Perfect opening you built the tension slowly and introduced the characters perfectly love seeing their interactions and the section about their normal life having fun definitely helped me connect to the characters and was fascinating to learn more about the characters
Perfect grammar and spacing really easy and enjoying experience reading
The story is creative and innovative not using TWD cast but you own so applauds for that
You built the tension slowly so it made the action and drama more exciting and unexpected really edge of my seat stuff that ending I'm still in shock just great and so surprising
I like the way your story has a big focus on the characters over endless meaningless violence you actually made me care and feel for the characters plight so the end made me feel so much.
Overall
Thanks for the share that story really made me feel and I really what to see whats happens next just excellent your very talented writer :
Well, here goes. Hopefully I won't abandon this one like I did the other one. I also might not get any feedback since Markd is banned for so… moreme reason, but whatever. Maybe I'll get some from other people.
THE WALKING DEAD
PROLOGUE
"Has anyone ever told you that you look like Anne Hathaway?"
"Yes, a few, but mostly you."
The brown-haired woman who did in FACT look like Anne Hathaway grinned from across the table, right at her husband Matthew Andrews. The blonde man with the blue baseball cap smiled back, showing a grin that made it increasingly obvious he didn't brush his teeth today. The two sat in a Wendy's, just having seen a movie on their first date in a while. The two had been married for 9 years now, and haven't had a date since....
A year? Maybe? Emily Andrews couldn't quite remember, so she took a sip from her Coca-Cola, still looking at Matthew across the table. He looked at her with that dopey grin again, and she al… [view original content]
And I do have six parts already up on Wattpad, so I don't know why it took me so long to post Chapter 1. Anyways, I hope you enjoy Chapter 1 as much as you did this one.
Excellent
Perfect opening you built the tension slowly and introduced the characters perfectly love seeing their interactions and the sec… moretion about their normal life having fun definitely helped me connect to the characters and was fascinating to learn more about the characters
Perfect grammar and spacing really easy and enjoying experience reading
The story is creative and innovative not using TWD cast but you own so applauds for that
You built the tension slowly so it made the action and drama more exciting and unexpected really edge of my seat stuff that ending I'm still in shock just great and so surprising
I like the way your story has a big focus on the characters over endless meaningless violence you actually made me care and feel for the characters plight so the end made me feel so much.
Overall
Thanks for the share that story really made me feel and I really what to see whats happens next just excellent your very talented writer :
"Fuck me?! Fuck you motherfucker!" The angry bounty hunter across the room yelled out, just having tried to feel up a belly dancer in this fine bar. Jeffery Webb stood up, shaking his fist and sucking on his knuckles. Why the hell did he punch that guy? He had asked himself that on multiple occasions, as the former SWAT officer had a minor temper. "Listen, Dex, I don't wanna do this. Just need you to pay attention to Lia instead of trying to sex up the dancers." He replied, flipping his long brown hair to the side of his face. The Lia he was referring to was Dex's girlfriend, but the self-proclaimed bounty hunter had some serious women issues. Dex was only nineteen, he really shouldn't be treating women like this or saying he was a bounty hunter at all. That really gets you no respect, especially with a squeaky voice like that. Okay, so maybe it wasn't squeaky, but it wasn't some gruff badasses voice. Dex pounded his fist into the palm of his hand, and simply grew angrier. "Fuck you Jeff!" He swung a fist at the pretty boy, but Jeff dodged and weaved away.
Jeff responded to Dex's attack by throwing a fist into his stomach, and Dex's only "witty" comeback this time was a release of air from his windpipe, and another scowl at Jeff. He couldn't believe this fucker was humiliating him in front of all these people. Why didn't anyone help him, anyways? They just sat back and watched, choosing sides and egging them on. Even the belly dancer he had just "flirted" with was smiling and egging Jeff on. Dex was thrown into a fit of rage, grabbed a beer bottle from the bar, and swung it into Jeff's head. This time, the SWAT officer could not dodge, and he grabbed at his hair, now bloody and matted. "Fucking shit Dex!" He screamed out in pain, and he was ready to fall over and give up. But Dex had a certain look in his eyes, one that didn't look like he was going to give mercy. He grinned wildly, and held the broken bottle like a knife. He stabbed at Jeff, but instead killed dust particles as Jeff jumped back. He saw the belly dancer running up behind Dex, but she was stopped by another man. "Don't help! Dex'll kill you too!" They cried out, just as Dex lifted his sunglasses to his head.
"You've been a thorn in my side since day one Jeff. Now, I'm clipping you."
Jeff was then met by a tire iron being tossed to him, and he looked to see a large black man nodding to him. Thank god for Hodge. "Fuck him up Jeff." Hodge said. Hodge had been one of Jeff's old friends way back before the apocalypse. One of his SWAT buddies, as they said, despite Hodge being apart of normal detective work. The tire iron Jeff had just received was going to be the most help he got in this fight. People around Crawford didn't tend to get involved in other's fights. Respect thing, he always guessed. Jeff smiled, then turned to Dex, his vision getting hazy from the bottle hit. Dex stabbed the air again, and Jeff swung the tire iron. It swung into the air like the bottle, and Jeff stumbled past the teenager. Dex rose the bottle up and just grazed Jeff's arm, enough to get a piece of glass stuck in the skin. "Gah, shit." Jeff cried out, and Dex raised his bottle for the final blow. Jeff dodged again, as the bottle swung through think air. "Goddammit Jeff!" Dex cried out, and Jeff spun around to swing his tire iron. It went slamming into a table, sending a group Crawford citizens running scared. Jeff pulled it out one last time before Dex stabbed at him again. Jeff swung the tire iron, which hit Dex right in the face, but not before the bottle went into Jeff's stomach. Cries from Dex were heard, and even more cries for Jeff's well being sounded away throughout the bar. "Ah, shit Jeff! Why did, why did you do that?! Why did you do that! It hurts so bad! It hurts so fucking bad!" Dex cried out, tears welling up in his now one eye. His other had been dislodged with the tire iron, it hanging by it's cord from his eye socket. Blood was scattered throughout the bar, and the bartender rushed people out. "Jesus Christ. Someone get one of the prefects!"
Matthew looked at Dex's now deceased body, lying slumped up on the floor of the bar. Jeff had already been courted off to the infirmary, and the belly dancer had told the whole story. She had backup from Hodge, the bartender and a few others as well, but Matthew didn't need their assurance. He believed that Dex would pull something like this. But he had never thought it would've killed him. Matthew cringed at the bloody sight, and pulled out his pistol for what he had been prepared to do. Sam stepped up beside him, and gave him a sad look. "You sure you don't want me to do it?"
"No, it's okay. I've already done it, Y'now. Can't hurt to do it again."
It was true that Matthew had shot someone before they turned once ago. But that was different. He had shot an old man, one who died of old age. But this, this was a boy. This was Dex. He was arrogant, sure, and he got in way over his head, but nonetheless, he was just a kid and he was still learning. He didn't deserve to die. Matthew cocked the pistol, loading a round into the chamber. He fired a shot off into Dex's head, just before the poor boy could turn. Matthew and Sam walked for the door, as they walked for the hotel. Hopefully there wouldn't be anymore disturbances tonight.
"You feeling better?"
It was a woman's voice, that sounded vaguely familiar. Jeff woke up from his temporary comatose, his eyes now adjusting to the light. The last thing he remembered was swinging a tire iron at some blurry object that looked like the kid, then some sharp object getting thrown into his abdomen. He soon realized it still hurt there, and he grabbed at it, now feeling bandages over his shirtless body. Jeff sat up in his hospital bed, and then looked down to his jeans and bloody bandages wrapped around his stomach. Turning to see the voice that had woke him, he saw the belly dancer from the bar, Aceyla. He decided to answer her question. "I guess. Still got a cramp in my back though, and my stomach's a little bloody." Aceyla nodded, then sat back down in the chair beside his bed. "Dex is dead." She said, scratching her hair. Jeff's eyes widened and he looked at the ceiling. "Shit. I didn't mean to kill him. Honest to god. The kid was an idiot, but he didn't deserve to die."
Aceyla frowned and shook her head. "He had to die. If you hadn't swung that tire iron, you'd be dead."
"Fucking hell he did! Sure, he tried to stab me, but he didn't need to die. I didn't even think a tire iron could kill someone like that."
"It hit the corner of his eye. His eye popped out of his skull, and he bled out mumbling to himself. Don't beat yourself up over this, Hun."
Jeff sat staring at the ceiling. He honest to God didn't want to kill Dex. He didn't. He maybe would have messed him up a little bit, but did he want to kill him? No. He didn't. But Dex was dead, and Jeff could only focus on one word that the Arabic woman with the pale skin and red hair had said. "Hun?" He looked at her, and she smiled slyly. "See ya later." Jeff smiled then plopped back down on his bed, thinking of the beautiful woman as she stepped out the infirmary doors. Soon, his mind drifted back to how he had just KILLED a teenager. Here he was, a grown man, having just killed a stupid kid, and all he could think about was boning the belly dancer. He grabbed his hair slowly, as it still hurt to move, and lightly pulled it. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" Jeff stated out loud, and his ears perked up to steps echoing towards him.
