Wow, good for you LordFlux. It's a real succes story!
I guess online dating worked for you, though I think it wouldn't work for everybody. The chances of something like this are really small.
What I do think is that people put to much pressure on the dating thing in general. People like Doodo and Lonnie are just shouting that they don't see the need for dating because they feel insecure about about themselves and their chances in the dating world.
The fact is that if you just let go of the whole "I need to get a girlfriend" thing, but keep all the oppertunities open, that one day it will just happen.
Ranting about how strange women are won't make you seem cool or sophisticated. It just confirms your insecurity and the inability to look at your own weaker sides and work on them.
You might be really bad at dating and making contact, but don't give me that bullshit about women. It's usually your own fault, and the sooner you realise this, the sooner you'll make progress.
I never said 'I need a GF' because I don't. I was simply stating that online dating was a waste of time, or had come across that way for me personally. I consider myself a good looking guy with a good personality but I never seem to click with someone I FANCY/Like/etc. It seems most people on that site really can't be arsed making the effort.
It can kiss my ass too. In fact, I've decided I want to be a lone, and just avoid women so that they don't depress me any more. And when I retire I can retire any place in the world I feel like, no seeds planted anywhere, no roots anchoring me down.
Never getting married then? I personally don't feel the need to get 'married'.
I've seen all sorts of daters (is that a word? It is now.) thanks to a psychotic group of friends. Some would go into one just because they needed to, because it's the natural order of things, because it's what society wants, all sorts of really stupid and really bland reasons, but there were also people who would go into one because they felt genuine affection for each other. Some relationships work, others don't. It really depends on the person, location, and/or situation.
For the online thing, it's really depends on the person, for some it works, for others it doesn't. Is it bad? Not necessarily, I know several people who did it and are married for a couple of years but that also shouldn't rule out actually going out to meet people. Being social can be a good thing (so what I heard).
For those who say women are clingy/evil/lazy and such. I beg to differ. Now, I'm not saying anyone of yours' argument is wrong/stupid/inaccurate or anything of that caliber, but this is something that I just wanted to throw out there. I just recently broke up with my ex who could be placed under the "stupid jerk" type, or something of that extent. I understand the idea of people wanting affection and to be told that they love one another, but there is also the idea of balance. Naturally, a lot of people will say women are the attention grabbing types, and men are just relaxed. Not in this case. If anything, it was as if the roles have been reversed. It started off nice, we would call each other, go movies together, hang around bakeries and such. Until eventually he started to insult my family and my brother's girlfriend, and pretty much trying to break me off with any of my friends, moved WAAAAY too fast (when I wanted him to come and hang around with me and my friends for a party, he just wanted me in bed with him), and made sure I was his entire focal point. I understand the idea of to love and to be loved, sacrificing, and all that jazz, but to make him my ONLY focal point wasn't such a great idea the flew with me. But what would I know after all? So I did that, I gave me my undivided attention until work came in and I decided to put all my efforts into my classes, then there were a bit of family problems (won't get into that), and I started talking to him less and less. It didn't make him happy because I wasn't giving him any attention. Eventually I forced myself to find time for him and asked how he was doing; it became calls how my major (Game Art and Design) is a joke, I'm a child, he's smart, and he's more important. I ended up having to listen to his shopping lists of complaints while he listened to none of mine. Eventually I got really hectic again in my work that I became extremely busy, so much so to the point I went through a mental breakdown (this was mainly due to lack of sleep and eating just so I can put more effort into my classes) so calls became texts, and daily became weekly, weekly became monthly. So once the hecticness came to a dwindle, and issues started to clear up, I called him up to see how he was doing, which only ended up with him telling me he left somewhere else and proceeded to hang up on me. Okay, I thought, I guess he was busy. Turns out he wasn't and eventually I got scowled for not showing him enough love like I do to my family/work/etc. Finally I said screw it and just told him (not yelled, mind you) that I don't feel any balance in this relationship, and that everything is too one sided and he moved too fast for me (I kept my mouth shut for him, because every time I brought up an issue he would just laugh at my face and treated me like a kid. Something I SERIOUSLY hate.) he stopped talking with me after I told him. I was told by his father THROUGH MY MOTHER at a dinner that he broke up with me. Jerk didn't bother changing the status on facebook. So I took the liberty of doing it. Needless to say, not all women are asses, men could be too.
