What episode would you rewrite?



  • edited May 2017

    Here's a Recap of My Season 2 changes, as I never really organized them. To save on space, I'll just list my overall issue with the episodes and subplot/issue names and you can either scroll back to find the post in question or ask me about them and hopefully, I'll get you back fairly soon.

    In Harm's Way

    This was an astoundingly disappointing follow-up to the previous episode if only because its bare as fuck. The story is that the Cabin and Ski Lodge groups have been captured by Carver and are transported back to his settlement within Howe's Hardware. Faced with the rigorous conditions of their imprisonment, entire days of nothing but forced labour, the dubious credibility of the other prisoners, the varying work ethic of the guards, and the psychopathic tyranny of the cult leader himself, Clementine, Kenny, and Luke must work together so that they may escape this harsh settlement before an approaching walker herd hits it. That's the entire story in a huge nutshell and yes that is a damn shame because it can summed up in two words/sentences or rather an entire genre: jail break. Since the plot is much more detailed than the story itself, I'll talk about each of the major story developments and how each has their problems that I feel need to be tweaked. First of all, notice how I neglected to name 80% of the cast? That's because unless your name is Kenny, Carver, Bonnie, ClementineKenny, Rebecca, or Sarah, then You! Do Not! Matter! And its sad too, cause I think quite a few of those other characters had potential to be something more but either didn't get an oppurtunity to really shine or when they did, another character came running up and photobombed for five minutes.
    Hoo boy, been a while since I improved the weakest episode, eh? Well, this is nothing too serious, unfortunately. I do want to expand on the things hinted at up there, but for now, I'm gonna add in the neat little story arc and plot point titles I did for the last two episodes here.

    • Clementine the Supposed Brute:
    • Taking a Beating:
    • Carver and the Sheep:
    • Best of a Bad Situation:
    • Homewrecked:
    • Sarah's Corruption:
    • “Ralph”/Forgiveness:
    • The Murder of Nick:(Determinant)
    • Nick’s Redemption:(Determinant)
    • Weak of Will:
    • One Long Day/Becca:
    • Kenny and Sarita:
    • George:
    • Orphans:(Determinant)
    • Two Degrees of Separation:

    Amid the Ruins

    Believe or not, I believe this could've been a good episode had the characterizations, storytelling, and determinant choices been handled much much better.
    Okay, setting this up now to make up for my own negligence in this thread. Believe it or not, I don't plan on making too many huge changes to the overall plot at the moment. Here's some vague ideas here and there:

    • Nick's Redemption:(Determinate)
    • Sarah's Corruption:
    • Just a Thought:(Determinate)
    • Liabilities:
    • Mike's Regrets:
    • Versatility, Warmth, and Faith:
    • The Sudden Ease:(Determinate)
    • The Russian Ambush:

    No Going Back

    This episode is pretty average to me: unorthodox premise, character centric storytelling, and attempting to wrap the inconsistent story up is at least commendable for the attempt. Ultimately, I believe some of the bigger issues comes from exactly the later: it somewhat fails to be a proper conclusion to the Season as a whole due to the controversial choices made in Amid the Ruins, specifically where Jane is concerned. However, my goal has always been to make the episodes we ended up with work better rather than rewrite the entire thing to my preferences(despite the thread title). So while there's a lot of Arcwelding and Author's Saving Throw involved, the episode itself remains at least 75% the same.
    I'll have to think of anything more.
    Just add in a number of lines addressing these and we're probably good for the moment:

    Nick's death
    Sarah's death
    Arvo's Group
    Jane's hidden empathy/remorse
    Christa and Omid
    Mike's background
    The Russian Group:
    Natasha's Input:
    Sarah's Sacrifice:
    Shoot Rebecca:
    Call for Help:
    Arvo's Opportunity:
    Mercy of a Father:
    Jane's Remorse:
    Mike's Regrets:
    Arvo's Lament:
    Vengeance or Pragmatism:
    The Russian's:

  • Been a while since I've reviewed anything here and I know you in particular have been a pretty devout contributor. Now that ANF is over, I get the feeling this will be very popular, so better set the bait while finally getting to you again. :wink:

    Kenny:Instead of basing the entirety of the decision on if you Killed ben or not i would change it so that the game would check how many times you sided with him on a point system like this: ((To get Kenny to come with you you would need 7 points

    Yeah, was this a big issue? Cause I'm pretty sure you can refuse to kill Ben and Larry and yet still get Kenny to come along.

    Christa and Omid: Same as in the original game

    Yeah, I'm curious: what exactly went into them coming along?

    Lily: Lily will only go with you if you tried to save her dad in starved for help
    Mark: if you killed Larry you would have a mini discussion with him and you would be able to convince him but if you tried to save Larry he will go with you instantly.

    That's how long it's been since I've read this: I completely forgot these two are still present.

    I'll try to catch up on the other stuff as well. Good job, dude! :smile:

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    The walking dead Season 1 Episode 4 rewrite just one thing i forgot I forgot to put in that rewrite how convincing the people in the group

  • Okay, I know it's been a while since anyone's been here and I'm sure you're all dying to contribute your own ideas, but I gotta set some ground rules:

    • Try not to talk about only a single character in a post unless you plan on elaborating on their story arc in an episode with notes hinting as to if/how it will be continued in the next episode(s). I don't want to risk this to become yet another wasted character thread when that's not what this is for, but I'm not saying you can't do it at all if it's necessary for you at the time.
    • Given that ANF is complete now, feel free to talk about it but try to remember to designate what Season/Installment you're talking about in a post. Bold letters at the very top of the post can help.
    • If you're talking about a single episode, try to talk about at least two arcs in it if it's not gonna be very long. However, you don't have to do equally short/long passages; I just want to encourage some decent productivity.
    • Try not to discuss multiple seasons/installments in a post since that can get pretty confusing. Only do so if it involves a common plot point or whatever that's relevant.
    • Be creative! That's not really a rule so much as a pep talk type of thing...except really short. ....Yeah, I got nothing else to say here.

    Have fun otherwise! :grin:

  • edited June 2017

    Season 1- Long Road Ahead
    Even though I liked this episode, I think it's the weakest one from the whole season minus 400 Days. Idk exactly what I'll change about it, but it could approve.

