Great. First, we went to a dangerous ride to get to Siren's Heaven, but we didn't, as we were blown up by evil bandits trying to kill us. And now we're at a village of some Handsome Jack worshippers, who kneel before a statue of the deadman and pray to him like he's some sort of a god, even though he was just a simple company leader. That's not how I imagined me being on Pandora. I at least thought everything will be normal besides constant bandit attacks. I was so wrong. Gosh, I hope I will get used to it, because so far it just annoys me. The little funny robot was still talking to Celeste, but I interrupted their little chat.
''Is someone sane here? PLEASE?'', I asked desperately. But seeing the crazy people's prayers I lost all hope. But I could always have hope, right? The robot's eye got a little brighter before it speaked. I scratched my moustache, which had a white colour by the way.
''...Of course, there are more sane people in this village, other than I. But I won't say their names so you'll have a surprise! Come with me, we'll speak to the sanest person in the area! Of course, not counting me!'', robot screamed in excitement.
''Alright...But if he's not really that sane, you're gonna go to the Grinder!'', Celeste threatened it. I thought she likes it? Oh well...Who doesn't she like? He he he. The one-wheeled annoyance led us to one of the biggest houses in the village. The door was locked. I thought it was weird, until a creepy hologram appeared out of nowhere right in front of us.
''Ack!'', Celeste screamed.
''Well...I wouldn't be surprised if the most decent person in this hole is actually a hologram'', Ryon joked. So, the hologram was similiar to a person, that much I know and it is pretty obvious. The man had a hat on top of his head and a slight beard. The hologram had indeed bluish colours, so I couldn't tell much.
''Password, please.'' The man suddenly said.
''Sheriff is love, Sheriff is life.'' The one-wheeled brat mumbled.
''Password accepted. Who are these people you've come with? Don't tell me they forced you into saying the password, Claptrap.'' The hologram replied almost immediately.
''Nope, they're my minions I saved from a certain death and now they must serve me 'til the end of the world!'' Claptrap said and I wanted to punch him...If he's even a male...for saying that I am a minion. I.
''Minions? Really?'' Hank asked, clearly annoyed.
''That's just his nature, friend. Tell me, what do you seek in Turretville? I haven't seen you in here.'' Hologram said.
''But wait, who ARE you?'' Celeste asked.
''I...I am the Sheriff.'' The ghostly figure replied.
THE SHERIFF
''He's the sheriff.''
''Um...Is that your real name?'' I asked, being quite silent during that dumb little talk.
''No...I have forgotten my name years ago. I would tell you to come in, but I can't let you. I am deadly ill. I don't want to infect you, like I did with my fa-- Uhmm, nevermind.'' The Sheriff was telling his tale.
''That's okay. Is there something we can do for you?'' Celeste asked. Can't believe I'm helping a man who didn't even let us to his home and is using his own hologram. But I guess I don't want to be deadly ill.
''Yes. I must be responsible for those crazy people you've probably already seen. I fear that the S4VI0UR Turret you've also probably seen might not be enough. I need you to kill someone - a local bandit clanlord. He hates me and I hate him. I want to have revenge. Kill him and it will be the first step to securing Turretville. If you could, do it with a knife I'll send you in a while.'' The Sheriff said, explaining us our mission. But there was something I needed to say.
''But...we need to get to Siren's Heaven. Securing Turretville is not our mission.'' I said, which might have sounded to be rude, but I needed that clarified.
''Eagle, come on...'' Celeste said, dissapointed.
''He's kinda got a point. I mean, why would we save Handsome Jack's followers? After what he did to Pandora...'' Ryon said.
''If I was still a part of Hyperion, I'd have you punched, Ryon. But I'm not so I agree.'' Hank said, being totally silent few minutes earlier.
''Hrrrm. I thought you, as Vault Hunters, will help me no matter what. But fine. Your reward will be not only better guns, but also a new car that will probably be enough for you to get to Siren's Heaven.'' The Sheriff replied.
''That's what I wanted to hear.'' I replied, sounding kinda douchebaggy, but who cares.
''So...Can you give us the knife?'' Hank asked.
''Of course, but one more thing. I need you to split up. I want two of you to take out Blackhill, the clanlord. He and his douchebags live in a camp in the hills nearby. Meanwhile, two of you stay here and protect Turretville. Just in case. Please.'' The Hologramic Sheriff asked. Splitting up was not probably a good idea, but I wanted to try anyway.
''I can go with Ryon to take down Blackhill.'' I said. Ryon nodded.
''Alright. Everyone cool with that?'' Ryon asked.
''I can stay. I'm pretty interested in this...Handsome Fellowship.'' Celeste replied.
''Not really handsome, if you'd ask me, but yeah, I can stay.'' Hank replied. Suddenly, a platform just flied through a little hole in the door, and on it was the knife mentioned earlier. Before Ryon could grab it, I did.
''I will kill Blackhill, if you may. But you can kill pretty much everyone else.'' I said, waving the knife around to see if it feels good. It felt good.
''Oooooh! Yes, I'll go all for that!'' Ryon yelled, happy. I couldn't believe in his dumbness. He does all the work, I kill the boss and I will get the bigger reward. Hopefully a new sniper rifle, since this one became all rusty. And even if I hate to ditch the weapon I've been using by over ten years back on Earth, it just won't be enough here on Pandora.
''Well then, go, little murderers. We'll be just here in peace while you'll be at constant danger all the time.'' Hank said.
''You'll spit out those words after we'll get back with the bandit's blood on the knife.'' I replied.
Without saying any goodbyes, we left Turretvile and were headed into the direction Sheriff located on our ECHO. We didn't have to look long. The camp was smartly built at the side of the cliff. It seemed dangerous, a hellhole for people with height fear. But I didn't have one. Neither did Ryon, apparently. Before we started shooting, we sat near a lone stone laying on the ground, baking in the sun, thinking of a plan.
''So...We found the camp, but how will we go about killing them? Will we just burst in? They can easily shoot at us from buildings below. The way the camp is built in is really dangerous, mainly for us.'' I shared my doubts.
''Well...You've got a point. So what will we do?'' Ryon asked. After a while of thinking, I smiled maniacally because I came up with a perfect plan. I told it to Ryon and he seemed pretty exciting about doing it. Ah, my brilliance never left me! Time to die, little bandits!
We approached a guarding bandit on top of the cliff, guarding the enter gate to the camp. He pointed his gun at us. But we had something that could interest him.
''Woah, woah, buddy, relax! We're from a new weapon company on Pandora and seeing as our guns are murderous but no one buys them for some reason, we wanted to sell them to you! May we speak with your boss, Blackhill?'' I started my plan with asking a simple question. I expect he will say no.
''Our lord is at the bottom of our camp and he's not to be disturbed! Get out!'' Bandit said, starting to wave his gun around. As I expected. More bandits came to see the show or rather the way in which their pal will handle us.
''Murderous guns with amazing shot speed! You really want us to go away right now?'' I asked.
''Well...What kind of guns do you have?'' The guard asked. Ryon clicked a button on his robotic hand and it turned into a machine gun. I smiled maniacally once again.
''This kind.'' I said, taking my pistol. Ryon already killed the guards and the rest of the bandits that came to watch. Almost immediately we heard another gunshots. We entered the camp. It had multiple staircases going down the camp, down the cliff, you might say. We were killing them all, carefully. I really wanted to gain more loot by simply murdering the boss with a knife. As we were down, one of the bandits surprised Ryon (whose handy machine gun ran out of power and he had to wait. Borderlands, right?) and jumped on his back, trying to axe him. He hit him with his elbow and punched him with the other hand and pointed his rifle at him. Well, was that a failed operation.
''No! Please don't kill me! I have a wife and chi--Okay, I don't have any children but I have pet skags! Please, save my life and I'll show you our secret loot room!'' The bandit pleaded for his life. The word ''loot'' worked on Ryon as ''treat'' on a pet dog. He wouldn't waste that opportunity.
''I'm gonna see that loot, mate. Will you handle the Blackhill?'' Ryon asked. I rolled my eyes.
''Of course, go on.'' I replied and we both went our ways. I went at the bottom of the staircase and I found a huge tent, way bigger than those above. I knew this was it. I also noticed that we were not far from the ground. Anyone with a rocket launcher could kill Blackhill with almost no problems. Too bad The Sheriff didn't mention that...
I entered the tent and saw Blackhill. He was fat, black-skinned lad with blonde hair, which looked pretty hilarious. How could a funny looking guy like him become a leader of anything? Circus, maybe...He seemed to be quite nervous and sweat went down his forehead. I took Sheriff's knife. He took of his hatchet. I smiled. Before we ran into each others throat, we made few circles in the tent in the way Blackhill stood near the entrance to the tent.
''I'm gonna kill your face, Sheriff's cock-licker!'' He said after a while of standing there.
BLACKHILL!
''His name is Mudd. Lol, pretty shitty, isn't it?''
I chuckled. ''You really think this talk is gonna scare me, fatty?''
