Uh are you dying any time soon? Like in the next year?
I don't know. Do any of us? Maybe I will die next year. Maybe I'll die tomorrow. I have a problem that crops up every few months....well, it's happened twice. It comes out of nowhere. I become weak, then ill, then I have to lie down. Eventually, my body completely shuts off and restarts, and my senses come back one at a time, followed by the worst panic attack and feeling of my brains about to explode you could imagine. I've come pretty close to seeing that white light both times, and I don't know if it'll happen again or when. It's times like those that make me realize:
One second you're here, then bam. You don't even see it coming, and your world is ripped away from you. It could happen anytime, anywhere. So yes, I treat every day like my last.
Yah well my friend actually is going to die this year. Don't torture yourself so much. She doesn't, she enjoys her life. She's not pondering its deep philosophical truths and meanings. over thinking life just leads to less enjoying it. She's enjoying her life.
My mother's only friend is dying within the week. Just found this out tonight. We can't see her in time. My mom doesn't know what to say to her. Friends for 22 years, those two, and she's all my mom has for a true friend. My mother is going to feel so alone soon.
Her friend is happy, and at peace. She doesn't want anyone to grieve.
I thought about that all day. But that's not me. I've always been afraid. When I was a baby I would go into fits of tears if someone laughed. As a child, I had crippling phobias of the dark and hallways and nightly recurring nightmares. As a teenager I was a nervous wreck in high school trying to get everyone to like me while dealing with extreme shyness and agoraphobia and panic disorder, and I failed with almost everyone. And now as a young adult I'm scared to go to sleep because I'm pondering the meaning of life. I have never been able to enjoy life. I make jokes, and make fun of others to cope. That's how I get enjoyment. Not great.
This isn't a switch, you overpaid quack. This is WHO I AM. I can't deal with this on my own. I need professional help. Which is really funny since I consider that a load of bullshit. Shrinks are people too; they're afraid and they deal with the same things I do and lack the same answers I do. Yet they're the professionals who can help me. Funny. That's funny.
I'm on Zoloft. It does weird things to me. If I forget to take it, I end up on a down and have mood swings. I'm at the point with it if I don't take it I shake and my head feels dizzy.
I had mood swings before I took it, though, too. Zoloft's very effective against panic attacks. I can feel them coming on, but they never happen. It's like being unable to pee.
They always are, when there is nothing new. Well except for the Monkey Island sub. That one was very active even after.
And all that's left is the same old guys writing here.:D
Ah, no. There's actually still a lot happening in the TWD forum, including newly registered members asking about stuff that has been discussed 1000 times.
I was a bit shocked to see how quickly interest in the forum beta waned. I really hope there's no community loss in that migration... :eek:
Did you see/what was your opinion on Coralline? Depending on how you liked or didn't like it and why, it'd be easier to figure out if you'd like it.
I thought it was all right. It's been quite a while, so I'm not really sure what exactly I did/didn't like. Maybe I'll have to give it a watch again soon and get back to you.
I was a bit shocked to see how quickly interest in the forum beta waned. I really hope there's no community loss in that migration... :eek:
The need to log in every time you closed your browser keeps even me away.
Also searching for new posts is a nightmare right now. So what is the point of even going there?
What do you do when your boss promises to give you information about the new department your supposed to be working on at the end of the week, but then decides to go on holiday for the rest of that week and not tell you anything at all?
Because thats the situation I am in now.
And I've had enough now.
This guy, just hasn't done anything about his side of the arrangement, and after four month of pushing a trolley around I've just had enough.
(It was only supposed to be 6-8 weeks. I heard that come from his very lips so I know that I couldn't be confused here)
I haven't even bothered to go into work this week. I don't even KNOW what work I'm supposed to be doing.
I just can't go on with this. I mean I worked 5 days a week for four months, 37 hours a week, and only getting paid my regular 7.5 hour weekly pay, and for what?