    Season 2- Amid The Ruins
    I thought this episode was going to be very interesting by looking at Clementine from the episode selection screen. I thought they'd run into some cult or something. But what we got was an entire episode filled with pointless choices and weak character deaths. Not to mention no mention of Carver's camp after this.

    New Frontier- From The Gallows
    Definitely the worst episode this season in my opinion. Terrible writing, stupid character deaths, plot holes everywhere, and all the different endings. The only good thing was how Clem's flashback choices played a role in the final choice in the episode. I'd gladly rewrite this episode, and Telltale even did just that but it still turned out terrible.

  • i would rewrite from the gallows. the only things telltale really did well were things that pertained to gabe's character because most things pertaining to him seemed less lazy, unlike characters such as kate. for instance, kate had an offscreen death, and then really her sole purpose this episode was to piss david off. david goes insane and tries to kill you regardless of how you treated him or kate in the past. also, they could've kept another garcia alive, it was really cheap that we were given a whole group and they all die in a matter of like three fucking days. the plot is horrible, it showcases the group trying to get to one place, and then david fights javi. like it's literally so short and provides no closure. characters such as lonnie, max, joan, clint, etc are pushed aside and literally are never mentioned or make an appearance again. clementine's story has no closure, and once again, she's present for fanservice. david's motivations changed this episode as well. after episode four, he was supposed to be tracking down joan/clint because he was fucking pissed due to them trying to fucking kill him. instead, he questions kate's whereabouts, which literally made no sense as she wasn't present at the execution. gabe going after his dad didn't affect anything, as expected. the writers also didn't give you a huge reason to forgive eleanor either, and she just disappears. tripp/ava's deaths were horribly executed. seriously, it's so laughable that i can find so much shit that went wrong this episode when i had a pretty positive and optimistic outlook throughout the course of the season.

  • Episode 5 wasn't that good in regards to Ava and Tripp. It's probably the only part I'd rewrite.

    So instead of Ava dying, there's no car on the road so no worries.

    With Tripp I'd honestly wish he didn't die so shitty, so after David goes on, the helicopter falls a little but not much, so Javi and Tripp have to walk on the propellers. Javi tripps ;) and he grabs a pipe and climbs back up with tripps help.

    Ava or Tripp spreads walker guts on themselves with you.

    Ava goes after David and Gabe with Either Javi, Clem, or no one.

    Tripp goes with Kate with Javi, Clem, or no one.

    If you're with Ava going after Gabe and David and Clem's not with you, she saves David so he doesn't turn. (Basically taking Clem's role) and Clem saves Kate so No one dies.

    If you're with Ava going after Gabe and David and Clem's with you then it gets the ending with Kate dying but Ava's alive.

    If you're with Kate without Clem then everyone lives again because 2 people with Gabe and David and 1 person with Kate.

    If you're with Kate with Clem then (depending on your insteraction with Ava) either Gabe or David dies.

    If you're with Tripp and Kate without Clem, then David dies.

    If you're with Tripp and Kate With Clem, then Gabe and David die.

    If you go after Gabe and David without Clem, then David dies.

    If you go after Gabe and David with Clem, then everyone lives again.

    I couldn't think of more variation so if you can please add on. But this is what should happen if Tripp and Ava didn't get shitty deaths.

  • basically everything past Season 2 Episode 2.

  • That didn't take long, I see. Well, DerpGod, time to pop your rewrite-review cherry! No homo.

    Episode 5 wasn't that good in regards to Ava and Tripp. It's probably the only part I'd rewrite.

    Aw yes, something I should probably think about if I ever get around to it myself.

    So instead of Ava dying, there's no car on the road so no worries.
    With Tripp I'd honestly wish he didn't die so shitty, so after David goes on, the helicopter falls a little but not much, so Javi and Tripp have to walk on the propellers. Javi tripps ;) and he grabs a pipe and climbs back up with tripps help.

    Hm, okay. Funny considering Tripp's death scene felt kinda arbitrary in a different way than usual, but okay. Though the idea of his big ass being able to walk on propellers is a bit weird.
    What about Ava's side of things, though?

    Ava or Tripp spreads walker guts on themselves with you.

    This one is kinda odd considering I think the point was that one person alone would attract the least attention, but I suppose they can be backup in case something goes wrong.

    If you're with Ava going after Gabe and David and Clem's not with you, she saves David so he doesn't turn. (Basically taking Clem's role) and Clem saves Kate so No one dies.

    If you're with Ava going after Gabe and David and Clem's with you then it gets the ending with Kate dying but Ava's alive.

    Wait, so she dies if Javi goes with her by yourself?

    Different combinations
    I couldn't think of more variation so if you can please add on. But this is what should happen if Tripp and Ava didn't get shitty deaths.

    I'm sorry, but I got confused reading that and so I would be commenting much right now to save time.

    Welp, you set out to make them matter and you succeeded. Good job! :smile:

  • Any ideas as to how would you do so?

    I'm not going to judge S3 yet. I want to see where they go with it first. As for the rest: Season 1: Long Road Ahead Season 2: In Harms Way Dem third episodes....

  • THIS!!!

    basically everything past Season 2 Episode 2.

  • I know, right? Still, I give them credit for what they did okay.

    basically everything past Season 2 Episode 2.

  • edited June 2017

    So instead of Ava dying, there's no car on the road so no worries.

    With Tripp I'd honestly wish he didn't die so shitty, so after David goes on, the helicopter falls a little but not much, so Javi and Tripp have to walk on the propellers. Javi tripps ;) and he grabs a pipe and climbs back up with tripps help.

    Hm, okay. Funny considering Tripp's death scene felt kinda arbitrary in a different way than usual, but okay. Though the idea of his big ass being able to walk on propellers is a bit weird. What about Ava's side of things, though?

    Ava would do the same thing as Tripp.

    If you're with Ava going after Gabe and David and Clem's not with you, she saves David so he doesn't turn. (Basically taking Clem's role) and Clem saves Kate so No one dies.

    If you're with Ava going after Gabe and David and Clem's with you then it gets the ending with Kate dying but Ava's alive.

    Wait, so she dies if Javi goes with her by yourself?

