Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 8
“Keep straight -- we’re going to Laredo,” Josephine hissed with a hint of resent towards Jake. He did not give … morea warning as he slammed on the gas pedal and they began flying down the road within a cloud of dust trailing the truck.
Behind them, Zafir and his men scrambled to the county road and continued to fire their barrage of bullets. But luckily Jake was already far enough down the road for the bullets to lose their accuracy, with the truck only catching a few of the speeding projectiles, none of which seemed to hinder the mobility of the truck.
As Zafir cursed the world and continued his fire, most of his men were already lowering their weapons and rushing towards the other trucks. Zafir continued to pull the trigger far after the clip had emptied. His eyes, through the slits of his bandaged face, stared in pure hatred at the retreating truck.
Jake breathed several heavy sighs of relief as his eyes da… [view original content]
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 8
“Keep straight -- we’re going to Laredo,” Josephine hissed with a hint of resent towards Jake. He did not give … morea warning as he slammed on the gas pedal and they began flying down the road within a cloud of dust trailing the truck.
Behind them, Zafir and his men scrambled to the county road and continued to fire their barrage of bullets. But luckily Jake was already far enough down the road for the bullets to lose their accuracy, with the truck only catching a few of the speeding projectiles, none of which seemed to hinder the mobility of the truck.
As Zafir cursed the world and continued his fire, most of his men were already lowering their weapons and rushing towards the other trucks. Zafir continued to pull the trigger far after the clip had emptied. His eyes, through the slits of his bandaged face, stared in pure hatred at the retreating truck.
Jake breathed several heavy sighs of relief as his eyes da… [view original content]
Sasha is not at the farmhouse. In fact... it wouldn't hurt to reveal where she actually is, would it now? She's in San Antonio. It's not like she won't ever appear since they chose to continue onward; consider her introduction delayed, but not canceled.
You'll just have to see how it plays out... Is Jerry fucked? Is Jerry not-so fucked? One thing you really need to understand: he's fucked either way.
where several bodies laid seemingly dead in view
Jerry alive confirmed. If it was Sasha as Liquid suggested, she would totally attempt to save him.
Safe-zone is total bullshit. And if it isn't we're going to fuck it up anyway.
Much appreciated! I'm glad I was able to provide an intense chapter, but given how the next two are being planned... it's likely to be out-shined with a few of its action scenes... An intense chase scene will also be present.
Laredo received a very large number of refugees - considering it's right on the border of Mexico - you can only imagine how chaotic it might have been in the beginning, even the days that followed. A troubling situation for any safe-zones attempting to keep on the up-and-up.
I'm sure Zafir considered Jerry as good as dead, if not dead already. It would be pretty hard to sallow if Jerry somehow survived a shot to the head. But if he is alive, there's going to be great consequence to being shot in the head without good or even any treatment. Let's just take a step back and say that, even if he did survive the shot, he'd have to survive much worse afterwards. Seizure, PTSD, and many more things would surely make him suffer, if not kill him.
As for Sasha, I'll confirm it's not her or Kidnapper-sonofabitch #3. It's just too coincidental to have Sasha, Jerry's ex., appear in that manner. Of course... there are other ways for her to find Jerry... Then, as for Kidnapper-sonofabitch #3, they're apart of Zafir's group. It wouldn't make sense for him to be in the house after coming there with Zafir. Whoever is in the house was there when the Harvest Hills group arrived. Zafir's group arrived just after that.
The remaining Harvest Hills group along with Jake and Violet are in pretty bad shape. As you've said, Ashley is shot up and in risk of bleeding out. Then you make a good point that Violets brother being shot thanks to Ashley, though luckily she isn't aware of it. That could prove to cause some fallout among the group if it ever became known.
Lastly... Josephine, she must have been thrown through several hoops, considering she appeared to trust Jordan, having that revelation come to her, then to have Jordan killed just like that is bound to have her beyond confused and feeling betrayed. But luckily Atlanta knows Jordan's side of the story, maybe she can put the topic to peace once and for all. Though Josephine way even feel betrayed by Atlanta, who knew and did not tell her. This plot is going to be put to rest soon, but there's still a lot to cover.
That was a great chapter, definitely one of my favourites in the whole story, despite the longer breaks While this final part was quite sho… morert of course, I still liked it. That penultimate part has to be one of my favourite parts in the whole story so far. I really wonder what's next for the group in Laredo. A safe zone does sound interesting. I hope it will be something like Alexandria, but I have the bad, bad feeling that it might be a trap, similar to Terminus. Safe zones are always a huge gamble. Perhaps it would have been a wiser decision to travel back to San Antonio. Ah, nonetheless, I'm looking forward for the next chapter, as always. And I'm afraid for the next chapter, as always.
But I'm also curious who that person inside of the house might be. Maria perhaps? Or Sasha, who was often hinted at by InGen? Kidnapper-sonofabitch #3? Or perhaps a completely new character? But I also see that Zafir and his goons left Jerry's body behin… [view original content]
I said this to Liquid but I'll say it again: Laredo is at the border. If a safe-zone was founded there, it would have had to endure some pretty fucked up days. Whether of not it did actually endure those days of hardship remains to be seen.
"What's in Laredo..."
"A safe-zone"
I have the sinking feeling that when they get there, it won;t be there. And well, I think our group is headed for a lot of trouble. 0.o
Anyways, Great chapter man! It was great!
Much appreciated! I'm glad I was able to provide an intense chapter, but given how the next two are being planned... it's likely to be out-shined with a few of its action scenes...
I fully expect this. So far, every time I thought this was the most intense stuff you've ever written, you manage to top it. I think it's safe to say that I should call my cardiologist again, for some Josie-related heartattacks. By the way, greetings from him, you're making him a very rich man thanks to my frequent visits.
An intense chase scene will also be present.
Oh god... ooh ooh god... This tiny innocent sentence was enough to make me realize how utterly messed up my creative brain is, because I saw a few frightening parallels to one of the best movies of the year... some of it is not exactly fitting, but let's see:
We got Jerry, who is a badass, but has been described as insane, one might even say... mad...
We got Zafir, the evil overlord who chases a bunch of women through an arid landscape after the end of civilization and has the need to cover his face for some reason...
We got Jordan, who was Zafir's top henchwoman before switching sides and helping a bunch of good guys, mostly women, escape Zafir's tyrannical, but safe base
We got Jake, former henchman of Zafir, participating in the chase before switching sides and aiding the group to escape.
We got Ashley, Atlanta, Josie and Violet, women who are fleeing from the evil overlord...
And to top it all, they chase in a stolen truck through a post-apocalyptic arid landscape, searching for a safe haven. Put all of this together and I somehow saw a perfect Mad Max reference. Of course, some things don't fit exactly, like Mad Jerry/Max and Jordan/Furiosa being out of the chase already, Jake is probably not Nux and Zafir is a hundred times worse than Immortan Joe, but the resemblance is uncanny for me. I'm sorry for writing this
Laredo received a very large number of refugees - considering it's right on the border of Mexico - you can only imagine how chaotic it might have been in the beginning, even the days that followed. A troubling situation for any safe-zones attempting to keep on the up-and-up.
You know, I'd be very, very surprised if the safe zone is actually a truly safe zone. Its either overrun or much, much worse.
Let's just take a step back and say that, even if he did survive the shot, he'd have to survive much worse afterwards. Seizure, PTSD, and many more things would surely make him suffer, if not kill him.
Oh shit, I haven't thought about the long term consequences such a shot might have for his brain. He got shot in the forehead, yes? I don't know which part of the brain is located there, but it is probably damaged now.
As for Sasha, I'll confirm it's not her or Kidnapper-sonofabitch #3.
I know, especially #3 was more thrown in at random. I'm very, very afraid for this guy and what he might plan for Josie. As for Sasha, it would have indeed been a huge coincidence. But what's with Christian's girlfriend Maria? I guess she wants to escape Zafir just as well.
Then you make a good point that Violets brother being shot thanks to Ashley, though luckily she isn't aware of it. That could prove to cause some fallout among the group if it ever became known.
You know, for a time I was assuming that Trevor was Kidnapper-sonofabitch #3, mainly because he is a creepy character in an other story, if I'm not mistaken. But I fear I was wrong here.
As for Violet, the fact that we know nothing about her makes me really nervous. Maybe she understands that Ashley had no choice in this, but she could become a danger to the group just as well.
But luckily Atlanta knows Jordan's side of the story, maybe she can put the topic to peace once and for all. Though Josephine way even feel betrayed by Atlanta, who knew and did not tell her. This plot is going to be put to rest soon, but there's still a lot to cover.
I don't think Josie will be too furious at Atlanta, who had a good reason to keep it secret once and for all. She might be a bit upset at first though. But I still don't know how she will react towards Jordan, who also helped her at the same time after all. Poor girl could really need a friend who does not turn out to be involved in her past mishappenings or keeps some secrets from her for once. Though... put to rest? I hope this does not mean that she dies soon
Much appreciated! I'm glad I was able to provide an intense chapter, but given how the next two are being planned... it's likely to be out-s… morehined with a few of its action scenes... An intense chase scene will also be present.
Laredo received a very large number of refugees - considering it's right on the border of Mexico - you can only imagine how chaotic it might have been in the beginning, even the days that followed. A troubling situation for any safe-zones attempting to keep on the up-and-up.
I'm sure Zafir considered Jerry as good as dead, if not dead already. It would be pretty hard to sallow if Jerry somehow survived a shot to the head. But if he is alive, there's going to be great consequence to being shot in the head without good or even any treatment. Let's just take a step back and say that, even if he did survive the shot, he'd have to survive much worse afterwards. Seizure, PTSD, and many more things would surely make him s… [view original content]
I don't know which part of the brain is located there, but it is probably damaged now.
It's the frontal Lobe. Associated with things like long-term memory, Emotions, voluntary motions, deciphering good,bad. It also has to deal with social tasks, like socially acceptable behavior. At least I think. I'm not a neurosurgeon or anything.