''Do NOT call me that.'' Blackhill stated, clearly offended.
''You were a good man. Or pretty horrible, if I have to be honest. But it ends now.'' I said.
''When you come back to that shitty Turretville town, tell The Sheriff that he can kiss my--'' He tried to say, but something interrupted him. A bullet in the head. A sniper! Someone shot him. I was scared and proud at that same time. That sniper really knew when to strike...Blackhill was standing near the entrance to the tent, it was perfect. Now he was laying there, dead. But what if the assasin wants to shoot me, too? I stood there, paralyzed.
What should I do?!
[Hide]
[Fire back]
Celeste
Ah, the sweet, sweet silence. Well, if you could call those constant prayers lasting for almost twenty minutes now a silence. I examined the statue. It was indeed Handsome Jack's statue made of pure gold. He was in The Thinker pose. That's lame. Lame and repetitive. The worshippers had white coats on them. They had multiple hair colours. I admit, I was kinda scared to go even near them...
''You checking those crazy asses, Cel?'' Hank asked, totally surprising me. I felt like my heart stopped beating for a second but it was a false feeling.
''Jesus, Hank...I-I guess. They're kinda scary. This prayer lasts for twenty minutes now and no one stopped kneeling, no one went away!'' I shared my fears with Hank.
''Well...They probably didn't even notice we're here. I don't want it to happen, though...What if they shoot us out?'' Hank asked.
''The Sheriff will help us, I'm sure.'' I replied. He nodded. An awkward silence came, until we heard a pathetic voice coming from nearby. It sounded like ''oooh ooh oooh'' in a robotic voice. Claptrap?
''Maybe go check what it is. Scream if something happens, I'll help you'' Hank said. I nodded with a furious look. Why me? Is that because I kinda started to like the little robot? Pffft. I will punish Hank one day, I promise. Anyway, I went into Turretville's alleyway and as I thought, it was Claptrap.
''What are you doing, Claptrap?'' I asked.
''Oh, you heard my lament...That's good. I need help. And only a girl can help. I have some...love problems.'' He replied with a saddened voice.
''Love problems? Okay, that's...odd...but tell me, what can I do?'' I kept asking. Claptrap's love problems. Great.
''There's a female Claptrap unit called Pinkytrap. I wanted to confess love to her and I meant to do it today, but her weird ass owner treats her like gold-worth pet and won't let me! What, poor I, can do?'' Claptrap lamented. Really? That...that was fucking pathetic.
''And I am supposed to do...what, exactly?'' I asked.
''I know Pinkytrap loves me back, but I need that confession to make sure! But that freaky gal, her owner, won't let me! If you could make her owner to let me in, I'll give you loot, amazing loot! Will you help?'' Claptrap replied.
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven
Eagle
Great. First, we went to a dangerous ride to get to Siren's Heaven, but we didn't, as we were blown u… morep by evil bandits trying to kill us. And now we're at a village of some Handsome Jack worshippers, who kneel before a statue of the deadman and pray to him like he's some sort of a god, even though he was just a simple company leader. That's not how I imagined me being on Pandora. I at least thought everything will be normal besides constant bandit attacks. I was so wrong. Gosh, I hope I will get used to it, because so far it just annoys me. The little funny robot was still talking to Celeste, but I interrupted their little chat.
''Is someone sane here? PLEASE?'', I asked desperately. But seeing the crazy people's prayers I lost all hope. But I could always have hope, right? The robot's eye got a little brighter before it speaked. I scratched my moustache, which had a white colour by the way.
''...O… [view original content]
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven
Eagle
Great. First, we went to a dangerous ride to get to Siren's Heaven, but we didn't, as we were blown u… morep by evil bandits trying to kill us. And now we're at a village of some Handsome Jack worshippers, who kneel before a statue of the deadman and pray to him like he's some sort of a god, even though he was just a simple company leader. That's not how I imagined me being on Pandora. I at least thought everything will be normal besides constant bandit attacks. I was so wrong. Gosh, I hope I will get used to it, because so far it just annoys me. The little funny robot was still talking to Celeste, but I interrupted their little chat.
''Is someone sane here? PLEASE?'', I asked desperately. But seeing the crazy people's prayers I lost all hope. But I could always have hope, right? The robot's eye got a little brighter before it speaked. I scratched my moustache, which had a white colour by the way.
''...O… [view original content]
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven
Eagle
Great. First, we went to a dangerous ride to get to Siren's Heaven, but we didn't, as we were blown u… morep by evil bandits trying to kill us. And now we're at a village of some Handsome Jack worshippers, who kneel before a statue of the deadman and pray to him like he's some sort of a god, even though he was just a simple company leader. That's not how I imagined me being on Pandora. I at least thought everything will be normal besides constant bandit attacks. I was so wrong. Gosh, I hope I will get used to it, because so far it just annoys me. The little funny robot was still talking to Celeste, but I interrupted their little chat.
''Is someone sane here? PLEASE?'', I asked desperately. But seeing the crazy people's prayers I lost all hope. But I could always have hope, right? The robot's eye got a little brighter before it speaked. I scratched my moustache, which had a white colour by the way.
''...O… [view original content]
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven
Eagle
Great. First, we went to a dangerous ride to get to Siren's Heaven, but we didn't, as we were blown u… morep by evil bandits trying to kill us. And now we're at a village of some Handsome Jack worshippers, who kneel before a statue of the deadman and pray to him like he's some sort of a god, even though he was just a simple company leader. That's not how I imagined me being on Pandora. I at least thought everything will be normal besides constant bandit attacks. I was so wrong. Gosh, I hope I will get used to it, because so far it just annoys me. The little funny robot was still talking to Celeste, but I interrupted their little chat.
''Is someone sane here? PLEASE?'', I asked desperately. But seeing the crazy people's prayers I lost all hope. But I could always have hope, right? The robot's eye got a little brighter before it speaked. I scratched my moustache, which had a white colour by the way.
''...O… [view original content]
I know how Crips devious mind it will sequence us.... he is EVIL frist let use rewind choice so far
[Hide] and [Fire back] so he want us to kill our characters, let assume the answer is [Hide] that mean they will hide and wait for my character your characters to show up and them he can perform stealth kill so our characters can not fight back, for his maximum enjoy
Then here come the second one [Accept Claptrap's mission] and [Decline Claptrap's mission] if you [Accept Claptrap's mission] this 'mission' is an excuse to mock or make fun of our characters that is totally insulting for poor girl.
and if you [Decline Claptrap's mission] you start to fell bad for Claptrap so he have fun of you as living person.
NOW THE BIG PROF I HAVE SO FAR is this image that is admit she like it
I know how Crips devious mind it will sequence us.... he is EVIL frist let use rewind choice so far
[Hide] and [Fire back] so he want us … moreto kill our characters, let assume the answer is [Hide] that mean they will hide and wait for my character your characters to show up and them he can perform stealth kill so our characters can not fight back, for his maximum enjoy
Then here come the second one [Accept Claptrap's mission] and [Decline Claptrap's mission] if you [Accept Claptrap's mission] this 'mission' is an excuse to mock or make fun of our characters that is totally insulting for poor girl.
and if you [Decline Claptrap's mission] you start to fell bad for Claptrap so he have fun of you as living person.
NOW THE BIG PROF I HAVE SO FAR is this image that is admit she like it
my dear worship fist of all my Arialex is so cute, sweet, hot, sexy girl 'KAWAII' if you read in that thread about my girl and you give a s*it about any characters you should know that she have companion/pet an Wolf name simple Ki so as I know about borderlands from my studies in Ethology and Biology there is NO Wolfs so you can replace him with loyal bloody Skag that will probably eat me in next episode.
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven
Eagle
Great. First, we went to a dangerous ride to get to Siren's Heaven, but we didn't, as we were blown u… morep by evil bandits trying to kill us. And now we're at a village of some Handsome Jack worshippers, who kneel before a statue of the deadman and pray to him like he's some sort of a god, even though he was just a simple company leader. That's not how I imagined me being on Pandora. I at least thought everything will be normal besides constant bandit attacks. I was so wrong. Gosh, I hope I will get used to it, because so far it just annoys me. The little funny robot was still talking to Celeste, but I interrupted their little chat.
''Is someone sane here? PLEASE?'', I asked desperately. But seeing the crazy people's prayers I lost all hope. But I could always have hope, right? The robot's eye got a little brighter before it speaked. I scratched my moustache, which had a white colour by the way.
''...O… [view original content]
Wow! I still can't get over how high the quality of the writing is. I mean, really, this is worth of a real Borderlands game. Congratulations; you're really talented! Anyway, these are my choices:
[Hide]
[Accept Claptrap's mission]
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven
Eagle
Great. First, we went to a dangerous ride to get to Siren's Heaven, but we didn't, as we were blown u… morep by evil bandits trying to kill us. And now we're at a village of some Handsome Jack worshippers, who kneel before a statue of the deadman and pray to him like he's some sort of a god, even though he was just a simple company leader. That's not how I imagined me being on Pandora. I at least thought everything will be normal besides constant bandit attacks. I was so wrong. Gosh, I hope I will get used to it, because so far it just annoys me. The little funny robot was still talking to Celeste, but I interrupted their little chat.
