Kidding, I got a new computer.. Sorry about the wait. So.. What do yall actually want me to change, I know about swapping Clem with Ruby, and making it more detailed, but anything else really...?
I purposely made you guys wait for me.
Kidding, I got a new computer.. Sorry about the wait. So.. What do yall actually want me to change, I know about swapping Clem with Ruby, and making it more detailed, but anything else really...?
I purposely made you guys wait for me.
Kidding, I got a new computer.. Sorry about the wait. So.. What do yall actually want me to change, I know about swapping Clem with Ruby, and making it more detailed, but anything else really...?
I purposely made you guys wait for me.
Kidding, I got a new computer.. Sorry about the wait. So.. What do yall actually want me to change, I know about swapping Clem with Ruby, and making it more detailed, but anything else really...?
I usually only have much time on weekends (like most people probably) to follow / write our story and now my sunday's almost over. Really hoping we'll never have to wait that much ever again. That's really not cool. It'd be great to see at least one weekend post before going to bed.
"Ruby?" Clem says as she's approaching her what looks to be lifeless body, Clem gets on her knees and starts shaking Ruby. "Ruby?! Answer me!" Clem yells worrying. Suddenly, Ruby breathes and slowly opens her eyes. "Ruby? Are you okay?" "Owww... My arm is killing me." Ruby softly says, Clem sighs out of relief. "Thanks for saving me back there, thought I was a goner." Ruby says as she slowly sits up, trying to cover the bullet wound with her hand. "Well I'm Clementine, the girl you've been talking to on the Walkie. I ummm... I should get you inside my cave." "A cave?" Ruby asks. "Yeah it's over there." Clem then points at the entrance. Ruby struggles to stand up, but Clem helps her onto her feet, and they slowly but surely walk to the cave. "God this hurts." Ruby says as tears form, the pain was unimaginable, she tries her hardest not to fall over. "You can... Lean on me if you have too." Clem says. "It's okay... It's okay." Ruby replies.
4 HOURS LATER
Clem yawns, they had been in the cave for hours. Ruby was dead asleep, Clem is standing guard outside the cave. It was a very foggy night, very quiet, not a sound was made. It almost felt peaceful. At least there's no stupid Walkers. She couldn't see far into the fog, but something didn't feel right, Then...
Clem saw a figure, carrying a body through the woods dragging it by the foot. "Oh my God..." Clem whispers. The figure had long hair, and a decent sized beard. He looked skinny, but appeared strong as he was dragging a body. It was horrifying... The figure also had a shovel holstered on his back, as if he was gonna bury the body. Clem was shaking in fear, it was the scariest thing she's seen in a while, but luckily he disappeared into the fog. But to be sure, she slowly walks deeper into the foggy woods, making sure he was gone.
"Okay I think he's gone." Clem whispers, slowly looking over her shoulders. She heads back to the cave, only to see a Walker stepping in the cave. "Oh crap! Ruby!" Clem shouts sprinting to the entrance, pushing the Walker out of the way. "Ruby wake up!" Clem shouts, Ruby didn't move. Clem then grabs her knife and takes on the Walker itself as it's entering the cave. "Alright come on you big piece of... Crap!" Clem stabs the Walker in the leg making it collapse, then jumps on top of it and stabs it in the head 4 times.
"Ruby?" Clem says as she's approaching her what looks to be lifeless body, Clem gets on her knees and starts shaking Ruby. "Ruby?! Answer me… more!" Clem yells worrying. Suddenly, Ruby breathes and slowly opens her eyes. "Ruby? Are you okay?" "Owww... My arm is killing me." Ruby softly says, Clem sighs out of relief. "Thanks for saving me back there, thought I was a goner." Ruby says as she slowly sits up, trying to cover the bullet wound with her hand. "Well I'm Clementine, the girl you've been talking to on the Walkie. I ummm... I should get you inside my cave." "A cave?" Ruby asks. "Yeah it's over there." Clem then points at the entrance. Ruby struggles to stand up, but Clem helps her onto her feet, and they slowly but surely walk to the cave. "God this hurts." Ruby says as tears form, the pain was unimaginable, she tries her hardest not to fall over. "You can... Lean on me if you have too." Clem says. "It's okay... It's okay." Ruby replies.
… [view original content]
Imo It's better narration to not keep the tension high all the time (like we did in this ep. so far with all the walkers, bandits, injuries and so on) or else it's getting boring pretty soon. Don't waste action scenes - use them to support character development, instead.
