Monkey Island 5 SUCKS!

Everyone is talking about Monkey Island 1-4, but few remember to mention fan-favorite "Monkey Island 5". This epic, 40-hour super experience is heralded for having all the features anyone who hates episodes could ever want.

But really, was it all that great?

First of all, it's just a re-tread of everything that has come before. Oh, have to get near-useless crew. How original. Banishing LeChuck's latest form, though admittedly this has become more of a series staple, I thought that they could have come up with better than a "glowy" Zombie LeChuck. I mean, really, what was up with that?

The ending was non-existent! We spend a HUGE chunk of this 40-hour game crafting the Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu. We found AGAIN all of these items that were in the other games, from a voodoo doll to the Ultimate Insult(ugh) to defeat LeChuck. And when we find all but the fizzy root beer...the game just ends. Abruptly. I mean, we didn't even get a conclusion until recently in Tales of that story. And while it was an epic ending, to be sure, wouldn't it have been more fitting to leave it in its own game? Surely Monkey Island 5 wouldn't have suffered so much if it didn't completely lack an ending.

Why did we have to go to so much trouble to get a monkey coffin, anyway? It wasn't used in the course of Monkey Island 5, so what is the point of that anyway?

And LeChuck stealing monkies? It's a bit hard to swallow, and this is for a series that can get pretty thick in shtick.

Speaking of LeChuck, even *I* can't believe how he ended up surviving the ending of Escape from Monkey Island.

Monkey Island 5 is a HUGE game, that's to be sure. But if one is to go by quality rather than quantity, it's obvious that it is a severe failure compared to Tales of Monkey Island already.

Yes, this is a play on the whole "After Monkey Island 5" business. Sue me.
«134567

Comments

  • edited July 2009
    Awesome post, shocked me a bit before I got what it was about :D
  • edited July 2009
    Ah! Ah! Ah! :D:D
  • edited July 2009
    Oh the troubles I had digging up that Monkey coffin.
    Winning thread indeed.
  • edited July 2009
    I've played just the demo till now, so can anyone say me: Are there in this game funny references to Monkey Island 5, just like the cool references to Leisure Suit Larry 4 in Leisure Suit Larry 5?
  • edited July 2009
    Nope! Leaves everything to the player's imagination
  • edited July 2009
    It took me forever to figure out that I was suppose to use JoJo the Third on Doctor Madison's Magnetic Device to transform him into a Magnetic Monkey, which could then be given to the Pirate with a Pacemaker. Hilarity ensues, of course, but all that we get for our trouble is a lousy old Pirate Hat.

    And then, Herman Toothrot came close to revealing the true Secret of Monkey Island™, but we all know what happened to him before he could.
  • edited July 2009
    what are you talking about? Monkey Island 5? Fan game? where? I'm confused
  • edited July 2009
    Wait, you haven't heard of it ?
    And you consider yourself a MI fan ?

    Well. It was pretty bad anyway, so you haven't missed much. Bet you missed a lot of in jokes in Tales because of this, tho..
  • edited July 2009
    Astro... Astro... aren't you the guy from the italian MI forums?
  • edited July 2009
    although i agree it was overall disappointing, it did have some of the high points of the series in my opinion... lechucks posessed can can dance anyone?

    also loved the monkey wedding.
  • edited July 2009
    I'm not saying I'm a "fan" as in extremely obsessed, but I do like monkey island.. I googled a bit and I didn't find anything.. where can I find this?
  • edited July 2009
    Astro... Astro... aren't you the guy from the italian MI forums?

    Nope, sorry. Only itialian words i know would be spaghetti and Bella Ciao (not even sure if i spelled that right).
    I hope nobody stole my beloved and silly nickname :eek:

    and to pretender... Reread the first post carefully, you'll get it ;)
  • edited July 2009
    Lol man, the entire post's a joke, he was trying to figure out what happened BEFORE the TOMI intro :) Don't take it seriously
  • edited July 2009
    I can't believe people are neglecting the worst part. Whose dumb idea was it to put in the first person shooting levels, with spit as your only weapon?
  • edited July 2009
    Nope, sorry. Only itialian words i know would be spaghetti and Bella Ciao (not even sure if i spelled that right).
    I hope nobody stole my beloved and silly nickname :eek:

    Lol!!!
  • edited July 2009
    Ahh I think you're being too harsh TBH. That whole puzzle with the possesed porcelain pirates was inspired!! I can't believe all you had to do was wait for Guybrush to go to his happy place.

    Did anyone else get that glitch with the sad music and the possesed Gibbon when you asked about LOOMtm?
  • VainamoinenVainamoinen Moderator
    edited July 2009
    MI5 was pretty lame, it's true. I did like controls and graphics better than ToMI, though. The game had a more epic feel to it, and it wasn't just the game length (40 hours is assumed if you're really good, I spent more like 60-70 hours on it). I know the minigames are often criticised in this one, but I liked the sea battles far better than the CMI ones.
  • edited July 2009
    Whose dumb idea was it to put in the first person shooting levels, with spit as your only weapon?