''Is someone sane here? PLEASE?'', I asked desperately. But seeing the crazy people's prayers I lost all hope. But I could always have hope, right? The robot's eye got a little brighter before it speaked. I scratched my moustache, which had a white colour by the way.
''...O… [view original content]
Wow! I still can't get over how high the quality of the writing is. I mean, really, this is worth of a real Borderlands game. Congratulations; you're really talented! Anyway, these are my choices:
[Hide]
[Accept Claptrap's mission]
Before I start my point of view, I must say that the previous narrators are barely reliable. They explain things pretty good, but they never stated their appearance, probably afraid of their ugliness. So let me just sum this up real quick. Cel has silver, short hair and violet eyes and purple Siren tatoos. She also had shoes with feathers taped to them, because you know, she can run a lot. Pfft. Hank wears a golden Hyperion uniform and by ''golden'' I mean it has a golden colour. Eagle wears a black coat, has white thick moustache and very short hair, barely visible from the hood. But I am the handsomest of them all. I am big, muscular, in an orange shirt that makes everything better, long brown hair and a clock on my wrist. Hell yeah, take me, all the women listening to me!
Anyway, what was I supposed to tell? Ah, yes. My tales at the Blackhill Camp. I showed mercy for the bandit trying to assasinate me and he, in return, led me to a secret loot room. Ah, loot, I love you so much! Once, I was given a choice between a better gun or a better shield. Easy peasy. I took the gun, obviously, but I did not realize it was a Hyperion shotgun that had some sort of AI in there and talked...talked, talked and talked and sometimes even offended me. So I broke the gun, killing the AI and then gave it to Marcus for repairs. Although he treated it as a refund back then, I explained him the situation and he agreed. I never left that shotgun ever since Marcus gave it back. Ah, memories! Well, anyway, I found myself at the room full of loot crates. That was...beautiful! Although the room was made of rusty iron that stank and it did not make the loot as beautiful as it was, I was still amused. I kneeled to open one. A corrosive pistol! Holy shit! I might leave this pistol for this one! I was so thankful to the bandit, at least for a little while...
...until that fucker attacked me. Punched me in the face as I took the corrosive pistol and he made me drop it. When I was on the floor, he tried to choke me. ''Surprise, motherfucker! Die!'', he yelled but I head-butted him and he fell. I picked up the corrosive pistol and aimed at him, but he grabbed my hand and when I pulled the trigger, he made me already aim at something else, which obviously made me miss. So I kicked him in the balls and punched him in the face. But before I could shoot him, he quickly stood up and charged at me, which made me miss again and, what's worse, drop the weapon. We struggled a bit to get the gun. He picked it up and before I even stood up, he aimed at me and pulled the trigger.
I closed my eyes, ready to die in this stupid way, but in the matter of those few seconds, I already accepted it. When I realized I was still alive and kickin' with no bullet hole found in my body, I realized something else. I had a shield on. Of course! This shield saved my life. Confused bandit stood there, making himself an easy target. So I charged at him and we both dropped onto a floor, me slowly choking him.
''You made a huge mistake, junior. Say, how do you wanna die? I've got a lot of proposals...And no mercy anymore. All of this loot...the cash, the guns, the shields and the porn magazines...They're all mine'' I threatened him.
''Phhhr...Slag you...Vault Fuckers like you deserve nothing!'' He replied.
''You're getting way out of line. And I asked a question. HOW do you want to die?'' I asked again.
''Screw you.'' The bandit still offended me. Oh, this oughta be good...
[Kill him slowly and painfully]
[Shoot his brains out]
Eagle
(?) You hid. Pffft.
Holy frickin' crap, I was paralyzed out of fear for a moment but when the feeling was gone, I quickly hid in a big box nearby. It was a horrible hideout, but assuming he didn't see me, I was able to surprise him. I took out my pistol just in case. I waited few moments and heard him stepping in. I focused on what I heard...and I heard nothing much. The sniper, from what I assumed, looked around for few minutes...What was he looking for? Because of the lack of air in the box, I had to open it. I jumped out of it and pointed my pistol at the attacker. I wish Ryon was with me, which was kinda...weird, knowing my pal's temper.
''Wh-Who are you?!'' The man yelled and pointed his sniper rifle at me. He had brown hair and blue eyes and his outfit suggested that he is indeed an assasin. I smiled. There's never enough killers for hire. I felt like we could have a great relationship. Wait, not in that kind of way. I meant friendship, okay? Whatever. He noticed my smile. ''I am Eagle'', I said.
''Travis...But what are you doing here? Are you a bandit, Eagle?'' He asked. Did I really look like a bandit? I was just about to kill one. Ah, that reminded me to ask something very, very, very important.
TRAVIS!
Knows how to get shit done.
''You actually stole my target. Why?'' I asked. Ah, stealing a frag. It is a very serious crime, especially if you're a known killer and someone just does your job. In other situations, it would be fine, but it's about my pride and profession. I value it more than life (since I take lifes). Travis looked like he was in early twenties and I probably was right. He seemed kind a smart. Being kind was very dangerous on Pandora, but it was a danger you would face, not your enemy. It probably would get you killed. And smashed. And grinded. Looks like Travis got the picture, since he stared at me for almost few minutes. He realized his question about me being a bandit was kinda stupid, since I was trying to kill him.
''I...needed to that, Eagle, I am sorry. I heard he had debts for my father. He...He could've had a motive for his assasination. There, I said it.'' Travis replied, frustrated and sad at the same time.
''So you shoot before you question? I like that. So you want to assasin an assasin. Good luck. I need to get back to Turretville.'' I said, approaching Blackhill's dead body and stabbing it with the knife. In this way, I could lie and no one would ever find proof that I haven't killed him. I'd do anything for at least some more money. Getting a knife kill would surely make me more wealthy.
''You actually live in Turretville, the town of the psycho Handsome Jack worshippers? That's...I gotta tell you, that's really low. But it's always a safe place. Say, couldn't I go with you? I have no way to get back at my home, seeing the bandit parade all over the place. One sniper can't get through a horde of bad guys. I'm tired of sleeping on a rocky ground, and living with the psycho Hyperion worshippers probably isn't very comfortable either, but it's better. Please?'' Travis asked. I dunno, he was still a stranger. And he stole my kill. If I wasn't that brilliant, I could not get away from it. But he seems good at talented...He'd make a beautiful Vault Hunter.
[Let Travis come with you]
[Leave Travis alone]
Celeste
(?) You accepted Claptrap's mission. Again, why?
''Fine. I will help you with your heart problems. If you even have a heart'' I replied to Claptrap's request. Of course, it was dumb as hell and I regretted it ever since, but I wanted to be nice, since I grew to like him (although it didn't seem like it). And I was a girl!
''Yay! Thank you so much! I will reward you for it! My sweety pie lives in the house over there! The creepy owner won't open the door for you, of that I'm sure, so get through the window like a true ninja! Go on minion!'' Claptraip said, almost exploding from excitement, pointing at a house with his little robotic arm! I gave him a quick nod and went my way. I climbed a Dahl dumpster and climbed through the window which was surprisingly opened. The inside was dark, the deeper I went, the less I could see. Suddenly, something started to punch me in the face. Really, a mysterious figure showed up, punched me in the face few times and ran away. I was a little pissed and scared.
''Show your face!'' I yelled, but I heard only silence. I went a little bit further but nothing could be seen, nothing could be heard. And another punches came out of nowhere and this time they were so hard I fell onto the ground. Angry and hurt, I stood up. I felt like the figure is running in my direction again to send me some punches again...But I used my siren power. My tatoos glowed with purple light and my eyes got incredibly shiny. In a minute I could defend myself from the punches and hurt the attacker. I switched on the light, since I saw the panel. It was a man. He had a helmet, a dark suit and his pants had...rainbows on it. What the actual fuck...
''You're a Siren, huh? I didn't expect that...I am Sordo...And you just entered my possesion.'' The attacker said. My tatoos stopped shining and I fell on my knees, tired.
SORDO!
Guns are for pussies
''Celeste...And I am here for Pinkytrap. She needs to meet with Claptrap'' I replied.
''Ah, this...You could've said so from the very beginning. Of course, she can go out. Since you already proved you're powerful enough to make me.'' Sordo replied. I was a little surprised.
''And that's it? No challenge?'' I asked.
''That depends if you want a challenge.'' He replied.
Do I? I mean, I've got nothing better to do until Ryon and Eagle come back...But it could be very painful. I don't like pain.
