Chapter 2: Taking Care Of Business
Daniel Lockston
I stood in the elevator, straightening up my tie as I readied myself for the busine… moress meeting. My name was Daniel Lockston, and I was getting prepared for my promotion at Hyperion.
I calmly and cooly stared at the elevator buttons, the light surrounding the circle that read 30. I then looked at my fellow friend in the elevator, a small, fragile looking man with a briefcase in his hands, positively shaking with fear. He wore green-tinted glasses and had a small goatee, but otherwise appeared to be quite intelligent. "Hey." I patted him on the back and he jumped a little, then looked at me with a "did you just touch me" look.
"Huh? Um, what?" The small man with the goatee asked, and I looked at him in that same collected emotion as I had before. "I'm having a meeting with Handsome Jack himself."
The man looked at me and nodded, slightly nervous and perhaps even bored with this co… [view original content]
"Nikolai. You know what to do." I quickly told my Russian friend, who in turn devilishly smiled. "Nikolai make Hyperion go boom." He said, and I looked over at the soldier. "Hey! Jackass!" I called out to him, and he turned around to look at me.
I then proceeded to hold up a middle finger. "Wow. Okay. That was uncalled for, I can't believe you just did that-" The soldier was interrupted as Nikolai came flying into him and using one hand and diving them through the helmet and into the soldier's eyes. "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ my eyes!" The soldier screamed, and Nikolai threw him to the ground and picked up the assault rifle he had been carrying. "Let us kill these assholes." Nikolai stated, and I nodded my head. "Oh. Yeah." I repeated, seeming to think that some other protagonists have already said this. Eh.
I followed behind Nikolai as two Hyperion guards began to turn around the hallway. "Kevin? You okay back here? We heard you screaming about something-oh God no!" The soldier screamed as a bullet flew through his head, and then into the other soldier's brain went a bullet flying. "I gotta say, you are remarkable my foreign friend!" I told Nikolai, and Nikolai continued to have a straight face, uh, straight ahead. "Back in Czech Republic Nikolai find man that try and steal slice of bread from Nikolai. Nikolai roasted man on spit, then Nikolai fed man to bear."
I smiled at Nikolai's story. "This guy. This guy is awesome." I said, as we stepped down the hallways and a red light began to shine just overhead. "WARNING. TWO MEN SEEN ESCAPING MORTAR PODS. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT MORTAR PODS ARE JUST CODE FOR DROP PODS, BRAVE HYPERION WORKERS. THE TWO MEN THAT NEED TO BE KILLED ARE KNOWN AS NIKOLAI IVANOSKY AND DANIEL LOCKSTON. YOU ARE TO SHOOT ON SIGHT. THANK YOU, AND HAVE A NICE DAY." A robotic female voice told us, and I looked over at Nikolai in surprise. "We need to go!" I yelled, and the two of us ran down the hallway. A few Hyperion soldiers ran down the way, but Nikolai shot them down quickly.
"Nikolai faster then bear from Soviet Russia. Ha. Nikolai eat most bears for breakfast. He go hunt bear in forest and break neck, then drag inside home and eat. Bear easy. Hyperion soldier easier." I had no idea what Nikolai was rambling on about now, so I just ignored him. We ran down the hallways more, until we approached a large sign hanging above a doorway that said REALLY DROP PODS NOT MORTAR SHELLS SERIOUSLY. We rushed in, and I hopped inside one of the drop pods, searching for a way to start them. All that there were were three numbers. "Oh, not this bullshit again!" I cried out, and turned around to see Nikolai hopping inside the two seater drop pod. He was shooting Hyperion soldiers away, but I knew I needed to hurry up.
[Russian man go kill other man.]
"Nikolai. You know what to do." I quickly told my Russian friend, who in turn devilishly smiled. "Nikola… morei make Hyperion go boom." He said, and I looked over at the soldier. "Hey! Jackass!" I called out to him, and he turned around to look at me.
I then proceeded to hold up a middle finger. "Wow. Okay. That was uncalled for, I can't believe you just did that-" The soldier was interrupted as Nikolai came flying into him and using one hand and diving them through the helmet and into the soldier's eyes. "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ my eyes!" The soldier screamed, and Nikolai threw him to the ground and picked up the assault rifle he had been carrying. "Let us kill these assholes." Nikolai stated, and I nodded my head. "Oh. Yeah." I repeated, seeming to think that some other protagonists have already said this. Eh.
I followed behind Nikolai as two Hyperion guards began to turn around the hallway. "Kevin? Y… [view original content]
[Russian man go kill other man.]
"Nikolai. You know what to do." I quickly told my Russian friend, who in turn devilishly smiled. "Nikola… morei make Hyperion go boom." He said, and I looked over at the soldier. "Hey! Jackass!" I called out to him, and he turned around to look at me.
I then proceeded to hold up a middle finger. "Wow. Okay. That was uncalled for, I can't believe you just did that-" The soldier was interrupted as Nikolai came flying into him and using one hand and diving them through the helmet and into the soldier's eyes. "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ my eyes!" The soldier screamed, and Nikolai threw him to the ground and picked up the assault rifle he had been carrying. "Let us kill these assholes." Nikolai stated, and I nodded my head. "Oh. Yeah." I repeated, seeming to think that some other protagonists have already said this. Eh.
I followed behind Nikolai as two Hyperion guards began to turn around the hallway. "Kevin? Y… [view original content]
[Russian man go kill other man.]
"Nikolai. You know what to do." I quickly told my Russian friend, who in turn devilishly smiled. "Nikola… morei make Hyperion go boom." He said, and I looked over at the soldier. "Hey! Jackass!" I called out to him, and he turned around to look at me.
I then proceeded to hold up a middle finger. "Wow. Okay. That was uncalled for, I can't believe you just did that-" The soldier was interrupted as Nikolai came flying into him and using one hand and diving them through the helmet and into the soldier's eyes. "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ my eyes!" The soldier screamed, and Nikolai threw him to the ground and picked up the assault rifle he had been carrying. "Let us kill these assholes." Nikolai stated, and I nodded my head. "Oh. Yeah." I repeated, seeming to think that some other protagonists have already said this. Eh.
I followed behind Nikolai as two Hyperion guards began to turn around the hallway. "Kevin? Y… [view original content]
[Russian man go kill other man.]
"Nikolai. You know what to do." I quickly told my Russian friend, who in turn devilishly smiled. "Nikola… morei make Hyperion go boom." He said, and I looked over at the soldier. "Hey! Jackass!" I called out to him, and he turned around to look at me.
I then proceeded to hold up a middle finger. "Wow. Okay. That was uncalled for, I can't believe you just did that-" The soldier was interrupted as Nikolai came flying into him and using one hand and diving them through the helmet and into the soldier's eyes. "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ my eyes!" The soldier screamed, and Nikolai threw him to the ground and picked up the assault rifle he had been carrying. "Let us kill these assholes." Nikolai stated, and I nodded my head. "Oh. Yeah." I repeated, seeming to think that some other protagonists have already said this. Eh.
I followed behind Nikolai as two Hyperion guards began to turn around the hallway. "Kevin? Y… [view original content]
[Russian man go kill other man.]
"Nikolai. You know what to do." I quickly told my Russian friend, who in turn devilishly smiled. "Nikola… morei make Hyperion go boom." He said, and I looked over at the soldier. "Hey! Jackass!" I called out to him, and he turned around to look at me.
I then proceeded to hold up a middle finger. "Wow. Okay. That was uncalled for, I can't believe you just did that-" The soldier was interrupted as Nikolai came flying into him and using one hand and diving them through the helmet and into the soldier's eyes. "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ my eyes!" The soldier screamed, and Nikolai threw him to the ground and picked up the assault rifle he had been carrying. "Let us kill these assholes." Nikolai stated, and I nodded my head. "Oh. Yeah." I repeated, seeming to think that some other protagonists have already said this. Eh.
I followed behind Nikolai as two Hyperion guards began to turn around the hallway. "Kevin? Y… [view original content]
[Russian man go kill other man.]
"Nikolai. You know what to do." I quickly told my Russian friend, who in turn devilishly smiled. "Nikola… morei make Hyperion go boom." He said, and I looked over at the soldier. "Hey! Jackass!" I called out to him, and he turned around to look at me.
I then proceeded to hold up a middle finger. "Wow. Okay. That was uncalled for, I can't believe you just did that-" The soldier was interrupted as Nikolai came flying into him and using one hand and diving them through the helmet and into the soldier's eyes. "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ my eyes!" The soldier screamed, and Nikolai threw him to the ground and picked up the assault rifle he had been carrying. "Let us kill these assholes." Nikolai stated, and I nodded my head. "Oh. Yeah." I repeated, seeming to think that some other protagonists have already said this. Eh.
I followed behind Nikolai as two Hyperion guards began to turn around the hallway. "Kevin? Y… [view original content]
Hey there Kiddos! Did one of you call for one of thoose old fashioned bump thingies? Well too bad. you're not getting one. That;ll show them bandits...