"Ruby?" Clem says as she's approaching her what looks to be lifeless body, Clem gets on her knees and starts shaking Ruby. "Ruby?! Answer me… more!" Clem yells worrying. Suddenly, Ruby breathes and slowly opens her eyes. "Ruby? Are you okay?" "Owww... My arm is killing me." Ruby softly says, Clem sighs out of relief. "Thanks for saving me back there, thought I was a goner." Ruby says as she slowly sits up, trying to cover the bullet wound with her hand. "Well I'm Clementine, the girl you've been talking to on the Walkie. I ummm... I should get you inside my cave." "A cave?" Ruby asks. "Yeah it's over there." Clem then points at the entrance. Ruby struggles to stand up, but Clem helps her onto her feet, and they slowly but surely walk to the cave. "God this hurts." Ruby says as tears form, the pain was unimaginable, she tries her hardest not to fall over. "You can... Lean on me if you have too." Clem says. "It's okay... It's okay." Ruby replies.
… [view original content]
The cigarette ash falls off onto her knee as she is peeking through the vizor with her only eye left, trying to aim at the silhouettes approaching. Last time she smoked was in high school, a bad habit she got rid off when she got to college in order to make her doctor of medicine. The picture of a smoker's lung was so traumatic that she quit smoking the very same day. She doesn't care about smoker's lungs, cholesterol or any other vanities anymore - now that the dead are rising and Robert is gone, none of that matters, anymore.
Shots are falling two times in a row and the bodies go down immediately. One of the two men left bends over the killees while the other one runs away. The sniper is following the escapee and kills him with a headshot. "One left.", she says to herself taking a deep smoke and looking for the other one. The last man who is wearing army gear doesn't move anymore, laying on the ground with his face buried in the grass. "You're not foolin' me, sweetheart ...". A last gunfire is echoeing through the settlement, her settlement. "Damn raiders ...".
"I've heard gunshots, Liz ... hope it was you.". Elizabeth turns around and sees a familiar face popping up the edge of the building. Selma takes the ladder up with her so noone can climb it. Elizabeth puts the rifle aside, stroking off the thick layer of sweat of her forehead, before she drops the cigarette. "Selma ... I see your empty handed ... fuck.". "You say it, Liz. So?". "So, what?". "What were you shootin' at?", asks Selma with her hispanic accent, as she is following Elizabeth to the barricade they've managed to build on their hideout, the tallest building in the whole settlement.
Liz hands her the binoculars: "They came from the south gate. You'll find the bodies next to the dining building.". Selma raises herself on tiptoes, as she's very short when she eventually decides to peek through another hole in the brick wall barricade. "I see 'em. Looking like Kirkmin's pack of fuckheads. Shouldn't they be all dead by now?". "They will, soon, there are only very few left - I can smell it. You got very lucky, Selma. They were all heading straight to the warehouse, knowing very well the location of both the gun room and medical supply room. Any success gettin' in there?". Selma sighs, putting down the binoculars and kneading her nape which is aching from the physical effort, as she speaks: "You don't want to hear that, Liz, but I'm tellin' you: It's hopeless. No chance without the keys, especially not the gun room since our lovely Sarah burgled it.. We barricaded it all too well...". Elizabeth's face gets more serious and Selma is feeling uncomfortable looking at her friend, who used to be the funniest person she ever knew and now looks like the most bitter woman in the world with her scornful look and the eyepatch. Eventually, Liz takes another smoke as she finally speaks: "We'll keep trying - until then we are going to guard this place and kill every single motherfucker who dares to take what is ours."
Clem got rid of the heavy walker body. She tossed it into the bushes and walked past a puddle on her way back to the cave. Her mirror image frightens her: Walker mud all over her, scratches and dark circles around her eyes - a testimonial of what she's been going through in the last days, weeks, months.
Clementine puts down her knife and starts to wash her face - her new company doesn't have to know, what happened. Very ashamed that she almost got her friend killed Clementine checks on her clothes and eventually decides it's time to get dressed in something new and fresh: the hoodie she got from "Honey". She steps into the cave, this time closing the entrance with the heavy wooden board which has been serving as the door.
Ruby is still sleeping. When Clem takes off her red hoodie a couple of things are falling out the large pockets: the wooden duck, she found in Kenny's pocket, the letter from Karim to "Honey", hair bands, an ammo box she got from Bryan's armor box and a couple of labeled keys. Clem is wondering where she got them from. The labels say "Medical supply room", "Gun room", "Jail" and "Storage room". Bad memories come up, haunting her. Unwilling to face them Clem throws the keys against the wall angrily. The shrill noise of the keys clattering on the guitar case awake Ruby. Clem is happy to see her among the living: "Ruby ... oh I am so glad you're conscious".
Note: I was thinking a lot whether to make this post or not since we discussed we focus on Clem and Ruby. Though, I've read our first fan season once again and realized that Clem still has the vital keys, the keys she and Jeremy found in John's office. Then I was so afraid that we might forget about them, so I couldn't help it and came up with Liz and Selma. They are no new characters and we don't need to focus on this side story. I just wanted to make aware that the keys are still among us.
The cigarette ash falls off onto her knee as she is peeking through the vizor with her only eye left, trying to aim at the silhouettes appro… moreaching. Last time she smoked was in high school, a bad habit she got rid off when she got to college in order to make her doctor of medicine. The picture of a smoker's lung was so traumatic that she quit smoking the very same day. She doesn't care about smoker's lungs, cholesterol or any other vanities anymore - now that the dead are rising and Robert is gone, none of that matters, anymore.