    I don't understand what you meant, but if no body's with Kate she dies, if that's what you meant.

    Different combinations

    I couldn't think of more variation so if you can please add on. But this is what should happen if Tripp and Ava didn't get shitty deaths.

    I'm sorry, but I got confused reading that and so I would be commenting much right now to save time.

    What I meant is if other people have combination ideas, then they should add onto the ending variations.

    DabigRG posted: »

    That didn't take long, I see. Well, DerpGod, time to pop your rewrite-review cherry! No homo. Episode 5 wasn't that good in regards to

  • Damn it, I edited it but it was still messed up.

    TheDerpGod posted: »

    So instead of Ava dying, there's no car on the road so no worries. With Tripp I'd honestly wish he didn't die so shitty, so after Da

  • Huh. Funny this is probably the first in line that I've been neglecting, all things considered. Well, no time like the present--Review Time!

    The flashback starts with Clem ,Jane and ((Determinantly)) the Family fixing some things in Howe s and you get a Hub to talk to everyone .

    Like that change already.

    You still get the surname thing with AJ.

    Actually, it was the middle name. Otherwise, Rebecca would be a weird last name.

    as you re finishing Fixing a board at Howe s you hear the gate being open and you notice the Family s not there anymore. Tavia enters with the family and ((Determinantly)) people from 400 days.
    Clem and Jane get into a gun fight with Tavia and the others.

    Huh. Interesting fusion of two common plot points there.

    Clem gets chased by Tavia.
    You will get a QTE sequence like in the first episode of season 2 where you re chased by Tavia instead.
    But at some point Tavia grabs you and you manage to escape her Grip grab her Gun and Kill her. AJ had fallen from your hands from your hands When tavia grabbed Clem but no big wounds happened from the fall .

    Uh, any particular reason she wanted to catch Clementine there, considering she has a gun and all?

    After that you go Looking For Jane and you find a pool of Blood ,the gun that Jane was using and the Molly clone s dead body then the Screen fades to black.

    Mood whiplash! Seriously though, nice one, even if it's a blunt way to end.

    Good job!

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    BONUS ROUND! Jane s New frontier Flashback rewrite. The flashback starts with Clem ,Jane and ((Determinantly)) the Family fixing some thin

  • To be fair, her death needed the effort to make sure, while those two more or less being dangerous on their own served as a decent excuse. It just so happens that Jane capitalized on that.

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    And also for some reason Edith gets a better written death than Kenny and jane

  • edited June 2017

    All that Remains...is for me to finally get to this. And all the other stuff.

    The episode opens up like in the original but with Ben and Brie Being there.

    Aw yeah, that was you. Okay then.
    Also, if you can give me a brief recap of what's carrying over to this epiode from Season 1 and how it got there, that'd be nice. It's been a while and going back to read through these things can get boring--no offense!

    When you enter the Bathroom and Brie s with you you can talk to her and Get some more exposition on her character and Ask why she dint go With Vernon.

    Neat. I don't remember if you explained that previously, but Clementine would need to know.

    ((Not sure how i would incorporate Michelle into this so im just gonna go to the 16 year time skip))

    I was just about to ask that--Aw! Moving on...

    They re cooking that weasel/rabbit/whatever it was. And Omid s making a couple of jokes to lighten up the Mood while Brie keeps watch and Christa tends to the fire. If Ben s there he s gonna talk about how he doesnt get any of the jokes.

    Weasel. And oh yeah--no Michelle at the beginning means no dead Omid. ...Yet.:smiling_imp:
    Nice touch with Ben, too!

    Christa then goes to look for Wood the Bandits attack and Omid makes a distraction So that Clem, Ben and Brie can run away .
    Clem and Ben get separated from Brie and end up falling in the river.

    They were Scavengers, but might as well be the same thing without the tweeked-up rape part.
    And poor Brie, all on her own. I'll hold the page for her if she's comes up later.

    They wake up find Sam the dog and get to the Camp where Sam s owners died.
    you then get the same Hub from episode 1 but with the addition that you can talk to Ben about what happened with the bandits .
    Sam doesnt bite Clem because Ben puts Sam s food on another plate.

    You know, I'm so used to these sweeping changes that I forget that how some determinant characters would realistically work when reading these.

    Luke and Pete appear to save Clem and Ben.
    When you get to the house Luke has some dialogue about how its been a long time since he saw a dog and he starts Playng with Sam.
    You get a hub to talk with everyone in the cabin group .

    Did you do two versions of this because I feel like I did remember reading this part, for some reason?
    Anyway, no guaranteed should be a notable change, so good one.

    If you give him Water he tells you about how Carver Doublecrossed their group and Killed several of their people and took some of them as prisoners before dyng.

    Aw yes, some proper setup for payoff that we probably should've gotten anyway.

    The walkers come and you get to pick between Nick and Pete but Ben s right next to pete and kills the walker that tries to bite Pete you then get a choice to follow Either Pete and Ben or Nick. Then the episode ends

    Kind of an odd choice this one, given the point is you're stuck alone with the one you chose and one of them is bitten, but I suppose I'll have to wait to see how you handle it.

    Good job, dude!

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    Now for a rewrite of All that Remains: The episode opens up like in the original but with Ben and Brie Being there. When you get to the b

  • Not sure I should bother with this one if you've been gone long, but might as well in case you're watching from beyond.

    I'd rewrite this seasons (A New Frontier) first episode and have it incorporate both Javier and Clementine as the main protagonists to the story and have them switch every so often. It would be way longer, since it's the premier maybe about 2 hours in one episode.

    Okay. Give us what we thought we'd get.

    I would NOT do the Clementine in flashbacks thing. If I wanted the viewers to know what happened to Clementine I'd just have Clementine explain it so Mariana. Mariana would notice Clem is a young girl and would wonder how she survived so long by herself, and Clem would tell her what happened with her and A.J.

    Oh. That's a notable change, but I'll see what you do with it. Eventually. Maybe.

    I'd also have A.J. with Clementine instead of wherever the hell he is now because he was kind of a big deal in the second season, and a lot of people wondered what happened to him and Clem at the end of Season 2.

    Oh. ...That's a huge change.

