From the desk of Andrew Ryan...

124

Comments

  • edited April 2010
    syugrc.jpg

    I am humbled, Parasite. You've obviously put at least cursory effort into this, and I applaud you. Still, the Artist reflects the world as it ought to be, not as it is damned to be by some spasm of the lower mind. But I shall not censor. That post is your property. However... if the case I am building against you proves true -- I will return with a sledgehammer... that's how this ARPANET works, right?
    I notice you have a resentment for the security organization of your childhood nation. I also notice that you have yet to mention your mother. Why did you flee Russia, Andy? Why do you balk at even the smallest extensions of charity?

    Is it because you didn't have any, growing up?

    Is it because your mother was gone?

    Did you have to grow up, Andy?

    Was she vanished away?

    Did they take her?

    Did they, Andy?

    Did they?

    I... I... That's not what happened. You weren't there!
  • edited April 2010
    I... I... That's not what happened. You weren't there!
    ...

    Andy.

    It's okay.

    You can cry.

    But you know...

    You must accept it.

    She's not coming back.

    Denial doesn't heal the wounds.

    You are among friends now, Andy.

    And the burning refuse caused by your failure.

    But, you know, nobody blames you for that, not really.

    Okay, I do, but that's really not the point that I'm trying to make.

    What I mean to say is, we're all friends here, and we want to help you.
  • edited April 2010
    ...

    Andy.

    It's okay.

    You can cry.

    But you know...

    You must accept it.

    She's not coming back.

    Denial doesn't heal the wounds.

    You are among friends now, Andy.

    And the burning refuse caused by your failure.

    But, you know, nobody blames you for that, not really.

    Okay, I do, but that's really not the point that I'm trying to make.

    What I mean to say is, we're all friends here, and we want to help you.


    No, no. I'm a winner. I have tons of friends in my underwater city of awesome. See?

    BioShock2_2010-02-27_17-38-29-84.png

    I see lots of friends, here.
  • edited April 2010
    No, no. I'm a winner. I have tons of friends in my underwater city of awesome. See?

    I see lots of friends, here.
    Ryan, those are known as your colleagues.

    Can you share your secrets with them?

    Do they care about your well-being?

    Can you count on them for help?

    Can you count on them at all?

    Andy, most of them...

    Don't like you.

    Like, at all.

    Sorry.

    :(
  • edited April 2010
    Ryan, those are known as your colleagues.

    Can you share your secrets with them?

    Do they care about your well-being?

    Can you count on them for help?

    Can you count on them at all?

    Andy, most of them...

    Don't like you.

    Like, at all.

    Sorry.

    :(

    No, they are my friends. The look on their faces just screams "we love Andrew Ryan" and they even let me be the focus of the picture since they know I'm the most photogenic.

    Why are you typing in stepped lines?
  • edited April 2010
    Every time you call him Andy you make me think about this song.
  • edited April 2010
    No, they are my friends. The look on their faces just screams "we love Andrew Ryan" and they even let me be the focus of the picture since they know I'm the most photogenic.
    They don't look all that happy to be with you, Andy.

    They look stiff and formal, they're on business.

    They really aren't there to help you, Andy.

    They'll help you make a doomed city.

    But they won't help your heart.

    It's so empty without her.

    Isn't it, Andy?

    Isn't it?

    :(

    Why are you typing in stepped lines?
    :)

    Glad you asked.

    Life is like a staircase

    And you need to move on

    Move on to the next step in turn

    Before you can go forward in your life.

    You really need to take that next step, Andy.

    You're standing there on the "Rapture" step, and...

    It is over, and it has been over for a very long time now.

    Perhaps you have to look back before you can move forward.

    But don't just stay stagnant, Andy, letting your failures ensnare you.

    You have the rest of the staircase up ahead, Andy, and it starts with the next step.

    Avistew wrote: »
    Every time you call him Andy you make me think about this song.
    Every time he is called Andy, I think of this.
  • edited April 2010
    Oh, right, that's the kid's name isn't it?
  • edited April 2010

    Every time he is called Andy, I think of this.

    Every time he is called Andy, I think of this.
  • edited April 2010
    Avistew wrote: »
    Every time you call him Andy you make me think about this song.

