Yeah ... I have yet to enjoy being groped. To have someone feel that they have the right to ignore my personal space and privacy just isn't fun for me.
Oh, come on. When has anything on this forum been serious. I was joking.
I actually meant when you're intimate with someone, and they start touching, that's when the brain-functions really start to bail.
I also thought they didn't want nice guys, because their boyfriends were mostly arrogant bastards.
Pretty sure this is true. Because indeed; they always do that (and then whine your head of about how badly the guy treats them... WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?)
I don't think I can look at women inconspicuously. I also imagine having the same effect on them as a big fat spider: either they scream and run, or walk by very fast pretending not to see me.
I think women want a nice guy but they're involuntarily attracted to "bad boys". At a young age, anyway. Otherwise I'd have had a girlfriend when I was a teenager...
Also, I've never understood womens' fascination with men baring their forearms. I always imagine those men thinking, "Look at my arms, see how big and muscular and hairy they are, come to me and let my arms embrace you."
Wait, there is a woman's fascination for that? I always thought I was weird to like it when a guy rolls up his sleeve xD. Although, I can't talk for anyone else, but big, muscular forearms don't do it for me, at all. Even huge upper arms are not that great, but the forearms really shouldn't look muscular.
Pretty sure this is true. Because indeed; they always do that (and then whine your head of about how badly the guy treats them... WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?)
It's funny, because I often have that conversation with my girlfriends, about how guys like b*tches, and you always find nice guys with women who order them around, and when you try to be nice they just don't notice you, or you become the "friend" or "one of the guys".
But as soon as you're leading them on, then they're all interested, they seem to go "oh, that's a woman!"
And then they complain that women are annoying, but we've all experimented it: the second you become annoying and act like you don't care about them at all, the second guys become interested in you and nice with you. When you're nice and normal and all they just take you for granted I guess.
Maybe it's not a man/woman thing. Maybe nice people are just attracted to jerks. Or maybe it's just that we're more attracted to people who aren't attracted to us. Because of the challenge or something?
I remember talking about that, too. How the second you're in love, you're going to act in stupid ways and compromise your chances of ever being with that person. While if you don't love someone you just act normally and increase the chance of them liking you.
I wonder if it's linked to the fact you reject their advances.
Anyway, I think we can all agree that people are weird.
I think nice people don't often date nice people because neither of them wants to pressure the other person. "Gee, I really like her, but since she isn't throwing herself at me she probably doesn't like me like that. I suppose I'm ok with just being friends. I don't want to risk the friendship by pressing the matter."
Whereas the jerky people aren't satisfied with being friends so they throw themselves into it, thinking it's all or nothing.
I think nice people don't often date nice people because neither of them wants to pressure the other person. "Gee, I really like her, but since she isn't throwing herself at me she probably doesn't like me like that. I suppose I'm ok with just being friends. I don't want to risk the friendship by pressing the matter."
Whereas the jerky people aren't satisfied with being friends so they throw themselves into it, thinking it's all or nothing.
That's possible too. Nice people might be more shy.
Which makes me a not nice person I guess I always thought, I'd rather ask and be turned down than not ask and wonder for the rest of my life.
That didn't turn out great since I was turned down every single time
Anyway, I was just thinking, it's also possible that things are being assumed. When you like someone, you tend to think the world of them. Which makes it hard to believe they're single, too. And if they're not, then you shouldn't put them in the position of having to turn you down. While if you're a jerk maybe you don't care?
Nice people tend to think the best of others, give them the benefit of the doubt, and forgive easily. Those qualities (though commendable) are probably not helpful when it comes to dating jerks.
A nice girl spent 6 years with a guy who, in hindsight, had a horrible nasty streak. It's not that she was looking for a jerk, or that she was attracted to jerk-ish qualities - she was just really young and didn't know any better.
This guy would put her down all the time, tell her she was stupid, tell her "you only got your scholarship because you've got tits", was very controlling, didn't like her seeing her family. Looking back now, I wonder if to some extent he saw her as a threat/adversary to his own ego, and putting her down made himself feel better.
There were obviously good things about that guy too - he was clever and sexy and devilishly funny, and they worked on the same mental wavelength (they made an unbeatable Pictionary team). But yeah, as the girl grew up a bit and her life experience broadened, eventually she realised that the good things just weren't enough to make up for the nasty things.
Nice people tend to think the best of others, give them the benefit of the doubt, and forgive easily. Those qualities (though commendable) are probably not helpful when it comes to dating jerks.
A nice girl spent 6 years with a guy who, in hindsight, had a horrible nasty streak. It's not that she was looking for a jerk, or that she was attracted to jerk-ish qualities - she was just really young and didn't know any better.
This guy would put her down all the time, tell her she was stupid, tell her "you only got your scholarship because you've got tits", was very controlling, didn't like her seeing her family. Looking back now, I wonder if to some extent he saw her as a threat/adversary to his own ego, and putting her down made himself feel better.
There were obviously good things about that guy too - he was clever and sexy and devilishly funny, and they worked on the same mental wavelength (they made an unbeatable Pictionary team). But yeah, as the girl grew up a bit and her life experience broadened, eventually she realised that the good things just weren't enough to make up for the nasty things.
I'm sensing this is autobiographical, but in a third person narrative?
Actually, a lot of folks here on the forum are like me.
I always thought girls weren't that into me, that they liked all the "cool" kids.
Just the recent years I've been discovering that girls actually like me.
And in hindsight, they've liked me ever since the 7th grade, I just didn't see it.
Low self image I guess.