Much appreciated! I'm glad I was able to provide an intense chapter, but given how the next two are being planned... it's likely to be out-s… morehined with a few of its action scenes...
I fully expect this. So far, every time I thought this was the most intense stuff you've ever written, you manage to top it. I think it's safe to say that I should call my cardiologist again, for some Josie-related heartattacks. By the way, greetings from him, you're making him a very rich man thanks to my frequent visits.
An intense chase scene will also be present.
Oh god... ooh ooh god... This tiny innocent sentence was enough to make me realize how utterly messed up my creative brain is, because I saw a few frightening parallels to one of the best movies of the year... some of it is not exactly fitting, but let's see:
We got Jerry, who is a badass, but has been described as insane, one might even say... mad...
We got Zafir, the evil… [view original content]
I said this to Liquid but I'll say it again: Laredo is at the border. If a safe-zone was founded there, it would have had to endure some pre… moretty fucked up days. Whether of not it did actually endure those days of hardship remains to be seen.
Thanks!
I don't know which part of the brain is located there, but it is probably damaged now.
It's the frontal Lobe. Associated with things… more like long-term memory, Emotions, voluntary motions, deciphering good,bad. It also has to deal with social tasks, like socially acceptable behavior. At least I think. I'm not a neurosurgeon or anything.
That does not sound good He has hardly been the most socially acceptable guy around before, his emotions haven't been in the best order and it already took him a while to decipher good and bad without a piece of his brain missing. I guess if we're lucky he'll just have some movement problems and chronic headache. If we're unlucky, the old Jerry might be back for good.
I don't know which part of the brain is located there, but it is probably damaged now.
It's the frontal Lobe. Associated with things… more like long-term memory, Emotions, voluntary motions, deciphering good,bad. It also has to deal with social tasks, like socially acceptable behavior. At least I think. I'm not a neurosurgeon or anything.
No, It doesn't sound good. But at least maybe, possibly, there might be a chance he's still alive. Just possibly paralyzed for the rest of his life or something.
That does not sound good He has hardly been the most socially acceptable guy around before, his emotions haven't been in the best order an… mored it already took him a while to decipher good and bad without a piece of his brain missing. I guess if we're lucky he'll just have some movement problems and chronic headache. If we're unlucky, the old Jerry might be back for good.
That does not sound desirable either. In fact, it would be in some way even more heartbreaking, because of how utterly painful this would be to read about. But he was still able to move for a bit after the shot and even able to talk, even if the things he said have been pretty weird, so perhaps there's hope for him to end up not too crippled.
No, It doesn't sound good. But at least maybe, possibly, there might be a chance he's still alive. Just possibly paralyzed for the rest of his life or something.
Maybe. This, of course, is only if the bullet stopped in the frontal lobe. If it kept traveling, it would hit the Motor Cortex or the Temporal lobe, depending on it's trajectory. The motor cortex deals with planning and executing voluntary motions, while the Temporal lobe deals with language and memories.
That does not sound desirable either. In fact, it would be in some way even more heartbreaking, because of how utterly painful this would be… more to read about. But he was still able to move for a bit after the shot and even able to talk, even if the things he said have been pretty weird, so perhaps there's hope for him to end up not too crippled.
Chapter 3: “Sin” - Part 8
“Keep straight -- we’re going to Laredo,” Josephine hissed with a hint of resent towards Jake. He did not give … morea warning as he slammed on the gas pedal and they began flying down the road within a cloud of dust trailing the truck.
Behind them, Zafir and his men scrambled to the county road and continued to fire their barrage of bullets. But luckily Jake was already far enough down the road for the bullets to lose their accuracy, with the truck only catching a few of the speeding projectiles, none of which seemed to hinder the mobility of the truck.
As Zafir cursed the world and continued his fire, most of his men were already lowering their weapons and rushing towards the other trucks. Zafir continued to pull the trigger far after the clip had emptied. His eyes, through the slits of his bandaged face, stared in pure hatred at the retreating truck.
Jake breathed several heavy sighs of relief as his eyes da… [view original content]
I would just like to bring back InGen's check list from the beginning
◾Explosions
◾Mad Max style car chases
◾Wolves
◾Boats
◾D… moreieases
◾Armored cars and tanks and jeeps and rigs of every size. Chicken coups, full of bears, choppers filled the skies.
◾Lots of cannibals
◾Junkies
◾More Explosions
◾Dinosaur Skeleton
◾Power struggle.
Slowly but surely, we'll get to the dinosaur skeleton
It was over at the farmhouse. The land remained quiet -- and so Danny pushed the trap door open fully and pulled himself onto the floor. He was a young man. He had dark brown hair, stood about six feet tall, and walked with hushed feetsteps as he neared the front door. Staring upon the sight at a better view only served to disgust Danny further; the clear smell of lead and the sight of bullet shells almost made him feel sick.
His expression resembled one of a surprised drunken man, though he was sober and had been for most of his life, as he gazed upon the front yard. A dead woman and two dead men on the ground.
“Ugh…” one of the men groaned as they rose and stumbled to find their footing.
Danny quietly reached into his pocket upon hearing and witnessing one of the men stand from the ground with a bloodied ear. His hand emerged with a large pocket knife. It didn’t surprise him that this man rose -- though he was seemingly dead, the dead rose too often already.
“P-Put the knife up, kiddo. I ain’t going to hurt you.” The man who rose from the ground, not unlike a walker, ordered.
Danny hesitantly shook his head as he held onto the knife with a tightening grip. “What happened here?” Danny asked. “Who are you?”
“M-My name’s Trevor,” the man claimed. “And what happened here?” He gestured around the yard with his hand. ”A shitshow.”
“Are they dead?” Danny asked with concern while also tilting his head towards the other two lying in the dirt.
Trevor looked at the two on the ground with an upper lip raised in disgust. He looked towards Danny again and didn’t break eye contact until he was kneeled beside the woman. Placing his hand on her neck, he slowly rose and shook his head. Danny’s expression grew disheartening.
Once again, he kneeled by the man’s limp body and reached out to the his neck. He narrowed his eyes as he noticed the slow rising and lowering of the man’s chest. Trevor’s attention as taken away from the living man as it shifted to a pistol lying picked up a pistol lying on the ground near the body and held it in his hands, out of sight from Danny.
“He’s--” Danny stumbled forward a few steps before he stopped in his tracks. “He’s alive,” Danny concluded as the man with a bullet hole in his head twitched.
Trevor, with the pistol in hand, brandished it while keeping it hidden from Danny. “Yes, he’s alive,” Trevor replied.
Danny’s mouth fell open and he resisted the urge to help the man a little longer. “Listen, man. We gotta get him to a doctor…”
A smirt appeared on Trevor’s face. “There aren’t any hospitals, boy,” he chuckled. “There aren’t any doctors... “ He slowly raised from the ground with the pistol in hand.
Danny’s eyes widened at the sight of the gun. “Listen, man!” Danny pled as he took a step back. “There’s a doctor who doesn’t live more than twenty miles away from here!”
Trevor glanced towards the man who had burned down his and his sister’s livelihood. “Is that so?” he muttered as he put the pistol in his pants belt. The two stood in silence for several seconds. “Well?” Trevor exclaimed. “Shouldn’t get a move on?”
Danny stood there in a stubor as he slowly nodded and stepped forward to the man and stopped once he had reached him. “What happened exactly?” Danny asked again as he knelt over the man.
“Shitshow,” Trevor answered once more. He turned away from the the limp man once more and felt his bloodied ear and quickly retracted his hand after it stung. Trevor stared at the bullet-riddled camper and red truck. “Do you have something that doesn’t have a dozen holes in it?”
“Fuck…” Danny hissed as he thought of their limited transportation. “I have a motorcycle in the barn, but I doubt it’ll sit three.”
Trevor frowned and folded his arms menacingly. “I ain’t gonna get left behind here, am I?”
“No…” Danny mumbled as he reached under the arms of the unconscious man and began dragging him towards the barn. Trevor sighed frustratedly. “It’ll be easier to just bring the bike here.”
Danny sighed and gently lowered the man back to the ground. “I’ll be right back.” Trevor nodded, watched and waited as the young man hurried to the barn and soon returned rolling the motorcycle with him.
“You’re going to have to stay behind for just a bit, but--” Danny began. He caught the cold, piercing stare Trevor, stopped just yards away and paused. Danny shook his head having made up his mind. “I won’t leave you here for good -- this is my home, I’ll be back sooner rather than later.”
“Is that so?” Trevor commented, “your house is sure fixer upper now. I bet you’re not going to repair. Instead I’m guessing you’re going to move on somewhere else.”
“Jesus Christ, man,” Danny exclaimed, this time in a much more urgent manner. “I’m not some asshole! I’ll be back. But right now this guy needs fucking help!”
Trevor glanced towards the man on the ground who continued to draw in breath and exhale. “Promise is a promise. But do you promise?” Trevor’s eyes narrowed and a smirk appeared on his face. Danny made a slightly annoyed expression.
Not even waiting for an answer, Trevor continued, shaking his head with the sly grin still present. “I’ve kept you long enough then. Though you come now, ya hear? If not... we’re going to have a problem. Capisce?”
Danny quickly nodded in agreeance. “Ca-fucking-pisce,” he mouthed. “Now help get him on the motorcycle.”
Trevor nodded gruffly and picked up the limp man, setting down once again on the motorcycle. Quickly, Danny climbed on with the man in front of him. He pulled forward a bit and stopped. ”I’ll be back soon,” Danny affimed.
With that, Danny accelerated and threw dust into the air as he rode off the gravel driveway and took a right onto the county road. Towards Laredo, he drove.
Next part: Coming soon
To clarify, I have actually be working on the next chapter but it seems to have lumped together into one big part with no choice so far, but I will start posting it in parts since it seems to be a very large part, which don't always post well. Anyway, I'll probably post another segment later today. Gonna say... around 6:00 PM central time, if I remember of course. Thanks for reading though!
Edit: To clarify again, I'll post it all at that time (6:00 PM central) if it's done by then. If not I'll post another part of it without a choice.
