Sorry I haven't written in a while! I've been busy! And I've had some writer's block. So yeah! Also, my birthdays's next Sunday I'm turning… more 17, sorta excited! Anyway, here it goes:
Chapter 3: Gone
"Wake up! Em, wake up!"
I stir under the blankets and squint as the flashlight is shined at my face. Through the beams I can sort of see my brother's figure, tall and brutish. His long brown hair is a clumpy mess, but the darkness of the barn does a reasonable job of hiding it.
"What's up? What's wrong?" I ask, sitting up groggily. I rub my eyes and pull out a long yawn. My stomach growls under my shirt.
"Carter's gone, Emmy. I woke up and couldn't find him." He says.
"Gone?" My heart drops instantly. He left already.
"We need to find the bastard before he gets himself killed by those damn mutes," mutters Juan from nearby.
"I checked our supplies, and he took some. What on God's green earth was he thinking?"
I hesitate. S… [view original content]
Previously on the " Long shave ahead "
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11Y3NBIIc-k
And now...
" Many days had passed, as the story o… moref our 3 beloved handsome shaved heroes continues and the atmosphere in the group was noticeable tense. The three Stacheketeers had almost finished their long journey to Wellington, they only had to pass though a small suburb called Wellingtonvannah before they could finish their long journey. Unfortunately, Raging_Blades had seriously injured his foot, a couple of days ago. "
Blades: " Guys, we need to rest. I need to rest! "
Stache: " Yeah, you'r right. Markd, hold up. Markd, goddamnit! I said hold up! Blades needs to take a break, let's give him a minute. "
Markd: " We're almost out of the suburb, almost to Wellington. "
Stache: " Then it won't hurt to stop for just one damn minute. "
" The sound of a (epic) loud Bell could be heard "
Blades: " What the hell? Maybe this city is not so … [view original content]
So beautiful with great character depth nice to see different side of Rayne who I'm really connecting with as a character I really love her really fleshed out character. Really slow pace with mostly dialogue but enjoyed learning more about the characters and seeing their interactions with each other so as writer must be applauded few can do that. Just brilliant can't wait for more Dragon
I would have gotten this done way earlier. But a few complications happened, still, I hope you guys enjoy nevertheless! This should be longe… morer than my previous chapter as well!
Chapter 5: The Arbiter of All Things
"Come on, Max, you would be foolish to leave her sobbing in a state like that. Go on, talk to her you piece of shit, you can't always leave situations unscathed. Sometimes, all you gotta do is step in." Max shook his head, he remembered what it was like to be in a situation like this. After all, it had the ingredients of unwanted memories to complete it: girl crying, depressing atmosphere, the choice of slipping away... He just couldn't bear it to begin with. But if it was to make a sweet girl like Rayne happy, so be it.
Max had felt his stomach churn out of distress, it pained him to see Rayne like this. He gathered the courage to finally approach the couch, as he sat down next to her.
"Rayne? Are, um, are you alright?"
… [view original content]
Read two chapters(do a full review when your finished the complete story)
Enjoyed first chapter more based around chapter depth and furthering the plot but still enjoyed learning more about this army style story and how everything works and seeing the effects of this crazy situation of the soldiers a very fascinating read you really built a solid foundation
Second After you built the foundation and I have connected with the characters more it made the action more exciting and unexpected in this chapter just exploded into life a gripping read I love seeing the politics side of war especially the line In "war, truth is the first casualty" EXACTLY LOVE IT!!
Overall just superb so scary and disturbing just what I like in story's I never knew what to expect and always looked forward to the next line I NEED TO SEE MORE!!
Manny changed into a new set of clothes and left for the mess hall. The building wasn't large enough to seat the new arrivals, so rows of m… moreakeshift tables were lined up outside to accommodate them. After waiting in a thirty-minute line for some soggy meatloaf, Manny made his back outside and sat down at a quiet table, near a couple of pilots. Normally, he could expect an angry rebuke for intruding on the 'Air Force table, but these weren't normal times. Both were drinking and only short, bald guy seemed to notice him, muttering "stupid fucking doggy" under his breath before returning to his drink. Manny didn't bother replying.
"It's so fucked, man..." The bald man said miserably, "All the runs to Atlanta? What kind of sick fucking animal orders that anyway?" The pilot didn't seem to notice that the man sitting across from him was out cold, as he continued babbling. "I mean, there were people down there...there were deltas, but ther… [view original content]
Thank you like always, man. The question is: will she trust Max until the end? And can Max trust her now that she threatened him? Stay tuned for more, ooooooooo.
So beautiful with great character depth nice to see different side of Rayne who I'm really connecting with as a character I really love her … morereally fleshed out character. Really slow pace with mostly dialogue but enjoyed learning more about the characters and seeing their interactions with each other so as writer must be applauded few can do that. Just brilliant can't wait for more Dragon
Read two chapters(do a full review when your finished the complete story)
Enjoyed first chapter more based around chapter depth and furth… moreering the plot but still enjoyed learning more about this army style story and how everything works and seeing the effects of this crazy situation of the soldiers a very fascinating read you really built a solid foundation
Second After you built the foundation and I have connected with the characters more it made the action more exciting and unexpected in this chapter just exploded into life a gripping read I love seeing the politics side of war especially the line In "war, truth is the first casualty" EXACTLY LOVE IT!!
Overall just superb so scary and disturbing just what I like in story's I never knew what to expect and always looked forward to the next line I NEED TO SEE MORE!!
Just caught up on your two chapters Aw!! you have a really unique style so sweet and beautiful. The descriptions and character depth makes me really connect with the characters so brilliantly written so many feels :'). Can't wait for more
Chapter 4: Arrival
We made it to the winter house. We gave up looking for him. Actually, I lie. They gave up. I'm still determined to fin… mored him.
We unpacked the car one last time, set up the bare beds inside with our blankets. We'd stay here all year long if it didn't get so hot in the summer and if there weren't so many tropical storms. So this is just our winter spot. If you go out into the woods far enough, you'll get to a highway that has signs pointing to Disney World. Carter's dreamland. Too bad we've never gone that far.
I sit in the window on the second floor, in my room. The house was a bit worn down from over the years. It's been through plenty of hurricanes and an earthquake in the last decade. Each time, we have to clean the yard of fallen trees, make sure the house hasn't suffered bad damage. We're lucky this year. Nothing major to fix.
I was the only one who didn't have to share a room, for obvious reasons. But now, w… [view original content]
Yes more pls!! l0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000!!
Thank you like always, man. The question is: will she trust Max until the end? And can Max trust her now that she threatened him? Stay tuned for more, ooooooooo.
Thanks! I'm planning on doing as many chapters as it takes to get this story out! I've been thinking a lot of what I want to add, but the general story plot is in my head for now.
Just caught up on your two chapters Aw!! you have a really unique style so sweet and beautiful. The descriptions and character depth makes me really connect with the characters so brilliantly written so many feels :'). Can't wait for more
"We've just entered Florida!" Exclaims Eva. She sticks her hand out the window and cheers. This whole family is full of happy people. Zoey tugs on my shirt, pointing West.
"When are you planning on separating from us?" She asks. Her brown eyes have a veil of dampness on it.
"Ah, probably tomorrow. We'll see." I say. It doesn't do much to assure her.
"Well, goodluck." Her voice is rash. She doesn't want me to go, that much is evident.
The car halts to a stop in an abandoned parking lot. Pee break. We park in a space, not that it matters though. Each person goes off in their own direction while I stay at the car with Zoey.
"I can help you," She says.
"What?"
"If you let me go with you, I can help you get to the HQ. I....I know where it is."
I scoff,"How? Unless you're apart of DESERT, no one gets out alive."
"I'm apart of DESERT," She says.
"What?!"
"Well, I mean. I was apart of DESERT. Me and Bill and Eva. No lie."
"You're bluffing."
"Nope."
"How the- What?"
She sighs, pulling her purse near her. She pulls out a plastic card.
"See? My ID card."
"How'd you get out?" I pull the card from her hands, examining it.
"We were from an older unit. One that was overrun by..."
"Lurkers?"
"Yeah. It was unfortunate. I lost friends. You know, it was before the whole group went all corrupt and stuff. I was a kid then, the whole unit was. Kids, families. Training. Anyway, we were offered to join the bigger group at the HQ, but we were too scarred from what happened. We left. Now its just me and my family."
"No way. So can you-"
"Do super ninja moves? No. But I can sneak you in and out without drawing attention. One of our lessons was memorizing maps to main buildings we'd someday join. I guess they didn't plan for the ones who decided to leave. I know all the ducts, entrances."
"Why do you still remember?"
"What else can I do? It's not like we have much technology anymore. Plus, I thought that maybe one day I'd need it. Like now."
I frowned. I can't ask her to risk her life for me. It was hard enough leaving the people I called family.
"You can't go."
"But~"
"No." Just then, Nate emerged from the rows of cars, jumping in through the open doorway.
"Sup guys. Hope you weren't macking it out here. That's gross."
Zoey stuck her tongue out and scowled. Then she looked at me sad again. Disappointed.
Emery Rose Huberman
I let the cold water run down my back without moving or attempting to wipe the grime away. I've never felt so alone without him. I never thought I'd feel this way. I never thought I'd need him to be with me so much.
Stop it, I tell myself.
Stop making yourself a pity party.
A knock at the door.
"You alright? It's been 15 minutes." Juan.
"Yeah. I'll be out."
I grab the towel from the sink, wrapping it around my body. I look in the mirror, at my thin complexion. My long brown hair reaches past my shoulders when it's not in a pony tail. There's a firmness in my arms, yet I'm still rather lanky.
Unattractive.
I shudder at the cold breeze from the window, and force myself into new clothes. When I get out into the hall, both guys are standing there. Concerned.
"We need to find that goddamn boy," Says Juan. He said it jokingly, but his face was serious.
"We need to find him now." Adds Derek.
We get dressed into light clothes. We pack a bag of supplies. I grab my notebook, an extra shirt and underwear. Juan knocks on the door once more.
"Me and Derek talked. He's staying here. He's also keeping the truck here. We go on foot."
"Foot? Wouldn't truck be faster?"
"Yeah, but how do you know he took roads to the HQ? Ain't it in the woods, near the Louisiana border? At this rate, he's either there, or making his way there. We can still catch up. Lets go."
I sling the bag onto my back. Just before exiting, I hug Derek.