But back to my main point: It depends. For some it works, for others it doesn't, as for me... well I just need to keep looking.
I'll say this about online dating: I've never noticed any profiles around Georgia that don't have "muddin" as an interest. It makes me firmly believe that I was born in the wrong part of the country. Eh.
A horrible, terrible, redneck activity where you drive trucks through mud bogs. It's so inane, but everyone around here seems to be as taken with it as they are with high school football and country music. Oh, South. Why are your priorities so fucked up?
I'll say this about online dating: I've never noticed any profiles around Georgia that don't have "muddin" as an interest. It makes me firmly believe that I was born in the wrong part of the country. Eh.
I know exactly what you mean -- I'm in Georgia. ^_^ Lived in Dublin when I was looking. (home of the Redneck Olympics -- WOO WEE!!! :P )
My 'future wife' lived just outside of Kathleen. Her profile mostly made mention of movies and books. She didn't have a profile picture up.
I didn't post to give the impression that online dating is a sure-fire way to find someone. But like another poster mentioned, there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open.
I know exactly what you mean -- I'm in Georgia. ^_^ Lived in Dublin when I was looking. (home of the Redneck Olympics -- WOO WEE!!! :P )
My 'future wife' lived just outside of Kathleen. Her profile mostly made mention of movies and books. She didn't have a profile picture up.
I didn't post to give the impression that online dating is a sure-fire way to find someone. But like another poster mentioned, there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open.
This is true. That being said, the vast majority of the dates I've actually gone on have ended up being with geeks, goths and foreigners. I dated a redneck once and it was probably the most dull experience in my entire life. I think I've actually had more personal connection with standardized test coordinators.
Wait, why would you want to cut yourself off from half the world's population? Not wanting to seek a relationship is one thing, but avoiding women? That's kind of sad.
God damn im in love....i finally got the balls to give this woman ive liked for aaaages my numbe at work and she txt me
anyhoo we are chatting on facebook and she feels the same...but shes married lmao
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMMMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Still shes been unhappy with her husband for a long time
and dont tell me i cant have a married woman...if shes unhappy with her husband then the dude doesnt own her
and god damn im pissed out of my head drinking some kiwi beer......hahaahhahaa...listening to the awesome tom waits.....
These are dangerous territories that you're getting in.
An affair with a married woman can be a pretty unhealthy thing... She doesn't have kids does she?
I dunno actually.....she says shes been unhappy with her husband for a while. shes from Phillipines and she never really liked him from the sounds of it. She said she was thinking of leaving him beforfe she met me.
Yeh she does have 2 kids.
Dont make me out to be some devil. I told her to do what she feels. I'm not pressuring her at all.
Here's a couple of questions you should answer to yourself. You don't have to post the answers here, in fact I discourage it.
Where did you meet this lady? How well do you know this lady? Does she have proof that her story is true other than word of mouth? Do you have any reason other than word of mouth that she's truthful? Do you have reason to believe that she's not trying to use you to try to get out of the relationship?
If everything is still fine and dandy, I'd still caution treading cautiously.
Either way, unless it's absolutely impossible for her to get a divorce safely, I don't think it'd be wise to have any official moves should be made until then. That sorta thing complicates everything.
1) Don't use pay sites unless there is no other option in your country.
2) Don't send a message with just "hey how are you?" They are getting literally dozens of messages a day from guys - why the f would they respond to somebody who says nothing more than "what's up?", unless he is super attractive?
Ask them about something that you noticed in their profile, but try to make it something interesting rather than what every other guy is going to say. Something playful like "oh man, we would never get along if you like xxxx - did you see when xxxx did xxxx?" Do not compliment them on their looks, including smile and eyes (EVERY guy does that). Do not compliment them on anything.