I quickly slammed my fist into the third button, as a crackle popped over the radio. Wait, drop pods had radios? "Who da hell jus' woke me up?" A sassy woman suddenly blurted out over the drop pod's radio, and I stared down at it. "What?!" I replied, as the radio began to speak back. "Yo! Fool, what you tryin' here?" The sassy black woman once again cried out, and I began to speak to her again. "Okay. So, what are you?" It was a bit hard to hear myself over all of the gunfire, but the radio was perfectly audible. "Me? What am I? I am LaShonda, I'll have you know, and I am a certifiable Drop Pod AI Chip, option number three."
Before I could respond to LaShonda, I was interrupted by the large body of Nikolai falling from the air. He landed in the drop pod, and I could see that a Hyperion soldier had knocked him over with the butt of his gun. Before anything else could happen, LaShonda fired off into the deep abyss that is known as space, and towards the desert planet that was known as Pandora. "No! Not there! Send me off to space! Send me into a black hole! Hell! I'll be Donald Trump's slave for a few months! Anywhere but Pandora!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it appeared that Nikolai was looking at me funny. "What is matter, Daniel? Two minutes before you good with Pandora, but now?"
"The place I was going to go was going to be safe! Kind of! At least I wouldn't have been screwed by bandits or killed by a bullymong!"
"Sugar, you don't know what you're in for." LaShonda stated, and I put my head into my palms as we entered Pandora's atmosphere. Instantly I could tell that the air was shifting, and the air was shifting for a much worse turn. No longer the clean, pine tree smell of the Hyperion offices, but now a strange musty smell from Pandora. Like an Irish Cowboy. Yeah, that was Pandora's smell. An Irish Cowboy.
As my strange thoughts of Pandora's smell were racking trough my brain, the drop pod was being covered in a thick sheet of ice, snow, and perhaps a few bodily fluids. Whatever the form, it was certainly wearing down in the drop pod. The metal case shifted and shook, and I fell over into my seat as LaShonda began to speak over the radio once more. "Oh, it is freezing out there! Looks like we in the Southern Shelf honey." I felt the drop pod hit the ground, as it swung us around and around, before finally resting to a stop.
The pod's door opened, the metal rising up into the air, causing steam to rise off of it's hot edges. "Thanks for riding with us honey! Hope you come back soon!" LaShonda called out, and I quickly climbed from the pod and into the cold snow. "This remind you of home, Nikolai?" I called out to the Russian, who shook his head. "No, not really." He said, and I shrugged, looking at our surroundings. Looked like a major blizzard was occurring, as I couldn't see for crap. "Knew I should have packed a sweater." I told myself, grabbing my arms in a futile attempt to keep warm. Just before me and Nikolai could decide what to do next, LaShonda's drop pod lifted up into the air, and zoomed off. "See ya'll later! Or probably not, as Hyperion's gonna want ya'lls heads on a stake!" The encouraging AI soon disappeared from site, headed back to the station. "Great. Amazing! Absolutely amazing! Not only are we stuck in ice world, we're being hunted by Hyperion, the biggest baddest corporation that ever was! Handsome Jack is trying to kill us! Hey, at least we can choose our own death! I could slowly freeze to death, I could be slowly tortured by bandits to death, or I could be shot by a Hyperion firing squad and then slowly die while shitting and pissing myself!" I screamed finally, and Nikolai shook his head. "You worry too much little man."
"Oh, do not call me a little man!" I yelled angrily, and Nikolai took his large hand and clenched it around my shirt collar, pulling me into the air. "Okay, okay, I'm a little man, I'm the littlest man there is!" I rasped, and he let me fall back to the ground. "Not true. Man named Larry King is littlest man I've ever seen. I could crush him with my pinky." He replied to my comment, then began walking into the snow storm. "Yeah! Okay! Don't worry, the death of talk show hosts makes me feel all warm inside too!" I said, trying my best not to sound sarcastic as the hulking behemoth would likely succeed in killing me next time. I scurried after him, walking beside of Nikolai. "So, are you used to the cold?"
"Yes. Nikolai live in bear cave for two years, only living off of berries and fish I caught."
"Oh, did you make a fishing rod or something, that's pretty resourceful-"
"I catch fish in my mouth near waterfall. Then I eat them alive."
"Oh, okay, that's nice too."
"Did I ever tell you about Nikolai's little sister?"
"Oh, no you haven't."
"Nikolai hated little sister. After Nikolai's parents died, Yvette was all Nikolai had left. So I ate her."
"How did you hate her, if you, uh, ate her, excuse the rhyming."
"She was a little tough. Plus she would not stop screaming."
"Okay, glad for that bonding moment we just had."
"Yes. Nikolai glad too."
It was silent for a few moments, and then I decided once more to speak up. "So, you not gonna ask me my backstory?"
"Nikolai does not care."
"So, it all started in the Summer of-"
Nikolai put a palm to my face as he pointed down at a small clearing ahead of us. I realized we were now near a ledge, and I could hear voices and see a few things down below us. Distinctly human things.
"Boom boom baby!" A midget with a welder's mask cried out, as a bandits tied to a stake began to scream. "Please! I didn't mean it when I said you look like a tiny dick! It's not because you do, which, you don't, it was just me being stupid! Come on, Bewm! We can be friends again!"
The midget, apparently Bewm, stared at him and very likely smiled under his mask. "Boooooommmm!" He yelled, before pressing a detonator and watched as the bandit exploded into a million bloody chunks. "Holy shit." I said, watching he terrifying scene play out down below. I watched as Nikolai raised his rifle, apparently about to shoot. Oh crap, this could be bad...
[Three!]
I quickly slammed my fist into the third button, as a crackle popped over the radio. Wait, drop pods had radios? "Who da hell ju… mores' woke me up?" A sassy woman suddenly blurted out over the drop pod's radio, and I stared down at it. "What?!" I replied, as the radio began to speak back. "Yo! Fool, what you tryin' here?" The sassy black woman once again cried out, and I began to speak to her again. "Okay. So, what are you?" It was a bit hard to hear myself over all of the gunfire, but the radio was perfectly audible. "Me? What am I? I am LaShonda, I'll have you know, and I am a certifiable Drop Pod AI Chip, option number three."
Before I could respond to LaShonda, I was interrupted by the large body of Nikolai falling from the air. He landed in the drop pod, and I could see that a Hyperion soldier had knocked him over with the butt of his gun. Before anything else could happen, LaShonda fired off into the deep abyss that is known a… [view original content]
[Three!]
I quickly slammed my fist into the third button, as a crackle popped over the radio. Wait, drop pods had radios? "Who da hell ju… mores' woke me up?" A sassy woman suddenly blurted out over the drop pod's radio, and I stared down at it. "What?!" I replied, as the radio began to speak back. "Yo! Fool, what you tryin' here?" The sassy black woman once again cried out, and I began to speak to her again. "Okay. So, what are you?" It was a bit hard to hear myself over all of the gunfire, but the radio was perfectly audible. "Me? What am I? I am LaShonda, I'll have you know, and I am a certifiable Drop Pod AI Chip, option number three."
Before I could respond to LaShonda, I was interrupted by the large body of Nikolai falling from the air. He landed in the drop pod, and I could see that a Hyperion soldier had knocked him over with the butt of his gun. Before anything else could happen, LaShonda fired off into the deep abyss that is known a… [view original content]
[Three!]
I quickly slammed my fist into the third button, as a crackle popped over the radio. Wait, drop pods had radios? "Who da hell ju… mores' woke me up?" A sassy woman suddenly blurted out over the drop pod's radio, and I stared down at it. "What?!" I replied, as the radio began to speak back. "Yo! Fool, what you tryin' here?" The sassy black woman once again cried out, and I began to speak to her again. "Okay. So, what are you?" It was a bit hard to hear myself over all of the gunfire, but the radio was perfectly audible. "Me? What am I? I am LaShonda, I'll have you know, and I am a certifiable Drop Pod AI Chip, option number three."
Before I could respond to LaShonda, I was interrupted by the large body of Nikolai falling from the air. He landed in the drop pod, and I could see that a Hyperion soldier had knocked him over with the butt of his gun. Before anything else could happen, LaShonda fired off into the deep abyss that is known a… [view original content]
[Three!]
I quickly slammed my fist into the third button, as a crackle popped over the radio. Wait, drop pods had radios? "Who da hell ju… mores' woke me up?" A sassy woman suddenly blurted out over the drop pod's radio, and I stared down at it. "What?!" I replied, as the radio began to speak back. "Yo! Fool, what you tryin' here?" The sassy black woman once again cried out, and I began to speak to her again. "Okay. So, what are you?" It was a bit hard to hear myself over all of the gunfire, but the radio was perfectly audible. "Me? What am I? I am LaShonda, I'll have you know, and I am a certifiable Drop Pod AI Chip, option number three."
