I would cry, but ducks have no tear ducts. That was the best story ever written about me. Granted, it's the ONLY written story about me, but that doesn't take anything away from the glory that it is. And when you compile these into a collection of short stories and they become a New York Times Bestseller, the Church of Pravetz and the Latter Day Cookies shall find new members everywhere! Now leave me. I must think. I will come up with the BEST scenarios to test your wit. I shall return.
Haggis, a request. When you post a new story, and you have the last post in this thread, go ahead and make a new post, rather than editing the last one. Post edits don't bump the thread, and I would have missed out on a few stories (including the one inspired by me!) if I hadn't realized what you were doing. Some people don't like multiple posts in a row, which makes sense when people are doing it to be annoying or just to increase their post count, but I think it's OK when the purpose is to let people know there's an update since yesterday.
Haggis, a request. When you post a new story, and you have the last post in this thread, go ahead and make a new post, rather than editing the last one. Post edits don't bump the thread, and I would have missed out on a few stories (including the one inspired by me!) if I hadn't realized what you were doing. Some people don't like multiple posts in a row, which makes sense when people are doing it to be annoying or just to increase their post count, but I think it's OK when the purpose is to let people know there's an update since yesterday.
I agree with this. I am, as we all know, a double-post-aphobe, but in this case it seems fine. Go for it mate!
Also. This is your mission, if you choose to accept it.
The Main Character
A Schizophrenic Racist with Delusions of Grandeur
The Love Interest
A Yellow Cow that can only say "Ribbit"
Other Items
A Green Balloon
A Dead Hamster
Three Gold Doubloons
Guess it's time for another pitch from me, using my format from the first page of three lines of dialogue, two props, and a basic premise/setting, but I won't specify which is which this time. Except for the premise thing.
-A large whale.
-A Black Hole The Size of Switzerland
-King Arthur's Court
-A Revolver
-A Dumpster in an Alleyway
Premise: Everything is going wrong, and only Mild Mannered Jay Jasonson can save the day (if he can escape the chainsaw murderer's wrath, that is)!
I've really enjoyed reading these. Can I have a turn, Please?
Yes, of course, everyone is welcome here! Just keep in mind it could take a bit until I get to your suggestion, since I'm doing them all in order. But I will write a story for every prompt submitted!
It turned out to be rather disturbing, but that's mostly TomPravetz' fault for coming up with those weird concepts.
I think I love you. Now I must think some more! >:-D
Hmm...
The Setting:
-A quiet, happy family reunion in a nice town.
The Family:
-Papa: A kind man who makes his living as a banker.
-Ma: A stay-at-home mother who's sweet as molasses.
-Petey: The youngest of the children, and a bit of a loose cannon.
-Lily: The oldest of the children, loves horses and her boyfriend too.
-Ben: The middle child. Suffers from severe depression and hyperactivity.
-Grandpapa: Runs a local charity to help puppies with Tourette's Syndrome
-Grandmama: Passed away three years ago, is there in the hearts of everyone
-Francisco: The pool boy. Is only there because he is the best cook.
-Kyle: Lily's boyfriend. Has a puppy with Tourette's.
The Twist:
-
They all die at the end. But not by "poisoned food" or anything that will just drop them all quickly. Preferably they all die in different ways, but still in the time-frame of one hour. Feel free to ask me questions if this isn't clear enough.
A story with all these elements: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Acj4g9p6Dwo
Pick 2 They Might Be Giants songs. Take 5 sentences from their lyrics (2 from one, 3 from the other), and work them in the story (but don't directly make a reference to it). They can be either part of the narration or a character's dialogue.
Also, at least ONE reference to a Spielberg movie (but not a sci-fi one).
A bunch of video game characters playing Texas Hold 'Em in a secret underground club. Oh, wait.
The landscape has changed. The year is 2200. Sea levels have risen. Computers got clever enough not just to become autonomous but also to drive humans almost to extinction (due to a complete collapse in the world economy and a coup for natural resources). Man is no longer the top of the food chain in the animal kingdom. Everything that was mechanised by the turn of the millennium is wired into the Hub. One man realises what he must do: finish off the remainder of the human race to cease their suffering.