Edit 2: Edit Harder: I actually finished the next part faster than I expected. Check it out below in case you missed it.
Chapter Four: “A Gone Man” - Part 1
It was over at the farmhouse. The land remained quiet -- and so Danny pushed the trap door open fully… more and pulled himself onto the floor. He was a young man. He had dark brown hair, stood about six feet tall, and walked with hushed feetsteps as he neared the front door. Staring upon the sight at a better view only served to disgust Danny further; the clear smell of lead and the sight of bullet shells almost made him feel sick.
His expression resembled one of a surprised drunken man, though he was sober and had been for most of his life, as he gazed upon the front yard. A dead woman and two dead men on the ground.
“Ugh…” one of the men groaned as they rose and stumbled to find their footing.
Danny quietly reached into his pocket upon hearing and witnessing one of the men stand from the ground with a bloodied ear. His hand emerged with a large pocket knife. It didn’t surprise him that this man ros… [view original content]
Chapter Four: “A Gone Man” - Part 1
It was over at the farmhouse. The land remained quiet -- and so Danny pushed the trap door open fully… more and pulled himself onto the floor. He was a young man. He had dark brown hair, stood about six feet tall, and walked with hushed feetsteps as he neared the front door. Staring upon the sight at a better view only served to disgust Danny further; the clear smell of lead and the sight of bullet shells almost made him feel sick.
His expression resembled one of a surprised drunken man, though he was sober and had been for most of his life, as he gazed upon the front yard. A dead woman and two dead men on the ground.
“Ugh…” one of the men groaned as they rose and stumbled to find their footing.
Danny quietly reached into his pocket upon hearing and witnessing one of the men stand from the ground with a bloodied ear. His hand emerged with a large pocket knife. It didn’t surprise him that this man ros… [view original content]
Okay! I actually reached the choice faster than I expected, and rather than withholding this new part until 6 PM, I thought I would post it now!
Chapter Four: "A Gone Man" - Part 2
Tension rose as the injured man threatened to tip off the bike with every bump in the road. Danny, having no experience carrying passenger, struggled to keep him upright. Though he managed, this problem pursued Danny for the whole ride until he finally slowed to almost a halt, and then turned onto a gravel driveway.
This house sat under a large green tree, casting a shadow over its front yard. Danny stopped just several feet away from the front door and jumped from the motorcycle. He lifted the unconscious man from the bike and rested him on the cement path leading to the porch.
Danny ran towards it with hurried steps as he banged on the door. “Calvin!” he shouted. “Doctor Calvin?!”
The door flew open and a older-looking man with round glasses poked his head out. “Danny…” he hissed under his breath, “I had heard the shots--” Calvin caught sight of the man on the sidewalk. “Jesus,” Calvin exclaimed as he pushed the door open fully and rushed towards him.
“Calvin… he’s been shot.”
“Yes, yes, I can fucking tell.” Calvin bit his lip as he inspected the wound on the man’s head. Following with the many cuts across his hands, sides and back. “He’s still breathing… bleeding, too… he’s lost a lot of blood,” Calvin determined. He then felt around the back of the man’s head for an exit wound. Running his hands through the man’s blood-soaked hair. “This… It’s related to the shots?”
“I… I believe so.” Danny shook his head with a disheartened expression. “There were two more… A woman… she’s dead... but the other man seemed alright… physically. I didn’t like him…”
Calvin raised an eyebrow. “Other?” He cringed slightly as he felt a small hole, at a different angle than he had originally expect, near the top of his head. “I’m no neurosurgeon, though I think it passed through his frontal lobe, but I’m not sure.”
Danny narrowed his eyes at the slow and inconsistent fluttering of the man’s eyelids. “Is he coming to?” Danny questioned, getting a little closer.
“He’s in shock; drifting in and out of consciousness,” Calvin hastily explained. “Help me get him inside and I’ll what I can do to stop the bleeding!”
Danny nodded and grabbed the man under the shoulders, and lifted as Calvin hoisted his legs and slung them between his armpits. Once inside, Calvin gestured towards the coffee table with a tilt of his head, and they lowered him onto the table.
Calvin quickly darted to a back hallway in a hurry. “Go to the bathroom and get some towels!” he ordered Danny.
Danny came running back into the room with an armful of towels and washcloths as he happened upon the man attempting to look around the room. “Wh-where…” he mumbled inaudibly. “Wh-where… are… they?”
“Who?” Danny asked as he crudely tossed the towels into the nearby sofa. “Who are you talking about?”
“We were... going... to Laredo,” he mumbled once again. “F-fucking… fucks… following...” The man seemed to tire and attempted to relax is head on the hard wood table. His eyes narrow and squinting, probably due to the blood in his eyes; his blood.
Calvin reentered the room with an armful of equipment and set it in the room orderly, more unlike Danny’s pile of unfolded towels. Calvin's eyes widened. “He’s… Is he talking?” Calvin questioned as he began unpacking some of the equipment.
“Yeah, he said… ‘Where are they? We were going to Laredo. Fucking fucks following’,” Danny repeated. “You don’t think he’s talking about people from his group?”
“Depends.” Calvin stepped away from his pile of equipment and placed his bloody hand on his forehead to try to massage some sense into himself, only to retract it with a slightly disgusted expression.
“Is he saying something?” Danny called to Calvin, who turned away from his equipment to find the man moving his lips slightly, but only a whisper. Calvin and Danny stood over him as he continued to mumble something incoherent.
“Can. You. Understand. Us?” Calvin mouthed with an urgent annoyance in his tone.
The man paused for a second before slow and painfully nodded. Calvin breathed a sigh of relief as he thought of what to ask. “What. Is. Your. Blood. Type?”
He slowly mouthed the words before actual words come out. “O… O-positive,” he struggled to answer.
Calvin nodded with a smile until it faded with the sudden revelation. “I’m A-positive,” Calvin admitted disappointedly. “Danny?” he looked at him for hope.
He could find none as Danny answered, “I… I don’t fucking know.” Calvin bit his lip frustratedly. “What about your… other aquaquanence?”
“I don’t know… I said I’d pick him up anyway, you want me to ask?” Danny narrowed his eyes to the outside window as what looked like a walker’s silhouette walk past. “Was that…” Danny trailed off and immediately shot his vision towards the open door.
“Jesus! Danny, shut the door!” Calvin exclaimed as Danny himself rushed to the knob and closed it to hear the familiar click. “Danny… there’s no telling how many of the dead ones those people attracted with their gunfire. If you’re going to pick this guy up, watch your back carefully.”
“Yeah, I will,” Danny muttered with his back to the door. “And you’re going to start…” he trailed off as Calvin nodded instantly.
“I’m gonna try to start the bleeding. Stitching and all that.” Calvin’s expression grew disheartening. “But if we can’t find a blood-donor something fast, we’ll going to have a dead guy on our hands…”
“No one likes the dead ones,” Danny mumbled under his breath. “You think he’ll come back with this kind of… brain trauma?” he spoke up with a question.
“I don’t know, and quite frankly, we don’t have time to talk about it. Go find this guy you mentioned, and… I guess, bring him here.” He narrowed his eyes with an angry disappointment. “The world’s gone through the shitter, make sure he’s... not a part of that, completely, at least.”
Danny narrowed his eyes in turn. “What do you…” he stopped as Calvin rolled his eyes. “Make sure he isn’t a fucking psychopath!” Calvin shouted with annoyance.
Danny sighed, understanding his impatience, he nodded. “I’ll go pick him up. But there’s one more thing…” Calvin looked Danny in the eye as he continued. “This guy’s group… him,” he pointed to the man on the table, “they went into Laredo.”
Calvin made a face of discomfort. “Laredo,” he mouthed. “If you want to look around a bit, go right ahead, but watch your back and don’t follow them across the water. The bridges are all blocked off, I doubt they could try others means across.”
“You fucking swim across that shit?” Danny’s curled in disgust. He shook his head. “I’ll try to find them if I can, after I bring Trevor back, that’s the guy’s name.”
“Trevor,” Calvin rolled the name off his tongue with relative ease. “Bring him here and make sure to ask for his blood-type; if he’s a match… well, this guy will have some actual hope.”
There was a sight bang on the door and their attention turned to it. “I’ll be back soon,” Danny hurried himself as he pulled his knife and prepared to open the door.
“And Danny,” Calvin caught his attention once more, “watch out for the people who did this.” He gestured to the bullet wound on Jerry’s head while he shook his own. “How far we’ve fallen…” he mumbled under his breath.
Danny nodded and pulled the door open and to his surprise it wasn’t one of the dead greeting him. In fact it was Trevor. Danny lowered his pocket, only slightly as Trevor eyed up the house and the man.
“A-ah, Trevor…” Danny stuttered, somewhat surprised by his appearance. “I was just on way out the door…” Danny quickly and defensively added.
“Yeah, lucky you, I’m a fast walker.” Trevor paused and glanced towards the man in the center of the room, standing over the injured man. “And you are?” Trevor held his hand up slightly as he gestured to the doctor. “Calvin.”
“Listen,” Danny narrowed his eyes, “Trevor,” the words rolled off his tongue with slight distrust as he continued, “what’s your blood-type?”
“Hell if I know,” Trevor replied as he stepped past Danny and inside the house. “You planning do some blood transfusion, or something?”
“Hopefully,” Calvin answered. “Danny, it’s best if you go onto Laredo… maybe you can find them. It’s our only shot at getting him some blood in him.”
Danny nodded and stepped out the door as he heard Calvin speaking with Trevor, “you know how to sew, right?”
He made his way towards Laredo on his motorcycle. The city, which stunk of rotting garbage, and trash spread about the streets. It was a smaller city than most, but residing at the border, it was hit hard when it all started.
All residing ‘safe’-zones barely had a chance; the border control stationed there gave up their protection of the state border and let people attempting to escape from mexico entered the state. Safe-zones were overcrowded and undersupplied.