Before I could respond to LaShonda, I was interrupted by the large body of Nikolai falling from the air. He landed in the drop pod, and I could see that a Hyperion soldier had knocked him over with the butt of his gun. Before anything else could happen, LaShonda fired off into the deep abyss that is known a… [view original content]
[Three!]
I quickly slammed my fist into the third button, as a crackle popped over the radio. Wait, drop pods had radios? "Who da hell ju… mores' woke me up?" A sassy woman suddenly blurted out over the drop pod's radio, and I stared down at it. "What?!" I replied, as the radio began to speak back. "Yo! Fool, what you tryin' here?" The sassy black woman once again cried out, and I began to speak to her again. "Okay. So, what are you?" It was a bit hard to hear myself over all of the gunfire, but the radio was perfectly audible. "Me? What am I? I am LaShonda, I'll have you know, and I am a certifiable Drop Pod AI Chip, option number three."
Before I could respond to LaShonda, I was interrupted by the large body of Nikolai falling from the air. He landed in the drop pod, and I could see that a Hyperion soldier had knocked him over with the butt of his gun. Before anything else could happen, LaShonda fired off into the deep abyss that is known a… [view original content]
Why not engage in a boss battle? Also, this part was great! I loved the backstory talk between Nikolai and Daniel. Nikolai eating his sister was dark humor done right! Lashonda was a good addition as well, and I hope to see more of her in the future
[Three!]
I quickly slammed my fist into the third button, as a crackle popped over the radio. Wait, drop pods had radios? "Who da hell ju… mores' woke me up?" A sassy woman suddenly blurted out over the drop pod's radio, and I stared down at it. "What?!" I replied, as the radio began to speak back. "Yo! Fool, what you tryin' here?" The sassy black woman once again cried out, and I began to speak to her again. "Okay. So, what are you?" It was a bit hard to hear myself over all of the gunfire, but the radio was perfectly audible. "Me? What am I? I am LaShonda, I'll have you know, and I am a certifiable Drop Pod AI Chip, option number three."
Before I could respond to LaShonda, I was interrupted by the large body of Nikolai falling from the air. He landed in the drop pod, and I could see that a Hyperion soldier had knocked him over with the butt of his gun. Before anything else could happen, LaShonda fired off into the deep abyss that is known a… [view original content]
I looked at Nikolai and smiled, nodding. If he wanted to mow down bandits at will, who's to stop him? I watched as Nikolai opened fire on the bandits, a loud but satisfying RATATATA. We jumped down, looking at the few bandits that Nikolai had just splattered on to the floor, and I put my hands on my hips, grinning cooly. "Hello, gentlemen. We're here to kill your men, pillage your village, and kidnap your women and children!" I yelled with glee, as the bandits began to growl and yell, rushing towards us. "Okay, that was really poor choice of words..." I mumbled to myself, jumping down as a bandit flew past me, and I threw a fist into another's face. "I knew those classes would help..."
"What classes did you take?" Nikolai suddenly asked me, as he jumped out of the way of an oncoming bullet then tossed a bandit into the air. "Oh, just some karate and such. Even if I didn't take those classes, I have my silver tongue to help me out.
"Oh, ha, I see, American metaphor."
"No, actually my tongue is made of silver. Part of it. You get used to the metallic taste eventually." I sighed and looked up to the sky, dreamily reminiscing. "The taste of pennies...without all the ambulances and choking." I then grabbed a bandit into a headlock and threw him away from me again. "You fight well for a little man." Nikolai said, using his gun to forcibly choke a bandit as bullets pelted the poor man's body. "I told you, karate really helps. And bar fights." I threw another punch into a bandit, before looking up to see a bandit threw the crowd, an assault rifle in hands. He began firing wildly at me, and I jumped on to my belly and slid across the snow behind a rock. I heard an audible scream from Nikolai and my eyes widened. "Nikolai!" I called out, and I saw the large man running up to me. However, it appeared as if something was missing. In fact, in place of Nikolai's right eye, was an empty hole. "Why do my eyes hurt?" Nikolai asked, and I shrugged. "Uh, you've never used them before?"
I peered over my rock to get a good look at the bandits, who were now using Nikolai's eyeball as a kickball. "Nobody messes with my favorite Russian!" I whispered, and then looked at myself. Did I really think I could take on all those bandits? Could I? The business man, the man with the plan, the wimpy yet good-willed guy who sort of made it to a green belt in karate?
"At first I was afraid..." I began singing to myself, closing my eyes and bringing my fist up and down.
"I was petrified. I didn't know what I would do without you my by side. But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong." I reached over and grabbed Nikolai's gun, cocking it. "And I grew strong. I learned how to get along!"
I jumped over the rock, firing bullets at the bandits. "So now your back! From outer space! I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face!" I sang, before slamming the butt of the rifle into a bandit's face. "I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key!" I cried before dodging a burst of gunfire and shooting again at the bandits. "If I had known for just one second, you'd be back to bother me!"
I watched as Bewm ran off, and more bandits surrounded me with pistols. "Go on now go!" I yelled before throwing my assault rifle at a bandit then jumping down as they opened fire unwillingly on each other. "Walk out the door!" I grabbed a dead bandit's pistol and began firing at the living ones. "Just turn around now! Cause you're not welcome anymore!" I sang before hitting a bandit over the head and running after Bewm who was now climbing up a large ship. I pointed at him and began to sing. "Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?"
"Did I crumble?"
"Did I lay down and die?!"
A mortar round fired off from the ship and I jumped out of the way of the explosion and grabbed at the ground, then jumped back up. "Oh no not I! I will survive!" I fired a burst of bullets as another mortar round fired into the air. "Oh and as long as I know how to love I know how to stay alive!" I quickly jumped out of the way again as the explosion sent rocks and pebbles flying. "I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give! I will survive!" I grabbed ahold of the ship and began to climb up a ladder. A mortar round flew up into the air, and I soon realized I couldn't escape this one. The music inside my head stopped, as I braced for impact and and closed my eyes.
The explosion was quick and swift. I was surrounded by white and yellow light, and my head was pounding horribly. When I finally came to my senses, I could see smoke, debris, and snow floating around, along with a very short person. Bewm was standing on top of me with a knife, and he seemed very intent on stabbing it into my skull. "Boom boom baby!" He cried, raising the knife and I looked away.
However, my death didn't come.
Bewm's did, however.
A bullet flew through Bewm's head, and he crumpled to the ground. I pushed his body off of me, then looked to where the bullet had come from. Nikolai, standing with a smoking pistol in hand, looked at and smiled. His eye was still missing, but he seemed oddly happy. "I will survive." He spoke, and I smiled. "Hey hey hey hey!" I cried out, and the two of us began heading out, singing in unison. "It took all the strength I had not to fall apart! Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart! And I spent oh so many nights feeling sorry for myself. And I did cry! But now I hold my head up high! And you see me! Somebody new! I'm not that chained up little person who used to be in love with you! And so you feel like dropping in, and just expect me to be free, but I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me! Go on now go! Walk out the door! Just turn around now! You're not welcome here anymore!"
Unknowingly, we were headed straight for a little town called Liar's Berg.
[Let Nikolai shoot]
I looked at Nikolai and smiled, nodding. If he wanted to mow down bandits at will, who's to stop him? I watched as Ni… morekolai opened fire on the bandits, a loud but satisfying RATATATA. We jumped down, looking at the few bandits that Nikolai had just splattered on to the floor, and I put my hands on my hips, grinning cooly. "Hello, gentlemen. We're here to kill your men, pillage your village, and kidnap your women and children!" I yelled with glee, as the bandits began to growl and yell, rushing towards us. "Okay, that was really poor choice of words..." I mumbled to myself, jumping down as a bandit flew past me, and I threw a fist into another's face. "I knew those classes would help..."
"What classes did you take?" Nikolai suddenly asked me, as he jumped out of the way of an oncoming bullet then tossed a bandit into the air. "Oh, just some karate and such. Even if I didn't take those classes, I have my silver tongue t… [view original content]
[Let Nikolai shoot]
I looked at Nikolai and smiled, nodding. If he wanted to mow down bandits at will, who's to stop him? I watched as Ni… morekolai opened fire on the bandits, a loud but satisfying RATATATA. We jumped down, looking at the few bandits that Nikolai had just splattered on to the floor, and I put my hands on my hips, grinning cooly. "Hello, gentlemen. We're here to kill your men, pillage your village, and kidnap your women and children!" I yelled with glee, as the bandits began to growl and yell, rushing towards us. "Okay, that was really poor choice of words..." I mumbled to myself, jumping down as a bandit flew past me, and I threw a fist into another's face. "I knew those classes would help..."
"What classes did you take?" Nikolai suddenly asked me, as he jumped out of the way of an oncoming bullet then tossed a bandit into the air. "Oh, just some karate and such. Even if I didn't take those classes, I have my silver tongue t… [view original content]
[Let Nikolai shoot]
I looked at Nikolai and smiled, nodding. If he wanted to mow down bandits at will, who's to stop him? I watched as Ni… morekolai opened fire on the bandits, a loud but satisfying RATATATA. We jumped down, looking at the few bandits that Nikolai had just splattered on to the floor, and I put my hands on my hips, grinning cooly. "Hello, gentlemen. We're here to kill your men, pillage your village, and kidnap your women and children!" I yelled with glee, as the bandits began to growl and yell, rushing towards us. "Okay, that was really poor choice of words..." I mumbled to myself, jumping down as a bandit flew past me, and I threw a fist into another's face. "I knew those classes would help..."