(Besides, I'm curious about ted12 being called Haggis as well... what's up with that?)
Oh my good dear word, Haggis, that made me laugh out loud a few times! It reminded me moderately of Hitchhikers.
...and that's my queue to submit yet another one!
Below are three sub-sections, one shall have both traits listed included in the story, one shall have only one, and the last section can use either one or two. You can choose which sub-section is used in which way.
-A Dinosaur Destroying a Community
-A Giant Game of Chess
-New York City During the Great Depression
-A Daytime Talk Show hosted by Large Wasps who only speak Portugese
- Eldritch Abomination / Cosmic Horror
- Romantic comedy
- On the set of Jeopardy
Play it as straight as possible, meaning, the romantic comedy element should not be played as some form of parody but as an actual romantic comedy, and there actually should be a cosmic horror, Cthulhu style, either as a love interest or as an actual being of horror which brings the two lovers closer to each other. The last one especially would be hard without letting it devolve into straight-up horror and without letting the cosmic horror element down, although the former would be very challenging to let it be both romantic and comedic without making it feel like some parody.
the story must include:
- the line: "Uschi, I love you, I want a child from you" (it has to be said by a girl, by the way)
-Pepsi has to play a major role
-a minimum of 3 chuck norris facts
-Aaaannnd ... um... the word "Isoprophylprofimilbabitursourphenyldementylaminophyrazolon"
While you are working on your pending stories, I'll come here with a fairly easy storyline.
- Situation: Alien invasion
- Premise: How Earth's stupidity completely averts and obliterates an alien invasion
- The aliens are immune to Earth's diseases
Comments
I would cry, but ducks have no tear ducts. That was the best story ever written about me. Granted, it's the ONLY written story about me, but that doesn't take anything away from the glory that it is. And when you compile these into a collection of short stories and they become a New York Times Bestseller, the Church of Pravetz and the Latter Day Cookies shall find new members everywhere! Now leave me. I must think. I will come up with the BEST scenarios to test your wit. I shall return.
Umm. I mean... /quack
Anyway, here's a new story! http://bouffonbooks.com/2011/10/14/the-party/
I agree with this. I am, as we all know, a double-post-aphobe, but in this case it seems fine. Go for it mate!
Also. This is your mission, if you choose to accept it.
The Main Character
A Schizophrenic Racist with Delusions of Grandeur
The Love Interest
A Yellow Cow that can only say "Ribbit"
Other Items
A Green Balloon
A Dead Hamster
Three Gold Doubloons
Consider this your official licence to double post!
That was awesome! You got there charecters perfect. And Hastings said I say! XD
-Necromancy
-Pittsburg
Haha, yes, it's pretty much his catchphrase. Hugh Fraser did an awesome job bringing him to life in the TV series, by the way.
Oh, and here's another story: http://bouffonbooks.com/2011/10/16/confession/
(By the way, thanks for the appreciation everyone, it really means a lot!)
Finish the story.
You are really far too good.
Guess it's time for another pitch from me, using my format from the first page of three lines of dialogue, two props, and a basic premise/setting, but I won't specify which is which this time. Except for the premise thing.
-A large whale.
-A Black Hole The Size of Switzerland
-King Arthur's Court
-A Revolver
-A Dumpster in an Alleyway
Premise: Everything is going wrong, and only Mild Mannered Jay Jasonson can save the day (if he can escape the chainsaw murderer's wrath, that is)!
-Panic
-Acceptance
Consider this your official licence to double post!
Darn it, puzzlebox!! Y RU so fast?!
I know, I know, because you're brilliant. I actually just came here to challenge my friend again!
Ahem....
*drumroll*
Universe: My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic
Subject: You (Haggis) meet Twilight Sparkle.
MUAHAHAHAHAAHAAAA!!
(that's for kicking my butt at Garry's Mod)
"And what does the library have to do with this, again?"
"dammit, where did I leave her?"
