Harry: Tell me the secret you took to your grave, Uncle Morty!
"Morty:" Harry Moleman! I've hidden my stamp collection...
Harry: Yes?
"Morty": In the attic...
Harry: Yes?!
"Morty": OF THE STATUE OF LIBERTY! (Thunder crashes)
I just got the callback joke! Doh. I have a memory like one of those things with lots of holes in. Thanks for reminding me.
"ONE! ZERO! ONE! ONE! ZERO! ...."
"ONE! ZERO! ONE! YOU KNOW WHAT? TO HELL WITH IT! TWO! YOU HEAR THAT? TWO!"
"TWO! TWO! TWO! THREE? NO THAT'D BE SILLY!"
I love almost every instance where Max uses his Psychic Ventriloquism. And Bluster Blaster's lines. But my favorite line from 304 is one of those lines you hear when you have the hints set to "high."
Sal: Guys? The Master's laughing at you. Sorry, but that's how it is.
Sam: "Public restrooms. Unholy temple to all things unsanitary. I wouldn't go in there for all the tea in Tea-Landia."
Max: "I'll do it!"
Sam: (after knocking out a Soda Poper) "That's a lot more entertaining when its not happening to me."
Max: "It's pretty entertaining either way."
Director: "...I'm going to have you do a scene from 'Old Yeller'. Please tell me you've seen it."
Sam: "I'm not into horror movies."
Sam: (looking at Bosco' food items) "Prune Nuts"
Max: (laughing hystericaly) "Oh, sorry, I was thinking of something else."
Sam: "Slugies! This week's flavors: Potion of Giant Strength & Elixir of Dwarven Flatulence."
Max: "False Advertising! I've drunken a gallon of the red one, and I still don't have giant strength!"
Sam: "Actually...The giant strength is the green one."
Max: "Oh...yeah."
Bosco: "I have the finest goods in all the land!"
Max: "Tell him we'll pay him to stop talking like that."
Bosco: "What would squire care to purchase?"
Sam: (in Christmas Past) "Maybe we should order a pizza for today."
Max: "Hello, we'd like to order a pizza delivered 6 months from now."
(In Christmas Future...Aiming gun at Future Sam)
Sam: "Nooo...thats just what I'd expect me to do."
Sam: (Using Nutri-Specs on Girl Stinky) "Weird!?"
Max: "What?"
Sam: "Acording to this, Stinky contains, asside from the usuall amount of Snark, Coffie Ice Cream, Tar and Fish Sticks; Stinky is actually chock full of...LOVE."
Max: "...Nah, you must be reading that thing wrong."
Sam: (after using Nutri-Specs & Max on Puding-Head Lincoln) "I don't know what's scarrier? The fact you lobotimized Pudding-Head Lincoln, or the fact that you did it without getting any puding on your fur?"
Max: "You worry too much Sam."
Sam: (looking at Purple tentacles) "It's too bad they're not green, I hear those are the friendly ones."
Sam: "Check this out Max."
(Sam shoots the distant coffee mug.)
Max: "Nice shot!"
Sam: "It's easy Max. I did it by 'aiming'."
Max: "AIM-ING...Never heard of it...is it a new technique?"
Sam: DO YOU REALISE WHAT THIS MEANS!?!?
Max: NO! BUT LET ME GUESS!!!!
Max: I’d like to mention my pal, Sam, and something that happened the other day!
Myra: Anecdotes about other celebrities — even ones as dubious as you two — are always welcome.
Max: Well, I was battering this purse-snatcher with a broken parking meter and screaming “Die! Why won’t you die!” and Sam said, “you crack me up, little buddy!”
Myra: The point being…?
Max: I crack Sam up!
Sam: Aw, it’s a cute little hypercephalic kitten.
Max: I’ll call him Mittens, because I think he’d make a fine pair of them.
Max: I’d like to mention my pal, Sam, and something that happened the other day!
Myra: Anecdotes about other celebrities — even ones as dubious as you two — are always welcome.
Max: Well, I was battering this purse-snatcher with a broken parking meter and screaming “Die! Why won’t you die!” and Sam said, “you crack me up, little buddy!”
Myra: The point being…?
Max: I crack Sam up!
Isn't that a reference to the Sam and Max: Freelance Police trailer?
Isn't that a reference to the Sam and Max: Freelance Police trailer?
I do believe it is! Not to mention if the click on that box on top of the filing cabinet in the office in...season two I think? I can't remember which season it was
Max: "Then what are we going to do with all those gallons of monster blood?"
Sam: "Make a grotesque slip-and-slide?"
Max: "Great idea! We'll call it, 'the Birth Canal!'"
Max: "Then what are we going to do with all those gallons of monster blood?"
