainty when it comes to characters I'm invested in
So far I only wish for a bloody death for Zafir, but if he does something to Josie, undeath would be too good for him and anyone even remotely involved with him, including Christian. In that case they all need to suffer far beyond what Michonne did to the comic governor...
Speaking of, while writing this I kind of start to hate Christian again for being involved with that mess...
In fact I've thought about what he might did or will do to Josie and nothing I came up with was a scenario I liked even remotely, especially since Lindsay is confirmed to reappear. I mean, that group of irredeemable mon… [view original content]
Something bad. Best outcome I could think of would be Josie in one piece, but broken in some other way. It will be something bad regardless, something a lot of methdealers will have to die screaming for
What are you going to find?
Something I won't like at all, I think you managed to convince me of that
Do you wanna know?
Yes, because the incertainty is horrible. At least knowing what happened is something.
What do you think he is? A DEA or a FBI agent hell bent on causing pain and suffering?
Doesn't matter, someone should cause him a good amount of pain and suffering regardless of what he is
He's built something that works
It works only for a very limited amount of people in his group. And it won't work forever.
Christian's as much as a victim as Josie or Atlanta
I know, I know, you're probably right and I'm pretty irrational when it comes to that. Still, the simple fact that he is involved with these guys gives me negative feelings towards him, no matter how much of a victim he is. My amount of hatred towards Christian will depend on Josie's condition. Right now I'm remaining neutral about him, but if the group he works for did something to her, he's beyond any redemption for me and I will actively try to kill him with my votes. I think the proverb is called 'Cling together, swing together'
Trust me, it pretty much just waters down your characters. But I'm always looking for more characters, just know that it spell the end of people..
Looking at the amount of characters who are still waiting to be introduced, that is not a good sign for Josie... Though I have to say that I am honestly bad at creating multiple characters, nor do I like creating so many characters, so I won't even be able to submit that many.
In due time, Liquid, in due time. I hope you've given it good thought. After all, what do you expect to find? Something...Reinsurance? Hope … morethey could be alive? In case they are found...What are you going to find? Will it be something you want to find out, truly...Do you wanna know?
Zafir, Zafir, Zafir...What do you expect him to be? It's not like he's...Immortal. What do you think he is? A DEA or a FBI agent hell bent on causing pain and suffering? He's built something that works (of cause by using people as slaves) in a world there flips you upside down, seals your heart and breaks your pride...
Speaking of him...I'll like to bring up the fact Christian and Maria tried to escape the mall and Zafir awhile ago, but were caught and forced back into working, Christian being put to work guarding trades while Maria went missing - most likely being held simpler to Josie and Lindsay. Christian's as much as a victim as Josie or Atlanta. Don't … [view original content]
I think you've missed the point with Christian: He's not working for them, he's being forced just as much as Jerry or Atlanta. He's not the problem. If anything, he's part of the solution.
After all, what do you expect to find?
Something bad. Best outcome I could think of would be Josie in one piece, but broken in some … moreother way. It will be something bad regardless, something a lot of methdealers will have to die screaming for
What are you going to find?
Something I won't like at all, I think you managed to convince me of that
Do you wanna know?
Yes, because the incertainty is horrible. At least knowing what happened is something.
What do you think he is? A DEA or a FBI agent hell bent on causing pain and suffering?
Doesn't matter, someone should cause him a good amount of pain and suffering regardless of what he is
He's built something that works
It works only for a very limited amount of people in his group. And it won't work forever.
Christian's as much as a victim as Josie or Atlanta
I know, I know, you're probably right and I'm pretty irrational … [view original content]
So that means it's like a puzzle, correct? One piece being Christian, another piece being (what seems like) Jordan, another piece being Jerry, Lindsay, and Josie.
If we put all of those people together, we get the solution, right?
I think you've missed the point with Christian: He's not working for them, he's being forced just as much as Jerry or Atlanta. He's not the problem. If anything, he's part of the solution.
part of the solution.
So that means it's like a puzzle, correct? One piece being Christian, another piece being (what seems like) Jo… morerdan, another piece being Jerry, Lindsay, and Josie.