Again, they're getting dozens of messages a day. Do something different. Something as ridiculous as "are you wearing a wig?" is highly preferable to "hey u have nice eyes how r u?" Also, don't use "text speak" or abbreviations, use proper grammar, and learn the difference between your and you're if you don't already know.
3) It's a numbers game. If you get more than 20% of girls to respond to you then you're doing really well. 10% is not abnormal.
4) On your third message back to a girl in a back-and-forth, tell her you guys should meet up for coffee or a drink, then ask for her number and/or give her yours and tell her to text you.
5) It's still a numbers game even if you get this far...many girls will flake at some point, it's just the nature of online dating. She'll never respond to your calls/texts, you'll make plans to meet for the first time and she'll cancel, etc. I've flaked as well (I'm a guy), it's just the way it goes.
6) If you can meet to do something casual but fun it's a huge plus. For example, a bar near me does trivia nights (including sex trivia), and I often try to get a girl to meet me there at that time. Then you sit right up close to her while you're writing the answers down together, tease her, give her a fake push when she gets an answer wrong, etc. Touch her as much as possible (but not in a creepy way - and don't put your arm around her or any nonsense like that). Find some excuse to take her hand and pretend to read her palm or whatever.
Ok then, Fawful. What's your preference for women?
A good sense of humor and intelligence. And I mean a DAMN GOOD sense of humor. Someone with true wit, who doesn't get phased by anything, and can throw quips all back in one's face. I've never heard of a goth like that. Then again, I've rarely ever met a woman like that. Plus, the goth thing just doesn't appeal to me.
A good sense of humor and intelligence. And I mean a DAMN GOOD sense of humor. Someone with true wit, who doesn't get phased by anything, and can throw quips all back in one's face. I've never heard of a goth like that. Then again, I've rarely ever met a woman like that. Plus, the goth thing just doesn't appeal to me.
Unless I become asexual. Then I won't care.
And your definition of a "good sense of humour" is?
(I'm not being accusative or anything, I'm just curious, (as you may unfortunately be a little like me (except that I also have unrealistic expecations on a womans looks as well (more in the comparative sense. I fancy women that are normally "out of my league" as some shallow minded people put it...))))
And your definition of a "good sense of humour" is?
I just defined it. She's skilled enough with wit and humor that it takes something a great deal insulting and horrible, the likes of which I would never say, to phase her, and anything else she can throw back with ease. And when I mean humor, because I know there are different types, I'm talking about someone who would laugh at the Marx Brothers or George Carlin or Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett(not necessarily those but you get the idea), not someone who sits in front of American Idol or a Youtube Poop and gets her kicks that way.
Oh, and I refuse to date anyone, ever, who likes Twilight. EVER. If that makes me shallow, TOO BAD. I don't care how nice she is, I don't care how hot she is. I don't care if she loves me more than life itself. Well, I would be respectful of her feelings, but I just despise that series so much that I question anyone who does like it. That's about my only real peeve though. I dunno, I guess it would depend.
I'm a girl, so I thought maybe I'd offer some perspective.
First off, please don't view me as an exotic and fragile animal. Yes, all of us have some unique traits that would traditionally be classified as feminine. But all of us also have some unique traits that would traditionally be classified as masculine, and all of you have some traits that would traditionally be classified as feminine and masculine, so can we please stop saying things like "girls hate it when guys do xyz"?
Yes, some (or even most) girls will act a certain way in certain situations. But we don't have a "code" for you to crack. Honest. Just treat me like a person, be yourself, and don't make assumptions. Feminism is rocky ground, and it's easy to offend because of the many viewpoints out there. I get that. If your intentions are good, I'll forgive you for flubbing something. And if I don't, you probably don't want to date me, because that isn't a trait that's likely to go away.
Speaking personally, I appreciate traditional chivalry (opening doors, offering to pay), but I don't mind opening doors for myself or paying my half, especially if my date is a struggling artist (this happened a lot during college). I've also paid for dates. If you'll be dating for a long time, it will all merge together anyway. But I want it worked out before the date.
