From the desk of Andrew Ryan...

edited April 2010 in General Chat
J2u2w.jpg

I am Andrew Ryan, and I am here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

'No,' says the man in Washington, 'it belongs to the poor.'
'No,' says the man in the Vatican, 'it belongs to God.'
'No,' says the man in Moscow, 'it belongs to everyone.'

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose...

Rapture.

A city where the artist would not fear the censor,
where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality,
where the great would not be constrained by the small.

And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city, as well.

That's right, effective immediately, I am accepting applications to join me here in Rapture. The time is now, it is time to rebuild. My city will live again, friends... AND YOU'RE INVITED!
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Comments

  • edited April 2010
    Mr. Ryan

    What do you plan to do about the smell of rotting bodies?

    Also:

    Um

    the angry murderous death monsters.

    Also this already failed once so your track record isn't that great.
  • edited April 2010
    I reject your reality and I substitute my own.
  • edited April 2010
    I don't get it
  • edited April 2010
    Yeah...I've seen what you're capable of when pushed. In particular, there was that stunt you pulled when you killed off Arcadia. I don't want to be around for a repeat of that one. No thanks.
  • puzzleboxpuzzlebox Telltale Alumni
    edited April 2010
  • edited April 2010
    Mr. Ryan

    What do you plan to do about the smell of rotting bodies?

    Also:

    Um

    the angry murderous death monsters.

    Also this already failed once so your track record isn't that great.

    Mr Dashing, to be perfectly honest, you aren't invited. You have a history of being somewhat confrontational, and your sort ruined my city the first time around. NO RAPTURE FOR YOU.
    Yeah...I've seen what you're capable of when pushed. In particular, there was that stunt you pulled when you killed off Arcadia. I don't want to be around for a repeat of that one. No thanks.

    You, however, seem to not buy into Objectivism. I'm sorry for your loss, but if you do want to visit a scenic underwater metropolis, may I recommend Ry'leh?
    I reject your reality and I substitute my own.

    I like your style.
  • edited April 2010
    Mr Dashing, to be perfectly honest, you aren't invited. You have a history of being somewhat confrontational, and your sort ruined my city the first time around. NO RAPTURE FOR YOU.
    Isn't confrontation and conflict the very backbone of objectivism?
  • edited April 2010
    No thanks, I've seen Deep Blue Sea. If the splicers don't get you, the genetically altered sharks will.
  • edited April 2010
    Isn't confrontation and conflict the very backbone of objectivism?

    YOU NEVER READ ATLAS SHRUGGED, PARASITE WORM!!!!!
    Jen Kollic wrote: »
    No thanks, I've seen Deep Blue Sea. If the splicers don't get you, the genetically altered sharks will.

    Who said anything about sharks? I mean, sure, Suchong and Langford were messing around with giant monster crabs the size of a small bus, but they never enhanced any sharks... that I know of. Wait, that whale that you see coming into the city in the first game. I remember now. It used to be a great white!
  • puzzleboxpuzzlebox Telltale Alumni
    edited April 2010
    Jen Kollic wrote: »
    No thanks, I've seen Deep Blue Sea. If the splicers don't get you, the genetically altered sharks will.

    Good gravy, that movie was hilarious. I love the part where the sharks "learn" to swim backwards. :p
  • edited April 2010
    puzzlebox wrote: »
    Good gravy, that movie was hilarious. I love the part where the sharks "learn" to swim backwards. :p


    It's even funnier considering that they can't physiologically do that! It's one of the best unintentional comedies ever.
  • edited April 2010
    YOU NEVER READ ATLAS SHRUGGED, PARASITE WORM!!!!!
    Can I expect to get welfare checks in Rapture?
  • edited April 2010
    You, however, seem to not buy into Objectivism. I'm sorry for your loss, but if you do want to visit a scenic underwater metropolis, may I recommend Ry'leh?

    I go there every spring to have tea with Cthulhu. Nice place to visit (a bit overrated) but I wouldn't want to live there.
  • edited April 2010
    Can I expect to get welfare checks in Rapture?

    No more than you can expect capital punishment, rigged trials, censorship or nationalisation of businesses.
  • edited April 2010
    I go there every spring to have tea with Cthulhu. Nice place to visit (a bit overrated) but I wouldn't want to live there.

    He's really a great guy to go golfing with, if something of a lousy neighbour. Always with the noise complaints, that one.
  • edited April 2010
    No more than you can expect capital punishment, rigged trials, censorship or nationalisation of businesses.
    Yay! Welfare checks for Mr. Dashing!

    Also, I want ice cream.

    And a pony.