"What is wrong with you Jeffery?"
Jeff noticed that voice from anywhere. The community's ever so loving "father" Oberson Crawford. Jeff sat up again with much difficulty, and peered into the beady eyes of the middle-aged man. "What is it Crawford?" He asked gruffly, and the old man grimaced. "I heard you killed Dex. He was one of our best shooters."
Jeff frowned at Oberson's words, and started to defend himself. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to honestly. He started touching the belly dancers and they didn't want him to, so I punched him. He tried to kill me with a broken bottle, and I accidentally knocked his eye off."
Crawford smiled and put a hand on Jeff's shoulder. "No, Jeffery. I'm not here to take you to the dungeon. I'm here to thank you."
"What?"
"Dex was weak. He didn't belong here in Crawford. Kicking him out would be terrible, but him basically killing himself? Wonderful!"
Jeff sputtered. What the hell was Crawford talking about? This was messed up. Jeff looked at Crawford, who was now waving goodbye and walking out the doors. He plopped back down on his back, thinking about the teenager he killed and Crawford's words.
This is the best fanfic I have ever read I'd even go as far to say if telltale sold your story as a season of TWD I would pay full price and would be delighted with my purchase I wished you wrote season 2 you have a lot more talented then their writers and be a much better story it's been an absolute honor reading this.
And dude! Don't go saying crazy stuff like that, you'll get me banned or sued or imprisoned or something! I wanna live man!
But thanks, and I can't to hear what you have to say on the other thingys. Eeee I'm so happy you've made my daaaaay. And yippee, I got a 10!
Too much, too...
Thank you! THANK YOOOOOOU!
This is the best fanfic I have ever read I'd even go as far to say if telltale sold… more your story as a season of TWD I would pay full price and would be delighted with my purchase I wished you wrote season 2 you have a lot more talented then their writers and be a much better story it's been an absolute honor reading this.
And dude! Don't go saying crazy stuff like that, you'll get me banned or sued or imprisoned or something! I wanna live man!
But thanks, and I can't to hear what you have to say on the other thingys. Eeee I'm so happy you've made my daaaaay. And yippee, I got a 10!
sry for the delay in the last few reviews I have been so busy lately random stuff and thangs AHHH but tomorrow I'll finish the rest I'll try to get time
(I'm going to go ahead and sell out right now, and ask if you can check out my interactive fanfic Humane, as it pertains with the same main character and general plot line.)
The Walking Dead: City of Fools
CHAPTER 3
"Come on, Ryker, you just throw the rock and break the window. When you do that, I give you the stuff you want. That's the deal." The high-octane girl that was jitteriness up and down at least once a second, called out to her "friend." The sixteen year old girl licked her lips, and brushed back her wispy blond hair. Her eyes were lined with bags, due to her rarely ever sleeping. She wore a blue tank top and denim shorts, and had gotten the nickname of "Sugar High." Her real name was Rachel White, but she for some reason preferred Sugar High. She had this one drug, that she had always called "High in the Sky" but everyone knew it was little less then cocaine mixed with Mountain Dew then dried. No one knew where she got it from, but no one cared. She said before she had made the stuff before the apocalypse, She didn't rely on getting tons of scraps and food or whatever else the hell they had in Crawford, no, instead she made people pay by doing strange jobs, such as the one she was subjecting poor nineteen year old Ryker here to now. The boy had once been a successful high-school student, a pretty boy with a brother in the military. He had always wished to be a pilot and was in the ROTC, but he never got his chance. Instead, this fucked up world had bashed the brown-haired boy straight in the head, and had thrown him into the world of drugs just to get his kicks. His hand twitched, one of the obvious signs of withdrawal. He needed some now. He needed some of that "High in the Sky" or whatever the fuck this girl called it. He needed it, but he really didn't want to throw the rock at the window. "I don't know. It wouldn't be right. Could I do something else?" He asked nervously, his eyes shifting back and forth across the dark road.
"No, you dipshit. You do what I ask you to, or you don't get the drugs." Sugar High scowled, and spat on Ryker's shoe. "Throw the rock." Ryker held the rock in his hand tightly, and looked back and forth across the road once more, then towards the hotel window. The window he was supposed to be throwing it at was the very bottom one, right where Logan was currently sleeping in. He always sat at the clerk's desk during the day, but at night the old man had retreated to his own special quarters. Ryker didn't want to break the poor old man's window, but he REALLY needed a fix. "Look, Sugar, can we-"
"Sugar? Ooh, I like that name already my more than just a friend." Sugar High licked her lips and inches a little bit closer to Ryker, who in turn inched a little aways. "Fuck you! I didn't-"
Ryker was cut off once more by Rachel's obvious immatureness. "Oh, this just get's better and better. Fuck me you say? Certainly!" She squealed in delight, obviously having fun toying with Ryker. Ryker grimaced, but turned his head back to the window. "Fine, I'll just throw the rock." He said, breathed out, and held the rock tighter. Sugar High smiled, obviously getting her kicks out of watching this go down. "Come on, throw it, throw it! I wanna see glass start shatterin!" Her eyes lit up as the rock flew across the sky, hitting straight into Logan's room. "What the hell!?" A muffled cry came out from Logan's room, and Sugar High roared with laughter. "Oh my god, I can't believe you actually threw the rock!" She squealed in delight, then started running off into the darkness. "You following?" She called back to Ryker, who turned and started to run after her. Shit. Had he actually done that? Did he really just vandalize a sweet old man's home? Ryker shook his head at himself in disgust, and shuddered as he ran.
The two runners bumped past bystanders and leaped over long-broken cars. They kept running until they eventually reached an old alleyway, and hid inside. "Well shit, wasn't that a rush! Woo! Hell yeah! Makes me want to swear. Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! Fucking booyah!" The blonde girl started spouting out, as Ryker just stared at her with startled eyes. Apparently, she only considered fuck as a swear word, and throwing a rock at a window was a rush. His eyes shined, and his entire body shook. First the effects of drug withdrawal had affected him, and now the fear of being caught by one of the prefects scared him even more. Ryker looked around, and then suddenly turned as he heard a loud clanging sound. There was Sugar High, jumping on top of a trash can and climbing up a broken ladder. She beckoned him with her hand, and he reluctantly followed. What did this crazy girl want him to do now?! Ryker scoffed in disgust, climbed on top of the trash can, then looked up at the broken ladder. He jumped, and grabbed the bottom rung on the first try. The boy quickly pulled himself up, climbing up the long ladder, as the girl up ahead climbed like a monkey. And those tight shorts she was wearing really made him feel uncomfortable. "Goddammit." He thought aloud, and she looked back at him. "What? Cut yourself?" Sugar High's eyes followed where he was staring, and her lips curled into a smirk. "Oh, so you like what you see, no?"
"You're fucking insane." Ryker replied, scowling, as the two continued up the long ladder. "That's true. I used to take a lot of....substances. It's ah, a wonder I didn't overdose. Or, something like that. Can you overdose on crack? I just wanna know. I don't think you coul-"
"You can probably overdose on anything." The boy below her said, just as she reached the top of the building. Ryker climbed up after also, and they both stood up on the very top of the building. Ryker noticed cans, stacked up upon one another, like target practice. "Now what?" He asked, as Sugar High handed him a pistol. "Shoot those cans right here. Think of'em like walkers, just a bang and their done!" She squeaked off, and Ryker stared at the cans dumbfounded. First of all, how did she get the gun? It was only for prefects, and the rest were locked up tight. Second of all, what was the fucking point of this? He held the gun up and pointed it at the cans, just as the crazy girl started playing something on her radio. An old Elvis song started playing, and Sugar High mumbled something about the classics.
"You ain't nothing but a hound, dog."
Bang! One can down.
"Cryin' all the time."
Bang! Ryker missed the next one, and readied his pistol again.
"You ain't nothing but a, hound, dog."
Ryker hit the can on his next shot, then pointed it to the next stack.
"Cryin' all the time."
Ryker missed, as he fired off three shots that all missed the can. Sugar High yelled something about him shooting like a girl, and he frowned.
"Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit an' you ain't no friend of mine!"
Ryker shot the last cans off of their pedestals, and the music died down from Sugar High kicking the radio. "You said you was high class! But that was just a lie!" She screamed out, clapping and clapping to herself. Ryker squinted, and held his hand out. "Can I have it now?"
Sugar High frowned, but she reached into her back pocket and handed him a bag of green cocaine. "It's the good stuff, alright?" She smiled, and pushed him back. "Now get out of here. You smell bad, and your stinking up my place."
Didn't want to litter the entire thread by the stuff I wrote, mostly because I wasn't sure when or if I could post it, but now that it's done, I'd love to hear your opinions about it. Let me know if I should grab my umbrella.
Clementine looked at the girl Michelle as she held a gun at her face. The gas station bathroom was dirty beyond belief with blood, shit and a mix of everything else... Michelle was ransacking Clementine's backpack looking for supplies. Like she'd give a fuck about a nine year old girl. "Is this your daddy? What a bozo." The girl said as she found a picture of Lee. Clementine found herself feeling... a mix of feelings. Anger, sadness, grief... And she had the nerve to say that about Lee? The man who did so much for her?