Shots are falling two times in a row and the bodies go down immediately. One of the two men left bends over the killees while the other one runs away. The sniper is following the escapee and kills him with a headshot. "One left.", she says to herself taking a deep smoke and looking for the other one. The last man who is wearing army gear doesn't move anymore, laying on the ground with his face buried in the grass. "Y… [view original content]
A groan of pain echoes through the cave when Ruby fails horribly in her attempts to sit up straight. Clementine worriedly rushes over to her companion and pulls her up against the wall. "You should take it easy." she says while checking the filthy wound embedded into Ruby's shoulder. "That looks nasty..." The woman lets out another painful groan before grabbing her shoulder and squeezes it desperately. "I'll be okay. It could have been worse." Filled with skepticism and disbelief, Clementine puts her hands to her side and lets out a taunting puff. "The pool of blood you were laying in when I found you begs to differ." Ruby's lips stay sealed, leaving a cold silence hanging in the air. Clementine watches as the last pieces of wood left in the campfire burn up, leaving nothing but ash. She grabs a fresh log from the dwindling pile Bryan had left in his cave and throws it onto the burning ashes, causing a cloud of smoke and dust to fly into her face. Coughing loudly, the little girl throws on a handful of tinder and smaller sticks, before lighting them with the lighter Kenny had given her just a week ago. "Now we've got a fire." Clementine smirks contently before sitting down next to Ruby and reaching for her bottle of water.
(Please listen to this: )
"Do you want some?"
Ruby happily accepts her offer and takes a large sip of the clear liquid. "Ah..." Her cheeks become red as she wipes some water from her smiling lips. "I'm so glad to be here with you. You know, you looked a lot different in my imagination." Clementine giggles awkwardly at the woman's strange remark. "I don't care about your looks. I'm just happy not to be alone anymore." Ruby stares at the crackling fire in front of her before finally opening her mouth again. This time her tone is serious. "I was just wondering, how did a little girl like you survive on her own for so long?" The question immediately puts a grim expression on Clementine's face. It's the same question she had asked herself when Lee died and she had to fend for her own. It's the same question she had asked herself when Omid and Christa had died, and she was left alone with Kenny, Charlie and a group she had barely got to know. It's the same question she had been asking herself when Kenny died and all she had left was herself, until Ruby showed up.
"Survive?" She spits out the word like it leaves a bad taste in her mouth. "That little girl didn't survive. She died the day she saw her dead parents walking on the street. That girl died when she saw some of her best friends getting devoured by flesh-eating monsters. That girl died when she had to shoot the only man who had protected her through all of the shit this horrible world had thrown at her!" Moving back into reality, Clementine realizes she had stood up and and had been staring into Ruby's eyes, screaming into her terrified face. She takes a step back when a tear runs down each of her cheeks, followed by a flow of all the tears she had been holding back for so long.
A groan of pain echoes through the cave when Ruby fails horribly in her attempts to sit up straight. Clementine worriedly rushes over to her… more companion and pulls her up against the wall. "You should take it easy." she says while checking the filthy wound embedded into Ruby's shoulder. "That looks nasty..." The woman lets out another painful groan before grabbing her shoulder and squeezes it desperately. "I'll be okay. It could have been worse." Filled with skepticism and disbelief, Clementine puts her hands to her side and lets out a taunting puff. "The pool of blood you were laying in when I found you begs to differ." Ruby's lips stay sealed, leaving a cold silence hanging in the air. Clementine watches as the last pieces of wood left in the campfire burn up, leaving nothing but ash. She grabs a fresh log from the dwindling pile Bryan had left in his cave and throws it onto the burning ashes, causing a cloud of smoke and dust to fly into her … [view original content]
Ruby didn't know what to say next, everything became so awkward. Clem leans down to sit next to her. "I... I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just so pissed. I've been through to much Shit, I've lost a lot of people I cared about. There was this man, Lee, he saved me the first days. But... I got him killed. I was too trusting, and Lee died because of that. It was the same day I died too." Ruby felt so bad, she wanted to cry but held back her tears. "After all that, everyone else I met and knew died. It's just me now. I think I should keep it that way too. You should just leave before I get you killed too." Clem said, staring into the fire. She was done with it all, she was tired of meeting people only for them to be killed off later.
"... I'm not gonna leave you." "I can take care of myself. I just, don't wanna hurt anyone anymore..." "It's okay. I'll probably get myself killed first, hence the bullet wound. I'm REALLY clumsy, it's not even funny. I trip over things more then the average person." Clem giggles, But was interrupted by some noise out in the woods. Don't tell me it's that crazy guy again. Clem thinks. "What was that? Ruby silently asked. "I don't know, sounds like a car." Ruby reaches over to her holster and quickly pulls her pistol out. There was also Gunfire heard. "Are those assault rifle shots?" Ruby asks herself. "Clem, get your weapon ready." The sound of the vehicle quickly fades away, it was strange. "...I'll go check, see if he's gone." Clem says. "What? It's still foggy out. He's not coming back." "We don't know that. I'm just gonna look around the area, I won't be far." Clem says as she grabs her backpack. "... Alright I guess." Ruby says. Clem then slowly walks out the cave, having her weapon ready. She walks a few feet looking around every corner. She slowly goes deeper into the fog.