Sam: "Make a grotesque slip-and-slide?"
Max: "Great idea! We'll call it, 'the Birth Canal!'"
Answering machine: Hey Max! It's Max, from the future. Just thought I'd warn you, don't forget the twelve monkeys! Oh, and tell Sam I said 'Hi'.
Sam: What was that all about?
Max: I'm making 'Twelve Monkey Chili'.
Sam: And do you usually forget to put the monkeys?
Max: No, I just forget to peel them.
303
Can't remember the whole seen but...
Creditcard!Max: All your corndogs are belong to me! *jumps into corndog pile*
304
Sam: Hmmm, a trash can...
Max: My psychic clue sense is tingling! *jumps in trash can*
Sam: *looks downward* You know I can't stand looking at you when you dig through garbage...
Max: No time to indulge your delicate sensibilities, Sam, look!
Sam: What is it?
Max: Hey hey, I just FIND the clues. And besides, I seem to have temporarily lost my ability to read.
Sam: A disturbing side effect of your psychic abilities?
Max:Nah, I just can't be bothered.
Couldn't remember the others off the top of my head, so I'll post them later.
I do believe it is! Not to mention if the click on that box on top of the filing cabinet in the office in...season two I think? I can't remember which season it was
Ah, yes. i remember that case. Particularly Gruesome.
Max: Sam either termites are burrowing through my skull, or one of us is ticking.
Sam: Oops, oh yeah. >pulls out the head bomb< Max where should I put this so it doesn't hurt anyone we know or care about?
Max: Out the window Sam, there's nothing but strangers out there.
>throws bomb out of window, bomb explodes<
Sam: I hope there was nobody on that bus.
Max: Nobody we know at least.
There is also a banang reference in episode 304: Beyond the alley of the dolls.
If you use a wrench on the machine thats down in the cloning facility, a bottle of banang comes out. Sam looks at it like he is in love but when he reaches for it the power cuts and the machine closes. When sam looks up you see max with the power cable in his hand.
There is also a banang reference in episode 304: Beyond the alley of the dolls.
If you use a wrench on the machine thats down in the cloning facility, a bottle of banang comes out. Sam looks at it like he is in love but when he reaches for it the power cuts and the machine closes. When sam looks up you see max with the power cable in his hand.
There is also a banang reference in episode 304: Beyond the alley of the dolls.
If you use a wrench on the machine thats down in the cloning facility, a bottle of banang comes out. Sam looks at it like he is in love but when he reaches for it the power cuts and the machine closes. When sam looks up you see max with the power cable in his hand.
Huh, I missed that. Ha! I'm gonna give that a try, thanks for that.
I'm surprised there aren't many Hit the Road lines in this thread.
Max: Mind If I drive?
Sam: Not if you don't mind me clawing at the dash and shrieking like a cheerleader.
Also,
Bumpus: I remember my childhood in Brighton...
When dear old Dad would bounce me on his knee
He'd say 'Son, there ain't nothin' as excitin'
As exposing beasts to inhumanity
That's- why- I'm-
Bumpus: Happy to be King of the Creatures!
I'm proud to be the Lord of the Odd!
I love collecting things with grotesque features!
It makes me feel like some Chaldean God.
Bumpus: Oh, I trapped my first tiger before I could speak.
Killed me a bear when I was three!
And now with this Bigfoot and giraffe-necked freak
I finally have a full menagerie!
{spoken} Hit it boys!
The Animals: That's- why- he's-
Happy being feared by the fauna
Jazzed just being Czar of the Bizarre
None of us can leave though we all wanna
Bumpus: Oh it's tough to be a country western star...
The Animals: Oh-, ye-ah-...
Sam: I thought I smelled that joke coming down the turnpike, burning oil and dragging its muffler.
Max: Make sure you wind-up enough. I don't want to have to do this twice.
Max: Did you check the car to see if it's okay for a long trip, Sam?
Sam: Well, the wheels are still on... and here's the ignition key--Everything checks out!
Chariots of the Dogs
Sam: We're going to have to work together and use every detective skill we know to find Bosco.
*cue 5 seconds of indiscriminate gunfire*
Flint: Well, that's a no-go. Any other ideas?
Sam: Wow, you know nothing says Royalty like wearing the living skin of an Underling, hehe can I try it?
Sam: You kill me little buddy
Max: Only if we are taken alive, Sam
Conroy Bumpus: I remember my childhood in Brighton, when dear old dad would bounce me on his knee. He'd say son there ain't nothing more exciting as exposing creatures to inhumanity. That's... why... I'm happy to be king of the creatures, I'm proud to be the lord of all, I love collecting things with grotesque features. It makes me feel like some Calvian god.