"Be safe now. Be careful," He says, patting my head.
We depart around noon. There's enough food for a few days, then we'll have to hunt. It's a dangerous path, but we need to save Carter. This won't turn out good. He will die if we don't stop him.
Chapter 5: Moving Forward.
Carter Jones
"We've just entered Florida!" Exclaims Eva. She sticks her hand out the window and cheers. Thi… mores whole family is full of happy people. Zoey tugs on my shirt, pointing West.
"When are you planning on separating from us?" She asks. Her brown eyes have a veil of dampness on it.
"Ah, probably tomorrow. We'll see." I say. It doesn't do much to assure her.
"Well, goodluck." Her voice is rash. She doesn't want me to go, that much is evident.
The car halts to a stop in an abandoned parking lot. Pee break. We park in a space, not that it matters though. Each person goes off in their own direction while I stay at the car with Zoey.
"I can help you," She says.
"What?"
"If you let me go with you, I can help you get to the HQ. I....I know where it is."
I scoff,"How? Unless you're apart of DESERT, no one gets out alive."
"I'm apart of DESERT," She says.
"What?!"
"Well, I mean. I … [view original content]
Hey everyone. Part One of Operation Vengeful Skull is here! Feedback is appreciated. Enjoy.
.
**CHAPTER 3: Operation Vengeful Skull, Part 1
5 Days In -- 6 miles outside Macon**
.
OPERATION NOTES
STRATEGIC GOAL: Survey Macon disaster zone and track movement of infectees, refugees, armed civilians.
TACTICAL OBJECTIVES
Establish HQ at enclosed coordinates
Scout surrounding areas
Map out anomalies, hostile or anything else that should be considered by an occupation force.
GUIDELINES
Maintain low profile, avoid hostile contact
Minimize contact with civilians
Leave no trace of bivouac sites
Prioritize silence and evasion
.
Manny shook his head in disgust and passed Fisher's notes to White and the rest of the platoon's NCO's(1). He couldn't believe that the brass just wanted them to sit there in the woods while his family could be dying down there in that godforsaken city.
"This is fucking bullshit..." Manny cursed under his breath. Captain Parker, apparently heard him and turned away from his briefing with Fisher, his hawk-like eyes narrowing.
"Something to report, Sergeant?" He said condescendingly. Manny just glared at him and turned away. He held a grudge against the Captain since last March when he led the company into an Iraqi ambush at Nasiriyah.
"No sir."
He didn't have long to fume over their mission, everyone got up and silently checking their gear as the transport vehicles came whining to a stop.
Manny and the rest of the 2nd Platoon filed out of the canvas topped truck beds where they spent the last few hours, yawning awkwardly and blinking into the morning light. The ride over had been spent mostly in oppressive silence; save for the dull roar of Diesel engines and Captain Parker's constant blathering. Some of the guardsmen managed to sleep on the ride over, but Manny didn't understand how. Lt. Fisher dropped a bombshell on the entire platoon just before they were about to mount up.
"We're all infected." He thought to himself for the thirtieth time. He suspected it, when the spooks came to execute the dying patients at the medical tent, but the words still hit him like a brick. Any chance of things going back to normal in the foreseeable future was obliterated with those three words. Every suicide, infection or accident would create new enemies and dangers. He couldn't stop imagining Pvt. Cho's upper-half crawling around Atlanta, his intestines dragging along behind him.
"Packs on, safety's on." Lt. Fisher went down the line of guardsmen, keeping her voice down to avoid attracting attention. "Packs on, safety's on. Packs on, safety's on." The men and women nodded in agreement, got their gear together and began their quiet march into the woods.
"Fucking hell." Manny turned around and caught Corporal Gibbs as he toppled over a tree branch. "Thanks." He muttered. The woods were oddly quiet, with only the chirping of birds and occasional bursts of gunfire in the distance. The hike would've been peaceful if it wasn't so damn hot; 8:00AM and it was already pushing 85 degrees. He turned to see White huffing and puffing under the weight of his pack and M4 Carbine, eventually, he tapped Manny on the shoulder and caught up to him.
"Hey, you think Lieutenant Newbie up there is ready for this?" He panted. Manny gestured for him to keep his voice down.
"Cut Fisher a break," he whispered "it's her time on this kind of operation." White didn't look very reassured.
"That's what I'm talking about; she's got no combat experience!"
"She handled Atlanta well." Manny said
"Yeah, but that was just four of us...leading a platoon is different." White was being paranoid but he had a point. "All I'm saying is we gotta be prepared to step up if it comes to that."
"Yeah, I guess." He mumbled dismissively, "I'm more worried about how Gibbs will handle it."
"Yeah, well...any number of tragedies could befall a man like Corporal Gibbs." White said, chuckling darkly. "Maybe he's mistaken for a delta or gets lost out on patrol..."
"Jesus Christ, this again?" Manny hissed. "Just kill him or shut the fuck up about it." Sgt. White grinned wryly.
"I'm just sayin' that the world's a dangerous place, is all" The platoon trudged through the woods in silence for two more hours. By the time Captain Parker signaled them to halt, Manny's hands were so sweaty he could barely keep a grip on his M14. He could see the road up ahead, and a sign that read Macon Scout Camp. Both platoons (roughly 45 guardsmen in total) huddled around their officers.
"Alright, listen up!" Parker said quietly. "We've going to clear this camp site and establish a base of operations." He reached into his backpack and passed maps to Fisher and Shockey, a competent African-American lieutenant whom Manny remembered from Iraq. "Shockey, split 1st Platoon and clear the peripheral campsites; A, B, C and D."
"Yes sir." Shockey said, nodding in agreement. "1st Platoon, on me." Just over half the men left the pack and followed their lieutenant.
"2nd Platoon, you're clearing the mess hall, trading post and first aid station. I'll take 4th Squad and check to see if utilities are operational."
"Yes sir." Lt. Fisher saluted the captain and turned to confer with the remaining squad leaders. After sending 1st and 2nd squad on their way, she turned to Manny and the others.
"You heard the man." She said with a hint of nervousness in her voice. I'm sending the 1st and 2nd to clear the aid station and mess hall; the trading post is ours. Fix bayonets, only shoot if you have no other choice. We know these things are drawn to noise, so lets not ring the dinner bell for em', Hooah?"
"Hooah." Manny awkwardly attached his knife to bayonet lug on the barrel of his rifle. They practiced with bayonets, on occasion, but never used them in battle. After a few minutes, they arrived at the trading post, which was little more than a wooden shack. The window on the front door was covered by a large sign reading "CLOSED". Manny kept watch on the road with his marksman rifle, while the rest of the squad snuck around, trying to find another window, with no success.
"Son of a bitch..." Fisher muttered angrily to herself. "We're going in blind." Manny hoped the store still had electricity, otherwise the situation could turn dangerous very quickly. The squad stacked up at the entrance, with White on point. The sergeant gingerly opened the door, white-knuckling the carbine in his other hand. The lights were on; 'thank god for that', Manny thought to himself. White turned to the others and whispered so quietly they could barely hear him.
"We've got three deltas! One behind the register, one in the campcraft aisle...and one lurkin' on the floor, rear of the store." Lt. Fisher nodded.
"Gibbs, keep a look out, Ortiz, take the cashier. White, lurker. I got the camper. On my go..." She hesitated for a second. "GO!" They rushed though the entrance of store. Manny immediately turned to see a delta in his bloody scout uniform lunge at him from across the counter. He aimed the tip of the bayonet just under the creature's chin and thrust the blade forward as hard as he could. He felt surprisingly little resistance as the blade punched into the delta's brain stem. It fell like a sack of bricks, and pulled Manny along with it, nearly causing him to topple over the counter. He regained his footing and yanked the blade free just in time to see Fisher use the same technique on the walker in the campcraft aisle. Meanwhile, Sgt. White walked up to the young Boy Scout lurking face-down on the floor. He hesitated for second, closed his eyes and stomped on the back of it's skull, flattening the kid's head with a sickening pop. Fisher looked over and immediately puked on the floor.
"Fuck..." Manny whispered. Trying to keep himself from doing the same thing. White walked over to the lieutenant, who looked like she just saw a ghost, but she waved him off.
"I'm fine." She insisted. "It's nothing, just...nothing." White shrugged, and Gibbs walked through the doorway.
"We're all clear out here, ma'am." He said, clearly agitated that Fisher put him on the sidelines.
"Good, the trading post is secure." Manny walked over to the campcraft aisle and saw a rack of knives and other survival tools.
"Hey LT!" He said, "Think the Captain will mind if we...appropriate some of this stuff."
"Captain ain't here, Sergeant. Do with that what you will." White grinned, and everyone began helping themselves. Manny grabbed a sharp, iron trench-hawk(3), While Gibbs and the others grabbed Bowie knives and new canteens. White tossed a bag of peanuts at Manny's head, which he gladly picked up and stuffed into his pack. They dragged the putrid corpses outside and closed the door behind them. Lt. Fisher retrieved a pen and sticky note from her pack, scribbled something on it and attached it to the window.
3 DELTAS KIA; CLEAR
.
NCO stands for Non-Comissioned Officer, an enlisted man with the rank of Corporal or above.
The Battle of Nasiriyah: A convoy got lost and was ambushed by Revolutionary Guards near an Iraqi village, resulting in over a dozen American deaths.
A trench-hawk is a modern variation on the tomahawk that's usually made out of metal and has a small head and a spike on the reverse side.
sorry for late responses my notifications are broken with new features
I loved this another solid chapter with the essence of army style mission kept high tension thorough it was fascinating to see how it would play out with Manny and fisher. It was very enjoying reading this and feeling part of a mission it was written so well it was like I was experiencing the story instead of reading it so superb again more pls.
Hey everyone. Part One of Operation Vengeful Skull is here! Feedback is appreciated. Enjoy.
.
**CHAPTER 3: Operation Vengeful Skull… more, Part 1
5 Days In -- 6 miles outside Macon**
.
OPERATION NOTES
STRATEGIC GOAL: Survey Macon disaster zone and track movement of infectees, refugees, armed civilians.
TACTICAL OBJECTIVES
* Establish HQ at enclosed coordinates
* Scout surrounding areas
* Map out anomalies, hostile or anything else that should be considered by an occupation force.
GUIDELINES
* Maintain low profile, avoid hostile contact
* Minimize contact with civilians
* Leave no trace of bivouac sites
* Prioritize silence and evasion
.