    Instead of doing flashbacks with Clem, I would do them with Javier so we could find out more about him.

    Yeah, I think this probably would've been for the best given we're playing as him.

    I would not have killed Mariana that damn early in the game. if she were to die, I would kill her in a more tragic way since she is such a likable character, but near the end of the season. Shock deaths are okay, but they don't mean anything if I don't know anything about the damn character.

    I guess that is a good way to think.

    Well, I see you're blunt, yet concise with this. Good job! :smile:

    Hope you can give your thoughts on the later stuff one day!

    I am not good at writing but I can tell you the things I would have done different. I don't remember which episode is which so, I am just go

  • K.

    Ties that Big part one. I want to make Jane and Kenny unknown, not dead. Also, keep Mariana! Kill Gabe if you want to murder children, not little cute Mariana!

  • I did fully read this and I was halfway through a review, but one wrong button press screwed it up, so I''ll just list things.

    1. Beard: I had a similar thought once.
    2. Fishing: Nice setting. I like how Clementine had to make rods here. But where's AJ?
    3. Motor boat Choice:Oh...dang. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.
    4. Scavenging Choice:That is definitely the wiser option. Maybe a bit too wise for Kenny, but whatever.
    5. Savior Territory: Don't read the comics, but I assume it's that Nega guy's group.
    6. Bandits vs. Scavengers: Not bad, Kenny. Nice cliffhanger.

    Good job! :smile:

  • Interesting. That actually goes well with how I hoped he'd die.

    Domi_nique posted: »

    I'd rewrite the flashbacks in Season 3. Everything else is fine to me so far. Kenny's flashback was horrific. There are dozens of ways to

  • Okay, Welling Flashback Review Go!

    Clem grabs a gun and goes to help fight them off you get a QTE section were you and Edith Meet up With Wellington s Leader let s call him Leo cause why not?

    Ah yes, not going out without a fight, eh? I suppose that is a neat way to make it longer and have gameplay.

    you have something like the shootout scene from episode 3 of season 1 after some time they notice that they re being overwhelmed and Clem ,Edith and Leo go back to get supplies and escape. You will then get the same thing as the original flashback where you grab the supplies .

    after they start Running away the same guy from the flashback starts shooting at them but instead of Edith getting shot in the head she gets a bullet in heer Arm causing her to Drop AJ and you get a QTE event to run thought the bullets as Clem and Grab AJ Clem then gets the Scar as she grabs AJ and Runs With Edith and Leo.
    ((BTW Leo would be a tall guy with Glasses, Black hair and would be usually a calm guy))

    I suspect you have plans for this guy given this much detail and importance. Guess I'll have to wait N see..

    Good job! :smile:

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    The walking dead New frontier Wellington flashback: The flashback starts the same way up until when Edith warns Clem that there s the group

  • ANF1 Review:

    After you shoot or let the random guy go Depending on if you played Clem as a Nice person in season 2 or not she will either React badly and threaten to shoot him or just be the way she is in New frontier .

    I assume you mean Rufus. And yes, her characterization should've actually depended on previous Seasons.

    When you enter the Bar in Prescott before you talk to the people on poker you can also talk to Clem s ´´Friend´´ who s drinking quite alot and telling a story about how he and a friend of his did that together on a Summer but that his friend was dead. ((You known what im not gonna keep playng the pronoun game its Freaking Luke Ok? He survives because in this version he would have survived because they went around the Lake instead of just passing thought the ice

    Woah, Spoiler alert! Who ever would've guessed Luke would become a drunk.

    Both Javier and Luke hear the mess that is going on with Clem.
    there s a QTE event when the guy pulls his knife out where if you re too slow Luke will intervene and take his Knife off him.

    A tag team effort, eh? Neat.

    Clem and Luke ending ((Variation of the Alone ending))
    Clem and luke are hunting for supplies for supplies when AJ yells and Clem and Luke leave him in the car.
    Luke asks which one of them should go Hunting and which one should stay to watch AJ

    Interesting. Let's see the alternative choices:

    Luke goes: The walkers come and you have a brief QTE where you Kill the walkers that are the closest to Clem and Clem calls for Luke who Comes to help her. Clem tries to Grab AJ from the car but Luke Walks a little back because the zombie was too Close to him and He accidentally closes the door on Clem s finger.

    Oh, kind of a booboo there, eh?

    Clem goes: Mostly the same but you hear Luke yelling in this version.


    Clem ,Kenny and Luke: the same thing happens than in the normal flashback but after Kenny gets shot out of the vehicle Luke tells Clem to cover him while he Grabs Kenny ((If you do this ending you will see Kenny on prescott with one of his Legs still recovering and Drinking with Luke))

    Suddenly Kenny! Neat detail though by having him be Luke's drinking buddy.

    Clem, Luke and Jane: after Clem checks the perimeter she will see that Luke had Jane tied up because he stopped her suicide atttempt (the baby dies on birth )) ((Jane s with Clem when she gets the drop on javier if she s alive))

    Suddenly Jane! Damn Luke, BDSM is killer! ...I'm sorry.
    Makes sense to have Jane along for the ride there.

    i dont known what to put for the wellington ending.


    When Mariana grabs the headphones Kate sees the guy from New frontier lining up his shot and Pushes mariana out of the way and takes the shot for her. Mariana tries to grab Kate but Gets the same Wound as Kate and you get the choice to go with Javier s family or stay to fight the New frontier off With Luke and Clem.

    I was gonna say nice save until Mariana got herself shot anyway. Kinda redundant tbh, but we'll see where this goes after the point where the episode become too big. :wink:

    Good job!

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    The walking dead a New frontier Ties that Bind part 1 Rewrite: im not gonna change anything up until the meeting with Clem. After you sh

  • Yeah, you should probably space things out a little more to make it easier for others to read through.

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    Essentially every rewrite i make results in a wall of text lol.

  • Back to Season 2, eh? Bit whiplashy between dates, but at least you're ambitious.

    The episode opens up the same way as normal but if Ben was saved in season 1 Pete will not be bitten because Ben killed the walker that tried to bite Pete.