304: beyond the alley of the dolls:
sam: i dont think they are zombies max.
max: zombies, clones, robots who cares. Just as long as i get to shoo.. (clone hand comes through window) YIKES!
sam: I wonder what the deal is with these samulacra?
Max: I preffer Dogglegangers!
305: the city that dares not sleep:
Sam (in clone body on skunkape ship) Hmm, it seems skunkape's got his hands on some dogglegangers, i mean samulacra.
Comments
I just got the callback joke! Doh. I have a memory like one of those things with lots of holes in. Thanks for reminding me.
"ONE! ZERO! ONE! ONE! ZERO! ...."
"ONE! ZERO! ONE! YOU KNOW WHAT? TO HELL WITH IT! TWO! YOU HEAR THAT? TWO!"
"TWO! TWO! TWO! THREE? NO THAT'D BE SILLY!"
Sal: Guys? The Master's laughing at you. Sorry, but that's how it is.
Stinky: "It's Droopy and Stitch!"
Sam: "It turns out the secret is... aiming."
Max: [exasperated] "... what is this Canadian?"
Sam: "Public restrooms. Unholy temple to all things unsanitary. I wouldn't go in there for all the tea in Tea-Landia."
Max: "I'll do it!"
Sam: (after knocking out a Soda Poper) "That's a lot more entertaining when its not happening to me."
Max: "It's pretty entertaining either way."
Director: "...I'm going to have you do a scene from 'Old Yeller'. Please tell me you've seen it."
Sam: "I'm not into horror movies."
Sam: (looking at Bosco' food items) "Prune Nuts"
Max: (laughing hystericaly) "Oh, sorry, I was thinking of something else."
Sam: "Slugies! This week's flavors: Potion of Giant Strength & Elixir of Dwarven Flatulence."
Max: "False Advertising! I've drunken a gallon of the red one, and I still don't have giant strength!"
Sam: "Actually...The giant strength is the green one."
Max: "Oh...yeah."
Bosco: "I have the finest goods in all the land!"
Max: "Tell him we'll pay him to stop talking like that."
Bosco: "What would squire care to purchase?"
Sam: (in Christmas Past) "Maybe we should order a pizza for today."
Max: "Hello, we'd like to order a pizza delivered 6 months from now."
(In Christmas Future...Aiming gun at Future Sam)
Sam: "Nooo...thats just what I'd expect me to do."
Sam: (Using Nutri-Specs on Girl Stinky) "Weird!?"
Max: "What?"
Sam: "Acording to this, Stinky contains, asside from the usuall amount of Snark, Coffie Ice Cream, Tar and Fish Sticks; Stinky is actually chock full of...LOVE."
Max: "...Nah, you must be reading that thing wrong."
Sam: (after using Nutri-Specs & Max on Puding-Head Lincoln) "I don't know what's scarrier? The fact you lobotimized Pudding-Head Lincoln, or the fact that you did it without getting any puding on your fur?"
Max: "You worry too much Sam."
Sam: (looking at Purple tentacles) "It's too bad they're not green, I hear those are the friendly ones."
Sam: "Check this out Max."
(Sam shoots the distant coffee mug.)
Max: "Nice shot!"
Sam: "It's easy Max. I did it by 'aiming'."
Max: "AIM-ING...Never heard of it...is it a new technique?"
...OK, I'd better stop...for now.
Max: Don't say voilà.
It's not the best quote of them, but was the first time taht I heard that running gag, and I couldn't stop laughing.
Charlie: (as Cthonic Destroyer) I AM CTHONIC DESTROYER. YOU WILL PLEASE SHUT UP AND DIE.
Max: NO! BUT LET ME GUESS!!!!
Max: I’d like to mention my pal, Sam, and something that happened the other day!
Myra: Anecdotes about other celebrities — even ones as dubious as you two — are always welcome.
Max: Well, I was battering this purse-snatcher with a broken parking meter and screaming “Die! Why won’t you die!” and Sam said, “you crack me up, little buddy!”
Myra: The point being…?
Max: I crack Sam up!
Sam: Aw, it’s a cute little hypercephalic kitten.
Max: I’ll call him Mittens, because I think he’d make a fine pair of them.
Isn't that a reference to the Sam and Max: Freelance Police trailer?
I do believe it is!
Sam: "Make a grotesque slip-and-slide?"
Max: "Great idea! We'll call it, 'the Birth Canal!'"
Ugh, that one kind of grossed me out a bit XD
Agreed, but it crossed the line twice. As did almost everything else in Season 2.
Answering machine: Hey Max! It's Max, from the future. Just thought I'd warn you, don't forget the twelve monkeys! Oh, and tell Sam I said 'Hi'.