    Can I get a piggy-back ride?
  • TorTor
    edited April 2010
    That's right, effective immediately, I am accepting applications to join me here in Rapture. The time is now, it is time to rebuild. My city will live again, friends... AND YOU'RE INVITED!
    I don't know... what kind of internet connectivity do you get down there?
  • edited April 2010
    Yay! Welfare checks for Mr. Dashing!

    Also, I want ice cream.

    And a pony.

    Can I get a piggy-back ride?

    Sure. Sure you can, just ask a Big Daddy... Parasite.
    Tor wrote: »
    I don't know... what kind of internet connectivity do you get down there?

    Um... We totally have a T1 line, totally. Also, that new 400 terabyte or whatever line that Cisco or someone is coming out with, only we invented it because we're Rapture. Remember; into the city all good things do flow.
  • edited April 2010
    Is it true that we can expect to see Big Grandpas in Rapture soon?

    GI_BIO3_coverscan_webbig.jpg
  • edited April 2010
    most dangerous game haha
  • edited April 2010
    Pale Man wrote: »
    Is it true that we can expect to see Big Grandpas in Rapture soon?

    GI_BIO3_coverscan_webbig.jpg


    Oh, I would love to have had that project work out. However, the test subjects would break out into games of shuffleboard, complain about kids on their nonexistent lawns (in whale speak, naturally) and they would constantly forget where their little sisters were. Needless to say, we had to drop the project. On a happier note, we did find out how to wear diving suit pants REALLY high, so that's a plus, I suppose.
  • edited April 2010
    I have to ask, is this iambecomedeath7 on a new account, or is it an entirely new Andrew Ryan troll?
  • edited April 2010
    I have to ask, is this iambecomedeath7 on a new account, or is it an entirely new Andrew Ryan troll?

    I am Andrew Ryan, and there's two ways to deal with mystery: uncover it, or eliminate it.

    The mystery is over, though. I am iambecomedeath7. I just thought I might register a new account. I have a notion that I may actually *use* my old account, since I have games registered on that one and my steam name (the same thing) had the whole telltale package. Furthermore, I wanted a direct line to talk to the people of Telltale, in my name and in my image. Were you expecting this from a mere "troll?" I also troll random chatboxes, which is fun.

    Also: *sob* my "trolling" achievements have been recognised!
  • edited April 2010
    So Bioshock is worth a play then?
  • edited April 2010
    Irishmile wrote: »
    So Bioshock is worth a play then?

    Even in a book of lies sometimes you find truth. There is indeed a season for all things and now that I see you flesh-to-flesh and blood-to-blood I know I cannot raise my hand against you. But know this, you are my greatest disappointment. Does your master hear me? Atlas! You can kill me, but you will never have my city. My strength is not in steel and fire, that is what the parasites will never understand. A season for all things! A time to live and a time to die, a time to play adventure games... and a time to play BioShock!

    In all fairness, it would've worked better as a visual novel. The FPS gameplay is fairly average, but the atmosphere and story are excellent... until the end of the second act.
  • edited April 2010
    What is the Parasite's policy on children?
  • edited April 2010
    Irishmile wrote: »
    So Bioshock is worth a play then?
    I bought it for $20. Finished it in a weekend. Granted, a fairly lazy weekend, but still.

    ...It felt like a waste, even at the $20 mark. The demo contains the very best part of the game. The game has literally no difficulty. You can sort of work some in by changing a couple settings, but you not basically waltzing through the experience actually contradicts the story, which itself wasn't anywhere near as smart or original as people made it out to be.

    As an RPG, it's...really weak. As an FPS...it's also weak.

    It's pretty atmospheric in parts. The demo portion, the introduction, steals the show from the rest of the game. Quality of atmosphere takes a nosedive after that, and then gradually falters throughout the game. After your character's meeting with Andrew Ryan, the story bolts into really bad territory. An escort mission and a multi-stage boss fight straight out of the early 90s that can be won by circle-strafing.
  • edited April 2010
    Don't listen to Rather Dashing. :p

    It's a fantastic game and amazing by most peoples' standards.
  • edited April 2010
    What is the Parasite's policy on children?

    It's a policy best left untouched. I shall leave this to your imagination for fear of insta-b&, but I assure you it is unpleasant.
    I bought it for $20. Finished it in a weekend. Granted, a fairly lazy weekend, but still.

    ...It felt like a waste, even at the $20 mark. The demo contains the very best part of the game. The game has literally no difficulty. You can sort of work some in by changing a couple settings, but you not basically waltzing through the experience actually contradicts the story, which itself wasn't anywhere near as smart or original as people made it out to be.

    As an RPG, it's...really weak. As an FPS...it's also weak.