    Yeah, I'm still a little shaky with that, but we'll have to see what you do, now won't we?

    the scenes With Nick are the same except the reason why he starts drinking is because he just doesnt have anything to do and he doesnt have enough patience to wait.

    Makes sense since he apparently doesn't mind eating out of Walter's bowl, the nasty.

    Differently from the normal game when you and the character your with ((Pete or Nick)) try to leave the spot they re hiding in they actually escape and get to the Cabin.

    When you get to the Cabin the same thing happens but Pete/Nick accompany Rebecca and Carlos to find the others.

    Now if Ben s with Nick: You find both of them the same way because they both got drunk from the whiskey ((I got this from the thing with Ben wanting to drink from Kenny s whiskey/Beer bottle from episode 4 in season 1))

    Ah, so Ben did go with the person you didn't pick. Good to know.
    Oh yeah, I do remember that. :lol:

    If Ben s with Pete: Ben will talk about how they tried to escape together but had to go back to the car because when they tried to leave there were still several walkers and Ben almost got bit by one but was Saved by Pete.

    while you re walking after picking Pete or Nick
    Well, that would've sucked. Or been an interesting spin on how things went. Either way is fine.

    while you re walking after picking Pete or Nick
    you get a choice of who to talk to:
    Ben, Sarah, Nick ,Luke or Pete.

    Ah yes, an unorthodox hub section essentially. Good idea!

    Sarah just talks about what happened in the Cabin and how she was scared when Carver showed up and ((determinantly)) Thanks Clementine for teaching her how to shoot ((While whispering of course so Carlos doesnt hear her))

    Thank you! The fact that you spend an entire scene alone with her that has you make several choices for/against her and don't get the chance to reflect on it in the hubs areas was just stupid/lazy design.

    Pete talks about the time before the apocalypse where he was an Officer on the Military.

    You know what's funny about that: the wikia never mentions it. I'm not sure if they just overlooked it, but I swear I remember that being established somewhere.

    Nick just tells the story about how his mother died if you did not pick him but if you picked him he talks about how he s happy that Pete s okay.

    Yeah, I think that is a weird detail in the game: I'm pretty sure it's possible for Nick to tell you the same story twice.

    Now for the bridge scene you can call for backup either:
    Pete, Ben or Nick to go with Clem and Luke.


    Pete: Starts to Line a shot but lowers it due to noticing that he s not a threat.

    Sounds about right.

    Ben: Tries to threaten Matthew but his finger slips and ends up shooting Matthew in the arm which earns him a couple of hatred towards him by Matthew in later parts of the episode.

    Oh shit.... Good ol shitbird.

    Nick: Nick threatens Matthew and almost shoots but stops after realizing he s not a threat ((Since pete s still alive he s not as on edge as he is in the normal episode 2))


    They then climb to the mountain and Meet Kenny , ((Determinantly)) >Carley and also Lily.

    Holy shit...Season 1 invasion in progress.
    Again, if you recap why they'd be here too, that'd be nice.

    Ben will be helping Walter in Cooking Dinner.
    Matthew will be talking to Sarah about Books.
    Sarita will be decorating the tree
    Carley is talking to Lily.

    Ben cooking, eh? Not sure if that'll make it worse or better. :lol:
    Neeeerds! Also, a little sad since I liked the bonding between the two Princesses. I'll let you figure that out.

    Lily, Luke and Kenny go to check on the transformer.

    Not sure if that'll

    Carley s the one who saves Clem when she Runs out of Bullets ((If you saved Doug instead of Carley the one who saves you is Carlos. ))

    Nice touch.

    When Carver s group arrives there s an extra member from 400 days with him. The priority for the character that appears is:
    Wyatt first, Then Russel then vince.

    Anything determining who you'd get?
    Extra points for making Wyatt the first up to chop, though.

    Kenny and Lily fire 2 bullets one that Kills Johnny and another that Kills the 400 days member that went with Carver ((If you did not get anyone to go with Carver in 400 days Kenny misses his shot and ends up shooting Bonnie s arm))

    Ow! Well that can't possibly backfire later....

    and that he s gonna pick one of them at random to kill. ((And yes i essentially just copied the concept of what Negan does into this scene problem?))

    I don't watch the show, but I definitely know about that scene.
    ...But yes, problem. :joy: jk

    Carver then starts ini mini moing Clem s group and If ben s alive it lands on him and Carver shoots him resulting In Clem yelling angrily at Carver but if Ben s dead it lands on Clementine but When Carver s about to Shoot carley jumps in the middle of shot and takes the shot For clem which ends up with Carley dying.


    Kenny and Lily surpprender and the episode ends with Clem Cryng while looking at Ben or Carley s corpse and she is then dragged off By someone from Carver s group ending the episode as the screen Fades to black.

    Again, did you post this before or did I just read it before and just never reviewed it?

    Knocking out of the park, though. Just when I was thinking there were a lot of people living, Carver makes em drop like flies.
    Good job!:smile:

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    now for the season 2 Episode 2 Rewrite . The episode opens up the same way as normal but if Ben was saved in season 1 Pete will not be bitt

  • edited June 2017

    S2 Ep3 In Harm's Way

    I think this is where the Season truly fell apart. I had issues before with how, for example, the game didn't let us get to know the cabin group at all (compare to the S1 where we always got a hub when we met new people) but I could look past it because they were setting up Carver and his camp in a highly fascinating way. There were obviously things we didn't know about the cabin group. Maybe Carver's camp would be the place where secrets are revealed and true character development happens. Pffft... right. In the end the episode felt more like a speed bump which achieved nothing except get some characters killed.

    Carver turned out to be another cardboard cut out villain with the same tired "strong vs weak" agenda. Little to no redeeming qualities, none of the charm I witnessed earlier and I failed to see why he was called smart. I'd except someone smart to be more manipulative, something akin to the Crooked Man from TWAU who certainly had a way with words. The worst thing is that Carver had no impact on Clementine's character development. Sure he made this stupid effort to bond with her by stating how they are the same but, thanks to how he had been presented during the episode, NONE of the things he said convinced me to even think about his POV. I was more like "The fuck you talking about dude? Stop wasting time telling me this bs."