Sam: What was that all about?
Max: I'm making 'Twelve Monkey Chili'.
Sam: And do you usually forget to put the monkeys?
Max: No, I just forget to peel them.
303
Can't remember the whole seen but...
Creditcard!Max: All your corndogs are belong to me! *jumps into corndog pile*
304
Sam: Hmmm, a trash can...
Max: My psychic clue sense is tingling! *jumps in trash can*
Sam: *looks downward* You know I can't stand looking at you when you dig through garbage...
Max: No time to indulge your delicate sensibilities, Sam, look!
Sam: What is it?
Max: Hey hey, I just FIND the clues. And besides, I seem to have temporarily lost my ability to read.
Sam: A disturbing side effect of your psychic abilities?
Max:Nah, I just can't be bothered.
Couldn't remember the others off the top of my head, so I'll post them later.
Ah, yes. i remember that case. Particularly Gruesome.
"Hit the Road" intro.
There is also a banang reference in episode 304: Beyond the alley of the dolls.
If you use a wrench on the machine thats down in the cloning facility, a bottle of banang comes out. Sam looks at it like he is in love but when he reaches for it the power cuts and the machine closes. When sam looks up you see max with the power cable in his hand.
Need a Dispenser here!
Max: Mind If I drive?
Sam: Not if you don't mind me clawing at the dash and shrieking like a cheerleader.
Also,
Bumpus: I remember my childhood in Brighton...
When dear old Dad would bounce me on his knee
He'd say 'Son, there ain't nothin' as excitin'
As exposing beasts to inhumanity
That's- why- I'm-
Bumpus: Happy to be King of the Creatures!
I'm proud to be the Lord of the Odd!
I love collecting things with grotesque features!
It makes me feel like some Chaldean God.
Bumpus: Oh, I trapped my first tiger before I could speak.
Killed me a bear when I was three!
And now with this Bigfoot and giraffe-necked freak
I finally have a full menagerie!
{spoken} Hit it boys!
The Animals: That's- why- he's-
Happy being feared by the fauna
Jazzed just being Czar of the Bizarre
None of us can leave though we all wanna
Bumpus: Oh it's tough to be a country western star...
The Animals: Oh-, ye-ah-...
Max: Make sure you wind-up enough. I don't want to have to do this twice.
Max: Did you check the car to see if it's okay for a long trip, Sam?
Sam: Well, the wheels are still on... and here's the ignition key--Everything checks out!
Max: For the last time, Sam, no! I...oh, you meant with the Monster. Yeah, okay.
Bosco:hmmmm. Celine Dion?
Oh, wait, I just remembered anothet good one with ventriloquism...
Maximus: (Ventriloquism on Sameth) "George, Tell me about the rabbits..."
Max: I'm a trout, stupid!
Fisherman: Holy Trout!
Sam: We're going to have to work together and use every detective skill we know to find Bosco.
*cue 5 seconds of indiscriminate gunfire*
Flint: Well, that's a no-go. Any other ideas?
Max: Where are we going Sam?
Sam: Nowhere, nevermind.
Max: We may be going nowhere, but at least we're making good time!
Max: I'll drive!
Sam: Not while I'm alive.
Max: Exactly.
Also, pretty much everything they say when firing the missiles in the War Room.
Sam: You kill me little buddy
Max: Only if we are taken alive, Sam
Conroy Bumpus: I remember my childhood in Brighton, when dear old dad would bounce me on his knee. He'd say son there ain't nothing more exciting as exposing creatures to inhumanity. That's... why... I'm happy to be king of the creatures, I'm proud to be the lord of all, I love collecting things with grotesque features. It makes me feel like some Calvian god.
sam: i dont think they are zombies max.
max: zombies, clones, robots who cares. Just as long as i get to shoo.. (clone hand comes through window) YIKES!
sam: I wonder what the deal is with these samulacra?
Max: I preffer Dogglegangers!
305: the city that dares not sleep:
Sam (in clone body on skunkape ship) Hmm, it seems skunkape's got his hands on some dogglegangers, i mean samulacra.
Sam: I've got a great idea involving you, a microwave, and 6 feet of aluminum foil.
Max: Go on...
Sam: Maybe another time.
Absolutley anything Bluster Blaster has said ever, but my favorite is
CEASE THIS AT ONCE!!! OR DON'T WHATEVER!!!
Sam: what do nightmares taste like?
max: pepsi
So many to choose...
Dr. Norrington: ...pennies?
Best scene in episode 5.
Actually, it's Dr. Norrigton who says that
Fixed it.
Max: Sam...(rest of sentence)
(aka I'm not bothered to think of any)
Max: We're NOT like that! We're just REALLY good friends!