Nothing. Exactly nothing.
I have learned nothing. Dotcom never did anything with me except order me to push trolleys around all day.
For fucks sake, I'm supposed to be doing a placement here. I'm doing a fucking business degree. I need to be learning stuff. Anything.
But I learned nothing else. I didn't even have that day out with the driver I was promised.
I... need to look for something else now. A new job, or just charity work for the week or something, because anything is better than this.
I mean I had to get out of it. The despair was all-consuming.
I don't see how people can live with that monotony. That groundhog day-like experience.
It was maddening. I constantly felt like running out of the store and jumping into the traffic or something, just to escape it all.
My life isn't great as it is, but this was pushing me over the line. It was just plain unhealthy.
I can't bring myself to tell the uni about it still. Its been a very long time since I've been in contact. Likely screwed everything up, but Its the shame guys. I feel so ashamed of myself. That I let this happen.
I was so desperate to stay on the course I tried everything. I probably should have sucked up that very little pride I had left and just transferred.
I just can't handle it. Seeing all those "uni-friends" again.
They might even half-care about me, but I couldn't face them.
They were all so successful, getting everything they wanted, having those perfect little experiences, posting it all up on facebook and that, and me?
nothing. I just never achieve anything, and it just depresses me.
I try so hard to do stuff, but I just never seem to get enough traction to be successful.
I don't have a lot of skill. I don't have any connections really.
Even basic things have been a struggle to me. Hell it took a lot of convincing by my parents just to go to a Magic draft.
Something that simple, and I struggle with it.
I was so nervous when I went as well. Its so stupid but its true. I'm just full of fear.
Afraid to step out of the shadows I lurk in and be noticed.
I crave to be recognised, to be acknowledged, to have that little bit more, but I'm so afraid to commit to that. Afraid I'll get burned by playing with fire.
Only when I surrender my heart, do I ever seem capable to rebel.
But its a kind of mindless rebellion, and it simply does not last.
Somehow this c-c-cowardly Lion needs to learn some true bravery. Else he's just going to go nowhere.
Sorry for dumping this all down at once, but I really needed to vent today.
Ah, no. There's actually still a lot happening in the TWD forum, including newly registered members asking about stuff that has been discussed 1000 times.
I was a bit shocked to see how quickly interest in the forum beta waned. I really hope there's no community loss in that migration... :eek:
Yeah but that's TWD. Not to say it's not its own thing but it sorta is. The General Chat area is my frequent flock because I don't always want to talk about specific games per se.
(FYI To Darth Marsden ever since you corrected me for saying "per say" I can't abide it being written incorrectly)
Yeah but that's TWD. Not to say it's not its own thing but it sorta is.
Again, you just have to think back to 2009 and the advent of Monkey Island. Exactly the same situation. EVERYTHING was MI. The only difference was that the interest after episode 5 immediately got transferred to S&M3.
Every time my girl is afraid, my heart just melts. There's nothing I can do for her. I can't save her. So why do I even have love?
Protection is an illusion. But upholding that illusion can be pretty convincing. And rewarding. After all, we do think of Don Quichotte as a noble figure, don't we? Care, consolation and encouragement aren't illusions. You can give that. Real and true and felt and passionate. That's a strength that makes us people.
And don't start with the chemical nonsense. Love is more complicated than chemicals, and in the end, our feelings are the only truth we can really rely on. If love is all chemicals... give a heartfelt thanks to the chemicals.
The need to log in every time you closed your browser keeps even me away.
It's not even just when you close your browser. It's whenever you're inactive for fifteen minutes or so. Because I never close my browser. Ever. And I still had to log in repeatedly.
I might be making my permanent residence at myth-weavers after this. I practically have been living there anyways recently.
The need to log in every time you closed your browser keeps even me away.
Also searching for new posts is a nightmare right now. So what is the point of even going there?
