Grant a Useless Power!

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Comments

  • edited June 2011
    I grant Profanity the ability to tie tiny tiny ribbons onto any specie of ant.
  • edited June 2011
    Let's see... I grant RETRO the ability to know how aged a piece of cheese is just by smelling it.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant PONY the ability to see into a Yak's future.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Retro the ability to herd cattle with his farts, with an effective radius of only 2 feet away.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Chyron the super ability to sense whenever someone has stolen double AA batteries.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Pony the ability to summon two-year-old newspapers at will.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Martin the ability to turn clean bathwater soapy.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Pony Bone the super sensory ability to detect nearby pork rinds.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Chyron the ability to turn toilet water into mud.
  • jmmjmm
    edited June 2011
    I grant Pony Bone the useful power of turning a pile of mud into a toilet
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Jmm the ability to flip to page 18 of any piece of literature at will.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Martin McFly the ability to cancel random magazine subscriptions.
  • edited June 2011
    THAT IS NOT USELESS!!!
    I grant All-thumbs the ability to go five minutes into the future by waiting for five minutes.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Sarendor the ability to weave pillowcases from his nose hair.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Chyron the ability to make fine bookmarks out of book covers.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Sarendor the ability to turn tears into gooey boogers.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Pony Bone's body the ability and desire to breathe without him needing to consciously be aware of it.



    (My biology teacher in high school told me that he knew a girl who babysat for a bratty kid, and that this kid threatened that if he didn't get his way, he would hold his breath until he died. So, she said "Fine, go ahead." When he passed out, his body automatically started breathing again and she put him to bed.)
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Chyron8472 the ability to have the user name Chyron8472.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant supmandude85 the ability to talk like The Cheat. I ought to point out though that no one irl can understand what The Cheat is saying.
  • edited June 2011
    You now have the ability to talk to fish.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Johro the ability to instantly make ice cubes... out of milk.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Pony Bone the ability to cook the best fried nails in the world.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Sarendor the ability to teleport one millimeter to the left, an ability that has a "recharge" or "cooldown" time (take your pick) of 72 hours.
  • edited June 2011
    Chyron now has the ability to make dog food taste like sour cream.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Pony the ability to fly every time he licks his elbow.
  • edited June 2011
    I give Martin McFly the power to perfectly imitate Micheal J Fox.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Remolay the power to shapeshift into a human.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant StrongBrush1 the ability to read his own mind.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Martin the ability to turn vitamin supplements into thumb tacks.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Pony Bone the ability to be invisible to people with their eyes closed.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Supmandude85 the ability to seduce hats.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Martin the ability to produce photographs every time he blinks.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Pony Bone the power to flip pages without touching a book. However, it only works for the previous page.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Sarendor the power to smell like a skunk at will
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Pony Bone the powers of a technopath... but only if he gives up all technology and becomes amish
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Dumpling321 the power to float in a soup bowl.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Sarendor the power to smell like road tar.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Pony Bone the power to enjoy the full nutritional value of fingernails.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Sarendor the ability to turn toothbrushes into shoehorns.
  • edited June 2011
    I grant Pony Bone the ability to have 100 post as long as he posts only in this forum.
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