I used to hate when men would try to find excuses to touch or poke me during a date. They tried to act like it was playful, but it felt forced and intrusive, because I knew they would never act that way if we were just hanging out as friends. Some women might like it, though. I fell in love with my husband because it felt like we had been friends forever on our first date, and I was attracted to him. So it was like friends, plus physical attraction. I ended up asking HIM for a kiss.
You don't have to be tremendously hot for her to be physically attracted to you. You'd be surprised what individual women find attractive - and giving her your full attention goes a long way.
If we're on about it, there's a girl in work I like.
I gave her my 3DS to play while she was on lunch, when I got it back the completley untouchable top screen was all mucky where she had been jabbing it trying to push buttons
A good sense of humor and intelligence. And I mean a DAMN GOOD sense of humor. Someone with true wit, who doesn't get phased by anything, and can throw quips all back in one's face. I've never heard of a goth like that.
Goth: That's unfortunate, I had
Geek: Are you kidding? I daresay a lot of geeks are exactly that way!
Foreigner: You know, everyone is foreigner for someone else...
But we don't have a "code" for you to crack. Honest.
Ah ah ah, made me laugh! :D
One of the best ways I heard to put that point
EDIT: Oh, BTW, I too have found my True Love (very healthy and healing just after a very unhealthy relationship) on the Intertubes
Not a dating site though, but on a social network dedicated to books. We began to chat and the rest happily followed
I used to hate when men would try to find excuses to touch or poke me during a date. They tried to act like it was playful, but it felt forced and intrusive, because I knew they would never act that way if we were just hanging out as friends.
You're not hanging out as friends and that's exactly the trap men need to avoid falling into.
You're not hanging out as friends and that's exactly the trap men need to avoid falling into.
I think most of the time this is really really true!
Nonetheless, evidently there are also women like Cojo who prefers something different.
Again, people are different.
Trite as it is, I think on a date you should do what you feel apt, keeping of course open eyes for the reaction and feelings of your counterpart, because there's no single way to please anyone.
Me, I prefer a little smooth and progressive physical contact and avoid the Friend Valley, yes
EDIT: Oh, something I struggled with at the beginning, a long time ago: try to relax and be confident, but DO NOT try too hard and be over-confident, you'll probably end up looking cold and an arsehole. Be comfortable with yourself.
Again, some women like cold arseholes; but the point is: do you like women who likes cold arseholes?
(If you happen to actually be a cold arsehole, of course these are not the droids you're looking for :P)
Retro and his date are walking through a shopping mall to get to the cinema
ME: OH LOOK! A HMV! Lets go in
Woman: ...
Retro scans the titles, then after a minuite or two starts laughing
ME: HAHAHA! How pathetic, these used games are always good for a good laugh.
Look! Halo Reach is still £35! I can get that like £18 on the internet
Woman:
Retro quickly dahses off to the music section, and quickly scans the titles
ME: Still no Deep Purple albums at a sale price. The AC/DC albums are always on sale, what a jip!
Woman: :?
Retro quickly dashes off to the DVD section. His date being rather confused and disorientated by his sudden movements
ME: Man, I wish they would have some good boxsets here. I can never find a boxset at a good price, even on the internet.
Retro's date is just about to catch up, then he suddenly starts to leave
ME: Meh, I'm bored here, lets go.
Woman: :X
Just as Retro and his date leave...
ME: Oh look! A Game, come on, lets see if they got anything neat.
Woman: >:/
about 15 minuites of Retro dashing through the shops passes and he looks down at his watch
ME: GAH! The movie's about to start. Come on Come on!! We can still make it!
Woman: *sighs*
1) Don't go to a cinema on a first date. It would be nonsense and awkard. You need a nice place to chat and begin to know each other (so, no cinema, no too loud music, etc.)
2) My GF loves when I go mad about music and games and comics etc.! She finds it cute and interesting.