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven continues
Ryon
Before I start my point of view, I must say that the previous narrators are barely reliable.… more They explain things pretty good, but they never stated their appearance, probably afraid of their ugliness. So let me just sum this up real quick. Cel has silver, short hair and violet eyes and purple Siren tatoos. She also had shoes with feathers taped to them, because you know, she can run a lot. Pfft. Hank wears a golden Hyperion uniform and by ''golden'' I mean it has a golden colour. Eagle wears a black coat, has white thick moustache and very short hair, barely visible from the hood. But I am the handsomest of them all. I am big, muscular, in an orange shirt that makes everything better, long brown hair and a clock on my wrist. Hell yeah, take me, all the women listening to me!
Anyway, what was I supposed to tell? Ah, yes. My tales at the Blackhill Camp. I showed mercy for the bandit trying to a… [view original content]
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven continues
Ryon
Before I start my point of view, I must say that the previous narrators are barely reliable.… more They explain things pretty good, but they never stated their appearance, probably afraid of their ugliness. So let me just sum this up real quick. Cel has silver, short hair and violet eyes and purple Siren tatoos. She also had shoes with feathers taped to them, because you know, she can run a lot. Pfft. Hank wears a golden Hyperion uniform and by ''golden'' I mean it has a golden colour. Eagle wears a black coat, has white thick moustache and very short hair, barely visible from the hood. But I am the handsomest of them all. I am big, muscular, in an orange shirt that makes everything better, long brown hair and a clock on my wrist. Hell yeah, take me, all the women listening to me!
Anyway, what was I supposed to tell? Ah, yes. My tales at the Blackhill Camp. I showed mercy for the bandit trying to a… [view original content]
This chapter was fucking great! I love how my character (Travis) turned out [Kill him slowly and painfully] [Let Travis come with you] [''Yes, I want a challenge.'']
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven continues
Ryon
Before I start my point of view, I must say that the previous narrators are barely reliable.… more They explain things pretty good, but they never stated their appearance, probably afraid of their ugliness. So let me just sum this up real quick. Cel has silver, short hair and violet eyes and purple Siren tatoos. She also had shoes with feathers taped to them, because you know, she can run a lot. Pfft. Hank wears a golden Hyperion uniform and by ''golden'' I mean it has a golden colour. Eagle wears a black coat, has white thick moustache and very short hair, barely visible from the hood. But I am the handsomest of them all. I am big, muscular, in an orange shirt that makes everything better, long brown hair and a clock on my wrist. Hell yeah, take me, all the women listening to me!
Anyway, what was I supposed to tell? Ah, yes. My tales at the Blackhill Camp. I showed mercy for the bandit trying to a… [view original content]
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven continues
Ryon
Before I start my point of view, I must say that the previous narrators are barely reliable.… more They explain things pretty good, but they never stated their appearance, probably afraid of their ugliness. So let me just sum this up real quick. Cel has silver, short hair and violet eyes and purple Siren tatoos. She also had shoes with feathers taped to them, because you know, she can run a lot. Pfft. Hank wears a golden Hyperion uniform and by ''golden'' I mean it has a golden colour. Eagle wears a black coat, has white thick moustache and very short hair, barely visible from the hood. But I am the handsomest of them all. I am big, muscular, in an orange shirt that makes everything better, long brown hair and a clock on my wrist. Hell yeah, take me, all the women listening to me!
Anyway, what was I supposed to tell? Ah, yes. My tales at the Blackhill Camp. I showed mercy for the bandit trying to a… [view original content]
Voting closed. Ryon will kill him slowly and painfully, Eagle will let Travis go to Turretville and Celeste will accept the challenge.
New chapter coming today. I had a terrible headache yesterday and couldn't write anything.
(?) You also let Ryon kill the bandit slowly and painfully, since he's not the PoV in this one, I'm gonna say it now, u mad?
Ah, whatever. I suppose I could let him go to Turretville. Couldn't just leave a talented young assasin like this in a shithole like this camp. So I agreed, nodding and smiling, looking like a kind man I, in fact, was. Travis smiled back and looked at least excited. But after that description of the village he gave me, I did not know what was he excited about. Maybe murder. In that case, I understood him perfectly. I felt a father-son relationship was born! Although I'm 28 and he looks like 22...Oh well, nothing's impossible on Pandora, am I right? Wait, what the hell did I sa--
''Let's go then!'', Travis said. ''Not yet. You know, I'm not alone. There's my friend Ryon somewhere, I won't leave him.'' I replied and he saluted. Okay, now I felt amazing and sexy. Like a boss! We left the tent and actually, we didn't search for long. He approached us with his shirt being all bloody and he wore an...intestine as a scarf? Okay then, I did not expect that...
''What the heck, Ryon...?'' I asked. Travis felt kinda uneasy, I could see that.
''Ah, I...I got the loot, but I had to fight for it. Totally. It's all in my backpack now. We can use it or sell it now.'' Ryon replied.
''Alright, but stop wearing this intestine, alright...?'' I asked. It was just a simple request. I mean, it wasn't normal...Or it was, on Pandora. Hell, I don't even know anymore!
''Looks like I'm becoming a part of an amazing group, am I not?'' Travis asked.
''You'll see when you meet Celeste and Hank, the rest of our crew.'' I replied, smiling. I kinda couldn't wait to see them myself. It was forever. Are they doing okay in Turretville? Well, we sure as hell were about to find out...
Celeste
(?) You agreed to take a challenge from Sordo although you could just get Pinkytrap, idiot.
There's never enough challenges to get and complete! Although, from what I could tell about Sordo, it wouldn't be an easy one. But I wasn't seeking for an easy challenge. I wanted something fun. I just really hoped it wouldn't get me hurt. The punches he gave me earlier were really painful. Does he not know that you can't punch girls? I had to teach that frickin' peasant a lesson.
''Yes, I want a challenge.'' I said with a poker face. Sordo stood up and even though I couldn't see from his helmet, I was sure he was smiling. And I was about to wipe that smile off his invisible face. BUA HA HA HA HA!
''Well then, that's brave of you. I could just let Pinkytrap go with you, but if you're so stubborn...I want you to defeat me in a melee duel without your Siren powers activated. And no guns. I know you have them somewhere in your pocket, but I don't even look at them. They're for pussies. You're not a pussy, are ya, Siren?'' Sordo asked. Well, of course not, but without my Siren powers, a melee duel could be...well, difficult. And painful. But I couldn't just take an easy answer and not accept the challenge. Hank is gonna be worried about me though, won't he?
''Of course I'm not. And I won't allow calling me in that way.'' I replied and felt that Sordo smiled again.
''Well then, let's continue. I'm gonna ease it up a little for ya, Siren. I won't turn off the light this time, he he he.'' He responded and I nodded. Thanks for the help, gentleman, I'm so happy about it, praise you! Grrr. That little helmet boy started to annoy me. Well, it was about to end. I was able to kick his ass in a bright room.
He showed me that it's about time we should start by a hand gesture. I got my fists ready. He delivered the first punch I wasn't able to defend because of his speed. Well, what a great start. But I now knew how I should act. So while I was trying to stand up, he ran to me to deliver a punch to my gut but I kicked him, did a frontflip while standing on my hands and got back on my legs in a time of few seconds and punched him trice. He grabbed my wrists and threw me at the wall. I knocked his painting off. Wait, he had his own painting in his house? Lol, okay. I grabbed the painting and while he was running at me, I punched him with it and he fell on the ground but kicked me in the crotch.
''YAWWWGH!'', I whimpered. That was one step too far. While I was on my knees, my private parts hurt, he started to punch me and kick me in the face. It hurt and with each punch, I got more angry. And I got that angry I stood up and he ran for me, I punched him in the face. And before he fell onto the ground from pain, I managed to punch him yet six times and deformed his helmet. He fell on his hands and barely moving, shaking like jelly, he managed to whisper something to me.
''You won, Siren.'' He was clearly not happy about that. Well, I did stain his pride. But that's his fault. He proposed me this challenge and I accepted. I could felt rage and a bit of sadness in his words. Maybe that's because I deformed his helmet from the seven quick punches I delivered to him? Probably. Well, he was a mysterious man. ''Pinkytrap! Go with that lady!'' He yelled and a Claptrap unit showed up. It was completely pink and a bit rusty. Pinkytrap didn't respond. Maybe she was afraid of her owner? Who knows. At least I ended it.
I opened the door and she followed me. I got back into the alleyway I met Claptrap at. He was so happy to see her with me. And bruises on my face just showed that I was trying real hard!
''Pinkytrap! How I'm happy to see you! I sent my minion to retrieve you from that creepy Sordo guy and here you are! I need to tell you something...It's important. Y-You make my heart go wub wub!'' Claptrap flirted. That was kinda adorable.
''Oh, Clappie, all the trouble to say something I already knew? I like you, too. Let's go somewhere. Sordo for sure won't look for me and kill you when he finds us! Please!'' Pinky responded and it wasn't that adorable since she had the exact same voice like Claptrap did. Well, that got surely weirder...
''Just one second, love! Hey, minion. Because of how your mission went amazingly splendid, you can, in reward, rob my dumpster! That's where I hide all the loot. Don't search for me and don't tell Sordo! I'm going at the end of the world with Pinky here!'' Claptrap said to me. I smiled, nodded and wished them good luck, although they had exactly the same voice...Okay, that will haunt me for few next nights...