Manny shook his head in disgust and passed Fisher's notes to White and the rest of the platoon's NCO's(1). He couldn't believe that the brass just wanted them to sit there in the woods while his family could be dying down there in that godforsaken city.
"This is … [view original content]
Glad you're liking it! Part 2 is going to be a doozy, but it should be interesting to write. I won't spoil the details, but it will feature the Motor Inn survivors, espionage and an unlikely hero. (Cue dramatic music).
sorry for late responses my notifications are broken with new features
I loved this another solid chapter with the essence of army style… more mission kept high tension thorough it was fascinating to see how it would play out with Manny and fisher. It was very enjoying reading this and feeling part of a mission it was written so well it was like I was experiencing the story instead of reading it so superb again more pls.
Glad you're liking it! Part 2 is going to be a doozy, but it should be interesting to write. I won't spoil the details, but it will feature the Motor Inn survivors, espionage and an unlikely hero. (Cue dramatic music).
Hi there, fellow Fanficer. I was very busy with work lately, so i didn't write a new part of the " long shave ahead " for quite some time. The next part is gonna be released tommorow/today. It's confirmed!
Hi there, fellow Fanficer. I was very busy with work lately, so i didn't write a new part of the " long shave ahead " for quite some time. The next part is gonna be released tommorow/today. It's confirmed!
Im in the process of writing a fanfic.its a slightly older clementine and oc story.basically Clem is 14 and finds a group because everyone is dead.my lips are sealed for now,so thats all I'll say.
Im in the process of writing a fanfic.its a slightly older clementine and oc story.basically Clem is 14 and finds a group because everyone is dead.my lips are sealed for now,so thats all I'll say.
Well fuck!I had it!I had it and almost brought it!I used this tablet to write it and it took 3 damn hours to write the first part.I was going to bring it here,but I forgot to save(or I did it just fucked up) and now almost 40% of it is gone!sighs I guess I'll have to rewrite it again...and revise...for another 3 hours...
NOO!!god dammit!!! I had it!I tried coping it,but I pressed paste instead now the whole thing is gone because I had a link pasted in it!now the entire thing is hone and I need to rewrite EVERYTHING!
Well fuck!I had it!I had it and almost brought it!I used this tablet to write it and it took 3 damn hours to write the first part.I was goin… moreg to bring it here,but I forgot to save(or I did it just fucked up) and now almost 40% of it is gone!sighs I guess I'll have to rewrite it again...and revise...for another 3 hours...
NOO!!god dammit!!! I had it!I tried coping it,but I pressed paste instead now the whole thing is gone because I had a link pasted in it!now the entire thing is hone and I need to rewrite EVERYTHING!
Well, here goes. Hopefully I won't abandon this one like I did the other one. I also might not get any feedback since Markd is banned for some reason, but whatever. Maybe I'll get some from other people.
THE WALKING DEAD
PROLOGUE
"Has anyone ever told you that you look like Anne Hathaway?"
"Yes, a few, but mostly you."
The brown-haired woman who did in FACT look like Anne Hathaway grinned from across the table, right at her husband Matthew Andrews. The blonde man with the blue baseball cap smiled back, showing a grin that made it increasingly obvious he didn't brush his teeth today. The two sat in a Wendy's, just having seen a movie on their first date in a while. The two had been married for 9 years now, and haven't had a date since....
A year? Maybe? Emily Andrews couldn't quite remember, so she took a sip from her Coca-Cola, still looking at Matthew across the table. He looked at her with that dopey grin again, and she almost laughed. His pretend stupidity was actually endearing.
She was so beautiful. Even in her white t-shirt, and her purple shorts, she was beautiful. Even with those goddamn green bracelets she wore around her neck, she was beautiful to Matthew. Maybe not to other people, but to him she was great. She had those longs locks of hair that just touched over her shoulders, and they were GREAT. Matthew was suddenly awoken from his dopeyness, as a hand waved in front of him. "Hello? Earth to Matthew." Emily waved her hand right in front of Matthew's face, him suddenly snapping back to reality. "Uh, right. Sorry."
"Caught you staring."
She grinned again, and Matthew finally regained his composure and decided to make a comeback. "Sorry, you had something right.... there." He made a hand motion that waved all around his face, then slyly smiled.
"Funny." Emily replied, just as an old song started playing over the intercom of the Wendy's. "Ooh, gotta love this song." She did a small Cabbage Patch, making her arms swung out in front of her one time, then sang along to the words of the song. "That's cute." Matthew replied, but his replies were drowned out by Emily's loud singing. "Everyone's watching! To see what you will doooo!" She sang out more, and Matthew started laughing. It actually was sort of cute, in an extremely strange and drunken way. "Everybody's, working, for the weekend!" She droned on, and Matthew heard the steps of the cashier echoing in the Wendy's. "Want a piece of my heart!" Emily sang one last time, just as the cashier, a short, chubby, Hispanic woman stood behind them, her hands on her hips and her mouth curled into a scowl.
"Can you two leave already? It's 11:00. You've been here for two hours."
Matthew looked at Emily, who appeared to be trying to contain her laughter. Matthew nodded, also trying to hide a smile, as he peered at the woman's shirt, the button on the front already having snapped off. Beer made anything funny. "Sure, sure, we're leaving." Matthew said, as he grabbed Emily's hand and pulled her off towards the door. Once they exited into the cold nighttime air, the couple immediately burst out laughing. "Oh god, did you see her button?" Emily exclaimed, and the two were thrown into another fit of laughter. "Yeah, it was gone! I think it just snapped away!" The two once more started laughing away in the parking lot, and took a good minute to regain their composure. Beer made ANYTHING funny.
"We should probably get back to Cynthia." Emily said, after they finally stopped their laughing fits. The two jumped in their white Ford Escape, after realizing they were long past Cynthia's bedtime. They were supposed to get back before 10:00, and now it was 11:00. Hopefully the babysitter was still there, and wasn't too angry. Emily jumped in the passenger seat, just after declaring "Shotgun" and Matthew had jumped into the driver's seat. Matthew drove down the country road, going two over the speed limit. Of course, the limit was only 30, but that was still kind of fast, right? Matthew was hard at thinking about the safety of his daughter when Emily spoke up again. "I really liked this. Thanks. We should do it again." She gave Matthew a small peck on the cheek, and he smiled, and looked at her, taking his eyes off of the empty and desolate road. "Oh you." He playfully replied, but his attention was diverted by Emily's sudden facial expression change into fear. "Holy shit!" She screamed, just as Matthew turned to see the person walking across the road. They crashed into the person, their body thrown off into a ditch on the side of the road. The Escape spun out of control, stopping in the middle of the road, right on the yellow lines.
Matthew released his hands from the wheels, then looked at Emily. She seemed fine, if just a little shocked and thrown off. "Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh my fucking god!" Matthew yelled, and he hit the horn, causing it to sound off into the forest. "We just fucking killed someone!" He cried out once again, as Emily stood there speechless. Matthew almost leapt out of the car, feeling sick to his stomach. He wanted to throw up. He really did. Just. Maybe he didn't kill the person. A small ray of hope shone in Matthew's heart, as he ran for the ditch, looking for the person. "Hello? Are you okay?!" He called out into the darkness, but got no response. Except for what sounded like a moaning. Not a pained moaning, more so something like, when breath left a body when someone died.
Did they kill someone? Matthew feared, but was soon helped by a figure rising up from the ditch. "Thank god you're alive. You're alive? Wait. How the fuck are you alive?!" He yelled, and he felt a hand touch his shoulder, as Emily walked up beside him. "They're okay?!" She said, then turned to see the figure that walked towards them. It was horrific. The person's face was rotted, they were missing an arm and their clothes were torn and worn. Their eyes were soulless, and it groaned out, reaching for Emily. "No!" Matthew grabbed Emily and pulled her back, and the two ran back for the car. The two sped off, and they looked at each other in horror. "What the fuck was that?!" Emily cried out, tears welling up in her eyes. "Shit. We need to get to Cynthia. We need to get to Cynthia."
Emily and Matthew burst through the doors to their home, and found the babysitter, Sandra, watching late night TV. "Hey Mr. and Mrs. Andrews. What's the rush?"
"Where's Cynthia?" Emily said, slightly calming herself after seeing Sandra calm and cool. "She's in her bed, sleeping." Matthew nearly busted down the door trying to get to Cynthia. She was sleeping, just like the teenage Sandra had said. Matthew flipped on the lights, and Cynthia drowsily awoke. "Dad?" She called out, as Matthew kneeled down to Cynthia, and pulled her out of bed. "You okay Cee?" He said, and when the 9-year old nodded, he smiled. She was also quite adorable, with black hair that was shaped into a ponytail ALL the time, and three light freckles that dotted her face. She looked very similar to her mother, and that was the way Matthew liked it. "Get dressed, we have to go."
"Okay, where are we going?"
"I'll tell you later, okay?"
Cynthia nodded, and Matthew calmly left her to her room. He saw Emily and Sandra conversing in the living room, and walked up to them. Emily turned to him, a stressed look on her face. "I was just telling Sandra that she needed to go. I already paid her, too."
Sandra nodded and joined in on the conversing, as she always did. "Yeah, I'm headed to Ed and Diana's to watch Clem. They said they were leaving tonight, and I'm late. See ya later guys." Sandra said, and was about to bolt out the door, when Cynthia came out of her room. Sandra turned and smiled, ruffled Cynthia's hair, then walked towards the door. "Sandra, you sure you don't need any help? We don't want you or Clementine to get hurt." Matthew said, and Sandra solemnly looked at them. "It's fine. You guys need to leave town now. I can take care of Clementine, and even if I couldn't she's a smart girl. Just like Cee over there. Anyways, I've really got to go. I'll see you guys later." They waved goodbye to Sandra, then began to start packing things into their white Escape.
The trio drove off, Cynthia sitting behind Matthew, and Emily once again in the passenger seat. "Are we gonna be okay, Matt?" Emily said, and looked at Matthew with a true fear in her eyes. Matthew held back tears. She never called him Matt, unless she was in great fear. She did it on the roller coaster ride, she did it while she was having her surgery for her leg, she called him Matt when they were in financial debt. But this right here, was true fear. It tore him apart to know she was this scared, but he had to console her. "We'll be fine, I promise." Matthew said, speeding down the highway. His ears suddenly perked up at a loud truck honking, and his head spun to the side to see a large 18-wheeler speeding towards them. "No!" He cried out, as the 18-wheeler made contact, and glass exploded around them.