"What classes did you take?" Nikolai suddenly asked me, as he jumped out of the way of an oncoming bullet then tossed a bandit into the air. "Oh, just some karate and such. Even if I didn't take those classes, I have my silver tongue t… [view original content]
Oh crap, it was so cold. Oh crap why did it have to be this cold. And why can't my arms be stronger. Come on...come on...
I was currently holding on to a small ridge on the side of the mountain, below me nothing but a white mist. "Come on..." I whispered to myself, throwing an arm up and putting my fingers around a grip hold. I then threw another up, pulling myself up further up the mountain. "Gauss...I swear to God...Gauss..." I hadn't seen Gauss after we had fallen off the mountain. Hopefully she was lying at the bottom of the mountain, a broken and bloody mess. That'd be nice. "Give me that one, will you?" I asked myself, then threw another arm up and began to climb. I was just personally glad that I hadn't been taken out by that avalanche. I coughed, then threw another arm up and pulled. Grunting, I finally threw another arm up, only for it to grip a loose rock and nearly send me flying off. My arm slung out, and my eyes widened as I was nearly sent tumbling down the ridge. "Oh shit!" I cried, slinging my arm back up again and grabbing the hole where the loose rock had fallen from.
I continued my climb, until finally I reached the top, struggling to pull myself up. Eventually, I managed to get on the ridge, safe and sound. "Oh crap." I decided to just lay down for a little bit, as you know, whenever you scale a mountain with just your bare hands, you tend to get a little tired. I laid there for a few deciding moments, then finally stood up, traveling through the snow. I could barely see, as it appeared there was a blizzard flurrying across the mountain. The blinding snow flapped across me, as I grabbed my arms and began to rub them for temporary warmth. "Hello?" I called out as best as I could, and upon hearing no response, called out again. "Hello? Anybody? Answer me!" No words were spoken again, just the unsatisfying howl of the wind. I continued walking until my foot suddenly hit something. Something surprisingly metal.
The object was light, and it didn't hurt my foot. I sniffed the air and looked down at the new thing I had found. A head, as it appeared, but not human. A robot's. "Uh, are you alive?"
I was cut off by a whirring sound emitting from the robot's head, and a small light appeared to beam from it. "Hello! I am LL-X86, new friend! Please take me with you!"
I studied the robot for a second, and then picked it up, allowin it to face me. "Do you know any poetry?" I asked, and LL-X86 seemed to go into thought for a few seconds, before responding. "Some say the world will end in fire..."
"Nope!" I replied, and was about to toss LL-X86 over my shoulder, but it began to talk again. "Wait! I also play music!" It cried, if robots could cry out, and I looked back down at it, bringing it to eye level. "What kind?" I asked, and LL-X86 appeared to go into thought for a few seconds.
"Good enough." I said, and tugged it to my stomach and began walking.
Jericho
I woke up cold, blind, and alone. I was really deep in ice and snow, the mess having covered me and smothering the others as well. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move, and I was getting really claustrophobic. "Mmmf! Mmmph!" I moaned under the snow, wriggling around in an attempt to get out. It was hopeless however. Nobody was coming to my aid, I had no hero to save me. Goodbye Jericho Steel, you'll be the next ice mummy they find two millions years in the future. And then some kid is gonna tap on the glass of your case. Some scientist is going to name you Ted. A scientist is going to name you Ted, Jericho.
I whimpered, almost accepting my fate as an ice mummy, before a sudden sound came from outside of the snowy grave. My eyes widened and opened over the snow, as a large metal hand reached down and pulled me up. Loaderbot 457 was there for the rescue! "She's so cold, so cold." 457 said, and I smiled, shivering. I saw that next to 457 was a huddling Anton, currently holding his arm and sat down in a crisscross position. I was set down by 457, and greeted Anton. I waved, and Anton nodded, then we stared out into the snowy wreckage of the avalanche. Rocks, ice, metal and other assortments of things were hiding away in the snow, having been carried away in the drift. Loaderbot 457 just looked kind of confused at this point, as he looked around for the other survivors. "No life forms detected." He spoke, and I turned my head back to the avalanche.
A Minerva POV! And she teamed up with LLX! And LLX started to recite a really inappropriate poem! I like that so much
["Other people?"]
I just can't choose who to call, so I choose this neutral option. Out of a reflex, I'd say Claptrap, who technically isn't a life form, but I am afraid that he might answer.
CHAPTER 3: SNOWY MOUNTAIN HOP
Minerva
Oh crap, it was so cold. Oh crap why did it have to be this cold. And why can't my arms be stron… moreger. Come on...come on...
I was currently holding on to a small ridge on the side of the mountain, below me nothing but a white mist. "Come on..." I whispered to myself, throwing an arm up and putting my fingers around a grip hold. I then threw another up, pulling myself up further up the mountain. "Gauss...I swear to God...Gauss..." I hadn't seen Gauss after we had fallen off the mountain. Hopefully she was lying at the bottom of the mountain, a broken and bloody mess. That'd be nice. "Give me that one, will you?" I asked myself, then threw another arm up and began to climb. I was just personally glad that I hadn't been taken out by that avalanche. I coughed, then threw another arm up and pulled. Grunting, I finally threw another arm up, only for it to grip a loose rock and nearly send me flying off. … [view original content]
CHAPTER 3: SNOWY MOUNTAIN HOP
Minerva
Oh crap, it was so cold. Oh crap why did it have to be this cold. And why can't my arms be stron… moreger. Come on...come on...
I was currently holding on to a small ridge on the side of the mountain, below me nothing but a white mist. "Come on..." I whispered to myself, throwing an arm up and putting my fingers around a grip hold. I then threw another up, pulling myself up further up the mountain. "Gauss...I swear to God...Gauss..." I hadn't seen Gauss after we had fallen off the mountain. Hopefully she was lying at the bottom of the mountain, a broken and bloody mess. That'd be nice. "Give me that one, will you?" I asked myself, then threw another arm up and began to climb. I was just personally glad that I hadn't been taken out by that avalanche. I coughed, then threw another arm up and pulled. Grunting, I finally threw another arm up, only for it to grip a loose rock and nearly send me flying off. … [view original content]
CHAPTER 3: SNOWY MOUNTAIN HOP
Minerva
Oh crap, it was so cold. Oh crap why did it have to be this cold. And why can't my arms be stron… moreger. Come on...come on...
I was currently holding on to a small ridge on the side of the mountain, below me nothing but a white mist. "Come on..." I whispered to myself, throwing an arm up and putting my fingers around a grip hold. I then threw another up, pulling myself up further up the mountain. "Gauss...I swear to God...Gauss..." I hadn't seen Gauss after we had fallen off the mountain. Hopefully she was lying at the bottom of the mountain, a broken and bloody mess. That'd be nice. "Give me that one, will you?" I asked myself, then threw another arm up and began to climb. I was just personally glad that I hadn't been taken out by that avalanche. I coughed, then threw another arm up and pulled. Grunting, I finally threw another arm up, only for it to grip a loose rock and nearly send me flying off. … [view original content]
CHAPTER 3: SNOWY MOUNTAIN HOP
Minerva
Oh crap, it was so cold. Oh crap why did it have to be this cold. And why can't my arms be stron… moreger. Come on...come on...
I was currently holding on to a small ridge on the side of the mountain, below me nothing but a white mist. "Come on..." I whispered to myself, throwing an arm up and putting my fingers around a grip hold. I then threw another up, pulling myself up further up the mountain. "Gauss...I swear to God...Gauss..." I hadn't seen Gauss after we had fallen off the mountain. Hopefully she was lying at the bottom of the mountain, a broken and bloody mess. That'd be nice. "Give me that one, will you?" I asked myself, then threw another arm up and began to climb. I was just personally glad that I hadn't been taken out by that avalanche. I coughed, then threw another arm up and pulled. Grunting, I finally threw another arm up, only for it to grip a loose rock and nearly send me flying off. … [view original content]
CHAPTER 3: SNOWY MOUNTAIN HOP
Minerva
Oh crap, it was so cold. Oh crap why did it have to be this cold. And why can't my arms be stron… moreger. Come on...come on...
I was currently holding on to a small ridge on the side of the mountain, below me nothing but a white mist. "Come on..." I whispered to myself, throwing an arm up and putting my fingers around a grip hold. I then threw another up, pulling myself up further up the mountain. "Gauss...I swear to God...Gauss..." I hadn't seen Gauss after we had fallen off the mountain. Hopefully she was lying at the bottom of the mountain, a broken and bloody mess. That'd be nice. "Give me that one, will you?" I asked myself, then threw another arm up and began to climb. I was just personally glad that I hadn't been taken out by that avalanche. I coughed, then threw another arm up and pulled. Grunting, I finally threw another arm up, only for it to grip a loose rock and nearly send me flying off. … [view original content]
CHAPTER 3: SNOWY MOUNTAIN HOP
Minerva
Oh crap, it was so cold. Oh crap why did it have to be this cold. And why can't my arms be stron… moreger. Come on...come on...
