I'm already dead. You must be in the the after-life now. And if you're with me, it ain't heaven. Apparently Satan hates Starfox fans, so he makes you come back to life, forces you to commit more sins, and then he kills you again. You are then sent to the two places worse than hell combined. Juinor High shopping mall.
I build a time machine out of a Delorean and go back in time a few years in order to prevent your birth. Also, I make it so that my father was Superman.
Stupid, and unnecessarily gross. Also, there is a lack of death. The least you could do is pull out a rocket launcher, or something.
Also, must I repeat myself about video-linking as a method of killing? I understand that I started the trend, and I'm not really sure that it was funny the first couple of times, but it's come to scapegoat for uncreative souls. If you really want to kill someone with a video, pull out a copy of the video from The Ring or something along those lines, as opposed to Thriller or Never Gonna Give You Up (yeah, I used that one; sorry).
I play all of the linked videos above to you, but at a brightness so intense that you immediately lose your sight, and a volume so high that you immediately lose your sense of hearing. While you stumble around blind and deaf, I come and bash your head in with a baseball bat with YouTube's name on the side.
I concentrate the Negative reactions to Starfox Command into a massive energy blast and shoot it at you. The blast is so large, It destroys your Hemispere.
I make everyone sign a petition to stop the violence. You all do, and I give you all lemonade.
...WHICH I SPIKED WITH C-4, COUGH SYRUP, AND GASOLINE!
Then, the cough syrup kicks in, you all fall asleep, I cover you with black powder, run for cover, and chuck a match at you guys.
I just killed every person who posted on this thread!
Then, I gather your multiple ashes, put them into a blender, grind them all up, and, using a HUGE microscope and two pairs of microscopic pliers, rip your ashes into thirty-seconds. Then I burn them, wash, rinse, and repeat seven times.
You are all now atoms.
I rip those in half.
You all asplode, and I become supreme ruler of this thread. :cool:
Ah, but I was in my underground chamber smashing people's atoms. Therefore, you asplode your own dang self instead of me because I was too busy killing everyone else!
I then teleport to this one time, retrieve Atila the Hun, and he kills your dead corpse.
I still reign supreme.
And I gots me an Atila the Hun as my guard. He kills everything that moves except for me, due to a small computer chip I placed in his brain. It is updated every half-millisecond, so it never breaks or malfunctions.
I return as a soul somewhere between the spiritual world and the physical world, pull you into the shadows and maul you beyond recognition, leaving your mutilated, bloodied corpse in a gloomy hallway, in a big building, far away from civilization.
You are now in an alternate reality, where there's nothing but a white space. You cannot kill yourself, for you would come back to life. You can't starve, either. In fact, nothing can happen to you at ALL. This, my friend, is much worse than dying.
And if you somehow bring yourself back to this reality,
You become so blind with power, you kill everyone on this planet, this galaxy, and the universe. You are now all alone, with not much to do, and eventually, the universe collapses on itself, bringing you back to the white space where you cannot do anything at all.
I suddenly see a spider near me in nothing. It was killed at the exact moment I was killed/transported here, so for some reason it came too. Because something (I saw the spider) happened in the nothing, where nothing should ever happen to me, the structure of the nothing breaks and I pop back into this thread. But, my entire future has changed, which keeps me from becoming mad with power! This happens because...
...when I transported back here, the spider was on my left pinkie. This caused a strange fusion of molecules and I somehow become invincible, gain the ability to fly and become incredibly strong. Not to mention how I can see the future, which keeps me from becoming mad with power. I also gain a six pack, and now...
...when I open my mouth, I can will unintelligable beams of light stream from my mouth toward my unsuspecting victim, somewhat like an enhanced Shoop-da-Whoop, who then mumbles incoherently about the "pretty colors" and falls into a coma from which you will never emerge.
That was good. I actually think you beat me this time.
Actually, I had a 1-up mushroom before you fired ya lazer at me! In fact, I'm using a cheat code, where I have infinite 1-ups! You try again and again until you just give up and leave me, and you eventually die of age, and burn with the devil.
OR!
The spider becomes self-aware and forces itself off of you, and all of your power drains out of you and into him, and he destroys you in all of your forms, and you burn with the devil.
As I descend to the Devil, I see Snicklin smirk victoriously at me. I use the jetpack I just pulled out of hammerspace (used Google on my phone, found the cheat code for enabling hammerspace) and fly up and knock you unconscious. I, being a spirit, possess you and send your soul to the Devil in my place. I then, in Snicklin's shell of a corpse between the mortal world and the spiritual world, begin to look for a new body to use.