The door creaked open... Omid crept his way into the bathroom as Michelle continued her looting. Clementine looked fearfully at him... Her face seemed to plead, "Do something Omid!" Omid did, sneaking his way up to Michelle. Suddenly, the door flew shut just as a gunshot rang out...
Clem blinked for a second before seeing Michelle choking and gargling on her own blood with Omid looking in shock. He was so sure he would've died...
Suddenly the door flew open. Christa ran in, armed with a rifle, to see Michelle dying as Omid and Clementine looked at her.
"What the fuck happened in here?" She demanded anxiously.
"I... I dunno, babe, I dunno..." Omid responded. The door shut behind Christa. The two discussed what happened as Clementine tried to calm herself down...
Someone knocked on the door, slowly and surely. It scared the shit out of everyone again.
"What the..." Christa muttered.
"Look, I know y'all are in here," a deep-voiced man said impatiently.
"Christa, go hide in back with Clem," Omid whispered as he took the rifle from Christa.
"I can hear y'all. And I ain't gonna do y'all any harm. I just want to know if that bitch holding up your girl is dead or not. Is she?"
Omid and Christa looked at each other , shocked beyond all belief, for a few seconds, before Christa replied, "Who is this?"
"I ain't gonna hurt you, I said." The man replied. He sighed and added, "Name's Nathaniel. Do you plan on keeping me outside? Is that bitch dead? Is her brain destroyed? Tell me dammit."
Clem:
[A. ...] [B. She's dead!] [C. I hope he's not bad.] [D. Can we trust him?]
Markd... Remember that time I promised you I would write something for this...
Well you're in luck... Because I just started The Walking Dead: The World Behind Us
Sadly it'll be released in a week or so...
BUT, I MANAGED TO MAKE A PREVIEW OF THE FIRST CHAPTER:
It was just you (Kyle), James, Kenneth and Adrian out hunting, it was summer and the sun was shining, you hadn’t shot much yet, only two 7-point bucks.
“We’ve gotta step up our game! We’re not shooting shit.” James complained.
“You’re one to say that? You haven’t shot shit yet, only Adrian and I managed to hit anything!” Kenneth grinned.
“Sshh.” Adrian said as he aimed his rifle towards a 11-point buck.
BLAM!
“Now that’s how you do it.” Adrian grinned as the four of you walked over to the buck.
Adrian and James started lifting the buck, Kenneth started whistling a hunters song, you spotted a 9-point buck eating some grass in the distance, you aimed at it and…
BLAM!
“Kenneth, you gonna help me get this 9-point buck to the truck?” You asked him.
“Sure.” He answered and the two of you walked over to the buck.
That's it, it's just a small part of the chapter, also I can spoil that one these people ain't gonna make it through this chapter.
@Markd4547 are you ready? BECAUSE THIS IS IT.
The Walking Dead: The World Behind Us.
Chapter 1: No going back.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sjRykhkPnc2IPb2AE-iKb76qLjnPPnyhk6b-VVCUjPE/edit
I loved them chapters they had solid plots really innovative and original with great character depth in terms of this one I loved Ryder and Rachel just fascinating learning about their personalities and how they interacted in such a world I can't wait to see more of these. I'm starting to really connect and hope the characters have a bright future and are safe in further installments and that is all down to the talent of the writing. Anyway thanks for the share I'm real excited to see where you take this
(I'm going to go ahead and sell out right now, and ask if you can check out my interactive fanfic Humane, as it pertains with the same main … morecharacter and general plot line.)
The Walking Dead: City of Fools
CHAPTER 3
"Come on, Ryker, you just throw the rock and break the window. When you do that, I give you the stuff you want. That's the deal." The high-octane girl that was jitteriness up and down at least once a second, called out to her "friend." The sixteen year old girl licked her lips, and brushed back her wispy blond hair. Her eyes were lined with bags, due to her rarely ever sleeping. She wore a blue tank top and denim shorts, and had gotten the nickname of "Sugar High." Her real name was Rachel White, but she for some reason preferred Sugar High. She had this one drug, that she had always called "High in the Sky" but everyone knew it was little less then cocaine mixed with Mountain Dew then dried. No one knew where she got it … [view original content]
TWD.
Title: Out of the past, part 2.
Main Characters: Kenny, and Jim.
Timeline: Right after the events of part 1.
Subject: Preparation, and inward danger.
The moon has just risen over the horizon, and Kenny, Clementine, Jim and Dave are in the command center, making preparations for the on coming battle.
Having a map of the compound and and surrounding area laid out on the table in front of them, Kenny begins, " When the attack begins, the convoy will more than likely direct the bulk of their attack against the south wall, as it's are most vulnerable."
"And will probably send out skirmish attacks, to try and gauge the strength of our people," Jim added.
"We've managed to gather a fresh supply of assault rifles, and and about 300lbs of ammo last spring, so we've got some good firepower," Dave observed.
"In the meantime, we should have everyone arm themselves with a pistol on their belt, a rifle for long range shooting, and a machete, in case it ends up being hand-to-hand," Clementine gested.
Straightening up, Kenny looked at Jim and asked,"AreOur people are all good with rifles and pistols, but what about actual fist fighting? Their all adept at taking out walkers, but fighting a man is different, as their not only smarter, but their also faster and more agile."
"I'll start a training regiment tomorrow," Jim replied.
"And Dave, how are we doin' on medical supplies," Kenny asked," As like it or not, people are bound to get hurt in this conflict."
"Our medical supplies are low. I was going to have another supply run made to get more, but then the convoy arrived," Dave replied.
"So we're gonna have to sneak out and get some more," Clementine noted.
After dismissing the meeting for the evening, Kenny posted a double guard on each before retiring to his family.
Over the next three days, Jim began conducting a training regiment for the group, while Kenny handled manning of the walls and inspection of the communities weapon's condition, while Clementine handled the supply runs for medical supplies.
As the weeks passed, Jim's training regiment grew harder and tougher.
Jim's motto was, " The more vicious you are in a fight, the better chance you have of winning."
Clementine began to worry about what affect this was having on her husband, as she noticed his attitude becoming more aggressive and violent.
Even Kenny began to worry, especially after the convoy launched a skirmish attack, and when driving them back, Kenny noticed on Jim's face, a a ruthless and vindictive look, as he gunned down 4 men.
One day, during a training exercise, Jim started beating on one of the students, who failed to keep his guard up during a defensive move.
After Kenny and some of the other students pulled Jim off him, Kenny dismissed the class, so he and Jim could speak in private.
After the class was dispersed, Kenny snapped, "What the hell was that Jim?!"
"I have kept telling him to keep his guard up, but he won't do it," Jim explained, "So I decided to show him the consequences would be for not doing so, and maybe he'll get it through his head."
"You're supposed to be training these people," Kenny barked, "Not abusing them!"
Jim glared at Kenny and said, "I'll tell you what Kenny, I won't tell you how to do your job, and you don't tell me how to do mine."
Kenny replied growled, "If I ever catch you abusig one of your students again like that, especially a young boy, you're gonna get your ass kicked."
Jim straightened up looking down on Kenny, as he was 6'4ft and 200lbs, while Kenny being only 5'10ft and 165lbs, and said, "You think you can stop me old man?"
Kenny, removed his eye patch, showing the hideous scar that had formed over his left eye socket, as a result from the horrendous beating he received from Carver 20 years earlier, hardened his gaze at Jim, and said in a strong, firm voice, "I can stop you."
Despite being the larger, stronger, and younger of the 2 men, Jim could see Kenny was still a forced to be reckoned with, even in his old age.
Without saying a word, Jim stormed off.
Over the next month, Kenny and Jim largely avoided each other.
Jim continued to train his classes, though mindful of Kenny's words.
When Kenny would pass by him, Jim hardened gaze would always follow after him, with anger and hatred for Kenny growing in Jim's heart.
One late afternoon, as the sun sank below t horizon, Kenny and Clementine stood atop of the west wall, watching the movement within the convoy camp.
"It's been 4 months,, they've cut off the main roads, what the hell are they still waiting for, "Clementine asked in a frustrated tone?
Kenny replied, "They know that the longer we're boxed in, the closer we get to tearing each other apart. That's what they're waitin'' for, and that's when they'll attack."
Staring off into the sunset, Clementine remarked, "Well at least our people are well trained, for when they do."
Kenny replied, "Jim knows his shit, that's for sure! But he's changing," Kenny continued, "into something violent, and ugly.
You realize that, don't you," Kenny asked?
Clementine, not wanting to acknowledge it, but she knew that what Kenny said was true.
She had often wondered what was happening to the man she married, and to the father of her child.
Clementine, with a sad expression on her face, just turned and walked away.
Kenny, watched her leave.
Though saddened to have to say that to her, Kenny knew that it was a reality she was going to have to come to terms with.
He turned his gaze back towards convoy, looking for anything that might give him a clue to what their next move would be.
From the convoy, Lilly eyed Eden, contemplating the fortresses weaknesses.
Charlie, now wearing a thick beard, stood beside her, also studying the place.
"When are we gonna attack," Lilly asked?
Charlie lowered his binoculars, and replied, "Soon."
TWD.
Title: Out of the past, part 1.