They were upside down. They were upside down. Matthew grabbed his head, then looked around the car, and realized they had crashed. He grabbed his seatbelt and unbuckled it, then looked over to the passenger's seat, to see Emily slumped up on the car's ceiling, her head tilted in an unnatural position and her entire body bloodied and cut. Matthew saw that her door was destroyed, and it had basically crushed her leg. She was unconscious, it seemed, and her seatbelt was torn apart. Matthew reached a hand at to her, an "Em" coming out. He fell out of the car, and saw a small figure walking towards him. It was Cynthia, holding her arm, soaked in blood and crying. "Daddy?" She asked, as Matthew crawled around to the other side of the car. He now saw the 18-wheeler, overturned on the side of the road, now on fire. Matthew was paying attention the bright fire lighting up the sky however, he was paying attention to the now destroyed car. He crawled over to his wive's seat, and saw that the car door easily opened up.
Matthew pulled Emily out, and held her blood caked head in his arms. He grabbed at her chest, checking for a heartbeat. Nothing. His eyes widened, as he searched desperately for another pulse. Her wrist. Her neck. Matthew began to cry, snot flying from his nose, and tears falling into Emily's blood soaked hair. "Em, no. Please don't die. Emily, please. Em. Noo. Pleaseee. Emily, don't die. Don't die."
"Mommy?" Cynthia now walked up, and saw her father cradling her dead mother's head. The two cried together into the night, sirens in the distance being the background song to their sorrow.
Well, Marky boy, since you're back and all, I will eventually post the next part for Max's and Rayne's story. I dunno when I'll post it, but it'll be done, you can count on it.
By the by, we lost a couple of storytellers over on the other story thread (unfortunately), you'll see what I'm talking about if you haven't noticed already.
Well, Marky boy, since you're back and all, I will eventually post the next part for Max's and Rayne's story. I dunno when I'll post it, but… more it'll be done, you can count on it.
By the by, we lost a couple of storytellers over on the other story thread (unfortunately), you'll see what I'm talking about if you haven't noticed already.
This thread is up and running again for story's I was banned recently so couldn't review but it's back open again and I'll review what I missed shortly I can't wait for more storie's sorry for the delay
Fyi, I also wanted to say thank you for mentioning me in your comment on the 'how would you describe each forum member' thread. I know it took me forever to say it, so thank you again! I do appreciate stuff like that.
"I won't, back, down. Gonna stand, my, ground. You can stand me up, at the gates of Hell, but I won't, back, down."
The old man played his guitar drunkenly and shakily, but yet still people dropped little morsels of food in the bucket he had provided in front of the chair he sat in. He had a gray beard and gray hair that were both terribly greasy and stuck out in many places. The old man's name was Rick, and he lived in the community of Crawford. The community had been formed by Oberson Crawford a few months after the apocalypse, and it was quite a peaceful place. Well, Crawford himself was slightly troubled, but that was beside the point. The community was nice, it was friendly, and Matthew Andrews loved it. It was paradise. He sat clapping for the old man a little ways away, and threw him a small bottle of water. The old man tipped his hat, then began playing another song. Matthew was just about to start listening again, when he felt someone calling for him and steps directly behind his standing place.
"Matthew, what the hell are you doing."
It was Jon, coming up right behind him. Matthew turned, grinned, then turned back to Rick's singing. "I'm just listening to Rick singing. He's pretty good, actually." Jon sighed, and shook his head. "You know what I meant Matthew. What are you doing not doing prefect work?" He asked, and Matthew returned the sigh. "Because lot's of trouble happens in Crawford, right? I'm just entertaining myself. Doing the same thing over and over again will drive you insane." Jon joined Matthew in his watching of the old man singing, when the woman beside them pulled out a cigarette. "Come on Neri, we don't need smoke coughing up our lungs now." Jon said, his eyes squinting at the beautiful woman beside him simply smiled. "You wanna light it?" She asked, and Jon shook his head. "I'm not helping you kill yourself."
Neri's bottom lip stuck out, and thus she looked to Matthew. "What about you?" Matthew rolled his eyes, but complied with her wishes. "Sure." He said, as she handed him her liter. Matthew reached over and lot the cigarette in her mouth, then handed her the liter. "Thanks." She replied, with the cigarette still in her mouth. "Why'd you let her do that?" Jon asked, shaking his head. "There are walking corpses eating people in this world. Cancer is the least of her problems." As the three stood in a small crowd around the old man, and the light from the cigarette illuminated their bodies, Matthew couldn't help but feel a strange senses inside of him. He felt normal. Like he wasn't in the apocalypse, like his wife hadn't died six months ago. Smoke filled the air, and Jon was thrown in a fit of coughing. "That's it, I'm leaving." He said, and started walking off. Neri smiled, and followed after him. "What, does the smoke have cooties?"
As Matthew watched the college kid with the glasses and the waitress with the silky black hair walk off, he couldn't help but frown. It was weird feeling normal, it was weird feeling like things were the way they used to be. Because no matter what, they weren't. Maybe someday they would be the same, but right now they weren't. It wasn't the same, even if people tried to pretend it was. Matthew gave out a deep sigh, then peered at his watch. Crawford had thousands of the things in storage, and gave them out to every resident in the community. It was 10:00, the end of his shift. Matthew left the crowd, and headed straight for his small dorm.
"Dad!" Cynthia yelped in surprise, smiled, and hugged her dad. Matthew smiled, then crouched down to get on her level. "Hey, Cee. You ready to head to bed?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Has Aylaela come by today?"
"No, not today."
Matthew sighed, and then grinned as he looked at his daughter. Aylaela was an 18-year old girl who had shown quite the interest in Cynthia. She was a farmer's girl who always wore this tacky t-shirt with the words "I like big books and I cannot lie." She was still the nicest girl he had ever met, and she helped out around the community a lot. Matthew walked with Cynthia to her bed, let her get changed, said goodnight, then headed on to the living room. He took his pistol out from his holster, laid it down on the table beside him, then crashed onto the couch. He simply layed there, looking at the ceiling, just thinking. His senses kept detecting stomping throughout the hotel they stayed in, but he ignored it as Logan, the old, pudgy man at the counter, yelling at some customers. He was a sweet guy, but if you made him mad, you made him MAD. Matthew smiled at the thoughts of Logan, the fat old man, getting angry. His face all puffy and red, and him attempting to run after some laughing teenagers. He was awokened from his thoughts at a knock on the door.
Matthew drowsily got up, grabbed his pistol, then headed for the door. He looked through the peephole and saw Sam on the other side. Sam was a pretty boy, with this blonde crew cut and he wore a plain gray t-shirt, which Matthew assumed was to show his muscles off to Aylaela. It was obvious the two did like each other, but when asked about it the suggestion was shot down completely. Matthew unlocked the door, then pulled it open. "Yeah, what is it?"
"It's Freddy. He, uh, tried to kill another girl."
"Who?"
"Melissa."
Matthew cringed at the name. Melissa. Sweet, caring Melissa had almost been raped and killed by that stupid redneck Freddy. The brown-haired woman had already gone through so much, and now that serial killer with a second chance had almost gotten her. Matthew nodded solemnly, rubbed his eyes, then finally spoke again. "I'll be there in a second. Let me get dressed." The door shut, and Matthew walked over to where he had thrown his jeans off. He put them on then zipped them up, and headed for the door. He saw Sam still patiently waiting for him, then walked out, making sure to lock the hotel room door behind him.
"He's in there." Harry stated, the former mobster propped up against the wall beside the door, with an assault rifle on hand. Matthew nodded, and looked above the door to see some scrawled writing that was sloppily written by one of the prisoners. "The Cell." Sam said, then thus scratched the back of his head. The Cell was no more than a school bathroom, with the stalls and the toilets taken out. It was a shame they kept their prisoners right next to Crawford's main office inside the high school. Matthew could hear repeated smacking and yelling in the room, and grabbed the doorknob, and pushed it open. There was Freddy, his face bloodied, dripping into his bald head and his white, sweaty muscle shirt. Terrence, a man in a camouflage military uniform and a black beard and long black mullet, stood beating Freddy to a pulp. "You motherfucker! She was my fucking sister!" He yelled as he punched him, his knuckles bloody and bruised. "Terrence, that's enough!" Matthew called out, and Terrence turned around to face him. "You don't fucking understand! He fucking tried to kill my sister!"
"I understand that. But there's no use in beating his face to shit."
Terrence frowned, but nodded and walked over to a corner of The Cell. He grumbled something unintelligible, but he accepted Matthew's rank above him. Sam pulled a chair out, then put his back into another corner. Matthew sat in the chair, facing Freddy. He noticed his blood wrists and the handcuffs around them and around the chair. It was obvious he had already tried to escape. "Freddy." Matthew said, his eyes squinting.
Freddy sat still for a few moments, in a vegetative state of shock. After a few minutes, he seemed to regain his sense and look at Matthew. He grinned, and his bloody mouth and missing teeth shone out. "Why am I in trouble? All I did was have consent with a beaut-I-ful girl." He sounded out every syllable in the word, his country accent showing. Terrence shuffled and moved towards Freddy, but Matthew swung his hand out in front of him. "Hold on, Terrence." Terrence reluctantly backed into the corner again, and Matthew continued the conversation. "Freddy Aaron, you are under arrest for attempted rape and attempted murder. You do NOT have the right to be silent." He said, and then shivered as Freddy licked his lips and smiled. "Oh, mister, it wasn't an attempt. It was full on sex. I fucked her so hard it looked like her brains were gonna pop out. It was fucking GREEate." As he said that last word, he made sure to look at Terrence, who was getting even more being by the minute. "I was gonna cut her a new hole to fuck, but she ran before I could do anything. Now, I'm here."
Matthew closed his eyes in disgust, then sat up. "Have at him." He said, and Terrence smiled slyly. Freddy started pleading, but his cries were muffled by Terrence knocking him over and proceeding to punch him over and over. Sam followed Matthew out the door, walked past Harry, and watched as Matthew walked to the hotel.
