Oh, yeah? Well, I crush you with said bowl, and I mix your crushed remains with everything else and make a smoothie. I give it to Pizzapuma, he drinks it, and gets electrocuted to death.
I give you the Swan Flu, (no relation to h1n1) and throw you into an indestructible and sharp ceiling fan in a force field that you cannot escape. Due to this situation, you are torn to pieces.
The Super Sheep don't explode, so I make a nice wool coat out of them, making a Super Coat. I then find you and smother you with the coat, suffocating and killing you.
I use my portable VAC cheat detecting system, which finds you guilty of cheating, therefore banning you... FROM LIFE. You disintegrate and I kill other people happily ever after.
I fire my evil atomic hamsters at you. They instantly gnaw you to death. Then, for good measure, I aim my trans-dimensional psychic monkey, who came into this universe for no particular reason, at your head and it whisks you away into another dimension. Where you die. Instantly.
I give snicklin to a dog, who dies later of cyanide poisoning, jump into the completed, escapable Absolutely Safe Capsule afterwards, and will hide in there until the thread dies.
WOO MOTHER 3 REFERENCING!
i give you a vile of murcury, which you then play with with your bare hands. kind of a stupid idea, huh? you die of murcury poisoning. then somehow turn into a battery. then i step on you and you explode but um... i don't... die... somehow... mabey i like, can bend space and time and i teleport away... that would be pretty awesome if i could!
guess that refrance! (it's the space and time part not the murcury or battery part, just so ya know.)
I make you disappear form this dimension and appear in your own mental state with my psychological and telekinetic powers. Because I altered your mental subconscious and made the only thing you can think of is you getting killed by a giant spike falling at thousands of miles per hour out of the sky, it becomes a reality in your mind, therefore shutting down your mental state, and later your entire brain, killing you in this dimension in which you can never return.
welltoobadicomeback. i get reincarnated in that mental state just like in a video game. Since i can bend space and time (and apperently reality) i teliport into this dimention just before the giant spike kills me again...
But because you are still blinded by the thought of yourself getting killed by a spike, you focus all of your telekinetic and space-time altering powers on yourself, turning yourself inside out and freezing yourself in time for eternity.
A giant Dragon magically engsmsplodes from the sky, grabs you in its claws, tosses you in its mouth, and swallows you whole. You sit in its belly for three days while its stomach acids quite slowly break you down, you being completely aware of your surroundings. As you bang on the walls of the fleshy cavern, you can't help but wonder if you could have been killed in a less torturous way.
[/spacequestexplainationlikeness]
The earmuffs I used to escape Coldplay's musical deathsong also act as a protection against confusing paradoxes.
I begin useing newspeak doubleplusungoodly to doubleplusgoodly unsense you. Your brain feel doubleplusungood and you duckspeak unnormal wrds until you unlife. Also, if you unare unlifed, then Miniluv arrive doubleplusspeedly and take you to joycamp, then make you unperson.
I call an insider at Telltale games, who promptly deletes all of your accounts and this entire thread. The company's network admin further blocks every IP address of the public subnet allocated to each of your ISPs.
By forum standards, "you" are officially dead.
As for me: I don't care if you're dead or not, but at least I won't have to see how long this will last anymore
I h@XX0r my way back into the foroms, then into your computer and give it so many viruses that it quite literally leaves you and your computer one, big smouldering crater.
I convince the police you are a dangerous terrorist wanted dead, not alive, in eighteen countries, because I'm a man who likes things ridiculously complicated.
Not as much as what's happening to you. The handle to that bazooka was covered in Flesh-eating acid bugs. They eat your flesh and leave behind naught but bones.
I put a single drop of ununnilorinethallium cadmiumestroate (unucad for short) on your body, which dissolves and neutralizes your entire atomic structure in minutes, leaving behind a pile of translucent goo, which I use to make a duplicate of myself to fight alongside of me, and whenever I feel like I want him to stop helping, I'll simply touch him, and he'll dissolve into more unucad.
Comments
WOO MOTHER 3 REFERENCING!
guess that refrance! (it's the space and time part not the murcury or battery part, just so ya know.)
[/spacequestexplainationlikeness]
past me comes from the future. it's so confusing your head explodes. spontaniously.
I begin useing newspeak doubleplusungoodly to doubleplusgoodly unsense you. Your brain feel doubleplusungood and you duckspeak unnormal wrds until you unlife. Also, if you unare unlifed, then Miniluv arrive doubleplusspeedly and take you to joycamp, then make you unperson.
By forum standards, "you" are officially dead.
As for me: I don't care if you're dead or not, but at least I won't have to see how long this will last anymore
I convince the police you are a dangerous terrorist wanted dead, not alive, in eighteen countries, because I'm a man who likes things ridiculously complicated.
Oh, and they shoot you on sight.
And/or pummel you to death.
Ouch. Thats gotta hurt.
i shoot strobro in the head with a bazooka 5000 times.
*sees god's phone number on the ground, calls him and he send stlouisribs to hell for all of eternity with no escape*
I dissolve you with unucad.