I was currently holding on to a small ridge on the side of the mountain, below me nothing but a white mist. "Come on..." I whispered to myself, throwing an arm up and putting my fingers around a grip hold. I then threw another up, pulling myself up further up the mountain. "Gauss...I swear to God...Gauss..." I hadn't seen Gauss after we had fallen off the mountain. Hopefully she was lying at the bottom of the mountain, a broken and bloody mess. That'd be nice. "Give me that one, will you?" I asked myself, then threw another arm up and began to climb. I was just personally glad that I hadn't been taken out by that avalanche. I coughed, then threw another arm up and pulled. Grunting, I finally threw another arm up, only for it to grip a loose rock and nearly send me flying off. … [view original content]
A Minerva POV! And she teamed up with LLX! And LLX started to recite a really inappropriate poem! I like that so much
["Other people?"]
… more
I just can't choose who to call, so I choose this neutral option. Out of a reflex, I'd say Claptrap, who technically isn't a life form, but I am afraid that he might answer.
CHAPTER 3: SNOWY MOUNTAIN HOP
Minerva
Oh crap, it was so cold. Oh crap why did it have to be this cold. And why can't my arms be stron… moreger. Come on...come on...
I was currently holding on to a small ridge on the side of the mountain, below me nothing but a white mist. "Come on..." I whispered to myself, throwing an arm up and putting my fingers around a grip hold. I then threw another up, pulling myself up further up the mountain. "Gauss...I swear to God...Gauss..." I hadn't seen Gauss after we had fallen off the mountain. Hopefully she was lying at the bottom of the mountain, a broken and bloody mess. That'd be nice. "Give me that one, will you?" I asked myself, then threw another arm up and began to climb. I was just personally glad that I hadn't been taken out by that avalanche. I coughed, then threw another arm up and pulled. Grunting, I finally threw another arm up, only for it to grip a loose rock and nearly send me flying off. … [view original content]
"Uh...those two other guys? Are you there? The psycho can stay, but the other one? You still alive?" I was greeted with nothing but the echo of my own voice, an unreassuring talk back. I sighed, shaking my head at the now silence, and looked back at Anton. "I don't think they're here. Or if they are...they're not alive." I pulled Anton to his feet, then peered through the snow. The blizzard was still going strong, blinding me and Anton. "Can you see a thing?" I asked, and Anton closed his one eye, shaking his head. "Just a few shapes in the white...pieces of rock, no people though." I quickly scanned the landscape once more, before pursing my lips. "We should probably keep moving." I replied, and heard the metal stomping of 457 behind me. We began to walk through the avalanche wreckage, climbing over rocks and trudging through snow. I nearly tripped and smashed my face into a rock, but Anton had grabbed my arm and pulled me up before I could. We finally stepped past the wreckage with minimal bruises and scratches, and continued trudging on.
After a few minutes of silence and stepping, I looked at Anton. "Wanna play I Spy?" I asked, still walking. Anton gave me a confused look. "What?" He rasped, and I shrugged. "Just something to pass the time. Like, I Spy with my little eye-"
"I know how to play I Spy."
"Well, I mean in your case it'd be I Spy with my one little eye-"
Anton glared towards me, and I took one step away from his intimidating evil one eye. We looked around, the silence returning for half a minute, before I decided to end the quietness again. "I Spy with my little eye...something white."
Anton looked at me, rolled his eye, then looked forward. It was silent for a moment, before he spoke. "Is it snow?" He asked, and I nodded. "Yeah, it's snow." Anton squinted his eye at me, then turned back up front, shaking his head. "I Spy with my little eye...something white." I said again, and Anton looked at me, then signs of a smile appearing on the sides of his face. He laughed, then playfully shoved me by the shoulder with his hand, and I laughed as well. I stumbled backwards, feeling my back hit a large boulder. "Oh, crap." I recoiled in pain, then slowly stepped away from the boulder. What lay on the rock was a large, hand drawn, overbearing painting. It had been crudely made with someone's fingers, and it was a red color, almost as if it were someone's blood. The writing read "LIAR'S BERG IS NOW CLOSED, PLEASE NEVER COME BACK AND DIE".
Anton stepped up next to me, as did 457. 457 held his red riot shield up to the rock, and touched the writing. He stepped back then, staring at it. "Very superstitious. Writing on the wall." He spoke, and Anton stepped back. "You think it was that girl with the green hair? Gauss, I think?" I asked, and Anton shrugged. "If you mean the one who shot me, then sure. Otherwise I have no idea what you're talking about considering I was no longer breathing for the entire fight with her."
I stared at the scarlet scribble, then stepped away with Anton as the three of us began to continue on. We eventually found a cave, and we scoured the tunnels extensively, but were greeted with nothing but the occasional growling bullymong and a few spiderants scurrying about. Knowing we did not want to mess with them, we kept moving on. Anton began to lean against the rock walls, and bits of pebbles fell down on us in a tiny dribble. "We're never going to make it out of here, are we?" I asked, staring straight ahead. It was becoming increasingly obvious, at least, that the three of us were to become frozen artifacts in this cave. Anton did not answer, simply sombering about behind me. "Wait!" He yelled, and me and 457 turned around to see Anton viciously scrubbing snow off of the wall. "What are you-" I said, before I finally saw the metal door behind the snow. I quickly began to help him open the door, before eventually we fell through as the door came open. We were sliding across something, and as I looked down at the surface, I realized we were standing atop an icy lake. I quickly scrambled up, grabbing Anton before he slid off as well. I then peered over to the door as Anton himself stood up, and saw 457 just squeezing through. "No, no no wait 457! Hold on!" I yelled, but he was already on the ice. I turned around in relief as the ice did not crack, only to see the other side of the icy river. Over on it's side was a small pathway leading up, and standing on the ice directly next to it were two figures. They quickly spun around and waved, one a large man and the other small compared to the muscular one.
They began to walk over, as I noticed that the large one was missing an eye and looked Russian in heritage. "Hey! You guys friendly and not psychopathic?" The smaller one asked, and I nodded. "I think so." The man nodded and smiled, then pointed at himself. "I'm Daniel Lockston. That's Nikolai." He pointed at the Russian man missing one of his eyes, and Anton stepped up in front of him. "How'd you lose your eye?" He asked, and Nikolai squinted. "Psycho bandit ripped it out. Nikolai's friend shot him though." He spoke, then pointed at his metal eyepatch. "How did you lose your eye?" He asked, and before Anton could answer, 457 came bounding behind him. "That robot's gonna break the ice!" Daniel cried out, pointing towards it, and 457 steadily stepped up, the ice cracking but unbroken. "Float like a butterfly." He said, and I grinned. "See? He's a smart robot. As long as he doesn't stomp, he should be fine."
However, I now think I shouldn't have said a single thing.
457 suddenly rose his left foot, and it began to shake. "Sting..." He tried his best to pull it up, but some unknown force was trying to push it down. "Like a..." He kept trying with all of his force, as us four began to step away from the robot, before finally he stopped shaking. "Bee?" His foot slammed into the ice, cracking it and sending spurts of water into the air. We looked down at the cracks that surrounded our feet, myself realizing that if I moved a muscle I would fall into the water to an icy grave. "Shit!" Anton cried out, and Nikolai looked up at the robot with anger. "Nikolai will crush you like he crush dictator!" He screamed, and Daniel looked at me. "What the hell is wrong with it?!"
I shook my head then looked at 457, his foot still firmly planted in the ice. "Please forgive me." The robot spoke, before his riot shield rose into the air, spinning around. He was going to slam it into the ice. I looked at the others, them unable to move as the ice began to separate under their feet. My own, however, were staying intact. I could do something, but I needed to do it now.
["Other people]
"Uh...those two other guys? Are you there? The psycho can stay, but the other one? You still alive?" I was greeted with n… moreothing but the echo of my own voice, an unreassuring talk back. I sighed, shaking my head at the now silence, and looked back at Anton. "I don't think they're here. Or if they are...they're not alive." I pulled Anton to his feet, then peered through the snow. The blizzard was still going strong, blinding me and Anton. "Can you see a thing?" I asked, and Anton closed his one eye, shaking his head. "Just a few shapes in the white...pieces of rock, no people though." I quickly scanned the landscape once more, before pursing my lips. "We should probably keep moving." I replied, and heard the metal stomping of 457 behind me. We began to walk through the avalanche wreckage, climbing over rocks and trudging through snow. I nearly tripped and smashed my face into a rock, but Anton had grabbed my arm and pulled me… [view original content]
I like Anton, especially considering that he is apparently one of the sanest people around and also among the longest living. I also like Daniel and especially Nikolai, so I can't decide who to save here. But since I want to save someone, I think stopping Loaderbot could be a good idea.