Chaos ensued, like always. Now, weeks later, it was nothing more than a memory to Danny. A horrific memory that overpowered any achievement and made him feel sick at the thought.
As Danny turned onto a street he heard the sound of a vehicle somewhere nearby. Quickly and quietly, he hopped off his motorcycle and pushed it towards a wall of bushes, and forced himself inside of them with his bike.
He watched as a large truck rolled past the brushes and left the street, taking a right from direction Danny come from. He waited patiently and after several minutes the trucks rolled by once again. The meaning look of those inside halted Danny from making himself known. He assumed the injured man’s group would be on the from whoever hurt him, but these people were continually circling the block. Maybe the man’s group was cornered to this block. If so, he had to find them quickly and while remaining out of sight.
Out of sight, out of mind. The truck rolled past once more and as it turned the corner the third time, Danny emerged from the bushes, but the thought of it it certainly prevailed, as it should.
Once sure the truck had rounded the second corner he rounded the first himself and pushed his motorcycle beside him as he ran.
“Get inside!” a man hissed from one of the houses as he turned to see a man holding open a door.
Danny nodded as he pushed his bike through the door first and had it closed behind himself as he stood in the house with two people currently in view. One drew their pistol and had it pointed at Danny’s head in seconds.
“Shit,” Danny muttered as he raised his hands in the air and backed towards the door.
“You’re not with Zafir,” the man who drew their pistol hissed. “You would know,” the other, who was a woman muttered. The man shot a hurt look towards her before facing Danny again. “Let’s with names and intentions.”
“Danny… Ah, I, fuck, ah... Good intentions. Good intentions,” he almost shouted. He breath a sigh of relief as the man lowered their pistol, though still kept it by their side.
“Okay, Danny, I’m Jake, this is Josephine. Now, what are your intentions? Why are you here? Did you see the-” he began but paused as Danny nodded fiercely.
“The truck? They’re the ones that hurt your friend, right?” Danny questioned.
The man nodded with narrowed eyes. “Yeah… What the fuck do you know about this? Speak up now.”
“We have your friend - a doctor who’s a friend of mine - at a house just outside the city. He’s hurt badly… but he was alive, when I left at least.” Danny watched as the woman introduced to him as Josephine eyes widened.
“He’s alive?” she mumbled with a hint of uncertainty.
“He’s barely holding on, if that’s what you mean. The doctor - a guy named Calvin - needs someone with O-positive blood to perform a blood transfor. Your guy seriously needs it; he’s lost a lot.”
“He isn’t the only one,” the voice of another woman carried from the living room and she stepped inside the hallway.
Jake bit his lip and nodded regretfully. He gestured to the woman with his hand. “Atlanta, Danny. Danny, Atlanta.”
Danny raised his hand and waved slightly. “You have some injured as well? We gotta get back to the house as soon as we can then.”
“Yeah, Ashley got shot up pretty bad back at the farmhouse. We’ve done all we can to stop the bleed with some bandages we found here, but she’s also in need of a doctor.” Jake turned his attention to a door a the other end of the hallway. Danny followed his eyes to it.
“Is that back door?” Danny smiled with a hopeful expression. Jake nodded. “We have our… stolen truck hidden back in an alleyway.
“That makes getting out of here easier…” Danny muttered as he turned to his motorcycle propped out against the wall. “You’ll want me to drive, right? Since I know the way.”
“I suppose,” Jake said. He turned to the front door and shook his head. “We can’t risk getting followed by Zafir. We gotta play it safe…”
“How about a distraction?” Danny suggested.
Jake crossed his arms. “It sounds risky.” His eyes turned to Josephine's and he shook his head as he returned to Danny. “You’ll take the truck and drive them to your doctor friend’s house. Since we can’t allow Zafir to find us there… I’ll take your motorcycle and lead them away just to be absolutely sure it’s safe there. Anyone disagree?”
Josephine lowered her eyebrows with a frown before coming around and nodding in agreeance. “Fine, but…” she paused and bit her lip. “Don’t get shot.”
Jake had trouble figuring out whether it was a tone of concern or of some sick sarcasm. He choose to take it as a complement and smirked slightly. “Atlanta?”
She reluctantly nodded as well, but stayed silent.
“We good then?” Jake muttered. “What’s your say in it, Danny? Your opinion and mine carry the most weight.”
[“Agreed.”]
[“On second thought... it seems too risky and unnecessary.”]
Great to see Jerry M.F. Stewart still alive. I had the strong suspicion that this would be the case. Though I'm still concerned about his state, as there could be long-term consequences coming out of it.
Less enthusiastic about Trevor being still alive. I was surprised that he died before even appearing once, but I have a bad, bad feeling about him. He gives me very creepy vibes.
Chapter Four: “A Gone Man” - Part 1
It was over at the farmhouse. The land remained quiet -- and so Danny pushed the trap door open fully… more and pulled himself onto the floor. He was a young man. He had dark brown hair, stood about six feet tall, and walked with hushed feetsteps as he neared the front door. Staring upon the sight at a better view only served to disgust Danny further; the clear smell of lead and the sight of bullet shells almost made him feel sick.
His expression resembled one of a surprised drunken man, though he was sober and had been for most of his life, as he gazed upon the front yard. A dead woman and two dead men on the ground.
“Ugh…” one of the men groaned as they rose and stumbled to find their footing.
Danny quietly reached into his pocket upon hearing and witnessing one of the men stand from the ground with a bloodied ear. His hand emerged with a large pocket knife. It didn’t surprise him that this man ros… [view original content]
This is excellent. Jerry is holding on. He will survive. Anyway, this is minor tidbit, but you refer to 'Jerry's head' as Danny before he even knows who Jerry is.
Okay! I actually reached the choice faster than I expected, and rather than withholding this new part until 6 PM, I thought I would post it … morenow!
Chapter Four: "A Gone Man" - Part 2
Tension rose as the injured man threatened to tip off the bike with every bump in the road. Danny, having no experience carrying passenger, struggled to keep him upright. Though he managed, this problem pursued Danny for the whole ride until he finally slowed to almost a halt, and then turned onto a gravel driveway.
This house sat under a large green tree, casting a shadow over its front yard. Danny stopped just several feet away from the front door and jumped from the motorcycle. He lifted the unconscious man from the bike and rested him on the cement path leading to the porch.
Danny ran towards it with hurried steps as he banged on the door. “Calvin!” he shouted. “Doctor Calvin?!”
The door flew open and a older-looking man with round glasses poked … [view original content]
Okay! I actually reached the choice faster than I expected, and rather than withholding this new part until 6 PM, I thought I would post it … morenow!
Chapter Four: "A Gone Man" - Part 2
Tension rose as the injured man threatened to tip off the bike with every bump in the road. Danny, having no experience carrying passenger, struggled to keep him upright. Though he managed, this problem pursued Danny for the whole ride until he finally slowed to almost a halt, and then turned onto a gravel driveway.
This house sat under a large green tree, casting a shadow over its front yard. Danny stopped just several feet away from the front door and jumped from the motorcycle. He lifted the unconscious man from the bike and rested him on the cement path leading to the porch.
Danny ran towards it with hurried steps as he banged on the door. “Calvin!” he shouted. “Doctor Calvin?!”
The door flew open and a older-looking man with round glasses poked … [view original content]
First of all, Danny and Calvin are cool guys and I am glad they were the ones to encounter Jerry. And since he is still able to speak and understand sentences, there might be not all hope lost for him.
Second, Trevor gives me even more bad vibes now. I'm calling it now, he could indeed be kidnapper-sonofabitch #3, which is horrible, considering that he is likely going to meet up with Josephine soon. I hope that being with the group will keep her somewhat safe from that bastard. Though, even if he is not #3, he is creepy and I do not trust him at all. After all, he's still part of Zafir's sonofabitch-brigade. Damn it, they need to get rid of that guy soon, before he can try to do anything to her
[“Agreed.”]
The plan itself is not bad, I hope it works. However, I hope that Jake won't die as a result of it. He is a really great guy, definitely one of my favourites currently.
Okay! I actually reached the choice faster than I expected, and rather than withholding this new part until 6 PM, I thought I would post it … morenow!
Chapter Four: "A Gone Man" - Part 2
Tension rose as the injured man threatened to tip off the bike with every bump in the road. Danny, having no experience carrying passenger, struggled to keep him upright. Though he managed, this problem pursued Danny for the whole ride until he finally slowed to almost a halt, and then turned onto a gravel driveway.
This house sat under a large green tree, casting a shadow over its front yard. Danny stopped just several feet away from the front door and jumped from the motorcycle. He lifted the unconscious man from the bike and rested him on the cement path leading to the porch.
Danny ran towards it with hurried steps as he banged on the door. “Calvin!” he shouted. “Doctor Calvin?!”
The door flew open and a older-looking man with round glasses poked … [view original content]
Okay, I'm thoroughly thrilled, perplexed, and scared of Jerry's recovery.... He remembers his group, so he must be able to remember the past... He can speak, kinda, But It's still good for someone who got shot in the flippin' head. But what scares me, is that he doesn't move. I didn't see anything saying he moved, or at least I don't remember. But Ashley is also shot and bleeding. You didn't specify where and how many times she was shot, so it kinda worries me...
But seriously man, Great part!!!!
["Agreed."] We don't have time to sit around and make plans. We need to act now and think of consequence later if we have any chance of saving Jerry M.F. Stewart, and Ashley.
Okay! I actually reached the choice faster than I expected, and rather than withholding this new part until 6 PM, I thought I would post it … morenow!
Chapter Four: "A Gone Man" - Part 2
Tension rose as the injured man threatened to tip off the bike with every bump in the road. Danny, having no experience carrying passenger, struggled to keep him upright. Though he managed, this problem pursued Danny for the whole ride until he finally slowed to almost a halt, and then turned onto a gravel driveway.
This house sat under a large green tree, casting a shadow over its front yard. Danny stopped just several feet away from the front door and jumped from the motorcycle. He lifted the unconscious man from the bike and rested him on the cement path leading to the porch.