    There were other problems as well. Like Nick becoming a ghost who had nothing interesting to do/say (compare to Carley/Doug, Ben) and the whole Kenny vs Luke mess which caused inconsistencies in the characterization of Luke. Earlier Luke insisted Clem to come with him to the bridge since she's a very "valuable little girl". He also made her talk to the stranger (Matthew), climb up to the tower and wanted her to steal him a walkie talkie. However, when it came time for her to sneak into Carver's office to meddle with the sound system, Luke suddenly went: "Wait! THAT'S the plan?" Er... haven't you been the one who believes Clementine can handle herself? It's like in that moment they just wanted him to conflict with Kenny and thus ended up ignoring his previous traits.
    This is also when they started to pay more attention to Kenny than any of the cabin group. Like all that buildup about their past under Carver's rule amounted to nothing.
    I just feel like they missed a lot of the potential that could have been utilized in this setting.

    So yeah... what I'd fix:

    • Make Carver more like an intelligent, manipulative villain capable of making his POV sound valid and less like a one-dimensional jackass throwing a fit over berries.
    • Give the Cabin group actual development.
    • Have this whole trip to Carver's fun-house have some ACTUAL impact on Clementine.
    • Basically: Utilize the setting to its' fullest! Don't rush through it. Heck, they got into the camp and escaped during the same episode. There's so much that could have been done in this setting. Maybe even give 400 Days characters more to do than just have cheap cameos.
  • edited June 2017

    ok since everyone seems to be Rewriting in Harm s way why not try my hand at it too?
    Firstly i would have put the 400 days survivors to be with Clem so you get to known them more while still attempting to escape Howe s .
    For example Wyatt would be the one watching over Kenny and Mike during their argument.
    Wyatt saves Clem s life and unlike Troy who just talks like Clem s a hindrance he s more understanding and checks if she s okay while telling her to be more careful.
    Reggie would be Determinant if you Take the blame for him during the scene with Sarah and him with the Berries ((Carver would force Reggie to slap Clementine holding him at gunpoint if he doesnt.))
    During the scene where Kenny gets his shit beaten out of him by Carver the 400 days survivors are all there watching with Horror ((Wyatt and Shell being the most affected by it and yelling at Carver with Bonnie while Russel and Vince see that its fucked up but dont want to have Carver s rage directed at them.))
    When Bonnie tells them that she s gonna help them out of Howe s she tells Clem she s gonna try to get some ´´Old friends´´ to come with them.
    Depending on how you treated them in the episode the 400 Days survivors can either Come with you or Stay there but not Alert the others that they re there.
    After Carver is Killed the 400 days Survivors shown up and you have to convince them to come with Clem s group:
    Wyatt will always want to go with them because he wants to search For Eddie and he knewn that Carver was Crazy and he s not gonna stay in a group with someone who s nuts.
    Shell and Becca will Go with Clem if she was nice to them during the episode.
    Vince and Russel will only come with you If you have some sort of reassurance that it will be better out there.
    If you manage to get all of the 400 days survivors with you and Reggie alive there would be Different outcomes to later episodes:
    If Reggie s alive he will stop Nick from leaving to warn the others because its too Risky but he will die Holding the walkers off So Clem and Jane can get Sarah out of the Trailer.
    Vince and Wyatt will drop down to Help Sarah out of her Retarded 2nd death scene.
    During the shootout with the Russians Becca and Russel will die.
    Vince will leave with Mike and Bonnie ((If she did not die in the ice lake.))
    Sarah will get Bitten while trying to escape the Car with Clementine and she s mercy killed after the fight with Kenny and Jane.
    Wyatt will arrive with Shell to try to stop Kenny and Jane s fight but Wyatt can be accidentally shot at by Clementine who would not have seen them coming in and tried to shoot Kenny to make him stop attacking Jane.
    Shell will proppose they vote to where they go next ((Jane will vote For Howe s , Wyatt and Nick will just go with whatever they want, Shell wants to head back South and keep surviving there while Kenny wants to keep looking for Wellington.))
    Clem will be the one to decide where they go in the end.
    If you go to Wellington only 3 people will be allowed to enter and Kenny will choose Shell to enter with Clem and AJ because he doesnt trust Jane and Wyatt wants to stay with the Group.
    If you pick Howe s they find the Family which Wyatt and Kenny will let enter Howe s Ignoring Jane s Warning that they might be Dangerous .
    If you Pick to head south you wil get a short cutscene Similar to the Alone ending but With Jane suggesting they use the walker guts to get past the herd and The others Comply with Wyatt retorting that he still thinks this shit is gross.

  • edited June 2017

    at that time i did not known how the point system for Kenny actually worked and since i sided with Kenny on pretty much everything i thought it was weird that he only came with me if i saved Ben ((My save probably Glitched when i was playing it.))
    Also Omid s always willing to go but Christa decides for him that they re not going if You hide the bite.

    DabigRG posted: »

    Been a while since I've reviewed anything here and I know you in particular have been a pretty devout contributor. Now that ANF is over, I g

  • edited June 2017

    Yeah i put the Dog lives part in an older Rewrite too and i wanted to carry it over to this one.
    Also as for the Recap for the main things from season 1
    Mark died Instead of Ben , Carley/Doug Jumped in to help Kenny when he was Saving Christa and apparently i also Had Lily jump with Carley cause i really did not remember that i did that...

    DabigRG posted: »

    All that Remains...is for me to finally get to this. And all the other stuff. Revisemos! The episode opens up like in the original bu

  • its been so long since i made these i did not even remember i had Lily try to help Kenny in episode 5.

    DabigRG posted: »

    Back to Season 2, eh? Bit whiplashy between dates, but at least you're ambitious. The episode opens up the same way as normal but if B

  • Agreed 100% Omid s death had even worse reasoning than season 3 s flashbacks because while Kenny/Jane were determinant Omid was not Telltale just killed them off for shock value.

    What I would really want to rewrite is S3E1 and change Kenny's death scene. I wouldn't even change it up much, I understand he was doomed ev

  • thanks

    DabigRG posted: »

    I did fully read this and I was halfway through a review, but one wrong button press screwed it up, so I''ll just list things. * Beard:

  • edited June 2017


    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    Its been quite some time since i last posted anything on my episode rewrites so just following what happened in a house divided. Episode 3

  • Not reviewing this right now, just wanted to say:
    Are you sure you wanna post this as a reply rather than a separate post? At the very least, it'd make things less awkward and confusing at a glance.