Main Characters: Kenny, Clementine, Jim, and a surprise character.
Timeline: 3 years after Reason… mores.
Subject: Old enemies, choices and loyalty.
As the sun rose over the community, a 65 year old Kenny begins work on repairing a headlight on his new Chevy Pickup.
Having always been a fan of Chevy vehicles, Kenny was overjoyed when he happened to find one that was still salvageable.
Over the past 9 months, he has fixed it up and worked diligently at keeping the engine well cared for, as well keeping the truck washed and polished on a regular basis, leaving Kelly to often remark: "He's like our son with a new toy."
Kenny son Lee, age 6, is often seen with his father, watching intently everything he does.
Kenny has begun to teach the boy about taking care of the truck, by having him wash it's tires.
As well teaching him how to play baseball.
Despite his advanced age, Kenny still acts … [view original content]
A very solid start I loved it
Spacing and grammar was perfect it was unbelievably easy to read and just a relaxing and enjoying experienc… moree reading it as spaced and written so well.
The unique characters and unique plot have to get respect for coming up with you own idea
The story line is great full of action and grips you from the stop which I loved as I have low concentration but couldn't keep my eyes off this
Just the right length which I loved the plot moved naturally and had perfect pacing without fillers much appreciated as a reader
Anyway chapter 1 solid start can't do a full review till your finished but I'm so excited to see what's to come your very talented
Originally posted in a "Make your Own Lee Dream Sequence" thread from several months ago.
A white mist clouds her vision, permeating through the nightmares that plague her. A looming figure materializes out of nothingness, but there are no weapons to grab to defend herself. The eerie silence that haunts this vast infinity fades away into a voice deep and fathomless. She reaches out to it with shaking hands.
"You are afraid" the voice says, unearthing itself from the depths of her memories until recognition washes over her.
"I-I thought you were a walker, coming to get me" she says. She bites her lip to keep her tears from falling. She is not a little girl anymore- she has to show him that she has learned to survive and be strong, to face this terror-filled world like he taught her to so long ago.
He seems to not hear this. "You are afraid everywhere you go. You hide it with new found strength and maturity, and I am so proud of you for it. But the dead-", he says, "-can see through the facade".
"Lee" she chokes out, fearing that saying his very name would cause him to disappear from her life as he once had. "It's all my fault. You're dead because of me, and all you did was protect me. Why couldn't I do the same for you?" she whispers.
A strong hand places itself on her shoulder, and only then does she realize that Lee is right there in front of her. She gently touches the cuff of his sleeve, afraid that he is intangible and that he will get swallowed up by the mist. But Lee is solid and as alive as he had ever been, a pulse pounding beneath his wrist. She remembers the last time she saw him- his eyes sunken in and his skin taut over his pale face. But now there is color on his cheeks and light stubble on his face, his warm eyes locked with hers.
"Clementine. Don't you ever blame yourself for what happened, don't you ever carry the mistakes I have made. If the cost for you surviving was my own life, I am glad that my death meant something important. To keep you safe, to give you the chance to run through those fields and out of Savannah. Know that you are strong, but know that feeling afraid is what keeps you human. Know that you are a light for humanity, and know that that is not enough. You will need to make hard decisions and come across bad people. I can't lie to you, Clementine-the path you are on won't be easy. But I know that when I found you in that tree house, I found a girl that will survive."
"But Lee, I can't! Everyone I come to know and care for dies and I can't stop it. All the names of those I've seen die haunt me. And I know that list will grow every day. What am I going to do?" she cries.
The world around her begins to dim, to crumble into darkness. Lee's voice seems far away as he says, "Do what I have taught you. Survive, be strong, have mercy and firmness when you need it. And never let this world take away who you are, Clementine."
"Wait! Please don't go! I need you, Lee" she sobbed. "I need you".
From what seemed like galaxies away, she heard: "You don't need me anymore, sweet pea."
Grammar and spacing perfect I spotted no errors and never got lost
Great pacing I was entertained and intrigued thorough the whole tale wanting to know more
So deep and intense throughout the whole story I love it
Use of TWD characters they behaved in a fashion I believe they would of acted or spoken so they felt realistic to me superb
Innovative idea with the dream and just really creatively written I got lost in your imagination reading this story and I enjoyed it very creative and superbly written
Short but sweet all thriller no filler
Psychology aspect the journey of acceptance for Clem and Lee instead of worrying of death he just cared how Clem dealt with it reassuring her and making her feel more inspired by his death then saddened just so beautiful:'D
You don't need me anymore, sweet pea
Love the ending my feels direct hit so simple yet so effective of sending in few words the message of this story Clem was always the chosen one Lee just enjoyed and cherished the time he got with her :'D
Overall
Genius writing Maddi but now I want MORE your one of the best writers I've seen yet your story is so short I think you really have potential if you wrote a full walking dead story to really make a masterpiece your talent deserves it :'D
Originally posted in a "Make your Own Lee Dream Sequence" thread from several months ago.
A white mist clouds her vision, permeating thro… moreugh the nightmares that plague her. A looming figure materializes out of nothingness, but there are no weapons to grab to defend herself. The eerie silence that haunts this vast infinity fades away into a voice deep and fathomless. She reaches out to it with shaking hands.
"You are afraid" the voice says, unearthing itself from the depths of her memories until recognition washes over her.
"I-I thought you were a walker, coming to get me" she says. She bites her lip to keep her tears from falling. She is not a little girl anymore- she has to show him that she has learned to survive and be strong, to face this terror-filled world like he taught her to so long ago.
He seems to not hear this. "You are afraid everywhere you go. You hide it with new found strength and maturity, and I am so proud of you… [view original content]
Just wanted to say to you and a lot of the writers involved in this little page of yours, that there are some real gems here. I was just poking around the sight, I'd noted your "antics" in Lee's page and decided I give this a peep just to see what was what. I immediately found a few that caught my attention right away and have now gone through every tab of your page to see how those stories progressed. I also found you input and critique to be very solid, informative, and spot on. Just wanted to say thanks to you and your contributors for the pleasant surprise. You guys keep writing and I'll definitely keep reading, heck, might even throw my two cents in one day.
XD I act completely different here btw I take everything seriously that's my fun thread
Thank you so much not just for the compliment but for taking the time to check out the awesome works I'm proud of every single one but that's down to the writers this place is just mean't to be an outlet to let your imagination go wild and create a TWD you want. A library of story's to read all in one place.
this thread is all about the writers for me I LOVE stories and because it's my thread and writers took the time to write something for it I feel obliged to give them a decent review and please do we need more stories
Markd
Just wanted to say to you and a lot of the writers involved in this little page of yours, that there are some real gems here. I wa… mores just poking around the sight, I'd noted your "antics" in Lee's page and decided I give this a peep just to see what was what. I immediately found a few that caught my attention right away and have now gone through every tab of your page to see how those stories progressed. I also found you input and critique to be very solid, informative, and spot on. Just wanted to say thanks to you and your contributors for the pleasant surprise. You guys keep writing and I'll definitely keep reading, heck, might even throw my two cents in one day.
crawfish killed my pet hamster by Bob Jones Nate asscheek bonbutt
Clementine: crawfish killed my pet hamster
Lee:I don't care
Clementine: good...sad face...
The end!
The Walking Dead: The World Behind Us, Volume 1: A Harder World, is finally finished, and I made one compendium kinda thing where you can read the whole volume in one, instead of reading each issue.
Hello there, fellow Stache-ists. Sorry for not posting new Fanfics for so long. But anyway, without further ado, here is my newest piece of art. This is just me messing around and seeing if I could make a simple raccoon story depressing.
From the eyes of a raccoon:
I left my young by the gravestones while I went to explore the abandoned building ahead. I nuzzled each one of their necks comfortingly before approaching the building cautiously. My nose twitched as I sniffed the air, tracking whatever animal or human that might have been in there before me. I stood at the entrance, taking in my surroundings before making my way inside. It was quiet. Almost peaceful. I swished my long black and white ringed tail and brushed it againsts the pillars, leaving my scent trail behind. The world was different now. Humans hadn't disturbed me before, I had brief encounters, but now whenever I went to raid someone's bin I'd find it empty. I could make as much noise as I wanted, knock over a few bins and no human would come running to scare me away. I saw less and less of them now. Which was a good thing, since I could go anywhere and do as I pleased without worrying about being run over by a car. There was the odd looking humans though. The ones that smelt of rotting flesh, the very stench would make my nostrils flare. Those were the ones to watch out for. They were every where. One got hold of me once. Tried to tare open my gut with it's bare hands. But I got away. They could never catch me. Can't say the same for my mate or the rest of my kin. I didn't always have two children, I actually had four. But one by one those awful, rotting humans took them from me. Chewed them up until there was nothing left but a bloody mangled corpse. Never again. My children will survive, even if I have to throw myself to the humans, then I will, just to protect them so that they can live. I'll die happily if it means my young will go on to have kin of their own. I continued to walk over the broken shards of glass, making sure not to cut my pads on any sharp edges. I couldn't help but notice that a few other animals had ran through here and used it as their own personal toilet, since there were several animal droppings scattered around the place. Some were fresh and gave off an odor. I paused for a moment once I reached a glass door. I glanced down at my paws and grimaced. If only I could open doors. Looks like I would have to take another route. I sniffed the ground, trying to make out any interesting smells when something caught my eye. My eyes only cease to function in black and white, but even I could make out the small group of people ducked behind a booth. I could smell them too. They weren't rotting ones, that was clear, although they did have a faint stench of it, but they didn't move liked the others. They didn't groan either, they spoke clearly in silent whispers that made my ears buzz.