Just do not ignore her for these thing, but try to involve her in your interests and be open to hers. (EDIT: If she actually can't stand your interests, she's probably not good for you.)
About the touching on the first date thing- Maybe it's the reason I have a lot of trouble finding a date, but I'm VERY uncomfortable being touched... and don't even get me started on kissing (I have a gag reflex that goes haywire, even if I try to kiss my parents)
Treat a person as a person and things should just go from there.
1. Online dating is cool, only if you have no social interaction what so ever. But sometimes it does happen.
2. Find a women who has some common interests, why not everything in common? Well to be honest you'd get bored with each other, and that ends up with cheating.
3. Make sure your friends approve, because well...Friends are Important too.
4. This goes along with #2. For the first date, try and find something interesting, that you both like doing. Like lunch at a museum, and or.. a movie that you both want to see.
5. Kissing should never be an important thing in a relationship...because well..you kiss to show affection and only do it..when you want to show affection, and Vice Versa.
6. If she's picky about her men, be picky about who you date. I am and well..I have a great girlfriend.
Now those are some of my rules, and I think good rules..but who knows everyone is different when it comes to dating. Just be yourself and they won't mind.
Comments
Umm no, but I've been with a few and I did this crazy thing, I listened when they were talking. You can learn a lot that way.
I never said 'I need a GF' because I don't. I was simply stating that online dating was a waste of time, or had come across that way for me personally. I consider myself a good looking guy with a good personality but I never seem to click with someone I FANCY/Like/etc. It seems most people on that site really can't be arsed making the effort.
Nice man thats a nice story. it always happens to other people!!! Lol.
Never getting married then? I personally don't feel the need to get 'married'.
Okay, time for my two cents.
In the words of my Animation teacher: It depends.
I've seen all sorts of daters (is that a word? It is now.) thanks to a psychotic group of friends. Some would go into one just because they needed to, because it's the natural order of things, because it's what society wants, all sorts of really stupid and really bland reasons, but there were also people who would go into one because they felt genuine affection for each other. Some relationships work, others don't. It really depends on the person, location, and/or situation.
For the online thing, it's really depends on the person, for some it works, for others it doesn't. Is it bad? Not necessarily, I know several people who did it and are married for a couple of years but that also shouldn't rule out actually going out to meet people. Being social can be a good thing (so what I heard).
For those who say women are clingy/evil/lazy and such. I beg to differ. Now, I'm not saying anyone of yours' argument is wrong/stupid/inaccurate or anything of that caliber, but this is something that I just wanted to throw out there. I just recently broke up with my ex who could be placed under the "stupid jerk" type, or something of that extent. I understand the idea of people wanting affection and to be told that they love one another, but there is also the idea of balance. Naturally, a lot of people will say women are the attention grabbing types, and men are just relaxed. Not in this case. If anything, it was as if the roles have been reversed. It started off nice, we would call each other, go movies together, hang around bakeries and such. Until eventually he started to insult my family and my brother's girlfriend, and pretty much trying to break me off with any of my friends, moved WAAAAY too fast (when I wanted him to come and hang around with me and my friends for a party, he just wanted me in bed with him), and made sure I was his entire focal point. I understand the idea of to love and to be loved, sacrificing, and all that jazz, but to make him my ONLY focal point wasn't such a great idea the flew with me. But what would I know after all? So I did that, I gave me my undivided attention until work came in and I decided to put all my efforts into my classes, then there were a bit of family problems (won't get into that), and I started talking to him less and less. It didn't make him happy because I wasn't giving him any attention. Eventually I forced myself to find time for him and asked how he was doing; it became calls how my major (Game Art and Design) is a joke, I'm a child, he's smart, and he's more important. I ended up having to listen to his shopping lists of complaints while he listened to none of mine. Eventually I got really hectic again in my work that I became extremely busy, so much so to the point I went through a mental breakdown (this was mainly due to lack of sleep and eating just so I can put more effort into my classes) so calls became texts, and daily became weekly, weekly became monthly. So once the hecticness came to a dwindle, and issues started to clear up, I called him up to see how he was doing, which only ended up with him telling me he left somewhere else and proceeded to hang up on me. Okay, I thought, I guess he was busy. Turns out he wasn't and eventually I got scowled for not showing him enough love like I do to my family/work/etc. Finally I said screw it and just told him (not yelled, mind you) that I don't feel any balance in this relationship, and that everything is too one sided and he moved too fast for me (I kept my mouth shut for him, because every time I brought up an issue he would just laugh at my face and treated me like a kid. Something I SERIOUSLY hate.) he stopped talking with me after I told him. I was told by his father THROUGH MY MOTHER at a dinner that he broke up with me. Jerk didn't bother changing the status on facebook. So I took the liberty of doing it. Needless to say, not all women are asses, men could be too.