It's been a few minutes, Clem should have been back by now if she was just checking the area. "Where is she?" Ruby whispers to herself. Ruby then stands up, grabbing her pistol and peaking her head out the cave. "Clementine? You there?" She loudly whispers. Ruby walks to her bag, her arm is still aching but she'll suck it up. She grabs her things and walks out the cave, aiming her pistol. She does find small footprints. "Okay, that has to be Clem's." She whispers.
After walking a few minutes to what felt like forever, Ruby makes it out of the woods and ends up on a Road. Both ways leading to nowhere. Ruby then sets her things down, and digs around in her bag. "Could have sworn I had a map." She says scratching her cheek. Ruby saw through the corner of her eye 6 dead Walkers on the road, she approaches the bodies with her pistol ready. "The blood's fresh." She says to herself "All shot in the head... Bullet holes in their bodies as well. Was this the Assault Rifle's maybe?" She then sees tire marks a few feet away, with a Shovel right next to them. "Hmm... The vehicle probably went that way. Note to self, don't go that way." Ruby says to herself. She then stands up, and gets a sharp pain in her wound. "Fuckin' bullet owww." Ruby had lost Clem, the footprints ended at the road, nothing left to track.
Question: Why did you want Clem and Ruby out of the cave? I liked your other post very much, this one didn't appeal to me, though. Clem's flight was kinda drama queenish and sudden and they didn't really get the chance to get to know each other. Besides, the post indicates that the man with the shovel took her (which reminds me of the stranger taking Clem). Just don't think it's the right time for that kinda twist in the early state of Episode 1, raising the suspense so fast. Just my personal opinion. Good writing, though!
Edit: I assume you're intending to introduce your personal character (the shovel man) pretty soon, which is understandable. Though, I wish you had given Clem and Rubes much more time to develop a bond. I don't think Clem would leave her safe shelter just like that.
Ruby didn't know what to say next, everything became so awkward. Clem leans down to sit next to her. "I... I don't know what's wrong with me… more. I'm just so pissed. I've been through to much Shit, I've lost a lot of people I cared about. There was this man, Lee, he saved me the first days. But... I got him killed. I was too trusting, and Lee died because of that. It was the same day I died too." Ruby felt so bad, she wanted to cry but held back her tears. "After all that, everyone else I met and knew died. It's just me now. I think I should keep it that way too. You should just leave before I get you killed too." Clem said, staring into the fire. She was done with it all, she was tired of meeting people only for them to be killed off later.
"... I'm not gonna leave you." "I can take care of myself. I just, don't wanna hurt anyone anymore..." "It's okay. I'll probably get myself killed first, hence the bullet wound. I'm REALLY clumsy, it's not… [view original content]
I just wanted them out just so they could talk in a different location. Yes her storming out was kinda forced but I don't know, like I said I did slack on the post. And no, the unknown man didn't kidnap Clem. I just through that in there as a reference.
Question: Why did you want Clem and Ruby out of the cave? I liked your other post very much, this one didn't appeal to me, though. Clem's fl… moreight was kinda drama queenish and sudden and they didn't really get the chance to get to know each other. Besides, the post indicates that the man with the shovel took her (which reminds me of the stranger taking Clem). Just don't think it's the right time for that kinda twist in the early state of Episode 1, raising the suspense so fast. Just my personal opinion. Good writing, though!
Edit: I assume you're intending to introduce your personal character (the shovel man) pretty soon, which is understandable. Though, I wish you had given Clem and Rubes much more time to develop a bond. I don't think Clem would leave her safe shelter just like that.
I just wanted them out just so they could talk in a different location. Yes her storming out was kinda forced but I don't know, like I said … moreI did slack on the post. And no, the unknown man didn't kidnap Clem. I just through that in there as a reference.
Ruby didn't know what to say next, everything became so awkward. Clem leans down to sit next to her. "I... I don't know what's wrong with me… more. I'm just so pissed. I've been through to much Shit, I've lost a lot of people I cared about. There was this man, Lee, he saved me the first days. But... I got him killed. I was too trusting, and Lee died because of that. It was the same day I died too." Ruby felt so bad, she wanted to cry but held back her tears. "After all that, everyone else I met and knew died. It's just me now. I think I should keep it that way too. You should just leave before I get you killed too." Clem said, staring into the fire. She was done with it all, she was tired of meeting people only for them to be killed off later.