    Your song frightens and confuses me... I need to learn French, evidently. Personally, the name Andy annoys me, and reminds me of this.
    They don't look all that happy to be with you, Andy.

    They look stiff and formal, they're on business.

    They really aren't there to help you, Andy.

    They'll help you make a doomed city.

    But they won't help your heart.

    It's so empty without her.

    Isn't it, Andy?

    Isn't it?

    :(



    :)

    Glad you asked.

    Life is like a staircase

    And you need to move on

    Move on to the next step in turn

    Before you can go forward in your life.

    You really need to take that next step, Andy.

    You're standing there on the "Rapture" step, and...

    It is over, and it has been over for a very long time now.

    Perhaps you have to look back before you can move forward.

    But don't just stay stagnant, Andy, letting your failures ensnare you.

    You have the rest of the staircase up ahead, Andy, and it starts with the next step.


    That was... that was... Are you with Lamb, you PARASITE?
    Every time he is called Andy, I think of this.

    THAT'S NOT THE ORIGINAL!!!!
  • edited April 2010
    That was... that was... Are you with Lamb, you PARASITE?
    :rolleyes:

    Oh, Andy.

    I see your problem.

    You have trust issues.

    Tell me what happened.

    I mean, after they took her.

    You don't need to be paranoid.

    We're just trying to help you, Andy.

    THAT'S NOT THE ORIGINAL!!!!
    Indeed.
  • edited April 2010
    :rolleyes:

    Oh, Andy.

    I see your problem.

    You have trust issues.

    Tell me what happened.

    I mean, after they took her.

    You don't need to be paranoid.

    We're just trying to help you, Andy.

    I don't need your brand of help, parasite. A man stands by his own will. A man triumphs only under his own strength! What is the difference between a man and a parasite? A man builds. A parasite asks "Where is my share?" A man creates. A parasite says, "What will the neighbors think?" A man invents. A parasite says, "Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God..." You accuse me of being a parasite, good sir. A parasite, I am not...
    Indeed.

    I am bothered by his laziness. Why use a remake when the original was right there in the suggestions?
  • edited April 2010
    I am bothered by his laziness. Why use a remake when the original was right there in the suggestions?

    Oh. I apologize. I meant this instead.
  • edited April 2010
    I don't need your brand of help, parasite. A man stands by his own will. A man triumphs only under his own strength! What is the difference between a man and a parasite? A man builds. A parasite asks "Where is my share?" A man creates. A parasite says, "What will the neighbors think?" A man invents. A parasite says, "Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God..." You accuse me of being a parasite, good sir. A parasite, I am not...
    :(

    Andy...

    Look around you.

    You've refused help.

    Where did that get you?

    Where did that get Rapture?
  • edited April 2010
    Oh. I apologize. I meant this instead.

    Oh, here: Watch Me.
    :(

    Andy...

    Look around you.

    You've refused help.

    Where did that get you?

    Where did that get Rapture?

    Rapture is coming back to life. Even now, can't you hear the breath returning to her lungs? The shops reopening, the schools humming with the thoughts of young minds? My city will live! - My city will thrive!... And, when that day comes... we'll use your tombstone for paving tiles.
  • edited April 2010
    Rapture is coming back to life. Even now, can't you hear the breath returning to her lungs? The shops reopening, the schools humming with the thoughts of young minds? My city will live! - My city will thrive!... And, when that day comes... we'll use your tombstone for paving tiles.
    Oh.

    OK.

    Bye
  • edited April 2010
    Your song frightens and confuses me...

    Apparently I loved this song as a kid. It explains so much (let me translate the spoken bit at the beginning):
    Hey, Andy? Hey, Andy!
    A girlfriend of mine told me your name's Andy
    I've been following you for a while, Andy.
    Hey, wanna come to my place? Or should we go to your place?
    Come on, Andy, say yes!

    See, obviously, my whole career as a stalker was influenced and caused by this song.
  • edited April 2010
    Rapture is coming back to life. Even now, can't you hear the breath returning to her lungs? The shops reopening, the schools humming with the thoughts of young minds? My city will live! - My city will thrive!... And, when that day comes... we'll use your tombstone for paving tiles.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwoqs08uVT8
  • edited April 2010
    Avistew wrote: »
    Apparently I loved this song as a kid. It explains so much (let me translate the spoken bit at the beginning):



    See, obviously, my whole career as a stalker was influenced and caused by this song.