If we put all of those people together, we get the solution, right?
I know, you are right. Like I said, I am irrational in that point and I fully admit to it. Christian is likely on Jerry's side here and I believe he can be a very valuable ally, who might even be able to save members of the group. But since I am very worried about Josie's fate right now, I don't know if I can forgive his involvement in the groups current situation, forced or not. I'll try my best to remain neutral about Christian and look forward for his actions in the coming chapter.
I don't hate him, like I did with Chapter 1 and 2 Jerry, I even liked him after he started helping Jerry at the end of Chapter 4, but after putting some serious amount of thought into this, I really don't know about him anymore. His involvement in the things that happened prevent me from liking him so far, but as always, I am sure I can't manage to uphold irrational hatred against a character, not the way you write them. The way I see him is, that he is comparable to Eugene from the comics/show. That guy fucked up big time and I still hold it against him and don't really like him, despite his more recent and certainly heroic deeds. But, like I said, I'm sure you're going to change my mind about Christian soon.
The only character I will hate for sure and forever, regardless of whatever tragic childhood, redeeming features, positive character traits he might have is Zafir. I don't care who he is, he's going down.
I think you've missed the point with Christian: He's not working for them, he's being forced just as much as Jerry or Atlanta. He's not the problem. If anything, he's part of the solution.
I know, you are right. Like I said, I am irrational in that point and I fully admit to it. Christian is likely on Jerry's side here and I be… morelieve he can be a very valuable ally, who might even be able to save members of the group. But since I am very worried about Josie's fate right now, I don't know if I can forgive his involvement in the groups current situation, forced or not. I'll try my best to remain neutral about Christian and look forward for his actions in the coming chapter.
I don't hate him, like I did with Chapter 1 and 2 Jerry, I even liked him after he started helping Jerry at the end of Chapter 4, but after putting some serious amount of thought into this, I really don't know about him anymore. His involvement in the things that happened prevent me from liking him so far, but as always, I am sure I can't manage to uphold irrational hatred against a character, not the way you write them. The way I see him is, that he is compa… [view original content]
If anything, I am afraid for Josie's life, her physical and mental health. And if he does or did the stuff I am afraid he is going to do, there's little to no one left to fear for. Killing half of my characters (and yes, I hold him responsible for Anthony's death) made it very personal and that suppresses any chance of me ever fearing this guy. I simply hate him already with a burning passion, and even better, I hate him for a good reason and everything he is going to do will only make me hate him more. I don't fear easily when I hate something. I don't even care for whatever sick reason he might have and whatever disgusting philosophy he might follow or whatever horrific backstory he might have, I just want to see him in agony for a long time.
I think I can fully sympathize with the way Jerry looks at this whole thing... wait... oh my god... I think I might be able to finally admit that I root for Jerry and that I have grown to like him. The new Protector-Jerry and I seem to have some things in common.
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Opening.
Jerry Stewart.
Jerry’s expression seemed boiled with anger at … morethe man who lay dead before him. Someone who didn’t deserve mercy, pity, nor any form of comfort. The sun was sitting behind the far off landscape as the water filled the pickup truck sitting on the lake, then the second asshole set in the truck’s driver’s seat with their brains blown over the windshield. The blood of the man who had tried to rape the missing Josie, then planned to try again, he hung Christian off the overpass after he disrespected a man who deserved none. The man’s blood mixed in with the sand and made it red, redder then the sunset.
Christian laid on the sandy beach with his mouth wide open, speechless, staring up at the sky. Slowly, he managed to mutter a sentence, “If they find out that we killed them...We’re dead.”
Letting out a sigh, Jerry turned his attention to the young man… [view original content]
Comments
I don't know what you're talking about :P
The name scares me of what will happen
:c
Will or has? :P
Okay, sorry for the lack of any new parts. I simply haven't gotten started on it yet, though I will be very soon. Sadly today I'm little too busy to start working on and part and finish it, same can said about tomorrow. But know that there will be a opening for this new chapter soon, though once again I can't be too sure when it'll come out.