When they went away, I opened the dumpster which was almost empty. When I saw what was there, I sighed and rolled my eyes. Old rusty toy pistols and old Runner parts, probably stolen from Scooter's Catch-A-Ride. Figures.
And I would probably still think about how I regretted taking Claptrap's mission until Hank ran to me. He was sweaty and terrified. ''What the heck happened, Hank?'' I asked. Something was going on, I could feel it. ''Th-The worshippers stopped praying. They're gonna notice us.'' He replied. ''Oh shit. Does that mean...'' I was unsure about the situation. It seemed bad...''Yes. We're all at danger. Especially Eagle and Ryon, who were unaware of the situation.
''Well...Hehe...Yeah. That's exactly it. These people seem crazy, I've seen their faces. They ended their prayers and took their guns, heading home. They're more insane than any Hyperion employee ever combined. They're--'' Hank was explaining the situation to me, when someone stood behind Hank. He had a rifle in his hands, wearing the white prayer coat.
''Who the heck are you? Are you part of the Handsomism cult or what? You look like those damn Vault Hunters, the gods of death and destruction! I am Priest Jake of Handsomism and I won't tolerate someone who isn't related to The Sheriff or Handsome Jack!'' The man said. So, the Vault Hunters are like demons to them?
Hank was sweaty and couldn't say anything out of fear, although he obviously could say something because of his Hyperion ties. Fear is a bitch, ain't it? Of course, it all fell to me...
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven continues
Eagle
(?) You let Travis come with you.
(?) You also let Ryon kill the bandit slowly and painf… moreully, since he's not the PoV in this one, I'm gonna say it now, u mad?
Ah, whatever. I suppose I could let him go to Turretville. Couldn't just leave a talented young assasin like this in a shithole like this camp. So I agreed, nodding and smiling, looking like a kind man I, in fact, was. Travis smiled back and looked at least excited. But after that description of the village he gave me, I did not know what was he excited about. Maybe murder. In that case, I understood him perfectly. I felt a father-son relationship was born! Although I'm 28 and he looks like 22...Oh well, nothing's impossible on Pandora, am I right? Wait, what the hell did I sa--
''Let's go then!'', Travis said. ''Not yet. You know, I'm not alone. There's my friend Ryon somewhere, I won't leave him.'' I replied and he saluted. Oka… [view original content]
the story get weird and even more weird in bad way is hard me to think about
'"YAWWWGH!", I whimpered. That was one step too far. While I was on my knees, my private parts hurt..." just wtf was that?
'Pinky responded and it wasn't that adorable since she had the exact same voice like Claptrap did. Well, that got surely weirder...' like hell it got EXTREMELY weirder.
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven continues
Eagle
(?) You let Travis come with you.
(?) You also let Ryon kill the bandit slowly and painf… moreully, since he's not the PoV in this one, I'm gonna say it now, u mad?
Ah, whatever. I suppose I could let him go to Turretville. Couldn't just leave a talented young assasin like this in a shithole like this camp. So I agreed, nodding and smiling, looking like a kind man I, in fact, was. Travis smiled back and looked at least excited. But after that description of the village he gave me, I did not know what was he excited about. Maybe murder. In that case, I understood him perfectly. I felt a father-son relationship was born! Although I'm 28 and he looks like 22...Oh well, nothing's impossible on Pandora, am I right? Wait, what the hell did I sa--
''Let's go then!'', Travis said. ''Not yet. You know, I'm not alone. There's my friend Ryon somewhere, I won't leave him.'' I replied and he saluted. Oka… [view original content]
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven continues
Eagle
(?) You let Travis come with you.
(?) You also let Ryon kill the bandit slowly and painf… moreully, since he's not the PoV in this one, I'm gonna say it now, u mad?
Ah, whatever. I suppose I could let him go to Turretville. Couldn't just leave a talented young assasin like this in a shithole like this camp. So I agreed, nodding and smiling, looking like a kind man I, in fact, was. Travis smiled back and looked at least excited. But after that description of the village he gave me, I did not know what was he excited about. Maybe murder. In that case, I understood him perfectly. I felt a father-son relationship was born! Although I'm 28 and he looks like 22...Oh well, nothing's impossible on Pandora, am I right? Wait, what the hell did I sa--
''Let's go then!'', Travis said. ''Not yet. You know, I'm not alone. There's my friend Ryon somewhere, I won't leave him.'' I replied and he saluted. Oka… [view original content]
Comments
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven
Eagle
Great. First, we went to a dangerous ride to get to Siren's Heaven, but we didn't, as we were blown up by evil bandits trying to kill us. And now we're at a village of some Handsome Jack worshippers, who kneel before a statue of the deadman and pray to him like he's some sort of a god, even though he was just a simple company leader. That's not how I imagined me being on Pandora. I at least thought everything will be normal besides constant bandit attacks. I was so wrong. Gosh, I hope I will get used to it, because so far it just annoys me. The little funny robot was still talking to Celeste, but I interrupted their little chat.
''Is someone sane here? PLEASE?'', I asked desperately. But seeing the crazy people's prayers I lost all hope. But I could always have hope, right? The robot's eye got a little brighter before it speaked. I scratched my moustache, which had a white colour by the way.
''...Of course, there are more sane people in this village, other than I. But I won't say their names so you'll have a surprise! Come with me, we'll speak to the sanest person in the area! Of course, not counting me!'', robot screamed in excitement.
''Alright...But if he's not really that sane, you're gonna go to the Grinder!'', Celeste threatened it. I thought she likes it? Oh well...Who doesn't she like? He he he. The one-wheeled annoyance led us to one of the biggest houses in the village. The door was locked. I thought it was weird, until a creepy hologram appeared out of nowhere right in front of us.
''Ack!'', Celeste screamed.
''Well...I wouldn't be surprised if the most decent person in this hole is actually a hologram'', Ryon joked. So, the hologram was similiar to a person, that much I know and it is pretty obvious. The man had a hat on top of his head and a slight beard. The hologram had indeed bluish colours, so I couldn't tell much.
''Password, please.'' The man suddenly said.
''Sheriff is love, Sheriff is life.'' The one-wheeled brat mumbled.
''Password accepted. Who are these people you've come with? Don't tell me they forced you into saying the password, Claptrap.'' The hologram replied almost immediately.
''Nope, they're my minions I saved from a certain death and now they must serve me 'til the end of the world!'' Claptrap said and I wanted to punch him...If he's even a male...for saying that I am a minion. I.
''Minions? Really?'' Hank asked, clearly annoyed.
''That's just his nature, friend. Tell me, what do you seek in Turretville? I haven't seen you in here.'' Hologram said.
''But wait, who ARE you?'' Celeste asked.
''I...I am the Sheriff.'' The ghostly figure replied.
THE SHERIFF
''He's the sheriff.''
''Um...Is that your real name?'' I asked, being quite silent during that dumb little talk.
''No...I have forgotten my name years ago. I would tell you to come in, but I can't let you. I am deadly ill. I don't want to infect you, like I did with my fa-- Uhmm, nevermind.'' The Sheriff was telling his tale.
''That's okay. Is there something we can do for you?'' Celeste asked. Can't believe I'm helping a man who didn't even let us to his home and is using his own hologram. But I guess I don't want to be deadly ill.
''Yes. I must be responsible for those crazy people you've probably already seen. I fear that the S4VI0UR Turret you've also probably seen might not be enough. I need you to kill someone - a local bandit clanlord. He hates me and I hate him. I want to have revenge. Kill him and it will be the first step to securing Turretville. If you could, do it with a knife I'll send you in a while.'' The Sheriff said, explaining us our mission. But there was something I needed to say.
''But...we need to get to Siren's Heaven. Securing Turretville is not our mission.'' I said, which might have sounded to be rude, but I needed that clarified.
''Eagle, come on...'' Celeste said, dissapointed.
''He's kinda got a point. I mean, why would we save Handsome Jack's followers? After what he did to Pandora...'' Ryon said.
''If I was still a part of Hyperion, I'd have you punched, Ryon. But I'm not so I agree.'' Hank said, being totally silent few minutes earlier.
''Hrrrm. I thought you, as Vault Hunters, will help me no matter what. But fine. Your reward will be not only better guns, but also a new car that will probably be enough for you to get to Siren's Heaven.'' The Sheriff replied.
''That's what I wanted to hear.'' I replied, sounding kinda douchebaggy, but who cares.
''So...Can you give us the knife?'' Hank asked.
''Of course, but one more thing. I need you to split up. I want two of you to take out Blackhill, the clanlord. He and his douchebags live in a camp in the hills nearby. Meanwhile, two of you stay here and protect Turretville. Just in case. Please.'' The Hologramic Sheriff asked. Splitting up was not probably a good idea, but I wanted to try anyway.
''I can go with Ryon to take down Blackhill.'' I said. Ryon nodded.
''Alright. Everyone cool with that?'' Ryon asked.