They were alive
My basic instincts kicked in as growled at them. One of the humans flashed me a quick glance as I studied them closely. Yes, there were three, but I could out run them. I quickly darted to the corner of the room, the sound of cries and orders being yelled across the hall could be heard behind me as I hid. A small human came into view, glancing around the room before pointing me out. I had been discovered. I growled again and ran from my hiding spot. I avoided the man which was leaning over the booth and ran through the woman's legs. Just the little girl to dodge and then I would be home free. The little girl lunged for me but I dodged her prying hands and ran out of the building, ducking behind a few gravestones and calling out to my young. I then stood my ground in the centre of the graveyard and growled at the humans, in which one of them was aiming a gun directly at me. One shot and I would be dead. But that didn't matter to me. I could hear the movement of my young behind me and I would take a bullet for them if I had to. Go on, do it, I dare you. I egged the adult human on. The woman lowered the mans gun and warned him about the rotting humans that were lurking around. Ha. I knew he wouldn't do it. My two children came to my side, brushing themselves against my pelt and making their presences known. The humans were no longer a threat so I eased off. The three humans smiled fondly at my youngs innocence before we vacated the scene. That was an encounter I hadn't had in a long time and I would not likely forget it. I had missed being chased by them. It was sort of fun, but it'd probably never happen to me again. Then again, maybe it was better if I stayed away from them. After all, I didn't fancy being meal.
I rather enjoyed this..short true, but n interesting perspective on a scene from the game. a lot of animals are very, very clever and I've found it odd that the game doesn't include more. really liked this, thanks for the read.
Hello there, fellow Stache-ists. Sorry for not posting new Fanfics for so long. But anyway, without further ado, here is my newest piece of … moreart. This is just me messing around and seeing if I could make a simple raccoon story depressing.
From the eyes of a raccoon:
I left my young by the gravestones while I went to explore the abandoned building ahead. I nuzzled each one of their necks comfortingly before approaching the building cautiously. My nose twitched as I sniffed the air, tracking whatever animal or human that might have been in there before me. I stood at the entrance, taking in my surroundings before making my way inside. It was quiet. Almost peaceful. I swished my long black and white ringed tail and brushed it againsts the pillars, leaving my scent trail behind. The world was different now. Humans hadn't disturbed me before, I had brief encounters, but now whenever I went to raid someone's bin I'd find it empty. I could m… [view original content]
I am creating a interactive story(You and fellow members customize the story) and I can't do much unless i get more people to join. Only 2 people have signed up so i am stuck. If i can at least have you guys create a character, that be nice. I don't care if you vote or not, but it would help the story. I am a great writer and i'm testing out a new style/ Click this to get to the page. The story is called Gone in Seconds. Please help me out with this.
I am creating a interactive story(You and fellow members customize the story) and I can't do much unless i get more people to join. Only 2 p… moreeople have signed up so i am stuck. If i can at least have you guys create a character, that be nice. I don't care if you vote or not, but it would help the story. I am a great writer and i'm testing out a new style/
Click this to get to the page. The story is called Gone in Seconds. Please help me out with this.
Grammar and spacing was perfect it was a really enjoyable reading this story as everything was spaced out so well that I flew through it without getting bored or confused
So much killing
Innovative idea not using TWD characters and coming up with your own concept
Non-stop action from start to finish such an exciting read intense from start to finish
Full of cursing
So many twists and turns it was so exciting
That ending was just beautiful :'D(no spoilers)
My feels for grace D':
My favorite chapter was 6 non-stop action killing, shooting, cursing, grace coming back as a zombie and killing it was so epic for that chapter 10/10
Overall
I loved it your style it's full on action and killing just how I like it and I can't wait to read more overall 9/10
Comments
Excellent
Perfect opening you built the tension slowly and introduced the characters perfectly love seeing their interactions and the section about their normal life having fun definitely helped me connect to the characters and was fascinating to learn more about the characters
Perfect grammar and spacing really easy and enjoying experience reading
The story is creative and innovative not using TWD cast but you own so applauds for that
You built the tension slowly so it made the action and drama more exciting and unexpected really edge of my seat stuff that ending I'm still in shock just great and so surprising
I like the way your story has a big focus on the characters over endless meaningless violence you actually made me care and feel for the characters plight so the end made me feel so much.
Overall
Thanks for the share that story really made me feel and I really what to see whats happens next just excellent your very talented writer :
Yippee!
And I do have six parts already up on Wattpad, so I don't know why it took me so long to post Chapter 1. Anyways, I hope you enjoy Chapter 1 as much as you did this one.
THE WALKING DEAD: CITY OF FOOLS
CHAPTER 2
"Fuck me?! Fuck you motherfucker!" The angry bounty hunter across the room yelled out, just having tried to feel up a belly dancer in this fine bar. Jeffery Webb stood up, shaking his fist and sucking on his knuckles. Why the hell did he punch that guy? He had asked himself that on multiple occasions, as the former SWAT officer had a minor temper. "Listen, Dex, I don't wanna do this. Just need you to pay attention to Lia instead of trying to sex up the dancers." He replied, flipping his long brown hair to the side of his face. The Lia he was referring to was Dex's girlfriend, but the self-proclaimed bounty hunter had some serious women issues. Dex was only nineteen, he really shouldn't be treating women like this or saying he was a bounty hunter at all. That really gets you no respect, especially with a squeaky voice like that. Okay, so maybe it wasn't squeaky, but it wasn't some gruff badasses voice. Dex pounded his fist into the palm of his hand, and simply grew angrier. "Fuck you Jeff!" He swung a fist at the pretty boy, but Jeff dodged and weaved away.
Jeff responded to Dex's attack by throwing a fist into his stomach, and Dex's only "witty" comeback this time was a release of air from his windpipe, and another scowl at Jeff. He couldn't believe this fucker was humiliating him in front of all these people. Why didn't anyone help him, anyways? They just sat back and watched, choosing sides and egging them on. Even the belly dancer he had just "flirted" with was smiling and egging Jeff on. Dex was thrown into a fit of rage, grabbed a beer bottle from the bar, and swung it into Jeff's head. This time, the SWAT officer could not dodge, and he grabbed at his hair, now bloody and matted. "Fucking shit Dex!" He screamed out in pain, and he was ready to fall over and give up. But Dex had a certain look in his eyes, one that didn't look like he was going to give mercy. He grinned wildly, and held the broken bottle like a knife. He stabbed at Jeff, but instead killed dust particles as Jeff jumped back. He saw the belly dancer running up behind Dex, but she was stopped by another man. "Don't help! Dex'll kill you too!" They cried out, just as Dex lifted his sunglasses to his head.
"You've been a thorn in my side since day one Jeff. Now, I'm clipping you."
Jeff was then met by a tire iron being tossed to him, and he looked to see a large black man nodding to him. Thank god for Hodge. "Fuck him up Jeff." Hodge said. Hodge had been one of Jeff's old friends way back before the apocalypse. One of his SWAT buddies, as they said, despite Hodge being apart of normal detective work. The tire iron Jeff had just received was going to be the most help he got in this fight. People around Crawford didn't tend to get involved in other's fights. Respect thing, he always guessed. Jeff smiled, then turned to Dex, his vision getting hazy from the bottle hit. Dex stabbed the air again, and Jeff swung the tire iron. It swung into the air like the bottle, and Jeff stumbled past the teenager. Dex rose the bottle up and just grazed Jeff's arm, enough to get a piece of glass stuck in the skin. "Gah, shit." Jeff cried out, and Dex raised his bottle for the final blow. Jeff dodged again, as the bottle swung through think air. "Goddammit Jeff!" Dex cried out, and Jeff spun around to swing his tire iron. It went slamming into a table, sending a group Crawford citizens running scared. Jeff pulled it out one last time before Dex stabbed at him again. Jeff swung the tire iron, which hit Dex right in the face, but not before the bottle went into Jeff's stomach. Cries from Dex were heard, and even more cries for Jeff's well being sounded away throughout the bar. "Ah, shit Jeff! Why did, why did you do that?! Why did you do that! It hurts so bad! It hurts so fucking bad!" Dex cried out, tears welling up in his now one eye. His other had been dislodged with the tire iron, it hanging by it's cord from his eye socket. Blood was scattered throughout the bar, and the bartender rushed people out. "Jesus Christ. Someone get one of the prefects!"
Matthew looked at Dex's now deceased body, lying slumped up on the floor of the bar. Jeff had already been courted off to the infirmary, and the belly dancer had told the whole story. She had backup from Hodge, the bartender and a few others as well, but Matthew didn't need their assurance. He believed that Dex would pull something like this. But he had never thought it would've killed him. Matthew cringed at the bloody sight, and pulled out his pistol for what he had been prepared to do. Sam stepped up beside him, and gave him a sad look. "You sure you don't want me to do it?"