    It's pretty atmospheric in parts. The demo portion, the introduction, steals the show from the rest of the game. Quality of atmosphere takes a nosedive after that, and then gradually falters throughout the game. After your character's meeting with Andrew Ryan, the story bolts into really bad territory. An escort mission and a multi-stage boss fight straight out of the early 90s that can be won by circle-strafing.

    Do not listen to this man, for he is mostly a parasite...
    Pale Man wrote: »
    Don't listen to Rather Dashing. :p

    It's a fantastic game and amazing by most peoples' standards.

    ...listen to this man instead.
  • edited April 2010
    Pale Man wrote: »
    Don't listen to Rather Dashing. :p

    It's a fantastic game and amazing by most peoples' standards.
    Why is it a good game? Specifically, why is it a good game for reasons that would not fit in a list entitled "Why Bioshock would make a good movie"?
  • edited April 2010
    It was good but overhyped and the plot wasn't as deep as everyone let on it was. Plus the Vita-Chambers were pretty damn stupid, the game had no difficulty with them in it
  • edited April 2010
    Why is it a good game? Specifically, why is it a good game for reasons that would not fit in a list entitled "Why Bioshock would make a good movie"?


    Everyone, disregard this man. Remember what I always say? About the Parasites?
  • edited April 2010
    JedExodus wrote: »
    It was good but overhyped and the plot wasn't as deep as everyone let on it was. Plus the Vita-Chambers were pretty damn stupid, the game had no difficulty with them in it

    You. Have you ever seen the entrance foyer to my office? It's not a threat or anything. It's just, you know, those were people who disagreed with me, you know...
  • edited April 2010
    You. Have you ever seen the entrance foyer to my office? It's not a threat or anything. It's just, you know, those were people who disagreed with me, you know...

    I did see it, then you died... just sayin'. again
  • edited April 2010
    JedExodus wrote: »
    I did see it, then you died... just sayin'. again

    So tell me, friend, which one of the bitches sent you? The KGB wolf, or the CIA jackal? Here's the news: Rapture isn't some sunken ship for you to plunder, and Andrew Ryan isn't a giddy socialite who can be slapped around by government muscle. And with that, farewell, or dasvidaniya, whichever you prefer.

    Also, I believe you're forgetting Vita-Chambers. I must still be alive. I mean, I'm typing aren't I? 2K wouldn't dare kill me forever. Remember how vapid the atmosphere felt in BioShock 2? Rapture isn't Rapture without Ryan.
  • edited April 2010
    Also, I believe you're forgetting Vita-Chambers. I must still be alive. I mean, I'm typing aren't I? 2K wouldn't dare kill me forever. Remember how vapid the atmosphere felt in BioShock 2? Rapture isn't Rapture without Ryan.

    Fair point about the Vita-Chambers, though I saw you in the sequel in that theme park that was like Himmler's Disneyland. You were looking well, if a little rusty.

    And I work alone. Apart from when i work with dangerous terrorist splinter cells
  • edited April 2010
    Remember how vapid the atmosphere felt in BioShock 2?
    Ryan, all that dying must've jumbled your brains. That's not how you say "Bioshock 1".
  • edited April 2010
    JedExodus wrote: »
    Fair point about the Vita-Chambers, though I saw you in the sequel in that theme park that was like Himmler's Disneyland. You were looking well, if a little rusty.

    And I work alone. Apart from when i work with dangerous terrorist splinter cells

    Yeah, well... Himmler wishes he had despotism down like I do. Very clever, by the way, going for Himmler instead of Hitler. You have won at Godwin's.
    Ryan, all that dying must've jumbled your brains. That's not how you say "Bioshock 1".

    Each moment brings me more hatred for you, Parasite.
  • edited April 2010
    Also, I believe you're forgetting Vita-Chambers. I must still be alive.

    But you turned the Vita-Chamber outside your office off before Jack came to...er...play golf with you. Then again, who knows what the range is on those things.

    Also, this has nothing to do with anything, but I was hoping to pick up an EVE Hypo when I placed my April Fool's Day order on ThinkGeek today to get a free shirt. Alas, they were all sold out. It must be all those people down in Rapture consuming the whole supply. Assuming there's anyone left.
  • edited April 2010
    But you turned the Vita-Chamber outside your office off before Jack came to...er...play golf with you. Then again, who knows what the range is on those things.

    Also, this has nothing to do with anything, but I was hoping to pick up an EVE Hypo when I placed my April Fool's Day order on ThinkGeek today to get a free shirt. Alas, they were all sold out. It must be all those people down in Rapture consuming the whole supply. Assuming there's anyone left.

    Well, for my purposes, let's assume they've quite the range.

    Furthermore, yes, there are people left down here... just not *human* people.
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