    UrbanRodrik posted: »


  • edited June 2017

    Okay, so I got time to kill at the moment and am rested up from actually taking my ass to sleep early, so I think I'll try to go for 2+ pages of reviews today.

    So, let's flashback to these flashbacks!

    1st Flashback happens when Clem s tryng to sleep. It starts as soon as Clem enters Wellington with Edith :
    Edith tells Clem that she needs to talk to the leader of Wellington and reassuring her that Leo is a good guy.
    When Clem gets to Leo s office , Leo tells her about how she s gonna have to Share a room with Edith because the Place is very crowded and that was the only reason they Let Clem in.
    After leaving Leo s Office Clem talks to Edith about how Cold he is and Edith says that he s always mistrusting of new people but he s gonna warm up to her eventually.

    Aw yes, Leo! I remember him from your previous post. And that definitely feels like something Edith would've done.

    You then have a scene with Edith entering their room and asking about what happened with her before she went to Wellington and after Clem tells Edith what happened in season 2 ((Like a Clem telling Luke what happened in season 1 kind of thing))


    She makes AJ sleep and goes to sleep and the flashback cuts up to Shown Clem in New frontier sleeping and the screen turns black and it comes back with Clem and Javier going with either Tripp or Eleanor.

    Okay, I didn't quite get this? Can you explain how this works?

    2nd Flashback happens when Javier reunites with his family:
    this one happens 7 months after the 1st one.
    Kenny comes back after 4 months from the 1st Flashback because he was layng low on that time on a city that was Close to Wellington.
    Clem and Edith are on watch for new people while Kenny and Leo are checking supplies because a big part of their group betrayed them and ran with several of their supplies.

    Ooh, consecutive flashbacks that help fleshout the endings! Good idea.

    Clem and Edith spot 2 people walking towards them those 2 people being Shell and Becca who escaped Howes before the herd hit or if she did not come with Tavia the 2 of them just found their way to Wellington because they heard the rumors about Wellington.

    See, this definitely feels like something that really could've happened.

    When they arrive at the Door and ask to enter Edith Asks Clem what they should do since they re running low on Supplies but they dont have alot of people since they left stealing their supplies.
    Let them in: If you let them in then Shell and Becca thank Clem and Edith and enter Wellington after this you get a hub to talk to Shell, Becca, Kenny and Leo.
    If you dont let them in: Becca tries to pull out a gun but Shell stops her and they both leave.

    The Flashback ends after you talk to everyone or just go back to Clem s Room.

    Guess that would set the stage for the state of things in the actual flashback.

    3rd Flashback happens After Clem gets in the Car when Prescott is being destroyed by the New frontier.
    The Flashback starts like the normal one with Clem talking to AJ and Edith coming to tell her to pack her stuff just in case.
    A Shootout does break out between both Groups and Clem goes to help them.
    You get a shootout sequence like you do in Episode 3 of Season 1.

    Deja vu. Well, I guess I can see why you'd do multiple takes on a scene after having some time to think, so okay.

    After a certain point Clem and most of the others run out of bullets except Kenny and Shell.
    Shell and Kenny say that they re gonna distract while Clem, Leo, Edith and Becca run away. ((After facing heavy disagreement by Becca who doesnt want to leave her sister.))
    Clem and the others leave wellington by the front gate and you see a brief scene of Kenny getting shot down and Shell being shot in the Arm and being knocked out.

    Poor Shel. :sad:

    When Clem is Close to the woods one of the people from the other group starts shooting Edith and the Shot hits just like in the normal Wellington ending and Edith dies .
    You then get a QTE sequence to get AJ who was in Edith s hands and Bring him with Clem.
    Just as Clem is about to Grab AJ a shot hits her face making the Scar that happens during the normal Wellington Flashback.
    Clem grabs AJ and runs away With Leo and Becca .

    Okay, so the only difference is that Kenny and Shell get defeated, Edith still dies, and Becca is along for the ride if you let her stay in the first place.

    Good job! :smile:

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    Allright so im redoing this since im fairly sure that i wasnt supposed to take my rewrites into account so: ((Im doing 3 different flashback

  • What would you like to change about them?

    In Season 1: Long Road Ahead In Season 2: In Harms Way

  • Actually, I forgot to write out what I had in mind and never got around to it. :lol:

    UrbanRodrik posted: »

    So how s the rewrite on the 2 other Flashbacks going you 2?

  • Okay, time to actually review this:

    First flashback

    Huh--Ice fishing. I also like the thought put into trying to figure out what they'd be eating out in the wild, though squirrels sounds like an inherently bad idea. But then again, I guess it would make sense with Kenny fixing the food.

    Second flashback

    Lol, Last of us much? Still, the implication of Clementine killing a baby deer in front of his momma is kinda fucked up, though not as bad as what the conversation implies.

    Third and final Kenny flashback is after the fall of Prescott after Clem says she wouldn't know how parents act. This is exactly the same.


    Anyway, this was actually a pretty neat read for this thread(no offense to everyone else). Good job!

    Kenny Ending First flashback would be after Clementine asks who is at the junkyard. Sunny early spring day, there is still some ice on

  • Alright Bossman, time to take a look at what you scribed for me...from 6 months ago.

    First of all, one global difference: all of the flashbacks would all be extended for at least another 5-10 minutes, making the flashbacks go for at least 10 minutes at minimum. The second flashback in episode 2, however, would remain the same length as it currently does.

    Interesting conditions. Let's see what you do with them, ya self-imposed daredevil.

    Kenny flashback: This one would stay the same, car crash included. But what would change is the outcome of the car wreck. Kenny gets injured, but not by being tossed out the windshield. He's unconscious in the passenger's seat, and at first, Clementine thinks he might be dead. Kenny eventually comes to. He suffered a broken arm and some cuts and bruises, but otherwise appears to be fine. Clementine helps Kenny out of the wreckage, and they make a break for it.

    Yeah, admittedly, turning Kenny into a paralyzed human cannonball was a bit ridiculous.