Another thing I wanted to mention was the scene from the first chapter, it was pretty out-of-place in all, but there's some meaning to it. If you want to give it another look...Here.
Now, despite what you might think, this is actually something that will come up in the story. Though there's no telling when. But I'll tell you a little something...More points-of-view are coming soon, not just the main group either, but new groups and character alike!
I want to keep chapter 5 somewhat straight forward so there's only going to be P.O.Ws from certain characters that you would probably expect. But once Episode two begins, that's when you will be introduced to more view points.
Lastly, I know I said I'd reveal new chapter titles with each new part for chapter 5, but now I'll still be doing that, but also revealing them whenever I feel like it. So, what I want to ask you is; what do the titles mean to you? Pick one that stands out or all of them, I'd just like to know what meaning behind them YOU gave them.
Cool!
"Marching Band" seems like a war to me.
"In Kingdom Come" sound religious for me (?)
"Small Town" means that most of the characters gets together because this is a small town or something like that or most of the people die before this one
"Deny The End" is for someone dying.
Good guesses, good guesses... >:3
Episode 1: The Gateway Dream - Chapter 5: Nine O’clock Lab - Opening.
Jerry Stewart.
Jerry’s expression seemed boiled with anger at the man who lay dead before him. Someone who didn’t deserve mercy, pity, nor any form of comfort. The sun was sitting behind the far off landscape as the water filled the pickup truck sitting on the lake, then the second asshole set in the truck’s driver’s seat with their brains blown over the windshield. The blood of the man who had tried to rape the missing Josie, then planned to try again, he hung Christian off the overpass after he disrespected a man who deserved none. The man’s blood mixed in with the sand and made it red, redder then the sunset.
Christian laid on the sandy beach with his mouth wide open, speechless, staring up at the sky. Slowly, he managed to mutter a sentence, “If they find out that we killed them...We’re dead.”
Letting out a sigh, Jerry turned his attention to the young man. “C’mon.” He grabbed hold on the man’s upper arm and pulled him to his feet as he walked him close to the road. Christian quickly shook his arm out of his grip. “What are we going to say?” He demanded in a shocked tone, it shined through as he stood still staring at the man who killed two others.
“We are going to lie and say they were killed by the junkie or walkers…” Jerry answered, coldly turning away from Christian. “But we have a bigger plan to make. We’re gonna bust out of their little mall with all our people…Find our missing people, along with anyone else who’s looking to leave.” He finished and began walking forward, towards the highway once again.
Christian shot a look back at the truck that rested in the lake, the two awful, messed up, people he had helped kill. He probably felt more guilty of murder then Jerry. He shook off his thoughts as he chased after Jerry, quickly catching up again. They were about to leave the small sandy beach behind them, but then a sound echoed through Jerry’s and Christian’s ears as they turned to face the noise.
The drug addict faced them from the truck with the bag of meth in one hand and the other covering the wound on his shoulder. Jerry still held the revolver in his hand and gripped it tightly as they watched the man, and he watched them, all in complete silence.
[Shoot the drug addict.]
[Leave.]
[Shoot the drug addict.] It'll probably help them in their lie.
Good thinking. I didn't know if anyone would think of that.
.>.>
<.<
Oh, um...And Chapter 2: "Among".
Among hmmm
The surivors learn how to walk among the dead. A new threat is among the Survivors. I'm not too sure
It has a very clear meaning, one I can't reveal because of...Reasons.
But it'll make complete sense once the time comes! ^-^
All of them will...hehehe >:3
I'm actually super afraid for Trauma.
[Shoot the drug addict.]
[Shoot the drug addict.]
Gotta keep the lie real.
[Shoot the drug addict.]
[Leave.]
[Shoot the drug addict.]
Of course, this could also influence Christian's opinion about Jerry. However the drug addict tried to kill him first and seems to be a genuinely terrible person, so good riddance! After all, Christian has his own reasons to help as well and I don't think he will turn on Jerry simply for shooting a potentially dangerous asshole.
Finally, shooting him will help covering their lie up. He is also involved with Zafir's group and in my opinion, everyone involved with these guys deserves a truly horrible death or worse, at least everyone except Christian and maybe the person who prevented the rape.