Puzzlebox, didn't your parents ever have that talk with you about using really weak puns? It's a gateway bad joke, puzzlebox. Oh sure, it seems like harmless fun, but before you know it...*sigh*
You'll have moved on to harder stuff. Eventually, you'll find yourself making comic strips about how cats are fat and like to sleep, and you'll have no idea where your life went wrong...
Its funny that if I met Avistew in real life I would have a better chance recognizing her by her bust than by her face.... and it wouldn't even be my fault.
Its funny that if I met Avistew in real life I would have a better chance recognizing her by her bust than by her face.... and it wouldn't even be my fault.
That's okay, a lot of people who have first met me in person recognise my chest faster than my face, too.
My first thought at avistew's pic, "Oh! I have a shirt like that, only in purple! It's so versatile."
Second thought, "Wait, why is she showing off clothes on the ... oh, right."
I'd like to say though, I've known lots of nice people who dated/married nice people. I've also known lots of nice people who dated obvious jerkwads, probably because the "nice" people had low self-esteem and the jerks acted like they were strong and confident. I think that's where the attraction lay.
I also think "nice" guys do themselves in, in a way. I mean, if you're interested in me, talk to me, don't silently follow me around the store or coffee shop. It kind of sends confusing signals. I don't know if you're trying to ask me out or are planning to mug me in the parking lot.
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I actually meant when you're intimate with someone, and they start touching, that's when the brain-functions really start to bail.
I find this funny because (as a girl) I've always thought that all the nice guys already had girlfriends.
Pff, I wish...
It would make things a whole lot easier if everyone just had a sign saying whether they're available or not....
It still wouldn't tell if they were interested or not, but it would atleast make it a lot easier already...
Wait, there is a woman's fascination for that? I always thought I was weird to like it when a guy rolls up his sleeve xD. Although, I can't talk for anyone else, but big, muscular forearms don't do it for me, at all. Even huge upper arms are not that great, but the forearms really shouldn't look muscular.
It's funny, because I often have that conversation with my girlfriends, about how guys like b*tches, and you always find nice guys with women who order them around, and when you try to be nice they just don't notice you, or you become the "friend" or "one of the guys".
But as soon as you're leading them on, then they're all interested, they seem to go "oh, that's a woman!"
And then they complain that women are annoying, but we've all experimented it: the second you become annoying and act like you don't care about them at all, the second guys become interested in you and nice with you. When you're nice and normal and all they just take you for granted I guess.
Maybe it's not a man/woman thing. Maybe nice people are just attracted to jerks. Or maybe it's just that we're more attracted to people who aren't attracted to us. Because of the challenge or something?
I remember talking about that, too. How the second you're in love, you're going to act in stupid ways and compromise your chances of ever being with that person. While if you don't love someone you just act normally and increase the chance of them liking you.
I wonder if it's linked to the fact you reject their advances.
Anyway, I think we can all agree that people are weird.
Whereas the jerky people aren't satisfied with being friends so they throw themselves into it, thinking it's all or nothing.
That's possible too. Nice people might be more shy.
Which makes me a not nice person I guess
That didn't turn out great since I was turned down every single time
Anyway, I was just thinking, it's also possible that things are being assumed. When you like someone, you tend to think the world of them. Which makes it hard to believe they're single, too. And if they're not, then you shouldn't put them in the position of having to turn you down. While if you're a jerk maybe you don't care?
A nice girl spent 6 years with a guy who, in hindsight, had a horrible nasty streak. It's not that she was looking for a jerk, or that she was attracted to jerk-ish qualities - she was just really young and didn't know any better.
This guy would put her down all the time, tell her she was stupid, tell her "you only got your scholarship because you've got tits", was very controlling, didn't like her seeing her family. Looking back now, I wonder if to some extent he saw her as a threat/adversary to his own ego, and putting her down made himself feel better.
There were obviously good things about that guy too - he was clever and sexy and devilishly funny, and they worked on the same mental wavelength (they made an unbeatable Pictionary team). But yeah, as the girl grew up a bit and her life experience broadened, eventually she realised that the good things just weren't enough to make up for the nasty things.
I'm sensing this is autobiographical, but in a third person narrative?
Actually, a lot of folks here on the forum are like me.
I always thought girls weren't that into me, that they liked all the "cool" kids.
Just the recent years I've been discovering that girls actually like me.
And in hindsight, they've liked me ever since the 7th grade, I just didn't see it.
Low self image I guess.
Thank you very much...
You'll have moved on to harder stuff. Eventually, you'll find yourself making comic strips about how cats are fat and like to sleep, and you'll have no idea where your life went wrong...
Let me tell you where it went wrong, puzzlebox.
The turning point...
WAS TODAY.
STOP IT.
No, wait, I think I did it wrong...
Does that make me gay?
No. It easy to get used to good stuff
I think most people here are past the stage of effective rehabilitation.
Seconded.
Wow, we even think alike.
If I said you had a magnificent chest would you hold it against me?
BADUM TISH!
That's okay, a lot of people who have first met me in person recognise my chest faster than my face, too.
(Or I just don't know you... nah, asshole is more likely)
Second thought, "Wait, why is she showing off clothes on the ... oh, right."
I'd like to say though, I've known lots of nice people who dated/married nice people. I've also known lots of nice people who dated obvious jerkwads, probably because the "nice" people had low self-esteem and the jerks acted like they were strong and confident. I think that's where the attraction lay.
I also think "nice" guys do themselves in, in a way. I mean, if you're interested in me, talk to me, don't silently follow me around the store or coffee shop. It kind of sends confusing signals. I don't know if you're trying to ask me out or are planning to mug me in the parking lot.