["Other people]
"Uh...those two other guys? Are you there? The psycho can stay, but the other one? You still alive?" I was greeted with n… moreothing but the echo of my own voice, an unreassuring talk back. I sighed, shaking my head at the now silence, and looked back at Anton. "I don't think they're here. Or if they are...they're not alive." I pulled Anton to his feet, then peered through the snow. The blizzard was still going strong, blinding me and Anton. "Can you see a thing?" I asked, and Anton closed his one eye, shaking his head. "Just a few shapes in the white...pieces of rock, no people though." I quickly scanned the landscape once more, before pursing my lips. "We should probably keep moving." I replied, and heard the metal stomping of 457 behind me. We began to walk through the avalanche wreckage, climbing over rocks and trudging through snow. I nearly tripped and smashed my face into a rock, but Anton had grabbed my arm and pulled me… [view original content]
Comments
y u want kill daniel and nikolai
[Nikolai, kill the guard.]
good representation of Jack, but everything else was 2Spooky4Me! (In a good way ;P)
[Russian man go kill other man.]
"Nikolai. You know what to do." I quickly told my Russian friend, who in turn devilishly smiled. "Nikolai make Hyperion go boom." He said, and I looked over at the soldier. "Hey! Jackass!" I called out to him, and he turned around to look at me.
I then proceeded to hold up a middle finger. "Wow. Okay. That was uncalled for, I can't believe you just did that-" The soldier was interrupted as Nikolai came flying into him and using one hand and diving them through the helmet and into the soldier's eyes. "Oh God! Oh Jesus Christ my eyes!" The soldier screamed, and Nikolai threw him to the ground and picked up the assault rifle he had been carrying. "Let us kill these assholes." Nikolai stated, and I nodded my head. "Oh. Yeah." I repeated, seeming to think that some other protagonists have already said this. Eh.
I followed behind Nikolai as two Hyperion guards began to turn around the hallway. "Kevin? You okay back here? We heard you screaming about something-oh God no!" The soldier screamed as a bullet flew through his head, and then into the other soldier's brain went a bullet flying. "I gotta say, you are remarkable my foreign friend!" I told Nikolai, and Nikolai continued to have a straight face, uh, straight ahead. "Back in Czech Republic Nikolai find man that try and steal slice of bread from Nikolai. Nikolai roasted man on spit, then Nikolai fed man to bear."
I smiled at Nikolai's story. "This guy. This guy is awesome." I said, as we stepped down the hallways and a red light began to shine just overhead. "WARNING. TWO MEN SEEN ESCAPING MORTAR PODS. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT MORTAR PODS ARE JUST CODE FOR DROP PODS, BRAVE HYPERION WORKERS. THE TWO MEN THAT NEED TO BE KILLED ARE KNOWN AS NIKOLAI IVANOSKY AND DANIEL LOCKSTON. YOU ARE TO SHOOT ON SIGHT. THANK YOU, AND HAVE A NICE DAY." A robotic female voice told us, and I looked over at Nikolai in surprise. "We need to go!" I yelled, and the two of us ran down the hallway. A few Hyperion soldiers ran down the way, but Nikolai shot them down quickly.
"Nikolai faster then bear from Soviet Russia. Ha. Nikolai eat most bears for breakfast. He go hunt bear in forest and break neck, then drag inside home and eat. Bear easy. Hyperion soldier easier." I had no idea what Nikolai was rambling on about now, so I just ignored him. We ran down the hallways more, until we approached a large sign hanging above a doorway that said REALLY DROP PODS NOT MORTAR SHELLS SERIOUSLY. We rushed in, and I hopped inside one of the drop pods, searching for a way to start them. All that there were were three numbers. "Oh, not this bullshit again!" I cried out, and turned around to see Nikolai hopping inside the two seater drop pod. He was shooting Hyperion soldiers away, but I knew I needed to hurry up.
[One button!]
[Two button!]
[Three button!]
[Three! Three buttons! Ah ah ah ah!]
[Three! Three buttons! Ah ah ah ah!]
Awesome Chapter!!!!!
That's not really a choice, it's just a joke about Sesame Street. :P
Well... [ALL THE BUTTONS!!]
Push all dem damn buttons.
I'd go with
[Three button!] why not
[removed]
Sheesh, that's so hard.
[Let Nikolai choose]
Also +1 for mentioning Czech Republic.
Is it an option to push all the buttons?
If not, I'll choose [Three button!]
[Three! Three buttons! Ah ah ah ah!]
Hey there Kiddos! Did one of you call for one of thoose old fashioned bump thingies? Well too bad. you're not getting one. That;ll show them bandits...
Wait,,,,
[Three!]
I quickly slammed my fist into the third button, as a crackle popped over the radio. Wait, drop pods had radios? "Who da hell jus' woke me up?" A sassy woman suddenly blurted out over the drop pod's radio, and I stared down at it. "What?!" I replied, as the radio began to speak back. "Yo! Fool, what you tryin' here?" The sassy black woman once again cried out, and I began to speak to her again. "Okay. So, what are you?" It was a bit hard to hear myself over all of the gunfire, but the radio was perfectly audible. "Me? What am I? I am LaShonda, I'll have you know, and I am a certifiable Drop Pod AI Chip, option number three."
Before I could respond to LaShonda, I was interrupted by the large body of Nikolai falling from the air. He landed in the drop pod, and I could see that a Hyperion soldier had knocked him over with the butt of his gun. Before anything else could happen, LaShonda fired off into the deep abyss that is known as space, and towards the desert planet that was known as Pandora. "No! Not there! Send me off to space! Send me into a black hole! Hell! I'll be Donald Trump's slave for a few months! Anywhere but Pandora!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it appeared that Nikolai was looking at me funny. "What is matter, Daniel? Two minutes before you good with Pandora, but now?"
"The place I was going to go was going to be safe! Kind of! At least I wouldn't have been screwed by bandits or killed by a bullymong!"
"Sugar, you don't know what you're in for." LaShonda stated, and I put my head into my palms as we entered Pandora's atmosphere. Instantly I could tell that the air was shifting, and the air was shifting for a much worse turn. No longer the clean, pine tree smell of the Hyperion offices, but now a strange musty smell from Pandora. Like an Irish Cowboy. Yeah, that was Pandora's smell. An Irish Cowboy.
As my strange thoughts of Pandora's smell were racking trough my brain, the drop pod was being covered in a thick sheet of ice, snow, and perhaps a few bodily fluids. Whatever the form, it was certainly wearing down in the drop pod. The metal case shifted and shook, and I fell over into my seat as LaShonda began to speak over the radio once more. "Oh, it is freezing out there! Looks like we in the Southern Shelf honey." I felt the drop pod hit the ground, as it swung us around and around, before finally resting to a stop.
The pod's door opened, the metal rising up into the air, causing steam to rise off of it's hot edges. "Thanks for riding with us honey! Hope you come back soon!" LaShonda called out, and I quickly climbed from the pod and into the cold snow. "This remind you of home, Nikolai?" I called out to the Russian, who shook his head. "No, not really." He said, and I shrugged, looking at our surroundings. Looked like a major blizzard was occurring, as I couldn't see for crap. "Knew I should have packed a sweater." I told myself, grabbing my arms in a futile attempt to keep warm. Just before me and Nikolai could decide what to do next, LaShonda's drop pod lifted up into the air, and zoomed off. "See ya'll later! Or probably not, as Hyperion's gonna want ya'lls heads on a stake!" The encouraging AI soon disappeared from site, headed back to the station. "Great. Amazing! Absolutely amazing! Not only are we stuck in ice world, we're being hunted by Hyperion, the biggest baddest corporation that ever was! Handsome Jack is trying to kill us! Hey, at least we can choose our own death! I could slowly freeze to death, I could be slowly tortured by bandits to death, or I could be shot by a Hyperion firing squad and then slowly die while shitting and pissing myself!" I screamed finally, and Nikolai shook his head. "You worry too much little man."
"Oh, do not call me a little man!" I yelled angrily, and Nikolai took his large hand and clenched it around my shirt collar, pulling me into the air. "Okay, okay, I'm a little man, I'm the littlest man there is!" I rasped, and he let me fall back to the ground. "Not true. Man named Larry King is littlest man I've ever seen. I could crush him with my pinky." He replied to my comment, then began walking into the snow storm. "Yeah! Okay! Don't worry, the death of talk show hosts makes me feel all warm inside too!" I said, trying my best not to sound sarcastic as the hulking behemoth would likely succeed in killing me next time. I scurried after him, walking beside of Nikolai. "So, are you used to the cold?"
"Yes. Nikolai live in bear cave for two years, only living off of berries and fish I caught."
"Oh, did you make a fishing rod or something, that's pretty resourceful-"
"I catch fish in my mouth near waterfall. Then I eat them alive."
"Oh, okay, that's nice too."