"... I'm not gonna leave you." "I can take care of myself. I just, don't wanna hurt anyone anymore..." "It's okay. I'll probably get myself killed first, hence the bullet wound. I'm REALLY clumsy, it's not… [view original content]
So the footprints were shovel mans? And is it okay if I write? I snow snufkin and HSP haven't posted in a while and That_1_Guy has an idea for something so I'm not really sure.
Note: That_1_Guy I saw someone named That1Guy. Is that you or?....
Ruby didn't know what to say next, everything became so awkward. Clem leans down to sit next to her. "I... I don't know what's wrong with me… more. I'm just so pissed. I've been through to much Shit, I've lost a lot of people I cared about. There was this man, Lee, he saved me the first days. But... I got him killed. I was too trusting, and Lee died because of that. It was the same day I died too." Ruby felt so bad, she wanted to cry but held back her tears. "After all that, everyone else I met and knew died. It's just me now. I think I should keep it that way too. You should just leave before I get you killed too." Clem said, staring into the fire. She was done with it all, she was tired of meeting people only for them to be killed off later.
"... I'm not gonna leave you." "I can take care of myself. I just, don't wanna hurt anyone anymore..." "It's okay. I'll probably get myself killed first, hence the bullet wound. I'm REALLY clumsy, it's not… [view original content]
To TheMissus: it was actually smart to leave the cave I just thought. There's Walkers all in the woods and the Walker Clem killed in my first post pretty much confirms that.
So the footprints were shovel mans? And is it okay if I write? I snow snufkin and HSP haven't posted in a while and That_1_Guy has an idea for something so I'm not really sure.
Note: That_1_Guy I saw someone named That1Guy. Is that you or?....
So the footprints were shovel mans? And is it okay if I write? I snow snufkin and HSP haven't posted in a while and That_1_Guy has an idea for something so I'm not really sure.
Note: That_1_Guy I saw someone named That1Guy. Is that you or?....
Depends on how you see it. She left the cave without the precious armory of Bryan's. She left her personal Gallery behind, either. Besides the episode title is "Fortress of solitude" and I wish the cave had played a more important role. My personal opinion of course.
No it was Clem's footprints.
To TheMissus: it was actually smart to leave the cave I just thought. There's Walkers all in the woods and the Walker Clem killed in my first post pretty much confirms that.
I'm just going to be honest: I don't like this post.
The whole Clem being a drama queen and running off makes zero sense and leaving the safety and warmth of the cave together with a wounded woman behind in the middle of the night with heavy fog and even forgetting her bag doesn't seem like ANYTHING a young smart girl like Clementine would ever do, even in an emotional moment.
I say you should either take the time to change the post you even said yourself, slacks, or you should simply delete if you don't feel like taking the time to write a post with care and attention.
Also, don't take this as me trying to hurt you in any way, I'm just pointing out the mistakes in your post so you can improve upon them and maybe even learn something in the process.
Ruby didn't know what to say next, everything became so awkward. Clem leans down to sit next to her. "I... I don't know what's wrong with me… more. I'm just so pissed. I've been through to much Shit, I've lost a lot of people I cared about. There was this man, Lee, he saved me the first days. But... I got him killed. I was too trusting, and Lee died because of that. It was the same day I died too." Ruby felt so bad, she wanted to cry but held back her tears. "After all that, everyone else I met and knew died. It's just me now. I think I should keep it that way too. You should just leave before I get you killed too." Clem said, staring into the fire. She was done with it all, she was tired of meeting people only for them to be killed off later.
"... I'm not gonna leave you." "I can take care of myself. I just, don't wanna hurt anyone anymore..." "It's okay. I'll probably get myself killed first, hence the bullet wound. I'm REALLY clumsy, it's not… [view original content]
Comments
Exactamundo.
I purposely made you guys wait for me.
Kidding, I got a new computer.. Sorry about the wait. So.. What do yall actually want me to change, I know about swapping Clem with Ruby, and making it more detailed, but anything else really...?
Yuuup. That's about it. Just the switcharoo and the introduction.
That's it, it would make more sense.
Imo opinion your post was too short, as I already stated above
Actually... I just realized why I made it so short... I'm not so good at introducing new characters like that.
So... Just dismiss my post please, and continue writing, sorry for taking up your time.
Well, I could write now I guess. Hope you guys don't mind waiting a few hours though.
Looking forward to it.
I usually only have much time on weekends (like most people probably) to follow / write our story and now my sunday's almost over. Really hoping we'll never have to wait that much ever again. That's really not cool. It'd be great to see at least one weekend post before going to bed.