Your fear is well placed.
[Shoot the drug addict.]
Hey, got a question for you. There are already quite a few characters that were not introduced yet, d'you have some plans for at least some of them by now?
I'm still very much in the stage planning for episode 2 and onward, but plenty of characters are to be introduced in each episode. I simply don't want to over populate the story too soon or else I'll have tons of characters without their personal stories and development.
So yes, I have plans for some of the character, but I'm taking those plans slowly.
I've actually feared Trauma since you gave the title and I find it funny now but I'm probably not going to think it's funny when someone dies a horrifying death.
Well...Unless it's a funny horrifying death. Then it'll be rather amusing!
But, yeah, fear my power over the characters. Fear me! >:D
[Fear intensifies]
By the way, I have made a few thoughts about that title too. I think it is very likely that someone will get some sort of trauma. I'm not an expert for trauma stuff, but it could refer to an emotional trauma.
In that case, it could relate to Josie learning about her brother's death and taking it very badly. And while I'm sure that she's not going to take it kindly, to say the least, I do hope that she is not going into a trauma because of it, though the sort of trauma that involves torturing Zafir to death would be okay.
However, looking through the characters who are to be introduced, I see two family members of Stan and Dan. And recalling their backstory, it could be his mother and sister who seem to have faced a rather traumatic experience from what Stan told Anthony in Chapter 1, as well as them being confronted with Stan's death.
Of course it could also be some sort of physical trauma, i.e. someone getting shot or beaten to near death and spending the episode in a traumatic, near-death half-comatose state. In that case, I could see the groups resident protector, Jerry, taking a rough beating from a Heisenberg cultist or even getting shot, nonlethally of course. And even though I'm certainly not the #1 Jerry fan and his first impression certainly left it's mark in how I view him, I do not wish that for him.
Or all three of these things happen, combined to some sort of Super-Trauma, including several traumatic things I haven't even counted on so far. In any case, I am scared for the episode.
You should be scared of every Episode...Chapter...Part...Because one way or other it either gets closer to finding Josie and Lindsay, but have you given thought to what you might find?
A Marching Band does what? It marches forward. What is Kingdom Come? A place you may enter, but never leave, but honestly...What could keep you from leaving? A Small Town is...Relatively small with few residents...Who would they be? How would they react to new people?
Lastly...People can deny their end...But can they truly stop it?
Trauma, Among...It's only a single stone in this building...Once you stack them all together...You have a monument.
It´s obviously death. But why not drugs too? :P
It's a place ^-^
Oh god, I was wrong. NOW I'm scared. Please Hope, reveal their fate soon, the suspense is terrible. I'm meaning the bad meaning of terrible here. I hate incertainty when it comes to characters I'm invested in
So far I only wish for a bloody death for Zafir, but if he does something to Josie, undeath would be too good for him and anyone even remotely involved with him, including Christian. In that case they all need to suffer far beyond what Michonne did to the comic governor...
Speaking of, while writing this I kind of start to hate Christian again for being involved with that mess...
In fact I've thought about what he might did or will do to Josie and nothing I came up with was a scenario I liked even remotely, especially since Lindsay is confirmed to reappear. I mean, that group of irredeemable monsters kidnapped them for some reason, right? Among the things I've thought about are that he uses them as meth lab-rats or that he simply brutally tortures or rapes them for fun. In any way, Zafir lost his right to live without unspeakable agony the moment he harmed Josie.
I guess next time I should submit a dozen characters, so that I never run into any danger of running out of them... But, alas, I am quite bad at creating multiple characters.
In due time, Liquid, in due time. I hope you've given it good thought. After all, what do you expect to find? Something...Reinsurance? Hope they could be alive? In case they are found...What are you going to find? Will it be something you want to find out, truly...Do you wanna know?
Zafir, Zafir, Zafir...What do you expect him to be? It's not like he's...Immortal. What do you think he is? A DEA or a FBI agent hell bent on causing pain and suffering? He's built something that works (of cause by using people as slaves) in a world there flips you upside down, seals your heart and breaks your pride...