    The second flashback in episode 2 would open the same as it does now: Clementine on the run, but with an injured Kenny in tow. This way around, the choice is a bit harder of a call to make-- going with her lets Kenny get medical help, but can you trust that she's not just leading you into a trap? And even if you decide to reject her offer, what if Kenny's condition worsens? It's a risky choice either way.

    Aw yes, a determinate conflicting motivator.

    Wellington flashback: I'd change how this flashback opens up. Clementine would be out in the woods, hunting with another person from Wellington. She has some back and forth with this member, who is established to be a friend to Clementine.

    Yeah, the fact that Edith and the Jane-voiced Guard are the only two Wellington dwellers we see was pretty dull. Plus, having Clementine actually acting as a citizen is a good way to establish what's being lost.

    They eventually manage to catch themselves some rabbits or something, and decide to head back for the night. As they near Wellington, they hear commotion coming from inside. Clementine tries using the walkie, only to get no response. They suspect something bad's going on as they pick up speed. When they emerge from the treeline, they find out it's even worse than they thought: Wellington's gates are smashed open, cars have been rammed through the walls, and a group of bandits (implied to be the New Frontier) are in the process of attacking the place. It is pure chaos.

    Being pretty blunt here, eh? Well, I suppose it would make sense to just go ahead and tie them in here, even if the timeline makes things a bit weird.

    Clementine and her friend rush back into Wellington in order to rescue AJ. From here, it plays out the same way it does in game; you return to your home, find Edith, and grab AJ, then you have to quickly choose a handful of supplies to take with you. Then you'd make your escape, with a small change: Clementine, Edith, and her new friend all manage to escape together. Clementine's friend would be the one to die, falling on AJ and creating a similar scare/fake-out. Clementine gets grazed on the cheek, and Edith takes a bullet, but manages to escape with Clementine.

    The second flashback would play out just like Kenny's does, except with an injured Edith instead.

    Ok. Sorry if you're expecting a smarter comment her, but again, this makes sense for what you're going for.

    Jane flashback - with the family: Clementine and Jane enjoy some relative peace within Howe's, just like it currently is in game. Clementine gets her tattoo, gives AJ a middle name, etc. Everything's going good, and the family is still with you at this point in time. However, the peace doesn't last-- a small timeskip occurs as the food supply gets lower. Tensions rise, which culminate in a confrontation between Clementine, Jane, and the family. At first, it's a simple argument over food and supplies, but things quickly go south and guns end up being pulled. A small shootout leaves the father dead, and the mother and son take off. Clementine and Jane are unscathed, but finally decide to abandon Howe's after the incident with the family. They grab what little is left, and leave.

    You know, I kinda wish this was what we got instead. Granted, this is coming from someone who says the Jane flashback is the worst one, but it's true. Plus, Randy was easily the most "hostile" member of the family anyway and him being dead opens up the door for a different direction on the Kenny-type arc.

    Jane isn't pregnant in either versions of these endings.

    Peculiar change, but okay.

    Jane flashback - Without the family: Opens up the same way it does currently. Relatively peace and quiet, Clementine getting her tattoo, etc. However, it quickly becomes apparent that this peace and quiet is hollow-- with only Jane and Clementine by themselves, they start to feel the effects of isolation. Unlike the other flashbacks, this one would be unique in that it doesn't result in any kind of bloodshed or injuries; Clementine and Jane eventually decide to leave on their own volition, after the isolation starts taking a toll on them both. The ghosts of Howe's and all that start to get to Jane's head, and Jane is implied to possibly be contemplating suicide, which Clementine picks up on, and decides to leave in the hopes of lifting Jane's spirits before she tries to do anything further.

    Again, something I wish they emphasized more in the actual thing. Especially since it's an excuse to break the typical manner of storytelling for a bit.

    The family from S2 doesn't reappear in this ending. I think having them come back to steal or launch an attack is a bit too predictable. I think focusing more on the effects of isolation on the sanity of Jane and Clementine is more interesting for the players who went with this ending.

    Yeah, that is pretty expected at this time, so nice job on being original there.

    Alone ending: I'd actually move a small scene from the Wellington ending into this one. The alone flashback would open with Clem and AJ on their own, in a little shack. The scene with AJ drawing a picture and Clem guessing what it is would be moved to this ending instead.

    Yeah, the alone ending we got, while probably the best due to lack of nostalgia bullshit soiling it, throws them in the thick of things a little too fast. It would've helped the story in general to have Clementine and AJ bonding for a bit.

    These are not the full flashbacks, and they'd continue to persist through the season, gradually revealing the story of Clementine's past, and the fates of AJ, Kenny, Jane, or Edith. Maybe I'll bookmark this and update it when the rest of the episodes come out, changing up the rest of the flashbacks to go along with the above.

    Kinda hope you do/did sometime, cause the groundwork you set up here was an excellent read in and of itself.

    Good job! :smile:

    Deltino posted: »

    Since we're talking about rewriting the flashbacks, I have a few ideas of my own to add. These aren't exactly full rewrites-- at least no

  • no option to stay at Carver's instead of marching away into the horde of walkers,

    I recall seeing this complaint before. How do you think things would've played out if that was an option, given that the herd was gonna attack the building with an exposed opening(thanks for the help, Troy) anyway?

    Arvo's medicine not making a goddamn difference,

    Agreed, though I've learned that you can give some to either Rebecca before or during AJ's birth or Luke during the log conversation.

    magical missing town to which they were supposed to go at the end of S2Ep4,

    Yeah, while I think the Unfinished House was a wasted location, I think the town could've still been tied into the Russian's side of things given they came from the same general direction.

    no warning shot during Kenny vs Jane fight,

    Well that's Season 2's choices being bidimentional in general. It just so happens that that choice actually has significant effects and a few select spins on it.

    Clementine's flashbacks in S3.

    No comment.

    fallandir posted: »

    Not whole episodes, but few things that makes me grind my teeth are: * no option to stay at Carver's instead of marching away into the

  • K. Not sure how that'd work exactly, but K.

    max_pain943 posted: »

    I Would've rewrite Ties That Bind (both parts) i would've made story mainly about Clem, AJ and The New Frontier, Clem would have have been a

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