Danny ran towards it with hurried steps as he banged on the door. “Calvin!” he shouted. “Doctor Calvin?!”
The door flew open and a older-looking man with round glasses poked … [view original content]
[“Agreed.”]
This is excellent. Jerry is holding on. He will survive. Anyway, this is minor tidbit, but you refer to 'Jerry's head' as Danny before he even knows who Jerry is.
Otherwise,
Okay! I actually reached the choice faster than I expected, and rather than withholding this new part until 6 PM, I thought I would post it … morenow!
Chapter Four: "A Gone Man" - Part 2
Tension rose as the injured man threatened to tip off the bike with every bump in the road. Danny, having no experience carrying passenger, struggled to keep him upright. Though he managed, this problem pursued Danny for the whole ride until he finally slowed to almost a halt, and then turned onto a gravel driveway.
This house sat under a large green tree, casting a shadow over its front yard. Danny stopped just several feet away from the front door and jumped from the motorcycle. He lifted the unconscious man from the bike and rested him on the cement path leading to the porch.
Danny ran towards it with hurried steps as he banged on the door. “Calvin!” he shouted. “Doctor Calvin?!”
The door flew open and a older-looking man with round glasses poked … [view original content]
My God, must this forum always unfollow me from this awesome story? I keep forgetting about it, and I am reminded when I see your profile picture somewhere in my feed, "Oh shit! I forgot about Hope's story/stories! Pesky forum unfollowing me again."
Really, I'm sorry for this. It isn't my fault... well, maybe it is, because I'm also forgetting that new parts are being released, despite how much I love the story. ;-;
Okay! I actually reached the choice faster than I expected, and rather than withholding this new part until 6 PM, I thought I would post it … morenow!
Chapter Four: "A Gone Man" - Part 2
Tension rose as the injured man threatened to tip off the bike with every bump in the road. Danny, having no experience carrying passenger, struggled to keep him upright. Though he managed, this problem pursued Danny for the whole ride until he finally slowed to almost a halt, and then turned onto a gravel driveway.
This house sat under a large green tree, casting a shadow over its front yard. Danny stopped just several feet away from the front door and jumped from the motorcycle. He lifted the unconscious man from the bike and rested him on the cement path leading to the porch.
Danny ran towards it with hurried steps as he banged on the door. “Calvin!” he shouted. “Doctor Calvin?!”
The door flew open and a older-looking man with round glasses poked … [view original content]
Okay! I actually reached the choice faster than I expected, and rather than withholding this new part until 6 PM, I thought I would post it … morenow!
Chapter Four: "A Gone Man" - Part 2
Tension rose as the injured man threatened to tip off the bike with every bump in the road. Danny, having no experience carrying passenger, struggled to keep him upright. Though he managed, this problem pursued Danny for the whole ride until he finally slowed to almost a halt, and then turned onto a gravel driveway.
This house sat under a large green tree, casting a shadow over its front yard. Danny stopped just several feet away from the front door and jumped from the motorcycle. He lifted the unconscious man from the bike and rested him on the cement path leading to the porch.
Danny ran towards it with hurried steps as he banged on the door. “Calvin!” he shouted. “Doctor Calvin?!”
The door flew open and a older-looking man with round glasses poked … [view original content]
Okay! I actually reached the choice faster than I expected, and rather than withholding this new part until 6 PM, I thought I would post it … morenow!
Chapter Four: "A Gone Man" - Part 2
Tension rose as the injured man threatened to tip off the bike with every bump in the road. Danny, having no experience carrying passenger, struggled to keep him upright. Though he managed, this problem pursued Danny for the whole ride until he finally slowed to almost a halt, and then turned onto a gravel driveway.
This house sat under a large green tree, casting a shadow over its front yard. Danny stopped just several feet away from the front door and jumped from the motorcycle. He lifted the unconscious man from the bike and rested him on the cement path leading to the porch.
Danny ran towards it with hurried steps as he banged on the door. “Calvin!” he shouted. “Doctor Calvin?!”
The door flew open and a older-looking man with round glasses poked … [view original content]
So... I'm updating here too. I've been busy, I'm not sure when this will continue, but it will. My attention has been on a third writing project centered around a post-apocalyptic event. This is something I'm going to attempt to self-publish. I'll hopefully have more news for Monument, but it's looking like I'll be spending my time on this for a bit. I hope everyone understands. I am sorry. Still, this isn't canceled. It will continue in time.
So... I'm updating here too. I've been busy, I'm not sure when this will continue, but it will. My attention has been on a third writing pro… moreject centered around a post-apocalyptic event. This is something I'm going to attempt to self-publish. I'll hopefully have more news for Monument, but it's looking like I'll be spending my time on this for a bit. I hope everyone understands. I am sorry. Still, this isn't canceled. It will continue in time.
So, I wanted to ask what you thought of this idea: The way comments work on the forum is not ideal for writing, and since I want to improve my writing while properly formatting everything, I think it would be best to use something else than the actual forum. Now, before I say more about this, I'd like to explain it. I would use Google Documents to write up the part (as I usually do) and format it like an actual book, which I need to start working on. I would post the link to view it here. These links would take you to an online viewer, which is Google Documents itself. All in all, it should be an improvement, but I don't want to start using this if it's an inconvenience to anyone.
So, please, tell me what you think, if this would work for you and ask whatever questions you'd like to ask.
If you think that this will improve the story in some way, I think you should give it a try. Personally, I prefer the forum for reading the story, although this is likely just because I am more used to it. In time I should get used to read it in google docs too. And well, there are certainly worse ways of reading something online. Undeniably, the forum has a few downsides when it comes to writing stories. The post-length limit might be the most severe downside here, but I'm sure there are other downsides as well. Though, how would you handle the voting? Would we still vote as an answer to your post here in the thread? I would greatly prefer such a solution, as I am not a big fan of stuff like strawpoll when it comes to voting. Other than that, I think this sounds like an interesting idea that should be worth a try.
So, I wanted to ask what you thought of this idea: The way comments work on the forum is not ideal for writing, and since I want to improve … moremy writing while properly formatting everything, I think it would be best to use something else than the actual forum. Now, before I say more about this, I'd like to explain it. I would use Google Documents to write up the part (as I usually do) and format it like an actual book, which I need to start working on. I would post the link to view it here. These links would take you to an online viewer, which is Google Documents itself. All in all, it should be an improvement, but I don't want to start using this if it's an inconvenience to anyone.
So, please, tell me what you think, if this would work for you and ask whatever questions you'd like to ask.
So, I wanted to ask what you thought of this idea: The way comments work on the forum is not ideal for writing, and since I want to improve … moremy writing while properly formatting everything, I think it would be best to use something else than the actual forum. Now, before I say more about this, I'd like to explain it. I would use Google Documents to write up the part (as I usually do) and format it like an actual book, which I need to start working on. I would post the link to view it here. These links would take you to an online viewer, which is Google Documents itself. All in all, it should be an improvement, but I don't want to start using this if it's an inconvenience to anyone.
So, please, tell me what you think, if this would work for you and ask whatever questions you'd like to ask.
I'm working on the new part. I'm also likely going to abandon the idea I had to use google docs for writing, as it seems rather pointless. Anyway, you should seriously fear what will happen to Jerry now. With the injury he sustain, he could very well be in a vegetable-like state. Then again, that would be a little boring, but it would also pose some very difficult choices. Enough of that depressing subject. I'm sure he'll be fine.
Unto a new depressing subject! I've just been... just occupying myself. I don't know how to explain it. I've just been... here. Not doing much. It seems to me this isn't a good way to spend my time. So, I'm going to return to writing for both my stories as soon as I can write up a part for either. Though on a more positive note, like I said, I'm working on the next part for this. It'll be finished when I see fit, since I don't want to throw in a choice just to split up the part. Though I guess we'll see.
I want to thank all of you who have taken time out of there day to read this. It means a lot, honestly. I'm sorry I haven't given the same attention to those of you who have stories here. It feels like I'm not even trying to keep up with some of your works, and I feel like an asshat for that. I can't promise I'll be keeping up anymore than I am now, but just know I love your stories. They're great! Anyway, have a great afternoon (or night, I suppose, for some of you Europeans.) I'm gonna try to work on this new part and we'll see when it's done.
For fuck's shake, I forgot to close the voting. Maybe it doesn't matter now. But hell, why not.
(!) Danny and co. will use the plan and try to escape the patrolling trucks.
You all made a good choice, as if you hadn't chosen this option, it would have lead to another massacre, this time in the alley. And trust me, this time there would have been instant-a-deaths.
Comments
Jerry alive confirmed. If it was Sasha as Liquid suggested, she would totally attempt to save him.
Safe-zone is total bullshit. And if it isn't we're going to fuck it up anyway.
I have the sinking feeling that when they get there, it won;t be there. And well, I think our group is headed for a lot of trouble. 0.o
Anyways, Great chapter man! It was great!
Sasha is not at the farmhouse. In fact... it wouldn't hurt to reveal where she actually is, would it now? She's in San Antonio. It's not like she won't ever appear since they chose to continue onward; consider her introduction delayed, but not canceled.
You'll just have to see how it plays out... Is Jerry fucked? Is Jerry not-so fucked? One thing you really need to understand: he's fucked either way.
Much appreciated! I'm glad I was able to provide an intense chapter, but given how the next two are being planned... it's likely to be out-shined with a few of its action scenes... An intense chase scene will also be present.
Laredo received a very large number of refugees - considering it's right on the border of Mexico - you can only imagine how chaotic it might have been in the beginning, even the days that followed. A troubling situation for any safe-zones attempting to keep on the up-and-up.
I'm sure Zafir considered Jerry as good as dead, if not dead already. It would be pretty hard to sallow if Jerry somehow survived a shot to the head. But if he is alive, there's going to be great consequence to being shot in the head without good or even any treatment. Let's just take a step back and say that, even if he did survive the shot, he'd have to survive much worse afterwards. Seizure, PTSD, and many more things would surely make him suffer, if not kill him.