"Did I ever tell you about Nikolai's little sister?"
"Oh, no you haven't."
"Nikolai hated little sister. After Nikolai's parents died, Yvette was all Nikolai had left. So I ate her."
"How did you hate her, if you, uh, ate her, excuse the rhyming."
"She was a little tough. Plus she would not stop screaming."
"Okay, glad for that bonding moment we just had."
"Yes. Nikolai glad too."
It was silent for a few moments, and then I decided once more to speak up. "So, you not gonna ask me my backstory?"
"Nikolai does not care."
"So, it all started in the Summer of-"
Nikolai put a palm to my face as he pointed down at a small clearing ahead of us. I realized we were now near a ledge, and I could hear voices and see a few things down below us. Distinctly human things.
"Boom boom baby!" A midget with a welder's mask cried out, as a bandits tied to a stake began to scream. "Please! I didn't mean it when I said you look like a tiny dick! It's not because you do, which, you don't, it was just me being stupid! Come on, Bewm! We can be friends again!"
The midget, apparently Bewm, stared at him and very likely smiled under his mask. "Boooooommmm!" He yelled, before pressing a detonator and watched as the bandit exploded into a million bloody chunks. "Holy shit." I said, watching he terrifying scene play out down below. I watched as Nikolai raised his rifle, apparently about to shoot. Oh crap, this could be bad...
[Lower Nikolai's gun]
[Let Nikolai shoot]
[Let Nikolai shoot]
Those two are absolutely hilarious! Their little bonding moment and LaShonda the drop pod gave me a good laugh
[Lower Nikolai's gun]
Let the Russian shoot!
[Let Nikolai shoot]
[Lower Nikolai's gun]
I'd rather not have Dan and Nikolai fight with Boom and Bewm. Btw, Yvette was eaten alive? xD
[Let Nikolai Shoot]
Why not engage in a boss battle? Also, this part was great! I loved the backstory talk between Nikolai and Daniel. Nikolai eating his sister was dark humor done right! Lashonda was a good addition as well, and I hope to see more of her in the future
Probably
[Let Nikolai shoot]
I looked at Nikolai and smiled, nodding. If he wanted to mow down bandits at will, who's to stop him? I watched as Nikolai opened fire on the bandits, a loud but satisfying RATATATA. We jumped down, looking at the few bandits that Nikolai had just splattered on to the floor, and I put my hands on my hips, grinning cooly. "Hello, gentlemen. We're here to kill your men, pillage your village, and kidnap your women and children!" I yelled with glee, as the bandits began to growl and yell, rushing towards us. "Okay, that was really poor choice of words..." I mumbled to myself, jumping down as a bandit flew past me, and I threw a fist into another's face. "I knew those classes would help..."
"What classes did you take?" Nikolai suddenly asked me, as he jumped out of the way of an oncoming bullet then tossed a bandit into the air. "Oh, just some karate and such. Even if I didn't take those classes, I have my silver tongue to help me out.
"Oh, ha, I see, American metaphor."
"No, actually my tongue is made of silver. Part of it. You get used to the metallic taste eventually." I sighed and looked up to the sky, dreamily reminiscing. "The taste of pennies...without all the ambulances and choking." I then grabbed a bandit into a headlock and threw him away from me again. "You fight well for a little man." Nikolai said, using his gun to forcibly choke a bandit as bullets pelted the poor man's body. "I told you, karate really helps. And bar fights." I threw another punch into a bandit, before looking up to see a bandit threw the crowd, an assault rifle in hands. He began firing wildly at me, and I jumped on to my belly and slid across the snow behind a rock. I heard an audible scream from Nikolai and my eyes widened. "Nikolai!" I called out, and I saw the large man running up to me. However, it appeared as if something was missing. In fact, in place of Nikolai's right eye, was an empty hole. "Why do my eyes hurt?" Nikolai asked, and I shrugged. "Uh, you've never used them before?"
I peered over my rock to get a good look at the bandits, who were now using Nikolai's eyeball as a kickball. "Nobody messes with my favorite Russian!" I whispered, and then looked at myself. Did I really think I could take on all those bandits? Could I? The business man, the man with the plan, the wimpy yet good-willed guy who sort of made it to a green belt in karate?
"At first I was afraid..." I began singing to myself, closing my eyes and bringing my fist up and down.
"I was petrified. I didn't know what I would do without you my by side. But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong." I reached over and grabbed Nikolai's gun, cocking it. "And I grew strong. I learned how to get along!"
I jumped over the rock, firing bullets at the bandits. "So now your back! From outer space! I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face!" I sang, before slamming the butt of the rifle into a bandit's face. "I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key!" I cried before dodging a burst of gunfire and shooting again at the bandits. "If I had known for just one second, you'd be back to bother me!"
I watched as Bewm ran off, and more bandits surrounded me with pistols. "Go on now go!" I yelled before throwing my assault rifle at a bandit then jumping down as they opened fire unwillingly on each other. "Walk out the door!" I grabbed a dead bandit's pistol and began firing at the living ones. "Just turn around now! Cause you're not welcome anymore!" I sang before hitting a bandit over the head and running after Bewm who was now climbing up a large ship. I pointed at him and began to sing. "Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?"
"Did I crumble?"
"Did I lay down and die?!"
A mortar round fired off from the ship and I jumped out of the way of the explosion and grabbed at the ground, then jumped back up. "Oh no not I! I will survive!" I fired a burst of bullets as another mortar round fired into the air. "Oh and as long as I know how to love I know how to stay alive!" I quickly jumped out of the way again as the explosion sent rocks and pebbles flying. "I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give! I will survive!" I grabbed ahold of the ship and began to climb up a ladder. A mortar round flew up into the air, and I soon realized I couldn't escape this one. The music inside my head stopped, as I braced for impact and and closed my eyes.
The explosion was quick and swift. I was surrounded by white and yellow light, and my head was pounding horribly. When I finally came to my senses, I could see smoke, debris, and snow floating around, along with a very short person. Bewm was standing on top of me with a knife, and he seemed very intent on stabbing it into my skull. "Boom boom baby!" He cried, raising the knife and I looked away.
However, my death didn't come.
Bewm's did, however.
A bullet flew through Bewm's head, and he crumpled to the ground. I pushed his body off of me, then looked to where the bullet had come from. Nikolai, standing with a smoking pistol in hand, looked at and smiled. His eye was still missing, but he seemed oddly happy. "I will survive." He spoke, and I smiled. "Hey hey hey hey!" I cried out, and the two of us began heading out, singing in unison. "It took all the strength I had not to fall apart! Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart! And I spent oh so many nights feeling sorry for myself. And I did cry! But now I hold my head up high! And you see me! Somebody new! I'm not that chained up little person who used to be in love with you! And so you feel like dropping in, and just expect me to be free, but I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me! Go on now go! Walk out the door! Just turn around now! You're not welcome here anymore!"
Unknowingly, we were headed straight for a little town called Liar's Berg.
END OF CHAPTER 2
The song... If fit beautifully....
Wonderful
Beautiful!
Couldn't of asked for a better representation of Daniel.
Props my man.
I will survive
CHAPTER 3: SNOWY MOUNTAIN HOP
Minerva
Oh crap, it was so cold. Oh crap why did it have to be this cold. And why can't my arms be stronger. Come on...come on...
I was currently holding on to a small ridge on the side of the mountain, below me nothing but a white mist. "Come on..." I whispered to myself, throwing an arm up and putting my fingers around a grip hold. I then threw another up, pulling myself up further up the mountain. "Gauss...I swear to God...Gauss..." I hadn't seen Gauss after we had fallen off the mountain. Hopefully she was lying at the bottom of the mountain, a broken and bloody mess. That'd be nice. "Give me that one, will you?" I asked myself, then threw another arm up and began to climb. I was just personally glad that I hadn't been taken out by that avalanche. I coughed, then threw another arm up and pulled. Grunting, I finally threw another arm up, only for it to grip a loose rock and nearly send me flying off. My arm slung out, and my eyes widened as I was nearly sent tumbling down the ridge. "Oh shit!" I cried, slinging my arm back up again and grabbing the hole where the loose rock had fallen from.
I continued my climb, until finally I reached the top, struggling to pull myself up. Eventually, I managed to get on the ridge, safe and sound. "Oh crap." I decided to just lay down for a little bit, as you know, whenever you scale a mountain with just your bare hands, you tend to get a little tired. I laid there for a few deciding moments, then finally stood up, traveling through the snow. I could barely see, as it appeared there was a blizzard flurrying across the mountain. The blinding snow flapped across me, as I grabbed my arms and began to rub them for temporary warmth. "Hello?" I called out as best as I could, and upon hearing no response, called out again. "Hello? Anybody? Answer me!" No words were spoken again, just the unsatisfying howl of the wind. I continued walking until my foot suddenly hit something. Something surprisingly metal.
The object was light, and it didn't hurt my foot. I sniffed the air and looked down at the new thing I had found. A head, as it appeared, but not human. A robot's. "Uh, are you alive?"