"Ruby?" Clem says as she's approaching her what looks to be lifeless body, Clem gets on her knees and starts shaking Ruby. "Ruby?! Answer me!" Clem yells worrying. Suddenly, Ruby breathes and slowly opens her eyes. "Ruby? Are you okay?" "Owww... My arm is killing me." Ruby softly says, Clem sighs out of relief. "Thanks for saving me back there, thought I was a goner." Ruby says as she slowly sits up, trying to cover the bullet wound with her hand. "Well I'm Clementine, the girl you've been talking to on the Walkie. I ummm... I should get you inside my cave." "A cave?" Ruby asks. "Yeah it's over there." Clem then points at the entrance. Ruby struggles to stand up, but Clem helps her onto her feet, and they slowly but surely walk to the cave. "God this hurts." Ruby says as tears form, the pain was unimaginable, she tries her hardest not to fall over. "You can... Lean on me if you have too." Clem says. "It's okay... It's okay." Ruby replies.
4 HOURS LATER
Clem yawns, they had been in the cave for hours. Ruby was dead asleep, Clem is standing guard outside the cave. It was a very foggy night, very quiet, not a sound was made. It almost felt peaceful. At least there's no stupid Walkers. She couldn't see far into the fog, but something didn't feel right, Then...
Clem saw a figure, carrying a body through the woods dragging it by the foot. "Oh my God..." Clem whispers. The figure had long hair, and a decent sized beard. He looked skinny, but appeared strong as he was dragging a body. It was horrifying... The figure also had a shovel holstered on his back, as if he was gonna bury the body. Clem was shaking in fear, it was the scariest thing she's seen in a while, but luckily he disappeared into the fog. But to be sure, she slowly walks deeper into the foggy woods, making sure he was gone.
"Okay I think he's gone." Clem whispers, slowly looking over her shoulders. She heads back to the cave, only to see a Walker stepping in the cave. "Oh crap! Ruby!" Clem shouts sprinting to the entrance, pushing the Walker out of the way. "Ruby wake up!" Clem shouts, Ruby didn't move. Clem then grabs her knife and takes on the Walker itself as it's entering the cave. "Alright come on you big piece of... Crap!" Clem stabs the Walker in the leg making it collapse, then jumps on top of it and stabs it in the head 4 times.
What do you guys think?
Awesome! I liked it. But I'm wondering who the mysterious guy dragging the body is.
He'll definitely be seen again.
Ah. You said you wanted to introduce a new character. We said not now so he was kind of in the background. Good call
. Can't wait to meet him later.
I've got a few ideas for him as well... Good job kind of introducing this character like that!
That was cheatin'! :-O Anyway, good post!
One note to all of us:
Imo It's better narration to not keep the tension high all the time (like we did in this ep. so far with all the walkers, bandits, injuries and so on) or else it's getting boring pretty soon. Don't waste action scenes - use them to support character development, instead.
@Randomz89101 One request: Would you please remove your other post to keep the thread tidy? That'd be great.
I am going to write soon. If you want to write first I don't mind, just say it.
eh, you can go first.
I don't really have a good idea yet.
Alrighty, I think I have
I just got back from school, too tired to write. You go ahead.
I am waiting for my food delivery right now, going to write right after dinner.
The cigarette ash falls off onto her knee as she is peeking through the vizor with her only eye left, trying to aim at the silhouettes approaching. Last time she smoked was in high school, a bad habit she got rid off when she got to college in order to make her doctor of medicine. The picture of a smoker's lung was so traumatic that she quit smoking the very same day. She doesn't care about smoker's lungs, cholesterol or any other vanities anymore - now that the dead are rising and Robert is gone, none of that matters, anymore.
Shots are falling two times in a row and the bodies go down immediately. One of the two men left bends over the killees while the other one runs away. The sniper is following the escapee and kills him with a headshot. "One left.", she says to herself taking a deep smoke and looking for the other one. The last man who is wearing army gear doesn't move anymore, laying on the ground with his face buried in the grass. "You're not foolin' me, sweetheart ...". A last gunfire is echoeing through the settlement, her settlement. "Damn raiders ...".
"I've heard gunshots, Liz ... hope it was you.". Elizabeth turns around and sees a familiar face popping up the edge of the building. Selma takes the ladder up with her so noone can climb it. Elizabeth puts the rifle aside, stroking off the thick layer of sweat of her forehead, before she drops the cigarette. "Selma ... I see your empty handed ... fuck.". "You say it, Liz. So?". "So, what?". "What were you shootin' at?", asks Selma with her hispanic accent, as she is following Elizabeth to the barricade they've managed to build on their hideout, the tallest building in the whole settlement.
Liz hands her the binoculars: "They came from the south gate. You'll find the bodies next to the dining building.". Selma raises herself on tiptoes, as she's very short when she eventually decides to peek through another hole in the brick wall barricade. "I see 'em. Looking like Kirkmin's pack of fuckheads. Shouldn't they be all dead by now?". "They will, soon, there are only very few left - I can smell it. You got very lucky, Selma. They were all heading straight to the warehouse, knowing very well the location of both the gun room and medical supply room. Any success gettin' in there?". Selma sighs, putting down the binoculars and kneading her nape which is aching from the physical effort, as she speaks: "You don't want to hear that, Liz, but I'm tellin' you: It's hopeless. No chance without the keys, especially not the gun room since our lovely Sarah burgled it.. We barricaded it all too well...". Elizabeth's face gets more serious and Selma is feeling uncomfortable looking at her friend, who used to be the funniest person she ever knew and now looks like the most bitter woman in the world with her scornful look and the eyepatch. Eventually, Liz takes another smoke as she finally speaks: "We'll keep trying - until then we are going to guard this place and kill every single motherfucker who dares to take what is ours."