As for Sasha, I'll confirm it's not her or Kidnapper-sonofabitch #3. It's just too coincidental to have Sasha, Jerry's ex., appear in that manner. Of course... there are other ways for her to find Jerry... Then, as for Kidnapper-sonofabitch #3, they're apart of Zafir's group. It wouldn't make sense for him to be in the house after coming there with Zafir. Whoever is in the house was there when the Harvest Hills group arrived. Zafir's group arrived just after that.
The remaining Harvest Hills group along with Jake and Violet are in pretty bad shape. As you've said, Ashley is shot up and in risk of bleeding out. Then you make a good point that Violets brother being shot thanks to Ashley, though luckily she isn't aware of it. That could prove to cause some fallout among the group if it ever became known.
Lastly... Josephine, she must have been thrown through several hoops, considering she appeared to trust Jordan, having that revelation come to her, then to have Jordan killed just like that is bound to have her beyond confused and feeling betrayed. But luckily Atlanta knows Jordan's side of the story, maybe she can put the topic to peace once and for all. Though Josephine way even feel betrayed by Atlanta, who knew and did not tell her. This plot is going to be put to rest soon, but there's still a lot to cover.
I said this to Liquid but I'll say it again: Laredo is at the border. If a safe-zone was founded there, it would have had to endure some pretty fucked up days. Whether of not it did actually endure those days of hardship remains to be seen.
Thanks!
I fully expect this. So far, every time I thought this was the most intense stuff you've ever written, you manage to top it. I think it's safe to say that I should call my cardiologist again, for some Josie-related heartattacks. By the way, greetings from him, you're making him a very rich man thanks to my frequent visits.
Oh god... ooh ooh god... This tiny innocent sentence was enough to make me realize how utterly messed up my creative brain is, because I saw a few frightening parallels to one of the best movies of the year... some of it is not exactly fitting, but let's see:
We got Jerry, who is a badass, but has been described as insane, one might even say... mad...
We got Zafir, the evil overlord who chases a bunch of women through an arid landscape after the end of civilization and has the need to cover his face for some reason...
We got Jordan, who was Zafir's top henchwoman before switching sides and helping a bunch of good guys, mostly women, escape Zafir's tyrannical, but safe base
We got Jake, former henchman of Zafir, participating in the chase before switching sides and aiding the group to escape.
We got Ashley, Atlanta, Josie and Violet, women who are fleeing from the evil overlord...
And to top it all, they chase in a stolen truck through a post-apocalyptic arid landscape, searching for a safe haven. Put all of this together and I somehow saw a perfect Mad Max reference. Of course, some things don't fit exactly, like Mad Jerry/Max and Jordan/Furiosa being out of the chase already, Jake is probably not Nux and Zafir is a hundred times worse than Immortan Joe, but the resemblance is uncanny for me. I'm sorry for writing this
You know, I'd be very, very surprised if the safe zone is actually a truly safe zone. Its either overrun or much, much worse.
Oh shit, I haven't thought about the long term consequences such a shot might have for his brain. He got shot in the forehead, yes? I don't know which part of the brain is located there, but it is probably damaged now.
I know, especially #3 was more thrown in at random. I'm very, very afraid for this guy and what he might plan for Josie. As for Sasha, it would have indeed been a huge coincidence. But what's with Christian's girlfriend Maria? I guess she wants to escape Zafir just as well.
You know, for a time I was assuming that Trevor was Kidnapper-sonofabitch #3, mainly because he is a creepy character in an other story, if I'm not mistaken. But I fear I was wrong here.
As for Violet, the fact that we know nothing about her makes me really nervous. Maybe she understands that Ashley had no choice in this, but she could become a danger to the group just as well.
I don't think Josie will be too furious at Atlanta, who had a good reason to keep it secret once and for all. She might be a bit upset at first though. But I still don't know how she will react towards Jordan, who also helped her at the same time after all. Poor girl could really need a friend who does not turn out to be involved in her past mishappenings or keeps some secrets from her for once. Though... put to rest? I hope this does not mean that she dies soon
It's the frontal Lobe. Associated with things like long-term memory, Emotions, voluntary motions, deciphering good,bad. It also has to deal with social tasks, like socially acceptable behavior. At least I think. I'm not a neurosurgeon or anything.
Boarder war!!!
It is indeed the frontal lobe and everything you said is correct, basically impulsive behavior.
Yay! I'm a brain doctor!
That does not sound good
He has hardly been the most socially acceptable guy around before, his emotions haven't been in the best order and it already took him a while to decipher good and bad without a piece of his brain missing. I guess if we're lucky he'll just have some movement problems and chronic headache. If we're unlucky, the old Jerry might be back for good.
No, It doesn't sound good. But at least maybe, possibly, there might be a chance he's still alive. Just possibly paralyzed for the rest of his life or something.
That does not sound desirable either. In fact, it would be in some way even more heartbreaking, because of how utterly painful this would be to read about. But he was still able to move for a bit after the shot and even able to talk, even if the things he said have been pretty weird, so perhaps there's hope for him to end up not too crippled.
Maybe. This, of course, is only if the bullet stopped in the frontal lobe. If it kept traveling, it would hit the Motor Cortex or the Temporal lobe, depending on it's trajectory. The motor cortex deals with planning and executing voluntary motions, while the Temporal lobe deals with language and memories.
I would just like to bring back InGen's check list from the beginning
◾Explosions
◾Mad Max style car chases
◾Wolves
◾Boats
◾Dieases
◾Armored cars and tanks and jeeps and rigs of every size. Chicken coups, full of bears, choppers filled the skies.
◾Lots of cannibals
◾Junkies
◾More Explosions
◾Dinosaur Skeleton
◾Power struggle.
Slowly but surely, we'll get to the dinosaur skeleton
I remember this list.
Chapter Four: “A Gone Man” - Part 1
It was over at the farmhouse. The land remained quiet -- and so Danny pushed the trap door open fully and pulled himself onto the floor. He was a young man. He had dark brown hair, stood about six feet tall, and walked with hushed feetsteps as he neared the front door. Staring upon the sight at a better view only served to disgust Danny further; the clear smell of lead and the sight of bullet shells almost made him feel sick.
His expression resembled one of a surprised drunken man, though he was sober and had been for most of his life, as he gazed upon the front yard. A dead woman and two dead men on the ground.
“Ugh…” one of the men groaned as they rose and stumbled to find their footing.
Danny quietly reached into his pocket upon hearing and witnessing one of the men stand from the ground with a bloodied ear. His hand emerged with a large pocket knife. It didn’t surprise him that this man rose -- though he was seemingly dead, the dead rose too often already.
“P-Put the knife up, kiddo. I ain’t going to hurt you.” The man who rose from the ground, not unlike a walker, ordered.
Danny hesitantly shook his head as he held onto the knife with a tightening grip. “What happened here?” Danny asked. “Who are you?”
“M-My name’s Trevor,” the man claimed. “And what happened here?” He gestured around the yard with his hand. ”A shitshow.”
“Are they dead?” Danny asked with concern while also tilting his head towards the other two lying in the dirt.
Trevor looked at the two on the ground with an upper lip raised in disgust. He looked towards Danny again and didn’t break eye contact until he was kneeled beside the woman. Placing his hand on her neck, he slowly rose and shook his head. Danny’s expression grew disheartening.
Once again, he kneeled by the man’s limp body and reached out to the his neck. He narrowed his eyes as he noticed the slow rising and lowering of the man’s chest. Trevor’s attention as taken away from the living man as it shifted to a pistol lying picked up a pistol lying on the ground near the body and held it in his hands, out of sight from Danny.
“He’s--” Danny stumbled forward a few steps before he stopped in his tracks. “He’s alive,” Danny concluded as the man with a bullet hole in his head twitched.
Trevor, with the pistol in hand, brandished it while keeping it hidden from Danny. “Yes, he’s alive,” Trevor replied.
Danny’s mouth fell open and he resisted the urge to help the man a little longer. “Listen, man. We gotta get him to a doctor…”
A smirt appeared on Trevor’s face. “There aren’t any hospitals, boy,” he chuckled. “There aren’t any doctors... “ He slowly raised from the ground with the pistol in hand.
Danny’s eyes widened at the sight of the gun. “Listen, man!” Danny pled as he took a step back. “There’s a doctor who doesn’t live more than twenty miles away from here!”
Trevor glanced towards the man who had burned down his and his sister’s livelihood. “Is that so?” he muttered as he put the pistol in his pants belt. The two stood in silence for several seconds. “Well?” Trevor exclaimed. “Shouldn’t get a move on?”
Danny stood there in a stubor as he slowly nodded and stepped forward to the man and stopped once he had reached him. “What happened exactly?” Danny asked again as he knelt over the man.
“Shitshow,” Trevor answered once more. He turned away from the the limp man once more and felt his bloodied ear and quickly retracted his hand after it stung. Trevor stared at the bullet-riddled camper and red truck. “Do you have something that doesn’t have a dozen holes in it?”
“Fuck…” Danny hissed as he thought of their limited transportation. “I have a motorcycle in the barn, but I doubt it’ll sit three.”
Trevor frowned and folded his arms menacingly. “I ain’t gonna get left behind here, am I?”
“No…” Danny mumbled as he reached under the arms of the unconscious man and began dragging him towards the barn. Trevor sighed frustratedly. “It’ll be easier to just bring the bike here.”
Danny sighed and gently lowered the man back to the ground. “I’ll be right back.” Trevor nodded, watched and waited as the young man hurried to the barn and soon returned rolling the motorcycle with him.
“You’re going to have to stay behind for just a bit, but--” Danny began. He caught the cold, piercing stare Trevor, stopped just yards away and paused. Danny shook his head having made up his mind. “I won’t leave you here for good -- this is my home, I’ll be back sooner rather than later.”
“Is that so?” Trevor commented, “your house is sure fixer upper now. I bet you’re not going to repair. Instead I’m guessing you’re going to move on somewhere else.”
“Jesus Christ, man,” Danny exclaimed, this time in a much more urgent manner. “I’m not some asshole! I’ll be back. But right now this guy needs fucking help!”
