Goofus and Gallant

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Comments

  • edited May 2009
    Goofus runs around shirtless all the time, wearing boxing gloves and exclaiming "holy crap!"

    Gallant doesn't force his parents into debt from ordering expencive foods at resturants.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus runs his parents into debt by buying expensive, useless crap.

    Gallant washes his hands every time he finishes using the toilet.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus neither flushes the toilet nor washes his hands.

    Gallant is not a Communist.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus started the Cold War.

    Gallant does not drink while he drives.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus's liver is drowning in alcohol

    Gallant uses clean utensils to cook
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus works at Burger King.

    Gallant is taking a course in foreign languages.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus' language skills started most of the wars in known history.

    Gallant has strong muscles.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus has a strong pair of pants to handle his ridiculous obesity.

    Gallant cannot grasp the true form of Giygas' attack.
  • edited May 2009
    That's because Goofus just poured salt in Gallant's eyes.

    Gallant knows how to properly defend himself.
  • edited May 2009
    In the heat of battle, Goofus falls to the ground and starts crying for his mommy.

    Gallant cooks the food for his family.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus cooks his family

    Gallant tutors Goofus
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus ties a wooden board to his little brothers knee, so every time his brother takes a step, it lowers his SAT score.

    Gallant saves children in need of help.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus says "Well, they are just kids."

    Gallant washes his dog every now and then.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus has names for all of his dog's fleas.

    Gallant always wears his wrist strap while playing Wii.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus has gone through six TVs in the past month.

    Gallant turns the lights off when he leaves a room.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus causes 6 power blackouts a day.

    Gallant smiles at everyone he meets.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus swears at everyone he meets.

    Gallant can use PSI.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus can use PB&J.

    Gallant goes back through his tests after he finishes them to see if he made any errors.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus goes through Gallant's test to see if he made any errors.

    Gallant forgets about his trauma.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus causes most trauma

    Gallant works at a movie theater selling memorabilia
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus sells Gallant's memorabilia at a higher price to fat, sweaty, glasses-wearing fan-peoples.

    Gallant personally puts a piece of soap in his mouth when he swears, not that he does.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus has invented 7 of the thirteen bad words.

    Gallant doesn't give his friends heart attacks by scareing then while they're sleeping.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus usually wakes his friends and family by shaking them vigorously and shouting "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

    Gallant says "Excuse me" whenever he burps or passes gas.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus says "BWAHAHAHA! I AM SCREWING THE ECOSYSTEM!"

    Gallant entertains himself when he is trapped on a satellite in space being forced to watch crappy movies.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus doesn't get that reference

    Gallant doesn't kill Spy-Crabs
  • edited May 2009
  • edited May 2009
    (I know the reference I'm just making a joke)
  • edited May 2009


    Goofus says, "Screw you! Find it out yourself!!"

    Gallant cleans his ears so his iPod headphones don't get all earwaxy.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus steals Gallants earphones to put them in his ears. And just so you know... Goofus is the leading producer of Earwax.

    If Gallant had a time machine in his possesion, he would solve problems.
    (Sorry if I'm breaking rules, but Goofus would do things like this. (Note this was caused, not made.) MOTHER 3 SPOILER WARNING!)
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus is also known as Biff Tannen.

    Gallant is willing to accept and consider other people's theories about TV shows/movies, however stupid they may be.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus is thought of an opinion Nazi.

    Gallant does...good things? Running out of brain fuel here.
  • edited May 2009
    Goofus messes them up

    Gallant gives someguyfromazoo some brain fuel
  • edited June 2009
    goofus gives someguyfromazoo some FOSSIL fuel

    gallant always eats his veggies
  • edited June 2009
    Goofus doesn't, nor does he eat meat. He is what they call "a Twinkietarian."

    Gallant has a college education.
  • edited June 2009
    goofus is only educated by that site with made-up dust bunny facts

    gallant reads 8-bit theater
  • edited June 2009
    Goofus makes pornographic fan art of Kid Radd.

    Gallant keeps up to date with all of his favorite webcomix.
  • edited June 2009
    Goofus reads his favorite comics backwards.

    If Gallant's sister was captured by a witch, Gallant would save her at all costs. Eve if this meant going through haunted mansions, A toilet, an oil ship, a winter world, witch doctor changing him into various animals and items,and a Board Game where you get questions right or DIE. (COOKIE FOR WHO GETS THE REFERENCE.)
  • edited June 2009
    Goofus doesn't get that reference.

    Gallant buys eco-friendly equipment.
  • edited June 2009
    Goofus uses the ocean as his personal Nuclear waste dump

    Gallant tries not to ninja someone on forums
  • edited June 2009
    Gallant uses his N1NJ4 SK1LLS!! to kill people with bricks.

    Gallant doesn't demand rare to release Banjo Threeie.

    Also:
    If Gallant's sister was captured by a witch, Gallant would save her at all costs. Eve if this meant going through haunted mansions, A toilet, an oil ship, a winter world, witch doctor changing him into various animals and items,and a Board Game where you get questions right or DIE. (COOKIE FOR WHO GETS THE REFERENCE.)

    That's the main plot of Banjo Kazooie.
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