    What a delightful story. 80's music is so... 80's, no? If Rather Dashing is still around he might be willing to shed some light on that stalkering... the parasite.

    Oh yeah?
  • edited April 2010
    Now, see, Groucho Marx... THERE was an entertainer! I'm sorry, I've lost the point. Ever seen the Great Dictator? Not Marx, but it's a great comedy film from that era.

    Groucho was the best, and one of the only comedians I've ever heard of who was actually the same in real life as on film, except the mustache. I've only seen the Great Dictator once and many years ago. Now that you've reminded me; I'll have to watch it again. I also like Duck Soup and the two parodies on dictators the Three Stooges did too.
  • edited April 2010
    Groucho was the best, and one of the only comedians I've ever heard of who was actually the same in real life as on film, except the mustache. I've only seen the Great Dictator once and many years ago. Now that you've reminded me; I'll have to watch it again. I also like Duck Soup and the two parodies on dictators the Three Stooges did too.

    I had not previously heard of Duck Soup. I shall have to see it for myself.
  • edited April 2010
    i had not previously heard of duck soup.
    ಠ_ಠ
  • edited April 2010
    ಠ_ಠ

    I haven't chosen a spot for you on the wall yet. Let me know if you have a preference.
  • edited April 2010
    I haven't chosen a spot for you on the wall yet. Let me know if you have a preference.
    By the window, please.
  • edited April 2010
    By the window, please.

    I hope you like fish watching, then. Fish watching... and exsanguination.
  • edited April 2010
    I hope you like fish watching, then. Fish watching... and exsanguination.
    I do like fish!

    Also, I have no idea what that last word is, so I'm going to assume it means "free ice cream". I love free ice cream!
  • edited April 2010
    I do like fish!

    Also, I have no idea what that last word is, so I'm going to assume it means "free ice cream". I love free ice cream!

    You're a very special person, aren't you?
  • edited April 2010
    You're a very special person, aren't you?
    That's what my mother always told me. :cool:
  • edited April 2010
    That's what my mother always told me. :cool:

    Did you have a special, shorter bus in your school days?
  • edited April 2010
    30wpi5l.jpg
  • edited April 2010
    Did you have a special, shorter bus in your school days?
    I remember a short, special bus that I thought was pretty cool in my school days.
  • edited April 2010
    I remember a short, special bus that I thought was pretty cool in my school days.

    If I were aboard a living school bus, I might be tempted to worry about the fabric of reality being ripped in half.
  • edited April 2010
    If I were aboard a living school bus, I might be tempted to worry about the fabric of reality being ripped in half.
    Can I confess something? I tell you this as a madman bent on destroying everything around me, I think you'll understand. Sometimes, when I'm driving a living, magical schoolbus... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The magical, cartoon rainbow. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline...
  • edited April 2010
    Can I confess something? I tell you this as a madman bent on destroying everything around me, I think you'll understand. Sometimes, when I'm driving a living, magical schoolbus... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The magical, cartoon rainbow. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline...

    mBeow.gif
  • edited April 2010
    Can I confess something? I tell you this as a madman bent on destroying everything around me, I think you'll understand. Sometimes, when I'm driving a living, magical schoolbus... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The magical, cartoon rainbow. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline...

    joker-clap.gif

    You win the topic, sir.
  • edited April 2010
    So... Kane versus Joker?
  • edited April 2010
    You win the topic, sir.
    Wonderful. As the Bloody King of the Desk of Andrew Ryan, I demand that it be renamed the Desk of Rather Dashing.
  • edited April 2010
    Wonderful. As the Bloody King of the Desk of Andrew Ryan, I demand that it be renamed the Desk of Rather Dashing.

    Now, now. Coups in places run by me tend to end poorly for all parties involved. Here's the news: Ryan's desk isn't some sunken piece of office furniture for you to pick through the drawers of and Andrew Ryan isn't a giddy OP who can be slapped around by Dashing muscle.
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