''I can stay. I'm pretty interested in this...Handsome Fellowship.'' Celeste replied.
''Not really handsome, if you'd ask me, but yeah, I can stay.'' Hank replied. Suddenly, a platform just flied through a little hole in the door, and on it was the knife mentioned earlier. Before Ryon could grab it, I did.
''I will kill Blackhill, if you may. But you can kill pretty much everyone else.'' I said, waving the knife around to see if it feels good. It felt good.
''Oooooh! Yes, I'll go all for that!'' Ryon yelled, happy. I couldn't believe in his dumbness. He does all the work, I kill the boss and I will get the bigger reward. Hopefully a new sniper rifle, since this one became all rusty. And even if I hate to ditch the weapon I've been using by over ten years back on Earth, it just won't be enough here on Pandora.
''Well then, go, little murderers. We'll be just here in peace while you'll be at constant danger all the time.'' Hank said.
''You'll spit out those words after we'll get back with the bandit's blood on the knife.'' I replied.
Without saying any goodbyes, we left Turretvile and were headed into the direction Sheriff located on our ECHO. We didn't have to look long. The camp was smartly built at the side of the cliff. It seemed dangerous, a hellhole for people with height fear. But I didn't have one. Neither did Ryon, apparently. Before we started shooting, we sat near a lone stone laying on the ground, baking in the sun, thinking of a plan.
''So...We found the camp, but how will we go about killing them? Will we just burst in? They can easily shoot at us from buildings below. The way the camp is built in is really dangerous, mainly for us.'' I shared my doubts.
''Well...You've got a point. So what will we do?'' Ryon asked. After a while of thinking, I smiled maniacally because I came up with a perfect plan. I told it to Ryon and he seemed pretty exciting about doing it. Ah, my brilliance never left me! Time to die, little bandits!
We approached a guarding bandit on top of the cliff, guarding the enter gate to the camp. He pointed his gun at us. But we had something that could interest him.
''Woah, woah, buddy, relax! We're from a new weapon company on Pandora and seeing as our guns are murderous but no one buys them for some reason, we wanted to sell them to you! May we speak with your boss, Blackhill?'' I started my plan with asking a simple question. I expect he will say no.
''Our lord is at the bottom of our camp and he's not to be disturbed! Get out!'' Bandit said, starting to wave his gun around. As I expected. More bandits came to see the show or rather the way in which their pal will handle us.
''Murderous guns with amazing shot speed! You really want us to go away right now?'' I asked.
''Well...What kind of guns do you have?'' The guard asked. Ryon clicked a button on his robotic hand and it turned into a machine gun. I smiled maniacally once again.
''This kind.'' I said, taking my pistol. Ryon already killed the guards and the rest of the bandits that came to watch. Almost immediately we heard another gunshots. We entered the camp. It had multiple staircases going down the camp, down the cliff, you might say. We were killing them all, carefully. I really wanted to gain more loot by simply murdering the boss with a knife. As we were down, one of the bandits surprised Ryon (whose handy machine gun ran out of power and he had to wait. Borderlands, right?) and jumped on his back, trying to axe him. He hit him with his elbow and punched him with the other hand and pointed his rifle at him. Well, was that a failed operation.
''No! Please don't kill me! I have a wife and chi--Okay, I don't have any children but I have pet skags! Please, save my life and I'll show you our secret loot room!'' The bandit pleaded for his life. The word ''loot'' worked on Ryon as ''treat'' on a pet dog. He wouldn't waste that opportunity.
''I'm gonna see that loot, mate. Will you handle the Blackhill?'' Ryon asked. I rolled my eyes.
''Of course, go on.'' I replied and we both went our ways. I went at the bottom of the staircase and I found a huge tent, way bigger than those above. I knew this was it. I also noticed that we were not far from the ground. Anyone with a rocket launcher could kill Blackhill with almost no problems. Too bad The Sheriff didn't mention that...
I entered the tent and saw Blackhill. He was fat, black-skinned lad with blonde hair, which looked pretty hilarious. How could a funny looking guy like him become a leader of anything? Circus, maybe...He seemed to be quite nervous and sweat went down his forehead. I took Sheriff's knife. He took of his hatchet. I smiled. Before we ran into each others throat, we made few circles in the tent in the way Blackhill stood near the entrance to the tent.
''I'm gonna kill your face, Sheriff's cock-licker!'' He said after a while of standing there.
BLACKHILL!
''His name is Mudd. Lol, pretty shitty, isn't it?''
I chuckled. ''You really think this talk is gonna scare me, fatty?''
''Do NOT call me that.'' Blackhill stated, clearly offended.
''You were a good man. Or pretty horrible, if I have to be honest. But it ends now.'' I said.
''When you come back to that shitty Turretville town, tell The Sheriff that he can kiss my--'' He tried to say, but something interrupted him. A bullet in the head. A sniper! Someone shot him. I was scared and proud at that same time. That sniper really knew when to strike...Blackhill was standing near the entrance to the tent, it was perfect. Now he was laying there, dead. But what if the assasin wants to shoot me, too? I stood there, paralyzed.
What should I do?!
[Hide]
[Fire back]
Celeste
Ah, the sweet, sweet silence. Well, if you could call those constant prayers lasting for almost twenty minutes now a silence. I examined the statue. It was indeed Handsome Jack's statue made of pure gold. He was in The Thinker pose. That's lame. Lame and repetitive. The worshippers had white coats on them. They had multiple hair colours. I admit, I was kinda scared to go even near them...
''You checking those crazy asses, Cel?'' Hank asked, totally surprising me. I felt like my heart stopped beating for a second but it was a false feeling.
''Jesus, Hank...I-I guess. They're kinda scary. This prayer lasts for twenty minutes now and no one stopped kneeling, no one went away!'' I shared my fears with Hank.
''Well...They probably didn't even notice we're here. I don't want it to happen, though...What if they shoot us out?'' Hank asked.
''The Sheriff will help us, I'm sure.'' I replied. He nodded. An awkward silence came, until we heard a pathetic voice coming from nearby. It sounded like ''oooh ooh oooh'' in a robotic voice. Claptrap?
''Maybe go check what it is. Scream if something happens, I'll help you'' Hank said. I nodded with a furious look. Why me? Is that because I kinda started to like the little robot? Pffft. I will punish Hank one day, I promise. Anyway, I went into Turretville's alleyway and as I thought, it was Claptrap.
''What are you doing, Claptrap?'' I asked.
''Oh, you heard my lament...That's good. I need help. And only a girl can help. I have some...love problems.'' He replied with a saddened voice.
''Love problems? Okay, that's...odd...but tell me, what can I do?'' I kept asking. Claptrap's love problems. Great.
''There's a female Claptrap unit called Pinkytrap. I wanted to confess love to her and I meant to do it today, but her weird ass owner treats her like gold-worth pet and won't let me! What, poor I, can do?'' Claptrap lamented. Really? That...that was fucking pathetic.
''And I am supposed to do...what, exactly?'' I asked.
''I know Pinkytrap loves me back, but I need that confession to make sure! But that freaky gal, her owner, won't let me! If you could make her owner to let me in, I'll give you loot, amazing loot! Will you help?'' Claptrap replied.
Claptrap love problems. Hahahahahah.
[Accept Claptrap's mission]
[Decline Claptrap's mission]
GOD PLEASE NO Hataraku Maou-sama!
Holy crap that was great! My choices would be:
[Hide]
&
[Accept Claptrap's Mission]
[Hide] and [Accept Claptrap's mission]
Claptrap is love, claptrap is life
[Hide]
[Accept Claptrap's mission]
[Hide]
[Accept Claptrap's mission]
I know how Crips devious mind it will sequence us.... he is EVIL frist let use rewind choice so far
[Hide] and [Fire back] so he want us to kill our characters, let assume the answer is [Hide] that mean they will hide and wait for my character your characters to show up and them he can perform stealth kill so our characters can not fight back, for his maximum enjoy
Then here come the second one [Accept Claptrap's mission] and [Decline Claptrap's mission] if you [Accept Claptrap's mission] this 'mission' is an excuse to mock or make fun of our characters that is totally insulting for poor girl.
and if you [Decline Claptrap's mission] you start to fell bad for Claptrap so he have fun of you as living person.
NOW THE BIG PROF I HAVE SO FAR is this image that is admit she like it
Holy crap......
You're smarter than I thought, minion.
my dear worship fist of all my Arialex is so cute, sweet, hot, sexy girl 'KAWAII' if you read in that thread about my girl and you give a s*it about any characters you should know that she have companion/pet an Wolf name simple Ki so as I know about borderlands from my studies in Ethology and Biology there is NO Wolfs so you can replace him with loyal bloody Skag that will probably eat me in next episode.
[Hide]
[Accept Claptrap's mission]
Wow! I still can't get over how high the quality of the writing is. I mean, really, this is worth of a real Borderlands game. Congratulations; you're really talented! Anyway, these are my choices:
[Hide]
[Accept Claptrap's mission]
[Hide]
[Accept Claptrap's mission]
Amazing Chapter!!!