Suddenly, a pale young man in a hooded cloak runs across the road I'm viewing. He seems to be dying of pain, so I decide to save him the trouble. Just after I take over the body of the man I chose, I feel a sharp stab in my side, and I black out.
I wake up feeling strange. I walk into a public bathroom to see more clearly what I look like. Looking in the mirror, I soon realize...
My eyes are bright red.
My teeth are incredibly sharp, and I have fangs.
I don't have a heartbeat.
And when another guy walks in, I immediately kill him and drink his blood.
Well, I guess I'm a vampire now...
Eeeeeeeexcelent!
Oh, and I go find Snicklin's rotting corpse (in the alley where I stole the Vampire) and I drink his blood.
Comments
P.S. I give a kajillion dollars to the oerson who sayswhat commerical it is from
Oh, right. Kill the member above me....
I drop a cartoon anvil (1 TON) on your head.
Stupid, and unnecessarily gross. Also, there is a lack of death. The least you could do is pull out a rocket launcher, or something.
Also, must I repeat myself about video-linking as a method of killing? I understand that I started the trend, and I'm not really sure that it was funny the first couple of times, but it's come to scapegoat for uncreative souls. If you really want to kill someone with a video, pull out a copy of the video from The Ring or something along those lines, as opposed to Thriller or Never Gonna Give You Up (yeah, I used that one; sorry).
I play all of the linked videos above to you, but at a brightness so intense that you immediately lose your sight, and a volume so high that you immediately lose your sense of hearing. While you stumble around blind and deaf, I come and bash your head in with a baseball bat with YouTube's name on the side.
HINT: It's Starfox Related.
And i continuously throw fruit at Ray-The-Sun until he dies!
...WHICH I SPIKED WITH C-4, COUGH SYRUP, AND GASOLINE!
Then, the cough syrup kicks in, you all fall asleep, I cover you with black powder, run for cover, and chuck a match at you guys.
I just killed every person who posted on this thread!
Then, I gather your multiple ashes, put them into a blender, grind them all up, and, using a HUGE microscope and two pairs of microscopic pliers, rip your ashes into thirty-seconds. Then I burn them, wash, rinse, and repeat seven times.
You are all now atoms.
I rip those in half.
You all asplode, and I become supreme ruler of this thread. :cool:
-iRock
I then teleport to this one time, retrieve Atila the Hun, and he kills your dead corpse.
I still reign supreme.
And I gots me an Atila the Hun as my guard. He kills everything that moves except for me, due to a small computer chip I placed in his brain. It is updated every half-millisecond, so it never breaks or malfunctions.
Also, you're all still dead.
-iRock
You are now in an alternate reality, where there's nothing but a white space. You cannot kill yourself, for you would come back to life. You can't starve, either. In fact, nothing can happen to you at ALL. This, my friend, is much worse than dying.
And if you somehow bring yourself back to this reality,
You become so blind with power, you kill everyone on this planet, this galaxy, and the universe. You are now all alone, with not much to do, and eventually, the universe collapses on itself, bringing you back to the white space where you cannot do anything at all.
Your house is in their somewhere
...when I transported back here, the spider was on my left pinkie. This caused a strange fusion of molecules and I somehow become invincible, gain the ability to fly and become incredibly strong. Not to mention how I can see the future, which keeps me from becoming mad with power. I also gain a six pack, and now...
...when I open my mouth, I can will unintelligable beams of light stream from my mouth toward my unsuspecting victim, somewhat like an enhanced Shoop-da-Whoop, who then mumbles incoherently about the "pretty colors" and falls into a coma from which you will never emerge.
Actually, I had a 1-up mushroom before you fired ya lazer at me! In fact, I'm using a cheat code, where I have infinite 1-ups! You try again and again until you just give up and leave me, and you eventually die of age, and burn with the devil.
OR!
The spider becomes self-aware and forces itself off of you, and all of your power drains out of you and into him, and he destroys you in all of your forms, and you burn with the devil.
Suddenly, a pale young man in a hooded cloak runs across the road I'm viewing. He seems to be dying of pain, so I decide to save him the trouble. Just after I take over the body of the man I chose, I feel a sharp stab in my side, and I black out.
I wake up feeling strange. I walk into a public bathroom to see more clearly what I look like. Looking in the mirror, I soon realize...
My eyes are bright red.
My teeth are incredibly sharp, and I have fangs.
I don't have a heartbeat.
And when another guy walks in, I immediately kill him and drink his blood.
Well, I guess I'm a vampire now...
Eeeeeeeexcelent!
Oh, and I go find Snicklin's rotting corpse (in the alley where I stole the Vampire) and I drink his blood.