Clem got rid of the heavy walker body. She tossed it into the bushes and walked past a puddle on her way back to the cave. Her mirror image frightens her: Walker mud all over her, scratches and dark circles around her eyes - a testimonial of what she's been going through in the last days, weeks, months.
Clementine puts down her knife and starts to wash her face - her new company doesn't have to know, what happened. Very ashamed that she almost got her friend killed Clementine checks on her clothes and eventually decides it's time to get dressed in something new and fresh: the hoodie she got from "Honey". She steps into the cave, this time closing the entrance with the heavy wooden board which has been serving as the door.
Ruby is still sleeping. When Clem takes off her red hoodie a couple of things are falling out the large pockets: the wooden duck, she found in Kenny's pocket, the letter from Karim to "Honey", hair bands, an ammo box she got from Bryan's armor box and a couple of labeled keys. Clem is wondering where she got them from. The labels say "Medical supply room", "Gun room", "Jail" and "Storage room". Bad memories come up, haunting her. Unwilling to face them Clem throws the keys against the wall angrily. The shrill noise of the keys clattering on the guitar case awake Ruby. Clem is happy to see her among the living: "Ruby ... oh I am so glad you're conscious".
Note: I was thinking a lot whether to make this post or not since we discussed we focus on Clem and Ruby. Though, I've read our first fan season once again and realized that Clem still has the vital keys, the keys she and Jeremy found in John's office. Then I was so afraid that we might forget about them, so I couldn't help it and came up with Liz and Selma. They are no new characters and we don't need to focus on this side story. I just wanted to make aware that the keys are still among us.
Really nice! : D Glad to see Elizabeth is alive and well, acting more badass than ever before!
A groan of pain echoes through the cave when Ruby fails horribly in her attempts to sit up straight. Clementine worriedly rushes over to her companion and pulls her up against the wall. "You should take it easy." she says while checking the filthy wound embedded into Ruby's shoulder. "That looks nasty..." The woman lets out another painful groan before grabbing her shoulder and squeezes it desperately. "I'll be okay. It could have been worse." Filled with skepticism and disbelief, Clementine puts her hands to her side and lets out a taunting puff. "The pool of blood you were laying in when I found you begs to differ." Ruby's lips stay sealed, leaving a cold silence hanging in the air. Clementine watches as the last pieces of wood left in the campfire burn up, leaving nothing but ash. She grabs a fresh log from the dwindling pile Bryan had left in his cave and throws it onto the burning ashes, causing a cloud of smoke and dust to fly into her face. Coughing loudly, the little girl throws on a handful of tinder and smaller sticks, before lighting them with the lighter Kenny had given her just a week ago. "Now we've got a fire." Clementine smirks contently before sitting down next to Ruby and reaching for her bottle of water.
(Please listen to this:
)
"Do you want some?"
Ruby happily accepts her offer and takes a large sip of the clear liquid. "Ah..." Her cheeks become red as she wipes some water from her smiling lips. "I'm so glad to be here with you. You know, you looked a lot different in my imagination." Clementine giggles awkwardly at the woman's strange remark. "I don't care about your looks. I'm just happy not to be alone anymore." Ruby stares at the crackling fire in front of her before finally opening her mouth again. This time her tone is serious. "I was just wondering, how did a little girl like you survive on her own for so long?" The question immediately puts a grim expression on Clementine's face. It's the same question she had asked herself when Lee died and she had to fend for her own. It's the same question she had asked herself when Omid and Christa had died, and she was left alone with Kenny, Charlie and a group she had barely got to know. It's the same question she had been asking herself when Kenny died and all she had left was herself, until Ruby showed up.
"Survive?" She spits out the word like it leaves a bad taste in her mouth. "That little girl didn't survive. She died the day she saw her dead parents walking on the street. That girl died when she saw some of her best friends getting devoured by flesh-eating monsters. That girl died when she had to shoot the only man who had protected her through all of the shit this horrible world had thrown at her!" Moving back into reality, Clementine realizes she had stood up and and had been staring into Ruby's eyes, screaming into her terrified face. She takes a step back when a tear runs down each of her cheeks, followed by a flow of all the tears she had been holding back for so long.
"I'm sorry." She whispers with a small voice.
Cool! Now it's getting interesting between Clem and Rubes
Ruby didn't know what to say next, everything became so awkward. Clem leans down to sit next to her. "I... I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just so pissed. I've been through to much Shit, I've lost a lot of people I cared about. There was this man, Lee, he saved me the first days. But... I got him killed. I was too trusting, and Lee died because of that. It was the same day I died too." Ruby felt so bad, she wanted to cry but held back her tears. "After all that, everyone else I met and knew died. It's just me now. I think I should keep it that way too. You should just leave before I get you killed too." Clem said, staring into the fire. She was done with it all, she was tired of meeting people only for them to be killed off later.