"No, it's okay. I've already done it, Y'now. Can't hurt to do it again."
It was true that Matthew had shot someone before they turned once ago. But that was different. He had shot an old man, one who died of old age. But this, this was a boy. This was Dex. He was arrogant, sure, and he got in way over his head, but nonetheless, he was just a kid and he was still learning. He didn't deserve to die. Matthew cocked the pistol, loading a round into the chamber. He fired a shot off into Dex's head, just before the poor boy could turn. Matthew and Sam walked for the door, as they walked for the hotel. Hopefully there wouldn't be anymore disturbances tonight.
"You feeling better?"
It was a woman's voice, that sounded vaguely familiar. Jeff woke up from his temporary comatose, his eyes now adjusting to the light. The last thing he remembered was swinging a tire iron at some blurry object that looked like the kid, then some sharp object getting thrown into his abdomen. He soon realized it still hurt there, and he grabbed at it, now feeling bandages over his shirtless body. Jeff sat up in his hospital bed, and then looked down to his jeans and bloody bandages wrapped around his stomach. Turning to see the voice that had woke him, he saw the belly dancer from the bar, Aceyla. He decided to answer her question. "I guess. Still got a cramp in my back though, and my stomach's a little bloody." Aceyla nodded, then sat back down in the chair beside his bed. "Dex is dead." She said, scratching her hair. Jeff's eyes widened and he looked at the ceiling. "Shit. I didn't mean to kill him. Honest to god. The kid was an idiot, but he didn't deserve to die."
Aceyla frowned and shook her head. "He had to die. If you hadn't swung that tire iron, you'd be dead."
"Fucking hell he did! Sure, he tried to stab me, but he didn't need to die. I didn't even think a tire iron could kill someone like that."
"It hit the corner of his eye. His eye popped out of his skull, and he bled out mumbling to himself. Don't beat yourself up over this, Hun."
Jeff sat staring at the ceiling. He honest to God didn't want to kill Dex. He didn't. He maybe would have messed him up a little bit, but did he want to kill him? No. He didn't. But Dex was dead, and Jeff could only focus on one word that the Arabic woman with the pale skin and red hair had said. "Hun?" He looked at her, and she smiled slyly. "See ya later." Jeff smiled then plopped back down on his bed, thinking of the beautiful woman as she stepped out the infirmary doors. Soon, his mind drifted back to how he had just KILLED a teenager. Here he was, a grown man, having just killed a stupid kid, and all he could think about was boning the belly dancer. He grabbed his hair slowly, as it still hurt to move, and lightly pulled it. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" Jeff stated out loud, and his ears perked up to steps echoing towards him.
"What is wrong with you Jeffery?"
Jeff noticed that voice from anywhere. The community's ever so loving "father" Oberson Crawford. Jeff sat up again with much difficulty, and peered into the beady eyes of the middle-aged man. "What is it Crawford?" He asked gruffly, and the old man grimaced. "I heard you killed Dex. He was one of our best shooters."
Jeff frowned at Oberson's words, and started to defend himself. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to honestly. He started touching the belly dancers and they didn't want him to, so I punched him. He tried to kill me with a broken bottle, and I accidentally knocked his eye off."
Crawford smiled and put a hand on Jeff's shoulder. "No, Jeffery. I'm not here to take you to the dungeon. I'm here to thank you."
"What?"
"Dex was weak. He didn't belong here in Crawford. Kicking him out would be terrible, but him basically killing himself? Wonderful!"
Jeff sputtered. What the hell was Crawford talking about? This was messed up. Jeff looked at Crawford, who was now waving goodbye and walking out the doors. He plopped back down on his back, thinking about the teenager he killed and Crawford's words.
Too much, too...
Thank you! THANK YOOOOOOU!
And dude! Don't go saying crazy stuff like that, you'll get me banned or sued or imprisoned or something! I wanna live man!
But thanks, and I can't to hear what you have to say on the other thingys. Eeee I'm so happy you've made my daaaaay. And yippee, I got a 10!
XD No thank you for sharing this masterpiece on my thread and I stand by everything I said :'D
I'll finish my review tonight in my timezone I have few stuff and thangs to do first ;D
This Thread feels very empty without me Posting...time to change that!
Stache DO WHAT MUST BE DONE!!
So be it!
sry for the delay in the last few reviews I have been so busy lately random stuff and thangs AHHH but tomorrow I'll finish the rest I'll try to get time
I'mma do a fanfic SOOONNNN
YESSS CAN'T WAIT
I'll start working sometime tomorrow morning.
(I'm going to go ahead and sell out right now, and ask if you can check out my interactive fanfic Humane, as it pertains with the same main character and general plot line.)
The Walking Dead: City of Fools
CHAPTER 3
"Come on, Ryker, you just throw the rock and break the window. When you do that, I give you the stuff you want. That's the deal." The high-octane girl that was jitteriness up and down at least once a second, called out to her "friend." The sixteen year old girl licked her lips, and brushed back her wispy blond hair. Her eyes were lined with bags, due to her rarely ever sleeping. She wore a blue tank top and denim shorts, and had gotten the nickname of "Sugar High." Her real name was Rachel White, but she for some reason preferred Sugar High. She had this one drug, that she had always called "High in the Sky" but everyone knew it was little less then cocaine mixed with Mountain Dew then dried. No one knew where she got it from, but no one cared. She said before she had made the stuff before the apocalypse, She didn't rely on getting tons of scraps and food or whatever else the hell they had in Crawford, no, instead she made people pay by doing strange jobs, such as the one she was subjecting poor nineteen year old Ryker here to now. The boy had once been a successful high-school student, a pretty boy with a brother in the military. He had always wished to be a pilot and was in the ROTC, but he never got his chance. Instead, this fucked up world had bashed the brown-haired boy straight in the head, and had thrown him into the world of drugs just to get his kicks. His hand twitched, one of the obvious signs of withdrawal. He needed some now. He needed some of that "High in the Sky" or whatever the fuck this girl called it. He needed it, but he really didn't want to throw the rock at the window. "I don't know. It wouldn't be right. Could I do something else?" He asked nervously, his eyes shifting back and forth across the dark road.
"No, you dipshit. You do what I ask you to, or you don't get the drugs." Sugar High scowled, and spat on Ryker's shoe. "Throw the rock." Ryker held the rock in his hand tightly, and looked back and forth across the road once more, then towards the hotel window. The window he was supposed to be throwing it at was the very bottom one, right where Logan was currently sleeping in. He always sat at the clerk's desk during the day, but at night the old man had retreated to his own special quarters. Ryker didn't want to break the poor old man's window, but he REALLY needed a fix. "Look, Sugar, can we-"
"Sugar? Ooh, I like that name already my more than just a friend." Sugar High licked her lips and inches a little bit closer to Ryker, who in turn inched a little aways. "Fuck you! I didn't-"
Ryker was cut off once more by Rachel's obvious immatureness. "Oh, this just get's better and better. Fuck me you say? Certainly!" She squealed in delight, obviously having fun toying with Ryker. Ryker grimaced, but turned his head back to the window. "Fine, I'll just throw the rock." He said, breathed out, and held the rock tighter. Sugar High smiled, obviously getting her kicks out of watching this go down. "Come on, throw it, throw it! I wanna see glass start shatterin!" Her eyes lit up as the rock flew across the sky, hitting straight into Logan's room. "What the hell!?" A muffled cry came out from Logan's room, and Sugar High roared with laughter. "Oh my god, I can't believe you actually threw the rock!" She squealed in delight, then started running off into the darkness. "You following?" She called back to Ryker, who turned and started to run after her. Shit. Had he actually done that? Did he really just vandalize a sweet old man's home? Ryker shook his head at himself in disgust, and shuddered as he ran.
The two runners bumped past bystanders and leaped over long-broken cars. They kept running until they eventually reached an old alleyway, and hid inside. "Well shit, wasn't that a rush! Woo! Hell yeah! Makes me want to swear. Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! Fucking booyah!" The blonde girl started spouting out, as Ryker just stared at her with startled eyes. Apparently, she only considered fuck as a swear word, and throwing a rock at a window was a rush. His eyes shined, and his entire body shook. First the effects of drug withdrawal had affected him, and now the fear of being caught by one of the prefects scared him even more. Ryker looked around, and then suddenly turned as he heard a loud clanging sound. There was Sugar High, jumping on top of a trash can and climbing up a broken ladder. She beckoned him with her hand, and he reluctantly followed. What did this crazy girl want him to do now?! Ryker scoffed in disgust, climbed on top of the trash can, then looked up at the broken ladder. He jumped, and grabbed the bottom rung on the first try. The boy quickly pulled himself up, climbing up the long ladder, as the girl up ahead climbed like a monkey. And those tight shorts she was wearing really made him feel uncomfortable. "Goddammit." He thought aloud, and she looked back at him. "What? Cut yourself?" Sugar High's eyes followed where he was staring, and her lips curled into a smirk. "Oh, so you like what you see, no?"