"Shut up, Max. I know I parked the time machine right here!"
Also here's a new story: http://bouffonbooks.com/2011/10/20/the-school-lunch/
Funeral
Sail boat
Rainbow
Yikes!
...I mean, I'm not scared of you, old man!
You...you are older than me, right?
Yesh, now hand me my walking shtick, boy.
Oh, and here's another story: http://bouffonbooks.com/2011/10/22/adolfo-and-the-cow/
It turned out to be rather disturbing, but that's mostly TomPravetz' fault for coming up with those weird concepts.
I think I love you. Now I must think some more! >:-D
Hmm...
The Setting:
-A quiet, happy family reunion in a nice town.
The Family:
-Papa: A kind man who makes his living as a banker.
-Ma: A stay-at-home mother who's sweet as molasses.
-Petey: The youngest of the children, and a bit of a loose cannon.
-Lily: The oldest of the children, loves horses and her boyfriend too.
-Ben: The middle child. Suffers from severe depression and hyperactivity.
-Grandpapa: Runs a local charity to help puppies with Tourette's Syndrome
-Grandmama: Passed away three years ago, is there in the hearts of everyone
-Francisco: The pool boy. Is only there because he is the best cook.
-Kyle: Lily's boyfriend. Has a puppy with Tourette's.
The Twist:
-
Pick 2 They Might Be Giants songs. Take 5 sentences from their lyrics (2 from one, 3 from the other), and work them in the story (but don't directly make a reference to it). They can be either part of the narration or a character's dialogue.
Also, at least ONE reference to a Spielberg movie (but not a sci-fi one).
The landscape has changed. The year is 2200. Sea levels have risen. Computers got clever enough not just to become autonomous but also to drive humans almost to extinction (due to a complete collapse in the world economy and a coup for natural resources). Man is no longer the top of the food chain in the animal kingdom. Everything that was mechanised by the turn of the millennium is wired into the Hub. One man realises what he must do: finish off the remainder of the human race to cease their suffering.
- Guitarists
- Wager
- Pie
No, I mean we should lessen the bombardment.
Nah, he can take it!
Besides, it's a really good exercise for him. Like I do with tributes.
Sooo why are you called Haggis? I mean, what's with the line under your username?
And here's a new one! http://bouffonbooks.com/2011/10/28/inside-out/
(Besides, I'm curious about ted12 being called Haggis as well... what's up with that?)
Oh my good dear word, Haggis, that made me laugh out loud a few times! It reminded me moderately of Hitchhikers.
...and that's my queue to submit yet another one!
Below are three sub-sections, one shall have both traits listed included in the story, one shall have only one, and the last section can use either one or two. You can choose which sub-section is used in which way.
-A Dinosaur Destroying a Community
-A Giant Game of Chess
-New York City During the Great Depression
-A Daytime Talk Show hosted by Large Wasps who only speak Portugese
-The Letter 'j'
-The Word 'the'
Anyway, here's a new story! http://bouffonbooks.com/2011/11/01/my-head/
- Eldritch Abomination / Cosmic Horror
- Romantic comedy
- On the set of Jeopardy
Play it as straight as possible, meaning, the romantic comedy element should not be played as some form of parody but as an actual romantic comedy, and there actually should be a cosmic horror, Cthulhu style, either as a love interest or as an actual being of horror which brings the two lovers closer to each other. The last one especially would be hard without letting it devolve into straight-up horror and without letting the cosmic horror element down, although the former would be very challenging to let it be both romantic and comedic without making it feel like some parody.
Good luck, soldier! Make me proud!
the story must include:
- the line: "Uschi, I love you, I want a child from you" (it has to be said by a girl, by the way)
-Pepsi has to play a major role
-a minimum of 3 chuck norris facts
-Aaaannnd ... um... the word "Isoprophylprofimilbabitursourphenyldementylaminophyrazolon"
Good luck, dude!
...I'm gonna kill you.
- Situation: Alien invasion
- Premise: How Earth's stupidity completely averts and obliterates an alien invasion
- The aliens are immune to Earth's diseases