But back to my main point: It depends. For some it works, for others it doesn't, as for me... well I just need to keep looking.
I know exactly what you mean -- I'm in Georgia. ^_^ Lived in Dublin when I was looking. (home of the Redneck Olympics -- WOO WEE!!! :P )
My 'future wife' lived just outside of Kathleen. Her profile mostly made mention of movies and books. She didn't have a profile picture up.
I didn't post to give the impression that online dating is a sure-fire way to find someone. But like another poster mentioned, there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open.
This is true. That being said, the vast majority of the dates I've actually gone on have ended up being with geeks, goths and foreigners. I dated a redneck once and it was probably the most dull experience in my entire life. I think I've actually had more personal connection with standardized test coordinators.
First phrase was correct, sir.
Corrected.
It's worse than sad.
I agree with you wholeheartedly on that. My girl and I have a really good relationship, just because we talk about everything. (and listen)
anyhoo we are chatting on facebook and she feels the same...but shes married lmao
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMMMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Still shes been unhappy with her husband for a long time
and dont tell me i cant have a married woman...if shes unhappy with her husband then the dude doesnt own her
and god damn im pissed out of my head drinking some kiwi beer......hahaahhahaa...listening to the awesome tom waits.....
These are dangerous territories that you're getting in.
An affair with a married woman can be a pretty unhealthy thing... She doesn't have kids does she?
You do have good music taste though.
Some sage advice I got from a random old lady who sat next to me once at a bus stop: "If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you."
Seconded, by experience.
I dunno actually.....she says shes been unhappy with her husband for a while. shes from Phillipines and she never really liked him from the sounds of it. She said she was thinking of leaving him beforfe she met me.
Yeh she does have 2 kids.
Dont make me out to be some devil. I told her to do what she feels. I'm not pressuring her at all.
Its no cheating like you think. Shes been unhappy with this douche bag for a long time.
He makes her work even whens shes pregnant and takes ALL her money.
I feel very strongly toward her and i never feel like this.
For her to feel the same is special to me.
F### her husband. He should of treated her better.
Hey, I love foreigner goth geeks! :P
Well, i'm on my fith bottle of whetver wicked beeeeeer im guzzling
gunna watch get him to the greek soon, for real
They are pretty awesome, it's true.
Oh, grabby fellow, aren't ya? :b
Here's a couple of questions you should answer to yourself. You don't have to post the answers here, in fact I discourage it.
Where did you meet this lady? How well do you know this lady? Does she have proof that her story is true other than word of mouth? Do you have any reason other than word of mouth that she's truthful? Do you have reason to believe that she's not trying to use you to try to get out of the relationship?
If everything is still fine and dandy, I'd still caution treading cautiously.
Either way, unless it's absolutely impossible for her to get a divorce safely, I don't think it'd be wise to have any official moves should be made until then. That sorta thing complicates everything.
Bleh.
Ok then, Fawful. What's your preference for women?
2) Don't send a message with just "hey how are you?" They are getting literally dozens of messages a day from guys - why the f would they respond to somebody who says nothing more than "what's up?", unless he is super attractive?