I had the highest possible expectations for this chapter that ended up being surpassed easily and perfectly just amazing I really felt out of my depth reviewing this your like a professional writer and million times better then I'll ever be I'm just in awe genius and quality it will take all night to review it but I'll keep it short and sweet as the story speaks for itself
The grammar and spacing perfect never got lost in a mess of words or spotted any mistakes
The characters behave exactly like TWD game exactly as I imagined so I felt that made me connect more
The level of detail in you go into in each scene is unbelieveable the way you go through what's happening, what each characters thinking at that moment and what the place looks like. I could clearly see Clem motives and line of thoughts to come to any conclusion making me as a reader experience the scene the same as Clem constantly refelecting and thinking about how to outwit and beat any challenge then seeing if she can pull it off was really edge of my seat stuff.
You showed the weak side of Clem losing most battles or challenges making her little girl persona believeable and ultimately as a reader made me really connect. The tension and excitement really builds up every challenge she faced as I generally didn't know if she would survive or beat it as a writer just genius really humanizes the character and adds great depth to the character.
Character references and flashbacks were just awesome seeing her experiences that molded her and the characters we know and love guide and affect her decisions indirectly in the story in the future just awesome.
So gruesome sucides, killing multiple zombies and blood everywhere etc you really were not afraid to show the dark side of the ZA making the story believeable and unpredictable as a reader you know you not afraid to do anything so expect the unexpected it was so exciting I was hooked to every line.
Pschology and Morals; Seeing Clem struggle with every decision comtemplating the difference between right and wrong in a split second decision was just incredible. This story had so much care in helping the reader completely understand Clem mind and what morals she lives by and how she inforces them was just incredible. The little things like failing to shoot or getting her hat back how essential the little things were to keep her sain and her hope highs up just genius.
Comedy between Luke and Clem the moments between the chaos and pain really warmed my heart and served as perfect and believeable team bonding journey story. I always smiled after Clem survived another attack or incident and just to see her laugh to Lukes bad jokes or enjoying some mini games was a nice break from the intense moment and made me love Lukes character.
I hated Luke now I like Luke I seen him as a cheesy and clique in the game before reading this now I want him to be on Clem's team forever what a hero and a legend he would gladly risk his life just for clem to live another day just beautiful seeing all the sacrifice he went though for my little Clem.
I liked the way this story matched my decisions like making Clem take a breath before she shoots or only kill walkers speech many feels.
Felt more like watching a movie then reading a book it was so well written whether was action or Clem and lukes chitchats I could always picture then perfectly and was alway excited to see the next line.
This story had everything violence, comedy, action
Overall
This is the best fanfic I have ever read I'd even go as far to say if telltale sold your story as a season of TWD I would pay full price and would be delighted with my purchase I wished you wrote season 2 you have a lot more talented then their writers and be a much better story it's been an absolute honor reading this.
Rating
The only story which achieved a perfect score on this thread and fully deserved 10
I plan on finishing this review tomorrow theres a few scenes I want to go through I wrote down few buzz words together to remind me of each scene I want to talk about as I was reading to remind me I'll go through them tommorrow below.
family
Lukes/failure/success gun training. House teaching her to shoot took a breath
dogfood
Monsters were the same
deception and davis and martha JOEDECISION
A kids unpredictable
Killing is bad no matter what
Sarah immaturity ended up helping clem with a hug
Luke and Clem finding blood VAMPIRE weak carrying
Luke blood drip
They won't need to be a team in wellington hide poker
silent film walkers ice
Bubbles laughter luke
nightmare parents under the ice and water turn into blood her crying and begging come back
Well, here goes. Hopefully I won't abandon this one like I did the other one. I also might not get any feedback since Markd is banned for so… moreme reason, but whatever. Maybe I'll get some from other people.
THE WALKING DEAD
PROLOGUE
"Has anyone ever told you that you look like Anne Hathaway?"
"Yes, a few, but mostly you."
The brown-haired woman who did in FACT look like Anne Hathaway grinned from across the table, right at her husband Matthew Andrews. The blonde man with the blue baseball cap smiled back, showing a grin that made it increasingly obvious he didn't brush his teeth today. The two sat in a Wendy's, just having seen a movie on their first date in a while. The two had been married for 9 years now, and haven't had a date since....
A year? Maybe? Emily Andrews couldn't quite remember, so she took a sip from her Coca-Cola, still looking at Matthew across the table. He looked at her with that dopey grin again, and she al… [view original content]
Comments
Sorry for the late reviews I was busy the last couple of days anyway reading them now
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Your story is pretty cool; happy birthday to you.
lol superb again so many conveniently placed objects and Nazi zombies love it lol
Markd, you'r back...i thought you were dead! ;D
I was awaiting your return before i continue my Fanfic. More epicness coming " super soon"!
So beautiful with great character depth nice to see different side of Rayne who I'm really connecting with as a character I really love her really fleshed out character. Really slow pace with mostly dialogue but enjoyed learning more about the characters and seeing their interactions with each other so as writer must be applauded few can do that. Just brilliant can't wait for more Dragon
I just got lucky real lucky
can't wait for this epicness
Read two chapters(do a full review when your finished the complete story)
Enjoyed first chapter more based around chapter depth and furthering the plot but still enjoyed learning more about this army style story and how everything works and seeing the effects of this crazy situation of the soldiers a very fascinating read you really built a solid foundation
Second After you built the foundation and I have connected with the characters more it made the action more exciting and unexpected in this chapter just exploded into life a gripping read I love seeing the politics side of war especially the line In "war, truth is the first casualty" EXACTLY LOVE IT!!
Overall just superb so scary and disturbing just what I like in story's I never knew what to expect and always looked forward to the next line I NEED TO SEE MORE!!
Thank you like always, man. The question is: will she trust Max until the end? And can Max trust her now that she threatened him? Stay tuned for more, ooooooooo.
Thanks! And you will see more soon.
By the way, any title suggestions? I still don't have one
YES!! I'm so excited and for suggestions I'm not sure Army of the Dead?
Just caught up on your two chapters Aw!! you have a really unique style so sweet and beautiful. The descriptions and character depth makes me really connect with the characters so brilliantly written so many feels :'). Can't wait for more
Yes more pls!! l0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000!!
Ah, thanks
I hope you enjoyed my story as much as I did writing it
Thanks! I'm planning on doing as many chapters as it takes to get this story out! I've been thinking a lot of what I want to add, but the general story plot is in my head for now.
Chapter 5: Moving Forward.
Carter Jones
"We've just entered Florida!" Exclaims Eva. She sticks her hand out the window and cheers. This whole family is full of happy people. Zoey tugs on my shirt, pointing West.
"When are you planning on separating from us?" She asks. Her brown eyes have a veil of dampness on it.
"Ah, probably tomorrow. We'll see." I say. It doesn't do much to assure her.
"Well, goodluck." Her voice is rash. She doesn't want me to go, that much is evident.
The car halts to a stop in an abandoned parking lot. Pee break. We park in a space, not that it matters though. Each person goes off in their own direction while I stay at the car with Zoey.
"I can help you," She says.
"What?"
"If you let me go with you, I can help you get to the HQ. I....I know where it is."
I scoff,"How? Unless you're apart of DESERT, no one gets out alive."
"I'm apart of DESERT," She says.
"What?!"
"Well, I mean. I was apart of DESERT. Me and Bill and Eva. No lie."
"You're bluffing."
"Nope."
"How the- What?"
She sighs, pulling her purse near her. She pulls out a plastic card.
"See? My ID card."
"How'd you get out?" I pull the card from her hands, examining it.
"We were from an older unit. One that was overrun by..."
"Lurkers?"
"Yeah. It was unfortunate. I lost friends. You know, it was before the whole group went all corrupt and stuff. I was a kid then, the whole unit was. Kids, families. Training. Anyway, we were offered to join the bigger group at the HQ, but we were too scarred from what happened. We left. Now its just me and my family."
"No way. So can you-"
"Do super ninja moves? No. But I can sneak you in and out without drawing attention. One of our lessons was memorizing maps to main buildings we'd someday join. I guess they didn't plan for the ones who decided to leave. I know all the ducts, entrances."
"Why do you still remember?"
"What else can I do? It's not like we have much technology anymore. Plus, I thought that maybe one day I'd need it. Like now."
I frowned. I can't ask her to risk her life for me. It was hard enough leaving the people I called family.
"You can't go."
"But~"
"No." Just then, Nate emerged from the rows of cars, jumping in through the open doorway.
"Sup guys. Hope you weren't macking it out here. That's gross."
Zoey stuck her tongue out and scowled. Then she looked at me sad again. Disappointed.
Emery Rose Huberman
I let the cold water run down my back without moving or attempting to wipe the grime away. I've never felt so alone without him. I never thought I'd feel this way. I never thought I'd need him to be with me so much.
Stop it, I tell myself.
Stop making yourself a pity party.
A knock at the door.
"You alright? It's been 15 minutes." Juan.
"Yeah. I'll be out."
I grab the towel from the sink, wrapping it around my body. I look in the mirror, at my thin complexion. My long brown hair reaches past my shoulders when it's not in a pony tail. There's a firmness in my arms, yet I'm still rather lanky.
Unattractive.
I shudder at the cold breeze from the window, and force myself into new clothes. When I get out into the hall, both guys are standing there. Concerned.
"We need to find that goddamn boy," Says Juan. He said it jokingly, but his face was serious.
"We need to find him now." Adds Derek.
We get dressed into light clothes. We pack a bag of supplies. I grab my notebook, an extra shirt and underwear. Juan knocks on the door once more.
"Me and Derek talked. He's staying here. He's also keeping the truck here. We go on foot."
"Foot? Wouldn't truck be faster?"
"Yeah, but how do you know he took roads to the HQ? Ain't it in the woods, near the Louisiana border? At this rate, he's either there, or making his way there. We can still catch up. Lets go."
I sling the bag onto my back. Just before exiting, I hug Derek.
"Be safe now. Be careful," He says, patting my head.
We depart around noon. There's enough food for a few days, then we'll have to hunt. It's a dangerous path, but we need to save Carter. This won't turn out good. He will die if we don't stop him.
That's all for now! I hope it was good!
So far excellent flows so well with great pacing thanks for the share can't wait for more
Hey everyone. Part One of Operation Vengeful Skull is here! Feedback is appreciated. Enjoy.
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**CHAPTER 3: Operation Vengeful Skull, Part 1
5 Days In -- 6 miles outside Macon**
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OPERATION NOTES
STRATEGIC GOAL: Survey Macon disaster zone and track movement of infectees, refugees, armed civilians.