"You're fucking insane." Ryker replied, scowling, as the two continued up the long ladder. "That's true. I used to take a lot of....substances. It's ah, a wonder I didn't overdose. Or, something like that. Can you overdose on crack? I just wanna know. I don't think you coul-"
"You can probably overdose on anything." The boy below her said, just as she reached the top of the building. Ryker climbed up after also, and they both stood up on the very top of the building. Ryker noticed cans, stacked up upon one another, like target practice. "Now what?" He asked, as Sugar High handed him a pistol. "Shoot those cans right here. Think of'em like walkers, just a bang and their done!" She squeaked off, and Ryker stared at the cans dumbfounded. First of all, how did she get the gun? It was only for prefects, and the rest were locked up tight. Second of all, what was the fucking point of this? He held the gun up and pointed it at the cans, just as the crazy girl started playing something on her radio. An old Elvis song started playing, and Sugar High mumbled something about the classics.
"You ain't nothing but a hound, dog."
Bang! One can down.
"Cryin' all the time."
Bang! Ryker missed the next one, and readied his pistol again.
"You ain't nothing but a, hound, dog."
Ryker hit the can on his next shot, then pointed it to the next stack.
"Cryin' all the time."
Ryker missed, as he fired off three shots that all missed the can. Sugar High yelled something about him shooting like a girl, and he frowned.
"Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit an' you ain't no friend of mine!"
Ryker shot the last cans off of their pedestals, and the music died down from Sugar High kicking the radio. "You said you was high class! But that was just a lie!" She screamed out, clapping and clapping to herself. Ryker squinted, and held his hand out. "Can I have it now?"
Sugar High frowned, but she reached into her back pocket and handed him a bag of green cocaine. "It's the good stuff, alright?" She smiled, and pushed him back. "Now get out of here. You smell bad, and your stinking up my place."
Hello there =D
Didn't want to litter the entire thread by the stuff I wrote, mostly because I wasn't sure when or if I could post it, but now that it's done, I'd love to hear your opinions about it. Let me know if I should grab my umbrella.
http://www.telltalegames.com/community/discussion/71569/the-fall-complete-a-little-fanfic-made-by-yours-truly?new=1
The Walking Dead: A Single Shot
Chapter One: A Single Shot
Day 315 OB
Clementine looked at the girl Michelle as she held a gun at her face. The gas station bathroom was dirty beyond belief with blood, shit and a mix of everything else... Michelle was ransacking Clementine's backpack looking for supplies. Like she'd give a fuck about a nine year old girl. "Is this your daddy? What a bozo." The girl said as she found a picture of Lee. Clementine found herself feeling... a mix of feelings. Anger, sadness, grief... And she had the nerve to say that about Lee? The man who did so much for her?
The door creaked open... Omid crept his way into the bathroom as Michelle continued her looting. Clementine looked fearfully at him... Her face seemed to plead, "Do something Omid!" Omid did, sneaking his way up to Michelle. Suddenly, the door flew shut just as a gunshot rang out...
Clem blinked for a second before seeing Michelle choking and gargling on her own blood with Omid looking in shock. He was so sure he would've died...
Suddenly the door flew open. Christa ran in, armed with a rifle, to see Michelle dying as Omid and Clementine looked at her.
"What the fuck happened in here?" She demanded anxiously.
"I... I dunno, babe, I dunno..." Omid responded. The door shut behind Christa. The two discussed what happened as Clementine tried to calm herself down...
Someone knocked on the door, slowly and surely. It scared the shit out of everyone again.
"What the..." Christa muttered.
"Look, I know y'all are in here," a deep-voiced man said impatiently.
"Christa, go hide in back with Clem," Omid whispered as he took the rifle from Christa.
"I can hear y'all. And I ain't gonna do y'all any harm. I just want to know if that bitch holding up your girl is dead or not. Is she?"
Omid and Christa looked at each other , shocked beyond all belief, for a few seconds, before Christa replied, "Who is this?"
"I ain't gonna hurt you, I said." The man replied. He sighed and added, "Name's Nathaniel. Do you plan on keeping me outside? Is that bitch dead? Is her brain destroyed? Tell me dammit."
Clem:
[A. ...] [B. She's dead!] [C. I hope he's not bad.] [D. Can we trust him?]
Markd... Remember that time I promised you I would write something for this...
Well you're in luck... Because I just started The Walking Dead: The World Behind Us
Sadly it'll be released in a week or so...
BUT, I MANAGED TO MAKE A PREVIEW OF THE FIRST CHAPTER:
It was just you (Kyle), James, Kenneth and Adrian out hunting, it was summer and the sun was shining, you hadn’t shot much yet, only two 7-point bucks.
“We’ve gotta step up our game! We’re not shooting shit.” James complained.
“You’re one to say that? You haven’t shot shit yet, only Adrian and I managed to hit anything!” Kenneth grinned.
“Sshh.” Adrian said as he aimed his rifle towards a 11-point buck.
BLAM!
“Now that’s how you do it.” Adrian grinned as the four of you walked over to the buck.
Adrian and James started lifting the buck, Kenneth started whistling a hunters song, you spotted a 9-point buck eating some grass in the distance, you aimed at it and…
BLAM!
“Kenneth, you gonna help me get this 9-point buck to the truck?” You asked him.
“Sure.” He answered and the two of you walked over to the buck.
That's it, it's just a small part of the chapter, also I can spoil that one these people ain't gonna make it through this chapter.
@Markd4547 are you ready? BECAUSE THIS IS IT.
The Walking Dead: The World Behind Us.
Chapter 1: No going back.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sjRykhkPnc2IPb2AE-iKb76qLjnPPnyhk6b-VVCUjPE/edit
A very solid start I loved it
Spacing and grammar was perfect it was unbelievably easy to read and just a relaxing and enjoying experience reading it as spaced and written so well.
The unique characters and unique plot have to get respect for coming up with you own idea
The story line is great full of action and grips you from the stop which I loved as I have low concentration but couldn't keep my eyes off this
Just the right length which I loved the plot moved naturally and had perfect pacing without fillers much appreciated as a reader
Anyway chapter 1 solid start can't do a full review till your finished but I'm so excited to see what's to come your very talented
I loved them chapters they had solid plots really innovative and original with great character depth in terms of this one I loved Ryder and Rachel just fascinating learning about their personalities and how they interacted in such a world I can't wait to see more of these. I'm starting to really connect and hope the characters have a bright future and are safe in further installments and that is all down to the talent of the writing. Anyway thanks for the share I'm real excited to see where you take this
TWD.
Title: Out of the past, part 2.
Main Characters: Kenny, and Jim.
Timeline: Right after the events of part 1.
Subject: Preparation, and inward danger.
The moon has just risen over the horizon, and Kenny, Clementine, Jim and Dave are in the command center, making preparations for the on coming battle.
Having a map of the compound and and surrounding area laid out on the table in front of them, Kenny begins, " When the attack begins, the convoy will more than likely direct the bulk of their attack against the south wall, as it's are most vulnerable."
"And will probably send out skirmish attacks, to try and gauge the strength of our people," Jim added.
"We've managed to gather a fresh supply of assault rifles, and and about 300lbs of ammo last spring, so we've got some good firepower," Dave observed.
"In the meantime, we should have everyone arm themselves with a pistol on their belt, a rifle for long range shooting, and a machete, in case it ends up being hand-to-hand," Clementine gested.
Straightening up, Kenny looked at Jim and asked,"AreOur people are all good with rifles and pistols, but what about actual fist fighting? Their all adept at taking out walkers, but fighting a man is different, as their not only smarter, but their also faster and more agile."
"I'll start a training regiment tomorrow," Jim replied.
"And Dave, how are we doin' on medical supplies," Kenny asked," As like it or not, people are bound to get hurt in this conflict."
"Our medical supplies are low. I was going to have another supply run made to get more, but then the convoy arrived," Dave replied.
"So we're gonna have to sneak out and get some more," Clementine noted.
After dismissing the meeting for the evening, Kenny posted a double guard on each before retiring to his family.
Over the next three days, Jim began conducting a training regiment for the group, while Kenny handled manning of the walls and inspection of the communities weapon's condition, while Clementine handled the supply runs for medical supplies.
As the weeks passed, Jim's training regiment grew harder and tougher.
Jim's motto was, " The more vicious you are in a fight, the better chance you have of winning."
Clementine began to worry about what affect this was having on her husband, as she noticed his attitude becoming more aggressive and violent.
Even Kenny began to worry, especially after the convoy launched a skirmish attack, and when driving them back, Kenny noticed on Jim's face, a a ruthless and vindictive look, as he gunned down 4 men.
One day, during a training exercise, Jim started beating on one of the students, who failed to keep his guard up during a defensive move.
After Kenny and some of the other students pulled Jim off him, Kenny dismissed the class, so he and Jim could speak in private.
After the class was dispersed, Kenny snapped, "What the hell was that Jim?!"
"I have kept telling him to keep his guard up, but he won't do it," Jim explained, "So I decided to show him the consequences would be for not doing so, and maybe he'll get it through his head."
"You're supposed to be training these people," Kenny barked, "Not abusing them!"
Jim glared at Kenny and said, "I'll tell you what Kenny, I won't tell you how to do your job, and you don't tell me how to do mine."
Kenny replied growled, "If I ever catch you abusig one of your students again like that, especially a young boy, you're gonna get your ass kicked."
