From the desk of Andrew Ryan...

245

Comments

  • edited April 2010
    I put it to you Mr Ryan; that because Rapture is so far under the Atlantic Ocean that the structure is impossible to construct in the form we've seen it (long glass tunnels etc) due to massive water pressure.

    Also the guys over at Atlantis have been saying for years that you're just ripping there thing off
  • edited April 2010
    It's not just glass, it's SuperGlass™!

    A product of Ryan Industries.
  • edited April 2010
    I feel bad for the guys who have to clean all the crustaceans and general underwater goo off the glass
  • edited April 2010
    JedExodus wrote: »
    I feel bad for the guys who have to clean all the crustaceans and general underwater goo off the glass

    There are no such guys! SuperGlass™ is naturally unpleasant for crustaceans, barnacles, and algae to adhere to!
  • edited April 2010
    Mr Ryan, are you really SHODAN in a waistcoat with a copy of Atlas Shrugged, like I've heard people (well, Yahtzee) say? I've gotta admit that would make you 1000% scarier.
  • edited April 2010
    JedExodus wrote: »
    I put it to you Mr Ryan; that because Rapture is so far under the Atlantic Ocean that the structure is impossible to construct in the form we've seen it (long glass tunnels etc) due to massive water pressure.

    Also the guys over at Atlantis have been saying for years that you're just ripping there thing off

    Mr. Exodus, let me preface this by stating that I believe you are now simply trying to antagonize me, a poor decision. However, as one did point out, we do have a solution to this issue...
    Pale Man wrote: »
    It's not just glass, it's SuperGlass™!

    A product of Ryan Industries.

    See? He even gave proper copyright credits. It's hard to believe he's not a sockpuppet, right?
    JedExodus wrote: »
    I feel bad for the guys who have to clean all the crustaceans and general underwater goo off the glass

    Again, I loathe you. Fret not, however, as Ryan Industries has thought of this...
    Pale Man wrote: »
    There are no such guys! SuperGlass™ is naturally unpleasant for crustaceans, barnacles, and algae to adhere to!

    See? See? This man earned himself a cushy job as the new CEO of Fontaine Futuristics. Can you clean out Alexander's old office and start immediately?
    Jen Kollic wrote: »
    Mr Ryan, are you really SHODAN in a waistcoat with a copy of Atlas Shrugged, like I've heard people (well, Yahtzee) say? I've gotta admit that would make you 1000% scarier.

    Mr. Kollic, though I hate to disappoint, I am not SHODAN and she would be most displeased if I referred to myself as a p...pp...perfect digi...DIGItal GoddessGODDESS. Do I make myself clear? I AM NOT SHODAN. MOVE ALONG.
  • TorTor
    edited April 2010
    JedExodus wrote: »
    the structure is impossible to construct in the form we've seen it (long glass tunnels etc) due to massive water pressure.
    Water pressure isn't an issue if you just make sure you have the same pressure on both sides of the glass! At least according to notable scientist Michael Crichton and his factual work "Sphere" from 1987. You pressurize the atmosphere inside to the same pressure as the water outside. As long as the human inhabitants are introduced to the heightened pressure gradually, their bodies acclimatize. Finally, you need to reduce your oxygen content in the atmosphere to prevent oxygen toxicity, and Bob's your uncle!
  • edited April 2010
    Tor wrote: »
    Water pressure isn't an issue if you just make sure you have the same pressure on both sides of the glass! At least according to notable scientist Michael Crichton and his factual work "Sphere" from 1987. You pressurize the atmosphere inside to the same pressure as the water outside. As long as the human inhabitants are introduced to the heightened pressure gradually, their bodies acclimatize. Finally, you need to reduce your oxygen content in the atmosphere to prevent oxygen toxicity, and Bob's your uncle!


    It's ok, SuperGlass™. Also, Plasmids ensure that air mixtures are no problem. Suffocating was a bit of an issue before splicing, though, I admit. For a bunch of geniuses, we were a little... um... dumb.
  • edited April 2010
    Where does all the waste in Rapture go, surely you're not polluting our oceans Mr Ryan? Such a move would be comparable to that of a parasite, one who takes and does not give back for there own benefit
  • TorTor
    edited April 2010
    I'd wager that's what the inhabitants eat. After all, in a modern society everything is recycled!
  • edited April 2010
    JedExodus wrote: »
    Where does all the waste in Rapture go, surely you're not polluting our oceans Mr Ryan? Such a move would be comparable to that of a parasite, one who takes and does not give back for there own benefit

    I believe I've got you there, friend. You see, we pump all of our waste approximately a kilometer into the geothermal vents of Hephaestus. By doing this, our waste that we cannot recycle is harmlessly immolated. Rapture is truly a green city!
  • edited April 2010
    Tor wrote: »
    I'd wager that's what the inhabitants eat. After all, in a modern society everything is recycled!

    Tor... May I call you Thor?
  • TorTor
    edited April 2010
    Tor... May I call you Thor?
    That is the correct spelling in the ancient Norse language, so I shall grant you that honor, Mr. Ryan.
  • edited April 2010
    Tor wrote: »
    That is the correct spelling in the ancient Norse language, so I shall grant you that honor, Mr. Ryan.