TACTICAL OBJECTIVES
GUIDELINES
.
Manny shook his head in disgust and passed Fisher's notes to White and the rest of the platoon's NCO's(1). He couldn't believe that the brass just wanted them to sit there in the woods while his family could be dying down there in that godforsaken city.
"This is fucking bullshit..." Manny cursed under his breath. Captain Parker, apparently heard him and turned away from his briefing with Fisher, his hawk-like eyes narrowing.
"Something to report, Sergeant?" He said condescendingly. Manny just glared at him and turned away. He held a grudge against the Captain since last March when he led the company into an Iraqi ambush at Nasiriyah.
"No sir."
He didn't have long to fume over their mission, everyone got up and silently checking their gear as the transport vehicles came whining to a stop.
Manny and the rest of the 2nd Platoon filed out of the canvas topped truck beds where they spent the last few hours, yawning awkwardly and blinking into the morning light. The ride over had been spent mostly in oppressive silence; save for the dull roar of Diesel engines and Captain Parker's constant blathering. Some of the guardsmen managed to sleep on the ride over, but Manny didn't understand how. Lt. Fisher dropped a bombshell on the entire platoon just before they were about to mount up.
"We're all infected." He thought to himself for the thirtieth time. He suspected it, when the spooks came to execute the dying patients at the medical tent, but the words still hit him like a brick. Any chance of things going back to normal in the foreseeable future was obliterated with those three words. Every suicide, infection or accident would create new enemies and dangers. He couldn't stop imagining Pvt. Cho's upper-half crawling around Atlanta, his intestines dragging along behind him.
"Packs on, safety's on." Lt. Fisher went down the line of guardsmen, keeping her voice down to avoid attracting attention. "Packs on, safety's on. Packs on, safety's on." The men and women nodded in agreement, got their gear together and began their quiet march into the woods.
"Fucking hell." Manny turned around and caught Corporal Gibbs as he toppled over a tree branch. "Thanks." He muttered. The woods were oddly quiet, with only the chirping of birds and occasional bursts of gunfire in the distance. The hike would've been peaceful if it wasn't so damn hot; 8:00AM and it was already pushing 85 degrees. He turned to see White huffing and puffing under the weight of his pack and M4 Carbine, eventually, he tapped Manny on the shoulder and caught up to him.
"Hey, you think Lieutenant Newbie up there is ready for this?" He panted. Manny gestured for him to keep his voice down.
"Cut Fisher a break," he whispered "it's her time on this kind of operation." White didn't look very reassured.
"That's what I'm talking about; she's got no combat experience!"
"She handled Atlanta well." Manny said
"Yeah, but that was just four of us...leading a platoon is different." White was being paranoid but he had a point. "All I'm saying is we gotta be prepared to step up if it comes to that."
"Yeah, I guess." He mumbled dismissively, "I'm more worried about how Gibbs will handle it."
"Yeah, well...any number of tragedies could befall a man like Corporal Gibbs." White said, chuckling darkly. "Maybe he's mistaken for a delta or gets lost out on patrol..."
"Jesus Christ, this again?" Manny hissed. "Just kill him or shut the fuck up about it." Sgt. White grinned wryly.
"I'm just sayin' that the world's a dangerous place, is all" The platoon trudged through the woods in silence for two more hours. By the time Captain Parker signaled them to halt, Manny's hands were so sweaty he could barely keep a grip on his M14. He could see the road up ahead, and a sign that read Macon Scout Camp. Both platoons (roughly 45 guardsmen in total) huddled around their officers.
"Alright, listen up!" Parker said quietly. "We've going to clear this camp site and establish a base of operations." He reached into his backpack and passed maps to Fisher and Shockey, a competent African-American lieutenant whom Manny remembered from Iraq. "Shockey, split 1st Platoon and clear the peripheral campsites; A, B, C and D."
"Yes sir." Shockey said, nodding in agreement. "1st Platoon, on me." Just over half the men left the pack and followed their lieutenant.
"2nd Platoon, you're clearing the mess hall, trading post and first aid station. I'll take 4th Squad and check to see if utilities are operational."
"Yes sir." Lt. Fisher saluted the captain and turned to confer with the remaining squad leaders. After sending 1st and 2nd squad on their way, she turned to Manny and the others.
"You heard the man." She said with a hint of nervousness in her voice. I'm sending the 1st and 2nd to clear the aid station and mess hall; the trading post is ours. Fix bayonets, only shoot if you have no other choice. We know these things are drawn to noise, so lets not ring the dinner bell for em', Hooah?"
"Hooah." Manny awkwardly attached his knife to bayonet lug on the barrel of his rifle. They practiced with bayonets, on occasion, but never used them in battle. After a few minutes, they arrived at the trading post, which was little more than a wooden shack. The window on the front door was covered by a large sign reading "CLOSED". Manny kept watch on the road with his marksman rifle, while the rest of the squad snuck around, trying to find another window, with no success.
"Son of a bitch..." Fisher muttered angrily to herself. "We're going in blind." Manny hoped the store still had electricity, otherwise the situation could turn dangerous very quickly. The squad stacked up at the entrance, with White on point. The sergeant gingerly opened the door, white-knuckling the carbine in his other hand. The lights were on; 'thank god for that', Manny thought to himself. White turned to the others and whispered so quietly they could barely hear him.
"We've got three deltas! One behind the register, one in the campcraft aisle...and one lurkin' on the floor, rear of the store." Lt. Fisher nodded.
"Gibbs, keep a look out, Ortiz, take the cashier. White, lurker. I got the camper. On my go..." She hesitated for a second. "GO!" They rushed though the entrance of store. Manny immediately turned to see a delta in his bloody scout uniform lunge at him from across the counter. He aimed the tip of the bayonet just under the creature's chin and thrust the blade forward as hard as he could. He felt surprisingly little resistance as the blade punched into the delta's brain stem. It fell like a sack of bricks, and pulled Manny along with it, nearly causing him to topple over the counter. He regained his footing and yanked the blade free just in time to see Fisher use the same technique on the walker in the campcraft aisle. Meanwhile, Sgt. White walked up to the young Boy Scout lurking face-down on the floor. He hesitated for second, closed his eyes and stomped on the back of it's skull, flattening the kid's head with a sickening pop. Fisher looked over and immediately puked on the floor.
"Fuck..." Manny whispered. Trying to keep himself from doing the same thing. White walked over to the lieutenant, who looked like she just saw a ghost, but she waved him off.
"I'm fine." She insisted. "It's nothing, just...nothing." White shrugged, and Gibbs walked through the doorway.
"We're all clear out here, ma'am." He said, clearly agitated that Fisher put him on the sidelines.
"Good, the trading post is secure." Manny walked over to the campcraft aisle and saw a rack of knives and other survival tools.
"Hey LT!" He said, "Think the Captain will mind if we...appropriate some of this stuff."
"Captain ain't here, Sergeant. Do with that what you will." White grinned, and everyone began helping themselves. Manny grabbed a sharp, iron trench-hawk(3), While Gibbs and the others grabbed Bowie knives and new canteens. White tossed a bag of peanuts at Manny's head, which he gladly picked up and stuffed into his pack. They dragged the putrid corpses outside and closed the door behind them. Lt. Fisher retrieved a pen and sticky note from her pack, scribbled something on it and attached it to the window.
3 DELTAS KIA; CLEAR
.
NCO stands for Non-Comissioned Officer, an enlisted man with the rank of Corporal or above.
The Battle of Nasiriyah: A convoy got lost and was ambushed by Revolutionary Guards near an Iraqi village, resulting in over a dozen American deaths.
A trench-hawk is a modern variation on the tomahawk that's usually made out of metal and has a small head and a spike on the reverse side.
sorry for late responses my notifications are broken with new features
I loved this another solid chapter with the essence of army style mission kept high tension thorough it was fascinating to see how it would play out with Manny and fisher. It was very enjoying reading this and feeling part of a mission it was written so well it was like I was experiencing the story instead of reading it so superb again more pls.
Glad you're liking it! Part 2 is going to be a doozy, but it should be interesting to write. I won't spoil the details, but it will feature the Motor Inn survivors, espionage and an unlikely hero. (Cue dramatic music).
I love your unique style I can't for more ACTION YES!!
Hi there, fellow Fanficer. I was very busy with work lately, so i didn't write a new part of the " long shave ahead " for quite some time. The next part is gonna be released tommorow/today. It's confirmed!
lol Yes can't wait
Im in the process of writing a fanfic.its a slightly older clementine and oc story.basically Clem is 14 and finds a group because everyone is dead.my lips are sealed for now,so thats all I'll say.
YES!! another story to read sounds awesome I can't wait to read it
Well fuck!I had it!I had it and almost brought it!I used this tablet to write it and it took 3 damn hours to write the first part.I was going to bring it here,but I forgot to save(or I did it just fucked up) and now almost 40% of it is gone!sighs I guess I'll have to rewrite it again...and revise...for another 3 hours...
NOO!!god dammit!!! I had it!I tried coping it,but I pressed paste instead now the whole thing is gone because I had a link pasted in it!now the entire thing is hone and I need to rewrite EVERYTHING!
Are you using Microsoft Word? If so, Ctrl+Z should get it back.
If not, you probably should.
Google doc on a tablet.I'm fucked!
Well, here goes. Hopefully I won't abandon this one like I did the other one. I also might not get any feedback since Markd is banned for some reason, but whatever. Maybe I'll get some from other people.
THE WALKING DEAD
PROLOGUE
"Has anyone ever told you that you look like Anne Hathaway?"
"Yes, a few, but mostly you."
The brown-haired woman who did in FACT look like Anne Hathaway grinned from across the table, right at her husband Matthew Andrews. The blonde man with the blue baseball cap smiled back, showing a grin that made it increasingly obvious he didn't brush his teeth today. The two sat in a Wendy's, just having seen a movie on their first date in a while. The two had been married for 9 years now, and haven't had a date since....
A year? Maybe? Emily Andrews couldn't quite remember, so she took a sip from her Coca-Cola, still looking at Matthew across the table. He looked at her with that dopey grin again, and she almost laughed. His pretend stupidity was actually endearing.