Jim straightened up looking down on Kenny, as he was 6'4ft and 200lbs, while Kenny being only 5'10ft and 165lbs, and said, "You think you can stop me old man?"
Kenny, removed his eye patch, showing the hideous scar that had formed over his left eye socket, as a result from the horrendous beating he received from Carver 20 years earlier, hardened his gaze at Jim, and said in a strong, firm voice, "I can stop you."
Despite being the larger, stronger, and younger of the 2 men, Jim could see Kenny was still a forced to be reckoned with, even in his old age.
Without saying a word, Jim stormed off.
Over the next month, Kenny and Jim largely avoided each other.
Jim continued to train his classes, though mindful of Kenny's words.
When Kenny would pass by him, Jim hardened gaze would always follow after him, with anger and hatred for Kenny growing in Jim's heart.
One late afternoon, as the sun sank below t horizon, Kenny and Clementine stood atop of the west wall, watching the movement within the convoy camp.
"It's been 4 months,, they've cut off the main roads, what the hell are they still waiting for, "Clementine asked in a frustrated tone?
Kenny replied, "They know that the longer we're boxed in, the closer we get to tearing each other apart. That's what they're waitin'' for, and that's when they'll attack."
Staring off into the sunset, Clementine remarked, "Well at least our people are well trained, for when they do."
Kenny replied, "Jim knows his shit, that's for sure! But he's changing," Kenny continued, "into something violent, and ugly.
You realize that, don't you," Kenny asked?
Clementine, not wanting to acknowledge it, but she knew that what Kenny said was true.
She had often wondered what was happening to the man she married, and to the father of her child.
Clementine, with a sad expression on her face, just turned and walked away.
Kenny, watched her leave.
Though saddened to have to say that to her, Kenny knew that it was a reality she was going to have to come to terms with.
He turned his gaze back towards convoy, looking for anything that might give him a clue to what their next move would be.
From the convoy, Lilly eyed Eden, contemplating the fortresses weaknesses.
Charlie, now wearing a thick beard, stood beside her, also studying the place.
"When are we gonna attack," Lilly asked?
Charlie lowered his binoculars, and replied, "Soon."
To be continued......
Thanks almighty Joker.
Sadly this here will keep going until' I get bored, so you'll probably have to review every chapter.
Check out my latest chapter.
So busy that I forgot that I was even making another fan-fic here.
WE FORGIVE YOU TOBI
The Walking Dead: The World Behind Us.
Chapter 2: A long distance.
Click here to read
Originally posted in a "Make your Own Lee Dream Sequence" thread from several months ago.
A white mist clouds her vision, permeating through the nightmares that plague her. A looming figure materializes out of nothingness, but there are no weapons to grab to defend herself. The eerie silence that haunts this vast infinity fades away into a voice deep and fathomless. She reaches out to it with shaking hands.
"You are afraid" the voice says, unearthing itself from the depths of her memories until recognition washes over her.
"I-I thought you were a walker, coming to get me" she says. She bites her lip to keep her tears from falling. She is not a little girl anymore- she has to show him that she has learned to survive and be strong, to face this terror-filled world like he taught her to so long ago.
He seems to not hear this. "You are afraid everywhere you go. You hide it with new found strength and maturity, and I am so proud of you for it. But the dead-", he says, "-can see through the facade".
"Lee" she chokes out, fearing that saying his very name would cause him to disappear from her life as he once had. "It's all my fault. You're dead because of me, and all you did was protect me. Why couldn't I do the same for you?" she whispers.
A strong hand places itself on her shoulder, and only then does she realize that Lee is right there in front of her. She gently touches the cuff of his sleeve, afraid that he is intangible and that he will get swallowed up by the mist. But Lee is solid and as alive as he had ever been, a pulse pounding beneath his wrist. She remembers the last time she saw him- his eyes sunken in and his skin taut over his pale face. But now there is color on his cheeks and light stubble on his face, his warm eyes locked with hers.
"Clementine. Don't you ever blame yourself for what happened, don't you ever carry the mistakes I have made. If the cost for you surviving was my own life, I am glad that my death meant something important. To keep you safe, to give you the chance to run through those fields and out of Savannah. Know that you are strong, but know that feeling afraid is what keeps you human. Know that you are a light for humanity, and know that that is not enough. You will need to make hard decisions and come across bad people. I can't lie to you, Clementine-the path you are on won't be easy. But I know that when I found you in that tree house, I found a girl that will survive."
"But Lee, I can't! Everyone I come to know and care for dies and I can't stop it. All the names of those I've seen die haunt me. And I know that list will grow every day. What am I going to do?" she cries.
The world around her begins to dim, to crumble into darkness. Lee's voice seems far away as he says, "Do what I have taught you. Survive, be strong, have mercy and firmness when you need it. And never let this world take away who you are, Clementine."
"Wait! Please don't go! I need you, Lee" she sobbed. "I need you".
From what seemed like galaxies away, she heard: "You don't need me anymore, sweet pea."
Just beautiful my feels :'D
Things I liked
Grammar and spacing perfect I spotted no errors and never got lost
Great pacing I was entertained and intrigued thorough the whole tale wanting to know more
So deep and intense throughout the whole story I love it
Use of TWD characters they behaved in a fashion I believe they would of acted or spoken so they felt realistic to me superb
Innovative idea with the dream and just really creatively written I got lost in your imagination reading this story and I enjoyed it very creative and superbly written
Short but sweet all thriller no filler
Psychology aspect the journey of acceptance for Clem and Lee instead of worrying of death he just cared how Clem dealt with it reassuring her and making her feel more inspired by his death then saddened just so beautiful:'D
Love the ending my feels direct hit so simple yet so effective of sending in few words the message of this story Clem was always the chosen one Lee just enjoyed and cherished the time he got with her :'D
Overall
Genius writing Maddi but now I want MORE your one of the best writers I've seen yet your story is so short I think you really have potential if you wrote a full walking dead story to really make a masterpiece your talent deserves it :'D
Rating
9.5/10
Markd
Just wanted to say to you and a lot of the writers involved in this little page of yours, that there are some real gems here. I was just poking around the sight, I'd noted your "antics" in Lee's page and decided I give this a peep just to see what was what. I immediately found a few that caught my attention right away and have now gone through every tab of your page to see how those stories progressed. I also found you input and critique to be very solid, informative, and spot on. Just wanted to say thanks to you and your contributors for the pleasant surprise. You guys keep writing and I'll definitely keep reading, heck, might even throw my two cents in one day.
crawfish killed my pet hamster by Bob Jones Nate asscheek bonbutt
Clementine: crawfish killed my pet hamster
Lee:I don't care
Clementine: good...sad face...
The end!
XD I act completely different here btw I take everything seriously that's my fun thread
Thank you so much not just for the compliment but for taking the time to check out the awesome works I'm proud of every single one but that's down to the writers this place is just mean't to be an outlet to let your imagination go wild and create a TWD you want. A library of story's to read all in one place.
this thread is all about the writers for me I LOVE stories and because it's my thread and writers took the time to write something for it I feel obliged to give them a decent review and please do we need more stories
Short yet sweet my feels direct hurt poor Clem D':
The Walking Dead: The World Behind Us, Volume 1: A Harder World, is finally finished, and I made one compendium kinda thing where you can read the whole volume in one, instead of reading each issue.
Link for the compendium: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sjRykhkPnc2IPb2AE-iKb76qLjnPPnyhk6b-VVCUjPE/edit
Have fun.
Raging contacted me, just posting this story for him:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10654941/1/Death-Dawn
Hello there, fellow Stache-ists. Sorry for not posting new Fanfics for so long. But anyway, without further ado, here is my newest piece of art. This is just me messing around and seeing if I could make a simple raccoon story depressing.
From the eyes of a raccoon:
They were alive
I rather enjoyed this..short true, but n interesting perspective on a scene from the game. a lot of animals are very, very clever and I've found it odd that the game doesn't include more. really liked this, thanks for the read.
I am creating a interactive story(You and fellow members customize the story) and I can't do much unless i get more people to join. Only 2 people have signed up so i am stuck. If i can at least have you guys create a character, that be nice. I don't care if you vote or not, but it would help the story. I am a great writer and i'm testing out a new style/
Click this to get to the page. The story is called Gone in Seconds. Please help me out with this.
you already have a character from me firedog
I know, i trying to get more people. This really isn't working how i planned.
The World Behind Us. Volume 1 and 2 Completed.
TWBU: Volume 1: A Harder World
TWDBU: Volume 2: Divided In Three
Superb story
Review things I liked
Grammar and spacing was perfect it was a really enjoyable reading this story as everything was spaced out so well that I flew through it without getting bored or confused
So much killing
Innovative idea not using TWD characters and coming up with your own concept
Non-stop action from start to finish such an exciting read intense from start to finish
Full of cursing
So many twists and turns it was so exciting
That ending was just beautiful :'D(no spoilers)
My feels for grace D':
My favorite chapter was 6 non-stop action killing, shooting, cursing, grace coming back as a zombie and killing it was so epic for that chapter 10/10
Overall
I loved it your style it's full on action and killing just how I like it and I can't wait to read more overall 9/10