I can tell right off the bat that this fanfic is gonna be good.
Also, one quick question: Was that the end of Ep. 1?
No. That was the first part of Episode 1. Episodes will be much much longer.
Thank you so, so much!
Hi! I've sent you another character (Shamey Box). Tell me what you think about him!
He's...interesting!
I'll have a good use for him.
Great!
Voting closed. Eagle will hide and Celeste will accept Claptrap's mission.
The chapter is done and I'm posting it right now.
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven continues
Ryon
Before I start my point of view, I must say that the previous narrators are barely reliable. They explain things pretty good, but they never stated their appearance, probably afraid of their ugliness. So let me just sum this up real quick. Cel has silver, short hair and violet eyes and purple Siren tatoos. She also had shoes with feathers taped to them, because you know, she can run a lot. Pfft. Hank wears a golden Hyperion uniform and by ''golden'' I mean it has a golden colour. Eagle wears a black coat, has white thick moustache and very short hair, barely visible from the hood. But I am the handsomest of them all. I am big, muscular, in an orange shirt that makes everything better, long brown hair and a clock on my wrist. Hell yeah, take me, all the women listening to me!
Anyway, what was I supposed to tell? Ah, yes. My tales at the Blackhill Camp. I showed mercy for the bandit trying to assasinate me and he, in return, led me to a secret loot room. Ah, loot, I love you so much! Once, I was given a choice between a better gun or a better shield. Easy peasy. I took the gun, obviously, but I did not realize it was a Hyperion shotgun that had some sort of AI in there and talked...talked, talked and talked and sometimes even offended me. So I broke the gun, killing the AI and then gave it to Marcus for repairs. Although he treated it as a refund back then, I explained him the situation and he agreed. I never left that shotgun ever since Marcus gave it back. Ah, memories! Well, anyway, I found myself at the room full of loot crates. That was...beautiful! Although the room was made of rusty iron that stank and it did not make the loot as beautiful as it was, I was still amused. I kneeled to open one. A corrosive pistol! Holy shit! I might leave this pistol for this one! I was so thankful to the bandit, at least for a little while...
...until that fucker attacked me. Punched me in the face as I took the corrosive pistol and he made me drop it. When I was on the floor, he tried to choke me. ''Surprise, motherfucker! Die!'', he yelled but I head-butted him and he fell. I picked up the corrosive pistol and aimed at him, but he grabbed my hand and when I pulled the trigger, he made me already aim at something else, which obviously made me miss. So I kicked him in the balls and punched him in the face. But before I could shoot him, he quickly stood up and charged at me, which made me miss again and, what's worse, drop the weapon. We struggled a bit to get the gun. He picked it up and before I even stood up, he aimed at me and pulled the trigger.
I closed my eyes, ready to die in this stupid way, but in the matter of those few seconds, I already accepted it. When I realized I was still alive and kickin' with no bullet hole found in my body, I realized something else. I had a shield on. Of course! This shield saved my life. Confused bandit stood there, making himself an easy target. So I charged at him and we both dropped onto a floor, me slowly choking him.
''You made a huge mistake, junior. Say, how do you wanna die? I've got a lot of proposals...And no mercy anymore. All of this loot...the cash, the guns, the shields and the porn magazines...They're all mine'' I threatened him.
''Phhhr...Slag you...Vault Fuckers like you deserve nothing!'' He replied.
''You're getting way out of line. And I asked a question. HOW do you want to die?'' I asked again.
''Screw you.'' The bandit still offended me. Oh, this oughta be good...
[Kill him slowly and painfully]
[Shoot his brains out]
Eagle
(?) You hid. Pffft.
Holy frickin' crap, I was paralyzed out of fear for a moment but when the feeling was gone, I quickly hid in a big box nearby. It was a horrible hideout, but assuming he didn't see me, I was able to surprise him. I took out my pistol just in case. I waited few moments and heard him stepping in. I focused on what I heard...and I heard nothing much. The sniper, from what I assumed, looked around for few minutes...What was he looking for? Because of the lack of air in the box, I had to open it. I jumped out of it and pointed my pistol at the attacker. I wish Ryon was with me, which was kinda...weird, knowing my pal's temper.
''Wh-Who are you?!'' The man yelled and pointed his sniper rifle at me. He had brown hair and blue eyes and his outfit suggested that he is indeed an assasin. I smiled. There's never enough killers for hire. I felt like we could have a great relationship. Wait, not in that kind of way. I meant friendship, okay? Whatever. He noticed my smile. ''I am Eagle'', I said.
''Travis...But what are you doing here? Are you a bandit, Eagle?'' He asked. Did I really look like a bandit? I was just about to kill one. Ah, that reminded me to ask something very, very, very important.
TRAVIS!
Knows how to get shit done.
''You actually stole my target. Why?'' I asked. Ah, stealing a frag. It is a very serious crime, especially if you're a known killer and someone just does your job. In other situations, it would be fine, but it's about my pride and profession. I value it more than life (since I take lifes). Travis looked like he was in early twenties and I probably was right. He seemed kind a smart. Being kind was very dangerous on Pandora, but it was a danger you would face, not your enemy. It probably would get you killed. And smashed. And grinded. Looks like Travis got the picture, since he stared at me for almost few minutes. He realized his question about me being a bandit was kinda stupid, since I was trying to kill him.
''I...needed to that, Eagle, I am sorry. I heard he had debts for my father. He...He could've had a motive for his assasination. There, I said it.'' Travis replied, frustrated and sad at the same time.
''So you shoot before you question? I like that. So you want to assasin an assasin. Good luck. I need to get back to Turretville.'' I said, approaching Blackhill's dead body and stabbing it with the knife. In this way, I could lie and no one would ever find proof that I haven't killed him. I'd do anything for at least some more money. Getting a knife kill would surely make me more wealthy.
''You actually live in Turretville, the town of the psycho Handsome Jack worshippers? That's...I gotta tell you, that's really low. But it's always a safe place. Say, couldn't I go with you? I have no way to get back at my home, seeing the bandit parade all over the place. One sniper can't get through a horde of bad guys. I'm tired of sleeping on a rocky ground, and living with the psycho Hyperion worshippers probably isn't very comfortable either, but it's better. Please?'' Travis asked. I dunno, he was still a stranger. And he stole my kill. If I wasn't that brilliant, I could not get away from it. But he seems good at talented...He'd make a beautiful Vault Hunter.
[Let Travis come with you]
[Leave Travis alone]
Celeste
(?) You accepted Claptrap's mission. Again, why?
''Fine. I will help you with your heart problems. If you even have a heart'' I replied to Claptrap's request. Of course, it was dumb as hell and I regretted it ever since, but I wanted to be nice, since I grew to like him (although it didn't seem like it). And I was a girl!
''Yay! Thank you so much! I will reward you for it! My sweety pie lives in the house over there! The creepy owner won't open the door for you, of that I'm sure, so get through the window like a true ninja! Go on minion!'' Claptraip said, almost exploding from excitement, pointing at a house with his little robotic arm! I gave him a quick nod and went my way. I climbed a Dahl dumpster and climbed through the window which was surprisingly opened. The inside was dark, the deeper I went, the less I could see. Suddenly, something started to punch me in the face. Really, a mysterious figure showed up, punched me in the face few times and ran away. I was a little pissed and scared.
''Show your face!'' I yelled, but I heard only silence. I went a little bit further but nothing could be seen, nothing could be heard. And another punches came out of nowhere and this time they were so hard I fell onto the ground. Angry and hurt, I stood up. I felt like the figure is running in my direction again to send me some punches again...But I used my siren power. My tatoos glowed with purple light and my eyes got incredibly shiny. In a minute I could defend myself from the punches and hurt the attacker. I switched on the light, since I saw the panel. It was a man. He had a helmet, a dark suit and his pants had...rainbows on it. What the actual fuck...
''You're a Siren, huh? I didn't expect that...I am Sordo...And you just entered my possesion.'' The attacker said. My tatoos stopped shining and I fell on my knees, tired.
SORDO!
Guns are for pussies
''Celeste...And I am here for Pinkytrap. She needs to meet with Claptrap'' I replied.
''Ah, this...You could've said so from the very beginning. Of course, she can go out. Since you already proved you're powerful enough to make me.'' Sordo replied. I was a little surprised.
''And that's it? No challenge?'' I asked.
''That depends if you want a challenge.'' He replied.
Do I? I mean, I've got nothing better to do until Ryon and Eagle come back...But it could be very painful. I don't like pain.
[''Yes, I want a challenge.'']
[''Err, no...But thanks for asking.'']
Yay sordo was introduced!
Anyway [Shoot his brains out] [Let Travis come with you] ["Yes, I want a challenge."]
Great part! I like Sordo, he seems like a great person
[Kill him slowly and painfully]
[Let Travis come with you]
[''Yes, I want a challenge.'']
[Kill him slowly and painfully]
[Let Travis come with you]
[''Yes, I want a challenge.'']