She was so beautiful. Even in her white t-shirt, and her purple shorts, she was beautiful. Even with those goddamn green bracelets she wore around her neck, she was beautiful to Matthew. Maybe not to other people, but to him she was great. She had those longs locks of hair that just touched over her shoulders, and they were GREAT. Matthew was suddenly awoken from his dopeyness, as a hand waved in front of him. "Hello? Earth to Matthew." Emily waved her hand right in front of Matthew's face, him suddenly snapping back to reality. "Uh, right. Sorry."
"Caught you staring."
She grinned again, and Matthew finally regained his composure and decided to make a comeback. "Sorry, you had something right.... there." He made a hand motion that waved all around his face, then slyly smiled.
"Funny." Emily replied, just as an old song started playing over the intercom of the Wendy's. "Ooh, gotta love this song." She did a small Cabbage Patch, making her arms swung out in front of her one time, then sang along to the words of the song. "That's cute." Matthew replied, but his replies were drowned out by Emily's loud singing. "Everyone's watching! To see what you will doooo!" She sang out more, and Matthew started laughing. It actually was sort of cute, in an extremely strange and drunken way. "Everybody's, working, for the weekend!" She droned on, and Matthew heard the steps of the cashier echoing in the Wendy's. "Want a piece of my heart!" Emily sang one last time, just as the cashier, a short, chubby, Hispanic woman stood behind them, her hands on her hips and her mouth curled into a scowl.
"Can you two leave already? It's 11:00. You've been here for two hours."
Matthew looked at Emily, who appeared to be trying to contain her laughter. Matthew nodded, also trying to hide a smile, as he peered at the woman's shirt, the button on the front already having snapped off. Beer made anything funny. "Sure, sure, we're leaving." Matthew said, as he grabbed Emily's hand and pulled her off towards the door. Once they exited into the cold nighttime air, the couple immediately burst out laughing. "Oh god, did you see her button?" Emily exclaimed, and the two were thrown into another fit of laughter. "Yeah, it was gone! I think it just snapped away!" The two once more started laughing away in the parking lot, and took a good minute to regain their composure. Beer made ANYTHING funny.
"We should probably get back to Cynthia." Emily said, after they finally stopped their laughing fits. The two jumped in their white Ford Escape, after realizing they were long past Cynthia's bedtime. They were supposed to get back before 10:00, and now it was 11:00. Hopefully the babysitter was still there, and wasn't too angry. Emily jumped in the passenger seat, just after declaring "Shotgun" and Matthew had jumped into the driver's seat. Matthew drove down the country road, going two over the speed limit. Of course, the limit was only 30, but that was still kind of fast, right? Matthew was hard at thinking about the safety of his daughter when Emily spoke up again. "I really liked this. Thanks. We should do it again." She gave Matthew a small peck on the cheek, and he smiled, and looked at her, taking his eyes off of the empty and desolate road. "Oh you." He playfully replied, but his attention was diverted by Emily's sudden facial expression change into fear. "Holy shit!" She screamed, just as Matthew turned to see the person walking across the road. They crashed into the person, their body thrown off into a ditch on the side of the road. The Escape spun out of control, stopping in the middle of the road, right on the yellow lines.
Matthew released his hands from the wheels, then looked at Emily. She seemed fine, if just a little shocked and thrown off. "Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh my fucking god!" Matthew yelled, and he hit the horn, causing it to sound off into the forest. "We just fucking killed someone!" He cried out once again, as Emily stood there speechless. Matthew almost leapt out of the car, feeling sick to his stomach. He wanted to throw up. He really did. Just. Maybe he didn't kill the person. A small ray of hope shone in Matthew's heart, as he ran for the ditch, looking for the person. "Hello? Are you okay?!" He called out into the darkness, but got no response. Except for what sounded like a moaning. Not a pained moaning, more so something like, when breath left a body when someone died.
Did they kill someone? Matthew feared, but was soon helped by a figure rising up from the ditch. "Thank god you're alive. You're alive? Wait. How the fuck are you alive?!" He yelled, and he felt a hand touch his shoulder, as Emily walked up beside him. "They're okay?!" She said, then turned to see the figure that walked towards them. It was horrific. The person's face was rotted, they were missing an arm and their clothes were torn and worn. Their eyes were soulless, and it groaned out, reaching for Emily. "No!" Matthew grabbed Emily and pulled her back, and the two ran back for the car. The two sped off, and they looked at each other in horror. "What the fuck was that?!" Emily cried out, tears welling up in her eyes. "Shit. We need to get to Cynthia. We need to get to Cynthia."
Emily and Matthew burst through the doors to their home, and found the babysitter, Sandra, watching late night TV. "Hey Mr. and Mrs. Andrews. What's the rush?"
"Where's Cynthia?" Emily said, slightly calming herself after seeing Sandra calm and cool. "She's in her bed, sleeping." Matthew nearly busted down the door trying to get to Cynthia. She was sleeping, just like the teenage Sandra had said. Matthew flipped on the lights, and Cynthia drowsily awoke. "Dad?" She called out, as Matthew kneeled down to Cynthia, and pulled her out of bed. "You okay Cee?" He said, and when the 9-year old nodded, he smiled. She was also quite adorable, with black hair that was shaped into a ponytail ALL the time, and three light freckles that dotted her face. She looked very similar to her mother, and that was the way Matthew liked it. "Get dressed, we have to go."
"Okay, where are we going?"
"I'll tell you later, okay?"
Cynthia nodded, and Matthew calmly left her to her room. He saw Emily and Sandra conversing in the living room, and walked up to them. Emily turned to him, a stressed look on her face. "I was just telling Sandra that she needed to go. I already paid her, too."
Sandra nodded and joined in on the conversing, as she always did. "Yeah, I'm headed to Ed and Diana's to watch Clem. They said they were leaving tonight, and I'm late. See ya later guys." Sandra said, and was about to bolt out the door, when Cynthia came out of her room. Sandra turned and smiled, ruffled Cynthia's hair, then walked towards the door. "Sandra, you sure you don't need any help? We don't want you or Clementine to get hurt." Matthew said, and Sandra solemnly looked at them. "It's fine. You guys need to leave town now. I can take care of Clementine, and even if I couldn't she's a smart girl. Just like Cee over there. Anyways, I've really got to go. I'll see you guys later." They waved goodbye to Sandra, then began to start packing things into their white Escape.
The trio drove off, Cynthia sitting behind Matthew, and Emily once again in the passenger seat. "Are we gonna be okay, Matt?" Emily said, and looked at Matthew with a true fear in her eyes. Matthew held back tears. She never called him Matt, unless she was in great fear. She did it on the roller coaster ride, she did it while she was having her surgery for her leg, she called him Matt when they were in financial debt. But this right here, was true fear. It tore him apart to know she was this scared, but he had to console her. "We'll be fine, I promise." Matthew said, speeding down the highway. His ears suddenly perked up at a loud truck honking, and his head spun to the side to see a large 18-wheeler speeding towards them. "No!" He cried out, as the 18-wheeler made contact, and glass exploded around them.
They were upside down. They were upside down. Matthew grabbed his head, then looked around the car, and realized they had crashed. He grabbed his seatbelt and unbuckled it, then looked over to the passenger's seat, to see Emily slumped up on the car's ceiling, her head tilted in an unnatural position and her entire body bloodied and cut. Matthew saw that her door was destroyed, and it had basically crushed her leg. She was unconscious, it seemed, and her seatbelt was torn apart. Matthew reached a hand at to her, an "Em" coming out. He fell out of the car, and saw a small figure walking towards him. It was Cynthia, holding her arm, soaked in blood and crying. "Daddy?" She asked, as Matthew crawled around to the other side of the car. He now saw the 18-wheeler, overturned on the side of the road, now on fire. Matthew was paying attention the bright fire lighting up the sky however, he was paying attention to the now destroyed car. He crawled over to his wive's seat, and saw that the car door easily opened up.
Matthew pulled Emily out, and held her blood caked head in his arms. He grabbed at her chest, checking for a heartbeat. Nothing. His eyes widened, as he searched desperately for another pulse. Her wrist. Her neck. Matthew began to cry, snot flying from his nose, and tears falling into Emily's blood soaked hair. "Em, no. Please don't die. Emily, please. Em. Noo. Pleaseee. Emily, don't die. Don't die."
"Mommy?" Cynthia now walked up, and saw her father cradling her dead mother's head. The two cried together into the night, sirens in the distance being the background song to their sorrow.
Oh Maaaaark:
http://www.telltalegames.com/community/discussion/74907/twdg-fanfic-growing-pains
Guess who updated? :P
Well, Marky boy, since you're back and all, I will eventually post the next part for Max's and Rayne's story. I dunno when I'll post it, but it'll be done, you can count on it.
By the by, we lost a couple of storytellers over on the other story thread (unfortunately), you'll see what I'm talking about if you haven't noticed already.
Cool can't wait maybe I'll be back to write more on your thread
This thread is up and running again for story's I was banned recently so couldn't review but it's back open again and I'll review what I missed shortly I can't wait for more storie's sorry for the delay
Maybe? Gee, thanks. :S
My grammar WTF :O but seriously can''t wait
You better be, or I'll hunt you down.
Fyi, I also wanted to say thank you for mentioning me in your comment on the 'how would you describe each forum member' thread. I know it took me forever to say it, so thank you again! I do appreciate stuff like that.
I will keep my promise and continue it.
THE WALKING DEAD: CITY OF FOOLS
CHAPTER 1
"I won't, back, down. Gonna stand, my, ground. You can stand me up, at the gates of Hell, but I won't, back, down."
The old man played his guitar drunkenly and shakily, but yet still people dropped little morsels of food in the bucket he had provided in front of the chair he sat in. He had a gray beard and gray hair that were both terribly greasy and stuck out in many places. The old man's name was Rick, and he lived in the community of Crawford. The community had been formed by Oberson Crawford a few months after the apocalypse, and it was quite a peaceful place. Well, Crawford himself was slightly troubled, but that was beside the point. The community was nice, it was friendly, and Matthew Andrews loved it. It was paradise. He sat clapping for the old man a little ways away, and threw him a small bottle of water. The old man tipped his hat, then began playing another song. Matthew was just about to start listening again, when he felt someone calling for him and steps directly behind his standing place.
"Matthew, what the hell are you doing."