Ask them about something that you noticed in their profile, but try to make it something interesting rather than what every other guy is going to say. Something playful like "oh man, we would never get along if you like xxxx - did you see when xxxx did xxxx?" Do not compliment them on their looks, including smile and eyes (EVERY guy does that). Do not compliment them on anything.
Again, they're getting dozens of messages a day. Do something different. Something as ridiculous as "are you wearing a wig?" is highly preferable to "hey u have nice eyes how r u?" Also, don't use "text speak" or abbreviations, use proper grammar, and learn the difference between your and you're if you don't already know.
3) It's a numbers game. If you get more than 20% of girls to respond to you then you're doing really well. 10% is not abnormal.
4) On your third message back to a girl in a back-and-forth, tell her you guys should meet up for coffee or a drink, then ask for her number and/or give her yours and tell her to text you.
5) It's still a numbers game even if you get this far...many girls will flake at some point, it's just the nature of online dating. She'll never respond to your calls/texts, you'll make plans to meet for the first time and she'll cancel, etc. I've flaked as well (I'm a guy), it's just the way it goes.
6) If you can meet to do something casual but fun it's a huge plus. For example, a bar near me does trivia nights (including sex trivia), and I often try to get a girl to meet me there at that time. Then you sit right up close to her while you're writing the answers down together, tease her, give her a fake push when she gets an answer wrong, etc. Touch her as much as possible (but not in a creepy way - and don't put your arm around her or any nonsense like that). Find some excuse to take her hand and pretend to read her palm or whatever.
A good sense of humor and intelligence. And I mean a DAMN GOOD sense of humor. Someone with true wit, who doesn't get phased by anything, and can throw quips all back in one's face. I've never heard of a goth like that. Then again, I've rarely ever met a woman like that. Plus, the goth thing just doesn't appeal to me.
Unless I become asexual. Then I won't care.
And your definition of a "good sense of humour" is?
(I'm not being accusative or anything, I'm just curious, (as you may unfortunately be a little like me (except that I also have unrealistic expecations on a womans looks as well (more in the comparative sense. I fancy women that are normally "out of my league" as some shallow minded people put it...))))
I just defined it. She's skilled enough with wit and humor that it takes something a great deal insulting and horrible, the likes of which I would never say, to phase her, and anything else she can throw back with ease. And when I mean humor, because I know there are different types, I'm talking about someone who would laugh at the Marx Brothers or George Carlin or Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett(not necessarily those but you get the idea), not someone who sits in front of American Idol or a Youtube Poop and gets her kicks that way.
Oh, and I refuse to date anyone, ever, who likes Twilight. EVER. If that makes me shallow, TOO BAD. I don't care how nice she is, I don't care how hot she is. I don't care if she loves me more than life itself. Well, I would be respectful of her feelings, but I just despise that series so much that I question anyone who does like it. That's about my only real peeve though. I dunno, I guess it would depend.
First off, please don't view me as an exotic and fragile animal. Yes, all of us have some unique traits that would traditionally be classified as feminine. But all of us also have some unique traits that would traditionally be classified as masculine, and all of you have some traits that would traditionally be classified as feminine and masculine, so can we please stop saying things like "girls hate it when guys do xyz"?
Yes, some (or even most) girls will act a certain way in certain situations. But we don't have a "code" for you to crack. Honest. Just treat me like a person, be yourself, and don't make assumptions. Feminism is rocky ground, and it's easy to offend because of the many viewpoints out there. I get that. If your intentions are good, I'll forgive you for flubbing something. And if I don't, you probably don't want to date me, because that isn't a trait that's likely to go away.
Speaking personally, I appreciate traditional chivalry (opening doors, offering to pay), but I don't mind opening doors for myself or paying my half, especially if my date is a struggling artist (this happened a lot during college). I've also paid for dates. If you'll be dating for a long time, it will all merge together anyway. But I want it worked out before the date.
I used to hate when men would try to find excuses to touch or poke me during a date. They tried to act like it was playful, but it felt forced and intrusive, because I knew they would never act that way if we were just hanging out as friends. Some women might like it, though. I fell in love with my husband because it felt like we had been friends forever on our first date, and I was attracted to him. So it was like friends, plus physical attraction. I ended up asking HIM for a kiss.