Speaking of him...I'll like to bring up the fact Christian and Maria tried to escape the mall and Zafir awhile ago, but were caught and forced back into working, Christian being put to work guarding trades while Maria went missing - most likely being held simpler to Josie and Lindsay. Christian's as much as a victim as Josie or Atlanta. Don't forget that. Don't forget who the characters' allies are, you could shoot yourself in the foot.
That...Doesn't really help. Trust me, it pretty much just waters down your characters. But I'm always looking for more characters, just know that it spell the end of people...Not necessarily your characters either.
Something bad. Best outcome I could think of would be Josie in one piece, but broken in some other way. It will be something bad regardless, something a lot of methdealers will have to die screaming for
Something I won't like at all, I think you managed to convince me of that
Yes, because the incertainty is horrible. At least knowing what happened is something.
Doesn't matter, someone should cause him a good amount of pain and suffering regardless of what he is
It works only for a very limited amount of people in his group. And it won't work forever.
I know, I know, you're probably right and I'm pretty irrational when it comes to that. Still, the simple fact that he is involved with these guys gives me negative feelings towards him, no matter how much of a victim he is. My amount of hatred towards Christian will depend on Josie's condition. Right now I'm remaining neutral about him, but if the group he works for did something to her, he's beyond any redemption for me and I will actively try to kill him with my votes. I think the proverb is called 'Cling together, swing together'
Looking at the amount of characters who are still waiting to be introduced, that is not a good sign for Josie... Though I have to say that I am honestly bad at creating multiple characters, nor do I like creating so many characters, so I won't even be able to submit that many.
WHAT IS THIS
I think you've missed the point with Christian: He's not working for them, he's being forced just as much as Jerry or Atlanta. He's not the problem. If anything, he's part of the solution.
So that means it's like a puzzle, correct? One piece being Christian, another piece being (what seems like) Jordan, another piece being Jerry, Lindsay, and Josie.
If we put all of those people together, we get the solution, right?
Huh, um...well...hypocritically speaking...yes?
I know, you are right. Like I said, I am irrational in that point and I fully admit to it. Christian is likely on Jerry's side here and I believe he can be a very valuable ally, who might even be able to save members of the group. But since I am very worried about Josie's fate right now, I don't know if I can forgive his involvement in the groups current situation, forced or not. I'll try my best to remain neutral about Christian and look forward for his actions in the coming chapter.
I don't hate him, like I did with Chapter 1 and 2 Jerry, I even liked him after he started helping Jerry at the end of Chapter 4, but after putting some serious amount of thought into this, I really don't know about him anymore. His involvement in the things that happened prevent me from liking him so far, but as always, I am sure I can't manage to uphold irrational hatred against a character, not the way you write them. The way I see him is, that he is comparable to Eugene from the comics/show. That guy fucked up big time and I still hold it against him and don't really like him, despite his more recent and certainly heroic deeds. But, like I said, I'm sure you're going to change my mind about Christian soon.
The only character I will hate for sure and forever, regardless of whatever tragic childhood, redeeming features, positive character traits he might have is Zafir. I don't care who he is, he's going down.
Well, be glad you'll be having someone to hate soon.
Huh...or something to fear.
If anything, I am afraid for Josie's life, her physical and mental health. And if he does or did the stuff I am afraid he is going to do, there's little to no one left to fear for. Killing half of my characters (and yes, I hold him responsible for Anthony's death) made it very personal and that suppresses any chance of me ever fearing this guy. I simply hate him already with a burning passion, and even better, I hate him for a good reason and everything he is going to do will only make me hate him more. I don't fear easily when I hate something. I don't even care for whatever sick reason he might have and whatever disgusting philosophy he might follow or whatever horrific backstory he might have, I just want to see him in agony for a long time.
I think I can fully sympathize with the way Jerry looks at this whole thing... wait... oh my god... I think I might be able to finally admit that I root for Jerry and that I have grown to like him. The new Protector-Jerry and I seem to have some things in common.
[Leave.]
[Shoot the drug addict.]