"... I'm not gonna leave you." "I can take care of myself. I just, don't wanna hurt anyone anymore..." "It's okay. I'll probably get myself killed first, hence the bullet wound. I'm REALLY clumsy, it's not even funny. I trip over things more then the average person." Clem giggles, But was interrupted by some noise out in the woods. Don't tell me it's that crazy guy again. Clem thinks. "What was that? Ruby silently asked. "I don't know, sounds like a car." Ruby reaches over to her holster and quickly pulls her pistol out. There was also Gunfire heard. "Are those assault rifle shots?" Ruby asks herself. "Clem, get your weapon ready." The sound of the vehicle quickly fades away, it was strange. "...I'll go check, see if he's gone." Clem says. "What? It's still foggy out. He's not coming back." "We don't know that. I'm just gonna look around the area, I won't be far." Clem says as she grabs her backpack. "... Alright I guess." Ruby says. Clem then slowly walks out the cave, having her weapon ready. She walks a few feet looking around every corner. She slowly goes deeper into the fog.
It's been a few minutes, Clem should have been back by now if she was just checking the area. "Where is she?" Ruby whispers to herself. Ruby then stands up, grabbing her pistol and peaking her head out the cave. "Clementine? You there?" She loudly whispers. Ruby walks to her bag, her arm is still aching but she'll suck it up. She grabs her things and walks out the cave, aiming her pistol. She does find small footprints. "Okay, that has to be Clem's." She whispers.
After walking a few minutes to what felt like forever, Ruby makes it out of the woods and ends up on a Road. Both ways leading to nowhere. Ruby then sets her things down, and digs around in her bag. "Could have sworn I had a map." She says scratching her cheek. Ruby saw through the corner of her eye 6 dead Walkers on the road, she approaches the bodies with her pistol ready. "The blood's fresh." She says to herself "All shot in the head... Bullet holes in their bodies as well. Was this the Assault Rifle's maybe?" She then sees tire marks a few feet away, with a Shovel right next to them. "Hmm... The vehicle probably went that way. Note to self, don't go that way." Ruby says to herself. She then stands up, and gets a sharp pain in her wound. "Fuckin' bullet owww." Ruby had lost Clem, the footprints ended at the road, nothing left to track.
Question: Why did you want Clem and Ruby out of the cave? I liked your other post very much, this one didn't appeal to me, though. Clem's flight was kinda drama queenish and sudden and they didn't really get the chance to get to know each other. Besides, the post indicates that the man with the shovel took her (which reminds me of the stranger taking Clem). Just don't think it's the right time for that kinda twist in the early state of Episode 1, raising the suspense so fast. Just my personal opinion. Good writing, though!
Edit: I assume you're intending to introduce your personal character (the shovel man) pretty soon, which is understandable. Though, I wish you had given Clem and Rubes much more time to develop a bond. I don't think Clem would leave her safe shelter just like that.
I just wanted them out just so they could talk in a different location. Yes her storming out was kinda forced but I don't know, like I said I did slack on the post. And no, the unknown man didn't kidnap Clem. I just through that in there as a reference.
I understand. No worries, I am sorry if I might have worried you with my critique.
Yep. We've all been there, it happens.
I've actually got a great idea for where Ruby and Clem could meet up... : )
Great
That's good, I really dislike my post so I'm glad someone could carry on.
Where are HSP and Snufkin?
So the footprints were shovel mans? And is it okay if I write? I snow snufkin and HSP haven't posted in a while and That_1_Guy has an idea for something so I'm not really sure.
Note: That_1_Guy I saw someone named That1Guy. Is that you or?....
No it was Clem's footprints.
To TheMissus: it was actually smart to leave the cave I just thought. There's Walkers all in the woods and the Walker Clem killed in my first post pretty much confirms that.
There was a user around before by that name. But I haven't seen him recently. Honestly, I thought That_1_Guy was him.
Depends on how you see it. She left the cave without the precious armory of Bryan's. She left her personal Gallery behind, either. Besides the episode title is "Fortress of solitude" and I wish the cave had played a more important role. My personal opinion of course.
I'm just going to be honest: I don't like this post.
The whole Clem being a drama queen and running off makes zero sense and leaving the safety and warmth of the cave together with a wounded woman behind in the middle of the night with heavy fog and even forgetting her bag doesn't seem like ANYTHING a young smart girl like Clementine would ever do, even in an emotional moment.
I say you should either take the time to change the post you even said yourself, slacks, or you should simply delete if you don't feel like taking the time to write a post with care and attention.
Also, don't take this as me trying to hurt you in any way, I'm just pointing out the mistakes in your post so you can improve upon them and maybe even learn something in the process.