You don't have to be tremendously hot for her to be physically attracted to you. You'd be surprised what individual women find attractive - and giving her your full attention goes a long way.
Hope this helps you get some.
I gave her my 3DS to play while she was on lunch, when I got it back the completley untouchable top screen was all mucky where she had been jabbing it trying to push buttons
So that's out the window then
Goth: That's unfortunate, I had
Geek: Are you kidding? I daresay a lot of geeks are exactly that way!
Foreigner: You know, everyone is foreigner for someone else...
Ah ah ah, made me laugh!
One of the best ways I heard to put that point
EDIT: Oh, BTW, I too have found my True Love (very healthy and healing just after a very unhealthy relationship) on the Intertubes
Not a dating site though, but on a social network dedicated to books. We began to chat and the rest happily followed
You're not hanging out as friends and that's exactly the trap men need to avoid falling into.
I think most of the time this is really really true!
Nonetheless, evidently there are also women like Cojo who prefers something different.
Again, people are different.
Trite as it is, I think on a date you should do what you feel apt, keeping of course open eyes for the reaction and feelings of your counterpart, because there's no single way to please anyone.
Me, I prefer a little smooth and progressive physical contact and avoid the Friend Valley, yes
EDIT: Oh, something I struggled with at the beginning, a long time ago: try to relax and be confident, but DO NOT try too hard and be over-confident, you'll probably end up looking cold and an arsehole. Be comfortable with yourself.
Again, some women like cold arseholes; but the point is: do you like women who likes cold arseholes?
(If you happen to actually be a cold arsehole, of course these are not the droids you're looking for :P)
Retro and his date are walking through a shopping mall to get to the cinema
ME: OH LOOK! A HMV! Lets go in
Woman: ...
Retro scans the titles, then after a minuite or two starts laughing
ME: HAHAHA! How pathetic, these used games are always good for a good laugh.
Look! Halo Reach is still £35! I can get that like £18 on the internet
Woman:
Retro quickly dahses off to the music section, and quickly scans the titles
ME: Still no Deep Purple albums at a sale price. The AC/DC albums are always on sale, what a jip!
Woman: :?
Retro quickly dashes off to the DVD section. His date being rather confused and disorientated by his sudden movements
ME: Man, I wish they would have some good boxsets here. I can never find a boxset at a good price, even on the internet.
Retro's date is just about to catch up, then he suddenly starts to leave
ME: Meh, I'm bored here, lets go.
Woman: :X
Just as Retro and his date leave...
ME: Oh look! A Game, come on, lets see if they got anything neat.
Woman: >:/
about 15 minuites of Retro dashing through the shops passes and he looks down at his watch
ME: GAH! The movie's about to start. Come on Come on!! We can still make it!
Woman: *sighs*
Eh eh eh
Two comments:
1) Don't go to a cinema on a first date. It would be nonsense and awkard. You need a nice place to chat and begin to know each other (so, no cinema, no too loud music, etc.)
2) My GF loves when I go mad about music and games and comics etc.!
Just do not ignore her for these thing, but try to involve her in your interests and be open to hers. (EDIT: If she actually can't stand your interests, she's probably not good for you.)
Treat a person as a person and things should just go from there.
2. Find a women who has some common interests, why not everything in common? Well to be honest you'd get bored with each other, and that ends up with cheating.
3. Make sure your friends approve, because well...Friends are Important too.
4. This goes along with #2. For the first date, try and find something interesting, that you both like doing. Like lunch at a museum, and or.. a movie that you both want to see.
5. Kissing should never be an important thing in a relationship...because well..you kiss to show affection and only do it..when you want to show affection, and Vice Versa.
6. If she's picky about her men, be picky about who you date. I am and well..I have a great girlfriend.
Now those are some of my rules, and I think good rules..but who knows everyone is different when it comes to dating. Just be yourself and they won't mind.