    This would actually be awesome :D
  • edited July 2009
    Pretender wrote: »
    I'm not saying I'm a "fan" as in extremely obsessed, but I do like monkey island.. I googled a bit and I didn't find anything.. where can I find this?
    It's a joke thread. There's no real Monkey Island 5.
  • edited July 2009
    It's not often you have to read the end of a post before you start reading it.
  • edited July 2009
    I understand that they couldn't get Denny Delk back to play Murray, but Adam West seemed like an odd casting choice.
  • edited July 2009
    The grossest part was by far scraping the Ultimate Insult off the top of LeChuck's giant statue head (that, for those uninformed, had somehow ended up taking the giant monkey head's place on Monkey Island).
  • edited July 2009
    I almost gave up when I had to dance the Hula with that horrible EMI-like keyboard control.
    Whose silly idea was it, buy the way, that you had to steal Wally's socks and to use them on the zombie rats? Not to mention the jungle labyrinth with the demon monkeys. One wrong move and you had to start from the beginning. Took me two days.
  • edited July 2009
    And they got Stan's jacket effect completely backwards! Stan was flat and static, and the plaid pattern kept jumping around!
  • edited July 2009
    Monkey Island 5 is the best monkey island okay! sure it needed the rock band controller in that one puzzle (a homage to MI3), and needed the 3-d glasses to get the monkey head, but the game was awesome! And really epic! I deleted everything on my 80 GB back-up drive just to install it! But what a joy it was! (And i really liked the fact that the manual smelled like monkey doo doo...nice touch lucasarts!)
  • TeaTea
    edited July 2009
    Examine Mode On
    Click on Cutless of Kaflu
    "You won't believe the adventures I went through to make this thing..."
  • edited July 2009
    if lucasart ever gets to make some new MI game, i actually kinda hope they'll nick a few ideas from this thread :D
  • edited July 2009
    Geez, why do so many people hate MI5? I think it was awesome and had so many great ideas! LeChucks base on the mars was a brilliant Zak McKracken reference!
  • VainamoinenVainamoinen Moderator
    edited July 2009
    Of course, but did Guybrush REALLY have to actually MEET Zak? That was a little too much crossover for me.
  • edited July 2009
    It was untitled " Monkey Island Chapter 5, LeChuck strikes back" and yet I really didn't expect to learn that LeChuck was Guybrush's father
  • edited July 2009
    Aw c'mon! I loved it! The part with the ice-breathing accountant is amazing!
  • edited July 2009
    I must admit I kinda liked the part where you get back to the new Big Whoop World theme park, especially the puzzle where you need to defeat the Voodoo Priest aboard the ship-dodgems to get the cursed voodoo doll. That was epic.

    And to see LeChuck made a screaming chair out of Ozzy Mandrill... Priceless :)
  • edited July 2009
    I don't care how bad some parts were in that game, nothing could eve be as scarring as the sex scene between Guybrush and Elaine. And what the hell were up with those options; push harder, go softer, have a premature....well I'm sure you guys all remember because I'm still trying to forget.
  • edited July 2009
    Damn darknessofheart, I think your pseudo is all backward :s
    You should be more careful, that's some bad disease. I'd take an appointment with Le Marquis de Singe if I were you ;)
  • edited July 2009
    Thogreg wrote: »
    Damn darknessofheart, I think your pseudo is all backward :s
    You should be more careful, that's some bad disease. I'd take an appointment with Le Marquis de Singe if I were you ;)

    Yeah, no thanks lol.
  • edited July 2009
    Who got stuck on the Grow-your-own-ship puzzle? At least I could get it out of its bottle...
  • edited July 2009
    I really hated the Guybrush-Elaine sex scene too. Did we really need that? Also, I really, REALLY hated the part where they added "Monkey Kombat II." I thought they learned from their mistakes!

    Dammit, this is making me so angry just thinking about that game. It's so bad it makes Escape from Monkey Island look like LeChuck's Revenge!
  • edited July 2009
    What was that bit where Guybrush went into space?? Did anybody REALLY feel that fitted in with the rest of the game?
  • Honestly, after all the bad reviews, I just skipped this game.

    Anybody have the screenshots?
  • edited July 2009
    As much as I appreciate the idea of shirtless Guybrush, what the heck did they do with him in that game? He looked more like a dwarf. Why were all the characters so ugly?
    The music wasn't as good as in the other games, too. In fact it was horrible. They also could have chosen better actors for the voices. Not to mention the poor audio quality.
    So ugly graphics, terrible sounds and senseless illogical puzzles. Why, I wonder, did the game need 10 Gigs of hard disk space?
    Don't even ask me about the German version. The translation was so bad that the dialogs didn't make any sense at all. Not that they did make much sense in the English version... The German voices, well, better don't ask. In the German version they also cut 'that' scene between Guybrush and Elaine, but I should be glad for that.
    How did you solve the puzzle where you had to get the laxative and put it into Captain Thunderspit's grog? Not only was it pixel-hunting, it also took me ages to figure out that I had to put the vampire squirrel into Kenny's shoe to get the key to the fitness center first.
Sign in to comment in this discussion.