Trevor glanced towards the man on the ground who continued to draw in breath and exhale. “Promise is a promise. But do you promise?” Trevor’s eyes narrowed and a smirk appeared on his face. Danny made a slightly annoyed expression.
Not even waiting for an answer, Trevor continued, shaking his head with the sly grin still present. “I’ve kept you long enough then. Though you come now, ya hear? If not... we’re going to have a problem. Capisce?”
Danny quickly nodded in agreeance. “Ca-fucking-pisce,” he mouthed. “Now help get him on the motorcycle.”
Trevor nodded gruffly and picked up the limp man, setting down once again on the motorcycle. Quickly, Danny climbed on with the man in front of him. He pulled forward a bit and stopped. ”I’ll be back soon,” Danny affimed.
With that, Danny accelerated and threw dust into the air as he rode off the gravel driveway and took a right onto the county road. Towards Laredo, he drove.
Next part: Coming soon
To clarify, I have actually be working on the next chapter but it seems to have lumped together into one big part with no choice so far, but I will start posting it in parts since it seems to be a very large part, which don't always post well. Anyway, I'll probably post another segment later today. Gonna say... around 6:00 PM central time, if I remember of course. Thanks for reading though!
Edit: To clarify again, I'll post it all at that time (6:00 PM central) if it's done by then. If not I'll post another part of it without a choice.
Edit 2: Edit Harder: I actually finished the next part faster than I expected. Check it out below in case you missed it.
FUCK YEAH
JERRY MOTHERFUCKING STEWART
A shocking turn of events!
Okay! I actually reached the choice faster than I expected, and rather than withholding this new part until 6 PM, I thought I would post it now!
Chapter Four: "A Gone Man" - Part 2
Tension rose as the injured man threatened to tip off the bike with every bump in the road. Danny, having no experience carrying passenger, struggled to keep him upright. Though he managed, this problem pursued Danny for the whole ride until he finally slowed to almost a halt, and then turned onto a gravel driveway.
This house sat under a large green tree, casting a shadow over its front yard. Danny stopped just several feet away from the front door and jumped from the motorcycle. He lifted the unconscious man from the bike and rested him on the cement path leading to the porch.
Danny ran towards it with hurried steps as he banged on the door. “Calvin!” he shouted. “Doctor Calvin?!”
The door flew open and a older-looking man with round glasses poked his head out. “Danny…” he hissed under his breath, “I had heard the shots--” Calvin caught sight of the man on the sidewalk. “Jesus,” Calvin exclaimed as he pushed the door open fully and rushed towards him.
“Calvin… he’s been shot.”
“Yes, yes, I can fucking tell.” Calvin bit his lip as he inspected the wound on the man’s head. Following with the many cuts across his hands, sides and back. “He’s still breathing… bleeding, too… he’s lost a lot of blood,” Calvin determined. He then felt around the back of the man’s head for an exit wound. Running his hands through the man’s blood-soaked hair. “This… It’s related to the shots?”
“I… I believe so.” Danny shook his head with a disheartened expression. “There were two more… A woman… she’s dead... but the other man seemed alright… physically. I didn’t like him…”
Calvin raised an eyebrow. “Other?” He cringed slightly as he felt a small hole, at a different angle than he had originally expect, near the top of his head. “I’m no neurosurgeon, though I think it passed through his frontal lobe, but I’m not sure.”
Danny narrowed his eyes at the slow and inconsistent fluttering of the man’s eyelids. “Is he coming to?” Danny questioned, getting a little closer.
“He’s in shock; drifting in and out of consciousness,” Calvin hastily explained. “Help me get him inside and I’ll what I can do to stop the bleeding!”
Danny nodded and grabbed the man under the shoulders, and lifted as Calvin hoisted his legs and slung them between his armpits. Once inside, Calvin gestured towards the coffee table with a tilt of his head, and they lowered him onto the table.
Calvin quickly darted to a back hallway in a hurry. “Go to the bathroom and get some towels!” he ordered Danny.
Danny came running back into the room with an armful of towels and washcloths as he happened upon the man attempting to look around the room. “Wh-where…” he mumbled inaudibly. “Wh-where… are… they?”
“Who?” Danny asked as he crudely tossed the towels into the nearby sofa. “Who are you talking about?”
“We were... going... to Laredo,” he mumbled once again. “F-fucking… fucks… following...” The man seemed to tire and attempted to relax is head on the hard wood table. His eyes narrow and squinting, probably due to the blood in his eyes; his blood.
Calvin reentered the room with an armful of equipment and set it in the room orderly, more unlike Danny’s pile of unfolded towels. Calvin's eyes widened. “He’s… Is he talking?” Calvin questioned as he began unpacking some of the equipment.
“Yeah, he said… ‘Where are they? We were going to Laredo. Fucking fucks following’,” Danny repeated. “You don’t think he’s talking about people from his group?”
“Depends.” Calvin stepped away from his pile of equipment and placed his bloody hand on his forehead to try to massage some sense into himself, only to retract it with a slightly disgusted expression.
“Is he saying something?” Danny called to Calvin, who turned away from his equipment to find the man moving his lips slightly, but only a whisper. Calvin and Danny stood over him as he continued to mumble something incoherent.
“Can. You. Understand. Us?” Calvin mouthed with an urgent annoyance in his tone.
The man paused for a second before slow and painfully nodded. Calvin breathed a sigh of relief as he thought of what to ask. “What. Is. Your. Blood. Type?”
He slowly mouthed the words before actual words come out. “O… O-positive,” he struggled to answer.
Calvin nodded with a smile until it faded with the sudden revelation. “I’m A-positive,” Calvin admitted disappointedly. “Danny?” he looked at him for hope.
He could find none as Danny answered, “I… I don’t fucking know.” Calvin bit his lip frustratedly. “What about your… other aquaquanence?”
“I don’t know… I said I’d pick him up anyway, you want me to ask?” Danny narrowed his eyes to the outside window as what looked like a walker’s silhouette walk past. “Was that…” Danny trailed off and immediately shot his vision towards the open door.
“Jesus! Danny, shut the door!” Calvin exclaimed as Danny himself rushed to the knob and closed it to hear the familiar click. “Danny… there’s no telling how many of the dead ones those people attracted with their gunfire. If you’re going to pick this guy up, watch your back carefully.”
“Yeah, I will,” Danny muttered with his back to the door. “And you’re going to start…” he trailed off as Calvin nodded instantly.
“I’m gonna try to start the bleeding. Stitching and all that.” Calvin’s expression grew disheartening. “But if we can’t find a blood-donor something fast, we’ll going to have a dead guy on our hands…”
“No one likes the dead ones,” Danny mumbled under his breath. “You think he’ll come back with this kind of… brain trauma?” he spoke up with a question.
“I don’t know, and quite frankly, we don’t have time to talk about it. Go find this guy you mentioned, and… I guess, bring him here.” He narrowed his eyes with an angry disappointment. “The world’s gone through the shitter, make sure he’s... not a part of that, completely, at least.”
Danny narrowed his eyes in turn. “What do you…” he stopped as Calvin rolled his eyes. “Make sure he isn’t a fucking psychopath!” Calvin shouted with annoyance.
Danny sighed, understanding his impatience, he nodded. “I’ll go pick him up. But there’s one more thing…” Calvin looked Danny in the eye as he continued. “This guy’s group… him,” he pointed to the man on the table, “they went into Laredo.”
Calvin made a face of discomfort. “Laredo,” he mouthed. “If you want to look around a bit, go right ahead, but watch your back and don’t follow them across the water. The bridges are all blocked off, I doubt they could try others means across.”
“You fucking swim across that shit?” Danny’s curled in disgust. He shook his head. “I’ll try to find them if I can, after I bring Trevor back, that’s the guy’s name.”
“Trevor,” Calvin rolled the name off his tongue with relative ease. “Bring him here and make sure to ask for his blood-type; if he’s a match… well, this guy will have some actual hope.”
There was a sight bang on the door and their attention turned to it. “I’ll be back soon,” Danny hurried himself as he pulled his knife and prepared to open the door.
“And Danny,” Calvin caught his attention once more, “watch out for the people who did this.” He gestured to the bullet wound on Jerry’s head while he shook his own. “How far we’ve fallen…” he mumbled under his breath.
Danny nodded and pulled the door open and to his surprise it wasn’t one of the dead greeting him. In fact it was Trevor. Danny lowered his pocket, only slightly as Trevor eyed up the house and the man.
“A-ah, Trevor…” Danny stuttered, somewhat surprised by his appearance. “I was just on way out the door…” Danny quickly and defensively added.
“Yeah, lucky you, I’m a fast walker.” Trevor paused and glanced towards the man in the center of the room, standing over the injured man. “And you are?” Trevor held his hand up slightly as he gestured to the doctor. “Calvin.”
“Listen,” Danny narrowed his eyes, “Trevor,” the words rolled off his tongue with slight distrust as he continued, “what’s your blood-type?”
“Hell if I know,” Trevor replied as he stepped past Danny and inside the house. “You planning do some blood transfusion, or something?”
“Hopefully,” Calvin answered. “Danny, it’s best if you go onto Laredo… maybe you can find them. It’s our only shot at getting him some blood in him.”
Danny nodded and stepped out the door as he heard Calvin speaking with Trevor, “you know how to sew, right?”
He made his way towards Laredo on his motorcycle. The city, which stunk of rotting garbage, and trash spread about the streets. It was a smaller city than most, but residing at the border, it was hit hard when it all started.
All residing ‘safe’-zones barely had a chance; the border control stationed there gave up their protection of the state border and let people attempting to escape from mexico entered the state. Safe-zones were overcrowded and undersupplied.
Chaos ensued, like always. Now, weeks later, it was nothing more than a memory to Danny. A horrific memory that overpowered any achievement and made him feel sick at the thought.
As Danny turned onto a street he heard the sound of a vehicle somewhere nearby. Quickly and quietly, he hopped off his motorcycle and pushed it towards a wall of bushes, and forced himself inside of them with his bike.