It was Jon, coming up right behind him. Matthew turned, grinned, then turned back to Rick's singing. "I'm just listening to Rick singing. He's pretty good, actually." Jon sighed, and shook his head. "You know what I meant Matthew. What are you doing not doing prefect work?" He asked, and Matthew returned the sigh. "Because lot's of trouble happens in Crawford, right? I'm just entertaining myself. Doing the same thing over and over again will drive you insane." Jon joined Matthew in his watching of the old man singing, when the woman beside them pulled out a cigarette. "Come on Neri, we don't need smoke coughing up our lungs now." Jon said, his eyes squinting at the beautiful woman beside him simply smiled. "You wanna light it?" She asked, and Jon shook his head. "I'm not helping you kill yourself."
Neri's bottom lip stuck out, and thus she looked to Matthew. "What about you?" Matthew rolled his eyes, but complied with her wishes. "Sure." He said, as she handed him her liter. Matthew reached over and lot the cigarette in her mouth, then handed her the liter. "Thanks." She replied, with the cigarette still in her mouth. "Why'd you let her do that?" Jon asked, shaking his head. "There are walking corpses eating people in this world. Cancer is the least of her problems." As the three stood in a small crowd around the old man, and the light from the cigarette illuminated their bodies, Matthew couldn't help but feel a strange senses inside of him. He felt normal. Like he wasn't in the apocalypse, like his wife hadn't died six months ago. Smoke filled the air, and Jon was thrown in a fit of coughing. "That's it, I'm leaving." He said, and started walking off. Neri smiled, and followed after him. "What, does the smoke have cooties?"
As Matthew watched the college kid with the glasses and the waitress with the silky black hair walk off, he couldn't help but frown. It was weird feeling normal, it was weird feeling like things were the way they used to be. Because no matter what, they weren't. Maybe someday they would be the same, but right now they weren't. It wasn't the same, even if people tried to pretend it was. Matthew gave out a deep sigh, then peered at his watch. Crawford had thousands of the things in storage, and gave them out to every resident in the community. It was 10:00, the end of his shift. Matthew left the crowd, and headed straight for his small dorm.
"Dad!" Cynthia yelped in surprise, smiled, and hugged her dad. Matthew smiled, then crouched down to get on her level. "Hey, Cee. You ready to head to bed?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Has Aylaela come by today?"
"No, not today."
Matthew sighed, and then grinned as he looked at his daughter. Aylaela was an 18-year old girl who had shown quite the interest in Cynthia. She was a farmer's girl who always wore this tacky t-shirt with the words "I like big books and I cannot lie." She was still the nicest girl he had ever met, and she helped out around the community a lot. Matthew walked with Cynthia to her bed, let her get changed, said goodnight, then headed on to the living room. He took his pistol out from his holster, laid it down on the table beside him, then crashed onto the couch. He simply layed there, looking at the ceiling, just thinking. His senses kept detecting stomping throughout the hotel they stayed in, but he ignored it as Logan, the old, pudgy man at the counter, yelling at some customers. He was a sweet guy, but if you made him mad, you made him MAD. Matthew smiled at the thoughts of Logan, the fat old man, getting angry. His face all puffy and red, and him attempting to run after some laughing teenagers. He was awokened from his thoughts at a knock on the door.
Matthew drowsily got up, grabbed his pistol, then headed for the door. He looked through the peephole and saw Sam on the other side. Sam was a pretty boy, with this blonde crew cut and he wore a plain gray t-shirt, which Matthew assumed was to show his muscles off to Aylaela. It was obvious the two did like each other, but when asked about it the suggestion was shot down completely. Matthew unlocked the door, then pulled it open. "Yeah, what is it?"
"It's Freddy. He, uh, tried to kill another girl."
"Who?"
"Melissa."
Matthew cringed at the name. Melissa. Sweet, caring Melissa had almost been raped and killed by that stupid redneck Freddy. The brown-haired woman had already gone through so much, and now that serial killer with a second chance had almost gotten her. Matthew nodded solemnly, rubbed his eyes, then finally spoke again. "I'll be there in a second. Let me get dressed." The door shut, and Matthew walked over to where he had thrown his jeans off. He put them on then zipped them up, and headed for the door. He saw Sam still patiently waiting for him, then walked out, making sure to lock the hotel room door behind him.
"He's in there." Harry stated, the former mobster propped up against the wall beside the door, with an assault rifle on hand. Matthew nodded, and looked above the door to see some scrawled writing that was sloppily written by one of the prisoners. "The Cell." Sam said, then thus scratched the back of his head. The Cell was no more than a school bathroom, with the stalls and the toilets taken out. It was a shame they kept their prisoners right next to Crawford's main office inside the high school. Matthew could hear repeated smacking and yelling in the room, and grabbed the doorknob, and pushed it open. There was Freddy, his face bloodied, dripping into his bald head and his white, sweaty muscle shirt. Terrence, a man in a camouflage military uniform and a black beard and long black mullet, stood beating Freddy to a pulp. "You motherfucker! She was my fucking sister!" He yelled as he punched him, his knuckles bloody and bruised. "Terrence, that's enough!" Matthew called out, and Terrence turned around to face him. "You don't fucking understand! He fucking tried to kill my sister!"
"I understand that. But there's no use in beating his face to shit."
Terrence frowned, but nodded and walked over to a corner of The Cell. He grumbled something unintelligible, but he accepted Matthew's rank above him. Sam pulled a chair out, then put his back into another corner. Matthew sat in the chair, facing Freddy. He noticed his blood wrists and the handcuffs around them and around the chair. It was obvious he had already tried to escape. "Freddy." Matthew said, his eyes squinting.
Freddy sat still for a few moments, in a vegetative state of shock. After a few minutes, he seemed to regain his sense and look at Matthew. He grinned, and his bloody mouth and missing teeth shone out. "Why am I in trouble? All I did was have consent with a beaut-I-ful girl." He sounded out every syllable in the word, his country accent showing. Terrence shuffled and moved towards Freddy, but Matthew swung his hand out in front of him. "Hold on, Terrence." Terrence reluctantly backed into the corner again, and Matthew continued the conversation. "Freddy Aaron, you are under arrest for attempted rape and attempted murder. You do NOT have the right to be silent." He said, and then shivered as Freddy licked his lips and smiled. "Oh, mister, it wasn't an attempt. It was full on sex. I fucked her so hard it looked like her brains were gonna pop out. It was fucking GREEate." As he said that last word, he made sure to look at Terrence, who was getting even more being by the minute. "I was gonna cut her a new hole to fuck, but she ran before I could do anything. Now, I'm here."
Matthew closed his eyes in disgust, then sat up. "Have at him." He said, and Terrence smiled slyly. Freddy started pleading, but his cries were muffled by Terrence knocking him over and proceeding to punch him over and over. Sam followed Matthew out the door, walked past Harry, and watched as Matthew walked to the hotel.
What did they just do?
sry for the delay I been so busy lately
Review
I had the highest possible expectations for this chapter that ended up being surpassed easily and perfectly just amazing I really felt out of my depth reviewing this your like a professional writer and million times better then I'll ever be I'm just in awe genius and quality it will take all night to review it but I'll keep it short and sweet as the story speaks for itself
The grammar and spacing perfect never got lost in a mess of words or spotted any mistakes
The characters behave exactly like TWD game exactly as I imagined so I felt that made me connect more
The level of detail in you go into in each scene is unbelieveable the way you go through what's happening, what each characters thinking at that moment and what the place looks like. I could clearly see Clem motives and line of thoughts to come to any conclusion making me as a reader experience the scene the same as Clem constantly refelecting and thinking about how to outwit and beat any challenge then seeing if she can pull it off was really edge of my seat stuff.
You showed the weak side of Clem losing most battles or challenges making her little girl persona believeable and ultimately as a reader made me really connect. The tension and excitement really builds up every challenge she faced as I generally didn't know if she would survive or beat it as a writer just genius really humanizes the character and adds great depth to the character.
Character references and flashbacks were just awesome seeing her experiences that molded her and the characters we know and love guide and affect her decisions indirectly in the story in the future just awesome.
So gruesome sucides, killing multiple zombies and blood everywhere etc you really were not afraid to show the dark side of the ZA making the story believeable and unpredictable as a reader you know you not afraid to do anything so expect the unexpected it was so exciting I was hooked to every line.
Pschology and Morals; Seeing Clem struggle with every decision comtemplating the difference between right and wrong in a split second decision was just incredible. This story had so much care in helping the reader completely understand Clem mind and what morals she lives by and how she inforces them was just incredible. The little things like failing to shoot or getting her hat back how essential the little things were to keep her sain and her hope highs up just genius.
Comedy between Luke and Clem the moments between the chaos and pain really warmed my heart and served as perfect and believeable team bonding journey story. I always smiled after Clem survived another attack or incident and just to see her laugh to Lukes bad jokes or enjoying some mini games was a nice break from the intense moment and made me love Lukes character.
I hated Luke now I like Luke I seen him as a cheesy and clique in the game before reading this now I want him to be on Clem's team forever what a hero and a legend he would gladly risk his life just for clem to live another day just beautiful seeing all the sacrifice he went though for my little Clem.
I liked the way this story matched my decisions like making Clem take a breath before she shoots or only kill walkers speech many feels.
Felt more like watching a movie then reading a book it was so well written whether was action or Clem and lukes chitchats I could always picture then perfectly and was alway excited to see the next line.
This story had everything violence, comedy, action
Overall
This is the best fanfic I have ever read I'd even go as far to say if telltale sold your story as a season of TWD I would pay full price and would be delighted with my purchase I wished you wrote season 2 you have a lot more talented then their writers and be a much better story it's been an absolute honor reading this.
Rating
The only story which achieved a perfect score on this thread and fully deserved 10
I plan on finishing this review tomorrow theres a few scenes I want to go through I wrote down few buzz words together to remind me of each scene I want to talk about as I was reading to remind me I'll go through them tommorrow below.
family
Lukes/failure/success gun training. House teaching her to shoot took a breath
dogfood
Monsters were the same
deception and davis and martha JOEDECISION
A kids unpredictable
Killing is bad no matter what
Sarah immaturity ended up helping clem with a hug
Luke and Clem finding blood VAMPIRE weak carrying
Luke blood drip
They won't need to be a team in wellington hide poker
silent film walkers ice
Bubbles laughter luke
nightmare parents under the ice and water turn into blood her crying and begging come back
Bad luck attacked and arrows
Battle for the hat dad
Love you pumpkin parents gone
treehouse
ending
Just saying I'm Reading this now then I'll review it and edit this comment so for the delay