I was cut off by a whirring sound emitting from the robot's head, and a small light appeared to beam from it. "Hello! I am LL-X86, new friend! Please take me with you!"
I studied the robot for a second, and then picked it up, allowin it to face me. "Do you know any poetry?" I asked, and LL-X86 seemed to go into thought for a few seconds, before responding. "Some say the world will end in fire..."
"Nope!" I replied, and was about to toss LL-X86 over my shoulder, but it began to talk again. "Wait! I also play music!" It cried, if robots could cry out, and I looked back down at it, bringing it to eye level. "What kind?" I asked, and LL-X86 appeared to go into thought for a few seconds.
"Good enough." I said, and tugged it to my stomach and began walking.
Jericho
I woke up cold, blind, and alone. I was really deep in ice and snow, the mess having covered me and smothering the others as well. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move, and I was getting really claustrophobic. "Mmmf! Mmmph!" I moaned under the snow, wriggling around in an attempt to get out. It was hopeless however. Nobody was coming to my aid, I had no hero to save me. Goodbye Jericho Steel, you'll be the next ice mummy they find two millions years in the future. And then some kid is gonna tap on the glass of your case. Some scientist is going to name you Ted. A scientist is going to name you Ted, Jericho.
I whimpered, almost accepting my fate as an ice mummy, before a sudden sound came from outside of the snowy grave. My eyes widened and opened over the snow, as a large metal hand reached down and pulled me up. Loaderbot 457 was there for the rescue! "She's so cold, so cold." 457 said, and I smiled, shivering. I saw that next to 457 was a huddling Anton, currently holding his arm and sat down in a crisscross position. I was set down by 457, and greeted Anton. I waved, and Anton nodded, then we stared out into the snowy wreckage of the avalanche. Rocks, ice, metal and other assortments of things were hiding away in the snow, having been carried away in the drift. Loaderbot 457 just looked kind of confused at this point, as he looked around for the other survivors. "No life forms detected." He spoke, and I turned my head back to the avalanche.
["Zane?"]
["Smiler?"]
["Blisterscope?"]
["Sophie?"]
["Claptrap?"]
["Other people?"]
["They're not here, let's move on."]
A Minerva POV! And she teamed up with LLX! And LLX started to recite a really inappropriate poem! I like that so much
["Other people?"]
I just can't choose who to call, so I choose this neutral option. Out of a reflex, I'd say Claptrap, who technically isn't a life form, but I am afraid that he might answer.
[''Claptrap''?]
Easiest choise so far in this fanfic
["Other people?"]
["Claptrap?"]
["Other people?"]
who's this guy? he's downright dreamy.
["Other people?"]
that was great XD
[Other people?]
Gonna bump this place up.
["Other people]
"Uh...those two other guys? Are you there? The psycho can stay, but the other one? You still alive?" I was greeted with nothing but the echo of my own voice, an unreassuring talk back. I sighed, shaking my head at the now silence, and looked back at Anton. "I don't think they're here. Or if they are...they're not alive." I pulled Anton to his feet, then peered through the snow. The blizzard was still going strong, blinding me and Anton. "Can you see a thing?" I asked, and Anton closed his one eye, shaking his head. "Just a few shapes in the white...pieces of rock, no people though." I quickly scanned the landscape once more, before pursing my lips. "We should probably keep moving." I replied, and heard the metal stomping of 457 behind me. We began to walk through the avalanche wreckage, climbing over rocks and trudging through snow. I nearly tripped and smashed my face into a rock, but Anton had grabbed my arm and pulled me up before I could. We finally stepped past the wreckage with minimal bruises and scratches, and continued trudging on.
After a few minutes of silence and stepping, I looked at Anton. "Wanna play I Spy?" I asked, still walking. Anton gave me a confused look. "What?" He rasped, and I shrugged. "Just something to pass the time. Like, I Spy with my little eye-"
"I know how to play I Spy."
"Well, I mean in your case it'd be I Spy with my one little eye-"
Anton glared towards me, and I took one step away from his intimidating evil one eye. We looked around, the silence returning for half a minute, before I decided to end the quietness again. "I Spy with my little eye...something white."
Anton looked at me, rolled his eye, then looked forward. It was silent for a moment, before he spoke. "Is it snow?" He asked, and I nodded. "Yeah, it's snow." Anton squinted his eye at me, then turned back up front, shaking his head. "I Spy with my little eye...something white." I said again, and Anton looked at me, then signs of a smile appearing on the sides of his face. He laughed, then playfully shoved me by the shoulder with his hand, and I laughed as well. I stumbled backwards, feeling my back hit a large boulder. "Oh, crap." I recoiled in pain, then slowly stepped away from the boulder. What lay on the rock was a large, hand drawn, overbearing painting. It had been crudely made with someone's fingers, and it was a red color, almost as if it were someone's blood. The writing read "LIAR'S BERG IS NOW CLOSED, PLEASE NEVER COME BACK AND DIE".
Anton stepped up next to me, as did 457. 457 held his red riot shield up to the rock, and touched the writing. He stepped back then, staring at it. "Very superstitious. Writing on the wall." He spoke, and Anton stepped back. "You think it was that girl with the green hair? Gauss, I think?" I asked, and Anton shrugged. "If you mean the one who shot me, then sure. Otherwise I have no idea what you're talking about considering I was no longer breathing for the entire fight with her."
I stared at the scarlet scribble, then stepped away with Anton as the three of us began to continue on. We eventually found a cave, and we scoured the tunnels extensively, but were greeted with nothing but the occasional growling bullymong and a few spiderants scurrying about. Knowing we did not want to mess with them, we kept moving on. Anton began to lean against the rock walls, and bits of pebbles fell down on us in a tiny dribble. "We're never going to make it out of here, are we?" I asked, staring straight ahead. It was becoming increasingly obvious, at least, that the three of us were to become frozen artifacts in this cave. Anton did not answer, simply sombering about behind me. "Wait!" He yelled, and me and 457 turned around to see Anton viciously scrubbing snow off of the wall. "What are you-" I said, before I finally saw the metal door behind the snow. I quickly began to help him open the door, before eventually we fell through as the door came open. We were sliding across something, and as I looked down at the surface, I realized we were standing atop an icy lake. I quickly scrambled up, grabbing Anton before he slid off as well. I then peered over to the door as Anton himself stood up, and saw 457 just squeezing through. "No, no no wait 457! Hold on!" I yelled, but he was already on the ice. I turned around in relief as the ice did not crack, only to see the other side of the icy river. Over on it's side was a small pathway leading up, and standing on the ice directly next to it were two figures. They quickly spun around and waved, one a large man and the other small compared to the muscular one.
They began to walk over, as I noticed that the large one was missing an eye and looked Russian in heritage. "Hey! You guys friendly and not psychopathic?" The smaller one asked, and I nodded. "I think so." The man nodded and smiled, then pointed at himself. "I'm Daniel Lockston. That's Nikolai." He pointed at the Russian man missing one of his eyes, and Anton stepped up in front of him. "How'd you lose your eye?" He asked, and Nikolai squinted. "Psycho bandit ripped it out. Nikolai's friend shot him though." He spoke, then pointed at his metal eyepatch. "How did you lose your eye?" He asked, and before Anton could answer, 457 came bounding behind him. "That robot's gonna break the ice!" Daniel cried out, pointing towards it, and 457 steadily stepped up, the ice cracking but unbroken. "Float like a butterfly." He said, and I grinned. "See? He's a smart robot. As long as he doesn't stomp, he should be fine."
However, I now think I shouldn't have said a single thing.
457 suddenly rose his left foot, and it began to shake. "Sting..." He tried his best to pull it up, but some unknown force was trying to push it down. "Like a..." He kept trying with all of his force, as us four began to step away from the robot, before finally he stopped shaking. "Bee?" His foot slammed into the ice, cracking it and sending spurts of water into the air. We looked down at the cracks that surrounded our feet, myself realizing that if I moved a muscle I would fall into the water to an icy grave. "Shit!" Anton cried out, and Nikolai looked up at the robot with anger. "Nikolai will crush you like he crush dictator!" He screamed, and Daniel looked at me. "What the hell is wrong with it?!"
I shook my head then looked at 457, his foot still firmly planted in the ice. "Please forgive me." The robot spoke, before his riot shield rose into the air, spinning around. He was going to slam it into the ice. I looked at the others, them unable to move as the ice began to separate under their feet. My own, however, were staying intact. I could do something, but I needed to do it now.
[Try and save Nikolai]
[Try and save Anton]
[Try and save Daniel]
[Run for shore]
[Try and stop Loaderbot 457]
[Try and save Anton]
FUCK ALL THE OTHERS
Awesome Chapter!!!!!
[Try and stop Loaderbot 457]
I like Anton, especially considering that he is apparently one of the sanest people around and also among the longest living. I also like Daniel and especially Nikolai, so I can't decide who to save here. But since I want to save someone, I think stopping Loaderbot could be a good idea.