He watched as a large truck rolled past the brushes and left the street, taking a right from direction Danny come from. He waited patiently and after several minutes the trucks rolled by once again. The meaning look of those inside halted Danny from making himself known. He assumed the injured man’s group would be on the from whoever hurt him, but these people were continually circling the block. Maybe the man’s group was cornered to this block. If so, he had to find them quickly and while remaining out of sight.
Out of sight, out of mind. The truck rolled past once more and as it turned the corner the third time, Danny emerged from the bushes, but the thought of it it certainly prevailed, as it should.
Once sure the truck had rounded the second corner he rounded the first himself and pushed his motorcycle beside him as he ran.
“Get inside!” a man hissed from one of the houses as he turned to see a man holding open a door.
Danny nodded as he pushed his bike through the door first and had it closed behind himself as he stood in the house with two people currently in view. One drew their pistol and had it pointed at Danny’s head in seconds.
“Shit,” Danny muttered as he raised his hands in the air and backed towards the door.
“You’re not with Zafir,” the man who drew their pistol hissed. “You would know,” the other, who was a woman muttered. The man shot a hurt look towards her before facing Danny again. “Let’s with names and intentions.”
“Danny… Ah, I, fuck, ah... Good intentions. Good intentions,” he almost shouted. He breath a sigh of relief as the man lowered their pistol, though still kept it by their side.
“Okay, Danny, I’m Jake, this is Josephine. Now, what are your intentions? Why are you here? Did you see the-” he began but paused as Danny nodded fiercely.
“The truck? They’re the ones that hurt your friend, right?” Danny questioned.
The man nodded with narrowed eyes. “Yeah… What the fuck do you know about this? Speak up now.”
“We have your friend - a doctor who’s a friend of mine - at a house just outside the city. He’s hurt badly… but he was alive, when I left at least.” Danny watched as the woman introduced to him as Josephine eyes widened.
“He’s alive?” she mumbled with a hint of uncertainty.
“He’s barely holding on, if that’s what you mean. The doctor - a guy named Calvin - needs someone with O-positive blood to perform a blood transfor. Your guy seriously needs it; he’s lost a lot.”
“He isn’t the only one,” the voice of another woman carried from the living room and she stepped inside the hallway.
Jake bit his lip and nodded regretfully. He gestured to the woman with his hand. “Atlanta, Danny. Danny, Atlanta.”
Danny raised his hand and waved slightly. “You have some injured as well? We gotta get back to the house as soon as we can then.”
“Yeah, Ashley got shot up pretty bad back at the farmhouse. We’ve done all we can to stop the bleed with some bandages we found here, but she’s also in need of a doctor.” Jake turned his attention to a door a the other end of the hallway. Danny followed his eyes to it.
“Is that back door?” Danny smiled with a hopeful expression. Jake nodded. “We have our… stolen truck hidden back in an alleyway.
“That makes getting out of here easier…” Danny muttered as he turned to his motorcycle propped out against the wall. “You’ll want me to drive, right? Since I know the way.”
“I suppose,” Jake said. He turned to the front door and shook his head. “We can’t risk getting followed by Zafir. We gotta play it safe…”
“How about a distraction?” Danny suggested.
Jake crossed his arms. “It sounds risky.” His eyes turned to Josephine's and he shook his head as he returned to Danny. “You’ll take the truck and drive them to your doctor friend’s house. Since we can’t allow Zafir to find us there… I’ll take your motorcycle and lead them away just to be absolutely sure it’s safe there. Anyone disagree?”
Josephine lowered her eyebrows with a frown before coming around and nodding in agreeance. “Fine, but…” she paused and bit her lip. “Don’t get shot.”
Jake had trouble figuring out whether it was a tone of concern or of some sick sarcasm. He choose to take it as a complement and smirked slightly. “Atlanta?”
She reluctantly nodded as well, but stayed silent.
“We good then?” Jake muttered. “What’s your say in it, Danny? Your opinion and mine carry the most weight.”
[“Agreed.”]
[“On second thought... it seems too risky and unnecessary.”]
Great to see Jerry M.F. Stewart still alive. I had the strong suspicion that this would be the case. Though I'm still concerned about his state, as there could be long-term consequences coming out of it.
Less enthusiastic about Trevor being still alive. I was surprised that he died before even appearing once, but I have a bad, bad feeling about him. He gives me very creepy vibes.
[“Agreed.”]
This is excellent. Jerry is holding on. He will survive. Anyway, this is minor tidbit, but you refer to 'Jerry's head' as Danny before he even knows who Jerry is.
Otherwise,
hmmm now where does that sound familiar?
["Agreed."]
2 parts in a row? This is great
First of all, Danny and Calvin are cool guys and I am glad they were the ones to encounter Jerry. And since he is still able to speak and understand sentences, there might be not all hope lost for him.
Second, Trevor gives me even more bad vibes now. I'm calling it now, he could indeed be kidnapper-sonofabitch #3, which is horrible, considering that he is likely going to meet up with Josephine soon. I hope that being with the group will keep her somewhat safe from that bastard. Though, even if he is not #3, he is creepy and I do not trust him at all. After all, he's still part of Zafir's sonofabitch-brigade. Damn it, they need to get rid of that guy soon, before he can try to do anything to her
[“Agreed.”]
The plan itself is not bad, I hope it works. However, I hope that Jake won't die as a result of it. He is a really great guy, definitely one of my favourites currently.
Okay, I'm thoroughly thrilled, perplexed, and scared of Jerry's recovery.... He remembers his group, so he must be able to remember the past... He can speak, kinda, But It's still good for someone who got shot in the flippin' head. But what scares me, is that he doesn't move. I didn't see anything saying he moved, or at least I don't remember. But Ashley is also shot and bleeding. You didn't specify where and how many times she was shot, so it kinda worries me...
But seriously man, Great part!!!!
["Agreed."] We don't have time to sit around and make plans. We need to act now and think of consequence later if we have any chance of saving Jerry M.F. Stewart, and Ashley.
Must have missed, sorry!
Anyway, thanks and all, but you should understand Jerry ain't out of the woods yet.
<.<
.>.>
[“Agreed.”]
[“Agreed.”]
My God, must this forum always unfollow me from this awesome story? I keep forgetting about it, and I am reminded when I see your profile picture somewhere in my feed, "Oh shit! I forgot about Hope's story/stories! Pesky forum unfollowing me again."
Really, I'm sorry for this. It isn't my fault... well, maybe it is, because I'm also forgetting that new parts are being released, despite how much I love the story. ;-;
[“Agreed.”]
[“Agreed.”]
I got to say, Trevor is really a creeper. I hope they get rid of him before he does something bad.
I can't tell you how much I agree with you on that
[Agreed]
Hai Hope! Sorry i havbt voted for awhile
ive been on break, real happy to read your stories again 
So... I'm updating here too. I've been busy, I'm not sure when this will continue, but it will. My attention has been on a third writing project centered around a post-apocalyptic event. This is something I'm going to attempt to self-publish. I'll hopefully have more news for Monument, but it's looking like I'll be spending my time on this for a bit. I hope everyone understands. I am sorry. Still, this isn't canceled. It will continue in time.
Hope everything works out for you! Good luck
Thank you! I really do appreciate it
So, I wanted to ask what you thought of this idea: The way comments work on the forum is not ideal for writing, and since I want to improve my writing while properly formatting everything, I think it would be best to use something else than the actual forum. Now, before I say more about this, I'd like to explain it. I would use Google Documents to write up the part (as I usually do) and format it like an actual book, which I need to start working on. I would post the link to view it here. These links would take you to an online viewer, which is Google Documents itself. All in all, it should be an improvement, but I don't want to start using this if it's an inconvenience to anyone.
So, please, tell me what you think, if this would work for you and ask whatever questions you'd like to ask.
If you think that this will improve the story in some way, I think you should give it a try. Personally, I prefer the forum for reading the story, although this is likely just because I am more used to it. In time I should get used to read it in google docs too. And well, there are certainly worse ways of reading something online. Undeniably, the forum has a few downsides when it comes to writing stories. The post-length limit might be the most severe downside here, but I'm sure there are other downsides as well. Though, how would you handle the voting? Would we still vote as an answer to your post here in the thread? I would greatly prefer such a solution, as I am not a big fan of stuff like strawpoll when it comes to voting. Other than that, I think this sounds like an interesting idea that should be worth a try.
If you think it would help your writing, then by all means do it. I would still like to read it, although I am used to the forums.
I'm working on the new part. I'm also likely going to abandon the idea I had to use google docs for writing, as it seems rather pointless. Anyway, you should seriously fear what will happen to Jerry now. With the injury he sustain, he could very well be in a vegetable-like state. Then again, that would be a little boring, but it would also pose some very difficult choices. Enough of that depressing subject. I'm sure he'll be fine.
Unto a new depressing subject! I've just been... just occupying myself. I don't know how to explain it. I've just been... here. Not doing much. It seems to me this isn't a good way to spend my time. So, I'm going to return to writing for both my stories as soon as I can write up a part for either. Though on a more positive note, like I said, I'm working on the next part for this. It'll be finished when I see fit, since I don't want to throw in a choice just to split up the part. Though I guess we'll see.
I want to thank all of you who have taken time out of there day to read this. It means a lot, honestly. I'm sorry I haven't given the same attention to those of you who have stories here. It feels like I'm not even trying to keep up with some of your works, and I feel like an asshat for that. I can't promise I'll be keeping up anymore than I am now, but just know I love your stories. They're great! Anyway, have a great afternoon (or night, I suppose, for some of you Europeans.) I'm gonna try to work on this new part and we'll see when it's done.
For fuck's shake, I forgot to close the voting. Maybe it doesn't matter now. But hell, why not.
(!) Danny and co. will use the plan and try to escape the patrolling trucks.
You all made a good choice, as if you hadn't chosen this option, it would have lead to another massacre, this time in the alley. And trust me, this time there would have been instant-a-deaths.