    Excellent. Unfortunately this means that I cannot allow you into Rapture. After all, it is a city where there are "No Gods or Kings, only Man." So sorry, friend.
  • edited April 2010
    Tor wrote: »
    That is the correct spelling in the ancient Norse language, so I shall grant you that honor, Mr. Ryan.

    I don't like it, you two are in cahoots. This guy's dodgy man, Alex Jones is gonna make a film about him any day now
  • TorTor
    edited April 2010
    Excellent. Unfortunately this means that I cannot allow you into Rapture. After all, it is a city where there are "No Gods or Kings, only Man." So sorry, friend.
    But... but... I'll create hardly any thunder, promise!

    ...lightning is another matter though.
  • edited April 2010
    JedExodus wrote: »
    I don't like it, you two are in cahoots. This guy's dodgy man, Alex Jones is gonna make a film about him any day now

    ಠ_ಠ
    Tor wrote: »
    But... but... I'll create hardly any thunder, promise!

    ...lightning is another matter though.

    Thor... How can I put this lightly? Um, the ability to create lightning is actually nothing special down here. The same goes for fire, bees, and ice. I would, however, wager that Mjolnir is much more effective than a wrench.
  • TorTor
    edited April 2010
    Thor... How can I put this lightly? Um, the ability to create lightning is actually nothing special down here.
    But that's why I've got to get in! I just want to be a normal guy, see? I just want to fit in... /emo
  • edited April 2010
    Tor wrote: »
    But that's why I've got to get in! I just want to be a normal guy, see? I just want to fit in... /emo

    Fine, fine. Just don't expect Daddy Odin to pull your ass out of any fires you might get in, okay? We're an atheist city, dammit. Also, read Atlas Shrugged. Also, be rich or you'll be miserable here, because that's how Objectivism works.
  • TorTor
    edited April 2010
    Hooray, acceptance!

    Wait...
    The same goes for fire, bees, and ice.
    bees
    bees
    BEES

    Hmm... swarms of bees in an enclosed space... bees... enclosed space...

    I'm out.
  • edited April 2010
    Tor wrote: »
    Hooray, acceptance!

    Wait...


    Hmm... swarms of bees in an enclosed space... bees... enclosed space...

    I'm out.

    ಠ_ಠ

    ...Big Daddy diving suit?
  • edited April 2010
    Can I shoot fire from my hands please?

    Well, to be honest, I only need it for my left hand, my right hand is often used for shooting things, obviously...
  • edited April 2010
    zmally wrote: »
    Can I shoot fire from my hands please?

    Well, to be honest, I only need it for my left hand, my right hand is often used for shooting things, obviously...

    Sure, I don't see why you can't. Do you have the ADAM for it?
  • edited April 2010
    I have a question I've been wondering for a while. Where's my Gore Verbinski directed Bioshock movie at, dammit!?
  • edited April 2010
    My theory is that Verbinski blew all his money at the Circus of Value and didn't have any left for the movie. EVE hypos and junk food aren't cheap, you know.
  • edited April 2010
    ...and thus the Great Chain of Industry moves forward! Seriously, the movie's in development hell. You'll see it when you see Peter Jackson's Halo and Evangelion movies.
  • edited April 2010
    And Guillermo Del Toro's At The Mountains of Madness and J.J. Abrams The Dark Tower.

    Mr. Ryan please recruit these great men to Rapture and then use your technogenius to FORCE THEM TO CREATE THESE WORKS OF ART. I want them strapped to chairs and electro-shocked until they submit to the forces of film industry progress.
  • edited April 2010
    Mr. Ryan, please splice these men together, and then FORCE THEM TO CREATE A HYBRID WORK OF GENIUS. I want them grafted together at the brain and forced to listen to to Lady Gaga songs as sung by Christopher Walken until they submit to the forces of my twisted, evil desires.
  • edited April 2010
    And Guillermo Del Toro's At The Mountains of Madness and J.J. Abrams The Dark Tower.

    Mr. Ryan please recruit these great men to Rapture and then use your technogenius to FORCE THEM TO CREATE THESE WORKS OF ART. I want them strapped to chairs and electro-shocked until they submit to the forces of film industry progress.

    Well, I'm just enough of a Lovecraft fan to oblige this request. Consider it done... as soon as the bathyspheres are up and running again.
    Mr. Ryan, please splice these men together, and then FORCE THEM TO CREATE A HYBRID WORK OF GENIUS. I want them grafted together at the brain and forced to listen to to Lady Gaga songs as sung by Christopher Walken until they submit to the forces of my twisted, evil desires.

    There's a reason that you're never getting invited to Rapture, Dashing...
  • edited April 2010
    Andrew Ryan. He'll get 'em hot; show 'em what he's got.
  • edited April 2010
    andrew ryan. He'll get 'em hot; show 'em what he's got.

    ಠ_ಠ
  • edited April 2010
    ಠ_ಠ

    play.3650.jpg
  • edited April 2010
    play.3650.jpg

    I hate you so very much, Dashing.
  • edited April 2010
    I hate you so very much, Dashing.
    Obviously you missed the link to one of the best musical performances ever done by a person who absolutely refuses to actually sing.
  • edited April 2010
    Obviously you missed the link to one of the best musical performances ever done by a person who absolutely refuses to actually sing.

    No, I saw Shatner perform Rocket Man.
Sign in to comment in this discussion.