For what it's worth, the feedback has been heard, and both of those things are supposed to change when the new site launches. You'll be able to have a persistent login (that was supposed to happen in the beta, but seems the mechanism was bugged). I believe the current plan for improving navigation is to develop a "Next unread post" button, which you can click to travel to each new post in the thread in visual (rather than post-time) order.
I was going to make a short post about options that have come up in my life but it was going on longer than I had anticipated and so decided it would be better served as a blog post.
May as well use it more often as it's a good place to explore my state of mind without recrimination, and though this place is also good for that I get the feeling it won't be around much longer.
You're right, I should. Got one university added to my application, which I think is ideally placed. Going to try and find one or two more places that I can apply for. I think I may still move even if I don't get in but would much rather have something lined up before going.
Comments
I don't know. Do any of us? Maybe I will die next year. Maybe I'll die tomorrow. I have a problem that crops up every few months....well, it's happened twice. It comes out of nowhere. I become weak, then ill, then I have to lie down. Eventually, my body completely shuts off and restarts, and my senses come back one at a time, followed by the worst panic attack and feeling of my brains about to explode you could imagine. I've come pretty close to seeing that white light both times, and I don't know if it'll happen again or when. It's times like those that make me realize:
One second you're here, then bam. You don't even see it coming, and your world is ripped away from you. It could happen anytime, anywhere. So yes, I treat every day like my last.
I only fear pain and dismemberment.
Her friend is happy, and at peace. She doesn't want anyone to grieve.
I thought about that all day. But that's not me. I've always been afraid. When I was a baby I would go into fits of tears if someone laughed. As a child, I had crippling phobias of the dark and hallways and nightly recurring nightmares. As a teenager I was a nervous wreck in high school trying to get everyone to like me while dealing with extreme shyness and agoraphobia and panic disorder, and I failed with almost everyone. And now as a young adult I'm scared to go to sleep because I'm pondering the meaning of life. I have never been able to enjoy life. I make jokes, and make fun of others to cope. That's how I get enjoyment. Not great.
This isn't a switch, you overpaid quack.
I had mood swings before I took it, though, too. Zoloft's very effective against panic attacks. I can feel them coming on, but they never happen. It's like being unable to pee.
They always are, when there is nothing new. Well except for the Monkey Island sub. That one was very active even after.
And all that's left is the same old guys writing here.:D
Working on an animated short, I guess. This'll go far. Yep.
That's what George Lucas does to you.
Please don't mention that guy and Howard in the same sentence.
Ah, no. There's actually still a lot happening in the TWD forum, including newly registered members asking about stuff that has been discussed 1000 times.
I was a bit shocked to see how quickly interest in the forum beta waned. I really hope there's no community loss in that migration... :eek:
I thought it was all right. It's been quite a while, so I'm not really sure what exactly I did/didn't like. Maybe I'll have to give it a watch again soon and get back to you.
Oh, I'd guarantee that there will be. I just hope that the finished product is such that I don't decide to join the exodus.
Also searching for new posts is a nightmare right now. So what is the point of even going there?
Because thats the situation I am in now.
And I've had enough now.
This guy, just hasn't done anything about his side of the arrangement, and after four month of pushing a trolley around I've just had enough.
(It was only supposed to be 6-8 weeks. I heard that come from his very lips so I know that I couldn't be confused here)
I haven't even bothered to go into work this week. I don't even KNOW what work I'm supposed to be doing.
I just can't go on with this. I mean I worked 5 days a week for four months, 37 hours a week, and only getting paid my regular 7.5 hour weekly pay, and for what?
Nothing. Exactly nothing.
I have learned nothing. Dotcom never did anything with me except order me to push trolleys around all day.
For fucks sake, I'm supposed to be doing a placement here. I'm doing a fucking business degree. I need to be learning stuff. Anything.
But I learned nothing else. I didn't even have that day out with the driver I was promised.
I... need to look for something else now. A new job, or just charity work for the week or something, because anything is better than this.