This chapter was fucking great! I love how my character (Travis) turned out
[Kill him slowly and painfully]
[Let Travis come with you]
[''Yes, I want a challenge.'']
[Kill him slowly and painfully]
[Let Travis come with you]
[''Yes, I want a challenge.'']
Awesome Chapter!!!
[Shoot his brains out]
[Let Travis come with you]
["Yes, I want a challenge."]
Pure awesomeness!
[Shoot his brains out]
[Let Travis come with you]
["Yes, I want a challenge"]
I've sent you my last character (Humanag)! He's a bit strange, so I don't know if you might like him or not.
He is but I like him
Interesting!
When is the next part coming? I'm sorry but these are so good.
Voting closed. Ryon will kill him slowly and painfully, Eagle will let Travis go to Turretville and Celeste will accept the challenge.
New chapter coming today. I had a terrible headache yesterday and couldn't write anything.
Great! I'm sorry about your headache, by the way. I hope you're feeling better.
Thanks, I'm alright now :P
Episode 1 - Siren's Heaven continues
Eagle
(?) You let Travis come with you.
(?) You also let Ryon kill the bandit slowly and painfully, since he's not the PoV in this one, I'm gonna say it now, u mad?
Ah, whatever. I suppose I could let him go to Turretville. Couldn't just leave a talented young assasin like this in a shithole like this camp. So I agreed, nodding and smiling, looking like a kind man I, in fact, was. Travis smiled back and looked at least excited. But after that description of the village he gave me, I did not know what was he excited about. Maybe murder. In that case, I understood him perfectly. I felt a father-son relationship was born! Although I'm 28 and he looks like 22...Oh well, nothing's impossible on Pandora, am I right? Wait, what the hell did I sa--
''Let's go then!'', Travis said. ''Not yet. You know, I'm not alone. There's my friend Ryon somewhere, I won't leave him.'' I replied and he saluted. Okay, now I felt amazing and sexy. Like a boss! We left the tent and actually, we didn't search for long. He approached us with his shirt being all bloody and he wore an...intestine as a scarf? Okay then, I did not expect that...
''What the heck, Ryon...?'' I asked. Travis felt kinda uneasy, I could see that.
''Ah, I...I got the loot, but I had to fight for it. Totally. It's all in my backpack now. We can use it or sell it now.'' Ryon replied.
''Alright, but stop wearing this intestine, alright...?'' I asked. It was just a simple request. I mean, it wasn't normal...Or it was, on Pandora. Hell, I don't even know anymore!
''Looks like I'm becoming a part of an amazing group, am I not?'' Travis asked.
''You'll see when you meet Celeste and Hank, the rest of our crew.'' I replied, smiling. I kinda couldn't wait to see them myself. It was forever. Are they doing okay in Turretville? Well, we sure as hell were about to find out...
Celeste
(?) You agreed to take a challenge from Sordo although you could just get Pinkytrap, idiot.
There's never enough challenges to get and complete! Although, from what I could tell about Sordo, it wouldn't be an easy one. But I wasn't seeking for an easy challenge. I wanted something fun. I just really hoped it wouldn't get me hurt. The punches he gave me earlier were really painful. Does he not know that you can't punch girls? I had to teach that frickin' peasant a lesson.
''Yes, I want a challenge.'' I said with a poker face. Sordo stood up and even though I couldn't see from his helmet, I was sure he was smiling. And I was about to wipe that smile off his invisible face. BUA HA HA HA HA!
''Well then, that's brave of you. I could just let Pinkytrap go with you, but if you're so stubborn...I want you to defeat me in a melee duel without your Siren powers activated. And no guns. I know you have them somewhere in your pocket, but I don't even look at them. They're for pussies. You're not a pussy, are ya, Siren?'' Sordo asked. Well, of course not, but without my Siren powers, a melee duel could be...well, difficult. And painful. But I couldn't just take an easy answer and not accept the challenge. Hank is gonna be worried about me though, won't he?
''Of course I'm not. And I won't allow calling me in that way.'' I replied and felt that Sordo smiled again.
''Well then, let's continue. I'm gonna ease it up a little for ya, Siren. I won't turn off the light this time, he he he.'' He responded and I nodded. Thanks for the help, gentleman, I'm so happy about it, praise you! Grrr. That little helmet boy started to annoy me. Well, it was about to end. I was able to kick his ass in a bright room.
He showed me that it's about time we should start by a hand gesture. I got my fists ready. He delivered the first punch I wasn't able to defend because of his speed. Well, what a great start. But I now knew how I should act. So while I was trying to stand up, he ran to me to deliver a punch to my gut but I kicked him, did a frontflip while standing on my hands and got back on my legs in a time of few seconds and punched him trice. He grabbed my wrists and threw me at the wall. I knocked his painting off. Wait, he had his own painting in his house? Lol, okay. I grabbed the painting and while he was running at me, I punched him with it and he fell on the ground but kicked me in the crotch.
''YAWWWGH!'', I whimpered. That was one step too far. While I was on my knees, my private parts hurt, he started to punch me and kick me in the face. It hurt and with each punch, I got more angry. And I got that angry I stood up and he ran for me, I punched him in the face. And before he fell onto the ground from pain, I managed to punch him yet six times and deformed his helmet. He fell on his hands and barely moving, shaking like jelly, he managed to whisper something to me.
''You won, Siren.'' He was clearly not happy about that. Well, I did stain his pride. But that's his fault. He proposed me this challenge and I accepted. I could felt rage and a bit of sadness in his words. Maybe that's because I deformed his helmet from the seven quick punches I delivered to him? Probably. Well, he was a mysterious man. ''Pinkytrap! Go with that lady!'' He yelled and a Claptrap unit showed up. It was completely pink and a bit rusty. Pinkytrap didn't respond. Maybe she was afraid of her owner? Who knows. At least I ended it.
I opened the door and she followed me. I got back into the alleyway I met Claptrap at. He was so happy to see her with me. And bruises on my face just showed that I was trying real hard!
''Pinkytrap! How I'm happy to see you! I sent my minion to retrieve you from that creepy Sordo guy and here you are! I need to tell you something...It's important. Y-You make my heart go wub wub!'' Claptrap flirted. That was kinda adorable.
''Oh, Clappie, all the trouble to say something I already knew? I like you, too. Let's go somewhere. Sordo for sure won't look for me and kill you when he finds us! Please!'' Pinky responded and it wasn't that adorable since she had the exact same voice like Claptrap did. Well, that got surely weirder...
''Just one second, love! Hey, minion. Because of how your mission went amazingly splendid, you can, in reward, rob my dumpster! That's where I hide all the loot. Don't search for me and don't tell Sordo! I'm going at the end of the world with Pinky here!'' Claptrap said to me. I smiled, nodded and wished them good luck, although they had exactly the same voice...Okay, that will haunt me for few next nights...
When they went away, I opened the dumpster which was almost empty. When I saw what was there, I sighed and rolled my eyes. Old rusty toy pistols and old Runner parts, probably stolen from Scooter's Catch-A-Ride. Figures.
And I would probably still think about how I regretted taking Claptrap's mission until Hank ran to me. He was sweaty and terrified. ''What the heck happened, Hank?'' I asked. Something was going on, I could feel it. ''Th-The worshippers stopped praying. They're gonna notice us.'' He replied. ''Oh shit. Does that mean...'' I was unsure about the situation. It seemed bad...''Yes. We're all at danger. Especially Eagle and Ryon, who were unaware of the situation.
''Well...Hehe...Yeah. That's exactly it. These people seem crazy, I've seen their faces. They ended their prayers and took their guns, heading home. They're more insane than any Hyperion employee ever combined. They're--'' Hank was explaining the situation to me, when someone stood behind Hank. He had a rifle in his hands, wearing the white prayer coat.
''Who the heck are you? Are you part of the Handsomism cult or what? You look like those damn Vault Hunters, the gods of death and destruction! I am Priest Jake of Handsomism and I won't tolerate someone who isn't related to The Sheriff or Handsome Jack!'' The man said. So, the Vault Hunters are like demons to them?
Hank was sweaty and couldn't say anything out of fear, although he obviously could say something because of his Hyperion ties. Fear is a bitch, ain't it? Of course, it all fell to me...
[We'd like to join the Handsomism cult.]
[We're actually related to Handsome Jack...]
[We're related to The Sheriff.]
[We're actually related to Handsome Jack...]
Lol, why not?
[We're actually related to Handsome Jack...]
I love how you write! Good job and keep up the good work!
[We'd like to join the Handsomism cult.]
the story get weird and even more weird in bad way is hard me to think about
'"YAWWWGH!", I whimpered. That was one step too far. While I was on my knees, my private parts hurt..." just wtf was that?
'Pinky responded and it wasn't that adorable since she had the exact same voice like Claptrap did. Well, that got surely weirder...' like hell it got EXTREMELY weirder.
Priest Jake of Handsomism....Lol
[We're actually related to Handsome Jack]
Nice and funny chapter! I laughed out loud at some parts!
[We're actually related to Handsome Jack...]