I mean I had to get out of it. The despair was all-consuming.
I don't see how people can live with that monotony. That groundhog day-like experience.
It was maddening. I constantly felt like running out of the store and jumping into the traffic or something, just to escape it all.
My life isn't great as it is, but this was pushing me over the line. It was just plain unhealthy.
I can't bring myself to tell the uni about it still. Its been a very long time since I've been in contact. Likely screwed everything up, but Its the shame guys. I feel so ashamed of myself. That I let this happen.
I was so desperate to stay on the course I tried everything. I probably should have sucked up that very little pride I had left and just transferred.
I just can't handle it. Seeing all those "uni-friends" again.
They might even half-care about me, but I couldn't face them.
They were all so successful, getting everything they wanted, having those perfect little experiences, posting it all up on facebook and that, and me?
nothing. I just never achieve anything, and it just depresses me.
I try so hard to do stuff, but I just never seem to get enough traction to be successful.
I don't have a lot of skill. I don't have any connections really.
Even basic things have been a struggle to me. Hell it took a lot of convincing by my parents just to go to a Magic draft.
Something that simple, and I struggle with it.
I was so nervous when I went as well. Its so stupid but its true. I'm just full of fear.
Afraid to step out of the shadows I lurk in and be noticed.
I crave to be recognised, to be acknowledged, to have that little bit more, but I'm so afraid to commit to that. Afraid I'll get burned by playing with fire.
Only when I surrender my heart, do I ever seem capable to rebel.
But its a kind of mindless rebellion, and it simply does not last.
Somehow this c-c-cowardly Lion needs to learn some true bravery. Else he's just going to go nowhere.
Sorry for dumping this all down at once, but I really needed to vent today.
Yeah but that's TWD. Not to say it's not its own thing but it sorta is. The General Chat area is my frequent flock because I don't always want to talk about specific games per se.
(FYI To Darth Marsden ever since you corrected me for saying "per say" I can't abide it being written incorrectly)
Again, you just have to think back to 2009 and the advent of Monkey Island. Exactly the same situation. EVERYTHING was MI. The only difference was that the interest after episode 5 immediately got transferred to S&M3.
Protection is an illusion. But upholding that illusion can be pretty convincing. And rewarding. After all, we do think of Don Quichotte as a noble figure, don't we? Care, consolation and encouragement aren't illusions. You can give that. Real and true and felt and passionate. That's a strength that makes us people.
And don't start with the chemical nonsense. Love is more complicated than chemicals, and in the end, our feelings are the only truth we can really rely on. If love is all chemicals... give a heartfelt thanks to the chemicals.
It's not even just when you close your browser. It's whenever you're inactive for fifteen minutes or so. Because I never close my browser. Ever. And I still had to log in repeatedly.
I might be making my permanent residence at myth-weavers after this. I practically have been living there anyways recently.
For what it's worth, the feedback has been heard, and both of those things are supposed to change when the new site launches. You'll be able to have a persistent login (that was supposed to happen in the beta, but seems the mechanism was bugged). I believe the current plan for improving navigation is to develop a "Next unread post" button, which you can click to travel to each new post in the thread in visual (rather than post-time) order.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCv-HxktZFc
Whereabouts is that?
Attachment not found.
May as well use it more often as it's a good place to explore my state of mind without recrimination, and though this place is also good for that I get the feeling it won't be around much longer.
Oh and if anyone is at all interested, the blog post is here: http://corruptbiggins.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/options.html
Do it. Go to London.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2qdvELqskc
You're right, I should. Got one university added to my application, which I think is ideally placed. Going to try and find one or two more places that I can apply for. I think I may still move even if I don't get in but would much rather have something lined up before going.
That's just my satanic powers.
Unfortunately, this UMG-music-content is not available in Germany because GEMA has not granted the respective music publishing rights.
I was going to quake in fear before you, but that was before I saw coolsome's post.